01x12 - The Medicine Wagon

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Come dream
with me tonight ♪

♪ Dream with me tonight ♪

♪ Let's go
to far off places ♪

♪ And search
for treasures bright ♪

♪ Come dream
with me tonight ♪

♪ Let's build
a giant airship ♪

♪ And sail into the sky ♪

♪ Let's watch the ground
so far below ♪

♪ Let's watch the birds
as they fly by ♪

♪ Fly so high ♪

♪ Come dream
with me tonight ♪

Tweeg: Ohhh!

L.B., this is terrible.

I'm broke.

And worst of all,

I've run out of nutmeg
and buttermilk

for my gold recipe.

You always say that
when payday comes around.

I think me and the boys are
gonna quit working for you.

Yeah, I'm ready to quit
working for you.

Yeah, we're gonna quit,
and real soon.

Maybe you ought to try selling
some of this worthless junk

you got lying around here!

Like this book
of magic potions.

What, this?

Why, this book
contains the secret

of turning nutmeg
and buttermilk into gold!

Just a thought, Twig.

That's Tweeg, you dimwit!

Besides, I don't have time
for a yard sale.

I'm an important villain
with things to do.

Sure you are, Twink.

[cackling]

Here's the list
of bad deeds I have to do

to join the Monsters
and Villains Organization.

I mean, just look
at all the stuff
I'm supposed to do.

Like swindling
and cheating people.

I haven't the slightest
idea where to start.

Gee, maybe M.A.V.O.
would let you join

if they knew how good you are
with magic potions.

[laughing]

Knock it off,
you bug-brained Bounder.

Wait a minute.
Magic potions.

L.B., you've just
given me an idea

that's going to
make me rich.

Did you hear that,
huh, guys?

We're gonna get paid.

-Yay, I can't wait!
-Yeah, finally!

I didn't say you'd be paid,

I just said I'll be rich!

Sorry, Boss.
I guess not eating
for weeks

has got me
hearing things.

You're forgiven, L.B.

This is wonderful!

I can use my old potions
to make fake medicine.

And then all we have to do
is convince people
they need them.

Like what people?

People like Newton Gimmick

and those stupid
friends of his.

So, M.A.V.O. wants me
to swindle and cheat, eh?

Ha ha! Just wait till they
see me in action.

L.B., I think
I feel like singing.

I ought to get paid
overtime for this.

♪ If you haven't
figured out my idea ♪

♪ Here's a hint ♪

♪ With my little book
of secrets here ♪

♪ I could make a mint ♪

♪ The page
on sleeping potions ♪

♪ Is worth a coin or two ♪

♪ And the chapter
on wishing ♪

♪ Might just make
our wish come true ♪

♪ And the secret part
on flying ♪

♪ Has never yet been told ♪

♪ And the chapter there
on growing hair ♪

♪ Is worth a pot of gold ♪

♪ 'Cause from my
medicine wagon ♪

♪ His medicine wagon ♪

♪ People will buy
anything, you know ♪

♪ From my medicine wagon ♪

♪ His medicine wagon ♪

♪ I'll make lots
and lots of dough ♪

♪ From his medicine wagon ♪

♪ My medicine wagon ♪

♪ People will buy anything,
you know ♪

♪ From his medicine wagon ♪

♪ My medicine wagon ♪

♪ I'll make lots
and lots of ♪

♪ Bags and pails
and pots of ♪

♪ Lots and lots
and lots of ♪

♪ Do, Re, Mi,
Fa, So, La, Ti ♪

♪ Dough ♪

[applause]

Are you almost finished,
Gimmick? It's lunchtime.

Yeah, let's eat. I'm hungry.

He he.
Just a minute, boys.

First,
I'd like to try out
my new invention.

I sure hope it has
something to do with food.

Oh, indeed it does.

This is the
soon-to-be-famous

Gimmick, uh,
sandwich compressor.

Sandwich compressor?
How does it work, Gimmick?

Well, imagine Grubby
has made a sandwich

that was too big
for him to eat.

Yeah, I don't think there's
ever been a sandwich that big.

Wait a second.

How about this one?

[laughs]

Very good, Grubby.

Now watch.

[rumbling]

[whistling]

Teddy: Wow!

See?

Now you can eat it
without losing a single crumb.

Gimmick, you've made
a major breakthrough

in the fine art
of stuffing your face.

[clears throat]

Thank you.

It'll go great
with this special
Illiop salad I made.

You mean the one with
the secret ingredients?

That's right, Grubby.
Squash, cinnamon, and honey.

I've been busy too,
you know.

I made us all
a drink from--

welp, you'll never
guess what.

-Roots?
-Roots?

Aw, you guys
must have peeked.

Anyway, try some.

Why, Grubby,

this is most excellent.

It's delicious.
What is it?

It's an old
Octopede recipe.

You take mashed roots
and let them sit around
for a while,

until you get...uh, gee,
I don't even know
what it's called.

Well, I'm an inventor.

Perhaps I could invent
a name for it.

Let's see now.

I know.
How about... root beer?

[Teddy laughs]

Teddy:
Grubby, I don't think anyone

could have come up with
a more perfect name.

[Grubby laughs]

-Grubby: Okay, now can we eat?
-Gimmick: Yes, in a moment.

What's that
coming up the road?

[grumbling]

Whoa, big fella!

Big fella! Hmm!

Good day, my fine friends.

And what ails you today...
I hope?

Teddy:
Nothing, thank you.

We're feeling just fine.

Yuck! Who is that
miserable-looking creature?

Who? Him?

No, you!

I've never seen
such an odd-looking
creature in my life.

Now, hold on there!

That's our friend
you are talking about.

And who is this
bald-headed old gentleman?

Oh, well, I-I'm--

This are my friends.

This is Newton Gimmick,

and this is Grubby.
He's an Octopede.

There goes the neighborhood.

Well, I've got just the thing
for your eight-legged friend.

Just one swallow
of my magic potion

will make him handsome.

Handsome? Really?

Certainly. It says so
right here on the bottle.

And bottles don't lie!

My magic potion even made
a centipede cute once.

Wow. That's amazing.

I don't think you
need that, Grubby.

I like you
the way you are.

Nonsense!

He'll be much happier

when he's sporting
a healthy green complexion.

Like myself.

Here, drink it down.

How was it?

It's no root beer.

What about our skin-headed
friend over here?

Never mind.
I don't want anything.

Thank you.

What if I told you
this magic gunk

is guaranteed to grow
hair on solid rock?

Uh, uh-- really?

It says so
right on the jar.

Wait, Gimmick,

are you sure you really
need this stuff?

Hair might look nice.

Oh, you'll look sensational.
Years younger...

Hmm. Too bad I don't have
anything for you, shorty.

That's okay.
I like me the way I am.

Hey, Boss,

what about the gravitational
body extender... thingamabob.

That's right, faithful
assistant, I nearly forgot.

It's the perfect thing
for our little friend.

Yeah, Teddy,
it sounds kind of neat.

Why don't you try it?

Do you really think
I'm too short?

The answer is yes!

But this device will
fix you right up.

Hold this gravitational
stone over your head

and you'll grow
like a weed.

Like this?

Perfect. You've done this
before, right?

No, honest.

You certainly
could have fooled me.

[laughing]

Now, let's see.

There's the magic potion,
the gunk,

and the body-extender
thingamabob.

That'll be

I'm afraid
we only have one.

Uh, Teddy, I'm afraid
we only have none.

We spent it yesterday
on groceries.

Oh, well,
what do you have to swap?

Uh, well,
I have a nice jar
of fresh nutmeg

and four bags of flour.

Tweeg:
Hmm...

And two bottles
of buttermilk.

I'll take it.

You folks certainly
drive a hard bargain.

[L.B. laughing]

Tweeg:
I'm so brilliant, L.B.,

that sometimes
it frightens me.

Well, that takes care
of the swindling
and cheating part

of my M.A.V.O. initiation.

It I were you, Twunce,

I'd read the fine print.

What are you talking about,
you dim-witted dunce?

Egad!

"Candidate must swindle
or cheat at least 50 people,

including
one little old lady.

He must also take candy
from one baby."

What's the matter, Tweez,
can't hack it?

I'll show them!
I'll show all of them!

I'll swindle so many people
it will make their heads spin.

Take candy from a baby, eh?

I'll even take the
little brat's diaper!

Yuck!

On everyone's lips
will be one name-- Tweez!

Uh, I mean, Tweeg!

Tweeg, Tweeg, Tweeg,
Tweeg, Tweeg, Tweeg!

Yuck-a-bluck, icky, phooey!

This stuff tastes terrible.

I guess that means
it's good for you.

Hey, guys, am I handsome yet?

I-- Ow!

--always thought you were
handsome, Grubby.

-Ow!
-Hmm. Let's see.

The jar says,

"Smear a thick layer
of gunk onto scalp."

Hmm.

I think something
is starting to happen.

Yeah, I'm starting
to feel funny too.

Ow! Ow!

I'm starting to feel
a headache coming on.

Grubby:
What's wrong, Teddy?

Something's wrong with this
body-extender thingamabob.

This stone that's supposed
to be pulling me up

keeps bopping me
on the head.

Ow!

[Grubby laughs]

Teddy, you're gonna
look pretty funny

with those bumps
on your head.

[Teddy laughs]
You think I look funny?

You're all green!

Grubby,
just look at yourself.

Oh, no!

Green is my worst color!

Oh, my gosh, Teddy,
look at Gimmick.

Gimmick, what's
happening to you?

Oh! Oh, my.

I'm sprouting.

Actually, it's rather pretty.

He he he.

And I do like flowers.

Yup, and so do bees.

[buzzing]

-Whoa!
-Whoa!

Ah! Whoa!

Help! Go away!

Shoo, shoo, shoo!

That was a close one.

Indeed it was.

We were lucky
to escape so quickly.

You missed a weed,
Gimmick.

My hair--

Uh, I mean, garden--

is still growing.

Let me see if
I can wipe it off.

And I still have
a terrible headache.

I'm still green.

Ah-hah!

Just as I suspected.

This gunk is nothing more
than, uh, mud!

Very good mud, in fact,

to grow such nice flowers.

Maybe you could plant them
outside, Gimmick.

Precisely what I was
thinking, Teddy.

He he he.

There, at least we have

a nice little garden to show
for our foolishness.

It is very pretty, Gimmick.

Thank you, Teddy.

My, your head looks
quite a bit better.

So does yours, Gimmick.

I mean, I like you
a lot better this way.

Thank you.

And Grubby isn't green
anymore.

Hey, that's right,
I guess it just faded away.

I don't know why I let
that salesman make me think

there was something
wrong with me.

Being bald
never bothered me before.

Besides, if gunk
really could grow hair,

I would have invented it.

[laughing]

It's too bad they got away
with your flour,

nutmeg, and buttermilk,
Gimmick.

Oh, that's all right, Grubby.

It was a small price
to pay

to learn such
a valuable lesson.

Two valuable lessons.

Be happy
with who you are.

And never take anything
from strangers.

Right!

Tweeg:
Well, I must say,

swindling and cheating come
naturally to me.

Wouldn't you agree, L.B.?

Sure, Tweak,

it takes real talent

to give away all your medicine
and get back nothing.

That's right, I--

What are you talking about?

I got lots for it!

Yeah, lots of nutmeg
and flour for it.

[laughs]

And buttermilk, L.B.!
Don't forget the buttermilk!

[laughs]

M.A.V.O.'s gonna be
impressed all right!

If I could make some gold,

that would really
impress them.

I-- Wait a minute.

Nutmeg, flour, buttermilk.

Why, those are precisely
the ingredients I need

to make gold!

I just know this batch
will be the real thing.

L.B.:
Wanna bet?

L.B., I'd wring your neck
if you had one.

Now, help me
get the oven ready.

I sure hope you like
doughnuts, Harry.

I have a feeling
we're gonna be

up to our elbows
in them real soon.

Now then,
my latest device.

The sandwich uncompressor

should counteract this
unfortunate side effect.

He he he.

You mean your machine
will make the sandwich
fit on a plate again?

Precisely.

But uncompressing
a compressed sandwich

requires internal combustion

provided by the ingredients
in this jar.

What's that stuff, Gimmick?

Oh, just another little
invention of mine.

I call it, uh,
Popcorn Pizazz.

Grubby:
Are we gonna have popcorn?

No, no, Grubby.

It's actually a special
projectile powder.

Now, I want you both
to stand well back.

This stuff
is highly combustible.

Combustible?

That means
you should keep it away
from an open flame.

Precisely!

One wrong move
and... kaboom!

Grubby:
Hey, how come
I smell nutmeg?

[sniffs]

You know, Grubby's right.
I smell nutmeg too.

[sniffs] Oh, my!

You're both right.

This isn't
Popcorn Pizazz after all.

It's, uh, uh, nutmeg!

Now, how can that
have happened?

We all make mistakes.

Sure,
I make lots of them.

I'm afraid
I can't demonstrate

the, uh, uncompressor.

That's all right,
Gimmick.

Hmm.

I wonder why
I have this nutmeg

instead of the, uh,
Popcorn Pizazz.

I'll bet I know
what happened.

This afternoon,
when you meant to give
that salesman nutmeg...

You picked up the wrong jar
and really gave him...

Popcorn Pizazz.

Oh, dear, dear, dear.

That was quite an
oversight on my part.

It's too bad swindlers don't
leave you their addresses.

Otherwise we could warn them.

Yup, one wrong move
with that stuff, and...

All:
Kaboom!

Come on, L.B.
Look lively!

I need a nice hot fire
if this is going to work.

Be careful, Twiz.

You don't want to scorch
your doughnuts.

For the last time, L.B.,
I'm not making doughnuts.

I am making gold!

Well, sure...
gold doughnuts.

Oh, really, L.B.

[laughing]

I don't know why
I waste my time with you.

I guess I'm just lucky,
Twizzy.

Hmm, looks like it's almost
ready to be turned into gold.

L.B., hand me the nutmeg.

Okay, Twit, here it comes!

Whoa! Whoa!

Great catch.

Naturally.

I happen to be
a superb athlete.

Now I can't open the jar.

Maybe if you heat up
the lid, Boss.

For once if your life,
you've had a good idea.

[sizzling]

Yow!

Thanks to you
I just b*rned my hand.

Yeah, right.
It was a good idea.

Never mind.
Just hold the top.

You wanna hurry up, Twiz?

I can't stand
on one foot all day.

Yow!

Whoa!

I did it! I did it!

L.B., will you quit
lying around?

There's work to be done.

Now bring me a spoon.

Here, Tweak.

That's Tweeg,
you quarter-wit!

Now, let's see.

One heaping spoonful
ought to do it.

No, make that two
heaping spoonfuls.

-Why not three?
-Why not four?

Oh, what the heck,
let's put in the whole jar.

Gee, Twink,

I've never seen
your doughnut stuff

look so weird before.

That's because it's finally
turning into gold!

I told you it would,
but would you believe me?

No! You always think
I'm wrong.

Well, maybe from now on...

-[popping sound]
-What was that?

I don't know, Twigs,
it's sounding like popcorn.

Popcorn? I didn't put
popcorn in there.

Ow!

Ugh!

Yah!

Run for your lives!

-[gasps]
-Whoa-ho-ho!

[screaming]

[crying]

Lots of folks can't stand
to see a grown man cry.

Personally, I love it.

Wahhh!

[theme music playing]