03x19 - Log 165: Once a Cop

[bunniefuu]

One-Adam-12, handle code 3.

♪♪

What do you say? You
want to talk a while?

Yeah. Why not?

One-Adam-12, code 6
at 217 South Arang Street.

Foot patrol.

Mr. Johnson still away?

Yeah. Fish must
be biting pretty well.

What's so interesting?

That guitar there. The
second one from the left.

- Nice instrument.
- - You already got a guitar.

Not like that one.

- It's a s*ab wound.
- I'll get an ambulance.

- Better get detectives, too.
- Right.

Exactly like I figured.

Hello, Bill. What'd
you have figured?

- Is he dead? Is Sam dead?
- No. Not yet, anyway.

Oh, Lord, he's been
stabbed, ain't he?

My old buddy Sam.

You were saying you
had something figured, Bill.

It was Jack Donohue.

Only this time I seen
him with my own eyes.

How long is it going to be
before he kills somebody, Malloy?

Where'd you see Jack Donohue?

In the alley, not
over a minute ago.

With poor old Sam, and then...

When he seen me
coming, Donohue run off.

Before I could get to him,
Sam had staggered on out here.

What was Donohue doing?

He was just picking Sam
up and fixing to stick him

with that knife again probably.

Ambulance and
detectives are on their way.

- You know Bill White,
don't you?
- Hello, Bill.

What do you need detectives
for? I told you who done it.

Was Donohue holding a knife?

Who knows? With them
big fists of Donohue's,

he could be holding a
watermelon, and you couldn't see it.

Donohue still living
in the same place?

Far as I know, yeah.

He'll be all right,
won't he, Malloy?

I don't know, Bill.

Sam's the only friend
I got in this world.

Please don't die, Sam.

Donohue again.

I'll never figure out why a guy
like that would live down here.

That is kind of strange,
especially for an ex-cop.

Sam?

Can you imagine anyone living
in a dump like this by choice?

Nothing like living
close to your work.

Donohue's beat was a skid row
back East somewhere, wasn't it?

Yeah, he was a sergeant in Vice.

Good cop, too, from
what they tell me.

What really happened to
him? All I've heard are rumors.

He was making an
arrest... Suspected mugger.

Donohue claims the
guy went for a g*n,

and he shot and k*lled him.

- Turns out the suspect
wasn't armed.
- That can happen.

And the coroner's
jury thought so, too.

His department must've had some other valid
reason for removing him from the force.

Room 310.

Come on in, Malloy.

What's the matter,
pal? You nervous?

I saw you drive up.
What took you so long?

A man around the
corner walked into a knife.

We waited for the ambulance.

You don't say. How's
the victim doing?

We'll let you know.

Don't worry about him.

One transfusion of hot Moscatel,
and old Sam will be as good as new.

Oh...

Don't look so surprised. I
found the old guy in an alley.

Somebody tried to let the
vino out of him the hard way.

I was lugging him to a telephone
when Bill White showed up.

I knew he was a friend
of Sam's, so I checked out.

Just like last time, hmm?

Yeah, and the time before that.

I guess at heart, I'm
just a Good Samaritan.

If you were so concerned,
why didn't you give us a call?

You're asking me to do
business with L.A.'s finest?

Don't hang by your
thumbs waiting.

Anybody for a sandwich?

You got a real good thing going
here, haven't you, Donohue?

No comment.

I'd say that's a
matter of opinion.

Yeah. Come to think of it, I
have got something going.

I'm not a cop anymore.

You got to admit that's a rung up
the ladder of society, wouldn't you say?

To what? Rolling drunks?

Suspicion only, youngster.

I'll admit one thing, Donohue.

You're a big puzzle to me.

How so?

Well, you're an intelligent
man, you're healthy,

able to work,

you're not an alcoholic,
and yet you live like a bum.

What's the story?

What do you mean? I'm a k*ller.

It says so in the record.
Implies it, anyway.

I go around sh**ting
unarmed men.

Okay, Jack, you're under arrest.

So you're taking Bill
White's word for it, huh?

For the time being, yeah.

What about the victim?
Anybody get his version?

My partner's with Sam
down at the hospital right now

waiting for him to regain
consciousness, if and when he does.

- Stand up.
- Yeah.

Okay, Donohue.

"You have the right
to remain silent.

If you give up the right to remain
silent, anything you say can"...

Do we have to? I
was just about to eat.

Anything you say can and
will be used against you"...

"In a court of law.

"You have the right
to speak to an attorney

and to have the attorney
present during questioning."

I got the idea that
Donohue was actually

looking forward to
going down to the station.

- Strange guy.
- Yeah.

But I can't imagine him
rolling drunks for a living.

For the last six months, every time
some wino's gotten tapped out around here,

Donohue's been
within shouting distance.

How do you explain that?

I can't.

But every time I see Donohue

kneeling down in some back alley
rolling a drunk, I get a fuzzy picture.

Well, you better
check your fine tuning.

All units in One-Adam-12.

A 415 woman firing a g*n

in the courtyard
at Union Station.

One-Adam-12, handle, code 3.

One-Adam-12, roger.

Here. You can have
it. I'm all through.

Now, what's this all about?

I don't know exactly.

But I haven't felt so good
since I left West Prairie.

- West Prairie?
- Missouri.

West Prairie, Missouri.
That's where I'm from.

- Hi, I'm Ada Hays. Pleased
to make your acquaintance.
- It's empty.

I'm only sorry about one
thing: I ran out of b*ll*ts.

He had more coming.

- Who did?
- My so-called agent, Phil Duke.

- Ever hear of him?
- No, ma'am. I can't say
that I have.

Biggest crook in
Hollywood, I guarantee you.

He swore on his hands and knees
I was going to be a movie star...

Me, the homecoming queen
from West Prairie, Missouri.

Cleaned me out of my last dime.

Said it was for publicity.

Then he told me to get lost.

Oh, boy, that flipped me.

And that's when you
hauled out your g*n

and decided to sh**t
up the phone booth.

Kind of silly, huh?

Where'd the g*n come from?

My dad gave it to
me just before I left.

Oh, I had some movie magazines,
and he read about the wolves out here.

You know, the ones in Hollywood.
So he said I might need it.

Well, unfortunately, Miss Hays,

firing off a g*n around here,

at a phone booth or at wolves,

is against the law.

We're going to
have to arrest you.

Oh, I understand.

Could you give me a couple
minutes to get my suitcase?

It has all my most
valuable things in it.

- Where is it?
- Over there. Locker 57.

Okay. Give her her rights first.

You have the right
to remain silent.

If you give up the
right to remain silent,

anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.

- Do you understand each of
these rights I've given you?
- Yeah, okay.

Here we are.

Hey, that's funny.
There's a key already in it.

- I don't get it.
- Let me see it.

It has to be the
right key. I know it is.

This one says 55.

But that's impossible.

Well, that couldn't
be right. It was in here.

"Was" is right, I'm afraid.

But I don't understand.
What's going on?

By any chance, Miss Hays,
did some nice, polite man

offer to put your
suitcase in there for you?

Yeah, sure. The thing must've
weighed a ton, so I took him up on it.

He put it in this locker... 57. I
stood right here and watched him.

Then he locked the door
and handed you the key?

Yeah. To lock...

Ohh!

Locker 55.

He palmed the key to 57, then
he waited till you were out of sight,

and came back and
got your suitcase.

I shouldn't have
made that phone call.

If it makes you feel any
better, this has happened

to a lot of people
before you came along.

Don't waste any
sympathy on me, mister.

Dumb don't rate tears. And that's
me, boy, dumb with a capital D!

If you'll describe the contents,
we'll try to get it back for you.

Well, it had
everything I own in it.

- Even Henry.
- Henry?

My pet rattlesnake.

He's in my suitcase.

Come on in.

Thanks. I can use
the peace and quiet.

That your snake
fancier out there?

Snake fancier
and, uh, gunslinger.

I hate to think what that
phone booth looks like.

Well, it doesn't look very good.

I called the radio stations
about the rattlesnake.

They'd already heard
about the sh**ting.

I just hope the thief, whoever
he is, has the radio turned on.

She said the snake's
fangs had been pulled

about a week ago and
he should be harmless.

Yeah, well, fangs grow back.

Hey, what was she doing
with a rattlesnake, anyway?

She said her agent told
her it would be good publicity.

Oh, yeah. Her agent.

He called. His name's Phil Duke.

I know him from Hollywood
Division. He's on his way over.

She told us about him.

He said he heard about
the sh**ting on the radio.

"The telephone booth
m*ssacre," he called it.

Now he claims the girl's
his most valuable client.

When the policewoman's
finished searching,

we'll take her down to
Sybil Brand and book her.

Where is she? Where is my little
homecoming queen from West Prairie, Mo.?

Say, who's in charge around here?
Sergeant, uh, Lieutenant, anybody.

I'm looking for a chick
named Ada Hays.

Just now shot up a telephone
booth down at Union Station.

- Have you seen her?
- Fellas, this is Phil Duke.

Yeah, yeah. D-U-K-E,
Duke, like in royal.

The guy who
discovered the little lady.

Well, here she comes now.

Well, this just might
be my lucky day after all.

Uh, Ada, baby, now, relax.
Now, I am her to bail you out.

I'll just bet you are!

I mean it, sweetheart.
With my money.

- See? Here. See?
- Let me at him.

No, no. Easy, baby. Easy.

This whole thing is the
break we've been waiting for.

We are about to reap the golden
harvest, you little straight sh**t, you.

"Golden harvest"! Huh! When's
all this supposed to happen?

It's already happening.

They're talking about
you all over town.

A million bucks'
worth of publicity

for the price of a
telephone booth.

Isn't it beautiful?

So beautiful that you
are going to start work

in a picture first
thing in the morning.

I what?

A movie, baby.

The kind they make in
a studio, not in a garage.

The deal's all set.
Cross my heart.

- Now what do you say?
- I don't know.

All right. It's a walk-on,

but that's only the
beginning, honey.

Your name is going
to be up there in lights.

"Little Ada Hays from
West Prairie, Mo."

You really mean it?

I told you,

the bail money
from my own pocket.

- Would I lie?
- Yeah.

May I make a
suggestion, Miss Hays?

I wish somebody would.

We'd be happy to get
ahold of your father for you,

and I think he'd be even happier
to see you getting off the train

in West Prairie when this
whole thing is cleared up.

And spend the rest of
your life a laughingstock?

Pay no attention to them, honey.

Now, who do I see around here
about putting up some bail, huh?

Well, when bail's determined,
if you're prepared to post it,

we'll process her here.

Just be patient.

Does your father
have a telephone?

Yes.

But don't you see?

This might be my one big chance.

Why you in such a hurry?

Because, my boy,
the race is to the swift.

Opportunity knocks but once.

A bird in the hand...

Besides, you can't go back
to West Prairie a failure.

He's right, you know. They'd
laugh their fool heads off.

Everybody in town.

From homecoming
queen to homecoming flop.

I doubt that.

You don't know West Prairie.

No, sir. I've made up my mind.

When I go home, I want
to be rich and famous.

And I'm going to do
it. You wait and see.

Well, you were ready
to leave a half hour ago.

You weren't rich and
famous then, were you?

Well, I didn't go either, did I?

- Reed.
- Yeah?

- How's it going in there?
- Not so good.

It looks like the girl's fixing to
reenlist for another hitch in Hollywood.

Win a few, lose a few, right?

Sounds like you just won one.

He has. Stone just
called from the hospital.

Sam regained consciousness and
described the guy who stabbed him.

Male, Caucasian, all
right, about 22 years old.

I'd say that lets me off
the hook, wouldn't you?

I'm glad to hear it.

I'll have the girl's bail
application processed.

Why don't you and Malloy
give Donohue here a ride home?

Okay.

What's going on?
What are they saying?

Well, they're hoping you'll
change your mind probably.

You know something, Malloy?

For a cop, you're the
nicest guy I've ever met.

Okay, Mr. Duke. Time to put
your money where your mouth is.

You heard the little lady.
Take me to your leader.

Here he is.

Honey, I got a
great idea for you.

Now you listen. Now,
here's the thing we do.

First thing we do, we change
your name to Annie Oakley, okay?

All right. Now, we put two
g*ns on your hips, over here.

Lots of buttons, with
pearls all over them. See?

You know, I've been thinking about
that hick dame back at headquarters.

Somebody ought to take
that phony agent of hers out

and put a b*llet right
between his horns.

I see you're convinced
now, huh? I'm a k*ller.

Take it easy, friend.

How come you asked us to drop
you off here? Planning to leave town?

I'm hungry. They
got a restaurant there.

Besides, I heard about that
hick dame losing her suitcase.

Thought after lunch, I might
do a little rattlesnake hunting.

What's the matter, Malloy?

Can't a citizen go
hunting if he feels like it?

If he's got a license.

Since when do you need
a license to hunt snakes?

Well, thanks for the lift.

Sure you wouldn't
like a cup of coffee?

Some other time.

Hold it, Jack.

Now what's the matter?

Ever since you hit town,

anything goes down
around here, you show up

either one step ahead
of us or one step behind.

Now, you're not a cop,

and we don't need
volunteers to be judge and jury.

So that just leaves one
thing... An ax to grind.

- Go on.
- Okay.

Don't grind your ax on
my beat. You understand?

Perfectly.

- Hey, Reed, do me a favor.
- What?

Tell an old city boy how to
k*ll a rattlesnake, will you?

I keep thinking about
Donohue back there.

Like trying to retire a racehorse
in the middle of a stretch.

I feel kind of sorry for him.

- That makes two of you.
- Who's the other one? Donohue?

Haven't you noticed?

Yeah, right.

Okay. Thanks, Sarge.

They found Ada's suitcase
and Henry the rattlesnake.

Good. So much for
Donohue's snake hunt.

Where'd they find it?

On West L.A. Wonder
where the thief is by now.

Probably halfway
to San Francisco.

At least.

All units in the vicinity
in One-Adam-12.

A 459 suspect there now.

3110 Pittman Avenue.

One-Adam-12, handle, code 3.

One-Adam-12, roger.

All units in One-Adam-12.

One-Adam-59
reports a 459 suspect

from 3110 Pittman

was last seen heading
eastbound on Olivera from Pittman.

Described as a male, Caucasian,

30, 6 feet, 155
pounds, brown hair,

wearing a light sport
coat, dark shirt and tie.

Suspect is now in the
vicinity of Union Station.

One-Adam-12, roger.

That's him.

One-Adam-12, we're in foot
pursuit of the 459 suspect.

Just entered Union
Station. Request assistance.

Unit, the message on
frequency 1 not readable. Repeat.

Watch yourself.

There's a lot of stuff
out there to hide behind.

- He went in the alcove.
- It's a dead end.

Yeah. You better tell our
backup unit where we are.

This is One-Adam-12. Request
ETA on backup unit to Union Station.

One-Adam-12, I didn't
receive your request.

Roger. We have
the 459 suspect...


Cornered in an alcove.

The south side of
the station courtyard.

Request a sergeant and
a backup unit to assist us.

sh*ts are being fired.
Advise approach with caution.

One-Adam-12, roger.

All units in the vicinity of
One L-20 and One-Adam-59,

assist One-Adam-12
inside Union Station.

Okay, mister.

First the g*n, and then
you. What do you say?

Don't blow it any dumber
than you already have.

I got help on the way.

Okay, mister.
Time's running out.

What's it going to be?

I give up. I'm coming
out. Don't sh**t.

First the g*n.

Put it on the ground
and slide it out.

Okay. Here it comes.

Now you. Hands above your head.

Donohue!

You've got to k*ll them!
You've got to k*ll them!

k*ll them! k*ll them!
You've got to k*ll them!

k*ll them! k*ll them! k*ll them!

k*ll. k*ll.

k*ll.

k*ll.

k*ll them! You've
got to k*ll them!

You've got to k*ll them!
k*ll them! k*ll them! k*ll...

- You all right, partner?
- Yeah.

Bound and determined to
be a little bit of everything...

Policeman, judge and jury.

You forgot one... executioner.