01x07 - The Five Finger Discount
Posted: 11/13/23 05:09
I am so stoked.
I know, I've been waiting
over a year for this day to
come.
This day is today, right?
Last time I checked!
Opening day, yes!
And you're sure we have
tickets?
Yup, the girls had to wait in
line for six hours but they got
them.
JUDE: Right day?
Check.
Tickets?
Check.
Oh it's on, baby!
Dragon Thunder,here we come!
And how great is that trailer?
ALL: In a world where right
is wrong and might is king, five
rebel warriors hold the key--
Schwing!
To salvation!
But you can't k*ll them all.
It's impossible.
Just try and stop me!
Who are you?
ALL:Dragon Thunder!
Hi-ya!
Whoa!
[Thudding]
Ah!
[Laughing]
[Grunting]
♪
♪ Life begins after school
♪ That's when we bend
all the rules ♪
♪ Time to hang
with all my friends ♪
♪ We like to be together
in a place where we belong ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Starting to find my way
♪ Got a new job
♪ Gonna start at
the mall today ♪
♪ Thank God I'm on my own
for the first time ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Life is sweet
♪ When you're growing up
so fast ♪
♪ You got to make the good
times last ♪
♪
♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen
♪ Got to make the good
times last ♪
[Groaning]
Ever wonder what it would be
like to be hit in the stomach by
a bowling ball?
No, why?
Ugh, because I think it would
feel a lot like this!
Hey, guys.
Chick friends, what's up?
Yo, thanks for copying me on
that mushy spill your guts love
email to that Alex dude last
night.
[Gasping]
What are you talking about?
The email you sent to him
last night asking him to the
dance.
What did you say?
He has eyes like swimming pools.
[Laughing]
But, how did you know that?
[Throat clearing]
Uh, actually I saw it too,
Caitlin.
Ditto.
[Gasping]
Did you see it?
I memorized it.
I thought it was sweet in a
mushy kind of way.
Y-you got it too?
Yeah, don't you hate it when
you accidentally send an email
to all students instead of to
Alex?
[Laughing]
Oh this is so embarrassing.
What did she say?
If he took her to the dance--
She'd be the happiest girl in
the school.
Like you guys are so good at
this.
When was the last time either of
you had a girlfriend?
Uh.
Mm.
[Scoffing]
I thought so.
Whoa, Caitlin, I'm not used
to seeing this side of you.
Yeah, well, that's what utter
humiliation can do to a person.
Come on, kids, let's not
fight.
Yeah, not when we're nine
hours and twenty-three minutes
away from the life changing
event that is Dragon Thunder!
Just look at us.
Oh, best friends banding
together to share our love of
mindless action and v*olence.
It's so pure.
Ah!
Group hug?
I'm on duty.
I can't do anything fun.
[Laughing]
Good one.
Hey, that's something I
wanted to bring up.
How come none of you respect my
work ethic?
Your work ethic?
[Laughing]
Okay, stop, you're k*lling me.
Is that what you want?
Because I can arrange that.
[Screaming]
[Gulping]
[Screaming]
Ugh, guys, my stomach is
k*lling.
I don't think I can handle a
movie tonight.
No, you don't really mean
that, do you?
She just said she did.
Sheesh, nobody listens around
here.
Ugh, excuse me, I think I
have to go somewhere and die.
But this was supposed to be
all six of us together.
You know this always happens to
me.
Why doesn't anything ever work
out anymore?
[Sobbing]
Okay, that was really weird.
I don't get girls.
One of them being moody is
pretty much the norm, but all
three?
I smell some serious issues.
I think this is one of those
TV shows where they play a joke
on you.
I bet you they're all in on it!
He's right, dude!
They're all sisters.
They stick together.
[Sighing]
Do you see any cameras here?
Dude, they can hide them
anywhere.
Okay, there is no camera in
the plant.
We probably just arrived at the
end of an argument and it will
all be cool.
Ah, the pocket cargo
cords imported from Indonesia.
I-I remember the first time I
sold a pair of these.
Let me find your size.
Of course, you know, they,
um, they still allow child
labour in some parts of
Indonesia.
This very pair could have been
made by tiny five year old
Indonesian girl hands.
Oh, but, you enjoy them.
Ah...
Wait, w-what?
Was it something I said?
Come back.
[Grunting]
[Kissing]
Oh my.
Be careful, dear.
You want to tell me how to do
my job?
Go ahead!
I dare you!
[Screaming]
We should talk to them and
make sure they're still cool for
the movie tonight.
They'd better be.
They got the tickets.
With or without them we're
seeing Dragon Thunder tonight.
Agreed.
I'll talk to Nikki.
Jonesy, you take Jen, and Jude
can talk to Caitlin.
Hey, how come I have to take
the scary one?
Uh, you both work in the food
court.
Can't argue with that logic.
I've got to book, I'm starting
at Super Terrific Happy Sushi
today.
Ugh.
After Caitlin's sushi
puke-a-thon?
How can you do it?
This is what happens when
you've already been fired from
all the cool stores in the mall.
I'm going in.
Hey!
Hai!
Ugh, sick.
You, remove, now!
[Sniffing]
[Stomach grumbling]
[Gasping]
You are afraid of the fish.
No, I'm afraid of the barf.
Then you must learn the way
of the sushi!
Okay, now I'm getting
pranked.
It is an ancient Japanese art
built upon the Samurai code.
You are my pupil, I am your
sensei.
Hey, as long as I don't have
to eat the stuff, I'm game.
First, you must join our
daily practice of, hi-ya,
karashi.
Uh, do you mean karate?
No, karashi.
It's where karate and sushi join
force to conquer ordinary North
American buffet menu.
Kuni!
Hai!
Listen, if this is some kind
of cult thing--
Karashi!
KUNI: Hai!
First move, spawning salmon.
Hai!
Hm.
HIRO: Crouching shrimp.
Hai!
[Grunting]
Probably should've stretched
first.
HIRO: Prancing tuna!
Hai!
Ack!
[Cracking]
[Screaming]
Next time, I do hiring!
NIKKI: Come back soon.
Have a khaki day.
Um, so, like, have you guys
noticed the way Nikki's acting
today?
Oh, she's so up to something.
Oh, I'm going to miss that
guy.
He really understood cargos, you
know?
Uh, yeah.
Sure, Nikki.
That sweater is so adorable
on you.
[Popping]
All right, that's it!
What kind of sick twisted game
are you playing?
I don't know.
I just, uh, I woke up this
morning and thought wouldn't it
be nice if we were all friends?
Maybe even, I don't know, had a
sleepover?
Aw, that sounds fun!
Wait a minute, stop messing with
our minds!
Hm.
WYATT: What's up?
Wyatt!
Oh, it's so good to see you.
Ooh!
So, uh, looking forward to
seeing Dragon Thunder tonight?
Sure, but first, chocolate.
Mm.
If I could marry this chocolate
bar, mm, I would.
Oh well.
Mm, want a bite?
Wyatt?
Why does everyone keep leaving
me?
HIRO: For the next hour you
must use only the chopsticks and
not your hands to accomplish all
tasks.
No problem, Sensei.
Yes?
Just making sure these things
work.
What?
Didn't mean to bother you
before.
[Drumming]
Hm.
Big finish!
[Drumming]
And the crowd goes wild!
I rule!
Ahh!
[Grunting]
[Screaming]
Who ordered a walrus?
[Grunting]
[Scratching]
Oh yeah, just a little lower.
Oh, that's the spot!
HIRO: Enough!
Hiro, my sensei man, has it
been an hour already?
[Grunting]
CAITLIN: And this is for
stupid email mailbox screw-ups!
And this is for pimples!
Hey, Caitlin.
Can't you see I'm busy?
[Gasping]
BOY: Ow.
[Gulping]
Uh, yeah.
So are you psyched to see
Dragon Thunder tonight, or what?
I don't have time to think
about that, Jude!
I'm, like, seriously behind on
my lemon squeezing and now I am
running out of lemons and you
don't even care!
[Grunting]
Before you can cut the fish
you must become the fish.
Dude, you're kind of asking a
lot for a minimum wage job.
[Grunting]
Okay.
But don't get your hopes up.
Close your eyes!
[Gasping]
Be the fish!
[Gulping]
Well this is dumb.
Okay, think fish.
Fish and chips, extra ketchup.
[Growling]
Okay, come on, focus.
Be the fish, Jonesy, be the
fish.
I did it!
I'm the fish!
[Screaming]
[Thudding]
Progress at last?
Maybe fish aren't so gross
after all.
I kind of feel sorry for them.
Ah, so it is.
So it must be.
Now, clean up that rice!
Hm, can I take a break first?
[Grunting]
See, there's this movie
tonight--
Hai!
Hai.
[Glass breaking]
You clean other mess now too.
Aw, man.
[Groaning]
Masterson, what are you doing
in the box?
> Gave myself a penalty, Coach.
What for?
Borrowing the merchandise.
What are you doing with that
hot water bottle?
It's for cramps.
Uh, female cramps.
Uh, well, uh, right.
Well, uh--
[Throat clearing]
Keep it up.
Very nice, good good.
I'm off to go over there.
Yes, sir.
[Phone ringing]
Oh, this better be good.
Hey, Jen, just wanted to make
sure you're still into seeing
Dragon Thunder.
Jonesy, I can't talk right
now.
But you always take calls at
work.
[Beeping]
What?
[Moaning]
Okay, one of you needs to
give me a tampon right now!
I don't have to do anything
right now.
I'm on a penalty.
Fine.
But don't come running to me the
next time Aunt Flo comes to
town.
No one says Aunt Flo anymore.
Maybe I do, Miss know it all.
Who are you calling a know it
all?
Guys, stop fighting!
She started it.
I don't care.
There are much worse things
going on here, like, I can't
stop eating chocolate.
But you hate chocolate.
I know.
[Gulping]
[Gasping]
Wait, you're eating chocolate
and you're grumpy.
Is it your time of the month?
[Groaning]
Mmhmm.
Mine too!
Do you realize what this means?
Our cycles have synced up.
No way!
That's the first sign of close
friendship.
We should celebrate!
Oh, so that's why you guys were
acting so weird.
Us?
You made pit bulls look
friendly.
I'm sorry, it must be my PMS.
I do get a little irritable.
At least we know what's been
bugging us.
[Buzzing]
Oh, let's go shopping.
Think we can all keep the
mood swings under control?
What mood swings?
What are you looking at?
Come back here!
I want to talk to you.
[Screaming]
[Whistling]
Well, it's official.
Nikki's gone mental.
What about Caitlin?
Please don't make me go back
there.
Guys, I did not wait a year
to see Dragon Thunder, just to
have the girls freak out on
opening day!
Let's just stay calm and
think this through.
But they've got the tickets!
They're always one step ahead
of us.
Women.
Wait, why don't we just buy
new tickets?
It's so simple, it just might
work!
Yo, Darth, the death star is
that way.
[Laughing]
There's no one in the box
office.
What?
Maybe we can wait in line
with the Jedi dude.
Actually this line is for
ticket holders only.
Besides, Dragon Thunder is
already sold out.
ALL: No!
Aw, that's a shame.
So let me get this straight.
The movie's sold out and the
girls are holding our tickets
hostage.
Things could not suck any
harder.
Okay, uh, let's not panic,
people.
Keep it together.
[Panting]
[Whimpering]
Dude, paper bag.
[Breathing]
We have to get our tickets!
Wait, I may have a plan.
Meet me at Super Terrific Happy
Sushi in five.
Cramp muscle relaxants for
me, Tranquil Thai Tea for
Caitlin.
A pound of chocolate for me.
And tampons for everyone.
Take one pill every four
hours.
Yeah, for normal cramps
maybe.
[Chewing]
[Gasping]
Okay, Caitlin, go buy.
But that cashier is so cute!
You do it, please?
No way!
I can't!
I know him.
Leon Treds jacket incident,
remember?
Well, somebody better pay
soon.
Fine, we'll settle it like
adults.
ALL: Rock, Paper, Scissors!
Darn it!
Off you go.
Oh here, ring this in.
[Sighing]
Hey!
Hi, um, I just need to buy
these.
Fancy farming?
I love nature.
Professional auto racer?
I'm getting my license this
year.
Senior health and wellness?
Uh, I...
Look young for my age.
Tampo--
Whoa, uh.
Right.
Okay, yes.
They're tampons.
I'm buying tampons!
Man, guys can be such squeamish
little babies.
I-I was just looking for the
price tag.
Oh, sorry.
Hiro-san, this is Wyatt and
Jude.
Guys, this is my sensei.
Wise elder, we need guidance.
You are having female
trouble.
He's good.
Defend yourself by instinct
alone.
[Thudding]
Ow!
Block my blows and find the
truth within the strike.
This is so cool.
Hi-ya!
[Thudding]
Not as cool, bro.
Today, you battle the dragon.
And her name is Caitlin.
HIRO: Hi-ya!
Ow.
Your prey is proud and
fierce.
To defeat the enemy you must
know her better than she know
herself.
Hi-ya!
Ow!
Dude, I didn't say anything.
Look within to find the power
source of your foe.
Hi-ya!
[Grunting]
HIRO:Look within, look
within, look within, look
within.
That's it!
Within their bags.
That's where the tickets are.
Come on, guys.
All right!
Yes.
No, that's not it!
Get back here!
Jonesy, you're fired!
Gentlemen, our enemy is
smart, strong, and quite
possibly insane.
If we want those tickets we must
be stealthy, and we must be
focused.
Flinch once and you're dead!
[Screaming]
Okay, starting now.
Flinch and you're dead!
Dude.
Time for operation ticket
thunder.
I finally know what you mean
by shopping therapy.
That mellow tea is so groovy.
How are the cramps, Jen?
Ah, so gone.
I'm hobally...tobally...fully
going to sleep well tonight.
How much further?
[Yawning]
Not long, you can do it.
This is the longest hallway
in the entire world.
Look at those cute sweaters!
BOTH: Ooh, eee!
It's time to get those
tickets.
Coms.
Check.
Sweet.
Which one of them has the
tickets?
Could be any one of them.
We'll have to check all
three.
Here we go boys.
I have the dragon in my
sights.
Oh, nice!
I've got hurricane in my
sights.
[Snoring]
Jonesy, you on Jen?
Like a dirty shirt.
Warriors of the fish, be storm
your targets!
Be storm?
Just get the bags!
Huh?
[Sighing]
Mission accomplished!
Gah, tampons!
Retreat, retreat!
[Screaming]
[Panting]
Hm?
So that's what this was all
about.
What?
I heard some girls get moody
when they get their--
[Throat clearing]
Nice purse, Jude.
[Screaming]
Hey!
Get him!
[Yawning]
Are we walking again?
[Screaming]
[Panting]
I can't believe you stole my
bag!
Chill, Miss Piggy.
I only ate one of your chocolate
bars.
Oh, that's it!
What is with you?
So immature, guys.
[Yawning]
Look, just give us the
tickets and we'll leave you
alone.
Wait, that's all you wanted?
Yeah.
Why didn't you just ask?
I gave them to Jude this
morning.
Oh yeah.
I forgot.
[Laughing]
Last one there buys the chewy
nuggets!
He had them all along?
I'm going to k*ll him!
[Screaming]
Jude!
Get back here!
Hey!
[Snoring]
[Murmuring]
That was awesome.
And they left it open for a
sequel.
Not that I'll be able to buy
a ticket since I'm unemployed
again.
Too bad all your new sword
fighting skills will go to
waste.
Hm, not necessarily.
Yo, Darth.
Would you like me to explain
the story for you?
I'll use small words so you'll
be sure to understand.
Silence!
I challenge you to a duel.
Food court, ten minutes.
My honour shall be avenged.
Well then, I accept.
♪
Jedi Knight, your butt is
mine!
You don't frighten me, sushi
boy!
[Grunting]
I know what you're thinking.
How did this novice get so good
with a sword?
[Grunting]
Has he been training in secret
or does the Force run strong in
this one?
No!
It is the way of the sushi!
Hai!
[Screaming]
[Laughing]
WYATT: Look at you.
Oh boy.
No, not again!
I'll be back!
And that, my friends, is the
way of the sushi.
You are still fired, Jonesy!
Aw!
♪
I know, I've been waiting
over a year for this day to
come.
This day is today, right?
Last time I checked!
Opening day, yes!
And you're sure we have
tickets?
Yup, the girls had to wait in
line for six hours but they got
them.
JUDE: Right day?
Check.
Tickets?
Check.
Oh it's on, baby!
Dragon Thunder,here we come!
And how great is that trailer?
ALL: In a world where right
is wrong and might is king, five
rebel warriors hold the key--
Schwing!
To salvation!
But you can't k*ll them all.
It's impossible.
Just try and stop me!
Who are you?
ALL:Dragon Thunder!
Hi-ya!
Whoa!
[Thudding]
Ah!
[Laughing]
[Grunting]
♪
♪ Life begins after school
♪ That's when we bend
all the rules ♪
♪ Time to hang
with all my friends ♪
♪ We like to be together
in a place where we belong ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Starting to find my way
♪ Got a new job
♪ Gonna start at
the mall today ♪
♪ Thank God I'm on my own
for the first time ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Life is sweet
♪ When you're growing up
so fast ♪
♪ You got to make the good
times last ♪
♪
♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen
♪ Got to make the good
times last ♪
[Groaning]
Ever wonder what it would be
like to be hit in the stomach by
a bowling ball?
No, why?
Ugh, because I think it would
feel a lot like this!
Hey, guys.
Chick friends, what's up?
Yo, thanks for copying me on
that mushy spill your guts love
email to that Alex dude last
night.
[Gasping]
What are you talking about?
The email you sent to him
last night asking him to the
dance.
What did you say?
He has eyes like swimming pools.
[Laughing]
But, how did you know that?
[Throat clearing]
Uh, actually I saw it too,
Caitlin.
Ditto.
[Gasping]
Did you see it?
I memorized it.
I thought it was sweet in a
mushy kind of way.
Y-you got it too?
Yeah, don't you hate it when
you accidentally send an email
to all students instead of to
Alex?
[Laughing]
Oh this is so embarrassing.
What did she say?
If he took her to the dance--
She'd be the happiest girl in
the school.
Like you guys are so good at
this.
When was the last time either of
you had a girlfriend?
Uh.
Mm.
[Scoffing]
I thought so.
Whoa, Caitlin, I'm not used
to seeing this side of you.
Yeah, well, that's what utter
humiliation can do to a person.
Come on, kids, let's not
fight.
Yeah, not when we're nine
hours and twenty-three minutes
away from the life changing
event that is Dragon Thunder!
Just look at us.
Oh, best friends banding
together to share our love of
mindless action and v*olence.
It's so pure.
Ah!
Group hug?
I'm on duty.
I can't do anything fun.
[Laughing]
Good one.
Hey, that's something I
wanted to bring up.
How come none of you respect my
work ethic?
Your work ethic?
[Laughing]
Okay, stop, you're k*lling me.
Is that what you want?
Because I can arrange that.
[Screaming]
[Gulping]
[Screaming]
Ugh, guys, my stomach is
k*lling.
I don't think I can handle a
movie tonight.
No, you don't really mean
that, do you?
She just said she did.
Sheesh, nobody listens around
here.
Ugh, excuse me, I think I
have to go somewhere and die.
But this was supposed to be
all six of us together.
You know this always happens to
me.
Why doesn't anything ever work
out anymore?
[Sobbing]
Okay, that was really weird.
I don't get girls.
One of them being moody is
pretty much the norm, but all
three?
I smell some serious issues.
I think this is one of those
TV shows where they play a joke
on you.
I bet you they're all in on it!
He's right, dude!
They're all sisters.
They stick together.
[Sighing]
Do you see any cameras here?
Dude, they can hide them
anywhere.
Okay, there is no camera in
the plant.
We probably just arrived at the
end of an argument and it will
all be cool.
Ah, the pocket cargo
cords imported from Indonesia.
I-I remember the first time I
sold a pair of these.
Let me find your size.
Of course, you know, they,
um, they still allow child
labour in some parts of
Indonesia.
This very pair could have been
made by tiny five year old
Indonesian girl hands.
Oh, but, you enjoy them.
Ah...
Wait, w-what?
Was it something I said?
Come back.
[Grunting]
[Kissing]
Oh my.
Be careful, dear.
You want to tell me how to do
my job?
Go ahead!
I dare you!
[Screaming]
We should talk to them and
make sure they're still cool for
the movie tonight.
They'd better be.
They got the tickets.
With or without them we're
seeing Dragon Thunder tonight.
Agreed.
I'll talk to Nikki.
Jonesy, you take Jen, and Jude
can talk to Caitlin.
Hey, how come I have to take
the scary one?
Uh, you both work in the food
court.
Can't argue with that logic.
I've got to book, I'm starting
at Super Terrific Happy Sushi
today.
Ugh.
After Caitlin's sushi
puke-a-thon?
How can you do it?
This is what happens when
you've already been fired from
all the cool stores in the mall.
I'm going in.
Hey!
Hai!
Ugh, sick.
You, remove, now!
[Sniffing]
[Stomach grumbling]
[Gasping]
You are afraid of the fish.
No, I'm afraid of the barf.
Then you must learn the way
of the sushi!
Okay, now I'm getting
pranked.
It is an ancient Japanese art
built upon the Samurai code.
You are my pupil, I am your
sensei.
Hey, as long as I don't have
to eat the stuff, I'm game.
First, you must join our
daily practice of, hi-ya,
karashi.
Uh, do you mean karate?
No, karashi.
It's where karate and sushi join
force to conquer ordinary North
American buffet menu.
Kuni!
Hai!
Listen, if this is some kind
of cult thing--
Karashi!
KUNI: Hai!
First move, spawning salmon.
Hai!
Hm.
HIRO: Crouching shrimp.
Hai!
[Grunting]
Probably should've stretched
first.
HIRO: Prancing tuna!
Hai!
Ack!
[Cracking]
[Screaming]
Next time, I do hiring!
NIKKI: Come back soon.
Have a khaki day.
Um, so, like, have you guys
noticed the way Nikki's acting
today?
Oh, she's so up to something.
Oh, I'm going to miss that
guy.
He really understood cargos, you
know?
Uh, yeah.
Sure, Nikki.
That sweater is so adorable
on you.
[Popping]
All right, that's it!
What kind of sick twisted game
are you playing?
I don't know.
I just, uh, I woke up this
morning and thought wouldn't it
be nice if we were all friends?
Maybe even, I don't know, had a
sleepover?
Aw, that sounds fun!
Wait a minute, stop messing with
our minds!
Hm.
WYATT: What's up?
Wyatt!
Oh, it's so good to see you.
Ooh!
So, uh, looking forward to
seeing Dragon Thunder tonight?
Sure, but first, chocolate.
Mm.
If I could marry this chocolate
bar, mm, I would.
Oh well.
Mm, want a bite?
Wyatt?
Why does everyone keep leaving
me?
HIRO: For the next hour you
must use only the chopsticks and
not your hands to accomplish all
tasks.
No problem, Sensei.
Yes?
Just making sure these things
work.
What?
Didn't mean to bother you
before.
[Drumming]
Hm.
Big finish!
[Drumming]
And the crowd goes wild!
I rule!
Ahh!
[Grunting]
[Screaming]
Who ordered a walrus?
[Grunting]
[Scratching]
Oh yeah, just a little lower.
Oh, that's the spot!
HIRO: Enough!
Hiro, my sensei man, has it
been an hour already?
[Grunting]
CAITLIN: And this is for
stupid email mailbox screw-ups!
And this is for pimples!
Hey, Caitlin.
Can't you see I'm busy?
[Gasping]
BOY: Ow.
[Gulping]
Uh, yeah.
So are you psyched to see
Dragon Thunder tonight, or what?
I don't have time to think
about that, Jude!
I'm, like, seriously behind on
my lemon squeezing and now I am
running out of lemons and you
don't even care!
[Grunting]
Before you can cut the fish
you must become the fish.
Dude, you're kind of asking a
lot for a minimum wage job.
[Grunting]
Okay.
But don't get your hopes up.
Close your eyes!
[Gasping]
Be the fish!
[Gulping]
Well this is dumb.
Okay, think fish.
Fish and chips, extra ketchup.
[Growling]
Okay, come on, focus.
Be the fish, Jonesy, be the
fish.
I did it!
I'm the fish!
[Screaming]
[Thudding]
Progress at last?
Maybe fish aren't so gross
after all.
I kind of feel sorry for them.
Ah, so it is.
So it must be.
Now, clean up that rice!
Hm, can I take a break first?
[Grunting]
See, there's this movie
tonight--
Hai!
Hai.
[Glass breaking]
You clean other mess now too.
Aw, man.
[Groaning]
Masterson, what are you doing
in the box?
> Gave myself a penalty, Coach.
What for?
Borrowing the merchandise.
What are you doing with that
hot water bottle?
It's for cramps.
Uh, female cramps.
Uh, well, uh, right.
Well, uh--
[Throat clearing]
Keep it up.
Very nice, good good.
I'm off to go over there.
Yes, sir.
[Phone ringing]
Oh, this better be good.
Hey, Jen, just wanted to make
sure you're still into seeing
Dragon Thunder.
Jonesy, I can't talk right
now.
But you always take calls at
work.
[Beeping]
What?
[Moaning]
Okay, one of you needs to
give me a tampon right now!
I don't have to do anything
right now.
I'm on a penalty.
Fine.
But don't come running to me the
next time Aunt Flo comes to
town.
No one says Aunt Flo anymore.
Maybe I do, Miss know it all.
Who are you calling a know it
all?
Guys, stop fighting!
She started it.
I don't care.
There are much worse things
going on here, like, I can't
stop eating chocolate.
But you hate chocolate.
I know.
[Gulping]
[Gasping]
Wait, you're eating chocolate
and you're grumpy.
Is it your time of the month?
[Groaning]
Mmhmm.
Mine too!
Do you realize what this means?
Our cycles have synced up.
No way!
That's the first sign of close
friendship.
We should celebrate!
Oh, so that's why you guys were
acting so weird.
Us?
You made pit bulls look
friendly.
I'm sorry, it must be my PMS.
I do get a little irritable.
At least we know what's been
bugging us.
[Buzzing]
Oh, let's go shopping.
Think we can all keep the
mood swings under control?
What mood swings?
What are you looking at?
Come back here!
I want to talk to you.
[Screaming]
[Whistling]
Well, it's official.
Nikki's gone mental.
What about Caitlin?
Please don't make me go back
there.
Guys, I did not wait a year
to see Dragon Thunder, just to
have the girls freak out on
opening day!
Let's just stay calm and
think this through.
But they've got the tickets!
They're always one step ahead
of us.
Women.
Wait, why don't we just buy
new tickets?
It's so simple, it just might
work!
Yo, Darth, the death star is
that way.
[Laughing]
There's no one in the box
office.
What?
Maybe we can wait in line
with the Jedi dude.
Actually this line is for
ticket holders only.
Besides, Dragon Thunder is
already sold out.
ALL: No!
Aw, that's a shame.
So let me get this straight.
The movie's sold out and the
girls are holding our tickets
hostage.
Things could not suck any
harder.
Okay, uh, let's not panic,
people.
Keep it together.
[Panting]
[Whimpering]
Dude, paper bag.
[Breathing]
We have to get our tickets!
Wait, I may have a plan.
Meet me at Super Terrific Happy
Sushi in five.
Cramp muscle relaxants for
me, Tranquil Thai Tea for
Caitlin.
A pound of chocolate for me.
And tampons for everyone.
Take one pill every four
hours.
Yeah, for normal cramps
maybe.
[Chewing]
[Gasping]
Okay, Caitlin, go buy.
But that cashier is so cute!
You do it, please?
No way!
I can't!
I know him.
Leon Treds jacket incident,
remember?
Well, somebody better pay
soon.
Fine, we'll settle it like
adults.
ALL: Rock, Paper, Scissors!
Darn it!
Off you go.
Oh here, ring this in.
[Sighing]
Hey!
Hi, um, I just need to buy
these.
Fancy farming?
I love nature.
Professional auto racer?
I'm getting my license this
year.
Senior health and wellness?
Uh, I...
Look young for my age.
Tampo--
Whoa, uh.
Right.
Okay, yes.
They're tampons.
I'm buying tampons!
Man, guys can be such squeamish
little babies.
I-I was just looking for the
price tag.
Oh, sorry.
Hiro-san, this is Wyatt and
Jude.
Guys, this is my sensei.
Wise elder, we need guidance.
You are having female
trouble.
He's good.
Defend yourself by instinct
alone.
[Thudding]
Ow!
Block my blows and find the
truth within the strike.
This is so cool.
Hi-ya!
[Thudding]
Not as cool, bro.
Today, you battle the dragon.
And her name is Caitlin.
HIRO: Hi-ya!
Ow.
Your prey is proud and
fierce.
To defeat the enemy you must
know her better than she know
herself.
Hi-ya!
Ow!
Dude, I didn't say anything.
Look within to find the power
source of your foe.
Hi-ya!
[Grunting]
HIRO:Look within, look
within, look within, look
within.
That's it!
Within their bags.
That's where the tickets are.
Come on, guys.
All right!
Yes.
No, that's not it!
Get back here!
Jonesy, you're fired!
Gentlemen, our enemy is
smart, strong, and quite
possibly insane.
If we want those tickets we must
be stealthy, and we must be
focused.
Flinch once and you're dead!
[Screaming]
Okay, starting now.
Flinch and you're dead!
Dude.
Time for operation ticket
thunder.
I finally know what you mean
by shopping therapy.
That mellow tea is so groovy.
How are the cramps, Jen?
Ah, so gone.
I'm hobally...tobally...fully
going to sleep well tonight.
How much further?
[Yawning]
Not long, you can do it.
This is the longest hallway
in the entire world.
Look at those cute sweaters!
BOTH: Ooh, eee!
It's time to get those
tickets.
Coms.
Check.
Sweet.
Which one of them has the
tickets?
Could be any one of them.
We'll have to check all
three.
Here we go boys.
I have the dragon in my
sights.
Oh, nice!
I've got hurricane in my
sights.
[Snoring]
Jonesy, you on Jen?
Like a dirty shirt.
Warriors of the fish, be storm
your targets!
Be storm?
Just get the bags!
Huh?
[Sighing]
Mission accomplished!
Gah, tampons!
Retreat, retreat!
[Screaming]
[Panting]
Hm?
So that's what this was all
about.
What?
I heard some girls get moody
when they get their--
[Throat clearing]
Nice purse, Jude.
[Screaming]
Hey!
Get him!
[Yawning]
Are we walking again?
[Screaming]
[Panting]
I can't believe you stole my
bag!
Chill, Miss Piggy.
I only ate one of your chocolate
bars.
Oh, that's it!
What is with you?
So immature, guys.
[Yawning]
Look, just give us the
tickets and we'll leave you
alone.
Wait, that's all you wanted?
Yeah.
Why didn't you just ask?
I gave them to Jude this
morning.
Oh yeah.
I forgot.
[Laughing]
Last one there buys the chewy
nuggets!
He had them all along?
I'm going to k*ll him!
[Screaming]
Jude!
Get back here!
Hey!
[Snoring]
[Murmuring]
That was awesome.
And they left it open for a
sequel.
Not that I'll be able to buy
a ticket since I'm unemployed
again.
Too bad all your new sword
fighting skills will go to
waste.
Hm, not necessarily.
Yo, Darth.
Would you like me to explain
the story for you?
I'll use small words so you'll
be sure to understand.
Silence!
I challenge you to a duel.
Food court, ten minutes.
My honour shall be avenged.
Well then, I accept.
♪
Jedi Knight, your butt is
mine!
You don't frighten me, sushi
boy!
[Grunting]
I know what you're thinking.
How did this novice get so good
with a sword?
[Grunting]
Has he been training in secret
or does the Force run strong in
this one?
No!
It is the way of the sushi!
Hai!
[Screaming]
[Laughing]
WYATT: Look at you.
Oh boy.
No, not again!
I'll be back!
And that, my friends, is the
way of the sushi.
You are still fired, Jonesy!
Aw!
♪