I tell you.
My little sister, megan,
She's really
Starting to grow up.
Ah, little megan.
She's not a baby anymore.
I remember when she was just
Nine years old.
I remember
Back about four years ago.
The stunts she pulled
Were so childish.
Her pranks
Just used to be so simple.
Like the time
She rubbed my clean underwear
With bacon fat.
Like the time
She buttered the stairs,
You know,
So I'd slip and fall
And hurt myself.
Then she got a little older
And her pranks got more clever.
And then her pranks
Got more sophisticated.
Like when I was in a hot tub
And she put two baby sharks
In the water.
Like when she told the police
I buried josh in the backyard.
Ah, megan.
Oh, megan.
Yeah, that's right,
A manicure and a pedicure.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's not for my wife.
It's for me.
[Laughter]
Ma'am, i--you know,
Lots of men get--
Ma'am?
I can't get
This stupid jar open.
Just tap the lid
With a Kn*fe.
Thanks for the tip, dad.
Josh.
Josh.
Hey, watch out.
Oh.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
Oh, man, you got
Broken glass in your arm.
It's not important right now.
Check out this new toy.
Clackers.
What are clackers?
The hottest toy
In the netherlands.
Watch the balls.
And now, rapid clacking.
I wanna try.
Here, here.
I got you a pair.
Sweet.
All right, ready?
Now do what I do.
Yeah.
And now, punch it.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
I love these.
I know.
Hey, let's go clack
In the living room.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
Okay.
What don't I meet you by the--
Bye.
Who were you
On the phone with?
I wasn't on the phone.
Yeah, you were.
We saw you.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, we did.
We were standing right here.
Coming, mom.
Mom's not even home.
You're not home.
* I never thought
* That it'd be so simple
* But I found a way
* I found a way
* If you open up your mind
* It's gonna take some time
* To realize
* But if you look inside
* I'm sure you'll find
* Over your shoulder
* You know that I told you
* I always be picking you up
* When you're down
* So just turn around
* Ooh
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
What is that noise?
I can hear it all the way--
Are those clackers?
You've heard of them?
Yeah, I read online
They're the hottest toys
In the netherlands.
Yeah, it's true.
Could I play with them
For a while?
Sure, clack it up.
Thanks.
Hey, megan,
Wanna watch me clack?
No, walter.
Okay, stand here.
You here.
I hope that's not elastic
I'm measuring.
What are you--meg--
Hey, what are you doing?
What are you guys doing
On saturday night?
Going to a concert
At the mega-dome.
Why?
Because we bought tickets.
Not you.
Why do you wanna know
What we're doing saturday night?
I don't care
What you're doing.
But you just asked us.
Or maybe
You just asked yourself.
Yeah, think about that.
Okay, I wanna know
What her deal is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's up to something.
Yeah, first
She hangs up the phone,
Pretends to not be talking
To anybody.
Yeah,
And she measures our necks
And asks of our social plans.
Wait.
She said
We asked ourselves about that.
Really,
You're not a smart boy.
Whatever, all right?
All I know
Is when megan sneaks around
Badness is a-comin'.
A-comin'?
We need to find out
What's goin' on with her.
Yeah,
Well, we're gonna find out.
Oh, I hurt myself
In the face.
[Music]
[Bell ringing]
Which locker
Do you think is megan's?
Gee, I don't know.
Maybe it's the one
She's standin' in front of
And putting books into.
You know, sometimes
Your sarcasm hurts.
Okay.
Okay, let's see
If we can get close enough
To hear what she's talkin' about
With her friend.
Excuse me.
Shh.
Yeah, go away.
Yo, jerks, see this?
I'm the hall monitor.
Now, show me
Your visitors' passes.
We don't need
Any visitors' passes.
Yeah.
We happen to go
To this school.
You go to the upper school.
This is the lower school.
May I please see
Your visitors' passes?
We don't have any.
Then get out of my hall.
[Laughter]
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
He's gettin' all mad.
Oh, who's
An angry little hall monitor?
This guy.
Yeah.
You two
Just made the biggest mistake
Of your lives.
Oh.
All right, come on.
Let's see what megan's up to.
Roger that.
No way.
I swear.
When?
Saturday night.
And you're sure nobody knows?
Well, drake and josh
Almost heard me
When I was talkin' to him
On my cell,
But they're way too stupid
To figure it out.
So where you gonna meet him?
The premiere.
And he's gonna bring you
The stuff?
Oh, yeah.
[Bell ringing]
Come on.
We'd better get to algebra.
Hey, I heard that thing
On mr. Barker's nose grew back.
Awesome.
Go get to class.
Learn, learn.
Man, who do you think
She's meeting at the premiere
Saturday night?
I don't know.
And she said
He's bringin' the stuff.
What do you think
The stuff is?
Who knows?
Poison?
expl*sives?
expl*sive poison?
Man, I cannot stand
Not knowin'.
Man, how we gonna find out?
Okay, look.
We're gonna blow off the concert
Saturday night
And follow megan
To the premiere.
She'll see us.
Hey,
Not if we're wearing disguises.
Interesting.
Yeah.
That's them.
He brought backup.
He's just a little boy.
All right, boys,
We're just about to leave.
No need to--
Rubber bands.
Ow.
Ow.
Hey-- ow.
Oh. Whoa, dude.
[Music]
Okay.
All I'm sayin' is
The next time we need disguises,
I'm gettin' them.
I told you,
The costume shop was closed.
The temple was open.
And these are good disguises.
I don't even know
What accent to talk with.
Doesn't matter.
Just sound foreign.
Can I help you gentlemen
Find somethin'?
Top o' the mornin' to ya,
Lass.
How are ya?
Just here
To see a picture show, you know?
Potato?
Come along, pontiac.
Yes, let's go
Observe the mulberry bush.
Oh, pip, pip,
Da doodley do.
Pip pip da doodley do.
I'm gonna start sayin' that.
Hey.
I just saw megan
Go into the movie theater.
Let's go.
Tickets please.
Oh, we don't have tickets.
Oh, we must be catchin'
Our movie.
Love the previews.
Oh, doodley-do.
See megan anywhere?
No.
Oh, wait.
There she is.
Oh, yeah.
That guy doesn't look like
He sells expl*sives.
Oh, megan's on a date?
A date?
Megan's on a date?
Holy shalalee.
Come on, come on, come on.
Let's sit down.
Oh, hey.
Did you bring the stuff?
Yeah, here's the candy
All the way from japan.
Oh my god.
It's so good.
How'd you get this?
I know a guy.
Listen,
I got you something, too.
Oh, hey.
Cool necklace.
Thanks.
I hope
I got you the right size.
I measured my brothers' necks
And then subtracted two inches.
Perfect.
Cool.
Hey, I'm gonna run
To the bathroom real quick
Before the movie starts.
Yeah.
I'll keep your seat warm.
I can't believe
Megan has her first boyfriend.
Yeah, I don't know
How I feel about this.
Oh, come on.
Come on, they're .
They're just having--
What is he doing?
Breath spray?
Lip balm.
He's gonna try
To kiss megan.
Shhh.
Pip pip your doodley-do.
Man, I cannot believe
That little punk is gonna try
To put the moves on megan.
She is too young for kissing.
Come on.
Pardon me there.
Oh, excuse.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Does that cover the medium?
What are you gawking at?
Mind your peepers.
Hey, I miss anything?
Nah, the movie
Is just starting.
How was the bathroom?
Nice, clean.
Just like you.
Oh, corey.
[Grumbling]
Oh, might I be having a bite
Of your popcorn there?
Aye,
Give us your corn, lad.
It's low in carbs.
Hey, man,
Get your own popcorn.
Oh, do you mind
If I sit closer to the screen
There, laddy?
Let me help you out
With that.
Oh, real.
That's comfortable there.
That's them,
Those two men from ireland.
Stop the film.
Horatio, stop the film.
What is the problem?
These two freaks
Just tried to steal my popcorn
And then sat on my girlfriend.
Well, she's too young
To be having a boyfriend.
She's just a wee lass.
Wee.
Wait a minute.
What are you boobs
Doing here?
Who are they?
My idiot brothers.
Well, it's a good thing
Your idiot brothers were here.
Yeah, this hooligan
Was about to kiss you
Right on the mouth
And I don't have to be talking
In this accent anymore, do i?
Wait.
So drake and josh just made up
Pip pip da doodley do?
You have every right
To be disappointed.
Of course,
He was trying to kiss me.
That's the point.
He's my boyfriend.
We've been dating
For seven weeks; exclusively.
Maybe seven weeks is enough.
Huh?
Look, I'm sorry
But I don't think
I want a girlfriend
Who comes from some kind of
Freakish family.
My family's not freakish,
Just my brothers
And my dad a little bit.
Look, whatever.
I'm outta here.
Pip, pip.
Doodley do.
[Music]
Okay, congratulations.
Megan won't come out
Of her room.
What's wrong with your ear?
Well, I knocked on her door.
She opened it
And then she screamed
Go away at me
Through a very loud bullhorn.
She's taking
This break up thing pretty hard.
I feel really bad.
And you should.
You ruined
Your little sister's
First relationship.
We were protecting her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Creepy corey was moving in
For a kiss.
Look, guys,
I'm her father.
I'm not in love with the idea
Of megan dating some boy.
But she's not
A little kid anymore.
She's becoming a young woman.
Okay, all right.
Okay, enough.
We get it.
Thank you.
Come on.
All right.
Anyway, you guys
Are gonna have to fix this.
Seriously.
Well.
Maybe if we talk
To this corey kid,
We can get him
To take megan back.
Good.
Now, will you please give me
Your ice pop?
Thanks.
Ah.
That's the stuff.
[Music]
[Car horn honks]
Ooh, corey's here.
Told you, he'd come.
Hey, dad.
Corey is here.
Bring him up, okay?
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's do this quick.
Megan comes back
From oboe practice
In a half hour.
Right.
Fellas.
Corey is here.
Hey.
What's up, corey?
I'll leave you guys to talk.
So, corey,
Thanks for coming by.
Okay.
Look, you got five minutes.
My mom's waiting
Down in the car,
And she cannot be late
For therapy.
So talk.
We're really sorry
We embarrassed you and megan
The other day.
Extremely sorry.
It's just that
We're her older brothers,
So sometimes we can be
A little overprotective.
And a little stupid.
A lot stupid.
Yeah, thank you.
So if you'll accept
Our apology,
We'd like you to give megan
Another chance.
Okay.
I'll get back with your sister.
Great.
Awesome.
But I want that clock.
What?
You want me
To get back with megan or not?
Give him the clock.
I'll give him a clock.
Fine.
Take the clock.
And that guitar.
No.
Then forget it.
Oh, come on.
It's old one.
You don't even
Play it anymore.
Fine.
Take the guitar.
Give me your pants.
Our pants?
Both of you: pants.
They're not even
Gonna fit you.
I'll grow into 'em.
I'll grow into 'em.
Guess we're giving him
Our pants.
I can't believe this.
We're pants-less.
Sweet.
I'll call megan tonight.
I can't believe
He took our pants.
I don't know about that kid.
[Music]
Hey, helen.
I just came
To pick up my paycheck.
Hmm, okay, here.
Thanks.
Uh, helen.
I worked five days last week.
So?
You only paid me for three.
I know.
This way I save money.
Oh, hey.
Check it out.
I got you a little something.
No way.
I thought
You could only get this candy
In japan.
Well, I know a guy.
You are the sweetest thing.
Just consider it
Our one-month anniversary
Presents.
Oh.
You are the best boyfriend ever.
Thanks, babe.
Drake, drake.
Wait until you hear this.
Oh.
You are not gonna believe this.
Whoa, man,
You are not gonna believe this.
Mrs. Hafer d*ed?
No.
Corey has a girlfriend.
Yeah, I know.
He's with megan.
That's why we gave him
Our pants.
Another girlfriend.
What?
You heard my words.
That corey's a little
Two-timing-girl-kissing-
Japanese-candy-giving jerk.
Okay.
What is so special
About japanese candy?
Oh, it's a big deal.
Now what are we gonna do
About this?
We're gonna tell megan.
That's what we're gonna do.
No.
Yes.
Oh, we can't go to megan
With this.
We could
If you'd let go of my shirt.
Look, if we tell megan,
She's gonna think
We're making it up.
She's gonna think we're lying
Just to keep her
From dating corey.
Man.
You're probably right.
So what are we gonna do?
[Music]
Megan.
Oh, man, every time.
Hey, what happened
To the movie?
Excuse us.
Sorry, people.
Yeah, we just got
A little business
To take care of.
I am going to do
Such illegal things to them.
Hey, turn the movie back on.
Just relax.
What's up with this guy?
I'll give you my watch
If you don't k*ll me.
Come on, chuck.
Let's get out of here.
Pleasure.
How are you, chuck?
I thought you clowns
Were gonna leave us alone.
Oh, yeah, we were, corey,
Until we found out
You were stepping out
On our sister.
Wow.
Stepping out?
I know terms.
I can't believe
You guys did this to me again.
Why are so obnoxious?
Megan,
Your little boyfriend here
Is dating another girl.
He is not.
I am not.
And you guys
Have about five seconds
To get out of here or else
You're both gonna wake up
Tomorrow morning under water.
Okay.
Okay, if you don't believe us--
Maybe you'll believe
Girlfriend number two.
Hey, boyfriend.
Monica.
Who's monica?
I don't know.
I've never even seen her before.
You just called her monica.
Who is she?
I used to be his girlfriend.
Come on, megs.
We're done.
Will you guys
Please drive me home?
Of course we will.
As soon
As we teach corey here
A little lesson.
Yeah, the hard way.
[Music]
You could have told us
He knew kung fu.
Yeah, he knew kung fu
Real good.
I'm sorry.
And listen,
I really appreciate
What you guys did for me.
It means a lot.
No.
We're just sorry
That guy wasn't nice to you.
Or to our faces.
I love you guys.
Megan said she loves us.
I know.
Dude, you're crying.
He kicked me on the throat.
[Music]
Ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
How fun is that?
I love these.
I know.
Come on, let's go clack
In the living room.
Ow.
Oh.
Whoa.
Ow, ow, ow, ow,
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
04x15 - Megan's First Kiss
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Series follows two teenage stepbrothers Drake Parker and Josh Nichols as they live together despite opposite personalities.
Series follows two teenage stepbrothers Drake Parker and Josh Nichols as they live together despite opposite personalities.