03x78 - Mr. and Mr. Perfect

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪ ]


So what are you going to wear to your cousin's wedding this weekend?index , start ,…}


Who cares? I hate weddings!


Weddings are so romantic!


Happy shiny couples in modern classic formal wear,


what's not to love?


How about getting stuck between Robbie and Diego


at the kids' table?


Oh Noooo!


Oh yeah.


I can drive a car but I can't sit at the grown-ups' table.


You can't REALLY drive, though.


Unless it involves crashing.


Not the point!


I'm ! It's ridiculous.


Don't worry.


Jonesy and I will keep you company.


Nope, I have a girlfriend, so I get to sit at the grown-up table.


Lookit me, I'm a grown up!


Finally, I can listen to boring music and go to bed early.


Oh, sure, JONESY'S all grown up,


but once again Jen gets stuck with the nose-pickers


and the food throwers.


Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?


Because Jen can't take another wedding at the kids' table,


that's why!


You wouldn't have to sit there if you had a date, though, right?


Like that'll ever happen.


That's what friends are for, right, Nikki?


Hey, I like Jen, but not in that way.


No, I mean we can find a date for Jen!


Your very own Mr. Perfect!


Assuming I haven't already run away to join the Foreign Legion.


What's the Foreign Legion?


Not sure.


But I think it has something to do with leaving the country,


which is good enough for me!


[ ♪♪♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL ♪


♪ THAT'S WHEN WE BEND ALL THE RULES ♪


♪ TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS ♪


♪ WE LIKE TO BE TOGETHER


♪ IN A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG! ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, STARTING TO FIND MY WAY ♪


♪ GOT A NEW JOB, GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY ♪


♪ THANK GOD I'M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, LIFE IS SWEET ♪


♪ WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST ♪


♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN...


♪ I'M TEEN... ♪ TEEN


♪ GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


Jude?


Hey, Wyatt.


Wyatt's old lady.


Hey. What's with the bucket?


I'm on vacay, dudes!


Vacay?


I haven't had a holiday in forever!


So I'm taking some mucho needed R & R.


Aaaaaah, this is the life.


Well, as long as you're happy.


I'll be happy once I've got some tannage happening, dude!


Uh, Jude, you can't get a tan from fluorescent lights.


Watch me!


I don't get why teenagers EVER have to sit at the kids table?


Who cares, as long as it's Jen and not us?


Is this me or what?


We have to find Jen a date for that wedding


so she can sit with us.


Jen, Jen, Jen! What about me?


I need a shirt for the wedding.


What's your discount here anyway?


We're a couple, Wyatt's with Marlowe,


Caitlin's always got someone on the go.


But Jen? Always single.


It's not fair. You're right.


She's not THAT disgusting.


There must be some dumb boob we can con into dating her.


Dax, is that you?!


Nikki? I can't believe it!


Jonesy, this is Dax.


Dax, my boyfriend Jonesy.


Good to meet you, man.


Hey, are you single?


But Nikki just said YOU were her boyfriend.


I am.


We were just talking about a friend of ours who needs a date.


Still do a lot of running?


Yeah, I'm competing in a track & field meet next month.


Perfect! You're gonna love Jen.


She's really into sports too.


If this Jen girl's so great,


why does she need help getting a date?


Two wordslow self-esteem.


That's three words.



You guys really aren't selling it.


Jen works for the Penalty Box.


How does a % discount on running shoes sound?


Okay. I'll do it!


What?


There are no lows I won't stoop to for Jen.


That's sweet.


Coach will still k*ll you, but it's sweet.


No littering.


No running.


No coughing.


And hey, watch that breathing!


A-hem...


Well, hello there, ma'am.


Ma'am?!


I mean Miss!


Miss! How silly of me.


I get confused when I'm around someone so beautiful.


Oh, go on...


You smell very nice.


Like flowers...


and oranges...


and burning rubber!


But I love the scent of burning rubber in the morning!


Tell me, young man,


what's your mom looking for in a romantic relationship?


LOSER!


♪ Oh Marlowe, can't you see ♪


♪ You're the only girl for me ♪


♪ I'd crawl through fire for you ♪


♪ But I hope you'd never ask me to ♪


♪ Oh, Marlowe ♪


Oh, Wyatt, that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard!


There's gotta be someone in the mall Jen can date...


No. Too dumb.


Yeesh. Too smart!


BWAAAH!


Just right!


One lemonade, beautiful.


Excellent choice, uh..?


Dougray.


Wanna date someone incredible, Dougray?


I kinda just wanted a lemonade,


not a whole relationship.


No offence.


Oh, it's not for me!


Although, why not me?


Sporty brunettes are more my speed.


Then I've got the perfect sporty brunette for you!


If she's so perfect,


why are you pawning her off on guys you barely know?


That's a great question, Dougray.


Here's another...


how would you like free lemonade for an entire year?


I'll do it!


Troubadour at o'clock!


[ WYATT HUMMING ]


[ STOPS ]


[ CONTINUES HUMMING ]


Come on, adolescent scum...


Come on, give me something I can work with...


NO LITTERING! BWAH!


What'd I DO?!


You're mine now,


you good-for-nothing lawbreaker!


Jen, I'd like you to meet somebody.


This is Dougray, a snowboarder


who loves lemonade and dancing at weddings.


Get it? Weddings?


Pleasure's all mine, beautiful.


Ooh! Hel-lo.


You can stop whining now, Jen -- OOF!


I mean, say hello to the man of your dreams!


This is my old friend Dax,


a nationally acclaimed triathlete.


Hobbies include jogging in the rain


and escorting dates to the adult table.


You're prettier than a Junebug in spring.


I have no idea what that means, but howdy.


That's great, you guys,


but I've got the sitch totally under control.


JONESYSure doesn't look that way...


Hey, stop flirting with the wrong guy!


Dougray's the guy for you!


Who says our guy is the wrong guy?


Because we got here first!


Which means it was probably a rush job!


That is sooooo not true!


It was pretty quick.


Quiet, you!


All right, all right, everyone calm down.


Clearly, Jen's got a decision to make.


Who do you want to bring to the wedding?


Uh... er... um...


eee... ooo...


It's tough.


I know how to settle this.


A gladiator battle to the death?


No, sample dates!


Jen goes out with both candidates



and makes her decision based on that.


Sounds good to me!


Really, really good.


I guess I could do that.


I do have the afternoon free.


It's in the bag, dude!


We're so gonna kick his sorry butt!


So, um, Ron?


When are you gonna let me outta this cell?


When you're ready to cooperate, punk.


Cooperate with what?


I still don't understand what the charges are?


Resisting arrest,


failure to comply with authorities,


littering...


I didn't litter!


You can't just lock people up any time you feel like it!


I have rights!


You're in Mall Jail, Junior Miss.


The rules of the outside world no longer apply.


Well, I'm sure my friends will be here any minute to bail me out.


Hey, has anyone seen Wyatt lately?


-No. --'Fraid not.


-Nuh-uh. --Who?


Oh well. I'm sure he'll turn up.


Looks like your friends don't care.


That's not true.


They're bound to come here...


eventually.


They aren't coming.


You belong to me now, maggot.


Get used to it.


[ iPOD PLAYS SEASIDE SOUNDS ]


Cooooooooooool.


Okay, Dax, go get that girl!


Bag that hottie! Land that lassie!


That IS your step-sister, remember?


So? I wanna win!


Good luck, man. Thanks, bud.


Don't shake hands with the enemy!


I think you might be taking this 'competition' thing


a little too seriously.


It's called a winning attitude. Look into it!


We don't need to,


'cause you're going down, loser!


Hey there, pretty lady.


Thanks for putting up with all of this, you guys.


It's worth it


if it means rescuing a fair maiden like yourself


from the kiddie table.


That is so sweet!


What'd I tell you, Dax is a lock!


It's like taking candy from a candy machine


that's broken and spilling over with candy!


These are for you. Oh, Dougray.


They're beautiful!


Who said you could bring props?


All's fair in love and wedding receptions!


So do either of you guys surf?


Actually I know this great spot, really private,


totally picturesque.


But I'm waiting to share it with the right girl.


That is so romantic...


OUFF! What the --


Caitlin!


Oops.


Pssst! Get Jen a drink!


And don't cheap out!


Jen, I notice your cup is empty.


Let me get you another coffee.


Thank you. That is so thoughtful!


Dax, can I get you anything?


Thanks, a glass of water would be great.


I don't drink coffee.


I believe life is the ultimate stimulant.


Me too!


Well... now I do!


AAGH! Oof!


Hey! You tripped my guy!


Caitlin! You're still here?


You beaned our guy in the head with a muffin first!


Jonesy, what are you doing here?


Just trying to help you make the right -- OW!


Stop attacking each other with baked goods!


I've made my decision.


Really?


So who's it gonna be?


Dax.


Sweet!


WHAT?!


♪ Uh huh, that's right ♪


♪ we did it... oh yeah! ♪


It was on ! I demand a rematch!


It was really nice meeting you, Dougray.


Good luck with everything,


and I hope you have a great time at the wedding.


Where do you think you're going?


Home?


I didn't raise you to be a quitter!


Your friend seems happy enough.



Isn't that what you wanted?


Back when I was young and foolish, maybe.


But now? NOW I want more!


Jonesy and Nikki won this battle.


But we're going to win the w*r!


Um, your eye is twitching.


No it isn't!


[ ♪ ]


Thanks again for setting me up with Dax, you guys.


Now I can't wait to go to the wedding!


And we don't have to worry about you being a third wheel all night.


Ow!


I'm just saying what we're all thinking.


And who knows?


Weddings are pretty romantic.


Maybe this date will turn into something more serious.


Ah, romance.


Chicks always fall for that crap!


That's right, ladies, the village idiot is taken.


You love my plain-spoken charm.


Is that what we're calling it now?


Those Barbecue Stick-Its smell awe-some!


Did you see the look on Caitlin's face


when Jen picked Dax over her guy?


She was all, "WHAT?!"


She was pretty miffed.


I'm sure she's over it by now.


Basketball! Jen's favourite spectator sport!


Sucker Punch! Jen's favourite band!


Skis... uh,


Jen's favourite winter sport?


No, chocolate skis!


Jen's favourite sugary treat!


Where's your head at? Chocolate, right!


Jen should be getting back from break any second now.


Get in there and step up your game!


Are you in this or not? Lemme hear you!


I'm in this!


Louder!


I'M IN THIS!


GEEZERThat was Hillbilly Pete with


"I Got One Mule, One Cart and One Good Eye on You."


Gnnngh!


GEEZERUp next, we got Ricky Yokel with,


"A Bag of Chewin' Tabaccy for Two" all on Country .


Yee-haw!


No... more... country!


I beg you!


How's that, soap scum?


You gotta let me outta here!


The walls are closing in!


I can't take anymore!


What will you do to get out, poopy pants?


ANYTHING!!


Perfect.


[SIGH OF RELIEF] That's better.


Why are you giving me my guitar?


So you can teach me that love song


you were singing to your girlfriend this morning.


How do you hold this thing?


Y'mean, you've never played before?


First time for everything.


I'm never getting out of here, am I?


Not with that attitude, mister!


Dougray? What are you doing here?


Oh, hey Jen!


I forgot you worked here.


I was just listening to the new Sucker Punch album.


You like Sucker Punch?


Sure, doesn't everyone?


Chocolate ski?


You like chocolate skis?


I know, weird, right?


No way, they're great!


Hey, do you know anyone who likes college basketball?


You like college basketball?!?


I've got two tickets to the game next week,


but no one to take.


I'll go!!


Sorry, but I'm not the kind of guy who poaches other guys' girls.


You are dating Dax now.


Not anymore!


Wanna go to a wedding with me this weekend?


For real?


Wear a blue shirt! It'll match my dress!


YES! Who was that?


Nobody.


For the last time, THIS IS THE 'A' CHORD!


No, like this!


AAGH!


The strings keep cutting into my fingers.


They feel like lumps of ground meat.


You have to build up calluses.


See?


Ahhh, my back is k*lling me!


Playing for five hours straight will do that.


AAAGH! I haven't been tortured like this


since the enemy rounded up my platoon.


You want t*rture? Try sitting over here!


I won't give up my unit!



You can t*rture me all you want!


What?


RUN, CARL! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!


t*rture flashback.


Hmm. That gives me an idea.


Gimme an 'A' chord, now!


GAAAAGH! [PLAYS BAD CHORD]


AGAIN! [SLIGHTLY BETTER]


GEEEECH! Curse you!


AGAIN!


[ PROPER CHORD ]


You evil sickos!


[ SOBS ]


Now we're getting somewhere.


AGAIN!


[ PROPER CHORD ]


[ ♪ ]


Vacay rocks!


[ CHEERS ]


WOO HOO! YEAH!


[ CHEERS ]


Hey guys.


We're not speaking to you!


Okay?


Starting right AFTER we finish yelling at you!


How could you dump Dax for Dougray?


He was our guy!


We liked him! A LOT!


A LOTTA LOT!


Look, it's not him, it's me.


I just realized that Dougray and I have way more in common.


Caitlin must have put him up to it!


That little rat!


We'll fix her wagon!


What does that even mean?


I thought you guys just wanted me to have a date for the wedding.


Oh, please!


Well, if it makes you feel any better,


I think I made a mistake.


Dougray and I have everything in common,


so it's totally boring.


Well, you can never go back to Dax,


not after you broke our heart!


Come on, guys. I'm sorry.


Too little, too late.


Not speaking begins NOW!


Hey, are you all right?


I saw those people yelling at you. Not cool!


Oh, them?


Yeah, they're, uh, special.


I'm Adam,


and you're the most beautiful girl


I've ever seen in a referee uniform.


Oh!


I'm Jen!


[ PLAYS MELODY ]


You're playing the song!


You did it!


No, we did it,


you sick tormentor.


Thanks.


Glad I could help.


Well, you held up your part of the bargain.


You're free to go.


Wow, great!


Thanks!


What's the matter, street meat?


It's crazy, but...


I was just starting to have fun.


Me too! Me too!


But if you ever tell a living soul,


no one will hear from you again!


Got it?


Anything else you want to learn to play?


Do you know Stairway to Heaven? I love that song.


[ SIGH ]


[ CAITLIN HUMS HAPPILY ]


Turned out to be a great day, huh, guys?


[ THEY GRUMBLE AND MUTTER ]


Everybody, this is Adam.


We just met and totally clicked,


so I've decided to take him to the wedding instead.


What?!


How could you do that to me?


Er... I mean, Dougray?


He's PERFECT!


No, he isn't! DAX was perfect!


My guy can speak French!


Our guy can burp the alphabet!


My guy can save lives!


Our guy can drive a speedboat!


My guy can fly!


Our guy can sh**t lasers with his mind!


Guys, quit it!


You're going to scare away --


Adam? Adam?!


Whoopsie.


Aw, man!


Any chance it isn't too late to get Dougray or Dax back?


Howdy, dudes and dudettes.



Jude? You actually got a tan?!


But that's not possible!


You've been under the same fluorescent lights as us all day.


You see, the key to a good vacay...


it's all in the mind.


A sunless, self-tanner-less tan?


My hero!


MANA toast to the bride and groom!


GUESTSTo the bride and groom!


To the dumb ole bride and groom.


I hate weddings.


[ ♪ ]


Am I doing this right?


Relax, and feel the rays, bra.


Hey Guys!


Wyatt, where have you been?


We looked everywhere for you.


Really?


Nah. Not really.


[VAGUELY IN TUNE] ♪ Oh Darlin', can't you see


♪ You're the only girl for me ♪


♪ I'd crawl through fire for you ♪


♪ I just hope you never ask me to ♪


♪ Oh, Darlin'


Oh, Ron!


That's the most romantic song I've ever heard.


Hey, I know that song?


That's totally a Wyatt original!


Have you been helping Ron score with Yummy Mummy?


What?! Noo! That's craz --


well, yeah.


Just as I thought, a total softie.


Guilty as charged.


You promised me % off running shoes if I dated Jen!


You promised me free lemonade for a year!


You guys offered bribes to date me!


Hey it worked didn't it?


Ah no, it didn't....


Right... whatever....