01x46 - Weiner Takes All

[bunniefuu]

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(Rooster crows)

- Wooohaha-ow! Do it again!

- (Rooster crow)

- I didn't sleep at all last night.

I can't believe it's finally here!

Hot dog day! The best day of the year!

I can't wait to start a hot dog hunt!

Woohoo! - (Horrified gasp)

What time is...

huh?

Why are the kids here so early?

And why did I sleep here?

I have a beautiful home!

(Kids cheer)

♪♪♪

- (Deranged giggling)

Oh it's hot dog day! The hotdog dog is coming!

With hotdogs! And games!

And hotdog games!

Wooohooo!

- Oh no.

It's hotdog day.

Every year on national hotdog day

I hire someone to dress up as a hot-diggity-doggity dog

to come in and hide hotdogs and play games.

It can get a little... crazy.

I'm still having nightmares about last year.

- The hotdog hunt is on!

All: Yay!

- Hotdogs, hotdogs!

I need to find more hotdogs!

- No hotdogs in the couch.

- Uh, this day is really scary!

- I bet there are hotdogs

behind these coloured rectangles.

- Aaahhhhh!!! - Whoooaaaa!!!

(Loud crash)

Awww.

- Let's just make the dog tell us where they are!

- (Gulps)

(Hitting thuds, pained cries)

Ahhh! (Glass shatters)

- This year I totally forgot.

But it's no problem cause Chef...

is a man with a plan!

Even if the plan is to cover my butt.

- It's been hours and I haven't found a hot dog yet.

I'm getting the hotdog day shakes!

- Where's that wiener dog at?

- Hello kids-I've-never-met before

because you don't know me. Woof.

I'm hot-digitty-doggity dog.

Who wants a treat from my dog bucket?

- Me first! Me first! - Me! Me! Meeeeeee!!!

- This year instead of hotdogs,

I've brought you office supplies!

- Mmmm! Metal-y.

- How fun is that? Huh?

- None. It's zero fun.

- You're not fooling anyone!

We all know you're not hot-digitty-doggity dog!!

Just wait until I tell Chef.

- Izzy. That is Chef.

He just forgot to tell the dog to come this year.

Didn't you?

- (Gasp) that's even worse.

- Come on, Izzy. Don't be mad.

Here, measure something. Owww...

- This is just like when you ruined Halloween.

- What?! I didn't ruin Halloween!

Izzy: Yes you did!

Last year, you gave us raisins

and called them "nature's candy",

completely failing to mention

they were also nature's laxative!

(Pained moans)

- Watch out she's gonna blow!

(Fart) Kids: Eeewwwww!!

- If healthy bowels aren't a treat

I don't know what is!

- It's national hotdog day.

We want hot-digitty-doggity dog, and real hotdogs.

Right. Now.

- (Sighs)

- I'm keeping the -hole punch.

(Buttons beep, ringing)

- "fabulous furries", this is Tammy.

- I need a hot-digitty-doggity dog.

And I need him today.

- Today? (Scoffs) All our dogs are booked.

- Just send the closest thing you've got, okay? And hurry!

Phew!

C'm onnnn. Where are you?

- Watcha doin' outside?

- I'm fixing hotdog day. What're you doing outside?

- Remembering the time you ruined earth day.

- How'd I ruin earth day?

- You cut down the treehouse. While we were in it.

(Screaming)

- That never happened.

- Just cause I dreamt it doesn't mean it wasn't real.

- You know what? Naptime's early today.

Everyone nap. Now.

(Didgeridoo plays)

- Huh?

♪♪♪

- G'day mate. I'm your kangaroo.

Here to teach some wee ones about danger and death

in the outback, am I?

- Uh, I had different idea. C'mon in.

Jack: So you want me to pretend I'm a little doggy

and hide hot dogs?

- Yeah. Super fun, right?

- Guess you and I differ there.

I get no joy from lying to children.

- Look, these kids are expecting hot-digitty-doggity dog.

Help me out. Please?

- But I'm clearly a kangaroo.

- We can fix that.

- But it's still lying to children.

- Annnnd I'll double your pay!

- Well, hot-digitty-doggity dog it is!

G'day. I'm dodgy... dig... Daggy... you know,

the dog from the hotdog thing you're celebrating.

- You're kind of mangy. - And you're kind of annoying.

- Whoa-ho-ho. Nicer.

Hot-digitty-doggity dog is gonna be nicer now.

- Hm. Why're you naked?

All the other dogs usually wear something.

Even if it's just a vest. Which is weird.

- He has a backpack on his tummy!

- Hey! You're not suppose to go in there!

Where'd he go?

- Where am I? - (Howling)

- There. Low quality meat paste in digestible tubes.

My work here is done.

- Gimme! Gimme! Gimmeeeeee!!!

- Wait! You're not supposed to dump it on the ground!

You're supposed to hide it so we can hunt for it!

- Why do you have oven mitts for ears?

- You're not a dog at all!

- The strange girl's right. I'm a kangaroo.

All: Who?

- Uh, he's the hot-didgiredoo dog! Heh. From Australia!

- Oh, you're lying.

There's no such thing as Australia.

- Can we start soon? My tummy needs a hot dog.

- You kids wanna hunt hotdogs?

Funny that, because in Australia, hot dogs hunt you.

- Aaahhhhh!!! - (Snarling, barking)

- How about this hotdog day I teach you children

some things no blooming old wiener dog ever could.

- Oooooh. Pretty cool, huh, kids?

- This is just like when you ruined Christmas!

- I never ruined Christmas.

Izzy doesn't know what she's talking about.

Kids love my Christmas socks!

I put a sock pun in each one.

Feet stick toe-gether.

You're a shoe-in.

(Gasp) These puns are terrible!

- Izzy, you're right.

I gotta save hotdog day!

- Then we're gonna need a dog costume!

♪♪♪

- N-n-n-no. Two eyes, one nose.

- Seriously? How'd I get that wrong?

(Heat sizzles)

- Oooh it's sooo hot!

- Funny that. Because in Australia,

it's kilometres from the surface of the sun.

So you gotta learn to take the heat.

Perspiration is natural.

- But it's still gross.

- I don't feel okay at all.

- This is nothing.

It can get up to ten hundred degrees at night.

- Aren't nighttimes cooler?

- Everything's upside-down on the bottom of the world!

Now, a wiener dog would hide from the heat like a coward.

But not a roo.

A roo stands there and takes it like a true roo!

(Relaxed exhale)

(Sizzling)

(Flames whoosh)

- Snakes are everywhere.

Every bush. Every tree.

Every loaf of bread.

And they want your hotdogs,

so you gotta find them snakes!

- I don't want to find snakes!

- Relax. If there were snakes in these bushes

don't you think I'd have put them in chef's pants by now.

- (Hisses) - (Gasp!)

- It's finished! (Duncan screams)

- Perfect! - Time to save hotdog day!

- In Australia, everything wants to end ya,

so you gotta learn to keep your eyes open.

Sweaty blond child,

that tree rat is coming for your hotdogs.

Ready yourself for a fight.

- Awwww...but he's so cute!

- Never hesitate in Australia.

- You look great! Are you ready, Chef?

- It's time to save hotdog day!

- That's right, because in Australia,

even the ground wants to take you down!

The more you struggle, the more you sink!

- I don't wanna do this anymore!

- Yeah, this is the worst hotdog day ever!

- It ain't soft, cuddly and gutless,

if that's what you mean.

It's a fake holiday anyway.

- Hotdog day is real!

And so is hot diggity doggity dog!

All: (Cheer)

- So you can beat it, roo boy!

- Alright! Get us out of here, hot diggity doggity dog!

- Not yet. These kids still have much to learn about--

- I said beat it! You're fired.

- Kangaroos are territorial, mate.

And they definitely don't take orders from wiener dogs.

- Oh no! Get up, hot diggity doggity dog!

- You think you're the first kangaroo

who wanted to take me on?!

- (Gasp!)

- Wheeeeeeee!!!!

- (Laughs)

- Oof! - I was in Australia!

- (Cackles)

(Fighting thuds)

- I bet pudding cups on hot-digitty-doggity dog.

- If we live, I'll take that action.

- AGH!

(Pained groans)

- Did you really think a wiener dog like you,

could beat a roo?

This fight is not over yet!

- (Screams) Not relish!

All: (Ooooooohhhh)

- You wouldn't squirt relish on a guy in a kangaroo costume,

would ya?

- A hot-digitty-doggity dog's gotta do,

what a hot-digitty-doggity dog's gotta do.

(Squirts) - Ahhhhh!

All: Yay! - Oof!

You got game, wiener dog.

- You did it, Chef! You saved hotdog day!

- I-i- i did?

You kids are happy?

- Yeah! They can't wait to see who you fight on thanksgiving.

I'm hoping for a shark dressed like a turkey!