01x16 - Dennis and the Bike

[bunniefuu]

-Where's the mop?

Where's the mop?

-In the broom closet.

Why?

-Because when that bathtub
overflows it really overflows.

[music]

-Dennis!

Hey Dennis!

Come on out, Dennis!

-I can't come out now, Tommy.

I'm out in the patio
flying my kite.

-But Mr. Wilson just went
in to take his exercises.

-Is he gonna ride his bike?

-He sure is.

-Well, I'll be right out if
he's gonna ride his bike.

-Dennis, how many times
have I told you not--

[doorbell rings]

-Mrs. Mitchell?

-Yes?
-Here's your dry cleaning.

-Oh, fine.

You're new, aren't you?

-Yes, ma'am.

That'll be $ . .

-All righty, I'll get my purse.

Would you hold this
for me, please?

-Well, it takes all kinds.

-Hello.

Dennis left his scooter
in the driveway again.

-Afternoon, I'm the
new laundry man.

-Oh.

Wrapping something?

-Oh, you're wife just went
upstairs to get her purse.

I'm holding her kite for her.

-Her kite?

-She's really got it up there.

-Here you are.

$ . .

-Thank you.

Your husband's
holding your kite.

-Thank you.
-Bye.

-Honey, what in the
world are you doing?

-I'm not doing anything.

Dennis tied his kite to
the one antique we own.

If I hadn't rescued
it just in time,

we'd have had an
end table in orbit.

-Dennis left his scooter
in the driveway again.

I ran over it.

-Oh, honey.

He'll be sick about it.

Can it be fixed?

-I'm afraid not.

It's smashed to smithereens.

-Well, I don't think we should
buy him a new one, do you?

-Absolutely not.

He's got to learn to
take care of his things.

-I suppose you're right.

-I'm going to
stand firm on this.

No matter how much
Dennis pleads,

we're not buying
him another one.

-Boy, look at him go, Charlie.

-Yeah.

If you had two
wheels, Mr. Wilson,

I bet you'd be going
miles an hour.

-Boys, why don't you
go play somewhere else?

-You want me to ride
it for you for a while?

-No, I don't.

-Can I ever ride
on the handle bars?

-Dennis, this is an
exercise bicycle.

-You're trying to get rid of
your bay window, aren't you?

-All right boys, run along.

-Jeepers, when do
I get to ride it?

-Your time is between midnight
and : in the morning.

All right, now run.

Scoot.
Go on.

-Bye, Mr. Wilson.

-Sure, I can ride it.

Want me to ride it up and down
the block a couple of times

to show ya?

-I keep telling you,
you're too little.

-How about once
around the block?

-Sorry, shrimp.

-How about if I ride it up
and down the sidewalk for ya?

-Nope.

-How about if we just sit on it?

-No, but I'll tell you what.

If you deliver the Wilson's
paper and your paper,

I'll let you honk my horn.

-That's a crummy deal.

-No, it isn't.

I'll do it, cause
then maybe he'll

let me ride it
tomorrow, huh Herb?

-We'll see.

Go ahead and honk it.

[honk]

-Boy, I bet people really
get out of your way

when you honk that, huh, Herb?

[honk]

-That's enough.

Take the papers and
go deliver them.

-OK, see you tomorrow, Herb.

-Boy, that sure is a swell bike.

-The new kid's is better.

It has siren.

We ought to get to know him.

-I'm gonna ask my dad to
get me a bike of my own.

And I bet you he'll
get me one, too.

Just like he got me that
scooter when I wanted it.

Hey, Mr. Wilson!

Mr. Wilson!

-Oh, what does he want now?

-Here's your paper, Mr. Wilson!

-Oh, good.

-Here's your paper, Mr. Wilson!

-Why don't you just throw it?

-OK.
Watch.

Right on the porch.

Excuse me, Mr. Wilson.

Did I hurt your stomach?

-Yes, you did.

-I was trying to hit your porch.

-Well, you just
stay away from me

or I'll speak to your father.

-Boy.

I better talk to my dad
about that bike in a hurry.

See ya, Tommy.

-Have you heard
the paper come yet?

-No, I haven't.

Maybe he threw it in the bushes.

-Oh, I'll go take a look.

-Excuse me, Dad.

Here's your paper, and boy
do I want to talk to you.

-And I want to talk
to you, young man.

You know where you left
your scooter again?

-Uh-oh.

-That's right.

The driveway, and I
didn't see it this time

and ran over it and broke it.

-Gee, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to leave it there.

-Oh, it's too late to be sorry.

It's broken.

-But you know what, Dad?

You don't have to
get me a new one.

-We have no intention of getting
you a new scooter, Dennis.

-That's good, cause
what I need is a bike

that's a two-wheeler and a
horn that you can squeeze

when you want to
honk at somebody.

-Well, we're not
getting you one, Dennis.

-It's time you learn to
take care of the things

you do have, young man.

-I'd take swell care
of a two-wheeler.

-No, Dennis.

-Well, I'd even
wash it everyday.

-No, Dennis.

-And I wouldn't leave it
in the driveway, either.

-No, Dennis.

-I guess you're worried
about me riding it

in the street, huh Mom?

Well, I wouldn't ride
it in the street.

-No, Dennis.

-And any kind of an
orphan or a poor kid who'd

ask me for a ride,
I'd give it to them.

-No, Dennis.

-Jeepers, I just
gotta have a bike.

-Just like you had
to have a scooter.

Well, we're not getting
you one, Dennis.

-And that's final.

-But jeepers, I need it.

-You don't need a bike.

-Sure I do.

I need it so I can get
rid of my bay window.

-I'm sorry young man.

It just won't work.

Now you run along and play.

-My dad said maybe
for my birthday.

-Me and my dad decided
we'd just wait awhile too.

-Hey, look.

-Hello, Dennis.

-Hi, Margaret.

-Gee, where'd you get it?

-My uncle gave it to me.

-Can I ride it?

-No, you can't.

But you can.

-Well, get off.

-You can if you'll play
house with me after.

-Heck no.

-OK for you, Dennis Mitchell.

-Margaret rides a girl hat!

-You know, I wouldn't have
played house with her, either.

-You know what my
dad's gonna say

when hears dumb old
Margaret got a bike?

He's gonna say, "Come on Dennis,
I'm gonna buy you one too.

Hey Dad, guess what!

-Dennis, don't shout.

-Boy, are you gonna be mad
when I tell you something.

You're gonna be so mad, steam'll
probably come out of your ears,

and you'll say, "Come on Dennis,
we got some shopping to do."

-Well, what is it?

-Margaret Wade
got a two-wheeler.

-She did, huh?

Well, why should I be mad?

-Gee whiz, Dad, you don't want
a dumb girl getting ahead of me,

do you?

-Dennis, I'm not going
to buy you a bike.

-How about if I get one myself?

Can I keep it?

-Well, in that
unlikely event, yes.

-I'll be back in a
little while, Dad.

And I'll give you a
ride on the handle bars.

-But honey, it's
almost dinner time.

-Oh, he'll be here.

He's probably out
collecting bottles.

That's what he usually does
when he wants some money.

-I don't know whether I
like the idea of Dennis

trying to get a bike by himself.

-I'm proud of him.

He's showing initiative.

Thinking for himself, learning
the value of a dollar.

These are the things
that build character.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): I'm home.

Well, I got myself a bike.

-Where in the world
did you get that?

-It used to belong
to Margaret Wade.

-What do you mean, used to?

-Me and her got engaged.

-What?

-Sure.

So she gave it to me as
an engagement present.

I told her that's the
only way I'd get engaged.

-Holy baloney,
now he's a gigolo.

-Dennis, you take
that right back over

to Margaret's house
this very minute.

-Why?

-Well Dennis, men
don't demand a present

when they get
engaged to a woman.

-She's not a woman.

She's just dumb old Margaret.

-Well, you take it
right back anyway.

-And you're not engaged.

-Gee, the Wades will
be disappointed.

She's just going
in to tell them.

[phone rings]

-Hello?

Oh yes, Mr. Wade.

We're very sorry about that.

I'm sending him back
with it right away.

Well, I-- I don't blame
you for being angry.

-Gee, Dad, if he's mad,
I'd better talk to him.

-Good boy.

-Mr. Wade, Dennis would
like to speak with you.

-Say, Mr. Wade, Margaret
asked me to come to dinner.

Am I still supposed to come?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

We must have got disconnected.

-Dennis, it's
o'clock in the morning.

What are you doing here?

-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson,
did you forget?

You say my time to ride
was before o'clock

in the morning.

-How long have you been here?

I don't know, but I've
put fie miles on it.

-Dennis, that's enough.

Mrs. Wilson and I are
trying to get some sleep.

You woke us up.

Excuse me, Mr. Wilson.

I gotta go home anyway .

I gotta talk to Mom and
Dad about something.

-Morning, Dad.

Say, I've been thinking.

If I had a bike, I could run
errands for you all the time.

Did you ever think of that?

[snoring]

-Morning, Mom.

You know how you're
always wanting something

at the market?

Well, if I had a
bike, I could go--

-Hey honey, wake up.
-What?

What'd you say?

-I think we ought to
get Dennis that bike.

-You do?

-Do what?

-Think we ought to
get Dennis that bike?

-What made you change your mind?

-Cause Dennis is such
a swell little kid.

-Dennis!

-Dennis, what in the world
are you doing up at this hour?

-I couldn't sleep.

I was thinking about
a bike so much.

-We're not going to get
you the bike Dennis.

You might as well stop
thinking about it.

Now go on back to bed.

-And I don't want you bringing
up the subject ever again.

-OK.

Hey, as long as we're all up,why
don't we go downstairs and have

a baloney sandwich
with some root beer?

-Dennis!

-And I particularly don't want
him riding it at o'clock

in the morning.

-I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.

-Well, when he came
home and woke us up,

we gave him a good talking to.

I don't think we'll hear
about that bike anymore.

-I don't know.

Dennis doesn't
give up so easily.

-Well, he didn't even
mention it at breakfast.

Just gobbled down his
food and rushed off

to that boy's house
to play marbles.

-What in the world is that?
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hi.

Well, I got myself a bike.

And I didn't have to
get engaged,either.

-Nothing more about bikes, eh?

-Where'd you get that bike?

-It used to belong
to the new kid.

-Why doesn't it
belong to him now?

-Cause I won it from
him playing marbles.

-Take it right back.

-Dennis, when we told you that
you could keep a bike if you

got one, we didn't mean
you could take it away

from another child.

-OK, I'll take it back.

Hey Mr. Wilson, if you're not
doing anything this afternoon,

would you like to play
a game of marbles?

-No I wouldn't.

-And we don't want you taking
a bike away from Mr. Wilson.

-Where did you mean
I could get one?

-From a store.

-A swell chance I'd
have doing that.

I haven't got any money.

-Poor Dennis.

-I bet we don't hear anything
more about the bike from him.

-I'm home!

-In here, son.

[door slams]

-Well, I'm gonna get
a bike from a store.

-How are you going to do
that, and what are you

do with this big bowl of beans?

-What did I just
hear you say, Dennis?

-I'm gonna get a bike from
Huggins Hardware Store,

and it's free.

-What now?

-Who knows?

-There's having
this swell contest

where you guess the number
of beans in the fish bowl.

Old Tommy's just
going to make a guess,

but I'm going to count them.

-Dennis, just take the bowl
back to the store, will you?

-It's Joey's.

Just so I could use it,
he put all his goldfish

in the bathtub.

-Where did you get the beans?

-First I got all
that Joey's mom had,

and then I got all
that Mrs. Wilson had,

and now I'm going to
get the rest from us.

And I've got to hurry, cause
that contest ends at o'clock.

-Well, it's o'clock now.

You'll never get
them counted by : .

-Sure I will.

I got a special system.

-He'll never do it.

-Doesn't stand a
chance, but you should

have to admire his persistence.

-I've never seen him
want anything so badly.

-A first bike is a
big thing to a boy.

I remember when my dad gave
me my first one at Christmas.

It was red.

-Bye Mom,Bye Dad,
thanks for the beans.

-Goodbye son.
Good luck.

-Good luck, son.

-Your father gave you yours?

-Yeah.

All we're giving
Dennis is beans.

-Well, we had good
reason for telling

Dennis we wouldn't
buy him a new one.

-That's right.

He doesn't take
care of his things.

-What time is it?

-Five after : .

He'll never make it.

-I-- I suppose if a person
wanted to, we could pick up one

of those bowls at the & .

-Yeah.

On the way back, a
person could pick up

the bean at a grocery store.

If he wanted to.

-Henry, let's stop pussyfooting.

This person wants to.

-So does this one.

We didn't say anything about
not helping him win one.

-Let's hurry.

-We'll have to, to count
all those beans by : .

-Martha, that boy
doesn't have a chance.

-It does seem unlikely
that he could win.

He has so many beans to count.

I gave him two pounds.

-You know how I do it?

-How, George?

-Scientifically.

I'd figure out the number
of beans in a cubic inch

and the number of cubic inches
in a and / gallon bowl,

and just multiply
the two together.

-Do it for him, dear.

Figure it out, and then
put in a guess in his name.

-Yes, it might be an
interesting mental exercise,

but well, I don't know.

-You know, if he had
a bicycle of his own,

he wouldn't be wanting to
ride yours all the time.

-Great Scott, where's
my slide rule?

Figure it out in a
fraction of a bean.

- , , , .

- , .

-Honey, count by twos.
-Hmm?

-Count by twos.

It'll go faster.

-Oh.

Where was I?

-I don't know.

-Henry, now I'll have
to start all over again.

How many have we counted?

- , .

-Think we'll finish on time?

-Well, we'll just about make it.

It's lucky we're doing this or
Dennis wouldn't stand a chance.

, , , , , .

-Beans for sale!

Get your beans!

There are beans here!

Penny a hundred, but you
gotta count them yourself!

-I'll take a nickel's worth.

-OK.

Count careful, cause
they're valuable.

-How many have you sold?

-$ . worth, how many is that?

- , .

-You wanna buy some?

-No thanks.

-Beans for sale!

Get your beans!

There are beans here!

- , .

Oh, fiddle faddle.

-How you coming, dear?

-Well, figuring out the
number of cubic inches

in the fish bowl
was child's play.

Two and / gallon equals
. cubic inches.

-Good, then you're
almost through.

-Well, no.

The problem seems
to be finding out

the number of beans
in each cubic inch.

-Well, that should be easy.

You made that little
cardboard box.

Isn't that a cubic inch?

-Well, yes.

But you see, every time
I fill it and count it,

I get a different number.

There's a great variation
in the size of beans.

-Better hurry, dear.

It's after : .

-I'm hurrying as fast as I can.

One, two, three, four.

- , .

-How many is that?

- , .
Oh, honey.

It's : already.

We've been at this
for two hours.

I don't think we're
going to make it.

-Oh Henry.

-Oh honey, look at that.

If you think we
can count that many

and still get to the
hardware store on time.

-No, I guess we can't.

Oh, poor Dennis.

He never had a chance.

-Well, how are the beans going?

-I've sold $ . .

How many have I sold?

- , .

-Hey.

I'm not gonna pay
a penny for those.

There's only beans there.

-OK, you can have them for free.

Say mister, could you tell
me what time it is, please?

-It's minutes to : .

-Gee, that's swell.

I just got time
for some root beer.

-Poor little guy, he'll come
dragging in here any minute

now.

-I'm going to make some
chocolate pudding for dessert.

He likes that.

-Hello, Mitchells.

-Hello, Mr. Wilson.

-Heard any more about
the bean contest?

-No, not yet.

-Well, it's : .

I thought he might be here.

-Not yet, poor little guy.

-You know, I tried to work it
out for him scientifically,

but I'm afraid I
didn't have much luck.

-Well, that was
very nice of you.

-Well, Dennis is a nice boy.

-We tried counting a
bowl of beans ourselves,

but we ran out of time.

-We're not going to
tell him we even tried,

so don't say anything.

-Honey, you know,
I think we ought

to buy him a bike for
his next birthday.

-Oh, Henry, I'm so glad
you said that, because

-I'm home!

-Son, you won the bike!

How did you do it?

-I don't believe it.

-No.

I didn't win.

Tommy won this good old bike.

And you know how he did it?

He just guessed the
number of beans.

-Oh for goodness sake.

-Yeah.

He made me so mad, I popped
him one on top of the head.

-Dennis!

-It didn't hurt him Mom.

He had his football helmet on.

-Well Dennis, if
Tommy won the bike,

what are you doing with it?

-I get to use it while
I teach him how to ride.

-Well, where's Tommy?

-He's over at Mr. Wilson's.

-At my house?

Well, what's he
doing over there?

-He's on your exercise
bike learning how to pedal.

-Good boy.

-He's out in front watching
Tommy and the other boys

ride bikes.

-Poor Dennis.

His birthday isn't
for six months

and he can get one of his own.

-Now Tommy's stopped
to talk to him.

-Maybe Dennis is
trying to get a ride.

-No.

Dennis is heading
back toward the house.

-Well, we're probably about
to get another sales pitch.

Just remember our agreement.

No bike until his birthday.

-Right.
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): I'm home.

-Hi.
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hi.

Let's all do something.

-What would you like to do?

-Let's sing a song.

-What song would
you like to sing?

-Happy birthday to me.

-Now wait a minute, Dennis.

Your birthday isn't
for another six months.

-Well it used to be six months.

Now I'm gonna have
it next Wednesday.

-What do you mean?

-I'm getting a new
on next Wednesday.

-Dennis, that's impossible.

-No, it isn't.

Tommy was so glad I
taught him how to ride,

we're trading birthdays.

-What color was the bike
your father gave you, dear?

-Red.

Come on, son.

We're going shopping
for a two-wheeler.

-Oh, boy!