03x49 - Legends of the Paul
Posted: 02/29/24 15:56
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
Chef: Gather 'round, kids!
Today's a very special day!
Today's the last day of Paul's hundred year timeout!
(Click, whirs open)
(Blows party favour)
- You had years to plan a celebration
and that was it?
- (Spits) Yep.
Oh darn, I probably should've done that in front of Paul.
Oh well...
(Marker squeaks) - PAUL!!!
- Owwww! My lumbago!
- Your timeout is over. You're free.
- Free? But-Where will I go?
- Not my problem. Hope you enjoyed your stay.
I'll show you out.
Enjoy your gift bag. Buh-bye now.
(Door slams) - Okay, Paul, you can do this.
I'm sure not much has changed in the past years.
(Whirring)
♪♪♪
AHHH! ROBOTS!
The floor is eating the stairs!
Ahhh! This toilet is taking pictures of me!
- (Banging) Sir! SIR!
That is not a bathroom!
- This new world is scary.
How will I survive on my own?
Where will I live?
Who will spoon pudding into my mouth
while I sleep all day?
Beth: I can't believe Paul got a year timeout.
- Oh yeah, he's a living legend.
The only kid in history to get a year timeout
for his shenanigans.
- He must've been the biggest troublemaker ever.
- Take that back! - Back it up, Bucko.
Owen's right.
What's the longest timeout you ever got?!
- Pfft. Duncan's never gotten more than minutes.
Laaame.
- What is happening right now? You know me!
I'm the Prince of Pranks!
The Duke of Destruction!
The King of Chaos!
- Nuh uh. Sorry, Duncan,
but your worst shenanigan is chicken feed
compared to Paul's BIG ONE.
- How DARE you!
What'd Paul do that was so amazing anyway?!
- I don't actually know. And I don't want to!
There's a ledger tucked away in my office
that has the details of every timeout
ever given at this daycare
but I haven't read Paul's page.
Legend has it, every teacher who read the details
of Paul's epic shenanigan
came down with the brain wobbles
and had to be sent to a special island!
(Wings flutter)
(Bird sings)
- It's Paul! How did he find us?!
- Aaaaaahhh!
All: Whoooooooa...
Come on, no prank can be that good,
otherwise I'd have already done it!
Hey, it's okay that Paul is better at sha-gag-anins
than you.
- Don't be so hard on yourself, your pranks are still cute.
- CUTE?!!!!
- Chill, sweet cheeks.
Not everyone can be a legendary bad boy, like Paul.
- No way am I letting that old fart steal my status!
I just need to find out what Paul did
to get that year timeout and OUTDO IT.
I should be the legend, NOT HIM!
♪♪♪
Any second now and that timeout ledger's mine.
(Clicks)
WHOA. A safe inside a safe?
This ledger must be epic!
This is it. YES!
Time to find out what Paul did, top it,
and become the legend I rightfully deserve to--
WHAT?! - A-HEM!!!
You just earned yourself an unremarkable
minute timeout, buster. - Laaame.
- Now the only way I'll learn what Paul did
to get that year timeout is from Paul himself.
- If can find him.
Ow! Please. I'm so hungry!
Oh, OUCH!
Ow-oh I miss my timeout corner.
Aw, son of a monkey.
- (Sighs) I'll never find him.
He could be anywhere.
Probably off having the best time he's ever--
- Ahhhhhhh- - Owwww! OOOOF!
- PAUL! I'm so glad I found you.
- (Spits) When did pigeons get so violent?!
- I don't understand that question,
so I'm moving on.
Look, I know you were really something back in the day,
and uh, I'm a bit of a trouble maker myself,
so I was wondering if maybe uh, you'd tell me your secret.
- I pooped in a photo booth today.
- What?! NO, DUDE!
I meant what you did to get that year timeout.
Please, I'll do anything if you tell me.
ANYTHING.
- This kid is my ticket back inside.
- Well, since I got no kids of my own,
I'm willing to teach you how to be a real mischief-maker.
- Yeah, I'm not really looking for an intro class,
I just need to know what the prank was
that earned you that massive timeout.
I can't just tell you the greatest shenanigan
ever pulled!
Your mind would snap like an overloaded wagon
on a corduroy road!
Who makes roads out of pants?!
Just tell me how you got the timeout?!
- Hey! It's my way or the highway.
- Ugggh! Fiiine!
- Good. And I only do school-based shenanigans,
so you'll need to sneak me back into the daycare.
- (Huffs) Sure. Whatever.
Let's find you a disguise at the local thrift store.
Okay, let's see how you look.
- (Groans) Too gnarly.
Oh! Too adorable.
Oh, too poopy.
(Cheerful) It's perfect!
- Dude, no one's gonna believe you're a kid
just because you have a propeller beanie.
Those things went out of fashion a century ago.
- It'll work fine,
and fashion is cyclical,
for your information!
- (reads) "As they made their way up river
to find the Colonel, Willard knew this was
no ordinary mission, and he-- (Door opens)
Duncan, where've you-- Who's that with you?
Uh, new student. His name is Paul--
Notpaul! Nepal. Napoleon!
That's his name. Napoleon.
You look familiar, Napoleon. And old.
- Oh, really?
Would an old person wear a hat like this?
(Whooshes)
- Mmm. Good point.
Welcome to our daycare Napoleon.
- Okay, your dumb hat worked.
Now will you tell me about (whispers) the Big One!
- Slow down your rolling.
I need to teach you to walk
before I teach you to get the runs.
- You are horrible at expressions.
- Either way, if you wanna learn the BIG ONE
you gotta start with the small ones.
Your first shenanigan is one I call
the "Exploding Bowl Troll".
- Hah! Child's play.
- I recommend stall number .
- Ooooh! That's my favourite.
(Toilet flushes)
(expl*si*n) Owen: Ahhhhh!
- I call this one The Plummeting Pail of Porcupine!
Can you handle it?
- Yawn. In my sleep, grandpa.
(Nonchalant whistling)
(Bucket thuds) - AHHHH!
WHO DID THIS?!
Paul: This one is spring-training
for the big leagues, son.
Behold the Snake Snack Attack!
- Seriously? Is this amateur hour?
One Snake Snack Attack coming up.
Beth: Who turned out the lights? Hello?
Helllloo?
- Nope. I am done with the appetizers, Paul.
I'm ready for the BIG ONE and you know it!
- Ho-ho-ho. Well then...
let's talk about the big one.
It's called ding dong dash!
- Wait. What? Ding dong dash?
That's the BIG ONE?!
I was pulling that prank when I was a baby!
- Sure, everyone's dinged donged dashed,
but not like me!
The trick is to keep doing it.
Again and AGAIN and AGAINN!
People started questioning reality.
They were all,
"But I heard the bell and no one is there,
but if I can't trust my ears and eyes...
we have ghost people!
We must throw all animals into the well."
(Laughs, then coughs)
it was epic.
- THAT is what made Paul a legend?! Lame.
It is gonna be SO easy to top that.
I know you're the legend,
but what if we modernize your prank
with a little bit of Duncan magic.
There!
The backhoe drills holes all around the perimeter...
space military rockets to fill the holes...
a truckload of highly expl*sive firecrackers for Chef's car...
and finally a cake.
Whaddya think of that? á
- Oh, this kid is the Leonardo Da Vinci of shenanigans
and this could earn a timeout to end all timeouts!
- This prank will show everyone
that I am the true legend,
and Paul will be totally forgotten.
Hahahahahaha.
- Hehehehehehe.
- Okay, all the firecrackers are loaded into the car.
We are good to go on Operation BIGGER ONE!
(Doorbell rings)
- Oooh! Free Door Cake!
Niiice. (Mechanical click)
That's weird. Cakes don't click.
(Rockets whoosh)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Oh, hello.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
(Loud crash, expl*si*n)
(Firework pop and whistle)
Fireworks!
(Gasps) This was a shenanigan!
Whoever did this is gettin' a year timeout!
Chef, I am proud to say the person responsible
for all this is-- Paul: ME!
- Napoleon! Why did you--
- (Gasps) PAUL!
Of course it was you!
Back to the time out corner!
- Woohoohoohoo! - WHA-WAIT!
But I did it! It was ME!
- Nope. NUH-UH.
This has Paul written alllll over it.
- That was epic.
Paul is even more of a legend, now.
A year timeout?
No one will EVER top that!
- But... but--
- Awe, don't be sad, Duncan.
You've been a very good boy today.
- (Sobbing)
It was me. Not him.
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
Chef: Gather 'round, kids!
Today's a very special day!
Today's the last day of Paul's hundred year timeout!
(Click, whirs open)
(Blows party favour)
- You had years to plan a celebration
and that was it?
- (Spits) Yep.
Oh darn, I probably should've done that in front of Paul.
Oh well...
(Marker squeaks) - PAUL!!!
- Owwww! My lumbago!
- Your timeout is over. You're free.
- Free? But-Where will I go?
- Not my problem. Hope you enjoyed your stay.
I'll show you out.
Enjoy your gift bag. Buh-bye now.
(Door slams) - Okay, Paul, you can do this.
I'm sure not much has changed in the past years.
(Whirring)
♪♪♪
AHHH! ROBOTS!
The floor is eating the stairs!
Ahhh! This toilet is taking pictures of me!
- (Banging) Sir! SIR!
That is not a bathroom!
- This new world is scary.
How will I survive on my own?
Where will I live?
Who will spoon pudding into my mouth
while I sleep all day?
Beth: I can't believe Paul got a year timeout.
- Oh yeah, he's a living legend.
The only kid in history to get a year timeout
for his shenanigans.
- He must've been the biggest troublemaker ever.
- Take that back! - Back it up, Bucko.
Owen's right.
What's the longest timeout you ever got?!
- Pfft. Duncan's never gotten more than minutes.
Laaame.
- What is happening right now? You know me!
I'm the Prince of Pranks!
The Duke of Destruction!
The King of Chaos!
- Nuh uh. Sorry, Duncan,
but your worst shenanigan is chicken feed
compared to Paul's BIG ONE.
- How DARE you!
What'd Paul do that was so amazing anyway?!
- I don't actually know. And I don't want to!
There's a ledger tucked away in my office
that has the details of every timeout
ever given at this daycare
but I haven't read Paul's page.
Legend has it, every teacher who read the details
of Paul's epic shenanigan
came down with the brain wobbles
and had to be sent to a special island!
(Wings flutter)
(Bird sings)
- It's Paul! How did he find us?!
- Aaaaaahhh!
All: Whoooooooa...
Come on, no prank can be that good,
otherwise I'd have already done it!
Hey, it's okay that Paul is better at sha-gag-anins
than you.
- Don't be so hard on yourself, your pranks are still cute.
- CUTE?!!!!
- Chill, sweet cheeks.
Not everyone can be a legendary bad boy, like Paul.
- No way am I letting that old fart steal my status!
I just need to find out what Paul did
to get that year timeout and OUTDO IT.
I should be the legend, NOT HIM!
♪♪♪
Any second now and that timeout ledger's mine.
(Clicks)
WHOA. A safe inside a safe?
This ledger must be epic!
This is it. YES!
Time to find out what Paul did, top it,
and become the legend I rightfully deserve to--
WHAT?! - A-HEM!!!
You just earned yourself an unremarkable
minute timeout, buster. - Laaame.
- Now the only way I'll learn what Paul did
to get that year timeout is from Paul himself.
- If can find him.
Ow! Please. I'm so hungry!
Oh, OUCH!
Ow-oh I miss my timeout corner.
Aw, son of a monkey.
- (Sighs) I'll never find him.
He could be anywhere.
Probably off having the best time he's ever--
- Ahhhhhhh- - Owwww! OOOOF!
- PAUL! I'm so glad I found you.
- (Spits) When did pigeons get so violent?!
- I don't understand that question,
so I'm moving on.
Look, I know you were really something back in the day,
and uh, I'm a bit of a trouble maker myself,
so I was wondering if maybe uh, you'd tell me your secret.
- I pooped in a photo booth today.
- What?! NO, DUDE!
I meant what you did to get that year timeout.
Please, I'll do anything if you tell me.
ANYTHING.
- This kid is my ticket back inside.
- Well, since I got no kids of my own,
I'm willing to teach you how to be a real mischief-maker.
- Yeah, I'm not really looking for an intro class,
I just need to know what the prank was
that earned you that massive timeout.
I can't just tell you the greatest shenanigan
ever pulled!
Your mind would snap like an overloaded wagon
on a corduroy road!
Who makes roads out of pants?!
Just tell me how you got the timeout?!
- Hey! It's my way or the highway.
- Ugggh! Fiiine!
- Good. And I only do school-based shenanigans,
so you'll need to sneak me back into the daycare.
- (Huffs) Sure. Whatever.
Let's find you a disguise at the local thrift store.
Okay, let's see how you look.
- (Groans) Too gnarly.
Oh! Too adorable.
Oh, too poopy.
(Cheerful) It's perfect!
- Dude, no one's gonna believe you're a kid
just because you have a propeller beanie.
Those things went out of fashion a century ago.
- It'll work fine,
and fashion is cyclical,
for your information!
- (reads) "As they made their way up river
to find the Colonel, Willard knew this was
no ordinary mission, and he-- (Door opens)
Duncan, where've you-- Who's that with you?
Uh, new student. His name is Paul--
Notpaul! Nepal. Napoleon!
That's his name. Napoleon.
You look familiar, Napoleon. And old.
- Oh, really?
Would an old person wear a hat like this?
(Whooshes)
- Mmm. Good point.
Welcome to our daycare Napoleon.
- Okay, your dumb hat worked.
Now will you tell me about (whispers) the Big One!
- Slow down your rolling.
I need to teach you to walk
before I teach you to get the runs.
- You are horrible at expressions.
- Either way, if you wanna learn the BIG ONE
you gotta start with the small ones.
Your first shenanigan is one I call
the "Exploding Bowl Troll".
- Hah! Child's play.
- I recommend stall number .
- Ooooh! That's my favourite.
(Toilet flushes)
(expl*si*n) Owen: Ahhhhh!
- I call this one The Plummeting Pail of Porcupine!
Can you handle it?
- Yawn. In my sleep, grandpa.
(Nonchalant whistling)
(Bucket thuds) - AHHHH!
WHO DID THIS?!
Paul: This one is spring-training
for the big leagues, son.
Behold the Snake Snack Attack!
- Seriously? Is this amateur hour?
One Snake Snack Attack coming up.
Beth: Who turned out the lights? Hello?
Helllloo?
- Nope. I am done with the appetizers, Paul.
I'm ready for the BIG ONE and you know it!
- Ho-ho-ho. Well then...
let's talk about the big one.
It's called ding dong dash!
- Wait. What? Ding dong dash?
That's the BIG ONE?!
I was pulling that prank when I was a baby!
- Sure, everyone's dinged donged dashed,
but not like me!
The trick is to keep doing it.
Again and AGAIN and AGAINN!
People started questioning reality.
They were all,
"But I heard the bell and no one is there,
but if I can't trust my ears and eyes...
we have ghost people!
We must throw all animals into the well."
(Laughs, then coughs)
it was epic.
- THAT is what made Paul a legend?! Lame.
It is gonna be SO easy to top that.
I know you're the legend,
but what if we modernize your prank
with a little bit of Duncan magic.
There!
The backhoe drills holes all around the perimeter...
space military rockets to fill the holes...
a truckload of highly expl*sive firecrackers for Chef's car...
and finally a cake.
Whaddya think of that? á
- Oh, this kid is the Leonardo Da Vinci of shenanigans
and this could earn a timeout to end all timeouts!
- This prank will show everyone
that I am the true legend,
and Paul will be totally forgotten.
Hahahahahaha.
- Hehehehehehe.
- Okay, all the firecrackers are loaded into the car.
We are good to go on Operation BIGGER ONE!
(Doorbell rings)
- Oooh! Free Door Cake!
Niiice. (Mechanical click)
That's weird. Cakes don't click.
(Rockets whoosh)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Oh, hello.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
(Loud crash, expl*si*n)
(Firework pop and whistle)
Fireworks!
(Gasps) This was a shenanigan!
Whoever did this is gettin' a year timeout!
Chef, I am proud to say the person responsible
for all this is-- Paul: ME!
- Napoleon! Why did you--
- (Gasps) PAUL!
Of course it was you!
Back to the time out corner!
- Woohoohoohoo! - WHA-WAIT!
But I did it! It was ME!
- Nope. NUH-UH.
This has Paul written alllll over it.
- That was epic.
Paul is even more of a legend, now.
A year timeout?
No one will EVER top that!
- But... but--
- Awe, don't be sad, Duncan.
You've been a very good boy today.
- (Sobbing)
It was me. Not him.
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪