-Well, Eloise?
-As I've always
said, John, hanging
is too good for that picture.
-Oh, now, Eloise.
Aunt Emma did give it
to us, And after all,
I am her favorite relative.
-Well, you're the only
relative she still speaks to.
-Well, that makes me her
favorite, doesn't it?
Oh, I hope Dennis doesn't
come bothering the poor soul
while she's here.
-That's not what's
bothering you, John Wilson.
You're afraid she'll
leave her money
to those pet charities
of hers, instead of you.
-Well, I-- I must admit,
I'd feel easier in my mind
if we could count on Aunt
Emma leaving us her money.
If anything happened to me,
what would you be left with?
A few thousand in
insurance, and old house
with a mortgage as big
as this living room,
and a trunk full
of old stories that
I haven't been able to sell.
-You forgot one thing, dear.
-What's that?
-I'd also be left with a
lifetime of wonderful memories.
-Aha, yes, you
would, wouldn't you?
But, uh, just try eating them
some time when you're hungry.
[chuckling]
[theme music]
-I wonder how Aunt Emma's
doing with her charities?
-Oh, some charities.
The East Bend Bird Bath
Association, the, uh,
Save Our Chipmunks Society,
the Square Dancing Club
for Retired Carpenters, the--
say, did you buy enough tea?
You know a tea drinker she is.
-Dear, if I bought any
more tea, the English
would have to switch to coffee.
-I still wish I could count
on your having Aunt Emma's
money, in case I
departed, unexpectedly.
-Just what makes
you so sure that you
will depart unexpectedly
before I do?
-Statistics show that
we men usually do.
-Oh!
-Evidently, you women
nag us to death.
-Now, John Wilson, I do not nag.
Dear, don't you think we
ought to call the state--
-Aha, ha, aha!
Now, Eloise, I've told
you a dozen times,
Aunt Emma's train doesn't
arrive until : .
Now I have a memory
like an elephant.
-Hm, mm, mm.
[doorbell ringing]
-If that's Dennis,
tell him I've gone
to the North Pole for Christmas.
[sigh]
MRS. WILSON
(OFFSCREEN): Aunt Emma!
-Aunt Emma?
-Why didn't that silly husband
of yours come and meet me?
-He was busy being nagged.
-Aunt Emma!
You're early.
-The train was two minutes late!
-Oh!
-Oh, stop pecking me!
-Yeah, uh, well, I--
I'm sorry, Aunt Emma.
I mean about missing the train.
-Oh, don't apologize.
I expected it.
-Oh.
Oh, uh, where--
where are your bags?
-Oh, some dear
little boy is going
to bring them up from the curb!
-[gasp] Uh, excuse me.
Oh, uh, Dennis, I'll take those.
-Oh, I'm doing fine, Mr. Wilson.
-Uh, Dennis,
Dennis, don't argue.
Give me the--
-Hasn't changed a bit, has he?
The clumsiest boy in town!
-Would you like to go up to
your room, now, Aunt Emma?
-No, I think I'll stay here
and rest a little while.
-Oh, that's fine, dear.
I'll go make you some hot tea.
-Oh, thank you, dear.
-Oh.
Uh, notice the picture
on the wall, Aunt Emma?
-I gave that to you two years
ago, because I detested it.
-Oh, uh, well it's-- it's
one of our favorites.
-Hey, Mr. Wilson, how come you
brought that funny old picture
out of the basement?
-Uh, we, uh, we were
cleaning it, down there.
-How are things with you, John?
-Uh, financially, you mean?
Uh, not good, Aunt Emma.
Not good at all.
-Mr. Wilson's not even getting
air condition for his new car.
Thank you.
Uh, the, uh, the
one's falling apart.
Just like the one-horse Shay.
TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): Dennis!
-That's Tommy.
I gotta go now.
-Well, I think we can
manage without you.
-I'll see you later, Aunt Emma.
-Hm.
I like him.
He's as bright as
a button, isn't he?
-I prefer zippers, myself.
Uh, you look very
well, Aunt Emma.
-Considering I haven't
been embalmed yet.
-Oh, I didn't mean that!
-My health is fine, John.
My lawyer's health
is even better.
And I haven't decided
whether to leave my money
to you, or to those
quaint little charities
you're always making fun of.
Now, will you just let me
relax and enjoy myself?
-Hey, guess what I
got new at my house.
-What, Seymour?
-A dumb old baby sister.
-A baby sister?
-Are you sure?
-Sure, I'm sure.
I already saw her.
And she's, uh, she's
little and red,
and she cries all the time.
-Yep, that's a baby
sister, all right.
-What are you gonna call her?
-I want to call her Oscar,
after my turtle that d*ed.
-Oscar isn't a
girl's name, Seymour.
-So what, Chuck?
How many dumb old
girls ever get a chance
to be named after a real turtle?
-Yeah!
-Gee, I never thought
of it that way.
-Hey, you guys, let's
get the game started.
-All right.
I'll go ask Mr. Wilson
to referee for us.
-I'll go with ya.
-Yeah, me too.
-Well, here comes
your tea, Aunt Emma.
-Careful, John, or you'll
spill it, as you usually do.
-Ha, ha.
I haven't spilled anything
since I was six years old.
Upp-upp!
-Mr. Wilson!
-Dennis!
-You were saying, John?
-Now look what you've done!
-I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.
We're gonna play basketball, and
we want you to referee for us.
-Oh, don't be silly.
You children don't
need a referee.
-Sure we do.
-We cheat!
-You could even use
my whistle, if you
promise not to get
bubble gum in it.
-Dennis, go dribble
someplace else.
-Now wait a minute, John.
I'll referee for the children.
-You, Aunt Emma?
-Oh, Aunt Emma,
don't be ridiculous.
-What do you know
about basketball?
-Well, I've never
played professionally.
But I've seen a
lot on television.
-That's OK with me!
Come on, Aunt Emma.
-Aunt Emma, you are not going!
-We all have to go
some time, John.
In my case, don't
hold your breath.
-Where's Aunt Emma going?
-To play basketball.
-Oh, that's n-- what?
-Well, actually,
she's refereeing.
And it's all Dennis' fault.
-Why?
Wouldn't he let her play?
-This is no laughing
matter, Eloise.
I'd better get out there
before she breaks some bones.
-Whose?
-Uh, eh-- all right.
Ea-easy fellas.
Just-- just get me to the couch.
-Be careful of him, boys.
Now be careful.
-I just want to stretch
out for a minute.
-You can put him down, there.
-If I don't sit
down, I'll fall down.
Thank you.
Thank you, Tommy.
-Here's the couch.
-Ugh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
-John!
John, what happened?
-Aunt Emma flattened him.
-I was running along,
minding my own business,
refereeing, when this husband
of yours gets in my way.
-I was standing
on the side line.
-Dennis, uh, tell him.
Where was he standing?
-Well, I guess his feet
were on the sidelines.
But Mr. Wilson's kind
of built going forward.
-Where does it hurt, dear?
-It would be easier to say
where it doesn't, Eloise.
-Aw.
Well, you just rest there.
I'll get a hot towel.
-Oh, you clumsy, clumsy boy!
[inaudible]
-How do you feel
now, Mr. Wilson?
-I presume I'll live, thank you.
Thank you.
-You don't look so good to me.
-You don't look so good
to me, either, Seymour.
-Your eyes are kind of
bloodshot, Mr. Wilson.
-Yeah, and your
head's kind of hot.
-Yep, he's going, all right.
-Oh, please!
-Here, dear.
-Ooh!
That's hot.
-John, you act like that's
the only head you've got.
-I better get going
home for lunch, Dennis.
-You look awful!
-Oh, ya miserable--
-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson,
maybe we ought
to shake your head to make
sure nothing's broken inside.
-Thank you, Dennis.
But right now I'm happy that
it's still attached to my body.
-It sure was nice of you to
referee for us, Aunt Emma.
And I'm glad you
didn't get hurt when
Mr. Wilson got in your way.
-Oh, well, thank you, Dennis.
Uh, Dennis, why
don't you come visit
a crabby old lady sometime?
-You really want me to?
-Well, of course, I do.
It does my own bones good to
see a bright, athletic little
gentleman like you.
Do you remember what a mess
you were at Dennis' age?
-I beg your pardon!
-Come to think of it, you've
changed remarkably little.
Well, what are you
waiting her for?
Go on home and get some lunch,
and come back and visit me!
-OK!
I'll see you all later!
Goodbye, Aunt Emma.
-Aw, he's all boy.
I like him.
-I'll call you when lunch
is ready, Aunt Emma.
EMMA (OFFSCREEN):
All right, dear.
[gasp]
-Eloise, did you
hear what she said?
-Oh, you mean about Dennis.
Oh, I thought she'd like him.
-Eloise, do you suppose Aunt
Emma is so eccentric that she
could suddenly become attached
to a little boy like Dennis,
and--
-John Wilson, will you please
stop worrying about that money?
-It isn't about me,
that I'm worrying.
-I know, dear.
But it's silly to
worry about me.
Why, if anything
did happen to you,
I-- I could always
get married again.
-Well, yes, I suppose
you-- married again!
Eloise, you wouldn't dare!
-Oh!
-I tell you, Eloise, that
kid's taking over my own house.
He's been under foot
the whole blessed day.
-That's nice, dear.
-And the way he's
monopolizing Aunt Emma's time,
it's-- that nice, dear?
Eloise, aren't you
listening to me?
-Well, of course, I am, dear.
-I can't get a word in
edgewise with my own aunt.
-John, what are you
carrying on about?
-My favorite aunt!
That's what I'm
carrying on about.
-There!
-Think you're pretty
smart, don't you?
-Well, I have won
four straight games.
-Well, when I want the
team standings, young man,
I will ask you for them.
-Uh, Dennis, it's
almost dinner time.
-Must you talk all
the time, John?
-Um--
-Now with the right move,
I could sew up this game.
-Oh, boy!
Thanks, Mr. Wilson!
-Well, I hope you're
proud of yourself, nosey!
-Yoo-hoo!
Aunt Emma!
I have a surprise for ya-- uh!
Aunt Emma!
Aunt--eh, oh.
-Oh, hello, dear.
What have you there?
-Some of Aunt Emma's
favorite candy.
Aunt Emma!
-She's next door
with Dennis, dear.
-Next door with Dennis?
What's she doing there?
-Why, I don't know.
Maybe he's throwing her a party.
-Throwing her a party?
Well, why wasn't I invited?
-Probably, because
you weren't here.
-Oh!
-Well, who's winning?
-Did you ever see a
winner at Monopoly look
as disgusted as I do?
-Well, Aunt Emma?
-Don't push me.
Don't push me.
Hm.
This lad of yours is a
tough businessman, Henry.
-Uh, yes.
He's just a chip
off the old block.
Isn't that right, dear?
-Oh, anything you say, dear.
-Now that's what I call
a well-trained wife.
-A well-trained wife who is
going to buy a new hat, today.
-Bu-- a new hat?
-Thanks, Aunt Emma.
-Uh, let me see, now.
Uh, I'll give you a piece of
property with two houses on it.
And then, there's
my apartment house.
-Is that all?
-And last, but not least,
I can give you my farm.
-Aunt Emma!
Whoa!
-John, next time, try the door.
-Eloise, are sure we moved
all my notes out of this desk
when we were taking
things down to the-- uh.
Well!
Imagine Aunt Emma
leaving her diary open
for-- for just anyone to see.
-Put it away.
-Uh, that's what I intend to do.
[gasp] Listen to this!
-John!
-"I'm getting fonder and fonder
of dear little Dennis every
day.
And John is still the clumsiest.
He got hit on the head
again this afternoon.
Eloise, she hates me.
-Oh, John!
-Oh, John, nothing!
I've got to do something,
and do it fast.
Or that kid will wind up
with Aunt Emma's money.
The way they've
been going around
together for the
last three days,
I expect Dennis to
give her his class pin.
-John!
Dennis is merely being
kind to a little old lady.
-Well, that may be so.
But Aunt Emma is
my little old lady.
If Dennis wants to be
kind to a little old lady,
let him find one of his own!
-And there's a daddy long legs.
And that's a water bug.
And there's a dumb old beetle.
-Fascinating.
Simply fascinating.
-Well, how is my
favorite aunt doing?
-Oh, hello, John.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Hi.
Are those bugs?
-Of course not.
They're the little people
Dennis is experimenting with.
-I could believe it.
Um, uh, Dennis, it's
nearly o'clock.
Don't you think--
-Oh, for heaven's sake.
Stop clucking like a
nervous house mother.
-Some bug collection, huh?
-Dennis, without a doubt, that
is the finest bug collection
I have ever seen.
-Have you ever had a bug
collection, Aunt Emma?
-My dear, I'm sorry to say, that
a first-class bug collection
is the one thing that I
have missed in my lifetime.
-That's a shame.
Hey, there's a pirate movie
on television tomorrow night.
Do you like pirates?
-Well, I've never
met any personally,
although my late husband
owned a sword belonging
to [inaudible] Yin, the
famous Chinese pirate.
-No kidding?
-It was about this long,
with real blood on the blade.
-Boy, would I like to
see a sword like that!
-My lawyer has it
for safe keeping.
He was afraid I'd
lose my temper and run
somebody through with it.
-I tell you, Eloise, Dennis has
brainwashed that naive little
old lady into believing that
he can do nothing wrong.
-John, I give up!
-Um, what are those?
-Trading stamps.
Only , more books
and I can get a yacht.
-If Dennis does
get her money, it's
unfair to me and those other
needy charities of hers.
-John Wilson, just look at you!
Aunt Emma's leaving
day after tomorrow.
But instead of
enjoying her visit,
you-- you've turned yourself
into a nervous wreck
over nothing.
-Over nothing?
-Over nothing!
For no reason at all,
you've convinced yourself
that Aunt Emma's going to
leave her money to Dennis
instead of you.
And John, you're
behaving very badly.
-Goodnight, my dear.
Uh, do you mind if
I give you a kiss?
-Well, if it's something
you just gotta do.
You're nice, Aunt
Emma, for a woman.
-Ooh!
That does it!
Scat, young man, before
I get my pirate sword!
-You know, Eloise,
you may be right.
The idea of Aunt Emma
leaving her loot to Dennis
is kind of ludicrous, isn't it?
-Heh, heh, heh.
Here, dear.
Finish this book for me, OK?
-All right.
Let's see.
-Well, at last you're
doing something useful.
-Thank you.
-Incidentally, John.
I decided what to do about
those charities of mine.
-You have?
I am bequeathing
each on them $ .
And letting it go, at that.
You happier now?
-Well, yes.
Yes, I am.
That is a very wise
decision, Aunt Emma.
-Good!
Now I'm going to my room to
write my lawyer about Dennis.
-You see, Eloise, it all wor--
write her lawyer about Dennis!
-Hey, Mom.
-Why aren't you asleep, son?
-I've got a problem.
-Mom, could I get a good,
hard-wearing handkerchief
for $ . ?
-Why, yes.
I'd say you could, dear.
-Why?
Are you expecting a runny nose?
-No.
But Aunt Emma's leaving for
home the day after tomorrow,
and I want to get her a
little going away present.
-Why, that's very
thoughtful of you.
-Especially since $ . 's don't
grow on trees for little boys.
-I don't really want
to get Aunt Emma
any old $ . handkerchief.
-Well, I'm sure Aunt Emma would
like whatever you give her,
dear.
-Well, I know what I'd
really like to give her.
But the trouble is, it's mine.
And I kind of like it, myself.
-You do have a
problem, don't you?
-What would you do, Mom,
if you were in my shoes?
-Well, I'd say that if you
think enough of someone
to want to give
him, or her, a gift,
the more you like the gift
yourself, the more you'll
enjoy giving it.
-Yeah, I guess you're right.
And I've got just the gift
to enjoy giving to Aunt Emma!
Goodnight.
-Goodnight, son.
-Goodnight, dear.
-Oh, thank you.
Thank you, very much.
Well, Aunt Emma, your tickets
are all taken care of.
Your train leaves at
: in the morning.
-Thank you, John.
-Although, I wish
you changed your mind
and stay a while longer.
-Oh, no.
I don't want to
wear out my welcome.
Besides, I've got to get
home and water my plants.
[doorbell ringing]
MRS. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):
I'll get it.
Hello, dear.
-Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
Hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Uh, it's you again, isn't it?
-Hi, dear.
Hi, Aunt Emma.
-Oh!
What's this?
-It's a going away present.
-Apple polisher.
-A going away present?
-Go ahead.
Open it.
-Oh, shall I?
Oh, for goodness
sakes, what is it?
Your bug collection!
And I thought it was
something to eat.
-Well, if you were
a frog, I guess.
-Why, that's your most
treasured possession.
I can't accept this.
-Sure, you can.
You gotta!
When you like a person
real well, like I do you,
you want to give them
something that you like, too.
So you can enjoy giving
it, that much more.
Isn't that right, Mr. Wilson?
-That's right, Dennis.
-Everybody knows it's much more
fun to give than to receive.
Isn't that right, Mr. Wilson?
-Oh, uh, that's right, Dennis.
-I think this is the
most wonderful present
I have ever had in my life.
And I'll never
forget your for it.
-Well, I gotta go now
and study my arithmetic.
Goodnight, Aunt Emma.
I'll see you tomorrow
before I go to school.
-All right, dear.
Goodnight, dear.
-Goodnight, Mrs.
Wilson and Mr. Wilson.
-Goodnight.
Eloise, I feel terrible.
-Dear, you ought to.
Now I think you had better
go in there and talk to her.
-Aunt Emma, there's
something I wa--
I wa- there's something I--
-Oh, stop stuttering, John.
What is it?
-Aunt Emma, I've been thinking.
I've been behaving very
badly, since you've been here,
and I'm sorry.
And I want you to know that,
I don't want your money.
I don't deserve your money.
And Eloise and I will get along
very nicely on what we have.
-Oh, is that so?
Well, I'm glad you told me.
I won't leave you my money,
as I was planning to.
-You were planning to?
But that letter to your
lawyer about Dennis?
-Oh, that.
Merely instructions
to send the child
an old pirate sword of mine.
-Th-- then you
weren't going to--
-No, John.
I wasn't.
[sigh]
-What am I going to do?
I laid awake all night,
worrying about it.
-Well, you might as
well relax, dear.
I'm afraid there's
nothing you can do.
[doorbell ringing]
-Good morning, Mr. Wilson.
Good morning, Mrs. Wilson.
-Good morning, dear.
-Good morning, Aunt Emma.
-Oh, good morning, dear.
And did you do that
arithmetic last night?
-Yes, ma'am.
I'm on my way to school now.
I'm studying long division.
-Oh.
By the way, in a
few days, a package
is coming for you,
containing a pirate's sword
that I was telling you about.
-Boy, you mean, I'm
gonna get to see it?
-To see it?
You're going to get to keep it!
-To keep it?
Thanks, Aunt Emma!
Wow!
Did you hear that Mr. Wilson?
-Yes, Dennis.
I think we'd better get started.
-As for you, John.
You still don't want
any of my money, right?
-That's right.
-All right, then.
I leave everything
I have to Eloise.
-Eloise?
-Oh, John, must
you be so clumsy?
Yes, I'm leaving all
my money to Eloise.
She'll need a nest
egg in her old age,
having to take care of a-- a
clumsy do-do bird like you.
-Thank you, Aunt Emma.
Hm.
That's very generous of you.
-Jeepers, Mrs. Wilson.
If you're going to
get a lot of money,
I'll come over and help
you count it every night,
on account of, I'm real
good at arithmetic.
Won't that be fun, Mr. Wilson?
-Oh, that'll be
peachy, dandy, Dennis.
[theme music]
04x38 - Aunt Emma Visits the Wilsons
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.