07x23 - T.V. v*olence
Posted: 12/16/23 15:06
[chuckling]
[bluesy rock music]
- A little to the right.
No, the right.
Up a little.
There, yes.
Oh, the picture is perfect.
Keep it right there.
- Hi, guys. Check it out.
My dad bought us a new satellite dish.
I'm going to be able to watch channels.
- Uh, you mean like on TV?
- Yeah. It's so cool.
- channels.
[chuckling]
- Finally, a chance to hang out together.
This is cool, huh, guys?
- Shut up, Stewart.
We're trying to watch TV.
- Yeah, yeah.
Just keep it shut.
- Now, back to "Night of the Comatose
Decapitated Undead, Part ."
[woman screaming]
- Whoa.
- Yeah, yeah.
[imitates chainsaw]
- TV v*olence rules.
- Uh, wait a minute, guys.
I don't think my mom would--
- What are you boys watching?
- Hey, hey, hey! - Uh, hey.
- Hey!
- Get out of the way, damn it.
- Sorry, boys.
But as Stewart's mother, I need to protect him
from the media's glamorous portrayals of v*olence.
There, that's better.
Why don't you watch baseball?
- Oh.
[ballpark organ music]
- There's the windup. And the pitch.
[thudding]
Oh, my God!
He beaned the batter right in the nut.
- Nads, yeah, the nads.
- I think he got him in the testicle.
Wait, the batter's rushing the pitcher's mound.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, fight.
Fight, fight!
Come on.
- This is a pretty good game.
- Hit him! Get the bat.
- Stewart, dear, please change the channel.
- Sorry, guys.
- Damn it.
What the hell is your mom's problem, Stewart?
- Yeah.
Your mom sucks.
- This next story contains scenes of graphic v*olence
that may not be appropriate for some viewers.
- Whoa. - Ah.
- Cool.
- Yeah. - That's right.
This story is full of extreme graphic v*olence.
I repeat, you may not want your children
watching this shocking, violent exclusive
eyewitness news report.
- Whoa. - Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, cool.
- ♪ I'm so glad we love each other ♪
- Ah! Hey, no. - Ugh!
- I'm sorry, boys, but I've really
got to put my foot down.
You see, I'm a mother, and it's my job
to eliminate bad influences from my little boy's life.
- Eh. - You'd be amazed
at how damaging v*olence
can be to Stewart's psyche.
Why, his father took him to a PG- movie,
and the poor boy had nightmares for a week.
So please, let's keep the TV tuned
to children's programming, okay?
- Super-dee-duper!
Oh, boy.
I'm so glad we love each other.
- Damn it, this wussy crap is pissing me off.
Come on. Come on. Get violent. Yeah.
I want to see some v*olence.
- Beavis, you dumbass.
It's just a kids' show.
Here, I'll find something violent.
- No, wait, I want to do it.
Give me that, you son of a b*tch.
- Damn it, Beavis. I'm gonna shove this
remote control right up your butt.
- Mom!
- Damn it.
This no-v*olence crap is starting to piss me off.
- Yeah, really.
What's the point of having channels
if you aren't gonna watch anything cool?
- I'm going to talk to your father
about returning that satellite dish as soon as he comes home.
All those channels do is promote v*olence.
- Whoa, look. He's got a knife.
I bet we're gonna see some v*olence.
Ah!
- It's a cooking show, dumbass.
He's just gonna, like, cut food with it.
- Ah, damn it, Butt-Head!
Change it back, or I swear I'll rip your bunghole off.
I'm gonna kick you in the nads.
- These baby rabbits will spend a full year
by their mother's side, that is,
unless this hungry wolf finds them first.
[howling]
- Whoa.
Wait a minute. - Yeah.
[growling] Yeah, yeah.
[squealing]
[REM's "Shiny Happy People"]
♪ ♪
- Happiness.
[chuckling]
- You said "penis."
Just thought I'd tell you.
- I know.
Why do you think they call it happiness?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, because like, you know--
it's like your wiener--
when your wiener is happy, you're happy.
- Yeah.
[chuckling]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Gold and silver shine ♪
- You know, I wasn't feeling very good
when the song started, but I feel pretty good now.
I'm feeling pretty happy and shiny.
- Shut up, Beavis.
You're a miserable piece of crap.
- Shut up, Butt-Head.
I'm happier than you.
- No way, Beavis.
You're miserable because, like, nobody likes you.
Chicks don't like you.
You're not good at anything.
[chuckling]
- Yeah, but I'm hung like a horse.
- Uh.
[chuckling]
♪ ♪
- Yep, feeling pretty good.
Shiny happy people. Yeah.
[vocalizing]
Shiny happy people.
Ah!
- ♪ Shiny happy people holding hands ♪
♪ ♪
♪ People! ♪
♪ Happy people! ♪
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
[bluesy rock music]
- A little to the right.
No, the right.
Up a little.
There, yes.
Oh, the picture is perfect.
Keep it right there.
- Hi, guys. Check it out.
My dad bought us a new satellite dish.
I'm going to be able to watch channels.
- Uh, you mean like on TV?
- Yeah. It's so cool.
- channels.
[chuckling]
- Finally, a chance to hang out together.
This is cool, huh, guys?
- Shut up, Stewart.
We're trying to watch TV.
- Yeah, yeah.
Just keep it shut.
- Now, back to "Night of the Comatose
Decapitated Undead, Part ."
[woman screaming]
- Whoa.
- Yeah, yeah.
[imitates chainsaw]
- TV v*olence rules.
- Uh, wait a minute, guys.
I don't think my mom would--
- What are you boys watching?
- Hey, hey, hey! - Uh, hey.
- Hey!
- Get out of the way, damn it.
- Sorry, boys.
But as Stewart's mother, I need to protect him
from the media's glamorous portrayals of v*olence.
There, that's better.
Why don't you watch baseball?
- Oh.
[ballpark organ music]
- There's the windup. And the pitch.
[thudding]
Oh, my God!
He beaned the batter right in the nut.
- Nads, yeah, the nads.
- I think he got him in the testicle.
Wait, the batter's rushing the pitcher's mound.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, fight.
Fight, fight!
Come on.
- This is a pretty good game.
- Hit him! Get the bat.
- Stewart, dear, please change the channel.
- Sorry, guys.
- Damn it.
What the hell is your mom's problem, Stewart?
- Yeah.
Your mom sucks.
- This next story contains scenes of graphic v*olence
that may not be appropriate for some viewers.
- Whoa. - Ah.
- Cool.
- Yeah. - That's right.
This story is full of extreme graphic v*olence.
I repeat, you may not want your children
watching this shocking, violent exclusive
eyewitness news report.
- Whoa. - Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, cool.
- ♪ I'm so glad we love each other ♪
- Ah! Hey, no. - Ugh!
- I'm sorry, boys, but I've really
got to put my foot down.
You see, I'm a mother, and it's my job
to eliminate bad influences from my little boy's life.
- Eh. - You'd be amazed
at how damaging v*olence
can be to Stewart's psyche.
Why, his father took him to a PG- movie,
and the poor boy had nightmares for a week.
So please, let's keep the TV tuned
to children's programming, okay?
- Super-dee-duper!
Oh, boy.
I'm so glad we love each other.
- Damn it, this wussy crap is pissing me off.
Come on. Come on. Get violent. Yeah.
I want to see some v*olence.
- Beavis, you dumbass.
It's just a kids' show.
Here, I'll find something violent.
- No, wait, I want to do it.
Give me that, you son of a b*tch.
- Damn it, Beavis. I'm gonna shove this
remote control right up your butt.
- Mom!
- Damn it.
This no-v*olence crap is starting to piss me off.
- Yeah, really.
What's the point of having channels
if you aren't gonna watch anything cool?
- I'm going to talk to your father
about returning that satellite dish as soon as he comes home.
All those channels do is promote v*olence.
- Whoa, look. He's got a knife.
I bet we're gonna see some v*olence.
Ah!
- It's a cooking show, dumbass.
He's just gonna, like, cut food with it.
- Ah, damn it, Butt-Head!
Change it back, or I swear I'll rip your bunghole off.
I'm gonna kick you in the nads.
- These baby rabbits will spend a full year
by their mother's side, that is,
unless this hungry wolf finds them first.
[howling]
- Whoa.
Wait a minute. - Yeah.
[growling] Yeah, yeah.
[squealing]
[REM's "Shiny Happy People"]
♪ ♪
- Happiness.
[chuckling]
- You said "penis."
Just thought I'd tell you.
- I know.
Why do you think they call it happiness?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, because like, you know--
it's like your wiener--
when your wiener is happy, you're happy.
- Yeah.
[chuckling]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Gold and silver shine ♪
- You know, I wasn't feeling very good
when the song started, but I feel pretty good now.
I'm feeling pretty happy and shiny.
- Shut up, Beavis.
You're a miserable piece of crap.
- Shut up, Butt-Head.
I'm happier than you.
- No way, Beavis.
You're miserable because, like, nobody likes you.
Chicks don't like you.
You're not good at anything.
[chuckling]
- Yeah, but I'm hung like a horse.
- Uh.
[chuckling]
♪ ♪
- Yep, feeling pretty good.
Shiny happy people. Yeah.
[vocalizing]
Shiny happy people.
Ah!
- ♪ Shiny happy people holding hands ♪
♪ ♪
♪ People! ♪
♪ Happy people! ♪
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪