01x40 - Soother or Later

[bunniefuu]

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(Kazoo buzzes) Chef: Hear ye, hear ye,

tiny subjects.

I present to you... Princess Ephemera!

- Greetings, children!

Kids: Ooh! - A real live princess!

- I come to you from the mysterious

and magical world of Sparkle-landia!

- Ooh!

- Ugh! - Wake me when it's over.

- Oh, man! If today isn't a good day to escape,

I don't know what is!

But... how?

Think, Duncan, think!

- Tell me more about this sparkle place!

- Sparkle-landia is an enchanted kingdom

made of glitter, and cupcakes,

and rainbow cotton candy,

where all sorts of magical creatures live!

- Are there dragons?

- Oh yes, when it rains,

the lightning strikes,

and the thunder claps,

and that's when the mean old dragon

swoops down from the sky,

and devours little children

with its razor sharp, knife-like teeth!

- (Dragon roars, kids scream)

- Huh, what do you know,

Princess lady knows how to tell a story.

- But after it rains,

Sparkle-landia is the glitteriest,

most rainbow-y place you could ever be!

- And... she ruined it.

- There's rainbows, and a dragon?

I gotta go there!

- Think we can slip the princess a poisoned apple?

- Apple, pear,

I got a box of raisins somewhere.

- Now who wants to be a little prince or princess?

Kids: I do!

- Oh! I do! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I do! Me! Me! Me! Meeee!

- (Gasps)

The suitcase! That's how I'll escape!

(Swords clang)

- Wee!

(Kazoo buzzes)

- Oh, children!

It's time for me to return to Sparkle-landia!

All: Awwwww!

- Good-day, Your Majesty.

- May my sparkle dust be with each of you,

my dear, sweet children!

(Door slams, Gwen coughs)

- Bye now, creepy princess lady.

- (Sighs) It's such a gift to be able to share

my culture with children!

Wow! Unhh!

This new industrial-grade glitter sure is heavy!

- (Laughs) This is so great!

I'm a genius!

Freedom, here I come!

Is that my foot?

(Suitcase rattles)

- Unhhh! There!

(Engine turns)

(Engine roars, crash, glass shatters)

- Whoopsie daisy!

(Giggles)

(Princess Ephemera hums)

(Dings)

(Car rumbles, cars honk)

(Happy humming) (Thud)

- Ugh!

Ahhhh!

Ahhhhh!

Ugh!

Whoa! Ohhh!

Huh?

What am I wearing?

(Gasps)

- (Groans)

- (Snarls)

- Where am I?

(Gasps)

(Rustling) - (Worried whimper)

- Sparkle-landia!

It's been my dream to visit, and now I'm finally here!

(Excited breathing)

- Izzy? What're you doing here?

- (Gasps) A dragon!

Are you a nice dragon,

or the one that devours small children?

I'm either gonna shake your hand or break it,

depending on what you say.

- Izzy, it's me, Duncan.

I'm inside this dragon costume, and the zipper is busted!

- How do I know you're not just a dragon who ate Duncan?

Tell me something only Duncan would know.

- You're an insane person.

- It is you! Hey, Duncan.

Ooh!

I've always wanted to know what it's like

on the other side of a rainbow!

(Crashes) Ha ha ha!

Sparkle-landia has such- mmm!

Wonderful creatures and cuisine!

Mmm-mmm-mm! - (Gags)

- Oh, hello! Let's sing a song!

♪ Ohh...

♪ We're not groundhogs we're not mice ♪

♪ Call us either we won't be nice ♪

♪ We're not ferrets not wingless bats ♪

♪ In Sparkle-landia

♪ We're singing raaaaaaats!

(Thunder rumbles)

- (Gasps) Was that thunder? - Yes!

- So I'm scared of thunderstorms! Sue me!

(Rats squeak)

- Yeah, I'm kind of scared of Izzy, too.

You know, I think it's time I head back to the daycare.

- Well, now that I've seen Sparkle-landia,

I'm headed that way too.

Giddy-up! Fly, dragon, fly!

- Izzy, you know I can't fly!

- Shh! Don't ruin this for me. I'm riding a dragon!

- (Sighs)

You know this would be a whole lot faster

if you'd get off and walk!

- And it'd be a whole lot funner if you'd fly!

(Thunder rumbles)

- It's okay, Duncan, you'll be alright.

It won't be like before.

(Rattling, laughing)

(Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes)

(Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes)

Ahhhh!

(Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes)

(Phone rings) - Hello?

(Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes)

Ahhhhh!

(Whimpers) I've gotta hurry!

(Tires screech, splash)

A bus'll get us there way faster!

- Now this is what I'm talkin' about!

- Hey! Open the door!

Driver: Aah! Dragon!

(Bus rumbles)

(Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes)

(Cart rattles)

- I think I can score us a set of wheels!

Follow my lead!

Roaaaaar! - Aaaah! Aaah!

(Cart rattles) - Woo-hoo!

Yeeeehhhh hhaaa!

Both: Woo hoo hoo!

- Yeah! Yeaaaaah!

Whoa!

(Landing thud) Ugh!

(Cart rattles) - Huh?

(Crying)

- Mmm! Sewer cheese! Do you want the first bite?

- No! Look out!

(In love sigh)

- (Gasps) Oh no!

I think she got me confused with somebody else!

(Smooching sounds) - Gross!

- Duncan's got a girlfriend!

- What happens in this sewer, stays in this sewer.

(Gasps) Brake!

(Screeching)

- (Happy humming)

(Chewing sounds)

(Blows, pops!)

- I guess this is why you don't flush gum down the toilet.

We're never getting back!

(Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes)

- Look! - Yes!

- Come on, Duncan the dragon. We made it!

- I wish the princess was here to tell us another story.

- No way! The princess said the dragon eats children

when there's thunder, and I'm a child!

- No way I'll be that lucky.

(Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes)

(Lights fizzle)

- (Screaming fearfully)

Chef: Don't worry kids, I'll get the lights on again.

I've got a backup generator for just such occasions.

(Electricity crackles)

I will run, and there will be light!

(Electricity crackles)

There you go, kids, the lights are back on.

Don't you worry, I'll keep 'em going.

- Who's gonna tell him it's only working in his office?

(Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes)

- Weeehee! Puddles! (Banging on door)

- Ha ha ha! - Open the door!

Why aren't they letting us in?! - Who knows.

We can just make new homes outside.

I call the tube slide!

- I've spent my whole life

trying to get out of this place.

How can it be this hard to get back in?!

Ohhhhhhh!

(Kids scream fearfully)

- It's the dragon!

- Take cover!

I knew it! The dragon escaped Sparkle-landia,

and now he's here for the all-you-can-eat kid buffet!

- (Grunting, panting)

Just gotta keep the lights on a little longer.

You can do it. The kids need you!

(Electricity crackles) Ow! Yeowwww!

I got you, kids! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!

I got you! Ow-ow-owwwww!

- What're we gonna do?

- If the dragon's hungry,

maybe he'll go away when he's full.

Someone's gotta go feed him.

- He can have my mayonnaise sandwich!

- I don't think dragons eat sandwiches.

The princess said...

- Sharing is caring.

That's a great idea, Cody.

- I'm the dragon feeder!

- Cody, wait up!

You sure about this? - Draaagon!

I've got your lunch!

- Yes!

Door! Door! Roaaaar!

(Thunder rumbles) Both: Aaaaaah!

- (Gasps) A dragon got, Cody! - Aaaaah!

Oh, hey, Duncan. Want a sandwich?

- Nah, thanks, buddy.

I'm trying to figure out another way in.

- It's too bad you're not a real dragon,

'cause then you could fly up into the air vents.

- The air vents, huh?

I gotta get in!

I'm gonna make it!

(Wind whooshes) Ahhh!

- Huh, Duncan, you could fly this whole time?!

Ha ha! I knew it!

Aghhh! (Thuds)

(Clangs)

(Pained screams)

Whoa! Oof!

- We're all safe now.

The dragon is probably full after Cody and his sandwich,

and is definitely on his way back...

All: Dragon!

- Duncan? - What are you looking at?

I've been here the whole time.

- (Sighs)

I guess there won't be a funeral today.

- Cody, what are you still doing out there?

- Hi, guys!

(Lightning strikes) Ahhhhh!

Oh! - Ew!

- Oooh. So close.

Beth: Can we finger paint, Chef?