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dancing she told him you're gonna write
a book about a movie star Mr Wilson are
ya that's right the deal isn't set yet
but uh oh boy which movie star you gonna
write about Laurel and Hardy Yogi Bear
I'd love to read about them no no Dennis
I'm going to do the life and loves of
Miss Norma Lamont
well uh here's a picture of her
she's been retired for several years now
but in her day she was quite a siren a
siren do you mean she went
[Music]
no no no Dennis I didn't mean that at
all I mean she always played the role of
of the temptress
the vampire
oh the vampire I I saw that on
television
it's like a bat and she did Forrest
caught off in the
necklace and then she zoomed out again
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hahaha
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and I'm going to write to miss Lamont
and tell her I want a thousand dollars
to do her Memoir good she'll probably
pay it without a whimper
I have read all your articles and can
tell you are a young and vigorous author
with a youthful point of view
and only a young man can understand and
truly write the story of Norma Lamont
I'm glad this collaboration is going to
be a long distance one with her in New
York and you here yes well she's going
to send me a copy of her files and
why are you glad because I couldn't
trust my young Charming husband with a
glamorous actress
look at that picture no you can't call
that face glamorous that's not so bad
John she must have been very beautiful
oh well if if I just put a beard on this
she can it'll be the spitting image of
General Grant yeah
what does that look like
that's General Graham
[Music]
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it's a special delivery for you oh who's
it from from General Grant herself
yeah Mr Wilson I have a wonderful
surprise instead of mailing the material
for my book I'm going to bring it to you
bring it I'm flying out to the coast so
thought I'd stop over with you for a
couple of hours Saturday afternoon it's
today she's coming here to see me but
she can't I mean Louise what am I going
to do oh my God John Deere don't get so
upset everything will be all right yes
but she's expecting a much younger man
when she sees how old I am I won't get
to do it oh now John Deere you don't
look so old for your age
foreign
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got any news for me today the only news
I know is that I passed my arithmetic
test yesterday you both passed boy
that's big news at my house it sounds
like a page one story to me anything
else
well there's some news at Mr Wilson's
house Mrs Wilson just told us the movie
actress is coming to see him today yeah
her name's Norma Lamont or something
like that
she's pretty famous when she coming to
see Wilson for
he's going to write a book about it
thanks a lot boy that's a real scoop
I guess that makes us reporters huh it
certainly does
Mr reporters make oh well I usually pay
my men uh 10 cents a piece why
thank you
boy Dennis that was quick thinking we
gotta think quick in the newspaper
business County
and I'm here on this errand for friend
of mine sort of a favor you see yes what
may I do for you sir well he has this
gray hair around the temple here
excuse me
Andre's Beauty Salon
um your appointment is at uh yes 2 15.
thank you very much
are you a second I'm sorry oh yes about
the gray hair at the temple I well not
this gray hair gray hair like yes I
understand yeah well I told him that I'd
come down here buy some dye and learn
how to use it then he can touch up his
gray hair make it black again well now
this is an excellent preparation Mr uh
Wilson John Wilson nut oh that's for
that friend of mine of course not for me
yes I understand well I'll take some of
that and this really should be done by a
professional Mr Wilson a professional
yes Mr Andre could do a beautiful job on
your hair
but that isn't for me it's for this
friend of mine he's going to dye my hair
myself uh his hair myself
yeah keep the chance
[Music]
oh boy what's been doing in the beauty
shop Mr Wilson uh nothing Tommy nothing
nothing
Mr Wilson never mind Tommy I got it
because well that is I uh he probably
bought it for his wife Tommy what else
right Mr Wilson right Dennis oh bless
your little heart you never were so
right I you boys on your way home now
yes sir is there something we can do for
you there certainly is Mrs Wilson is
waiting for this would you get it to her
right away I'd just as soon not carry it
around downtown here
Bridge might lose it huh you're
absolutely right tell her I'll be home
in a couple of hours
well now I'm going to the men's shop and
get myself uh youthfulized
yeah useful
what does youthfulized mean Tommy I know
guess it means getting younger boy she's
starting off late
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oh
oh brother now what do we do well I
didn't mean to Tommy it just slipped
right out of the box Mr Wilson have a
family yeah I wonder how much it costs
it costs a lot mom uses it all the time
hey I know what what what Tommy what
well she just got a new bottle that she
hasn't even opened yet we'll put it in
this box here and give it to Mrs Wilson
she'll never know the difference boy
that'll save our life let's clean up
this mess and then we'll get it
[Music]
thank you
Eloise
meet the new John Wilson
well what do you think
well I think you'd better stay inside
off the streets before somebody sees you
I don't like it no frankly I don't
well dressing younger makes me feel
younger right now instead of a
middle-aged author I rather feel like a
an Angry Young Man you know if somebody
sold me a suit like that I'd be angry
too just wait till I finish my
youthfulizing process you'll see when I
get rid of the gray hair and oh by the
way did Dennis bring home a bottle of
dye for me yes dear it's in the kitchen
now really John isn't that being silly I
mean dyeing your hair Eloise business is
business if Miss Lamont wants a Young
author I'll be a Young author there's a
lot of money involved here but I wish I
could help you dear but I'm due at the
dentist's office right now I've got to
run no don't worry about me you go right
ahead when you get back I'll be so young
you may not even recognize me don't
worry dear I recognize you
miss you
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oh you are a handsome devil yeah
that's not just do the temples Johnny
Boy let's take all the gray out
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thank you
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what the
Halloween
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Eloise
she went to the dentist come in no don't
go
so I just came over to take it
peppers
what happened to your hair dye I got
from the beauty shop ruined it oh what a
mess you mean the guy I bought home for
Mrs Wilson it wasn't for Mrs Wilson it
was for me now please Dennis go home I'm
in trouble enough I'd love to go home Mr
Wilson the first or something I gotta
tell you
honestly Dennis I don't know how you'll
manage to do these things Jeepers I
didn't mean to do a dad like I told
Tommy it just slipped right out of the
box well it's all beside the point now
Henry Miss Lamont will be here at any
moment and look at me I'm a man
frankly John I don't know why you wanted
to darken your hair in the first place
you look very distinguished with it I
was trying to look younger Miss Lamont
expects a Young author somebody about
well about your age hey I've got an
extra idea Mr Wilson what do you want me
to do now paint my ears green well I
don't think that would help much but it
might help if Dad took your place today
took my place
sure the lady's never seen either one of
you and she's expecting somebody dad's
age
how about it Henry oh no I couldn't well
she'll only be here for a couple of
hours then she leaves town
I'd never fool that woman I'm no actor
oh you're not no no no look why don't
you pretend that you're meeting Miss
Lamont say how do you do I'm John Wilson
how do you do I'm John Wilson and you
say you're no actor so I learned to
Olivier couldn't have handled that line
better
come on now help me out do it oh Ali it
might be kind of fun that
all right I'll try it
I always knew you'd come in handy
sometime dad
[Music]
she's coming up now Mr Wilson okay um no
I'll be in the dining room if you need
I'll get rid of her just as fast as I
can okay
Dad I'll let her in
is this the residence of John Wilson yes
ma'am he's expecting you if you're Miss
Lamont I'm she darling are you an
offspring of his no ma'am I live next
door to him come on in thank you darling
[Music]
how do you do I'm John Wilson hey you
said
you said don't you sit down Miss Lamont
bless you darling
Mr Wilson attorney I know keep your
voice down
is that the material on your life Miss
Lamont just the high spots I really live
darling well I know you're a very busy
woman so we'll just have a short
discussion before we discuss anything
let me look at you
anything wrong
no you're just what I wanted young and a
wee bit innocent
oh fine
now let's get on with the mercenary
details darling
how much do you expect to be paid for
writing my life
would a hundred dollars be too much
running around
I'm going out there the Mr Wilson show I
know what I'm doing just be quiet
I'm glad to find you're so reasonable uh
most men are so unreasonable oh a pardon
the interruption who are you darling I
I'm John Wilson's lawyer and I seem to
have arrived just at the right moment
and my client did not mean that price of
a hundred dollars he said it
well you know how writers are they're
heads in the clouds No thoughts about
money oh that's me all right what he
intends to do is write your life in 10
Chapters at 100 per chapter at roughly a
thousand dollars very roughly
I'll pay him 500. he'll take it but he
doesn't like to d*ck her do you John oh
well you're the doctor
no Mr Wilson's a liar Wilson
oh I'm I'm also his brother he is my
brother Henry what a cozy arrangement
well that's why I came in without
knocking my brother's house is just like
my house yeah just like
and is that why you keep your hat on
oh uh well I wear it because I'm subject
to head cold and neurology I also have a
sinus condition
uh you're in foul-shaped darling
yes well and now that I'm here can I
clear up any other point
oh no I'd rather be alone with your
brother oh of course a very nice meeting
you miss Lamont
you're much nicer than your brother not
so used up looking thanks
well now we can start looking over the
material I must a little rag enough and
stay with us he has a home hasn't he
well well I don't want to go home my
father's a mean man he starves me and
beats me and that's enough about your
father
Keepers I was enjoying this
now we can really get on with it just
the two of us yes I'm I'm anxious to get
started on something oh
hello sweetheart you're home yes darling
I'd like you to meet Miss Norma Lamont
Miss Lamont this is my wife how do you
do Mrs Wilson
John's in the dining room and taking his
place and uh Ms lamott and I are talking
business I think you can find something
to keep you busy
oh
how do you do
John
[Music]
what is going on here why is Henry
taking your place
promise you won't laugh I promise
it's the last promise I'll ever make
wow
we can get back to this
imagine your father doing a thing like
that I wish I could see his performance
you can't see it Mark come over and be
Mrs Wilson she's at the dentist today no
I'll keep out of it I guess that would
be all right with Miss Lamont she wanted
me to get out of there so she could be
alone with Dad
oh
it was a good idea of yours Dennis I
will be Mrs Wilson come on
I think the first chapter of my life
should start with where I was born how
does that strike you well it's a good
suggestion bless you darling now
where should I be born
Paris Rome
or possibly Tahiti well where were you
born
Sheboygan Wisconsin
the cheboygan's not really me
hey look who I met outside Mrs Wilson
doc
[Music]
hello dear and you must be normal amount
and there's no doubt about that darling
but you are Mrs Wilson well you see I
certainly am
wow here we go again it's so nice to
meet you I've enjoyed your pictures ever
since I was just a little girl
lover I've been waiting for you my wife
don't ask any questions
I'm sorry to break in like this but I
told Alice to meet me here don't you
want to go and see your sister-in-law
Come Along come on
so she's your brother's wife for a
moment I didn't know what was going on I
know just how you feel she kissed you
very affectionately well we're a very
affectionate family don't you kiss your
sister's husband if I had a sister she
wouldn't let me near her husband
but with all these interruptions why it
must be time for you to go you can just
leave this material we still have time
we can carry on till
tell him to come back later Dennis
cranky all right Dennis we came over to
interview Ms Lamont and get some
pictures is she here yes but she can't
see it right now you better come back
later a lot later she'll make time for
the Press
I couldn't keep him out Miss Lamont
indeed well I don't know who these
people are but they have no that's my
newspaper Miss Lamont
oh the newspaper bless you guys
it's cranky he'll spill everything you
girls go out there and see if you can
help Henry get rid of him
but miss Lamont has to leave soon you'd
better get your interview and run along
crinky okay grab a picture bill
oh hello Miss
will be my guest understand Wilson's
doing some writing for you yes he's
agreed to write the fabulous story of my
life good how about a picture of you
with Wilson
splendid
I think you should take another picture
of Miss Lamont by herself yeah I just
took one oh well I think you should take
her profile she's famous for it yes it's
so lovely sweet of you to notice dear
okay now let's get Wilson
I'm taking the back of her head yeah
Juan Wilson not Mitchell
Mitchell yeah where's your husband Mrs
Wilson
oh I give up he's in there
I should have known it
let me handle this
when you're aging brother
do you need any legal advice no but I
think you're going to Darling
[Music]
please don't be angry with him Miss
Lamont he's really a fine writer yes he
just wanted you to think he was young
well I was so anxious to do the the
story of your fabulous life well you
definitely won't do it now
I'm in a Miss Lamont if you wanted a
young man you couldn't get one younger
than Mr Wilson Oh come now he's no
juvenile under that two-tone top I don't
mean on the outside that doesn't count
he's young inside really
he's my very best friend we get along
just like we were the same age oh likes
children
well I suppose he has some good
qualities but not only that he thinks
you're beautiful and kind and the best
actress in the world he does oh I do I
do I do you're his very favorite star
are you are you are
well perhaps I have been too hasty
darling if that's the way you feel about
me you should ride my life story oh
thank you Miss Lamont thank you and
thank you Dennison he's crazy about you
miss Lamont he even keeps a picture of
you in his desk I do I do
ah
so this is what you think of me I don't
think you look like General Grant it's
all a mistake you see I can explain
don't bother darling you are not going
to write my life story Miss Le Mans
you're too young in fact you're in your
second childhood
good day
thank you
[Music]
no wonder she's mad you made her look
just like General Grant
well at least I was right about that
never mind John you'll get plenty of
other jobs of course you will oh yeah
you've got a lot of talent
you can draw pictures for the comic
books
[Music]
thank you
[Music]
this has been a screen gems Film
Production
[Music]
04x30 - Never Say Dye
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.