01x03 - A Night to Remember

[bunniefuu]

[slam!]

[slam!]
Bert:

Cyril: What in blazes
is all that racket?

The Pigs: Uaaaah!
Cedric: Ghosts?!

[bats squealing]
Bert: [screams]

[screams]
[monster roaring

[bones rattling]

Ralph: Yiiiikes!

Cedric: I'm going to sleep in
the haunted house tonight.

Bert: Yikes!

Narrator: This is the
Evergreen forest.

Quiet, peaceful, serene.

That is, until
Bert Raccoon wakes up.

Bert Raccoon: Yahoooo!

♪♪

Yeeeehaaaa!

Yikes!

Yaaaah...
[bam!]

[laughs]
[smash!]

Yeaaaah!

Narrator: Luckily, he has some
good friends to help him out.

Broo: [panting]

♪♪

Narrator: Life would be simple
in the forest except for...

♪♪

Cyril Sneer!

[bleep blarp bloop]

And his life would be simple
except for...

the Raccoons!!

♪ [show theme music]

♪♪

♪♪

When the moon is full over
the Evergreen forest

and the stars are out,

it's sometimes very difficult

to distinguish myth
from reality.

And as bedtime draws near,

there are few who feel
safe enough to

close their eyes
and go to sleep,

because the strange sights
and sounds of the forest

can play havoc with
the imagination.

Julie: Tell us a
story please, Dad?

Tommy: Yeah, tell us
the one about ghosts

that come on when
there's a full moon!

Dan: [chuckles]

What makes you think
that ghosts come out

when there's a full moon?

Tommy: Well,
everybody knows that.

Julie: Yeah,
everybody knows that.

Schaeffer: Huh?!

Tommy: Julie, you
better go to sleep,

if Dad's going to
tell us about ghosts.

You always get scared
by things like that.

Boo!!

Julie: No, I don't!!
Tommy: Yes, you do.

You're always afraid
of things like that.

Julie: I'm am not!!
Tommy: You are too!

Dan: Okay, settle down, kids,
so I can tell the story.

[click]

It was a dark and misty night,

when two strangers hiking
deep in the forest,

came upon an old
abandoned house.

A house that, according to
legend, was haunted!

As the two strangers slowly
stepped onto the porch,

the full moon suddenly
broke through












Broo: [whines]

Dan: ...and the front door
mysteriously opened.

[door squeaks]

Tommy:
W-what was that?

Dan: It's okay, kids.
It's just Broo.

Julie: I knew that.
Tommy: So did I!

I was just trying
to scare Julie.

Honest!

Julie: Oh, Tommy!

[scary forest sounds]

Narrator: Meanwhile, in
another part of the forest,

something strange
was about to unfold

that would separate
myth from reality.

Earlier

Earlier that

Earlier that same

Earlier that same day,

Ralph and Bert Raccoon
and their friend Cedric,

were preparing for
a special trip

to the Raccoon's Boyhood Fort.

Ralph: Just think of it.
In a few short hours,

we'll be relaxing
in our secret Fort.

Ah, I haven't seen it
since we were kids.

It'll be the perfect home
away from home way.

Wait'll you see it, Cedric!

Bert: Ah, yes. The old fort!

Smack dab in the middle
of the wilderness.

It's wild and woolly,
untamed too!

And the fish are 10 feet long!!

Cedric: 10 feet long!?

Bert: Yeah, and those
are just the guppies.

Melissa:
Okay, I'm all packed too.

Bert: Huh?! Ralph?!

Ralph: Um...well...

It might be a little rugged.

We're going to be
hiking and fishing and

portaging and,
and chopping wood,

and fighting rapids...

Melissa: But I can do all that.

Bert: Ha, are you kidding?

And besides, we don't
allow any girls

in our fort, do we, Ralph?

Ralph: Ooh, Bert!

Sophia: Cedric, are you
going to join a club

that doesn't allow girls?

Cedric: Well... [giggles]

Bert: Uh, Cedric, remember
the secret handshake?

Cedric: Well...
Sophia: Cedric!?

Bert: And don't forget
the secret initiation.

That's the best part!

Cedric: Well, I guess so.

I think.

Sophia: Secret handshake?

Secret initiation?!

Melissa: I still don't
see why I can't come!

Ralph: Well, if you
really wanna know,

it's because of
the haunted house.

Cedric: Haunted house?!

Ralph: Yeah, the haunted house.

It's not the safest place.

Cedric: [nervous gulp]

Melissa: Oh, I'm not afraid
of a darned old haunted house.

Bert: Oh, well,

what about ghosts?

Cedric: G-g-gh-ghosts?

Bert: Not, g-g-g-g-ghosts!

Just your plain, ordinary,

scare ya' right out of
your wits ghosts!

That's all.
Melissa: [sighs] What ghosts?!

Bert: Whenever there's
a full moon out,

the ghosts come out
in the forest

to scare unsuspecting campers!

[laughs]

Uaaaah!

They att*ck when
you least suspect it.

Slowly and quietly,

they sneak up behind you,
and then...

Melissa: Booo!
Bert: Uaaah!

Sophia: Well, we don't
want to go to your

silly old fort anyway,
do we, Melissa?

Melissa: I guess not.

Ralph: Melissa,
we won't be gone long.

It's just a night
with the guys.

Bert: Come on,
let's get going!

Sophia: Now, are you sure
you boys are going to be okay,

all alone out there?

Bert: Hah! Don't worry about us.

We're trail-blazers, pioneers.

We know that wilderness
like the back of our hands.

Come on, troops!

[ka-thunk!]

Melissa/Sophia: [laughing]

Ralph: [chuckles]

Well, we'll see
you girls later!

Cedric/Bert: Bye!
Ralph: Bye now.

Melissa: Bye!
Sophia: Bye!

♪♪

Melissa: Wouldn't you know it?

Bert forgot his moose horn.

Narrator: So the three
brave hikers

were off on their adventure,

without a care in the world.

[birds chirping]

Cedric: Hey, all
that stuff about ghosts

that wasn't really true, was it?

Bert: Naaah!

Cedric: And all that
stuff about scaring

campers out of their minds?

That wasn't true either, was it?

Bert: Naaah!

I just said that stuff
to scare the girls.

Cedric: Phew,
that's a relief!

[giggles]

And all that stuff
about a haunted house,

you were just kidding
about that too, right?

Ralph: Nope!

Bert: Hey, Cedric, come on!

Are we men? Or are we mice?

♪♪

Ralph: One for all,
and all for one!

♪ We would stand on
Saturday nights, ♪

♪♪

♪ The boys and me in line,

♪♪

♪ Fighting for the chance
to dance with you... ♪

♪♪

♪ I can still remember

♪♪

♪ The look upon your face

♪♪

♪ You were so surprised
that I told you, ♪

♪♪

♪ All life long,

♪♪

♪ I knew it was forever

♪ All life long,

♪♪

♪ I knew we couldn't stop

♪ All life long,

♪ I knew it was forever,

♪ All life long,

♪♪

♪ We still go back there

♪♪

♪ Most Saturday nights,

♪♪

♪ The same old band in
gray and gold... ♪

♪♪

♪ And I can still remember
♪ Still remember

♪ You and the boys in line,

♪♪

♪ And I still want to
dance with you... ♪

♪ All life long,

♪♪

Bert: Ah! Hey, I'm hungry!

Are we there yet?

Ralph: Well, if my map is right,

it's just over this hill

and around that corner.

But before we can reveal the
secret location Cedric,

we have to teach you
the secret handshake.

Bert: Yahooo!

The secret handshake.
[laughs]

Remember, you can't
show this to anybody.

Cedric: Not even to Sophia?

Bert: Especially not Sophia!

She's a girl!!

Ralph: Okay
Cedric, now watch.

Bert: [chanting]
Kaboom-pa

Po-ta-pa-ti-pa-paa

Rub your belly
with linseed oil.

Wrap your head in aluminum foil.

Clap your hands,
stamp your feet

Our secret handshake
can't be b*at.

Yahooo!

Cedric: Bravo!!
Bravo!![clapping]

Bert: Now you try
it with me, Cedric.

[laughs]

[chanting]
Rub your belly..

[poke] Ugh!
[bam!]

Ah! Don't worry, Cedric,

It takes a few times
to get the hang of it.

Ralph: Yeah, Bert.
It took you three years!

Bert: Well, come on, let's go!

♪ [triumphant music]

Hey, heeeyyy! There's the fort?

Theeere's the fort!
Come on, let's go!

Last one in is a rotten egg!

Cedric: That's it?!

That's the fort, you guys
have been bragging about?!

Ralph: Well,
I guess, it does need

a little work here and there.

Cedric: A little work?!

It needs an architectural firm.

Bert: Aaah, nothing a little
hammering can't fix up.

Huh! We're the guys, remember?

Cedric: Uh, I don't
have to sleep in this

broken down old thing, do I?

Bert: Of course not, Cedric.

Ralph and I are
sleeping in here.

Yeah, but you, you're
sleeping over there.

That's your initiation.

Cedric: [nervous gulp]

♪

Narrator:

Narrator: Meanwhile,

Narrator: Meanwhile,
as

Narrator: Meanwhile,
as the

Narrator: Meanwhile,
as the Raccoons

Narrator: Meanwhile,
as the Raccoons unpack,

on the other side of the hill,

Cyril Sneer was on a
forced vacation.

Doctor's orders.

[TV humming]

[TV buzzing]

[birds chirping]
[alarm ringing]

Cyril: Get those blasted birds
off my antenna!

I can't get the
financial report!

The Pig: But Sir, you're not
supposed to watch that.

You're supposed
to get some rest.

Cyril: Rest?! How can I rest
with all this quiet?!

This silence is
driving me crazy!

[alarm ringing]

If it wasn't for
those pesky Raccoons,

I'd be a well man today!

The Pig: Now, calm down, Sir.
Remember what the doctor said,

'Don't even think about them!'

Cyril: Ugh!

Don't worry about me.
I'm steady as a rock!

[shaking]

Bert: Boy, this unpacking
sure works up an appetite.

Huh, let's eat!

Cedric: Yeah, I'm starved.

What's for lunch?

Ralph: The specialty
of the house! What
else?

Ralph/Bert: Beans!

Bert: Yahoooo!

Let me at 'em!
[laughing]

Cedric: That's it? Just beans?

Bert: I can see
you've got a lot to learn

about roughing it with the boys.

Who's got the can opener?

Ralph: I thought
you packed it.

Bert: Aah, we don't
need a can opener.

We're tough. I'll
just use it rock.

[bang-bang]

[splat!]

Cedric: I see, you have
a lot to learn about

the fine art of cuisine.

You could have at least
heated them up.

Bert: Aaaah,
this is the life!

No cares, no worries..

Cedric: And no food.

Ralph: Now let's get to work,

and make this place ship-shape!

Cyril: Well...maybe
the doctor was right.

Maybe I do need a break?

Aaaah! This isn't
so bad after all.

The Pig: We knew,
you'd like it, Sir.

Cyril: A man can really
get in touch with himself.

[yawns]

I feel like I'm one
with nature already.

Nothing here but peace,

solitude, fresh air,

[yawns] cable TV...

Hey, you, bring that
umbrella back here!

What are you trying to do?
Turn me purple?!

The Pig: Yes, Sir.
I mean, no, Sir.

So beautiful, so restful,

so quiet you can hear
a...

[distant hammering]

What in blazes is
all that racket?

Sounds like a
carpenters convention!

The Pig: Calm down, Sir.

Cyril: Somebody's
building condos up here

without my permission!

The Pig: Shall we
check it out, Sir?

Cyril: Now, that's a good idea!

Of course I want you to check
it out, you nincompoops!

Why do you think I pay
you that fancy salary?

The Pigs: But we've
never been paid!

Cyril: The check's in the mail!

And so will you be,
if you don't get going!

♪♪

Cedric: Huh, that
doesn't look half bad.

Bert: Hey Cedric, you're
catching on real quick!

You're gonna make a
great member of the club.

Cedric: I can hardly wait.

♪ [ominous music]

So, when do we go to the
haunted house, Ralph?

Ralph: As soon as it gets dark.

Um, Bert, do you think,
it might be too scary?

Bert: Scary? Huh! Nah!

We're tough!

The Pig 1: Why, it's those
pesky Raccoons again!

The Pig 2:
The boss is gonna flip!

Why, his blood pressure will
go right through the roof!

The Pig 1: And they're
going to the haunted house!

Are you thinking,
what I'm thinking?

The Pig 3: We can take
care of this ourselves.

The Pigs: [giggling]

Oh, goodie, goodie!

[evil giggling]

[eerie

[eerie animal

[eerie animal sounds]

[gentle splashing]

Ralph: Well, Cedric,

those beans ought to
hold you 'til morning.

Cedric: They'll
hold me for a month.

Bert: Ah, it's a good thing
there's a full moon,

so we can find our way.

Cedric: [gulps]
Full moon!?

D-di-din't you say,
you were kidding

about ghosts coming out

when there's a full moon?

Ralph: Bert was just saying
that to scare the girls.

Listen, Cedric, you don't
have to stay here tonight,

if you don't want to.

We'll understand.

And you can still join the club.

Bert: Yeah, great idea.

[loud splashing]

Cedric: No!!
Bert: No?

Cedric: No! This
is important to me.

I'm going to go
through with this.

I'm going to sleep in the
haunted house tonight.

[creepy howling]

♪

♪ [suspenseful

♪ [suspenseful music]

Bert: A-aah! This
isn't so bad after all.

[nervous giggle]

At least there's
no thunderstorms.

[bat squeals]
Yiiiikes!

Cedric: W-wh-what was that?

Ralph: Come on, it's just a bat.

You guys are acting
like a bunch of sissies.

[scary sounds]

Bert: I knew we shouldn't
have gone out on a full moon.

♪♪

[door squeaks]

♪♪

[rats sqeaking]

♪♪
[floor squeaking]

♪♪

[loud slam!]
All: [gasp!]

[scary sounds]

Bert: A-a-aah!

[relieved]
Ooh...it was...just the wind.

[giggle]

A-aa-aaah!

Yiiiike!

[howling]

All: [screaming in horror]

Auuuuuh!

[loud slam!]

♪ [dramatic music]

All: [screaming in horror]

Bert: Aaaaaaaah!

Ralph: Uaaaa!

Bert: Uh-uh-uh-uuuh!
Aa-ah! Uh-ah!

♪ [frantic music]

Yiiiiiikes!

[boing-boing]

Ralph: [screaming in horror]

♪♪

Cedric: Oh-ouuuuh!

♪♪

[bones rattling]

Ralph: Uuuuuuh!

♪♪

The Pig: [giggling]

♪♪

Bert: [screaming in horror]

[crashing]

Ya-yeoooh!

[ghost-like moaning]

♪♪

[bam!]

[clang!]

[ghost-like moaning]

Ralph: Yiiiikes!

♪♪

[thud!]

Bert: Ralph?!

Ralph: [whispers]
Bert, is that you?

[ghost-like moaning]

[thud!]
Cedric: Oww!

Ralph/Bert:
[whisper] Cedric?!

The Pigs: [giggling]

The Pig 1: Hey!
Where did they go?

The Pig 2: I think we scared
them clear across the lake.

[laughs]

The Pig 3: Boy,
we sure showed them.

The Pigs: [laughing]

The Pig 2: They couldn't
run away fast enough!

The Pig 1: Wait till
the boss hears about this.

We'll probably get a raise.

The Pigs: [laughing]

[door squeaks loudly]

The Pig 1: Hey!!

Uh-uhmm..

It was just the wind.

[terrible moaning]

The Pigs: [screaming in horror]

[screaming]

Oink-oink!
[splash!]

Uaaaah!
[splash!]

[splash!]

Melissa/Sophia: [giggling]

Melissa: I knew
it would be a good idea

to bring Bert his moose horn.

Let's go find out how our
big tough guys are doing.

Sophia: Gee, I hope
they're all right.

Maybe we shouldn't have let
them go out by themselves.

You know how defenseless
they can be.

Bert: There haven't been
any noises lately.

Do you think the
ghosts have gone away?

Cedric: Yeah, I th-think
the c-coast is clear.

Melissa: Quick,
Sophia, down here.

Cedric: I'm stuck in a
dungeon in a haunted house,

and I'm never going
to see Sophia again.

Ralph: I'm sorry guys,
it's all my fault.

If only the girls were here,

we wouldn't be in this mess.

Bert: Yeah, I'd even
let them join the club.

Cedric: Yeah, I'd even teach
them the secret handshake.

Ralph: Yeah, and no initiation.

Melissa: Do you mean that?

Boys: What was that?

Ralph: Melissa?
Cedric: Sophia?

Bert: What are you doing here?

Melissa: Well, someone
had to take care of you.

Ralph: Boy, are we
ever glad to see you.

Melissa: Here, grab onto
this and we'll pull you up.

Bert: Gee, thanks.

We were expecting you all along.

Melissa: Oh, Bert!

♪

Cyril: Where's my hot milk?

What kind of service is this
around here anyway?

Those Pigs know I can't
sleep without my hot milk!

When I get my hands on them,
I'll, I'll, I'll,

I'll take the curl
out of their tails!

Cedric: Did you bring me
anything special, Sofia?

Sophia: Ohh yes, Cedric!

Bert: Great. What is it?
Peanut butter?

Melissa: Even better, Bert!

Cedric: Chocolate pudding?

Sophia: No. Something
you boys, would really enjoy.

Beans!

Ralph: Beans!?

Bert: [laughs]

Boys: [laughing]

All: [laughing]

Sophia: Hey Melissa, let's try
that secret handshake again.

Ralph: I've got a better idea.

Let's all try it together.

[distant laughter]

[chanting] Rub your
belly in linseed oil,

Wrap your head in
aluminum foil...

♪ [gentle music]

Dan: And as the two
frightened hikers

ran from the haunted house,

the front door mysteriously
closed behind them.

Time for bed, kids.

[rattling sound]
Schaeffer: [muffled barking]

Tommy: Aaaah!

Broo: [playful barking]

Rrrrr!

Julie: [giggles]

It's just Schaeffer, Tommy!

Honestly, boys sometimes...

[laughter]

Narrator: That night,
Melissa and Sophia

taught Ralph, Bert and Cedric

a valuable lesson
in the wilderness.

It's not what's on the outside,

it's what's on the
inside that counts.

Whether you're talking about
ghosts or friends,

you can't judge a book
by its cover.

♪♪

♪

♪ [show

♪ [show theme

♪ [show theme music]

♪♪

♪ Ooooooh

♪♪

♪ You can run with us

♪♪

♪ We've got
everything you need ♪

♪♪

♪ Run with us

♪ We are free

♪♪

♪ Come with us

♪♪

♪ I see passion in your eyes

♪♪

♪ Run with us

♪♪

♪ Oh-oh-oooh, run with us

♪♪

♪ We've got everything
you need ♪

♪♪