03x16 - Dial B for Birder
Posted: 02/29/24 15:18
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
Chef: ♪ Ba-pada-baaaa! ♪
All: Whoa!
- Whoa! Nice Chef! Did you win the lottery?
- No. But close!
Last night I had dinner at The King Steak Outhouse.
Where if you eat the whole cow in minutes,
you become a king!
And I did it! (Applause)
- Cow stories are boring. Let's go, guys.
- WAIT, that's not all!
As I dragged myself home, I made a new friend.
Meet TOMMY OISEAU.
- (Squawk) Oiseau means bird in French!
All: AWWWWWW.
- He can talk?! I'm talking.
(Gasps) I'm a bird!
Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!
- (Sighs) I better lay out some newspaper for Izzy.
- Why y'all standin' around?
My show is about to start!
- Chef got a beautiful new parrot!
- A bird? That's the hold up?
Big dumb eyes and sharp gross feet.
- (Gasps) Cover your ears, Tommy!
Wait. He doesn't have ears.
- Incorrect!
Bird's have no external structure to their ears
which allows them to better hear
if a predator is above or below them!
- Hey Nerd-opedia, get back to the stage,
we gotta show to do!
- But Sugar, I wanna see the birdie.
(Growing growl, sizzles)
- Uh oh. She's overheating again!
And that stage looks flammable.
C'mon, let's go watch whatever it is
Sugar wants to bore us with.
(Country music plays)
- (Effort grunts)
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- WHOA! - Whoa is right!
Their eyeballs ain't never seen nothing like this!
- Um... Sugar?
- Aw. Look at my bird doing nothing.
- That bird's tryin' to show us up!
We gotta up our game.
Time to improvise!
-(Squawk) Harold's dancing was lit.
- Aw! Thanks, birdie!
- TIME FOR THE SWEET HEAT!
(Landing crush)
- Sugar, are you okay?!
- Uh huh, but I think I broke Harold's face bone!
- (Squawk) I broke Harold's face bone!
All: (Laughing)
- That's exactly how Sugar said it, Tommy.
Wow. You just made this show good!
- (Squawk) Yes. I did.
- Grrrrrr!
- Okay kids, sit tight as I get Harold to a doctor.
Good news, everyone!
Thanks to Harold's broken face bone
our next trip to the hospital is free!
- Can I draw on your cast?
- (Muffled protesting)
- Ooh! You want me to catch you first?
Okay! (Maniacal laugh)
(Muffled panic exclamation)
- Hm. Which amazing trick should I do for my next show?
- (Squawk) Give up! You're talentless!
(Both gasp)
- What? Tommmmm-y. Baaaaaad.
Okay, let me go get some snacks for you guys.
Tommy did a great job breaking it to Sugar.
A hard truth like that
is always better coming from a bird.
- Talentless? I hate that bird.
- There, alllll done! (Humming)
(Muffled talking)
- What?
- Did Izzy give me a silly face?
- No sillier than yer real one.
- Oh good.
- Yeah, Harold. Maybe when the cast comes off
you'll look completely different
and be a good looking kid. - Ouch.
- (Squawk) Cheffy want a Latte?
- Thanks Tommy! You are talented!
You even put chocolate sprinkles on top!
I hope they're sprinkles.
- You wanna see real talent?!
Twirl 'o whirl, y'all!
(Smash, mug shatters)
(Sizzles) (Harold gasps)
- Awww! My latte!
- Chef! Chef! That latte! You should look at--
- Tommy who is your best friend!
- Aw, Tommy. You truly are the most talented person
in this room.
- Can you believe that latte stunt?
I'll show him who's the most talented person in the room.
Time for me to do some banjo-in'.
I'm gunna make that parrot look like a turkey!
- (reads) "And then, against all odds,
the slow turtle won the race." The end!
- Whoa. I bet a lot of people lost serious money
on that race. (Twangy banjo solo)
- Agh. It's like a really bad sound that's loud.
(Delightful flute playing) - Wait.
There's a much better sound.
All: Awwwwww!
- (Smash) - Hey!
- There! I can hear Tommy's music better now.
- GRRRRRR!
- (Squawk) Join me, Chef.
- You want me to play the piano?
Okay! Count me in, Tommy.
I think my part is coming up! See?
- (Gasps)
(Muffled inaudible yelling)
♪♪♪
- (Gasps)
(Sing-screaming the final note) - Huh?
Sugar, you wrecked our perfect song!
(Weeps)
- And my perfect plan.
- (Weeping) Come on, kids.
- My next show's gonna be the biggest and bestest show ever!
You'll see!
(Beeping, hits note)
(expl*si*n)
Speak, spell voice: Is. Bird. Evil? Ouch!
(Electricity crackles)
(Flat doorbell mimic, bing bong!)
- Oh! Was that you, Tommy?
Solid doorbell impression.
Am I supposed to open the door?
Is there a surprise outside for me?
- Yes. And you'll be shocked.
- Okay then!
Sugar: SHOWTIME! - Huh?!
What my other shows was missin' was production value!
Not anymore!
(Loud Banjo tune) - Sugar! Turn that off! SUGAR!
- Chef, don't forget the bing bong.
Chef! Binggg! Bonggg!
- Okay, Tommy, okay.
(Spark sizzles)
- Are they supposed to do that?
- Okay, who could it be?
(Crackling)
(Poof! electricity hums, shuts off)
- No one's there.
Oh, Tommy, you practical joker!
Now I better go flip the breaker
and get the power back on.
(Jolt of electricity) - GAAAAAAAGH!
Something bad about Tommy
and I'm a butt to find out what.
I'm ABOUT to find out what.
(Siren wails)
- (Slurps) - Hey!
- (Spits)
- Show me everything you have on bird crimes!
- New plan. If I can't beat a bird,
Imma gonna eliminate it from the competition.
'Cause when something tries to steals my spotlight...
it gets got.
Hi everybody. Look how high I'm gettin'.
- Guys! Come see. I lost some teeths!
- Wow! Hey everybody, pay attention to Cody!
- WOW! - You look like a pumpkin!
- (Angry growl)
(Landing thud)
- I knew someday I'd be a sand castle.
- Uh huh. Nobody outshines Sugar,
or you end up in the grrround.
(Keys clack)
(Rope creaks)
- Ha. Hahaha.
- That bird's gotta go right MEOW! HISSS!
- Stray cat! Lookout, Tommy!
(Heavy thud) WHOA.
- Ugh. Why's this so hard.
Speak, spell voice: (reading) Rich man in coma
after eating poison crackers.
Affluent woman nearly drowns in bird bath.
In every case, a wealthy victim
owned a parrot that went missing
and their bank accounts were emptied!
- (Gasp) Hold on, there's also surveillance footage
I forgot to look at from the bank.
(Beep, click)
(Wings flap, money clinks)
Speak, spell voice: That bird is Tommy!
- That is one bad bird!
(Gator roars)
- (Squawk) Tommy wants a cr*cker!
- Okay! Here I come, Tomm--
Oops. Forgot the crackers!
- Got you now!
- (Snarling)
- Oh please. This ain't my first gator pit dance!
(Kicking thuds, pained grunts)
(Scared squawk) - You're next bird!
Next! Time! I! Won't! Be! This! NICE!
YEEAA!!
- (Squawk) - Don't hurt Tommy!
Why are you doing this?!
Speak, spell voice: Timmy is a board.
Tammy is burp.
- AHHHH!
Tommy is a burglar! LOOK!
- Harold, this is just a picture of Tommy
on top of some money. - Is it?
- (Gasps) Tommy's a burglar!
(Collective spit)
- Really?! - Really.
- But Why did Tommy target me? I'm not rich!
- Whaaaaaat?! But you're a king!
- Only the King of the Steak Outhouse!
It was a costume.
- A costume?! Argh!
You're the worst!
- Time for this bird to be a jail bird.
Glad we got here before you became one of its victims.
- Sugar. That's why you went after Tommy?
You saved me!
- Hooray! Woo-hoo! - Sugar did it!
- Um. Yeeeeeeeah. Exactly!
I got no idea what anyone's talking about,
but as long as everyone loves me
and that bird is going to jail, I won.
(Animals squawk, snarl and growl)
- You know why I'm here, Tommy!
Can you do the doorbell trick, for old times sake?
I miss you so much!
- You betray me! Don't come back here!
♪ Ta ta ta ♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
Chef: ♪ Ba-pada-baaaa! ♪
All: Whoa!
- Whoa! Nice Chef! Did you win the lottery?
- No. But close!
Last night I had dinner at The King Steak Outhouse.
Where if you eat the whole cow in minutes,
you become a king!
And I did it! (Applause)
- Cow stories are boring. Let's go, guys.
- WAIT, that's not all!
As I dragged myself home, I made a new friend.
Meet TOMMY OISEAU.
- (Squawk) Oiseau means bird in French!
All: AWWWWWW.
- He can talk?! I'm talking.
(Gasps) I'm a bird!
Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!
- (Sighs) I better lay out some newspaper for Izzy.
- Why y'all standin' around?
My show is about to start!
- Chef got a beautiful new parrot!
- A bird? That's the hold up?
Big dumb eyes and sharp gross feet.
- (Gasps) Cover your ears, Tommy!
Wait. He doesn't have ears.
- Incorrect!
Bird's have no external structure to their ears
which allows them to better hear
if a predator is above or below them!
- Hey Nerd-opedia, get back to the stage,
we gotta show to do!
- But Sugar, I wanna see the birdie.
(Growing growl, sizzles)
- Uh oh. She's overheating again!
And that stage looks flammable.
C'mon, let's go watch whatever it is
Sugar wants to bore us with.
(Country music plays)
- (Effort grunts)
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- WHOA! - Whoa is right!
Their eyeballs ain't never seen nothing like this!
- Um... Sugar?
- Aw. Look at my bird doing nothing.
- That bird's tryin' to show us up!
We gotta up our game.
Time to improvise!
-(Squawk) Harold's dancing was lit.
- Aw! Thanks, birdie!
- TIME FOR THE SWEET HEAT!
(Landing crush)
- Sugar, are you okay?!
- Uh huh, but I think I broke Harold's face bone!
- (Squawk) I broke Harold's face bone!
All: (Laughing)
- That's exactly how Sugar said it, Tommy.
Wow. You just made this show good!
- (Squawk) Yes. I did.
- Grrrrrr!
- Okay kids, sit tight as I get Harold to a doctor.
Good news, everyone!
Thanks to Harold's broken face bone
our next trip to the hospital is free!
- Can I draw on your cast?
- (Muffled protesting)
- Ooh! You want me to catch you first?
Okay! (Maniacal laugh)
(Muffled panic exclamation)
- Hm. Which amazing trick should I do for my next show?
- (Squawk) Give up! You're talentless!
(Both gasp)
- What? Tommmmm-y. Baaaaaad.
Okay, let me go get some snacks for you guys.
Tommy did a great job breaking it to Sugar.
A hard truth like that
is always better coming from a bird.
- Talentless? I hate that bird.
- There, alllll done! (Humming)
(Muffled talking)
- What?
- Did Izzy give me a silly face?
- No sillier than yer real one.
- Oh good.
- Yeah, Harold. Maybe when the cast comes off
you'll look completely different
and be a good looking kid. - Ouch.
- (Squawk) Cheffy want a Latte?
- Thanks Tommy! You are talented!
You even put chocolate sprinkles on top!
I hope they're sprinkles.
- You wanna see real talent?!
Twirl 'o whirl, y'all!
(Smash, mug shatters)
(Sizzles) (Harold gasps)
- Awww! My latte!
- Chef! Chef! That latte! You should look at--
- Tommy who is your best friend!
- Aw, Tommy. You truly are the most talented person
in this room.
- Can you believe that latte stunt?
I'll show him who's the most talented person in the room.
Time for me to do some banjo-in'.
I'm gunna make that parrot look like a turkey!
- (reads) "And then, against all odds,
the slow turtle won the race." The end!
- Whoa. I bet a lot of people lost serious money
on that race. (Twangy banjo solo)
- Agh. It's like a really bad sound that's loud.
(Delightful flute playing) - Wait.
There's a much better sound.
All: Awwwwww!
- (Smash) - Hey!
- There! I can hear Tommy's music better now.
- GRRRRRR!
- (Squawk) Join me, Chef.
- You want me to play the piano?
Okay! Count me in, Tommy.
I think my part is coming up! See?
- (Gasps)
(Muffled inaudible yelling)
♪♪♪
- (Gasps)
(Sing-screaming the final note) - Huh?
Sugar, you wrecked our perfect song!
(Weeps)
- And my perfect plan.
- (Weeping) Come on, kids.
- My next show's gonna be the biggest and bestest show ever!
You'll see!
(Beeping, hits note)
(expl*si*n)
Speak, spell voice: Is. Bird. Evil? Ouch!
(Electricity crackles)
(Flat doorbell mimic, bing bong!)
- Oh! Was that you, Tommy?
Solid doorbell impression.
Am I supposed to open the door?
Is there a surprise outside for me?
- Yes. And you'll be shocked.
- Okay then!
Sugar: SHOWTIME! - Huh?!
What my other shows was missin' was production value!
Not anymore!
(Loud Banjo tune) - Sugar! Turn that off! SUGAR!
- Chef, don't forget the bing bong.
Chef! Binggg! Bonggg!
- Okay, Tommy, okay.
(Spark sizzles)
- Are they supposed to do that?
- Okay, who could it be?
(Crackling)
(Poof! electricity hums, shuts off)
- No one's there.
Oh, Tommy, you practical joker!
Now I better go flip the breaker
and get the power back on.
(Jolt of electricity) - GAAAAAAAGH!
Something bad about Tommy
and I'm a butt to find out what.
I'm ABOUT to find out what.
(Siren wails)
- (Slurps) - Hey!
- (Spits)
- Show me everything you have on bird crimes!
- New plan. If I can't beat a bird,
Imma gonna eliminate it from the competition.
'Cause when something tries to steals my spotlight...
it gets got.
Hi everybody. Look how high I'm gettin'.
- Guys! Come see. I lost some teeths!
- Wow! Hey everybody, pay attention to Cody!
- WOW! - You look like a pumpkin!
- (Angry growl)
(Landing thud)
- I knew someday I'd be a sand castle.
- Uh huh. Nobody outshines Sugar,
or you end up in the grrround.
(Keys clack)
(Rope creaks)
- Ha. Hahaha.
- That bird's gotta go right MEOW! HISSS!
- Stray cat! Lookout, Tommy!
(Heavy thud) WHOA.
- Ugh. Why's this so hard.
Speak, spell voice: (reading) Rich man in coma
after eating poison crackers.
Affluent woman nearly drowns in bird bath.
In every case, a wealthy victim
owned a parrot that went missing
and their bank accounts were emptied!
- (Gasp) Hold on, there's also surveillance footage
I forgot to look at from the bank.
(Beep, click)
(Wings flap, money clinks)
Speak, spell voice: That bird is Tommy!
- That is one bad bird!
(Gator roars)
- (Squawk) Tommy wants a cr*cker!
- Okay! Here I come, Tomm--
Oops. Forgot the crackers!
- Got you now!
- (Snarling)
- Oh please. This ain't my first gator pit dance!
(Kicking thuds, pained grunts)
(Scared squawk) - You're next bird!
Next! Time! I! Won't! Be! This! NICE!
YEEAA!!
- (Squawk) - Don't hurt Tommy!
Why are you doing this?!
Speak, spell voice: Timmy is a board.
Tammy is burp.
- AHHHH!
Tommy is a burglar! LOOK!
- Harold, this is just a picture of Tommy
on top of some money. - Is it?
- (Gasps) Tommy's a burglar!
(Collective spit)
- Really?! - Really.
- But Why did Tommy target me? I'm not rich!
- Whaaaaaat?! But you're a king!
- Only the King of the Steak Outhouse!
It was a costume.
- A costume?! Argh!
You're the worst!
- Time for this bird to be a jail bird.
Glad we got here before you became one of its victims.
- Sugar. That's why you went after Tommy?
You saved me!
- Hooray! Woo-hoo! - Sugar did it!
- Um. Yeeeeeeeah. Exactly!
I got no idea what anyone's talking about,
but as long as everyone loves me
and that bird is going to jail, I won.
(Animals squawk, snarl and growl)
- You know why I'm here, Tommy!
Can you do the doorbell trick, for old times sake?
I miss you so much!
- You betray me! Don't come back here!
♪ Ta ta ta ♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪