(Giggling)
I've gotta go, babe.
Meet me
at : at Grind Me.
Cool.
I'll miss you!
Miss you more!
(Giggling)
(Happy sighing)
(Gasping)
Oh my gosh, Nikki.
That was really insensitive
of me.
I forgot you and Jonesy
just broke up.
Don't sweat it.
It's kind of a relief.
Maybe someday when
one of us is more mature
we can give it
another shot.
But for now, I definitely think
we're better off as friends.
So, I can talk
about Dustin?
Knock yourself out.
Okay.
Isn't Dustin dreamy?
I know he made my knees
go weak.
(Giggling)
Shut up, Jonesy!
Ow!
(Giggling)
Whoa!
I better get going!
There's a line-up
at Vegan Island.
See ya tonight?
Sure!
(Giggling)
You and Star look like
you're getting tight.
She is a
betty-lim-lovely.
(Chuckling)
(Sighing)
I think Dustin
might be the one.
Uh, you said the same thing
about the last time.
Oh, no.
Wade definitely
wasn't the one.
He had sneaky B.O.
He tried to cover it up
with body spray,
but I could still
smell it.
Dustin, though.
(Sighing)
He's special.
I'm surprised
you're into a guy
who has one eye
way lower than the other.
(Gasping)
He does not!
Oh, he does.
Does not!
DUSTIN:
Hey!
(Chuckling)
Forgot my lemon squeeze.
ALL:
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I rest my case.
♪ Life begins after school ♪
♪ That's when we bend
all the rules ♪
♪ Time to hang
with all my friends ♪
♪ We like to be together ♪
♪ In a place where we belong ♪
♪ I'm ♪
♪ Starting to find my way ♪
♪ Got a new job ♪
♪ Going to start
at the mall today ♪
♪ Thank God I'm on my own
for the first time ♪
♪ I'm , life is sweet ♪
♪ When you're growing up
so fast ♪
♪ You got to make
the good times last ♪
♪ I'm , I'm ♪
♪ Got to make
the good times last ♪
Well, I still like him,
even if he does have
one weird eye.
It's a free country.
Yes! It's all set.
What?
Only the best job
I've ever had!
"Cyber Love-
Meet you on the internet"?
People send me
a picture
and a description
of their interests,
and I set them up
on dates-
for a small fee,
of course.
Oh, this should be
interesting.
You haven't even heard
the best part yet.
I'm the one
who screens the pictures!
Yeah?
So I can weed out
the hot chicks
and set them up
with yours truly?
You wouldn't!
Why not?
It's like my own
private pool
of hotties
to choose from,
and the beauty part
is I'll already know
what the girls are into
because it's right
on their applications.
I can't believe
I ever dated you. Ugh!
Send in an application.
Maybe I'll date you again.
What happens
to all the guys?
What guys?
The guys who apply
to your service?
I delete them.
Have you no shame?
No shame, no gain.
I don't know, dude.
Yeah, what happens
if you get caught?
Won't you be embarrassed?
Uh, Jonesy's
missing that gene.
Oh, I get embarrassed.
What's the most
embarrassing thing
that's ever happened
to you?
Oh, no. Some things
are better left unsaid.
Oh, come on.
You can tell us.
We were probably
there anyway.
Yeah! Best friends
always tell each other
stuff like that.
(Gasping)
Let's all tell each other!
I promise, none of you
can beat my story.
This is
strictly between us?
(Squealing)
Yes, yes!
Who goes first?
Okay.
I guess it would be
the time I ran full-speed
into a stop sign
in front of the school.
(Thudding)
Boring.
I still have the scar!
Don't worry.
You only notice it
if you look at your head.
Ow!
Well, I already know
what Wyatt's is.
If you don't tell them,
I will.
(Groaning)
Okay, okay.
I built a shrine in my bedroom
to Serena.
No way.
Du-ude.
(Giggling)
Aww.
You took it down
after she fired you
and broke up with you,
though, right?
All right, I'm going to!
I've been busy!
Ha!
(Sighing) Pathetic.
At least yours
is a private horror.
I once sat on a chocolate bar
without knowing it--
(All gasping)
--in white pants!
(Laughing)
(All laughing)
I walked around
for two hours like that
before I realized
what happened.
Wow, you are so brave
showing your face
around here after that.
At least you didn't puke
in your girlfriend's mouth.
On your first kiss.
Oh, that is up there.
Just don't mention it
in front of her.
Remembering it
makes her gag.
Duly noted.
Boy!
You guys are losers!
Okay, Jonesy.
So what was your
most embarrassing moment?
Didn't I already
tell you guys?
ALL:
No.
All right!
This one time
in grade seven,
I needed a haircut
but my barber was on vacation.
Yeah?
So I went to my mom's salon.
What's so embarrassing
about that?
Well, the stylist said
that I had great hair.
And the one thing that would
make it better would be...
..a body wave.
(Laughing)
(All laughing)
You mean a perm!
How could you let her
give you a perm, dude?
The stylist was hot,
and it wasn't a perm.
It was a "body wave".
It was totally a perm.
(All laughing)
Dude-- heh--
I feel so much better
about the puking thing now.
(Giggling)
Guys, we shouldn't
laugh at him.
That must've been hard
to admit.
Hey, you haven't told us
your most embarrassing
moment yet.
Okay, but this does not
leave the group.
Swear?
You remember Trish,
right?
NIKKI:
Oh, yeah.
We went to the beach
one day last year.
I was wearing this really cute
retro-style bikini.
I got it on sale at
Bikini Republic for % off.
JEN:
Caitlin, focus.
Oh. Ooh, okay.
So, I went to
the little girls' hut
and when I came back out,
I had toilet paper hanging out
of my bikini bottom!
Oh!
JUDE:
Whoa!
(Chuckling)
Oh, that's bad.
Trisha let me walk around
with a tissue tail all day
and she filmed it!
I haven't been back
to that beach since.
So what happened
to the film?
She has it.
She's always threatening to
upload it onto her blog site.
Harsh!
So, I guess we all have
something on each other now.
None of this
leaves this table!
If the ladies hear
about my body wave,
I might as well
just give up.
Don't worry, Jonesy.
It's in the vault.
But that doesn't mean
we can't laugh at you.
(Laughing)
Laugh it up, poopy pants.
So are we still going to
that hypnotist show tonight?
Definitely.
This guy's
supposed to be amazing.
Later, dudes.
Date number one
in ten minutes.
Whoa!
(Crashing)
Ah! Ooh!
Oops!
Embarrassing,
but you still win.
(Giggling)
And Jonesy got a perm!
(Snickering)
And he was so embarrassed
when he told us that.
It was so funny!
Man, that is bad!
Are you sure you should be
tellin' me this stuff, though?
Of course!
You're my boyfriend.
There's no secrets
between us!
Oh, okay!
So, what's your most
embarrassing moment?
Oh, I forget.
Cheque, please!
Of course, no one can touch
Shania Twain's song,
"I Feel like a Woman".
Shut up, Steve!
That's my favourite song!
Mine too!
(Phone beeping)
Of course, nothing beats
sharing a vanilla cupcake
with a golden Lab puppy.
I can't believe
this is happening!
I was so skeptical
about computer dating
but it's like we're--
Reading
each other's minds?
Mmm!
(Beeping)
Sorry, I have to run
and help my mom.
Maybe we could
hook up later
for a barefoot walk
on the beach?
Sure! Call me!
(Sighing)
Sissy the Vampire Slasher
season one.
You don't want this.
Uh, yes, I do.
I do want it.
Dude, are you
a little girl?
I mean,
you look like a man
but I'm wondering if you
suffered some form of trauma
that has destroyed
the part of your mind
that generates appreciation--
No!
--for quality vampire-based
entertainment.
All right. Yeah.
You, uh--
Vampyre Fighters.
Uh--
From Dusk 'Til More Dusk.
No, uh--
Nearer Dark.
And the chairman of the board,
Suck my Pulsing Neck--
Okay.
--the director's cut.
I guarantee that
by the end of these,
you'll be on a blood-sucking
rampage yourself.
Excuse--
Don't thank me.
Just go home and grow
some stones, 'kay?
I can't believe
that you're so into
Spanish contemporary poetry.
Is, it's so bueno!
I love zee rhyming.
She makes my heart swell
like a burrito grande.
(Phone beeping)
I must go.
We'll continue
our conversation manana,
my little chorizo sausage.
Ciao!
(Sighing)
(Crowd chatter)
So, when do I get to go
on my first date, Jonesy?
I've got a lot of love
to give.
Soon, Coach, soon!
In your case, there are
so many ladies hot to meet you,
I'm trying to weed out
the crazies!
Oh, not so fast there,
young man.
I like my women spicy!
M.C.:
Ladies and gentlemen,
the master approaches.
Direct from Tibet-
Zargon the Amaziologist!
I am Zargon!
In the next hour,
I will amaze you
with my powers of the mind.
I need a volunteer.
You, Sir,
with the uneven eyes.
He means you.
Me?
Well, okay!
(Cheering)
I've gotta warn you,
fella.
People have tried to hypnotize
me before, and uh, I don't--
Sleep.
(Crowd gasping)
(Applause)
Oh, this is so cool!
Go, Dustin!
You are an actor,
and I am auditioning you
for the role of a superhero!
Here I come
to save the day!
Wow! He's good.
I want you to imagine
that you are an announcer
for the top-rated
television gossip show.
And give us the scoop!
This just in-
Jonesy went to a salon once
and got a permanent wave!
(Crowd gasping)
Oh!
Dude! You did not!
Tell me you did not!
(Awkward chuckling)
Nikki ran head-first
into a stop sign
in front of
the whole school!
(Giggling)
Fascinating!
Tell us more.
Well, Zargon,
as we all know,
Jude got his first kiss
last month.
And boy, did he blow it!
He barfed in his
girlfriend's mouth! Yuck!
(Crowd reactions)
And did you know that Wyatt
still has a shrine
to Serena in his bedroom?
Oh-ho, naughty!
(Gasping)
Agh!
(Audience laughing)
But wait-
there's more!
Jen sat in a chocolate
and walked around all day
looking like she had a poop
stain on her white pants!
CAITLIN: Stop!
(Thudding)
Caitlin?
What happened?
Hey, guys.
(Nervous chuckling)
Uh, great show, huh?
(Chuckling)
Hey, guys!
Anybody want
a free lemon slush?
How about free
large super whips?
Come on, guys!
I'm sorry, okay?
What more can I say?
Uh, did you guys
hear something?
No, not a thing.
Unh-unh.
Nada.
How was I
supposed to know
Dustin was gonna
blab everything?
It's not my fault!
Yes! It is!
You told him
our most intimate secrets!
Do you have any idea
how embarrassing that was?
I officially will never be able
to look at Serena again!
I noticed the toilet paper story
didn't come up.
Let me guess, because
she didn't tell him that one!
(Gasping)
I couldn't!
We're at a critical stage
in our relationship.
I can't jeopardize it
with the toilet paper
in the bikini story.
You're blowing this whole thing
out of proportion.
I bet everybody's forgotten
about it already.
Is your head okay,
Nikki?
No, I feel sick!
Come over here
so I can hurl in your mouth!
(Retching noises)
(Gagging)
(Chuckling)
JUDE:
Come back!
Come here,
you creeps.
Ignore them, Nikki.
JULIE:
Great idea, chocolate butt.
(Gasping)
Oh, that is it! She's mine!
I'm outta here.
See ya later, guys?
(Groaning)
This is all Dustin's fault.
Kinda.
That feeling
when you reach the summit-
that rush of adrenaline?
That's climbing.
So, tell me all about
your Everest climb, Sven!
Oh, okay then.
It was, uh, really,
really, really...high.
Masterson!
Dobbs and I
have a bet going
and we need you
to settle it.
Sure, Coach.
Now, Dobbs says that
the chocolate you sat in
was dark chocolate,
but I maintain
that milk chocolate
would look
far more poop-like.
So, what was it?
I don't know!
I wasn't eating it.
I sat in it!
(Grunting)
Hey, that's no way
to talk to your superior.
Drop and give me .
(Sighing)
(Grunting)
You don't look anything
like your picture.
Yeah, ditto.
And you don't look anything
like an Imperial Klingon.
Whatever.
Can we end this now?
No.
Did you see Star Cop
on the Space Network
last night?
Yeah,
it's my favourite show.
Star Cop was cancelled
last year,
and it wasn't even on
the Space Network- loser.
I'm a loser?
You're the one
wearing fake ears!
Agh!
You aren't the guy
I was supposed to get
hooked up with, are you?
GIRL:
Steve?
I thought you had
to help your mom.
Uh...
GIRL IN GLASSES: No, silly.
(Gasping)
That's Juan Carlos.
Except-
where's your moustache?
Oh, wow!
You're both here!
What's she talking about,
Sven?
Wait- aren't you the guy
who got the perm?
Help!
(Screaming)
I want my money back.
You said you'd find
my soul mate.
No good liar!
GIRL:
Get him!
(Gasping)
(Gasping)
Together we can rule
the universe.
(Girls giggling)
One more crack
about stop signs
and you'll be
Siamese twins.
JEN:
Hey.
This is ridiculous.
I can't go anywhere
without being called
Chocolate Butt
or Butt Spot or--
BOY:
Butt brownie!
Shut it!
Come on.
Let's go to Underground.
Too many people know us
at The Squeeze.
Caitlin's gonna
pay for this.
Hey, barf girl.
Ate anything fishy lately?
(Retching noises)
(Giggling)
Scram, little dude.
(Stomach rumbling)
I can't go anywhere
without someone asking me
to taste test their bile!
I know!
They've been
all over me too!
It's like puking
in somebody's mouth
is the worst thing
a guy can do or somethin'.
Hardly any of it
went in your mouth.
(Gurgling noises)
And I only had a hotdog.
Wasn't like, pea soup
or guacamole
or cold pizza....
(Loud retching)
Way to go, dude.
Nothin' wrong with
blowin' a few chunks.
I wish
that's all I'd done.
Serena's taking out
a restraining order
with mall security.
(Ron clearing throat)
(Phone ringing)
Hello?
CAITLIN:
Jen, it's me.
I just wanted to say I'm so--
(Hanging up)
Hide me!
GIRL: Get him!
OTHER GIRL:
Where did he go?
GIRL:
I want my money back!
And you had it all
figured out, huh?
Okay!
It was a bad idea!
I'm officially firing myself
from the dating service.
Even I can only handle
one girl at a time.
Right.
I just have to make those guys
realize how sorry I am.
But first
I have to find them.
We can't stay here
forever.
Why not?
We can watch videos
until we die.
Or until someone else does
something really humiliating
and the attention
shifts from us to them.
I got a perm, Jen!
Finding something worse
than that could take months.
Oh, look.
Our revenge has arrived.
NIKKI:
Let the uploading begin.
(Chuckling)
How could she not
feel it flapping?
It's like an episode
of Pranked.
CAITLIN:
What are you guys watching?
(Gasping)
Hey, lemon-head.
You!
Your old girlfriend
was kind enough
to bring over
a little home video
from your trip
to the beach.
No!
(Gasping)
DUSTIN:
Hey, guys.
Sorry about blabbing
all that stuff to everyone.
(Groaning)
I feel terrible.
It's not your fault.
You were hypnotized.
But now
that you're here,
I'd like you to see
a little something.
Oh!
Uh, okay.
Don't do this, guys.
I'm begging you, please!
Hit it, Jude.
(Dustin chuckling)
No way! How could you not know?!
(Laughing hysterically)
Sorry!
(Laughing)
I've gotta--
See ya later, lemonhead.
(Groaning)
Well,
I hope you're happy.
Oh, not yet.
But we will be.
We're gonna upload this
to the class email directory.
(Gasping)
You wouldn't.
Come on, guys, it was
just a few people laughing.
Well then, you won't mind
taking some of the heat
off of us, will you?
Wait!
Haven't I been
humiliated enough?
Let me think.
Everyone in the mall
heard our embarrassing stories
and one person
has seen yours.
No.
I didn't do it on purpose!
(Groaning)
I'll be a laughingstock!
Join the club.
Best friends don't
email toilet paper videos!
Nice try.
Okay, look.
I know you guys
think those stories
are totally embarrassing,
but they're really
not that bad.
Take Wyatt.
So, he built
a creepy shrine to a girl.
It shows how capable
of loving someone he is.
I think it's sweet!
Jonesy, so you took
a bold chance with your hair.
You have to admire someone
who's not afraid to say,
"I'm a guy and
I'm getting a perm!"
So, people call you
Chocolate Butt.
Everyone knows you've got
the cutest booty in the mall.
That's true.
Shut up, Jonesy!
CAITLIN: He puked in your mouth
and you're still together.
Now, that's love.
Hey, yeah!
Don't tell me
there's an upside
to running
into a stop sign.
No. That's pretty bad.
But if there's ever anyone
who's taught me not to care
about what people think,
it's you, Nikki.
I can only think of one way
to show you how sorry I am.
(Inhaling)
There. Now we're all
in the same boat.
Whoa, that was awesome.
It was like Al Pacino
in And Justice For All.
When did I get old?
I can't believe
you did that.
You guys were mad!
And I care more about
what you think of me
than everyone else
at this school combined.
Uh,
about that upload-
I probably shoulda
mentioned this,
but we were connected to
the mall jumbotron system too.
(Gasping)
Nooo!
(Mall people laughing)
There must be a hundred people
watching in the food court!
(Groaning)
Oh.
I'm totally ruined.
Oh,
it's not that bad.
At least you don't have
a restraining order
from the toilet paper.
I can't believe
you didn't dump me.
Yeah. I've been meaning
to talk to you.
I think we should break up.
You what?
Why?
Because of
the toilet paper?
No.
Well, yeah.
(Thudding)
Oh, fine. Go.
Get out.
(Sniffling)
We broke up.
I guess
I can't blame him.
I mean,
I wouldn't wanna be dating
someone nicknamed
TP Tail either.
Ah,
who needs him?
Right.
You're right!
(Sniffing)
Got any chocolate?
Hey!
Don't look at me.
Check under her.
(All laughing)
♪
02x34 - Pillow Talk
Watch/Buy Amazon
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.