02x04 - Letter of Invitation

[bunniefuu]

Is it the dragon? No. Lester. Grizzlies in :.

It's a whole pack. They're kicking up the snow.

How many? Eight. No, ten. They know we're here..

And they're headed straight for us. Get ready. Run out!

Guys! Quagmire, get down here! We need you.

Yes, sir. Quagmire! Yep.

Mayor George.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, it's the Red dragon! Look out!

That's what the band were running from.

Hey, quagmire. What the hell is this?

You better not have been slacking off.

I couldn't see it through that cloud of snow.

Damn it! Retreat! Now!

Under a.. Smokescreen. Everyone split up.

Brendan.

The.

You got it? He got it.

Let's going.

You really are something special, quagmire. You know that.

You weren't kidding about traveling the demon continent, huh? Yeah.

For real? I can't believe you actually b*at that thing.

Well, it was pretty weak already. Say, quagmire.

Don't you think it's about damn time you joined our party?

For real? You fit right in.

And I know you don't mind our company too terribly.

Yeah, but once I make a name for myself out here,

I'll have to move on again.

Sorry, but I still need to find my mother.

Thank you for protecting me out there today.

And then it appeared. A giant red dragon.

But when it seemed as though all hope was lost,

he ensnared the great beast inside his

namesake quagmire and dropped a massive boulder

on the struggling worm. Tell a different..

One. Good liquor. That's not very nice.

The hero of the story is sitting right here. Oh.

I finally found you, quagmire. Rudeus. sh*t. It was sitting right there.

Yes, ma'am. You've tracked me down at last.

I have no idea who this lady is.

Yeah, you stick out like a sore thumb,

just like she said you would.

I haven't been trying to hide. Yes,

well, I assumed you would be further out east.

What is this? Love at first sight.

Or is she just after my body? I have gotten manlier lately.

Plenty of muscle these days. ET cetera.

I'm still a growing boy after all.

What's wrong? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.

Who knew quagmire had a woman?

My name is Elena list Dragon road.

You may know this, but in case you don't,

I used to be in the same

adventuring party as your father, Paul.

Oh, yeah? Yes, indeed. I'm also a friend of Roxy's.

Really? You know my master? Where is she these days?

That can wait. Let's talk about you.

I heard you brought down a red worm all by yourself.

Yes, although it was half dead already.

I can see why Roxy boasts about you.

Does she really? That's very flattering to hear,

if a little embarrassed. And you're touching..

Me. You don't mind, do you? Mind how strong you are.

Sorry, I'm kind of confused. Do you have

a thing for me, by any chance?

Oh, yes. You're so muscular. Exactly my type.

You're a real man. I had expected

you would be more of a child still.

Okay, well, you're quite lovely yourself, Miss Selena. Lis.

Ha! Her teasing won't fluster me. I'm not some virgin.

Oh! Whoa! Wait. She's putting out some serious vibes here.

Uh, you know what? Okay, let's do this thing.

Oh my goodness. However, did you come

by this pendant? It's rough, but it's charming.

Oh, that was a gift from a friend.

A friend? Were they Elvish? Huh?

Yeah. She is. Why do you ask? No. There goes.. My sh*t.

No real reason. Just curious. Here, look at this. We match.

I guess we do. But I forget myself. Do excuse the. Come on.

I wish you wouldn't tease me like that.

Oh, dear boy, if there's one thing I never do, it's tease.

But I have no intention of becoming

Paul's daughter in law by any means.

And I would prefer to remain friends with Roxy.

So I take it you have some business here with me, then?

Yes. I've come to bring you a bit of good news. Have you now.

That day, I learned where zenith was.

The labyrinth city of Rappa. On the beggar continent,

far to the south, the other side of the world.

territories could take a year, maybe more.

Besides, winter is coming.

I'll have to stay put for the time being,

but I shouldn't have anything to worry about.

According to Elena Lee, zenith is having

a grand old time going dungeon diving and.

Don't fall over yourself to leave just yet.

We met Roxy while searching for your

family and only split up once we found where zenith was.

She and the others should have joined

up with Paul and Melissa on by now,

and made their way down to Beggary

to get her. So you can relax. Okay.

Wait. Go back. My master has been

part of the search party all this time.

Paul doesn't inspire much confidence. But if Roxy is there. Good.

Oh.

Oh. Oh, yes. Welcome back. Morning, Ellen. Elise.

I see your active, bright and early active I.

Sure. I don't know what you mean by that.

It is pretty cold today, though, so try not to catch a chill.

Over the past week, I've learned that

Ellen Elise is slutty as hell.

Like, damn, she's got a different man

in her room almost every day. Sometimes or . Oh.

The woman is a total maneater. Not

that I'm judging her for it. Of course,

I'd love to participate myself, but that's just not going to happen.

Because for two years now, I've been suffering from a certain sickness.

A sickness of both body and mind.

In short, it's Eddie and I've given up.

At a certain point, I realized no one can help me fix this,

and I don't like anyone enough to keep trying.

If all my attempts at romance are going to end in betrayal,

I'd rather just admire from afar.

I swear I'm not crying.

Oh.

Hey, this isn't what it looks like, quagmire.

I had no intention of putting my hands on your woman.

Relax, soul. It's all right. Elena, Leese

isn't and has never been my woman.

Besides, you know, I'm not exactly in working order.

Oh, yeah, right, I forgot. Sorry about that.

Didn't mean to go rubbing salt in the wound there. Anything?

I know you're fine, but it was good.

You had fun, right? Oh, yeah. She was amazing.

Well, you heard the man, Elena Leese. Rave reviews.

I know it's what I do. I'm proud to say I've never had a man

who's left unsatisfied. Really good for them.

A few of the other guys in Sole's

party have said the same to me already,

but I'm not entirely sure they think of her as a team effort.

Just do me a favor. Anything. You're

obviously free to help yourself to whomever,

but deal with the aftermath on your own. Oh, naturally. Sorry.

What are you talking about? Nothing. Don't you worry.

Now, why don't we get something to eat?

She's shameless. But she crossed the demon

con net with Roxy and then made her way here alone.

All for Paul's sake. So she's got

to be a hell of a warrior with Roxy.

That'd be nice. Oh, damn. You two. Can't a guy eat in peace?

Super not jealous or anything, but how

does this woman keep a harem of dudes

around her and still avoid drama?

I mean, as long as the fallout doesn't hit me. Whatever.

But here you are. The money I promised you.

Thank you. Milady. You know, I feel

kind of bad getting paid for something that felt that good.

Well. Stop that. Just don't get serious about me, and we're fine.

Oh, so this is kind of a reverse

prostitution thing. I guess that's okay, right?

Don't mind me just delivering your mail. Oh. Thank you.

To Lord Rudeus grey rat. I hope this letter finds you well.

I am genus, vice principal of the Rinoa University of Magic.

Wait a sec. Holy crap. That's Roxie's alma mater.

Word of your exploits is quagmire. Rudeus

has reached us here in the kingdom of Rinoa.

I understand you can cast spells without incantations.

And I've been informed that you also

studied under Roxie Mcgurdy for a king class water mage.

Should you have any desire to hone your magnificent craft further still,

Rinoa University of Magic would be honored

to welcome you as a special student. Ooh.

Sounds important. Special students are exempt from

both tuition and regular class attendance,

but retain full access to our on campus

libraries and other facilities to conduct their

own research as they see fit. Wow. Sounds like a good deal.

Would love to meet with you. Thank

you for your time and consideration.

Signed. God knows who from God knows where.

I am glad someone appreciates my two years of hard work.

And it's true that my magic's kind

of plateaued, so I am interested.

But I need to verify the authenticity of this thing.

Thank you for waiting. Oh, that special student program. Good stuff.

So you do know it? Yeah. I thought

I'd heard that you attended school there.

Can you tell me anything more about it?

Well, I didn't graduate. I dropped out in my fifth year.

But, yeah, the university will sometimes reach

out to people like you who can

cast weird spells or have tons of mana,

but aren't associated with the magician's guild yet.

Then if they get famous later, that's good publicity for the school.

Okay, I guess that tracks I do cast weird spells,

and if they do this a lot,

then it's probably not a total scam.

Wait, so you're telling me you've never been to school, quagmire?

I had a private tutor. Wow. Your

family must have been well off, then.

Sort of. We have ties to Oster and high nobility.

Right. Sorry. Remind me of your last name again.

Grey rot of the gray rotts. Oh.

Gray rat. Huh? The leash. Laws of Hasura.

What are you doing as a solo adventurer?

Way out here, then? Well. My folks.

No, I shouldn't have asked. But they went

out of their way to offer you a pretty good deal.

You might as well go down there

and hear them out at least, you know.

Yeah, and come to think of it,

the only reason I went to tutor

Iris in the first place was so I could save up tuition money.

I totally forgotten attending the university with Sylphy was the original goal.

I wonder what she's been up to all

this time. I hope she's all right.

Oh, you should listen to him. School is a wonderful option.

Especially when the only alternative would be rejoining Paul.

You think I feel like reuniting my family ought to come first.

Paul is eventually going to bring them all back to asra.

Anyway, just wait till they make it

back safely and get settled in,

and then take a shorter trip to visit them.

You're saying that because you don't want to see my father again,

aren't you? Guilty as.. Charged.

Whoa! She must really hate him. Well,

improving my skills is important, but attractive as the university's proposal is.

I don't think I can justify taking them up on it right now.

Long time no see.

Yep. Hi. What has.. It been? Two years now?

Don't feel as nasty as I did before.

Oh, you missed me, huh? That's not what I said.

Although, hey, I did try to reach out to you a bunch of times

while I was out looking for zenith.

Would it have k*lled you to show up for me even once?

I had a lot going on on my end.

Oh, yeah? Well, at least someone eventually found her.

Just feels like I lost two whole years over it.

Yeah. Sorry, but I'm glad you know where she is.

Thanks. I had no idea Roxy was

out there looking for her, too.

She's a real go getter, isn't she?

Yeah, you said it, but I hope

she gets back from Beggard sooner than later.

I can't wait to see her. Oh, dear. Are you sure you want

your master to see how pathetic you are right now?

Hey, I mean. Think about it. Eris ran out on you,

and when you finally had a good thing going with Sarah,

your little guy just wouldn't go to bat for you.

Your spell casting may have improved a little,

but you're really hitting a wall lately,

and your swordsmanship hasn't gotten any better either.

I know you practice every day, but boy,

you don't have much to show for it.

Sure, you've built some muscle, but I don't

think you can stand before her and say

with any confidence that you're a student to be proud of Rudy.

Oh, you're really letting me have it this time, huh?

How about you get to the point already?

The point is that you have a chance to shape up.

Attend the university, and I can promise you this.

You'll learn so much more than a

common adventurer could ever hope to.

What are you? Every teacher I had in high school.

Oh, wait, you just kind of threw that out there.

But is that more of your patented

godly advice? Sure, you could say that.

You do this thing where literally everything

you say sounds suspicious and creepy.

Sorry, but you really should listen. This time.

I'm giving it to you as straight as I can.

If you set out for beggar right now,

you will most assuredly regret it.

Really? Why? Can't tell you. Of course you can't.

Well, this isn't the first time you've kept something important from me.

But you've got to realize that this

whole interdimensional man of mystery thing doesn't

exactly make a strong argument for whatever you're

trying to get me to do. I'd love to take time for myself,

but I'd much rather find the rest of my family first.

I see. Well, why don't I put

it to you another way? This ought to be good.

Rudeus enroll in the Rinoa University of Magic

and investigate the displacement incident with their abundant resources.

If you do, you shall once again

regain your manly potency and more importantly, your pride. Really?

Are you saying that just by going

to school I can cure my erectile dysfunction? You are right.

Oh.

Sure enough, not a peep from the pine.

Oh oh.

Oh.

Well, okay. If it'll get better.

Thank you for everything.

Good luck kid. Take care of yourself.

So I really appreciate you. Huh? I don't

know how I can ever repay all

the things that you and your party have done for me.

He may not want to admit it,

but he's taken really good care of

me these past couple of years.

In fact, I've made pretty nice money

exploiting your ass, so thanks for that.

Anyway, safe travels and go get cured.

Yeah. I'll try. Good. Well, I'm sure

we'll have business over in Rinoa one of these days.

And when that happens, we ought to go drinking

and horn again, just the two of us.

And so I set out for the kingdom of Rinoa.

La via.