Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

Mum, they want pain meds.
That I get for them?

It's over, Lev.

Whatever you need, I'll do it.

What you doing there, Jan?

Oi! What do you think you're doing?
You know what to do.

# Ten green bottles
hanging on a wall

# Ten green bottles
hanging on a wall

# And if one green bottle
should accidentally fall

# There'll be nine green bottles
hanging on the wall

# Nine green bottles
hanging on the wall

# Nine green bottles
hanging on the wall

# And if one green bottle
should accidentally fall

# There'll be eight green bottles
hanging on the wall. #

Hey, how are you doing?
There's a nice house you got there!

Look at the state of that.

Leave me alone.I like your jacket,
darling. Very nice.

What do you want?

What do I want? What do you want?

No!

BLOWS LAND

SHE GROANS

Oi! Leave her alone!

You left early this morning.
Yeah, I had some stuff to do, so...

It's the divorce petition.

I wanted to read it
away from prying eyes.

The kids', not yours.

So how was ice skating?

I meant to give you this last night,

but you went to bed
before we got home.

Thanks.
You look like you had a nice time.

The kids missed you at breakfast.

The girls, they...

They made you a bacon sandwich.

Wow. Maybe they are
starting to forgive me.

I told you they would. Dylan
might need to watch out, though.

He's not their favourite person.

Did you tell them
Dylan isn't a factor any more?

Not really my place.

They haven't told Luka, have they?

No. Your secret is safe from him.

My secret?

I'm not the one with a secret, Lev.

Let's not get into this here.

No, let's not do that here,
or anywhere for that matter,

if it's talking about you.

It's not fair.

It's not fair that the girls think
that I'm solely to blame for this.

RADIO: Holby Control to 3006.

I've got to go.

Great, OK.

Mm-hm.

I feel as though she's doing it
to annoy me at this point.

Jade may be messy, but I'm sure
she makes up for it in other ways.

Are you OK?Yes, yes. Just...

..a hot flush.

Talking about "the change",

there's a lady at my club

who's having a bit of trouble
downstairs.

Oh, OK. I'm going to stop you
there, Mum. That's not my area.

Tell her to go and see her GP.

How do you deal with female patients
with these problems?

I usually just give them
to another nurse.

Nick...help.

All right. Don't try to talk.
We're helping you now, OK.

This the impalement?

Yeah, this is Tara, 32, found after
an as*ault with an unknown w*apon.

Boggy scalp haematoma, she vomited
and her GCS is dropping to 12.

She's been pushed onto some wood
with a nine-inch nail sticking out.

It looks really close
to the femoral artery.

I've secured it as best as
I can to prevent further movement.

We also found
a wrap of heroin on her.

I'm Iain, by the way.
You're Fenisha, right?

Yeah, yeah. That's Lev.Hello, mate.

Jan said you were good
at finding trouble!

Likewise.

Any sign of the attacker?No.

Nick...

She keeps saying "Nick".
It might be him.

Ah, damn!Right, let's get some
more pressure on that wound.

She seems to be deteriorating.

Let's prep for an RSI
and we'll fly her in.

You need to find yourself a nice boy
to settle down with.

Save up for a house.Save?

Mum, by the time I've paid for rent
and food and skin care,

there's nothing left.

What food are you buying?
Like, pasta and sauce mainly.

So don't bother giving me

that boomer "stop eating avocado"
nonsense.

Honestly, your generation knows
nothing about true suffering.

Cheeky monkey!

Mum?

Mum!

What?

I think she was trying
to tell me something.

She was high. Come on.

It's your first day back,
stop looking for drama.

There's blood here.

Lev. Lev! Quick!

This is Bibi Kirkby, 59. Collapsed
after saying she was feeling unwell.

Heart rate 120. BP 110 over 60.

She's had IV paracetamol and
250ml of fluid.OK, thank you.

Hello, Bibi. It's Dr Hardy.

I don't know if you remember me
from last time.

It's not more heart trouble, is it?

No, no issues there.

I feel so silly.

I don't need all this fuss.

Just let them look after you,
lovely.

OK. Let's get bloods and cultures
and a full sepsis screening, please.

We'll start her on sepsis pathway,

but let's also get an ECG
and a COVID test, please.

Contusions over chest wall,
potential rib fractures,

a suspected dislocated
right shoulder

and he had blow to the nose,
the bleeding's finally stopped.

OK, sweetheart. It's OK.
Stay calm it's just an oxygen mask.

HE GROANS

Obs-wise, he has remained stable
and GCS 15 throughout.

He's had 10mg of morphine
and IV paracetamol.

He's refusing immobilisation.

OK, Faith, could you do the primary
survey, please?Absolutely.

Nick - is that it?Yeah, that's all
we could get out of him.

Nick of no fixed abode, and
he really doesn't want to be here.

OK, thanks.

Nick, do you have any allergies?
On any medication?No.

OK, is there someone
we can call for you?No.

I'm fine, I just want to go.

Nick, can you please stay still
for us? We need to check you over.

It's OK. It's all right.
It's OK. That's it.

OK, airway's clear.

Hey, so we heard you were
a bit of a hero earlier.

No.

That's not what we heard.

We heard you stopped a girl
from getting her head caved in.

Do you want to give me a surname?

That would be good -
we can get you checked in. No?

Let me get your arm,
I'm just going to turn over.

I'm just going to cut your sleeve,
OK?

Does it hurt there?Ohh!Yeah?

OK. The raised temperature
and the abdominal pain

and the burning sensation you're
getting from passing water

would suggest a urinary tract
infection.Another.

Do you get a lot of those?
All the time. I...

It's best that we know all the facts
and then we can treat you properly.

I got a mesh put in.

A vaginal mesh?

But it's caused more issues
than it solved.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I'd heard they've been a success
for a lot of women.

Not me.

I've had one UTI
after another recently.

Antibiotics don't seem
to work any more.

I see.

All right, we'll get a urine sample
so we can test for any unusual bugs.

We'll also start you
on a course of antibiotics,

just to be on the safe side

while we wait for the results
of the other investigations.

In the meantime,
you just need to rest.Thank you.

Apparently, they've caught
the attackers.

The police'll want
a statement from Nick

after Tina's brought him back
from CT.Good.

This no life, is it?Hmm?

Everything he owns,
and we've cut it.

Yeah, uh... I'll see
what's in the charity cupboard.

Yeah, that's a good...
METAL CLATTERS

Oh, I'm sorry, I...

What's that?

It's a medal.

"James Kershaw, piano winner."

Hmm. "Heathborne School of Music".
That looks old.

Do you think that's his real name?

I think it's weird to carry it
about if it isn't, right?

Is she OK?

I don't know.

Mr Kirkby.Graham, please.

I'm glad to see she's in good hands.

Bibi has given me permission to
update you both on her condition.

How is she?She's OK.

It looks like a UTI,

but we're running some tests and
we're keeping a close eye on her.

What, for a UTI?

We're screening for sepsis.

Caused by what?

Potentially related
to her vaginal mesh.

Vaginal mesh?

Lev? That bacon sandwich
the girls made me?

Uh-huh?It was full of chillies.
HE LAUGHS

That's not funny,
that could've been dangerous!

Did you know anything about that?
No, I had no idea.

I'll have a word with them.
OK, thanks.

Hey. I've found him.

Who?Nick.

Well...James.

His mum owns the music school.

Oh, wow, he looks so young.Yeah.

He was 16 there.

His mum must be going
out of her mind with worry.

Did you call the police?

No, there's no need. He's an adult.
That was eight years ago.

He's still her little boy.

She's just going to want
to know he's alive.

It's out of our hands.

Well, not really. I mean,
there's a phone number there.

No, no. No way.

If he wants his mum,
he knows where she is.

We can't intervene.
SHE SIGHS

So what was this mesh for, then?
I don't know.

Women's problems, I suppose.

Stress incontinence.

Had you been suffering long?Years.

Did you have the implant
before the procedure was suspended?

After.

I went private.

You know what your mum's like.

I figured it was some new fad
she was into.

It's demoralising...

..worrying about sneezing, laughing,
coughing.

Having to take a change of underwear
everywhere with you

in case you have an accident.

Did you even go with her
to the clinic?

She told me not to - that it
was a quick in-and-out jobbie.

My GP eventually referred me
to a specialist physio on the NHS,

but while I was waiting to see them,
a friend suggested I try private.

I found this clinic,

and they said the mesh was
basically a miracle solution.

A 20-minute procedure

and my years of pain

and indignity would all be over.

For a pretty penny, I imagine?
About five grand.

But I'd have gladly paid more,
I was at the end of my tether.

And she's had trouble with it since?

Apparently.

It never felt right.

The clinic said
I needed to let it settle.

But the pain just got worse
and worse.

They said it was in my head.

That's idiotic.

I'm sorry, it's negligent.

They should only have offered
this operation as a last resort.

You must have felt very lonely.

When you're a woman my age,
you get used to being ignored.

Well, not today, OK?

The CT will help us figure out
what's causing these infections.

Thank you.

You're useless, do you know that?

I mean, how can you know so little
about your own wife?

You can hardly talk -
she didn't tell you, did she?

And you're the medical professional!

All right.

Did you miss us?

I don't think they did.

Maybe we should go back.
SHE CHUCKLES

Did you see the images?

Dislocated right shoulder,
but everything else is clear.

Right, we can reduce that here.

We found something
whilst you were gone.

It's not mine. I found it.

We know that's not true, James.

James?

Please don't tell my mum
that I'm here.

Please, please...

All right, all right.
We've not contacted your mum.Good.

She can't know that I'm here.

VOICEMAIL:Hi, this is Ffion.

Leave a message,
I'll get back to you.

Jan.

Hiya.

You had a drop-off?

Yeah, yeah. She's upstairs.

Listen,
have you heard anything from Ross?

It's only a matter of time.

Why?

I put a request in last week to see
him, I wanted to have a little chat.

Never really thought he'd say yes.
Has he?

Got a visit booked after my shift.

You're not going, are you?

Look, Jan, if I can just talk
to him, make him...

You know you can't - you know that.

You'll just wind him up.

Promise me you won't go.
PHONE DINGS

HE SIGHS

Was that Ffion?

Annoyed at me for getting her
out of the bath.

Told me to stop bothering her
every two minutes.

Sounds like she's getting better,
if she's well enough to have a go.

She keeps telling me not to worry.

And I keep wanting to tell her
it's the least I can do...

TEARFULLY:..because
this is all my fault.

Hey, it's not your fault.

Every time the phone goes,

I think it's to say
that she's been hurt again.

Or that it's Ross
with my next assignment.

HE GROANS

Can we get the polysling, please,
so we can take him to cubicles?

I feel weird.Yeah.
That'll be the ketamine.

It'll wear off really soon.

KNOCK ON DOOR

No!
You promised you didn't call her.

I'm sorry, you can't be in here.

It's really you.

How did she know he was here?

Leave me alone.

You need to leave,
he said he doesn't want you here.

No!

No, don't go!

HE SOBS

It's OK. It's OK, sweetheart.

It's all right.
She's not going anywhere. OK.

Ssh... I know.

I won't be long.

I'm going for coffee.
Do you want one?

So you had surgery and you didn't
think to mention it!

Don't be upset, Azizam.

Is that what you were trying to
ask me about at breakfast?

Then why say it was for a friend?

It's not something mothers
discuss with their sons.

Mum, after I came out, we agreed

that we were going to tell each
other everything.

You practically faint at the mention
of ladies' problems.

I could have helped!
No matter, it's being sorted now.

Right, your CT.

OK, it shows that there's some
fluid behind your uterus

which looks like a pelvic abscess.

What?

Now, the next step is, I think
it will need to be drained.

But I'm going to get somebody from
surgery to come

and talk to you properly about it.
OK?

I can't believe it's you.

You look exactly the same, but...

..completely different at the
same time.

Hi! So I have some great news.

The girl that you helped,
she's going to be OK.

Thanks to you.

How do you know her?

I don't, really.

She's just another rough sleeper.

Right, well, I will get you
booked in at the fracture clinic

and I'll just be over there.Thanks.

We've missed you so much.

Katie especially.

How is she?

She's going to lose her mind
when she sees you.

She, uh, she still sometimes plays
that duet.

You know, the one you
were working on before you left.

Fantasia in F Minor...

I'm not coming home, Mum.

I'm sorry.

Why not?

I can help you.No, you can't.

Please, just trust me when I promise
you it's best you never know.

Tell me.

You won't even want to look at me
once you know the truth.

So, bladder, pelvic floor...

Hello.

Um, what are you doing?

This is vaginal mesh for stress
incontinence,

a simple practical guide.

So, bladder, pelvic floor.

OK. So, during childbirth,
the muscles

of the pelvic floor can become
weakened,

and the extra pressure
on the bladder can cause leaking.

So - mesh.

And, yes, it really does look
like this.

It's made of plastic
and it just sits like that

and supports like a hammock.

Seems simple enough.

OK, but complications can lead to
irreversible trauma.

Like what? How?Well, I'm going to
show you.

If you see the weaknesses there in
the pelvic floor?

OK, there.

Now, unfortunately, the bladder
isn't that much like a tomato.

It can be like trying to get
chewing gum out of matted hair.

Hm. How many women have problems?

It's a minority. About 3%.

OK, that's not too bad.
That's thousands.

Thousands?Mm-hm.
How did this even happen?

Women always get the raw deal.
No, you don't.

Women's health is generally less
understood than men's.

Receives less research funding.

I think reports suggest that women

receive less analgesic than men

and their pain is treated less
aggressively.Why?

That's cos men are tough
and women are whiny.

I've had this conversation with
you in my head a million times.

And every time you
turn your back on me.

Um...would you like me to leave?

When I was 11...

..turning 12...

..all I could think about was the
girls in my class.

Girls my age on TV.

As I got older, the...age of
the girls

I was attracted to stayed the same.

I was in denial for a long time.

I got a girlfriend my own age, but I
was just going through the motions.

I looked for advice online.

I found a group that said that they
could help.

But they just turned out to be
a load of sickos that said

it was OK to act on it,

rather than control it.

No, this is all wrong.

You're just confused.I'm not.

I wish I was, believe me.

It sickens me as much as it
does you.

I've tried everything
I can to fix myself, but I can't.

That's why I had to leave.

What about Katie?

No!You hurt her, didn't you?

That's why you ran off.No, I swear.

Well, she was the right age.

What did you do?

I haven't had those thoughts
about her.

I haven't touched anybody.

And never want to.

I'm sorry... I can't do this.

No.

THEY SOB

DOOR BUZZER

So, I assume Mummy Dearest's gone
running to you.

She was a mess.

It didn't take much to get it
out of her.

Which is why you need to stop this
now, before she cracks

and you both end up in big trouble.

Believe it or not, I never meant to
get involved in this.

I do believe it.

She said that they hurt you until

you agreed to supply them with
dr*gs.

And now I'm in too deep.

There's no backing out.
It wouldn't be safe for me...or Mum.

Ask for protective custody.

Tell them you're in fear
for your life.

They'll move you onto a different
wing. You'll be safe.

HE SCOFFS

You really are green, aren't you?

There's no such thing as safe
in here.

They can get to me wherever I am.
And to Mum.

You love your mum, I know you do.

Course I do.Yeah?Yeah.

I don't want her involved.
I never did. She offered to do it.

OK.OK.

So you do it, then.

I don't know where the mum is.
It's all a bit of a mess.

Yeah. One that could have been
avoided if you hadn't called

her in the first place.Did you?
Yes, but I was trying to help.

I didn't think it'd lead to this.

Which is exactly why I warned you
not to get involved!

I need to call Dylan in on this.

Well, we should call the police
and safeguarding.

He said he hadn't hurt anyone.

We don't know if that's true.

They should lock him up anyway,
the little pervert.

You can't jail people for
their thoughts.

If he hasn't done anything.
So he says.

You're all just blindly trusting
that he hasn't

acted on his sick fantasies.

I don't know how you can
even look at him

knowing what he'd like to do to
little girls like Ana.

Uh, because I'm professional.

HE EXHALES SHARPLY

Did you speak to the girls?Yes.

And?

They apologised.
Said they won't do it again.

But, um, they want to come out
for dinner with me tonight.

No. Lev, no,
it's my night to have them.

What did you say?I said yes.

You said we need to tread
carefully with them.

That's very convenient for you,
isn't it?

It's not convenient at all.

You wanted this divorce, not me.

You must be insane if you think I'll
be your delivery boy.

After what you did to Base...

Oh, you're not still
banging on about that loser?

Do you really think he'd still be
alive now either way?

If you care for my mum as much
as you say you do,

you'd agree in a heartbeat.

You don't deserve a mum like Jan.

You never have.
I never had a mum like Jan.

She was never there.Oh!

Poor little Ross, having to
share his mummy with Ffion.

Ffion, her job, you.

She left me to face life-threatening
surgery on my own

so she could bail you out of
prison.

You don't know anything about me
and my mum.

I know all you do is cause her pain.

I promise I'm not going to let
you do that this time.

Oh, yeah, what are you going to do?

Hit me again?

I think he'd have something to
say about that.

You going to grass me up?

Mum'll be in just as much
trouble as me.

More. She's got something to lose.

You're a muppet. Go home.

I'm going back to my cell.

DOOR BUZZER

We'll arrange for one of our mental
health team to come

and have a talk with you, OK?

You can do that, yeah?

Sorry about him, he's not
known for his bedside manner.

Especially not for paedos.

Would you be willing to talk to
the mental health team?

What's the point?

They can't help me.
You don't know that.

If there's no beds available
for psychotics or schizophrenics,

then they're not going to do
anything for me.

The only help available for a person
like me is reserved for offenders.

How messed up is that?

I don't think that's strictly true.

James, you really should
talk to them.

And I'm so sorry we contacted
your mum.

That shouldn't have happened.

Has she been back?

No.

I'm sorry.

It's nothing I didn't expect.

I've heard her and her friends
talking about it.

They should bring back
the death penalty.

Lock them all up.

But they're talking about
sex offenders,

people who act on their feelings.

You say that's not you.

It's not.

There's no difference in most
people's eyes.

Marie? How are you doing?

I've just had to call my daughter

and ask if her older brother has
ever touched her inappropriately.

What did she say?

"No way, Mum, are you insane?"

I feel like I might be.

How is this my life?

Where did I go wrong?

Oh, Marie, this is not your fault.

This is no-one's fault.

I wish you'd never called me.

That's a terrible thing to say,
isn't it?No.

I feel sick.

You're in shock.

What do I do?

I've got Katie to think about.

And...my students.

The music school's my home.
I get it.

I get it. I've got kids.

And I just...I don't know what
I would do if I just had to

listen to what you heard.

He says he hasn't acted on
his feelings. Hm.

Is that likely?

I think you need to speak to someone
with more experience in this.

But if you want my personal
opinion...

..I think without support
and guidance,

he'll just be driven underground,

isolated from society, and he'll
slip further into a black hole.

James, no, that's private.

What are you...?No.

I wasn't...

Oh, no, no. They're...
They're my kids.

Can you put it down? Put it down!

Just...

James!

He went missing about
15 minutes ago.

OK, thanks.

I've let Security know.

Oh...

Oh, now what...

Have you found him?No, not yet.

I can't lose him again.
Not with him thinking I hate him.

I totally understand, so why don't
you wait in the relatives' room?

No! I need to find him.
He needs to know I came back.

Marie!

Have you seen James...Nick,
the guy you scooped earlier?

He's gone missing.Have you checked
the children's ward?

That's not funny.This is why I said
he should have been locked up.

The guy's a danger to the
hospital now.

More likely a danger to himself.
Good.

One less on the streets to
worry about.

What has happened to you?

Nothing.Yes, it has.
This isn't the man that I married.

I wonder why.What? No!

You can't blame him or me
for the way that you're feeling.

This hardness in you,
this bitterness,

is years and years of denial.

You're not going to feel
better about anything

until you accept the fact
you're gay.

Lev...

Lev...

Hey. Did you know that Lev was...?
No.

Is he OK? He looked really upset.

Also, were Faith and Dylan...?
I don't know.

It doesn't matter what happened,

no-one deserves to be
outed like that.

MONITORS BEEP

Hi.Hey.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

Who are you talking to?
To both of you.

I had no right to call you useless.

And I understand now why you
didn't tell me.

I was just being a brat.Yes.

But you're our brat.

MONITOR BEEPS

SHE GROANS

Bibi?
SHE GROANS

Jade, could you get Ethan for me,
please?

James! James!

Any sign?No, not yet.

James? Open the door!

First floor, old admin office.

She's deteriorating, her NEWS score
is eight and her abdomen is rigid.

OK, can we call the surgeons
and let them

know we're going to bring
her straight up?Hurts...

OK, Bibi, we're going to get one the
surgical doctors now to see you now.

Can't you do it?Not this time.
No, I'm sorry.

I can't come home, Mum.I know.

But that doesn't mean you have to
live on the streets.

We can find you a nice bedsit,

one of your own, where you can feel
secure.

And we'll get you some proper help.

We'll go privately if needs be.

You're just saying that.

No, I'm not, I swear.

I'm your mum,
and it's my job to look after you.

It's OK.

I've fixed it.

What do you mean?

SHE SOBS

DOOR OPENS

Oh!

Oh, no. What have you done?!

Help! Help!

OK, we're going for rapid sequence
intubation, so can we make sure

the other units are matched?

And let's keep the pressure on
that wound.

They're prepping a theatre for
him now.

I'd like to know how he got hold of
a scalpel.I have no idea.

Why would he do this?I don't know.

Maybe he thought it would
answer his problems.

He can't be accused if he doesn't...
It's so extreme.

He must have been desperate.

It's not like it's going to
solve anything.OK, OK.

Less chat, more action, please.

I'm right here, James.

OK, thank you.

What did she say?

The mesh had eroded into her
bowel as well as being

the cause of the abscess.

They've got it all out, though?
Some of it.

But some of it has basically
fused to her bowel.

They'd need her consent to remove it

because that might lead to
other issues.Right.

Is that it?
Mum's going to have to choose

between keeping this thing
inside of her

and having half her bowel removed,
and all you can say is "right"?

I don't know what you want me
to say, son.

OK? I'm gutted for her. Devastated.

She trusted those doctors,
and they betrayed her.

But what can I do? I'm not a doctor.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Faith. Hey, please. Come in.

Thanks.Take a seat.

Um, if this about that change
of shift...

I know it's late notice...

It's fine, but that's not the reason
why I asked to speak to you.

Now, I heard that you informed
a Mrs Kershaw that her son

was in the ED, which is against the
code of conduct.Yeah, I know.

But I just kept thinking about that
poor woman constantly worrying...

If that was my son...

But that was not your call to make.
I know, you're right.

I'm really sorry.

I've also been informed that you
outed a staff member earlier today.

Uh, actually, that was an argument.

With my husband.Yes, but that was
in work hours, on work property.

Now, I've had a chat with HR.

We think it best that you take
mandatory leave.

Wow. OK.

Great, OK.

Faith... Faith, I am really,
really sorry.

But maybe some time off will
do you some good.

Look, it's been a long day.

Go home to your family.

PHONE:Harrington Street Clinic.

If you'd like to leave a message,
please do so after the beep.

PHONE BEEPS

Yeah, this is a message for
the person that's put the

ticking time b*mb inside my mum.

I don't care who you are, I don't
care how much money you may have,

I'm not going to rest until I've
taken you down.