:
♪
I can't believe my wedding is
only days away.
JEN: Tell me about it.
I'm about to inherit smelly
stepbrothers.
I don't think this dress will
fit me.
Sure it will.
And don't forget they'll be my
smelly stepsons.
JEN: Yeah, well you don't
have to share a bathroom with
them.
Oh, maybe it won't be that
bad.
You don't know, Mom.
They spit all over the sink,
leave their nasty underwear on
the ground, and they never wash
their towels.
Oh, and yesterday they ate all
the nacho chips.
(Sighing)
(Laughing)
I'm not saying that I don't
want you to marry Jonesy's dad.
I just wish we would could stay
in our house instead of moving
into theirs.
Jen, we already went over
this.
Their house is much bigger than
ours and there's of us now.
COURTNEY: At least Jonesy and
Diego are moving up to the loft
as soon as it's finished so we
can have their rooms.
All set.
Oh Courtney, you look
beautiful.
It's so pretty, Mom.
Oh, you have the perfect body
for this dress.
Jen, come out.
Let's see you.
(Gasping)
Oh dear.
I know, I know.
Flat-chested Jen can't even fill
out a size .
That's so weird.
My size fits me perfectly.
I'll start pinning.
(Poking)
Ow, watch it!
She has surprisingly large
thighs.
Huh, ugh, I hate this
wedding.
♪
♪ Life begins after school
♪ That's when we bend
all the rules ♪
♪ Time to hang
with all my friends ♪
♪ We like to be together
in a place where we belong ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Starting to find my way
♪ Got a new job
♪ Gonna start at
the mall today ♪
♪ Thank God I'm on my own
for the first time ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Life is sweet
♪ When you're growing up
so fast ♪
♪ You got to make the good
times last ♪
♪
♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen
♪ Got to make the good
times last ♪
♪
Do you like white flowers or
pink?
I don't care.
Do you think you'll get
married outdoors or inside a
church?
(Groaning)
(Sighing)
JEN: Hey, guys.
Hey, Jen.
(Gasping)
Oh my gosh.
You look awful.
What's wrong?
Oh, nothing except that I had
zero bathroom time this morning.
It's bad enough Courtney needs
an hour in front of the mirror
and now I have to deal with
boys too.
And they'll fight you for the
bathroom.
I have practically now feeling
left in my upper arms.
Surprise, surprise, the move
in's not going well.
No, and don't even ask about
the dress.
Here, let me fix you up.
Why can't they get married
and just stay in their own
houses?
Then everything would be
perfect.
Good thinking.
Then you could yell even louder
at each other.
(Laughing)
I don't think it works that
way.
Well, it should.
It would be better for the kids.
Jonesy and his brothers are
impossible.
Excusez-moi, it's girls that
are impossible to deal with.
Try having a bathroom drawer
stuffed with tampons and makeup
and listening to chick music all
night.
Oh, yuck.
Exactly.
We only moved in days ago
and already they're playing
couch commando and totally
hogging the remote.
Oh, I hate that!
Then, the guys have this rule
about the big comfy armchair.
Oh, the eating chair?
Yeah, that's the one.
Anyone who's eating gets to
sit in it and if someone has a
bigger meal than you then they
get to kick you out of the
chair which is so unfair because
they're guys.
We'll never eat more than them.
Okay, that is a great rule.
That's the dumbest thing I've
ever heard.
I ate an entire pint of ice
cream last night just to be able
to sit in the chair for
minutes.
You can't change years of
tradition.
That's how it's always been and
that's how it will always be.
Ugh, I have to get to work.
At least one thing in my life
hasn't changed.
Later, girls.
(Clearing throat)
What?!
Have a cow why don't you?
JEN: Aw, gross.
COACH: You're offside,
Masterson!
Fine, give me a penalty.
But it's not my fault.
His feet do stink.
(Sniffing)
(Screaming)
COACH: Holy-- oh my lord--
Holy jumpins--
Y'ello.
Okay, am I overreacting or
are all men barbarians?
Guys are like badly trained
dogs.
They'd all pee on the furniture
if we let them.
You don't think that if I
like Jonesy's dad it's kind of
cheating on my dad, do you?
I mean, even though he's gone I
still feel like he's my dad.
I think he'd be psyched to
know you have someone cool like
Jonesy's dad to be your
stepfather.
He'd want you to be happy.
Can you believe such a nice
dad has such annoying sons?
I know, they must be adopted
or something.
(Laughing)
Jen, I've got to go.
The clones are staring at me.
Yes?
What is that?
It's a bandana.
We use it to decorate customers
remember?
Why is it stuck in your
pocket?
I don't know, I was
decorating the front window like
you told me to and I must have
stuck it in my pocket.
Admit it, you were trying to
steal this bandana.
(Laughing)
Yeah right.
I wouldn't be caught dead in one
of these.
Maybe you'd be caught alive.
What?
That's not all.
Our Khaki Barn logo label g*n is
missing too.
Oh, and what would I do with
one of those?
Wallpaper my bedroom with Khaki
Barn logos?
(Gasping)
Oh, cute idea.
Okay, is the interrogation
over or are you gonna call in
CSI?
We'll be watching you, Nikki.
Hm.
Agh!
Ow.
Ugh, I must have been so bad
in a previous life.
(Struggling)
I thought you girls already
tried your dresses on.
Knock, knock.
Mine's already perfect but Jen
needed a second fitting.
JEN: I heard that.
You guys clean up pretty
well.
I've gotta say I look pretty
money in this tux.
I am so the man.
I can barely move in this
dress now.
Chicks at Grind Me are gonna
go wild when they see me in
these duds at the stag party.
Did you just say your stag
party is at Grind Me?
Yep, Thursday night baby.
They double booked us?
So, Grind Me's a big place.
We can have them both there.
It'll be fun.
You can't have a stag party
at the same place we're having
our shower!
Why not?
(Laughing)
Nice dress.
Shut it.
Because showers are nice,
classy events.
And what the heck does your dad
need a stag for anyway?
He's been married before.
Well, what the heck does your
mom need a shower for?
BOTH: It's tradition!
Exactly.
And you're supposed to be
wearing purple ties to match our
dresses.
We like green.
Well, too bad.
JONESY: Who says you get to
decide?
That's just the way it is.
JONESY: I don't want to wear
a purple tie!
(Gasping)
(Tearing)
Ow, take it easy, sis!
Jonesy, control your
brothers!
Okay, we'll wear the stupid
purple ties but we're not moving
the stag; we booked it first.
And another thing--
(Gasping)
(Screaming)
(Screaming)
(Screaming)
(Screaming)
I hate guys!
(Screaming)
We'll just move the stag.
♪
(Screaming)
Hey, no!
What's going on?
A baby blue tube top has gone
missing.
Care to enlighten us?
Okay, how 'bout it's ugly and
never should have been available
for public consumption.
We think you stole it.
Fascinating, do you have any
proof?
We don't need proof.
We voted and we all think that
you did it.
Oh, now this is a democracy?
No, it's a khaki-ocracy.
And if we had proof you'd be
fired by now.
Right now, we're just majorly
suspicious.
Okay, this is starting to get
annoying.
From now on you carry this in
to and out of the store with all
your belongings in it so we can
see them clearly.
You're kidding, right?
I wish I was.
Wait, no I don't.
Nice bag, Nikki.
The clones think I'm tryin'
to steal their crappy clothing.
Bug off you nosey little creep.
So, how's the move in going?
Last night, Jen just started
crying out of nowhere.
Well, there had to be a
reason, Jonesy.
Did you ask her?
I don't know.
Something about no one listening
to her or something.
I wasn't really paying
attention.
Huh?
(Whistling)
(Whistling)
What happened here?
I feel it too; serious
tension.
Jonesy saw Jen naked
yesterday.
(Laughing)
Ow!
She's your stepsister; show a
little respect.
And you--
It was an accident; I swear.
I didn't see anything.
It's actually good that this
happened now and not in a year
or when you finally get your
boobs, Jen.
Ugh, can we just go and get
the stupid present now, please?
(Sighing)
No.
No way.
Oh, we are not getting them a
massage chair.
You guys just want it for
yourselves.
Frankly, I'm insulted that
you would even say tha-- ahhh!
A Tush Control , is not
an appropriate wedding gift.
Oh wait, the lumbar cycle's
about to start.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
ALL: Ahhh!
No way, Jonesy.
There's an easy way to settle
this.
We'll do it the democratic way
and take a vote.
All in favour of the Tush
Control , say aye.
BOYS: Aye!
Sorry, we can't help it if
you're outnumbered.
Ring this up my good man.
And tie a bow on it will you?
It's a gift.
This is so not fair.
You can't just do this.
Calm down now.
Tell you what: we'll let you
pick the colour.
(Growling)
(Screaming)
Come on, Courtney.
That was harsh.
But we got the chair.
"Calm down."
I can't believe that guy.
We've got to get them back.
Seriously, if we don't put a
stop to this now think of how
it's going to be after the
wedding.
Oh, I know.
And I think I know just how to
do it.
♪
MR. GARCIA: I'm sorry, Jon--
No, but Dad--
MR. GARCIA: No buts.
But, Dad!
MR. GARCIA: Goodbye.
(Groaning)
Great Wall of China, this
sucks!
Let's go, boys.
CHRISSY: Welcome to the Khaki
Barn.
What!?
Stop staring at me.
Do you think would be
appropriate for a wedding
shower?
Careful, she might steal your
purse.
(Groaning)
It's so weird seeing your mom
get married.
But, you do like Jonesy's
dad, right?
Sure, he's okay.
I just wish the guys weren't
such guys.
Don't worry.
They should be getting the good
news any minute now.
Hey, what's the big idea?
Diego and I were supposed to
split the cool loft space in the
attic but someone just convinced
my dad to give it to Jen and
Courtney.
Yes, we're just picking our
paint colour now.
Wanna help?
How'd you do it, huh?
You pulled the sweet little girl
act, didn't you?
Maybe.
Do you like this one?
Oh, good choice.
That is totally offside.
He has no experience with
daughters.
He doesn't know how to say no.
We can't help it if we're
resourceful.
Gee, I feel calm right now.
Do you feel calm?
I feel really calm.
So you wanna play this way
now?
Fine, we're not moving the stag.
What!?
You said you were going to.
That was before you stole our
loft.
So you can throw your little
wedding shower at Grind Me if
you want but we will be there.
JEN & COURTNEY: Fine!
I understand there's been an
--- section B disturbance
here.
That's right officer.
You suspect an inside job?
Oh, definitely; so inside.
Oh, come on.
You actually called in the
rent-a-cop?
That's mall security officer.
Is that the perp?
(Groaning)
(Laughing)
Girls, this is such a lovely
party.
You've done a beautiful job.
(Loud cheering)
(Alarm wailing)
Yee-haw!
Ya!
You go, bro!
Woo hoo!
There just had to be a game
on.
Finger sandwiches, anyone?
Woohoo hoo!
Streaking!
(Screaming)
Was that my new stepson?
Oh, that is it.
(Tranquil music loudening)
(Rockabilly music loudening)
(Tranquil music loudening)
(Rockabilly music loudening)
(Laughing)
Woo, streaking!
(Groaning)
(Moaning)
But we booked it until pm.
You never said anything about
noise restrictions.
This is so unfair.
Well, I guess we better get
going.
Thank you for a lovely party,
girls.
Good times while it lasted,
bro.
Well, I hope you're happy.
Us?
You guys just ruined our wedding
shower.
You know what?
Just don't talk to me again,
ever!
Fine by me!
(Zipping)
(Screaming)
(Screaming)
Let me in there, Missy.
Look, can you just go away
for a while?
Negative.
You go; I go.
There are items in that washroom
that need to be protected.
(Whistling)
(Liquid running)
(Flushing)
Okay, okay, that's it.
I can't live like this.
I quit.
(Cheering)
No way!
Yes!
My work here is done.
I don't know how to thank
you.
Uh, uh oh, uh, Chrissy.
Chrissy.
What?
(Gasping)
Stanley has something to say
to you girls.
Sorry I stole all this stuff.
I don't know what to say.
He's usually such a good little
boy.
Uh, thank you for returning
these.
She's really gonna make me
grovel, isn't she?
I can still remember the time
when my mom first met
Mr. Garcia.
It was when I was years old,
and we had just moved into the
neighbourhood, and our basement
was flooded.
Actually, I think they met at
our little league game.
Uh, no.
It was when the basement leaked.
Your dad helped bail us out.
I think he's right.
I think you're right, dude.
Okay, anyway, a lot has
happened and now we all have to
live together so cheers.
(Gasping)
Hey!
(Laughing)
Oops.
Uh, Nikki, can we talk to
you?
We know you didn't steal
anything.
It was that annoying little
boy who comes in here with his
mom.
You know, the mom who dresses
like a cougar.
We brought you your knapsack.
You can use it anytime in the
store.
Gee, thanks Kirsten.
I'll be sure to mention that
when I call head office and tell
them about how you guys
harassed me.
Later.
Wait, you can have any shifts
you want and unlimited elite
washroom usage and extra
breaks a day.
Make it and you have a
deal.
You are such a pig.
You've had like of these
already.
Mm mm.
Ew, were you just staring at
my chest?
Pervert!
No, ew, no!
I wasn't Dad!
That's it!
You are such a jerk.
Hey, if you're so hungry take
mine.
This is getting really ugly,
dude.
(Dinging glass)
Excuse me.
Excuse me, everyone.
We have an announcement to make.
Where did you learn your
manners anyway?
A barnyard?
The only cow around here is
you.
Ahem, we have decided to
postpone the wedding.
(Gasping)
We had no idea how miserable
this was making you all.
But it's clear to us now that
you just aren't ready for this
kind of change.
So, we've decided to wait until
you're all grown up and on your
own.
Wow, I feel so bad.
You should.
Shut up, you little pain in
my butt--
Guys, you've got to stop it.
You're ruining your parents'
wedding.
Nikki's right.
And as much as I can't stand you
guys your dad does make our mom
really happy.
Yeah, ditto.
But what are we gonna do?
We can't agree on anything.
We need someone neutral.
Someone who's gotten out of
tough situations before.
Someone you all respect.
How important is the respect
part?
Gentlemen, ladies, I know
seeing your parents get married
is about as comfortable as
wearing a pair of synthetic
thong underwear.
But, from where I sit, you
soldiers have it pretty good.
Good, now let's turn you maggots
into a family.
I don't feel as if I'm being
heard.
Like, when I say I really have
to pee I really have to pee.
You will let the girls into
the washroom when they have to
pee.
Deal.
The rules of the eating chair
must be observed.
It's tradition.
(Whispering)
Will you concede at least one
hour of girl programming per
night if the girls agree to
relinquish all rights to said
chair?
We will.
Very well.
Let's call that bylaw .
And in accordance, the girls
shall play their chick music at
a sound level no louder than
decibels.
And the boys shall refrain from
farting in presence of the
girls.
All parties copasetic?
GIRLS: Yes.
Okay.
Cool.
Definitely.
Sign here.
I now pronounce you a family.
(Applauding)
Nice.
Thanks man.
You saved our lives.
I know.
Now suck it up you little mama's
boy and go tell your parents the
wedding is on.
(Wedding bells playing)
(Wedding organ playing)
I love you, Mom.
Love you too, sweetie.
And thank you.
MR. GARCIA: Everybody smile!
(Cheering)
Mm.
This is one heck of a good cake.
(Laughing)
Hey, you can stop staring at
my boobs any time.
Gosh, you guys are annoying.
Yeah, but you'll grow to love
us.
So, it's official; you're my
brother now.
I guess it could be worse.
Yeah, you're not so bad.
By the way, as your new brother,
I think I should warn you we can
all see your underwear.
(Screaming)
I think I'm gonna like having
sisters.
♪
♪
02x45 - The Wedding Destroyers
Watch/Buy Amazon
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.