01x01 - The Tale of the Phantom Cab

[bunniefuu]

We're called
the Midnight Society.

[COYOTE HOWLING]

Separately, we're very different.
We like different things,

We go to different schools,
and we have different friends.

But one thing draws us together--

The dark.

Each week,
we gather around this fire

To share our fears
and our strange and scary tales.

It's what got us together,

and it's what keeps
bringing us back.

This is a warning to all who join us--

you're going to leave
the comfort of the light...

And step into the world
of the supernatural.

Watch your step.

- Hey, watch it, man!
- I'm sorry.

Frank Moore,
you're here to be considered

as a new member of
the Midnight Society.

Yeah, what's with the blindford?

This meeting place is a secret.

Yeah, and you're not in yet.

- [FRANK] Swell.
- Who sponsors, Frank?

I do.
He's a good guy.

Yeah, but can he tell a good story?

Who said that?

To be a member, you have
to tell us a scary tale.

Then we vote, and it has
to be unanimous or you're not in.

- You ready?
- Yeah. I'm ready.

- Are you guys ready?
- Ohh! - Ohh!

I'm scared now. Ooh!

Yo, take this thing off.

Sorry.
Not unless you get in.

You're the sponsor, Dave.
You got to start it.

Remember how to do it?

[FRANK]
Just say the word.

Anytime.
OK, let's do it.

Submitted for the approval,
of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

[FRANK]
Denny and Buzz were brothers.

Denny was big, strong, and smart.

Buzz was, well, kind of a geek

who wanted to prove himself
to his big brother.

What neither guy knew was
that on this hiking trap,

Buzz was going to get the chance.

So where are we, Tonto?

This is strange.

We're lost, aren't we?
"Don't sweat, Denny.

I know how to plot a course.
You never trust me."

I did trust you, and you
got us lost, Cheeseball.

- We're not lost.
- Watch it!

Great, Lame-wad!

Now we're lost,
and we can't read the map.

You are such a loser.

I'm not a loser,
and we're not lost.

Look.
There's the ridge we came up on.

We can circle back
and take the red trail.

Man, this is whacked.

Watch the edge.

Whoa!

- Grab my hand.
- I can't! I'll fall!

Grab me you jerk!

Hey, I saved the compass.

I should have let you fall.

[FRANK]
The guys really were lost.

It was just a pain at first,

but nighttime was coming up fast,
and It was getting cold.

It doesn't make sense.

Do you even know
how to use this?

Give me a break.
We've been going South for hours.

We should have been in town by now.

Look, the needle points North,
and we're headed South.

What can I say?

That the way you always hold it?

Yeah. So?

Your belt buckle, genius.
It's metal.

The needle's always going to point to it,
because it's a magnet.

- Uh-oh.
- Yeah. Uh-Oh.

We've been going
the wrong way all day.

Now we're lost,
and its freezing.

- You are worthless!
- No! No! I know this place.

We've got to be close to town!

[DENNY]
Slow down!

This trail up here!
Come on!

I should pound you!

Look!

Someone's coming.

- [DENNY] Maybe it's a Ranger.
- Or maybe it's a hiker

that knows his way back to town.

I hope he's got a blanket.
I'm freezing!

- Me, too!
- Forget it! You can freeze.

Maybe it's a maniac k*ller
in a hockey mask

who's going to slash us.

Or maybe you should stay here,
and let me do the talking.

Uh, hey, hello, who's there?

Whoa! Turn off the brights.

Hello.
What have we here?

I'm Buzz, and this is Denny.

We got lost, we can't
find the trail back to town.

Easy, Toad.

- You're not a Ranger, are you?
- Ha ha ha!

Ranger? No, not me.

I'm a traveler, same as you.

Flynn's the name.
Ha ha ha!

So, what are you doing up here?
Are you lost, too?

Lost-- me?
Oh, you might say that,

though I suppose
I couldn't be truly lost.

I know these woods too well.

We far from town?
Farther than you know, my friends.

- Farther than you know.
- So, can you help us get back?

Me?

Yeah, you.
I don't see anybody else here.

You guys look half-frozen.
Tell you what.

You follow me, and I'll lead you
to someone who can help you.

Wait.

I wouldn't go with him.
He gives me the creeps.

You got a better idea?

Don't worry.
I can handle this dude.

[BUZZ] Why don't you just
tell us how to get back?

Too far. You'd never find
your way in the dark.

So who's this guy
you're taking us to?

The Good Doctor. He's got a
cottage little ways up here.

In the woods?

What kind of a doctor
lives in the woods?

Patience, boys. You'll see.
By the way--

How are you guys at solving riddles?

Riddles? Why?

Just asking. Just asking.

There you go, boys--
the home of the Good Doctor,

just like I promised.

You guys thought
I was joking, didn't you?

[DENNY] Who lives here,
the seven dwarves?

There's just one thing, guys.

Before you go asking
the doctor for help,

you make sure you really need it.

Why?

Well, sometimes the price
he charges is a little, uh... steep.

Ha ha ha ha!

So, why don't you tell us how--

- Yo, Flynn!
- This is creepy. Let's bolt.

To where?
We're lost, remember?

You're not going in there!

What else are we going to do?
It's freezing.

Maybe he's got a phone.

Back off, would you?

I'm sorry I got us lost, Denny.

Don't worry. I'll smack
you when we get home.

- [TWIG SNAPS]
- [SOBBING]

What's that?

Flynn, I know it's you.
He's trying to scare us.

- He's doing a good job.
- [TWIG SNAPS]

That can't be him, too.
Probably a raccoon.

- That's no raccoon!
- [HIGH-PITCHED WAILING]

- Denny, what's going on?
- [WICKED LAUGHTER]

Denny-- come on!

- What's there?
- I don't know.

Open up!

[MAN] You boys have made
a very grave mistake.

I don't suppose either of you
are any good at riddles?

Ha ha ha ha!

The wrong house.
Bye.

Boys, boys.
You've made a mistake.

If you're at my door at
this time of night,

you've taken a wrong turn
and lost your way. Correct?

- Yeah.
- Happens all the time.

Come in, come in.
Get warm.

Vink's the name-- Dr. Vink.

- Dr. Fink?
- Vink-- with a vvv, vvv, vvv, vvv.

Who wants tea? I do!

Hot Tea at a cold night-- perfect.

[DENNY] uh... Flynn said you could
help us find a way to get back to town.

- Natural Science.
- Huh?

That's why I'm here,
in case you're wondering.

I dedicated my life
to studying Flora and Fauna.

Who?

There are many strange and
wonderful things that ocur in nature,

but no one takes the time
to really look and study.

Observe.

[WHISPERING]
This guy's a nut-bag.

Behold a true wonder of nature--

the brian of a Wild Boar.

Eewww... cool!

I've discovered that long
after the body dies,

the brain still gives
off electric impluses.

Can you imagine If that
energy could be harnessed?

And, I am not a nut-bag.

Look, our parents are probably
going nuts by now, and, uh--

Riddles.

How are you boys at riddles?

Doc, we're tired,
and we just want to go home.

Indeed, indeed.
But first, a riddle.

Try this one--

how far can you walk
into the woods?

We don't want to do riddles.

But you must!
Riddles exercise your brain,

and where would you
be with no brain?

I don't know.
Ask the Wild Boar.

- Halfway.
- Say what?

He asked how far
you can walk into the woods.

Halfway.
After that, you'd be walking out.

Good! Very good!

You may do.

[DENNY]
Uh, I'm going to call our folks.

No, no, not yet!

We've only just begun.
No. I think we're done.

We play by my rules,
or we don't play.

- What do you want?
- Another riddle.

Here's the deal--

I ask you a riddle,
and if you solve it,

you could call your parents.

And If we don't solve it?

- Then you leave.
- That's it? We just leave?

Simple, no?

Let's do it.
I'm good at riddles.

- OK, what's the riddle?
- Wonderful.

Wonderful!
Now, what riddle?

Let's see. There's the...

No, not that one.

Maybe the...

No.

Ah-- the perfect choice.

This is a riddle that
has perplexed many

and confounded even more,

and now, young lads,
it's your turn to solve it.

Here we go.

What is it that had no weight,

can be seen by the naked eye,

and If you put in a barrel,

It would make the barrel lighter?

- I hate riddles!
- OK. It's weightless,

tt can be seen by the naked eye,

and if put in a barrel,
would make the barrel lighter.

So?

I don't know.

Good-bye.
I knew you wouldn't get it.

Wait.
That riddle was too hard.

- Give us another one.
- You had your chance and failed,

like all the others.

Others? What others?

Go away.

- You know where the door is.
- But we're lost!

Take a left on the trail,
and follow it to dirt road, and wait.

A taxicab will pick you up.

A cab? In the woods?

Comes by every night.
Hurry, or you'll miss it.

Come on, Doc,
Just let us use the phone.

There is one way,
I suppose.

What? What's that?

- You can leave me a specimen.
- A specimen?

You're much smarter than your
brother gives you credit for.

What kind of specimen?

Something
I can use in my experiments.

Something valuable.

Something fresh.

Something like...

- this!
- Aah! - Aah!

- Aah!
- Aah!

Goodbye... for now.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. No fair.

You can't put a riddle in a story
that can't be solved.

- Maybe it can.
- Yeah, right.

It's weightless, you can see it,

and if you put it in a barrel,
it makes the barrel lighter.

No way.

Sounds like one of those riddles
you can't solve.

- That's a cheat.
- No. Maybe it can be solved.

Maybe you should all just lighten up
and let me finish the story.

[COYOTE HOWLS]

Thank you.

So Denny and Buzz beat feet
back into the woods.

All they wanted was to get as
far away from Dr. Vink as possible.

Hey, Denny, wait up!

Was...
was that somebody's hand?

You saw it.
That guy's a lunatic!

Soon as we get home,
I'm calling the cops.

- We're still lost, you know.
- Yeah, I know.

You really think a cab's
going come by?

Get real.
There's no cabs in the woods.

[HONK HONK]

[HONK HONK]

No. No way.

He wasn't lying.
It's a taxicab.

Man, are we ever glad you came by!
Take us into town.

- [BELL RINGS]
- [TIRES SQUEAL]

Our parents will pay the fare
when we get home.

Don't worry.
I know you're good for it.

- Flynn! Flynn!
- I figured I'd run into you guys again.

Guess you didn't solve the riddle.

How do you know?
Who are you?

I give a ride to folks
who can't answer Dr. Vink's riddles.

Happened to me
around years ago.

- Whoa! Slow down!
- years ago?

Yes. I gave Dr. Vink
a ride up here in my cab.

He offered me a big tip
if I could solve the riddle.

I couldn't,
So he took a specimen from me.

- What kind of specimen?
- You didn't see it at his house?

Whoo, boy!
I think it's one of his favorites.

What is it?

It's not what it is--
it's what it was.

[BUZZ]
Uughh!

- He took your hand?
- I got off easy.

For years, I've been bringing
folks up to Dr. Vink's,

hoping they can solve the riddle,
but they don't,

so they all end up here with me.

- What happens to them?
- Hey, Dr. Vink needs his specimens.

You're a lying sack!
First of all, you're not that old.

Didn't I tell you?

Before the good doctor
got his specimen,

I had myself a nasty little accident,
crashed into this big old tree.

You might say... I sort of died!

- Ha ha ha!
- Aah! - Aah!

Stop the car.
Stop the car!

They all die, just like me.

Every night I have the same
accident with a different fare.

Its kinda of a curse.
You probably heard some of my fares

- up around Dr. Vink's house.
- The bushes-- they were ghosts!

Nobody can leave until someone
solves Dr. Vink's riddle.

I was hoping the two of you
could do it--

You know, somehow
break the spell. Oh, well.

Wait till you see the accident
we're going to have.

- It's going to be a real doozie.
- This is your fault!

You said you could solve the riddle!
You still got time.

We don't crash for another,
oh... seconds.

Think fast, boys.

- Think!
- OK, OK. It's weightless,

it can be seen by the naked eye,
and if it's put in a barrel,

it will make the barrel lighter.

- [RATTLING DOOR HANDLE]
- We're dead. We're dead!

- I can't think like this!
- You have to!

It's helium!
Helium will make the barrel lighter.

- But you can't see helium.
- Won't be long now.

What can you see that's weightless?

Nothing.
Air, but you cant see air.

Or can you? Wait a second.
There's a trick here.

You can't put something
in the barrel to make it lighter.

You have to take something out.

If you take something out
of the barrel itself,

it'll be lighter.

Wait till you see the expl*si*n
we're going to make.

- I got it! I know the answer!
- What is it?

It's weightless, you could see it,

and if you put it a barrel,
it'll make the barrel lighter.

- Say it!
- It's a hole in the barrel!

Here we go-- yee-ha!

We didn't crash.
We're alive.

Where's the cab?
It's gone.

We broke the curse.
We're saved!

No, we didn't break the curse.
You did.

Nice going.
But you're still a loser!

Oh, man, not again!

- You Denny and Buzz Crockers?
- Yeah. - Yeah.

Your parents have been
going nuts looking for you.

The whole town's in an uproar.
Come on. Get in.

What are you boys doing here,
anyway?

- Tell me something.
- How are you at riddles?

[FRANK] No one ever saw
the Phantom Cab again,

and when the boys brought the police
back to Dr Vink's cottage,

all that was left was an old stone
foundation covered with weeds.

The End.

And now, we vote.
Thumps up means Frank's in,

thumbs down, he's not,
and it has to be unanimous.

David?

Kiki?

Betty Ann?

Kristen?

Eric?

And me.

Congratulations, Frank.
Welcome to the Midnight Society.

All right! Good job.

Yeah.
This is going to be good.

All right.