02x10 - Dennis Learns to Whistle

[bunniefuu]

-Look what Mom had put

away for us, Tommy.

She says give you one of them.

-Oh boy!

-So here's yours.

-Hey, you gave me

the little one.

-Gee wiz, Tommy.

You're not very grateful.

It's free!

-I'm grateful, all right.

But my mom always says when

you share with somebody,

you should always give

them the biggest piece.

-Yeah, your mom's right.

Because that's what my

mom always says, too.

So here.

Take them both.

-Both of them?

I don't want them both.

-OK, then you can share

one of them with me.

And don't forget what

your mother always says!

[theme music]

-And we've got to scope around

and watch this whole prairie.

And remember, if any of us

Indian scouts spots a wagon

train, we'll whistle

like a quail, see?

Like this.

[whistling]

-What are we playing, Buzzy?

-We're Indian scouts!

Apaches.

You guys want to be one?

-Sure!

-Now Dennis, when I whistle

like this-- [whistling]

--that's a signal for a pow-wow.

And that means everybody come in

right away because I need you.

-Yeah, he needs us!

-But whenever anybody

whistles, we always

got to whistle

back the same way.

Because that way, the enemy

thinks its just birds, see?

-I don't know how to whistle.

-Don't know how to whistle?

-Well, not yet.

-Criminy, Dennis.

How do you expect

to be one of us

Indians if you

can't even whistle?

-Well, all Indians

don't whistle.

-Well, we do.

Don't we, Apaches?

-Yeah!

-Look, Dennis.

Just go like this. [whistling]

-I don't feel like it right now.

-Well, I'll tell

you what you can be.

You can be a sheep herder.

They don't have to whistle.

All they have to

do is get scalped.

-I don't even want to

play your silly old game.

But I tell you one

thing, Buzzy Hampton.

When I get ready

to whistle, I'll

whistle better than you do.

-Come on, g*ng.

-[blowing]

[blowing]

-Heh heh heh.

Look, pucker your mouth.

Now blow.

[whistling]

-[blowing]

-[whistling]

-[blowing]

-See?

My dumb old mouth

won't whistle at all.

All it does is just blow.

-Well, you're a

little young, honey.

Lots of boys your age

can't whistle yet.

You'll learn.

-Sure you will.

It'll just come to

you all at once.

-If I don't learn any faster

than this, I'll be an old man.

I'll probably be shaving, even.

-Well, I don't think

you'll be that ancient.

Anyway you've got a few

days before your beard

gets in your way.

-Yes, and don't forget.

Buzzy Hampton's a lot

older than you are.

-I'm not going to wait

until I'm as old as Buzzy.

I'm going to learn

to whistle today

if it takes me the

rest of my life.

Anyhow, I'm not the only kid in

the world that can't whistle.

-[whistling "jingle bells"]

-Hey!

How do you do that?

You're not supposed to whistle.

You're not big enough.

How old are you?

Three?

-[whistling "jingle bells"]

Jeepers.

He's not even big

enough to talk yet.

But he can whistle.

-You always cut above

a butt, you see.

Well, like here, for instance.

You see, never cut too far back

on the bush, or you'll k*ll it.

-That's what I'd be afraid of.

-Oh, it could happen.

-For instance, if

I cut it down here,

it'll just k*ll it completely.

-Hi, Mr. Wilson!

-Oh!

Oh, for-- don't holler

in my ear, Dennis!

-I didn't holler,

did I, Mrs. Wilson?

-No, dear.

You just startled him.

-All, right, Dennis.

What do you want?

-Well, I've got a problem.

-Oh, so have I. Lots of them.

Why don't you go over in

the park with the other boys

and bother everybody instead

of just bothering me?

-That's what the

problem is, Mr. Wilson.

They won't let me

play Indian because I

don't know how to whistle.

So if you'll teach me how--

-Whistle?

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

-I'm just got to learn.

All I can do so

far is-- [blowing]

And-- [blowing]

Stuff like that.

-You'll learn, dear.

-I sure will if Mr.

Wilson teaches me.

Because you can do

anything, can't you?

-Well, anything I

feel like doing, yes.

But, well, I don't feel like

teaching you to whistle.

I'm-- I'm too busy.

-Well, George, why don't

you explain to the child?

You see, dear--

-No, no, Martha!

Don't you tell him anything.

Great Scott!

-Dad says all I have to do

is just pucker and blow.

But I can blow real fine.

But I don't know

how to pucker right.

-Dennis, you know, when I was a

boy trying to learn to whistle,

they told me to eat something

sour to make my mouth pucker.

-Won't you-- What?

It's what they told me.

-Sour?

Like what?

-Oh, like, um-- oh pickles, sour

grapes, or maybe sour lemons.

-Gee, that's swell, Mr. Wilson!

I'll try everything sour

and puckery I can find!

-Ha ha, good!

And take your time about it.

-And when I learn to

whistle real good,

I'll come over every night

and whistle you to sleep.

-Well, I hope he does.

You ought to be ashamed

of yourself, George,

telling him to eat

something sour.

-Well, she started it!

He opened up an

old wound that I've

been trying to forget for years.

In fact, I had forgotten

about it until he came over.

-I think it's absolutely silly.

-Silly?

Well, how do you

think I feel about it?

Here I am, a grown

man who can't whistle.

-Oh, so what if

you can't George?

It isn't important.

-Children whistle!

Mailmen whistle!

Even parakeets whistle!

But not George Wilson.

[whistling]

It's just humiliating.

-Oh, George.

-As a child, I couldn't whistle

for my dog like the other boys.

At the movies, when everybody

whistled and stamped their feet

at William S. Hart, I just

sat there like a big lump.

Do you know what they called

me all through the third grade?

A dumbbell.

-Well, children.

-Duh.

I can still hear them.

Georgie is a dumbbell!

Georgie is a dumbbell!

-But darling, that

was years ago.

So don't hide it

like a guilty secret.

-Well--

-Admit it, chuckle

over it, and forget it.

-What?

And be the laughingstock

of the whole town?

Never.

Now, I don't want to hear any

more about whistling, Martha.

Never.

I've got work to do.

-[whistling]

-Dah.

I'm going in the house

and lie down for a while.

[door closing]

-Mom, what have we

got that's puckery?

Real puckery?

-Puckery?

Sure.

Mr. Wilson says

if I eat something

sour to pucker my mouth with,

it'll help me learn to whistle.

-Oh, I think Mr.

Wilson was joking.

-No, honest!

That's how he learned.

-Well, I have some

pickles in there.

They're pretty sour.

-Oh, I tried those things.

They're no good for

whistling at all.

I wish you wouldn't

buy that kind anymore.

-Oh, I won't.

If they're not good

whistling pickles,

I can get my money back besides.

What are you doing?

-A lemon.

[groan]

Boy, is this sour.

[blowing]

Sure is hard to get the

right kind of pucker.

-I don't think that's

going to help much.

But you'll learn.

You'll be a fine

whistler someday.

-Where'd you get

the calender, Mom?

-From Mr. Quigley's

grocery store.

That's a famous old picture

by a very famous artist.

-I know.

Tommy's folks have one and

Tommy told me the name of it.

"Whistler's Mother."

-That's right.

-I wonder how old her little boy

was when he learned to listen.

-Dennis, that particular

Whistler was a painter.

-If I can just find the

right kind of something sour,

I-- Hey, I know where to go!

Sure, he'll have everything!

Bye, Mom!

-Goodbye, dear.

-You're looking splendid

today, Mrs. Elkins.

Simply splendid.

-Well, thank you.

I must say, you're feeling good.

-Never felt better.

I just read this

new book, and it

gave me a whole new viewpoint.

Yes, sir.

It's great to be alive.

It was, at least.

-Too sweet.

-Dennis, what are you doing?

-Oh, hi, Mr. Quigley.

I want to buy something

soon as I find it.

I've got the money, all right.

-There you are, Mrs. Elkins.

Always a pleasure to serve you.

Good day.

-Good day.

-Dennis, leave my fruit alone.

What are you trying

to do, ruin me?

-Oh no, Mr. Quigley.

I just sampling for sour stuff.

I've got the money, all right.

-Sampling for sour stuff?

-Yeah, I'm trying

to learn to whistle.

-Whistle?

I've got to find something sour

to pucker my mouth up with.

But so far, I haven't

found the right thing.

-It isn't because

you haven't tried.

-There's little bitty

green strawberries

that you to keep in

the bottom of the box.

They're pretty sour, all right.

-Yes, yes, Dennis.

-But I need something

even puckerier than that.

-If you want something sour,

I've got just the thing.

These little cherries

were picked too green.

They're never going to ripen up.

Eat them, if you

want something sour.

-Gee!

Wow, Mr. Quigley!

-No, no!

Not here.

Too messy.

Take them home and eat them, OK?

-Gee!

Swell, Mr. Quigley!

-I'll charge it to

your father's account.

All of it.

Dennis!

Now, Quigley, it's all over.

You feel fine.

Great.

Never felt better.

[laughing]

Well.

[laughing]

[footsteps]

-Oh, hello, Quigley.

Out of tea.

-Well, well, George.

How are you?

It's nice to see you.

Say, you're looking wonderful.

-Oh?

I've got a cramp in my shoulder.

I've been hunched in a

doorway for minutes waiting

for Dennis to get out of here.

-Dennis Mitchell?

Oh, you shouldn't

let him worry you.

-Well, what's happened to you?

The last time I was in here, you

are carrying him out that door

by the seat of his pants.

-Oh, that sort of ill

temper is all behind me.

You know, I have been

reading a book that has just

changed my whole

outlook on life.

I tell you, that book

has done wonders for me.

-Huh?

Don't hide your

frustrations, it says.

Drag them out, talk about

them, and you get rid of them,

it says.

-Well, it sounds like a sort

of do-it-yourself psychiatry.

-Exactly.

And it works.

I never felt better in my life.

-Hm., Well, I've got

problems, of course.

But there's one

particular thing that's

plagued me since childhood.

Oh, I haven't talked about it

because, well, it's just silly.

People would laugh at me.

-George, believe me.

No one's going to laugh

at your frustrations.

How can we laugh at

other people's problems

when we all have

problems of our own?

-Well, look at me, Quigley.

I am moderately successful.

I'm retired I'm -- well,

I'm over years old.

-Oh, at least, yes.

-And I have never learned

to do one simple thing

that most children learn in the

first grade-- how to whistle.

I can't whistle a note.

-Whistle?

Oh, you're kidding.

-Nope.

I can't whistle

at all. [blowing]

-You mean you can't--

[laughing] A man your age,

and you can't even--

[laughing] Oh, that is rich!

-Oh!

-I never heard

anything so ridiculous.

Imagine that--

-I knew I shouldn't trust

a secret to a jackass!

[laughter]

-It's not funny, Mr. Quigley!

Here, I don't like

your old cherries!

Mr. Wilson, wait for me!

Hey, I didn't know you couldn't

whistle either, Mr. Wilson.

I thought everybody

in the world could

whistle when they got

as old as you are.

-Well, now you know.

-I'm sure sorry for you.

Because I know how you feel.

Believe me.

Make you feel kind of

stupid, doesn't it?

I know.

Because I feel silly not

being able to whistle.

And I'm just a kid.

-Yes, yes.

-And if I was as big

adult as you are,

I'd really feel stupid.

-All right, Dennis.

Never mind!

-I sure know how you feel.

Oh, hi, Mr. Corrigan!

-Hi there, Dennis!

Good afternoon, Mr.Wilson.

-Oh.

-What?

What's the matter with him?

-He doesn't feel good.

Because he's over years

old and he doesn't know

how to whistle.

-[laughter]

-Dennis!

Never mind!

For Heaven's sakes!

-Did you learn yet, Dennis?

Can you whistle?

-Well, not quite, Tommy.

[blowing]

I can almost whistle.

And me and Mr.

Wilson are going to--

-Ha!

Everybody can whistle

but you, Dennis!

-Ha yourself, Buzzy!

Everybody can not

whistle but me!

Tell them, Mr. Wilson!

-Oh, I-- I will not.

Confound this gate.

-(SINGING): Dennis

is a dumbbell!

Dennis is a dumbbell!

-(SINGING): Dennis

is a dumbbell!

-(SINGING): Dennis

is a dumbbell!

-I am not!

-He's no more of a

dumbbell then you are,

you little-- all right,

you get out of here!

All of you out of my yard!

Go on!

Go someplace else!

You too!

Out!

Out!

Go on!

Um, let's you and

I go in the house

and see if we can

find some cookies.

What's so great about

whistling, anyway?

If you learn, OK.

If you don't, OK.

Who cares?

-Sure.

Who cares?

-So let's just forget it, now.

Huh?

I got some things here

I want to show you.

We won't even mention the

word "whistle," right?

-Right.

-Look at this book

I just got-- brand

new addition of

"Birds of the World."

Every bird you can

think of is in here.

-Boy, they sure are pretty!

-Ah, these are

tropical birds, Dennis.

Talking birds, most of them.

There's a parrot.

-I know parrots.

-A cockatoo, and this

one's a myna bird.

-What's this one, Mr. Wilson?

Does he talk too?

-No, no, Dennis.

That's a Peruvian Bushbird.

He has a high shrill whistle.

And when he whistle--

-He's not as big as my

first, and he can whistle.

-He's not even as big

as Quigley's nose,

and I'll bet he can whistle

better than Quigley.

D'oh.

That's enough of birds, huh?

I tell you what, Dennis.

Let's take a look at

my stamp collection.

-OK!

Boy, I'll bet this

is the swellest stamp

collection in the whole world!

-Ha ha ha.

Well, it's a pretty

good one, all right.

You see, these are all

commemorative stamps, Dennis.

Now, here's the

th anniversary

of the steam engine.

-I'm going to be a captain

on a steamboat someday.

-Oh!

Well, I'll bet you'd

be a darn good one.

Now, this Alaska stamp here--

-Hey, here's that lady in

the rocking chair again!

-Oh yes, that's

"Quigley's Mother"--

uh, "Whistler's Mother."

Oh, Dennis.

Great Scott, what is

the matter with us?

You know, we're just

being ridiculous.

I tell you what.

Let's watch a little television.

-Oh boy, the cartoons are on.

They're real funny!

-Heh heh heh. good!

Let's have ourselves

a few laughs.

Sit here and laugh it up while--

TV (OFFSCREEN):

And this has been

"Pop Johnson's Cartoon Party,"

brought to you by the makers

of Johnson's Party Pop,

the pop you kids all love.

And now, let's hear our theme

song that reminds us of pop.

Johnson's Party Pop, everybody!

-[whistling]

-Isn't that great?

And now remember,

I want all you good

whistlers to join

us here tomorrow

for another great

"Johnson's Party Pop Party."

There will be free gifts

and prizes for everybody.

So don't--

-I don't want to watch anymore.

I better go home, I guess.

-[sigh]

I-- I guess so.

-Think I'll go back to

Mr. Quigley's and get

those sour old cherries.

I just got to learn

to whistle some way.

-[blowing]

Oh--

-I sure hope I know how

to whistle tomorrow.

Gee wiz!

-I'm sure will, son.

-Good night, dear.

-Night, son.

-Hey, I meant to tell you

what happened a while ago.

I was having a banana to

kind of rest my mouth.

And look what came loose!

-A tooth!

-I've been expecting that one.

-Oh, you take it right up

and put it under your pillow.

Maybe the good fairy will

leave you some money for it.

-OK.

But you know what I wish the

good fairy would do instead?

-Teach you to whistle.

A dime.

Boy, the good old fairy

didn't forget after all.

Sure is a lucky way

to start the morning.

Maybe this is going to

be my day to whistle.

[whistling]

[whistling]

Hey, mom!

[whistling]

Dad!

Listen!

[whistling]

And you want to hear this

one again? [whistling]

-Ha ha ha ha!

Can you do this one? [whistling]

-[whistling]

-[laughter] That's wonderful!

I told you you'd

be a fine whistler.

It's that lost

tooth that did you.

-Oh no!

Losing my tooth didn't

teach me how to whistle.

It's these sour

cherries that did it.

-It is?

-Sure!

They puckered up my

mouth just right,

just like Mr. Wilson

said they would.

-Mighty smart man, Mr. Wilson.

-He sure is!

-I'm going to go

over there right now

and teach him how to whistle!

-Hm.

Oh, isn't it pleasant out

here in the mornings, Martha?

-Yes, George.

It's so calm and peaceful.

-Just like the country--

-[whistling]

-So that's going to start again.

-Hi, Mr. Wilson!

It's me, Dennis! [whistling]

-Oh!

-Oh!

You too now, huh?

-And it's all because

of you, Mr Wilson!

-Me?

-It's these sour

cherries that did it.

They puckered up my

mouth just right,

just like you said they would.

And all at once, I can whistle!

-Martha, I-- I thought something

like that just might work.

-Oh George, you

just told him that.

-It sure works, all right.

-Well, you can see how it

could have a scientific basis.

To whistle, you have

to pucker your mouth,

and something sour

aids puckering.

-Try these things, Mr. Wilson.

They're the puckeriest

things you ever tasted!

-Heh heh heh.

You see, Martha?

I just happen to have

an invented mind.

And it struck me-- Oh!

Oh, I bit down on a pit.

Oh dear.

There goes a filling.

I lost a filling.

-Oh dear!

-Gee, I'm sorry it

hurts, Mr. Wilson.

-Well, it isn't the tooth

that hurts so much, Dennis.

It's the $ for a new filling.

-But Mr. Wilson, I--

-Now, never mind, Dennis.

-But now that you've

tried the cherries,

maybe if you just

try like I did.

You look pretty puckery.

-Oh, all right.

But look, all I can do

is blow. [whistling]

-You did it, Mr. Wilson!

You did it!

Whistle again!

-[whistling]

-That was good, George!

-Ho ho!

-[whistling]

-[whistling]

[laughter]

Say, this is fun, Dennis!

Let's try a tune together!

-OK!

And I know just the tune.

-That's swell, Dennis.

Buzzy said that when

you learn to whistle,

you could be Apache scout, too.

So come on!

-No thanks, Tommy.

You tell Buzzy I

haven't got time

for that kind of

silly stuff today.

-Silly stuff?

-Me and Mr. Wilson have got

some important practicing to do.

You know the song I mean?

-Oh ho ho, I certainly do!

[WHISTLING "POP GOES THE

WEASEL"]

-[WHISTLING "POP GOES THE

-Hello, Martha!

[theme music]