01x24 - Pig Amok/Sun Cow

[bunniefuu]

[Man] I'm just heading to the fields, duke.

I'll be back.

[Engine rumbling]

Clear!

[Rollicking square dance music]

[Otis] all right!

♪

Ratabunga!

[Man] ♪ from the haystacks

♪ Up to the hilltops

♪ We're going dancing...

[Otis] whoo-hoo!

Ow! Ow!

Okay, ow. Ow!

[Man] ♪ do-si-do your partner now

♪ There's a party till the morning light ♪

♪ Do-si-do

♪ And don't you know

♪ It's just the way we animals roll ♪

[Motorcycle engine revving]

Ah-ha!

[Dreamy science fiction music]

♪

Mmm, coconut creamy swirls,

Take me away.

Temptress, I can no longer resist your charms.

I must have you.

Mwah!

You realize that I'm gonna have to put the hurt on you.

Huh?

[Humming]

Hold that thought.

Temptress, I can no longer resist your charms.

[Screams]

Come back. I must have you.

Otis, does pig seem to be acting odd to you?

Pig? Odd? What are you talking about?

Butter churn, I can no longer resist your charms.

Hold me.

Abby, what pig and the butter churn have

Is beautiful,

And I won't let you destroy it.

Mm-mm-mwah!

Okay, now it's getting weird.

Hey, pig, you feeling all right?

What's that supposed to mean, huh?

No one talks to me like that.

Aah!oh, it's over, rover.

[Duke] aaagh!

What's going on?

[Pig] I am so angry.

[Duke] he's off his nut.

Oh, duke, I'm so lonely.

[Barks]

Now I'm angry again-- very, very angry.

[Abby] clear!

[Pig glugging]

Ah...oh...

Pigster, how can I put this delicately?

[Yells]what the heck is wrong with you?

I'm sorry.

I can't talk about it.

It's just too personal.

You can trust us, pig.

We promise not to laugh.

[Whispers] he kissed a butter churn.

[Chuckles]

All right,

But prepare yourselves for the shocking truth

About the birds, the bees, and the pigs.

[Gleeful music]

When pigs reach a certain age,

Amazing changes begin to happen to their young bodies.

They gain pounds,

Grow thick, bushy ear hair,

And begin to desire piggy companionship.

If the pig doesn't get it,

He grows cranky, delusional, violent, even.

Eventually, he may even explode.

Huh?

Wow, that was very educational.

I'll say. What else is on?

[Dog barks][man sings]

Happy little tree right here.

Give me that.

Guys, my special time has come.

Tomorrow I must leave this place,

Return to the ancestral mud hole where I was spawned,

And take a wife.

[Gasps] a wife?

Oh, that's wonderful!

Pig, we had no idea.

We'll do whatever we can to help.

You want us to come with you on your big old epic journey?

Well, according to tradition,

I am allowed to bring my closest friend.

Oh, pig, I am honored.

What do you say,skunky?

Who's my good skunky?

Who wants to go on an epic journey?

You do.

Oh...

Oh, what the hey?

I guess I could bring more than one close friend.

Oh, pig, I am honored beyond words.

[Pig] abby, are you in?

Oh.for a weddin'?

You bet. Whoo-hoo!

Freddy, peck, pip?

Absolutely.can I be the ringbearer?

How 'bout you, sheep?

Would you just pick me already?

I was getting to you.

Really? I hardly know what to say.

You know, if it weren't for you guys,

I don't think I could make it through this stressful time.

We're there for you,buddy.

What's that supposed to mean?

Are you trying to tick me off?

Let me at him.

Let me at him!

[Duke] keep him away from me!

He's out of his mind!

[Eerie zapping]

Bizarro doorbell.

[Pig] thanks for coming with me, guys.

[Pip] where is everybody?

Oh, they like to keep to themselves.

I should warn you

That I'm from a rare, exotic race of pigs.

Our ways may seem a bit strange to you.

Please; you're a pig.

How strange could they possibly be?

[Gong crashes]

[Exotic music]

[Whispering] who's the old guy, and why is he on a dessert tray?

Otis, that's my great-aunt gertie.

She's the matriarch of our ancient clan,

And by the way, don't mention her mole.

Ewww.

Pig, are our ceremonies for nonpigs?

I can explain, aunt gertie.

These are my best friends in the entire world.

I think he means me.

I can't wait to be introduced.

Let me introduce skunky.

Skunky, we bid thee welcome.

They'll probably bid me welcome next.

And this is abby, pip, freddy, peck,

And of course-- hey, where's duke?

[Otis] ah-ha-hem.

Hello, I'm otis, sir--ma'am.

Enormous mole.

Oh, that's otis.

He's nice too.

What thee are about to see

Comes down from the beginning.

Bring forth the bride. Reika!

[Gong crashes]

[Pig] guys, meet brunhilda.

She who is going to be my wife.

[Gasps] oh, she's beautiful.

Pig, you lucky dog.

I'm not going to cry.

I am not going to cry.

[Belches] jerk!

'Bout time you showed up.

Are these your worthless friends?

[Belches]

I want pie!

Did I bring my migraine medicine?

Is it my imagination,

Or does she not seem very nice?

Well, I don't know. Pig seems to like her.

That's because he's all itched up on pig love.

Don't you remember the filmstrip?

[Giggles]

[Abby] oh, right.

Yo, moron!

Why am I not married yet?

Get your lazy butt in gear asap!

Yes, my sweaty queen.

I'm gonna say something.

Uh, excuse me, uncle gertie.

There must be some mistake.

We thought pig would be marrying someone

Who didn't have spiders in her soul.

There is no mistake.

They are betrothed,

And once they are wed, they will be together forever.

Reika!

[Gong crashes]

I wish he'd stop doing that.

[Pig] with this cup, I pledge my trough.

Blah! You got your germs on it.

Jeez, are you an idiot or what?

Dost thou have the ring?

Duh! Yeah, I got the ring.

I got to do something.

Once she gets that ring on him,

He'll be stuck with her for life.

Hold still, blubber butt.

Oh, oh, I love you.ouch!

[Gong crashes]

That's it! Time-out!

Who dares?

I dares.

This isn't fair.

Pig is not in his right mind.

I'm not gonna let him marry someone

Who won't make him happy.

Cup pain!jerk!

I'll destroy you!

[Otis] agh! Get it off me! Get it off me!

Hit it with a pan!

Kali phee![Tambourines jingling]

Those who would challenge a marriage

Must submit to the ultimate trial:

A pig-off.

No, not a pig-off!

What's a pig-off?

The challenger must vie against the groom.

If the cow wins, the marriage will be canceled.

I vie, big-time.

Otis, you can't fight pig.

He's your best friend.

Don't worry.

In pig's crazed, lovesick state,

I can take him easy.

The first event, the belly butt.

[Otis screams]

Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ooh!

Thou hast lost the first challenge.

Prepare thyself for the truffle hunt!

Kali phee!

[Laughing]

[Clanging]

Thank you.

[Otis] I got this one, guys.

Pig's definitely weakening.

Hey, porky, you win this, I might kiss you...

On our tenth anniversary!

Whooa-whoa, whoa, whoa!

[Jackhammer drilling]

[Panting]

[Sputtering]

[Triumphant fanfare]

Just one basket?

You worthless pig slime!

Thou hast lost the second challenge.

Onto the eating contest.

[Gong crashes]

It's starting to grow on me.

[Sputters]

Otis, this is hopeless.

You can't b*at pig in an eating contest.

She's right.

Pig once ate an entire outboard motor,

No condiments.

I have to b*at him,

Or he'll be miserable for the rest of his life.

Now follow me.

Um, someone, dig me out.

Yech! Broccoli?

Why broccoli?

Pigs love broccoli.

It is nature's broom.

You can do it, otis.

Okay, just close your eyes

And pretend it's nachos.

Yeah, green, disgusting nachos. Thanks.

[Gong crashes]

[Munching wildly]

Chew, otis. Chew!

[All cheering simultaneously]

Mr. Worthless, I'm warning you.

For you, my dear.

Terrible.

Faster, otis. You're flailing behind.

Oh, I hate my life. Oh...

[Munching wildly]

Num, num.

[Munching wildly]

[Sighs]

Done!

Open.

Hmm...

Thou art victorious!

Ha! You're mine now, loser.

Bring your snout over here.

Yes, my love.

Oh, ow. I suddenly don't feel very good.

Impossible.

Broccoli is very healthy.

It has lots of vitamin "k."

Well, that explains-- vitamin "k"?

I'm allergic to vitamin "k."

Dude, how allergic?

Haaa.heeee.

He-jah.oh...

Pretty allergic.thump!

[All gasp]otis!

Huh?what?

Whuh?

Otis, don't do this.

Oh, this is all my fault.

Live! Live, darn you.

[Sobbing]

Oh, no. Poor otis.

It can't end this way.

Serves him right.

Now you're mine, porkhead...forever.

[Laughing]

That's right. Carry me across the threshold.

Then take out the garbage and buff my calluses.

Hey!

Splash!

Hey, what's the idea?

[Claps]

[Honking]

I abjure thee, madame,

And sever all bonds between us.

You can't do that!

Eh, talk to the hoof.

Hey, you're not crazy in love anymore.

The shock must have snapped you out of it.

Who cares? It's too late.

I let a terrible thing happen.

I grieve for thee, pig.

You may go now.

Live long and wallow.

I shall do neither, aunt gertie,

For I have induced broccoli poisoning

In my best friend.

Best friend! Ha! I knew it!

In your faces, jerks!

Otis! You're alive!

Yes, I am.

We were so scared.

You were faking the whole time.

Correct!

Knowing that I was pig's best friend--

Uh, way more so than any of you--

I cleverly faked my own death,

Confident that the terrible loss and shock

Would break the hold that the she-banshee

Held over him.

So you're really okay?

No, no, I'm not.

Three of my four stomachs are ruined forever.

Now, if you'll excuse me, nature's mop and I

Have a date with the outhouse.

Hey, cow.

You're lookin' good.

Oh, madame, i--

There's gonna be a weddin' today

If it's my last breath!

Help! Help!

Help! Pig!

Kali phee![Gong crashes]

[Brunhilda] come on, cow!

You know you love me.

[Dreamy science fiction music]

[Traditional asian music]

♪

Hey, fellas, I'm ready to play.

Say, why do they call this game "cream the critter," anyway?

Thwap![Grunts]

I think that sums it up ni--thwap!

Ha, ha, ha-ha, ha!

[All talking at once]

[Garbled speech]

[Otis] get him! Get him!

I got the ball. I got it.

I got it. It's mine.

Get back. I got it.

Impact.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you.

That new cow farm that moved in next door

Put up a wall last night.

Say, thanks for the timely update.

Okay, guys, you know the drill.

Eeny, meeny, miney, moe;

You get the ball 'cause you're the schmo.

Oh, man, I have consistently bad schmo-finger.

Well, whatever. Let's go get it.

Come on, I'll give you a boost.

Splat!oh!

[Pip] bad idea.

[Otis yelling]

Thud!

[Monotone chanting] moo...

Moo...

Whoa, I don't think these guys

Are from around here.

What? Nah, I'm sure they are.

It doesn't matter.

Besides, other cultures love me.

Check it out.

Excuse me!

[Megaphone feeds back]

We are friends.

We get ball now.

No! That bonsai is , years old.

[Grunting]

Oh!

Oopsie.

You might want to water your trees a little more.

They're lookin' a little shrimpy.

[Groaning]

Anyway, gots to go.

Well, somebody's a grumpy guppy.

Come on, give me some happy.

Who's got a smile?

I know it's in that little face.

Come on.

Uh, otis? He doesn't look like--

[Battle cry]

[Groans sharply]

For this dishonor,

You will be punted over the wall,

The wall which you recently scaled

To achieve entrance to our property.

[Otis] no, no, we get it.

You don't do the neighbor thing.

We're gonna leave now.

[Gasps]look.

Oh...ooh....

What? So I put on a few.

I'm working on it.

Bring him to the wise one.

Oh, great wise one,

We've brought this stranger who--

Silence!

The wise one knows all.

Mmm, yes.

Oh, yes.

Uh, that's me.

I knew that.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Okay, that's my eye.

The udder. Feel the udder.

Silence!

The wise one is getting to that.

Yeah, listen, I just--

Cold hoof! Cold hoof!

[Gasps] you have an extra fifth udder,

Just like the sacred sun cow of legend.

Lo.

[Ominous musical flourish]

[Flourish repeats]

[Gong crashes]

Hey, otis, he thinks

That bee sting you got the other day

Is a fifth udder.

Really? That's weird.

I'm losing consciousness.

Thud!

Your coming has been prophesied,

But we must test you to make sure

You are the reincarnated sun tao.

Tested? No way.

Guys, there's been a misunderstanding.

If you pass, you will be exalted as a deity

And live the rest of your life in luxury.

I do loves me some testing.

Good.

We shall commence in hours.

From now?

No, from thursday.

Yes, from now.

Guys, guys.

You'll never guess who's a reincarnated sun god.

Hey, what are you doing with my stuff?

-Minute rule.

You leave, we get your stuff.

I got his toothpaste.

[Otis] that's hoof ointment.

Mmm, minty.

Guys, listen.

The new cows next door think I'm some kind of god.

Ha, ha. How about that?

All I got to do is pass some dumb test,

And I get to live in opulent luxury.

What kind of morons would worship you?

All hail otis.

Come on, guys, help me pass,

And you can all ride my coattails.

I don't know, otis.

We got it pretty good here.

Oh, come on. Think big.

Pig, you can finally splurge

On that fancy imported garbage you like.

You mean garbahge?yes!

And, abby, you'll have a servant

To listen to your blabbity--

I mean your fascinatingly blabbity stories

All day long.

Oh, can me and peck get two connected unicycles

That we can ride around on together?

That's called a bicycle, and yes!

[Together] we're in.

Great! So you're all with me?

[Together] yes!

No!it's unanimous.

Unanimously stupid.

Says here the reincarnated sun cow

Must be completely impervious to pain...

My pain threshold is very high.

Be able to catch a fly with chopsticks...

Hand-eye coordination. I'm all over it.

And he has to fly.

What? That can't be right.

Otis, the internet does not lie.

Ding!

Hey, a nigerian prince

Needs us to deposit money in his account.

That poor prince.

I'll punch in the farmer's credit card numbers.

Hang in there, your highness.

Okay, otis. Step one.

You got to be impervious to pain.

Right. Give me your best sh*t.

And don't hold back.

Now, I know we're all friends here,

And you might be hesitant to--

Crash!

Do you feel any pain?

[Weakly] I don't feel anything.

Moving on.

Okay, step two:

Catching a common housefly with chopsticks.

Oh. Gah.

Oh, man, how am I supposed to catch a fly with chopsticks

If I can't even hold them?

Hey, good news, everyone.

I convinced my friend manny the fly

To help us out.

When I give the signal,

Manny will fly into the end of your chopsticks

So it'll look like you caught him.

Great idea, pig.

Let's do a practice run.

Show him what you got, manny.

[Fly buzzing]

A fly! I'll get him!

Splat!

Noooo!

[Restrained organ music]

Manny was a friend of mine.

In his hours on earth,

He touched so many of us.

And now, here to say a few words

Is his brother theo.

[Fly buzzing]

A fly! I'll get him!

Nooooo!

Step three.

The reincarnated sun cow has to fly.

Right. I can't do that.

You can do it if you just believe.

Uh, that is wrong.

Me flying is a physical--

Whoa-ohh!

[Yelling]

I'm doing it.

I'm flying.

I'm flying!

Thud!

My body's sad.

[Groans]

[Otis] well, guys, the sun cow is here.

What's it gonna be?

Hit me with a piano? Fly funeral?

Soaring through the clouds?

None of these.

Whuh? But the internet said--

Those tests are old-school.

These days, all sun cow reincarnations

Are determined by dance skills.

Kick it.click!

[Funky guitar music]

Otis, you got served in a bowl with a spoon.

What are you gonna do now?

What am I gonna do?

I'm gonna do a little thing called

The pencil sharpener.

[All cheering]

♪

Next up, shopping cart.

[All cheering]

Now buckle up and drive the bus.

Drive the bus.

And go for the zombie.

Look at him go. Look at him go.

That's how we roll with it.

And...sun cow.

[All gasp]

Clearly, you have the skills

To pay the prophesized bills.

[Together] sun cow.

[Twinkling]

Mmm, sacredly delicious.

[Slurping]

Man, that is good garbahge.

And people don't realize he was just an amazing athlete

But she affect foreign policy in so many ways.

And that woman's name was mary lou retton.

Did you know she also rescues wolverines

And releases them into the wild?

[Freddy] connected unicycles coming through.

They subsist almost entirely...

[Claps]

It is time for the sun cow sacred bath.

All friends must leave.

Sorry, guys. What can I say?

Sacred bath time.

They have to remove my chosen filth.

Okay, otis. Enjoy your bath.

[Freddy] race you back on our two connected unicycles.

[Pip] whoop. Forgot my cell phone.

Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.

Say, this sacred bathwater smells kind of tangy.

Is not water.

Is teriyaki sauce.

Make your meat nice and tender.

Oh, teriyaki sauce.

Yeah, that makes per-- whuh?

All sun cows are served up at the thursday special

At captain kabuki's steak house.

It is a great honor.

B-but I'm not really the sun cow.

This fifth udder, it's really a bee bite.

Guys, wait up!

No one refuses this honor.

Restrain him!

[Otis yelling]

No, you don't have to-- [grunts]

[Sighs]

Red alert. Red alert.

Otis is in trouble.

What do you mean?

They're soaking him in teriyaki sauce.

They're gonna serve him for dinner

At captain kabuki's steak house.

[Peck] oh, no, poor otis.

Who cares?

He deserves whatever he's gotten into,

Plus more for being ugly.

No, we got to save him.

To the two connected unicycles!

Wait, there's got to be a better way.

What would mary lou retton do?

Not again.oh, here we go.

[Comical battle cries]

[Deep rumbling]

Crash!

[Both gasp]

[Steam hissing]

[Chuckles] whoopsie.

They were disguising themselves as a fearsome dragon.

Who do they think they are?

Mary lou retton?

Get them!

[Sustained battle cries]

[Battle cries]

Stop!

I shall agree to be thursday's special.

Just let my friends go.

Otis, do you know what you're sayin'?

Not really. I'm woozy from the teriyaki.

Your loyalty impresses me, sun cow.

I will release your friends

If you defeat me in blindfolded combat!

[Guards gasping]

Deal. Aah...

[Ominous music]

♪

[Sticks whooshing]

[Otis gibbering]

[Wise one gibbering]

Ay-yai-yai!

Wha-aah!

[Gibbering]

[Sobbing wildly]

[All gasp]

Wise one,

He's grown a sixth udder.

Impossible!

I told you.

The other one was just a bee sting.

Oh... [Chuckles]

,-Year-old egg on my face.

You are all free to go.

[All cheer]

Thanks for inviting us to your honorable tea party.

If we are to be neighbors, we must bury all animosity.

Please, allow me to pour.

Oh, pour away.

Just a half a cup, though. Caffeine makes me--

[Yelling]

Okay. Getting a little hot.

[Rollicking square dance music]

♪