03x20 - Wrangling a Greased Pig
Posted: 02/21/24 10:53
Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola I got you, moonlight ♪ You're my starlight ♪ I need you all night ♪ Come on, dance with me.
♪ Daz how star do ♪ Ten milli, ten million for a show ♪ Daz how star do, never.
♪ Here's what you will do.
You will go to college and study medicine and this nonsense.
And when you graduate, you and I will sit down together and I will decide what is next.
What would you do if I did not want you to become a doctor? Whatever you wanted me to do? Yes.
But what if it was your decision? Well I guess, hypothetically, I would move to New York and see if I can get into a dance program.
So, when people ask me, "What does Dele do?" I'm supposed to say "He's in New York learning to gyrate"? How is your suya? Delicious, thank you.
Is it better than when she fed it to you yesterday? Is just as good.
Because your mother reheats your food with love.
My little Puff Puff, I need your magic hands.
There's a knot in my neck.
I would worry more about that hump on your back.
Oh.
Hello, Auntie.
I thought I felt the temperature drop a few degrees.
More pancakes, my little ade? Mm, no, thank you, Granny.
How about some freshly
-squeezed orange juice? Oh, that'd be great.
Abishola, squeeze him some orange juice.
Yes, Mummy.
Boy, I'm not used to you serving Dele.
My mother is serving Dele, I am serving her.
Every grandma dotes on their grandson.
Mine used to take me to get milkshakes every Saturday.
Well, she took me to the dog track, but they sold 'em there.
This is not just about grandmas and milkshakes.
In Nigeria, boys are treated like kings.
And the women are expected to serve them.
Because we are raising men who will run the family.
And the world.
Bob, would you like Abishola to make you some pancakes? I'm good.
Tell me if you need anything else, Dele.
I will have your mother get it for you.
Your mother will not get it for you.
Of course not.
You have no school this week.
What are your plans? Um, I'll be studying and, you know studying.
Do you believe that? Not his best.
You know, why don't you let him have the day off to screw around? Screw around? You know, sometimes I forget I married an American.
Hey, I worked like a dog when I was his age.
During the summer, my dad had me in the factory 12 hours a day, six days a week.
I was 14 when I got my first hernia.
I thought working children like that was illegal in this country.
Not if your family owns the business.
- Interesting.
- Uh
-oh.
Dele, get your things.
You are going to work with Bob.
I I
-I was just telling a story.
You coulda told a different one.
["IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING]
Don't worry, unlike my old man, I'm not gonna bust your butt all day.
I don't mind helping out.
I know, but a factory is no place for a kid.
Oh, see that scar? That's where a baling wire snapped, almost blinded me.
- Whoa.
- It happened right before the eighth grade dance.
I got to tell you, ladies love an eye patch.
You're joking.
Yeah.
Although, Janice Freidkin felt sorry for me and helped me change my gauze.
How many people work here? Uh, 153, including trucking and maintenance.
And a lot of 'em are second
-generation.
I mean, this is a real family business.
Not just for the Wheelers, but for all our employees.
That's nice.
I think that's what I'm most proud of.
I guess I'm a third generation.
I guess you are, buddy.
Hey, let me show you Old Willy the Finger Collector.
- Is that a person?
- No, a conveyor belt.
You worry too much.
Your mother is fine.
CHUKWUEMEKA: I am sure you are right.
But she is not answering her phone or text messages.
She has not even posted her Wordle score.
Hello? Ogechi? It seems the dragon has left her cave.
Please, go in and check.
Okay.
[SCOFFS]
I am so kindhearted.
Hello? Ogechi? Ogechi? OGECHI [WEAKLY]
: Help.
- What is happening?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh.
Oh OGECHI: Kemi, oh, I have fallen.
I can see that.
And many other things.
- Is she okay?
- She fell.
Hold on.
[GROANING]
What are you doing?
- Helping you.
- Where is my son? KEMI: He's at his pharmacist conference.
I want Chukwuemeka! Well, you got me.
Mummy, I am here.
Don't touch me! How else am I supposed get you out? Aah! Not there.
KEMI: These are the only handles I can find! What is happening? I cannot see anything.
You want to see what I'm seeing? Fine.
Turn me away! Turn me away! And that, my young friend, is how you turn a flat piece of cardboard into a box.
That's your whole job? On a good day.
Does it get boring? [CHUCKLES]
Not if you're super high.
[LAUGHS]
Dele, let me show you something over here.
There is nothing to show you.
I just don't want you infected by Douglas' lack of ambition.
Can I ask you a question? His family owns the business.
What am I supposed to do? No, I was wondering why you don't automate some of these processes.
It seems like you could be doing the same job
- with half of the workforce.
- Excellent question.
I have suggested the same to Mr.
Wheeler.
- What did he say?
- Oh, some nonsense about workers being family.
Honestly, at a certain point, I just stopped listening.
- Hello, Dele.
- Hello, Mr.
Kofo.
Maybe later you can come and visit the marketing department.
- I'd like that.
- Today, we are choosing a new color for the website's "Buy Now" button.
Fascinating.
It is.
You did not hear it from me, but the front
-runner is blue! [LAUGHS]
His job is the first I would automate.
DOUGLAS: Dele! This one's for you.
[OGECHI MOANING]
Can you give her something for the pain? Sorry, not till she's admitted.
Aah! Can you give me something? Oh, where is my son? He is in Rhode Island making a speech.
- Tell him to come home.
- He's receiving the Pharmacist of the Year award.
Do you want to take that away from him? No.
Then suck it up.
Who will take care of me? We can find somebody on the Internet.
I had a shelf built by a TaskRabbit.
Oh, I do not want a stranger looking after me.
Well, your other choice is me.
Call the rabbit.
How about this? You're on the packing line, you see a couple of socks roll by without the MaxDot logo.
What do you do? Halt distribution, do QC for the whole shipment, and call Goodwin.
- What if Goodwin's not there?
- Goodwin's always there.
- The kid's a natural.
- [CHRISTINA LAUGHS]
Sounds like you learned a lot today.
I had no idea how much goes into getting a pair of socks to the store.
Tell her about the boxes.
- Douglas makes boxes.
- Oh, yeah.
- Did you show him Old Willy?
- Yeah, I showed him.
Did you see the Polaroids of the severed fingers? I did.
It was horrible.
Isn't it? I asked to work at the factory when I was a teenager.
But she wouldn't let me.
Forgive me for not wanting my daughter to get knocked up by some four
-fingered man.
Tomorrow you are coming to work with me at the hospital.
That's it? I get him one day? He cannot learn how to be a doctor in a sock factory.
For your information, Javier had five fingers.
It as an eye he was missing.
Oh! Did you tell her about the boxes? Yeah, take him to the hospital.
Doesn't he look good in his scrubs? Yep, a real Doogie Howser.
You know, when I was pregnant with him and people asked me what I was having I told them, "a doctor.
" I don't understand how this is preparing me for that.
Less talking, more mopping.
Do not worry, I will be there when she gets out of surgery.
Yes, I told her you loved her.
No, I will not give her a big kiss for you.
Fine, I will give her a big kiss for you.
What's going on? Chukwuemeka's mother fell in the shower and broke her hip.
- That's terrible.
- Oh, no.
I know, it's been such an ordeal.
For me.
What is he doing here? Becoming a doctor.
That is wonderful.
When you are done with the floor, come to the kitchen, I have some pots you can clean, Doctor.
[SPEAKS MANDARIN]
What, do you think you're talking to some idiot who doesn't know the market price of superfine merino wool? [SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Don't give me that.
You don't shear sheep.
Then don't try to rob me.
- Thirteen.
- So, what else is new? How's the family? Good.
My son graduates college this year.
Oh, great, what's he gonna do come work for you? No, he wants to be an influencer.
What's that mean? It means I have failed as a father.
So, what about you? How are the Africans? Good.
Uh, my stepson came to work with me the other day.
Is he going to take over the business when you retire? No, his mom wants him to be a doctor.
You think she would talk to my son? I could ask.
Oh, before I forget, I need a price on compression sleeves.
Let me look it up.
Oh, my, the prices have gone through the roof.
You son of a b*tch, don't you start with me.
I will.
How do you sleep at night? [MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY]
You remember Chukwuemeka, Auntie Kemi's friend? Yes.
The woman on the operating table is his mother.
The surgeon is going to cut off her hip with a bone saw and replace it with titanium.
A bone saw? Yes, it is a saw used to cut bone.
- [SAW WHIRRING]
- Ooh, look, he's starting to cut.
Oh, my It is amazing, isn't it? There's so much blood.
Yes, the adult human body holds one and a half gallons of blood.
It looks like a lot more.
And he hasn't even hit the muscle yet.
[GAGS, CLEARS THROAT]
Are you all right? Mm
-hmm.
No, you are not.
Sit down.
I am so sorry.
It's all right.
Just breathe.
Breathe.
Okay.
You're right.
I'm good.
Totally good.
I am not good.
[THROWS UP]
She looks quite peaceful.
Like a snapping turtle sunning on a rock.
Bible study starts soon.
We may have to leave before she wakes.
But if we go, we will not get credit for the visit.
- Hello.
- Eh.
Tell her we stopped by and those flowers are from us.
And that I was weepy with concern.
Oh, you.
Yes, me.
Who sent the flowers? Also me.
Your surgery went well.
Good.
- Where is my son?
- Right now he is receiving the Ibuprofen Award for Excellence in Pharmaceutical Sciences.
And he left me with a witch.
Okay, I'm taking my flowers.
No, please stay.
I do not want to be alone.
I am always alone.
Perhaps if you stopped calling people witches Most people do not like me.
It has been that way since I was little.
My mother used to say that I am just unlikable.
Your mother was very wise.
My son does not think I am unlikeable.
He loves me.
Yes, he does.
He loves you, too.
Yes, he does.
Which means we are the luckiest girls in the world.
We are.
Well one girl and one witch.
[GIGGLING]
You okay? I could not sleep.
What's going on? How is Dele going to become a doctor if he gets sick at the sight of blood? Yeah, that's a problem.
But better he found out now.
Better for who? Everybody?
- Tea?
- Thank you.
I know him being a doctor was everything you ever wanted.
Everything he ever wanted.
Right, exactly, same thing.
The good news is whatever he decides to do with his life, he'll be great at it.
- He is going to become a doctor.
- I know.
Stop saying you know.
You do not know.
Boy, ain't that the truth.
Maybe every day we can build up his tolerance.
Expose him to more and more blood.
Where are you gonna get all that blood? I'll find a way.
Well, if you can't, he can always help me sell socks.
You'll find the blood.
Here, I made you some tea.
I need my pain pill.
It is not time yet.
But it hurts.
If I give it to you now, you will become a drug addict living under a bridge.
Fine.
Give me the remote.
My show is on.
Okay.
But soon you have to try walking on your new hip.
I am afraid.
The last time I was on my feet, I fell and suffered for hours.
Stop trying to cheer me up.
Can we at least watch a movie? I cannot stand any more of your ridiculous reality show.
But it is the finale.
Cole has to give his room key to either Jenny or Alicia.
He's obviously going to choose Alicia.
Jenny is so basic.
I do not know.
Sometimes men love women for no good reason at all.
Or maybe one fantastic reason.
What does that mean? It means you are not the only one who has suffered a hip injury.
[DOOR OPENS]
- Mummy.
- My son!
- How are you feeling?
- Better, now that you are here.
How can I thank you for taking care of her? Oh, you know how.
What gifts did you bring us from this Rhode Island? There was no time.
I hurried home.
You brought your mother nothing? She was near death.
You said she was fine.
I didn't want you to worry because I am always thinking of others.
This is true.
I have to say, it is nice to see you two getting along.
- What is he talking about?
- We are not getting along.
- She is rude.
- And she is a witch.
Oh, my show is starting.
Popcorn?
- Yes, please.
- Mm
-hmm.
I will go make some.
Please, God, make it Alicia.
May He hear your prayers.
♪ Daz how star do ♪ Ten milli, ten million for a show ♪ Daz how star do, never.
♪ Here's what you will do.
You will go to college and study medicine and this nonsense.
And when you graduate, you and I will sit down together and I will decide what is next.
What would you do if I did not want you to become a doctor? Whatever you wanted me to do? Yes.
But what if it was your decision? Well I guess, hypothetically, I would move to New York and see if I can get into a dance program.
So, when people ask me, "What does Dele do?" I'm supposed to say "He's in New York learning to gyrate"? How is your suya? Delicious, thank you.
Is it better than when she fed it to you yesterday? Is just as good.
Because your mother reheats your food with love.
My little Puff Puff, I need your magic hands.
There's a knot in my neck.
I would worry more about that hump on your back.
Oh.
Hello, Auntie.
I thought I felt the temperature drop a few degrees.
More pancakes, my little ade? Mm, no, thank you, Granny.
How about some freshly
-squeezed orange juice? Oh, that'd be great.
Abishola, squeeze him some orange juice.
Yes, Mummy.
Boy, I'm not used to you serving Dele.
My mother is serving Dele, I am serving her.
Every grandma dotes on their grandson.
Mine used to take me to get milkshakes every Saturday.
Well, she took me to the dog track, but they sold 'em there.
This is not just about grandmas and milkshakes.
In Nigeria, boys are treated like kings.
And the women are expected to serve them.
Because we are raising men who will run the family.
And the world.
Bob, would you like Abishola to make you some pancakes? I'm good.
Tell me if you need anything else, Dele.
I will have your mother get it for you.
Your mother will not get it for you.
Of course not.
You have no school this week.
What are your plans? Um, I'll be studying and, you know studying.
Do you believe that? Not his best.
You know, why don't you let him have the day off to screw around? Screw around? You know, sometimes I forget I married an American.
Hey, I worked like a dog when I was his age.
During the summer, my dad had me in the factory 12 hours a day, six days a week.
I was 14 when I got my first hernia.
I thought working children like that was illegal in this country.
Not if your family owns the business.
- Interesting.
- Uh
-oh.
Dele, get your things.
You are going to work with Bob.
I I
-I was just telling a story.
You coulda told a different one.
["IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING]
Don't worry, unlike my old man, I'm not gonna bust your butt all day.
I don't mind helping out.
I know, but a factory is no place for a kid.
Oh, see that scar? That's where a baling wire snapped, almost blinded me.
- Whoa.
- It happened right before the eighth grade dance.
I got to tell you, ladies love an eye patch.
You're joking.
Yeah.
Although, Janice Freidkin felt sorry for me and helped me change my gauze.
How many people work here? Uh, 153, including trucking and maintenance.
And a lot of 'em are second
-generation.
I mean, this is a real family business.
Not just for the Wheelers, but for all our employees.
That's nice.
I think that's what I'm most proud of.
I guess I'm a third generation.
I guess you are, buddy.
Hey, let me show you Old Willy the Finger Collector.
- Is that a person?
- No, a conveyor belt.
You worry too much.
Your mother is fine.
CHUKWUEMEKA: I am sure you are right.
But she is not answering her phone or text messages.
She has not even posted her Wordle score.
Hello? Ogechi? It seems the dragon has left her cave.
Please, go in and check.
Okay.
[SCOFFS]
I am so kindhearted.
Hello? Ogechi? Ogechi? OGECHI [WEAKLY]
: Help.
- What is happening?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh.
Oh OGECHI: Kemi, oh, I have fallen.
I can see that.
And many other things.
- Is she okay?
- She fell.
Hold on.
[GROANING]
What are you doing?
- Helping you.
- Where is my son? KEMI: He's at his pharmacist conference.
I want Chukwuemeka! Well, you got me.
Mummy, I am here.
Don't touch me! How else am I supposed get you out? Aah! Not there.
KEMI: These are the only handles I can find! What is happening? I cannot see anything.
You want to see what I'm seeing? Fine.
Turn me away! Turn me away! And that, my young friend, is how you turn a flat piece of cardboard into a box.
That's your whole job? On a good day.
Does it get boring? [CHUCKLES]
Not if you're super high.
[LAUGHS]
Dele, let me show you something over here.
There is nothing to show you.
I just don't want you infected by Douglas' lack of ambition.
Can I ask you a question? His family owns the business.
What am I supposed to do? No, I was wondering why you don't automate some of these processes.
It seems like you could be doing the same job
- with half of the workforce.
- Excellent question.
I have suggested the same to Mr.
Wheeler.
- What did he say?
- Oh, some nonsense about workers being family.
Honestly, at a certain point, I just stopped listening.
- Hello, Dele.
- Hello, Mr.
Kofo.
Maybe later you can come and visit the marketing department.
- I'd like that.
- Today, we are choosing a new color for the website's "Buy Now" button.
Fascinating.
It is.
You did not hear it from me, but the front
-runner is blue! [LAUGHS]
His job is the first I would automate.
DOUGLAS: Dele! This one's for you.
[OGECHI MOANING]
Can you give her something for the pain? Sorry, not till she's admitted.
Aah! Can you give me something? Oh, where is my son? He is in Rhode Island making a speech.
- Tell him to come home.
- He's receiving the Pharmacist of the Year award.
Do you want to take that away from him? No.
Then suck it up.
Who will take care of me? We can find somebody on the Internet.
I had a shelf built by a TaskRabbit.
Oh, I do not want a stranger looking after me.
Well, your other choice is me.
Call the rabbit.
How about this? You're on the packing line, you see a couple of socks roll by without the MaxDot logo.
What do you do? Halt distribution, do QC for the whole shipment, and call Goodwin.
- What if Goodwin's not there?
- Goodwin's always there.
- The kid's a natural.
- [CHRISTINA LAUGHS]
Sounds like you learned a lot today.
I had no idea how much goes into getting a pair of socks to the store.
Tell her about the boxes.
- Douglas makes boxes.
- Oh, yeah.
- Did you show him Old Willy?
- Yeah, I showed him.
Did you see the Polaroids of the severed fingers? I did.
It was horrible.
Isn't it? I asked to work at the factory when I was a teenager.
But she wouldn't let me.
Forgive me for not wanting my daughter to get knocked up by some four
-fingered man.
Tomorrow you are coming to work with me at the hospital.
That's it? I get him one day? He cannot learn how to be a doctor in a sock factory.
For your information, Javier had five fingers.
It as an eye he was missing.
Oh! Did you tell her about the boxes? Yeah, take him to the hospital.
Doesn't he look good in his scrubs? Yep, a real Doogie Howser.
You know, when I was pregnant with him and people asked me what I was having I told them, "a doctor.
" I don't understand how this is preparing me for that.
Less talking, more mopping.
Do not worry, I will be there when she gets out of surgery.
Yes, I told her you loved her.
No, I will not give her a big kiss for you.
Fine, I will give her a big kiss for you.
What's going on? Chukwuemeka's mother fell in the shower and broke her hip.
- That's terrible.
- Oh, no.
I know, it's been such an ordeal.
For me.
What is he doing here? Becoming a doctor.
That is wonderful.
When you are done with the floor, come to the kitchen, I have some pots you can clean, Doctor.
[SPEAKS MANDARIN]
What, do you think you're talking to some idiot who doesn't know the market price of superfine merino wool? [SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Don't give me that.
You don't shear sheep.
Then don't try to rob me.
- Thirteen.
- So, what else is new? How's the family? Good.
My son graduates college this year.
Oh, great, what's he gonna do come work for you? No, he wants to be an influencer.
What's that mean? It means I have failed as a father.
So, what about you? How are the Africans? Good.
Uh, my stepson came to work with me the other day.
Is he going to take over the business when you retire? No, his mom wants him to be a doctor.
You think she would talk to my son? I could ask.
Oh, before I forget, I need a price on compression sleeves.
Let me look it up.
Oh, my, the prices have gone through the roof.
You son of a b*tch, don't you start with me.
I will.
How do you sleep at night? [MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY]
You remember Chukwuemeka, Auntie Kemi's friend? Yes.
The woman on the operating table is his mother.
The surgeon is going to cut off her hip with a bone saw and replace it with titanium.
A bone saw? Yes, it is a saw used to cut bone.
- [SAW WHIRRING]
- Ooh, look, he's starting to cut.
Oh, my It is amazing, isn't it? There's so much blood.
Yes, the adult human body holds one and a half gallons of blood.
It looks like a lot more.
And he hasn't even hit the muscle yet.
[GAGS, CLEARS THROAT]
Are you all right? Mm
-hmm.
No, you are not.
Sit down.
I am so sorry.
It's all right.
Just breathe.
Breathe.
Okay.
You're right.
I'm good.
Totally good.
I am not good.
[THROWS UP]
She looks quite peaceful.
Like a snapping turtle sunning on a rock.
Bible study starts soon.
We may have to leave before she wakes.
But if we go, we will not get credit for the visit.
- Hello.
- Eh.
Tell her we stopped by and those flowers are from us.
And that I was weepy with concern.
Oh, you.
Yes, me.
Who sent the flowers? Also me.
Your surgery went well.
Good.
- Where is my son?
- Right now he is receiving the Ibuprofen Award for Excellence in Pharmaceutical Sciences.
And he left me with a witch.
Okay, I'm taking my flowers.
No, please stay.
I do not want to be alone.
I am always alone.
Perhaps if you stopped calling people witches Most people do not like me.
It has been that way since I was little.
My mother used to say that I am just unlikable.
Your mother was very wise.
My son does not think I am unlikeable.
He loves me.
Yes, he does.
He loves you, too.
Yes, he does.
Which means we are the luckiest girls in the world.
We are.
Well one girl and one witch.
[GIGGLING]
You okay? I could not sleep.
What's going on? How is Dele going to become a doctor if he gets sick at the sight of blood? Yeah, that's a problem.
But better he found out now.
Better for who? Everybody?
- Tea?
- Thank you.
I know him being a doctor was everything you ever wanted.
Everything he ever wanted.
Right, exactly, same thing.
The good news is whatever he decides to do with his life, he'll be great at it.
- He is going to become a doctor.
- I know.
Stop saying you know.
You do not know.
Boy, ain't that the truth.
Maybe every day we can build up his tolerance.
Expose him to more and more blood.
Where are you gonna get all that blood? I'll find a way.
Well, if you can't, he can always help me sell socks.
You'll find the blood.
Here, I made you some tea.
I need my pain pill.
It is not time yet.
But it hurts.
If I give it to you now, you will become a drug addict living under a bridge.
Fine.
Give me the remote.
My show is on.
Okay.
But soon you have to try walking on your new hip.
I am afraid.
The last time I was on my feet, I fell and suffered for hours.
Stop trying to cheer me up.
Can we at least watch a movie? I cannot stand any more of your ridiculous reality show.
But it is the finale.
Cole has to give his room key to either Jenny or Alicia.
He's obviously going to choose Alicia.
Jenny is so basic.
I do not know.
Sometimes men love women for no good reason at all.
Or maybe one fantastic reason.
What does that mean? It means you are not the only one who has suffered a hip injury.
[DOOR OPENS]
- Mummy.
- My son!
- How are you feeling?
- Better, now that you are here.
How can I thank you for taking care of her? Oh, you know how.
What gifts did you bring us from this Rhode Island? There was no time.
I hurried home.
You brought your mother nothing? She was near death.
You said she was fine.
I didn't want you to worry because I am always thinking of others.
This is true.
I have to say, it is nice to see you two getting along.
- What is he talking about?
- We are not getting along.
- She is rude.
- And she is a witch.
Oh, my show is starting.
Popcorn?
- Yes, please.
- Mm
-hmm.
I will go make some.
Please, God, make it Alicia.
May He hear your prayers.