01x29 - Shipment to Beirut

[bunniefuu]

[ Guests chattering ]

[ Crystals chime ]

This is one of our
latest creations.

I'm sure you'll
find it quite smart.

Smart?

Yes yes,
it is smart.

I got here
as soon as I could.

You did?
That's nice.

Now this gown sells
for only $886.

- 800 And what?
- 86.

-Gotcha.
- it's a real bargain.

May I suggest
you buy it?

- I'll take it.
- You will?

Yes, and your country is
indebted to you for this.

I went through
every inch of it

And there are no hidden
plans in this gown.

Max, you've spent over 800

Of the department's money
for nothing!

Well, that's strange,
chief.

This girl phoned me
and told me she worked
as a model at richelieu's

And that she had
information concerning

The stolen plans for the new
supersonic bomber.

- And she wouldn't
give you her name?
- She wouldn't even tell me

What she looked like.
She said she'd know me.

I must have spoken
to the wrong model.
I'd better go back.

Well, all right,
just be sure that
if you buy anything

- It absolutely must
contain the stolen plans!
- right, chief.

You want me to take
this gown back and see
if I can exchange it?

- They'd never
exchange that, max.
- Oh.

Well, maybe I can tell them
that when I opened the box

The goods were damaged.

Mr. Richelieu spent a long
time planning this gown.

It's his super creation.

Planning sup--
good good.

notice the low-cut front.
when a woman wears this,

Everywhere she goes
she'll create chaos.

Kaos.i read you
loud and clear.

It's really
beautifully made.

You'd be surprised
at what went into this gown.

I'll take it.

The cost is $1400.

I'll personally see

That you get a citation
from the president for this.

That's $2260.

You've just broken

The all-time
shopping record.

I don't understand,
chief.

Everything that model said

Sounded like the plans
were hidden in this gown.

Forget it , max, you're
barking up the wrong tree.

I don't think so, chief.

Let's look at
the situation calmly.

Now we know that kaos
has the stolen plans

And we also know that
richelieu has been

Tied in with kaos
for a long time now.

Now add this to the telephone
call I received from the model
and it all adds up.

Look, chief, why don't
you give me another chance?

Let me go back to the store
and I promise you I won't
buy another thing.

Well, all right.
But this is the last time.

Now remember, now that we know
that kaos is in possession
of the stolen plans,

What we have to find out
is how they intend

To smuggle them
out of the country and when.

Yes well, what you're
saying, chief, is

That now that we know how,

All we have to do is find out
who, when and where.

No, forget about where.
When we find out how,
we'll know where.

Well, how will how
tell us where?

If it's going by boat,
it's probably going

To richelieu's
salon in beirut,
which is a seaport.

If it's going by plane,
it'll probably go

To his salon in damascus.
You understand?

Yes, I understand, chief,
but I don't think I quite
agree with you.

You see, all you've told
me is that we know how,

But we don't know
who, when or where.

So that tells us
that we don't know
anything.

What?

Well, we know who
and that doesn't tell us when

So why should how
tell us where?

Max, you're
driving me crazy.

How?

- Don't say that word!
- Why?

Would you like me
to model this outfit
for you, sir?

I don't think so.
I don't look too good
in knickers.

What kept you, mr. Smart?
I phoned you hours ago.

- You're the one?
- Yes.my name is
mildred spencer.

I think they're onto me
and my life may be in danger,
so listen carefully.

The stolen plans
are here in the salon.

Do you have any idea how
they intend to smuggle them
out of the country?

Pretend to be interested
in this outfit

And I'll tell you
how, when and where.

Never mind where,
just tell me how and when.

How will tell me where,
now that we know who.

Suppose we concentrate
on how.

What?

Don't give me any new words.
We're working on how.

Just how is kaos
going to get those plans
out of the country?

[ clicking ]

[ Clicks ]

I'll have to
change my clothes.
I'll be right back.

You go ahead.
While you're doing that
I'll contact headquarters

- And order an m-4.
- What's an m-4?

A complete
mobilization raid.

I'll have every
available control agent

Swarming over this place
within 10 minutes.

Don't worry, miss spencer,
with maxwell smart on the job

You're life is
in no danger at all.

[ Shatters ]

[ Clicking ]

[ theme music playing ]

I beg your pardon,
monsieur,

But I have noticed
you standing here

For some time now.
Could I be of some help?

Uh, no, thank you, i--

I'm just waiting for my wife.
We're going to buy
a couple of dresses.

Eh, she's going to buy
a couple of dresses.

- [ tires screeching ]
- oh, I see.

That may be her
coming now.

[ loud crash ]

Yes, that's her.
She just parked.

Excuse me.

Everybody stay
right where you are.
This is a government raid.

- [ Woman screams ]
- chief, what took
you so long?

We tried to surround
the building,

But some numbskull
parked his car in the alley
and took the keys.

Oh, well here, give this
to one of the men and have
them move it.

Larrabee.

I hope you know what you're
doing, max, ordering an m-4.

An all-out mobilization
raid like this costs
the department a fortune.

Well, it's well worth it,
chief. I'm about to crack
this case wide open.

The model told me
that the stolen plans are
right here in the salon.

- Did she say where?
- Well no, she didn't
have a chance to.

She was called away.
That was 30 minutes ago
and she hasn't returned yet.

She went right
through those drapes.

- Let's go in there.
- Come on, men, follow me.

No!you must
not go in there.

- Oh, and why not?
- It is the models'
dressing room.

All the girls
are undressed.

Hold it!
Hold it!hold it!

Just a minute.

I'm surprised
at you men.

After all, you are
control agents.

Now let's just line up
here in single file,

Tallest man in the rear.
And remember, I was here first.

Chief, I think you're
a little taller than I am,

So you can stand
right about here.

Max!

You men go back to your
positions and don't let anyone
in or out of this place.



- [ Women scream ]
- now there's no need
to be alarmed, ladies,

- Just stay right
where you are.
- And don't anybody move.

You moved.

That's better.

All right, max,
which one is she?

She isn't here.

Our apologies for this
interruption, ladies.

I should think so.

Max!

Perhaps, if you gentlemen
would be good enough

To tell me
who you are looking for,
I could be of assistance.

We're looking for one
of your models, richelieu.

She modeled a gown for me
earlier and now she seems
to have disappeared.

Oh, you must mean
mademoiselle spencer.

That's it, chief.
That's the girl, spencer.

How unfortunate.
She received an urgent
telephone call,

Had to catch
a flight immediately.

Death in the family,
I believe.

That's funny.
She didn't--

Wait a minute.

Had to leave immediately, eh?

Then what do you call this?
That's her, chief.

Max, that's a--
a mannequin.

Don't be ridiculous,
chief.

The girl is just
paralyzed with fear.

Come on out of there,
miss spencer.

Come on, don't be afraid.
Come on out.

Oh, sorry about that.

Chief, it is a mannequin,
but it looks exactly like her.
It is her, chief.

Max, it's a mannequin,
a dummy!

But she called me
on the phone!

This mannequin
telephoned you?

Yes.

Well, the mannequin didn't
phone me, but the model did.

Please, max, don't
make it any worse.

I'm terribly sorry
for this inconvenience,
mr. Richelieu.

- If there's
anything I can do--
- there certainly is.

You can remove your troops
from my premises immediately

And the next time
he desires to have
a hallucination,

See to it that he has
it in some sanitarium.

Just what do you suppose
he was getting at, chief?

Max, you've been
working too hard.

Why don't you check in
for a series of tests?

Tests?i don't need
any tests, chief.

Besides, I'm in
the middle of a case.

I can't take out time
to go out and take
a lot of silly tests.

There is no case
for you anymore, max.

I'm gonna have to remove
you from active duty and put
you behind a desk,

- At least until I can explain
this to the department.
- Explain what?

How you ordered an all-out
mobilization raid

Based on information
supplied to you
by a mannequin!

But, chief, you can
back my story up.

You don't really believe
that I actually had

A conversation
with a mannequin!

Are you coming, max?

don't worry,
i'll straighten everything out.

You just stay right here.

Luchek, you're a fool!

I told you to hide her
in the store room where
nobody would find her.

There was no time.
I was barely able
to spray her

With the plastic solution
and turn her into a mannequin
before they arrived.

- Is she dead yet?
- Most definitely.

The solution hardens
in 20 minutes.

Contact my salon
in beirut.

Inform them there will be
a delay in our plans.

oh yes, to ease
their disappointment,

- Tell them the good news.
- What good news?

That maxwell smart
is no longer an active
control agent.

Oh, max,
I'm terribly sorry
that I had to be the one

To come and collect
your equipment.

Is that everything?

Everything except
my shoe phone and I'm
not giving that up.

I still have three
message units left on it.


Understand it.

That girl knew richelieu
had the stolen plans

And somehow she discovered
how he intended to smuggle
them out of the country.

And before she could
tell you they turned
her into a mannequin.

- But how, max?
- I don't know.

Max, whatever secret
she discovered is still
hidden in the salon.

Now with her gone
they're gonna need
another model.

Supposing
I take the job.

- You?
- Well, what's
so surprising?

I was a high-fashion
model before I became
an agent at control.

Watch.

Well?

Well, I don't know
what you're selling, 99,
but I'll take two of each.

I know the man that supplies
the models to richelieu.

He can get me the job.

No.no, 99.

I can't let you do it.
It's too risky.

No, it's out
of the question.

And there's nothing that
you can say or do that will
make me change my mind.

That's final,
that settles it,
that is it!

- But, max, I want to.
- Okay.

Good.i'll find out
how they're getting
the plans out.

Now wait a minute, 99.

We know who and why.

Now all we have to do
is find out where and when.

So let's forget about
how for now.

Good thinking...
I think.

Uh, how are we gonna
contact each other?

Oh, well, use my
communication
devices, look.

Now this looks like
an ordinary spray
cologne bottle, right?

But actually it's
a high-frequency
transmitter.

You push it down to talk,
you release it to receive.

Now this lipstick
is a homing device

That sends out
radar signals

And this
hairbrush is actually
a .32-caliber revolver.

Just brush three strokes
and then it fires.

Here, you take it.
I have others.

Wait a minute, 99.

I can't go walking
around town carrying
a lady's purse.

Oh, you're right,
of course.

Besides, it clashes
with my blue shirt.

Snap it up, dear.
Richelieu absolutely flips

If you keep customers
waiting.

Oh, i-- I'll be along
in just a minute.

This is 99
calling 86.

Come in, 86.

Come in, 86.

Max, please come in.

Hello, 99.
This is 86.

Max, what kept you
so long?

I've been having
a little trouble

With your cologne phone.

Every time I press down,
it sprays me in the face.

That's to conceal
its true purpose.

I'm aware of that, 99.

What's been happening
with you?i haven't heard
anything from you

Since you've
been on the job.
Are you all right?

Richelieu's
latest creations

Are not going
to be shown here.

They've been packed
and slated for shipment

To beirut tonight, max.

And listen, you were right
about that model,

But I can't talk now, max.
I've got to see you
right away.

I'll be right over.

Oh, and max,

Wear a black suit,
a black bowler

And carry
a black umbrella.

There's a male mannequin
on display here

That's dressed
just like that.

I can hide it
and then you can take
its place in the display.

Then later on
after the shop closes, we can

Sneak into the store room
and take a look at
those dresses.

Good idea, 99.

And just so nobody will
recognize me,

I'll disguise my face.

But max, if you
disguise your face,
how will I recognize you?

Just look for a man
who smells like a woman.

Why are you not out there
with the others?

Oh, um, I just forgot
my compact.

Something wrong?

I'm not sure.

There is something
about that model
that disturbs me.

Well, the results
of her security check

Should be here
at any moment

And to be
on the safe side

I've prepared
some fresh solution
of the plastic spray.

[ Whispers ]
max.

[ Sniffs ]

Max?

Yes, it's me, 99.

Oh, max, you look
absolutely dashing!

You like it, huh?

Oh, I'd love to see you
in that type of clothes
more often.

You look so worldly
and dignified.

Yes, well, I've always
felt that I was--


Stop discussing my wardrobe?

Come over here
and tell me what
you've found out.

Right.
Listen, max,

We can definitely prove
that you were not talking
to a mannequin.

That girl was alive.
But she knew too much,

So they sprayed
her with a plastic
cement solution

That hardens
in 20 minutes,

That smothers the pores
and causes death
by suffocation.

That's incredible, 99!
How did you find out?

I overheard luchek
and richelieu talking.

Did you hear them
say anything about the plans
for the supersonic bomber?

No, but I'll bet you
anything it's tied up

- With that dress shipment.
- Why do you say that?

Because of the way they're
guarding those cartons
in the store room.

- They won't let
anyone near them.
- Still, 99,

We can't
confiscate that shipment
until we find out

How those plans
are being smuggled out
in those dresses.

Beirut!
They're going
to beirut.

Yes, well--
so what?

Didn't you say
if we knew how,
we'd know where?

Well, now that we
know where, doesn't it
work in the reverse

And tell us how?

I said that?


A long hard case.

- Please don't confuse me.
- [ door opens ]

Max, look.

They're closing up, max.
I didn't realize
it was so late.

Quick, you get
in the display and
I'll hide the mannequin.

Aha!i see

The new rainwear display
is completed.

It's most striking.

I wonder why hilda
has left the male mannequin

With the umbrella
unopened.

Luchek:
it must be
a waterproof suit.

I must compliment hilda.
Where is she?

In the basement.
She went to turn
the switch on

For the special effects
to make sure the display
is working properly.

Ah, you see?
The effect of lightning

As would accompany
a thunderstorm.

Most creative.

Luchek, has the shipment
been placed on the truck?

Yes, and the truck
is on its way to
the air terminal.

Richelieu:
well, luchek,

it won't be
long now before we are
on the midnight plane

to beirut
with the dresses,

Or should I say
the plans?

You are a genius,
richelieu.

To think of transferring
the plans to microthread

And then using
the microthread
to seam the dresses--

it's brilliant.

with this method,
we can continue to smuggle

all the vital information
we can get out hands on.

Well, luchek, we still have
a short time.

There's a bottle
of champagne in my office.

Open it and we'll drink
a toast to our success.

A splendid suggestion,
richelieu.

Did you like it,
mr. Richelieu?

Hilda, I must compliment you
on your magnificent display.

- Hilda, look.
- What is it?

That mannequin
is soaking wet.

I thought the suit
was waterproof.

No no, someone
must have tampered
with his umbrella.

It was supposed to be
open over his head.

well, change
those wet clothes
for some dry ones.

right away.
you know, it's strange.

I don't recall
having a mannequin
with a beard in stock.

- Richelieu.
- That would be all, hilda.

That new model--
I just caught her

- Trying to break
into the store room.
- The store room.

Evidently she's been
placed there by control.

- She must be
silenced immediately.
- I've already seen to it.

I knocked her unconscious
and sprayed her with
the plastic solution.

- She'll be dead
in 20 minutes.
- excellent.

we leave for the airport
immediately.

We'll take the dresses
on an earlier flight
to beirut.

[ door closes ]

Hello, chief?
This is 86.

Now listen,
and listen carefully.

I want you to get
right out to the airport

And pick up
richelieu and his g*ng

And confiscate
the shipment of dresses
destined for beirut.

Now listen closely,
chief.

The dresses are sewn together
with microthread

Which contain
the stolen plans.

No, chief,
I haven't been talking
to any more mannequins,

But if I don't hurry,


I had a feeling
I had left

Some unfinished business,
mr. Smart.

You'd better hurry
or you'll miss your
plane, luchek.

I'll be on my way
as soon as I take care
of you, mr. Smart.

Oh, don't worry about me.
I'll be all right.

I know.

Before you do that,
I'd like to ask

- One last favor.
- What is it?

Well, I know this is
gonna sound a little vain,

But could I
brush my hair?

As long as I'm
going to be a statue,
I'd like to look nice.

[ Laughs ]

Go ahead.
I hate a messy corpse.

i'll give you
five seconds.

- [ g*nsh*t ]
- [ groans ]



Poor devils,
they've all been sprayed.



Still got
a few minutes.

But how am I gonna
melt the plastic?

Heat.
That's it, heat.

I've gotta get you
to someplace that's hot.

It's right in here, sir.
I couldn't stop him.

He threatened me
with a hairbrush.

I could get
my license taken away
for something like this.

- Oh, chief.
- 99, What's going on?

Max brought me here
to melt me down.

To what?

Oh, I can't explain now.
There's no time.

That's a lady!

This is
a men's steam bath,
and she's a lady!

Would somebody please tell
me what's going on!

Look.

[ steam hissing ]

You've gotta warm up.
Come on, everybody, warm up.

Sorry about that.

Come on, warm up.
You've gotta melt.

All of your, come on.
Warm up. Warm up.

You've gotta melt
it's not too late
for any of you.

Come on now, warm up.

It's a little late
for you.

Warm up, come on.

Absolutely and totally
inexcusable.

And both of you
are guilty

Of willfully disregarding
control regulations.

You, 99--
for entering into a case

Which you are not
officially assigned to.

I'm sorry, chief.
I was just trying
to help max.

That's right, chief.
She was just trying
to help max.

I can hear.
And you, 86--

Who gave you permission
to remain on that case?

You were temporarily
removed from active duty.

Well, chief, if I waited
for you to reinstate me,


The rest of her life

As a dummy
in a store window.

Well, I hope I've made
myself clear.

And now that
I've officially
reprimanded you,

I'd like to unofficially
congratulate you.

You both did
an excellent job

On a most difficult
and dangerous case.

Thank you, chief.

And max, you are
returned to active duty
as of now.

Thank you, chief.

Oh, and one more thing--
you were wrong about where.

- I was wrong about what?
- Not what, where.

You see, knowing
how the shipment was sent

Didn't tell us who,
it only told us why.

What's he
talking about?

How and when
didn't tell us
what and where.

You too?

It's simple.
When we knew what
and how,

We should have known
when and where.

No, why and who
told us when and where.

That's right.
And how and what...

[ theme music playing ]