[Beavis and Butt-Head chuckling]
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
[Butt-head grunts]
- [chuckles]
I'm gonna kick Stewart's ass.
- [grunts] Yeah.
I can't believe he moved the Hide-A-Key.
[thud] [grumbles]
[TV static drones] - Warning.
The following feature presentation is not rated.
It contains scenes of full-frontal nudity
and extreme v*olence.
Viewer discretion is advised.
- Yes! - Yes! Yes!
[both chuckle]
- Discretion is cool.
- Pay-per-view rules. [thudding at door]
It rules. [chortles]
[thud, crash]
- Whoa. [chuckles]
Who are you guys?
- We're the damn moving men.
Who the hell are you?
- Uh, we're, like,
these dudes that Stewart knows. [snickers]
- Yeah?
Well, he don't live here no more.
- Yeah, yeah, GWAR!
- Cool. - Yeah, yeah, all right.
[both chuckle] Yeah.
Whoa, GWAR has horns now?
- Yeah, they taught the sex slaves to play horns.
- Yeah, yeah. [both snicker]
- It's like, Balsac told 'em, "Throwing blood and urine
"in the audience isn't enough.
You guys need to learn to play something."
- Yeah, yeah, really.
[both chuckle]
♪ ♪
- I heard that one time this kid had, like, a seizure
at a GWAR concert and that singer dude
told everybody not to help him.
- Really? - Yeah.
[both snicker]
- Uh-oh.
[both chuckle]
It's happening.
[grunting and groaning]
- I'm not gonna help you.
Oderus Urungus would want it that way.
- Yeah, yeah.
Thanks, Butt-Head. [both snicker]
- ♪ They were the ones who could rise with the sun ♪
♪ As they lived with their planes ♪
♪ And they died and they died ♪
♪ And they died ♪ - Whoa, check it out.
♪ He died and he died and he died ♪
♪ And he died and he died ♪
♪ And he died and he died and he died and he died ♪
[thud] Ahh!
[both chuckle]
Oh, thanks, Butt-Head. I was stuck.
Um. Whoa, cool!
Look at that giant worm thing, Butt-Head.
- It's like that worm eats up really hot chicks
and then it, like, takes a dump.
- Yeah, yeah.
Now that's a damn good show right there.
[both chuckle] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They shall drown in their own blood.
- The streets will flow with the blood
of the non-believers.
- The mother of all wars has begun.
[both chuckle]
- That would be cool if they had, like,
a GWAR marching band. Beavis: Mm-hmm.
- And if, like, they could form a big wiener.
Beavis: Yeah. - And then they could, like,
spray sl*ve urine into the crowd.
- Yeah, yeah. That would be cool.
[both snicker]
You know what would be cool, too,
is if, like, they sprayed sl*ve urine
on, like, helpless people.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
Up your butt with people.
[both snicker]
- ♪ If you survive what falls out of his mind ♪
♪ You'll make the political world ♪
♪ World, world, world ♪
[moaning]
- Whoa, check it out, Butt-Head, a naked chick.
Yeah!
- Cool. [chuckles]
- Maybe you didn't hear me.
Your little pal moved away, so get the hell out.
- Come on, get out of the way. There's a naked chick.
Yeah.
- Yeah, butt-munch.
- I said get out.
- [chuckles]
These guys are cool.
- Yeah.
[both chuckle]
- Hmm.
His and her Barcaloungers.
Might be worth something.
- Check it out, Harlan.
It's one of them smoking devices.
[both laugh]
- Uh, that's Stewart's chemistry set.
- Yeah, I can show you how to melt the carpet with it.
- Oops.
[both laugh]
- I thought moving men aren't supposed to break stuff.
- Listen here, punk, we don't have
any use for this kind of crap.
We just want the good stuff.
- See? Crap.
[both chuckle]
- These are the coolest dudes I've ever met.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
Me too.
- On the other hand, this TV, for example,
see, I could get maybe bucks for this baby.
- Uh, Harlan, buddy.
- Um...
tell you what, boys,
you help us locate the quality merchandise
around this dump,
maybe you can be movers like us someday.
- We want to be the kind of movers
that take the cool stuff.
- Yeah, and then, like, take all the crap
and break it, break it, break it!
Yeah. [snickers]
- You boys are quick learners.
- There's usually cool stuff in here.
- Whoa, here's one!
[snickers] Yeah.
- Check it out.
[chuckles]
- Yeah. Her boobs aren't too big.
But when she wears this--
- Damn it, quit screwing around.
- Let me explain, boys.
We're looking for anything maybe hidden or secret.
You know, like nobody knows about it.
- Uh, I know.
Hey, Beavis.
[whispering] Know where he's got those things
with lots of big hooters? [both chuckle]
- Oh, yeah.
[snickering]
- Keep going, boys.
You're bound to find something cool.
- Here it is, dudes.
- Yeah.
Stewart's dad's dirty magazines.
[snickers] Yeah.
- We've torn out all the pages with butts on 'em,
but there's still plenty of good boobs left.
- Yeah. [both chuckle]
- Yo, Harlan, we gotta hit the road, man.
- Thanks, anyway, boys.
Maybe next time.
- Hey, wait.
So, like, when do we get to be movers?
- Yeah, like when do we get to break stuff?
[chuckles]
- Well, yeah, why don't you boys practice breaking stuff
around the house?
But we gotta be moving on.
- Someday, Beavis, that will be us.
- Yeah.
Cool. [snickers]
[engine sputters] [men laughing]
- Uh, well, we better get started breaking stuff.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
We need to practice. [shattering]
[thudding] Yeah, yeah!
Break it! Break it! [shatters]
[Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy"]
- [whistling melody]
♪ ♪
- I heard this dude, like, did this whole song
just by, like, whistling and singing
and slapping his butt and stuff.
- Whoa, really? [chuckling]
I think I'm gonna try that. - Yeah.
- ♪ Here's a little song I wrote ♪
- So am I. [chuckles]
[grunts] - Ahh!
Cut it out, Butt-Head.
- ♪ Don't worry ♪
[both chuckle]
♪ Be happy ♪
♪ ♪
- Don't worry, Beavis. Be happy.
- Shut up, Butt-Head. I'm not worried.
[both snicker] - Oh, yeah?
Does this worry you?
[grunt, thud] - Ahh!
Cut it out, Butt-Head!
I'm gonna play drums on your nads with my foot!
- I'd like to see you try, butt-knocker.
- Don't call me that, Butt-Head!
[whack] - Ahh!
I'm gonna play drums on your face, butt knocker.
- Shut up, Butt-Head! I'm gonna kick your ass!
Cut it out! - Butt-knocker!
- Cut it out! - Butt-knocker!
[grunting, whacking] - Ahh!
Shut up! Shut up!
[thudding, groaning]
- Okay, the fight's over. I won.
- No, you didn't, Butt-Head. I won.
[both chortle]
- Dumbass. - Yeah.
- ♪ Make a smile, don't worry ♪
♪ ♪
- Whoa, check it out. It's Mrs. Doubtfire.
- Oh, yeah.
[both chuckle]
- I don't think that guy is very funny.
- Yeah.
It's like, he tries to talk really fast
so you won't notice that he's not very funny.
- Yeah, yeah.
I think he was, like, funny like a long time ago,
like, but it was, like, really fast.
- Uh...
okay. [both snicker]
[whack] - Ahh!
[clattering]
- Uh, well, I guess that's everything.
- Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
Yeah, let's, like, break everything again.
Yeah. [chuckles]
- Uh, they're back. [chuckles]
- Yeah, I bet they'd hire us.
- Yeah.
We did a good job.
[chuckles]
[both gasp] - Holy--
- Oh, dear!
- [snickers]
How's it going?
- Beavis?
Butt-Head?
What happened?
Where's the couch?
Where's the TV?
- Uh, the movers took it, dude.
- Oh!
Movers? You idiots!
We've been robbed!
- Robbed? [chuckles]
We were here all day. We didn't see any robbers.
- You guys are in big trouble.
- Whose dirty magazine is this?
"Wet Hooters?"
- Uh, uh, I--
hell, I don't know.
Stewart?
- Hey, Butt-Head, how come Stewart's dad's so pissed?
- Uh, I don't know.
Maybe their new house sucked even worse than this one.
- Yeah.
We got robbed! We got robbed!
[both snicker]
- You little twerp! - Wait!
- Yeah. - Idiot!
- But--but-- - What a dork.
[both chuckling]]
[Dinosaur Jr.'s "Feel the Pain"]
- All right, golf! Yeah.
I'm up for this. [both chuckle]
- Yeah.
- All right. Yeah.
[both chuckle]
- Yeah, check this out.
[quietly] He's teeing off.
He's using his woody.
- Um, he's trying to get a bung-hole-in-one.
[both snicker]
- We see some dork riding a tricycle
down the street. - Yeah, yeah.
[both chuckle]
- He's in the rough.
- Whoa, look, a fight!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Hit him!
- [chuckles]
- If they had fights in golf, maybe it would be cool.
- Yeah, yeah, then maybe I'd watch it.
- You watch golf all the time, Beavis.
- Um, oh, yeah. Yeah.
[snickers]
Golf is cool. [both snicker]
- Check this out.
It looks like he's gonna use his -iron
to smash the big, fat dead guy's face in.
- That's right, Butt-Head.
I think what he's planning on doing
is smashing his glasses in
and shoving the -iron up his bung hole.
[both chuckle]
- It looks straight.
Ooh, he's in the water.
And it'll cost him a stroke.
- That's right, Butt-Head. Oh, I don't believe it.
He's gonna actually try to-- it looks like it's gonna, um--
gonna go, um--
- You can't do it, Beavis.
Shut up. - Shut up, Butt-Head.
You weren't that good.
- You're not good at anything. [chuckles]
- Check this out. That's right, Butt-Head.
That's gonna cost him two strokes.
He's probably gonna--um.
Damn it! Damn it!
- See, Beavis, you can't do it.
[both snicker]
Beavis is a complete wuss
and he's not good at anything.
[both snicker]
His mom is a slut.
[both snickering]
♪ ♪
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
05x16 - Stewart Moves Away
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.
Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.