Nine ball.
That was it for us back then.
That was our game.
Game, hell, it was a religion.
Yeah, we lived for Friday-
- Friday nights
at Lucky's Tavern.
Doug's Uncle Frank owned the place.
He'd let us come in after hours,
and we would sh**t
pool till the next morning.
with drinks on the-
- With drinks on the house.
Shit, all we had to do was
clean things up a little bit,
and the place was ours.
That was the life, all right.
Back then, things were simple.
You start out-
- With the one ball,
and you work your way up.
See, that was the great
thing about nine ball.
Everybody knew the rules up front,
so you took your shot.
That was it.
- That was it.
There was no regrets,
no f*cking apologies.
Good or bad, you lived
with it 'cause sometimes
it's your night-
- Sometimes it's your night.
Sometimes it's not.
Hey, old man.
Did you know this
is private property?
Yeah, d'you lose something?
Fess up, old man.
Sh.
- Whoa, he's got it going on.
- Oh-ho.
Stop being funny, come on.
Come on, baby.
Oh, man, the way that
looked, it gotta hurt.
Ah, you m*therf*cker,
you got popped.
- I need a drink.
Okay, one bottle of
bourbon coming up.
- So, where are we?
- What, you don't remember?
- Yes, I f*cking remember, Doug.
I just wanna know where
you're starting this time, huh?
You're always changing things on me.
You have to do that?
- Hey, you gotta keep
the shelve stocked,
Uncle Frank's orders.
- With what, broken empty bottles?
Place has been closed
how many years?
Closed? Oh, this place'll never close,
not as long as you're around
to open it up every night.
Look, we should be getting
started here, don't you think?
- Why don't we, give it a rest, huh?
I could use a break, you know.
- I can't do it.
Why not?
- Because you might forget.
- Yeah, well maybe I wanna forget.
- Well, what happened to
no regrets and no apologies?
- Okay, fine, fine,
let's just get it over with.
- All right, fair enough.
It's just after 2:00.
I'm behind the counter
wiping things down.
No, your stupid then.
Tell a better joke.
- Bobby and Cooper just showed
up about 10 minutes ago,
and they're in the
middle of a warmup game.
Mother said
no thanks to sex.
- And you're not here yet.
- Where am I?
I imagine you're headed
down the middle of Sixth Avenue
just after terrorizing that
poor guy in his caddy.
You're jumping ahead.
Sorry.
You don't get it, do you?
What about George?
We'll get to George later.
You guys need a beer?
- Several.
- Bob?
Whatever's on tap.
- Bob, one more time, slowly.
Hank's son, Wilbur,
pulls the hose out the bull's ass.
- He was too old to blow
hard enough, so he gave up.
- But see, you're missing the point.
- So, what is the point?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey.
What game are we playing?
Because that was a definite miss.
- Call it, Doug.
- Ball in hand on a miss or a scratch.
Do it on the nine, and you're gone.
- The point is Wilbur
would've rather blown
on the end of the hose
that was in the bull's ass
than the end Hank was blowing on .
- But that doesn't
make any sense at all.
- Of course not,
and that's what makes it funny.
Right.
- I never got that one either.
- Are you kidding me?
I love that f*cking joke.
- Hey, here's to good old Uncle Frank.
- He's talking about selling the place.
Oh, he's not serious, is he?
- It's been pretty f*cking slow.
- Oh, it's slow all over, baby.
Probably just the weather, huh?
- Oh, it's the whether all right,
whether you go out at
night and have a good time,
or you, uh,
got money to pay your rent.
If it wasn't for this place once a week,
I wouldn't have a nightlife.
- I don't know if I'd
call this a nightlife.
- Are you serious, man?
An an open pool table,
all the booze you can guzzle,
you can't ask for a
better deal than this.
All I got to say is
thank you Uncle Frank
and thank God it's Friday .
Mm, that's good.
- So, Dougie, how's a little woman?
- Great, she's actually
starting to feel things.
- Kicks?
- Uh, it's more like flutters.
That is cool, man.
How much longer?
- Four months.
- No shit?
Hey, it gets better.
Just wait till you start seeing
elbows and shit
moving around in there .
- But what the hell
would you know about it?
- I got a pregnant cousin.
- More like you got
a cousin pregnant.
- Hello, first off, Cooper,
we don't do cousins.
We leave that shit
to you white trash, in-breeding,
Alabama m*therf*ckers.
- It's Mississippi.
- Same thing.
- Like hell it is.
- Oh, see that proves it right there.
Proves what?
- "Like hell it is."
Only two kind of people
use that expression,
Alabamans and Mississippians .
- How 'bout the
expression suck my d*ck?
- Oh, no, my brother.
See that one, it's universal .
- Oh, God.
Hey, Doug.
Was Jerry in here tonight?
- I sent him home
about an hour ago, why?
Well, I don't think he quite made it.
- Somebody better get that boy
a cab or something, damn .
- You all right there, Jerry?
- Frank, is that you, Frank?
No, it's Doug.
- Yeah, well, this is Frank's bar.
Where's Frank?
- Frank's got the night off.
- Speaking of drunks,
anyone hurt from Nicky?
- He called earlier, said he'd be here.
- How's he doing?
- So far so good, I guess.
Says he hasn't had a drop
since the night we got into it.
- Three weeks?
Good for him.
- Don't suppose either one
of you want to gimme a hand.
Oh, yes.
- Oh, very cute, guys.
- It's a good thing he
lives across the street.
- Hold the fort down.
I'll be back in a few.
- Don't forget to kiss him goodnight.
- You know, it'll be
good to see Nicky again.
- assh*le.
- Man, he was just
f*cked up, all right?
- I get f*cked up all the time.
Don't mean I beat the
hell out of my best friend.
- What the hell do you know about it?
- You have a different
recollection of that night?
- Let's you and me get something
straight here, Doug, okay?
I may be a drunk, but I'm not senile.
I got my memories.
If I didn't-
- I wouldn't be here.
Point well taken.
But then again,
a picture's worth 1,000 words.
Humor me a minute, will ya?
Okay, it's three weeks earlier.
We're about to get
into it, and as usual,
Cooper's telling one
of his lame jokes.
- And a Wilbur looks up
and says, "Well, shit, daddy,
I ain't gonna blow on
the same end you did ."
- I don't get it.
- You wouldn't.
Oh, shit.
I must confess I am
redneck joke illiterate.
- Wait a minute.
- What?
I thought you said you
were hitting the seven.
I did.
- Yeah, so where's the five?
- I don't know.
Maybe you hit it in on the last shot.
No, I didn't hit the
f*cking five in, Doug.
I'd remember.
- Well, somebody did.
- Or, maybe it just jumped
off the f*cking table
when nobody was looking.
- That could happen.
- You calling me a f*cking liar?
- No, Nicky, but I am
calling you an assh*le.
Take your shot.
- Oh, so now I'm a f*cking assh*le
'cause I wanna know
where the five went.
Is that it?
- Look, you've had
way too much to drink.
Now, take your f*cking shot,
or I'm starting a new
game with somebody else.
Stop.
Fair enough.
Ready to take it from
where we left off?
Like I have a choice.
- How the hell you
expect me to hit that?
Very carefully .
What?
- What'd you say that guy today?
Who?
This morning at the garage.
- Oh, the brother with the Ferrari.
- Right.
Why?
Just curious.
- Sure you are.
- That assh*le comes up to
me while I'm changing his oil,
interrupts me and asks me,
do I know how to change
oil in a car like that?
- Right.
- Well, can you believe that shit?
- What'd you say to him?
- I said, "No, sir,
all I know how to work on is
VW buses and Chevy trucks,
but I always wanted to
work on the car like these."
- You said that?
- Damn straight I did.
And it must have worked
because he didn't ask me
any more dumb questions.
Damn, foam.
- f*cking assh*le,
man, I shoulda taken
his f*cking head off
right there in the street.
Unbelievable the
nerve some people got.
That's all I got to say.
What a f*cking night.
- Want a cold beer?
- Give a soda or something.
- Is Doug around?
- Ah, he's walking Jerry home.
- Hey, you want a can,
because the fountain's out?
Yeah, whatever.
- All right, there you go,
Nicky, my man.
- So, what happened?
All right, here it is.
I'm on my way over,
and I'm heading down Sixth Avenue,
and there's some traffic.
I mean it's after 2:00,
but it is Friday night,
bar rush, whatever, you know.
And I'm splitting
the lanes, no big deal
until this little cocksucker
in his '79 DeVille
opens his f*cking door.
No shit?
I hope you took it off for him.
- Ugh, I wanted to.
I wanted to take off
that f*cking door.
We're talking about a Caddy here.
I mean Toyota or Datsun,
completely different story.
So, I introduced myself.
I said, What the f*ck are you
doing with this door open?
- I was gonna check my taillight.
- In the middle of
Sixth f*cking Avenue,
and you're gonna get out
and check the g*dd*mn tail?
Middle of Sixth f*cking
Avenue on a Friday night,
he decides to check
his f*cking taillight?
- So, the guy was an assh*le.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
It gets better, all right?
After I tell him what he
can do with his taillight, I'm,
you could k*ll somebody.
Jesus.
Wake up next time.
- You f*cking hippie m*therf*cker.
If you had've stayed in
your own g*dd*mn lane,
this shit wouldn't've happened.
Get the f*ck out.
- Swear to God.
- So, what'd you do?
- Well, let's just say I familiarized him
with the ways of proper
motorcycle etiquette.
f*cking get outta
your f*cking car, bitch.
Don't f*ck with me, all right?
I still shoulda taken
his f*cking head off.
- Damn.
- Tell me that wasn't the nine.
- He wish he could.
Bye, Coop, and thanks
for warming me up.
- So, where is, uh, little man?
- George?
I don't know.
I was wondering that myself.
- He came by the
station the other day,
said he might not make it,
something 'bout a new job.
- What is he this time?
- I don't think it really
matters to George
long as he gets to wear a uniform.
- One of my personal favorites was
the Burger Ben outfit .
- Hey, no, how about
that traffic controller
for the elementary school?
- Ah, close second.
- Wasn't he a UPS
driver for about a day?
- No, two, but it wasn't that bad.
Had that in-the-army look about it .
- Could you see little
Georgie in the military?
Now, that's a scary thought.
- I don't think we have to worry.
They got height requirements.
- Yeah, you know anything's possible.
They made you my
boss at the garage.
- That's 'cause I'm white.
- Nick, uh, why don't
you take this game,
because this guy's wearing me out?
He's playing that good?
- No, man, it's just being
around him all day is wearing me out.
Jesus.
- Rack 'em,
It's root beer, alright?
- Who asked?
- So, how's Sally?
- Good, how are you?
- Going strong.
Can I get you another root beer?
- All right, anybody else?
- No, I'm fine.
- Got mine.
- Okay, let's do it.
First up.
I already called it.
- When?
- While I was walking Jerry home.
- Sounds fair.
- What about little Georgie?
He still might show.
- I'll take it for him.
- Oh, sorry, George,
looks like it's the can tonight.
- Unless he doesn't show,
then it's all yours.
- He shows, or he's a dead man.
- Look at that.
Beautiful.
It's beautiful.
- What, you been
practicing, Doug, huh?
I mean, I knew we shouldn't've
left you with the table.
- Hold the phone.
The night's still young.
Shit, I guess we could
put the phone down now .
Crash and burn.
Looks like old Nick's got the
number two spot clenched.
- Number two, are you kidding?
I could beat that now.
- Well, it won't take much.
You guys really should
get in here more often.
- All right, lagging
don't make the game.
- Yeah, but it keeps you
from cleaning the toilets.
- George, where are you?
I'll k*ll him.
Come on you, you m*therf*cker.
- Go ahead, Nick,
scare it past its mark.
- No, just blow on it.
- That's all you guys got?
Looks like I'm sweeping again.
- I'll mop.
- You're second up,
and you take the mop?
- Sure, it gives me and, uh,
Doug a chance for a quick game
while you're wiping off those tables.
- Hold on, now.
I was in on the easy third.
Ain't no way I'm
restocking that shit again.
Oh, man, restocking and the can?
Coop, looks like you're
not gonna have time
to play much pool at all tonight.
- I ain't cleaning that can.
Salvation.
- Nice uniform, George.
Wait a minute.
You mean somebody's paying
you money to protect people?
- Campus security, started tonight.
Pretty cool, huh?
It's definitely you,
George, nice colors.
Works well with your
eyes and everything.
- So, you get to tell people
what to do, enforce curfew,
um, give new students
directions, and all that shit?
It's kinda like a dream
come true for ya, huh?
- Yeah, and that's not
even the best part.
Really?
What's the best part?
- Armed security.
Somebody gave you a g*n?
- That's right.
- Get the f*ck out.
Lemme see that thing.
Nah, you had this thing made
or something, didn't you?
- No, it's official.
- Come on.
Stop pulling our dicks and
tell us the truth, George.
- You see that ID number?
That's my special code.
It's on file with the government
and all that official shit.
- So, where's the g*n?
- Out in the truck.
- Sure it is, Georgie.
- It is.
What's it doing in the truck?
I mean, what the hell good's
an armed security guard
with his g*n in the truck?
- I'm off duty.
- So, go get it.
- Nicky, I can't carry that
shit around off duty, man,
major violation.
I just want to see it, George.
It's not like I'm gonna sh**t anybody.
- I said I can't, not off duty.
I, I can get fired for
even showing it to you.
Like I want to get
fired on my first day.
- Why not?
It's happened before.
- All right, forget about it then.
Let's all get down to business
so we can get a little
nine-ball action going here.
What do you say?
Oh, you better roll
up those pretty new
sleeves, though, Georgie,
'cause you're cleaning the toilet.
- But I haven't even shot my lag yet.
- No need, Cooper shot it for you.
Gave it his best shot, too.
I tried, George, honest.
Oh, no, you don't.
I'm not cleaning the toilet
on someone else's lousy lag.
I can make my own.
- That's the truth.
He makes his own
lousy lag every week.
- And he still ends up on his
hands and knees in the john.
What's the difference?
George is right.
He should at least get his own shot.
He is here.
- Yeah, day late and a
dollar short he's here.
Look, we already handed
out cleaning duties, George.
I'm sorry you weren't around.
Look, we don't have
time for this, Dougie.
He cleans the can, or he don't play.
- Sounds fair to me.
- Rags are in the cabinet.
- All right, fine,
but I got the first game.
- No, you don't, George.
You get the last game.
See, that's the way it works.
Worst lag gets last
pick and last game.
Idiot.
- You know you really
should go easier on him.
- Ah, get the f*ck out.
- Tell me something, Doug.
You ever gonna make it
outta this place or what?
- Shit no.
I mean, I've been working
here since high school.
Might as well stay in the
same rut till the day I die.
Seems to be working for you.
- Hey, it's great to be here.
- f*ck that.
I finish up my bachelor's,
and I'm outta that
f*cking garage so fast
you won't see me wave goodbye.
- This may be a mere technicality,
but don't you have to be enrolled
in a college to get a degree?
- I'm going back.
- Since when?
- Since five years ago when
he dropped outta college
in the middle of his first semester.
- Well, excuse me for being
such a loser, Mr. Brain Surgeon.
- I thought you were a mechanic.
- Same thing.
- Missed it by that much, huh?
- You know, what I do is a skill.
So's is jacking off.
- Yeah, but I haven't figured
out how to get paid for that yet.
- Well, you be sure and let me know.
And I am going back, assh*le.
- Yeah, we believe ya,
Cooper, you lying sack of shit.
- It's weird.
- Did you lose something?
- Uh, cigarettes, coulda
swore I had a pack in here.
- There's a open
carton behind the bar.
- No, that's all right.
I got a couple packs in the car.
- It's no big deal, Bob.
Just grab a pack.
No, I drink enough of
your poor uncle's booze
every Friday night.
Besides, I gotta make
way for floor control.
- Guess that's our cue, Nick.
- Look, let's get the
evening chores out the way,
and then we can get down
to what we came here for.
- Besides, your ass is mine
tonight, Dougie boy, all mine.
- Yeah, I love it when you talk dirty.
- So, less than four
months to go, huh?
- Yeah, can you believe it?
- And it's Papa Doug.
It's gotta be some kinda high.
- It's changed my life, you know?
It's given me a reason
to get up in the morning.
It's even made it easier to
show up in this lousy hole
five nights a week.
- Jealous, Dougie, I am.
- So, do it.
- Do what?
- Cindy, ask her to marry you.
Oh, that's a f*cking joke.
- What, did something
happen between you two?
- Trust me, Dougie,
you don't even wanna know.
- All right, how long have
we known each other?
- Since the sixth grade,
and I know what you're gonna say.
What the hell happened to us, Doug,
I mean, to the people we used to be?
Man, I was so sure that
we were gonna make it
out of this f*cking town
away from all these losers,
find a way to really do something,
you know, to be somebody.
- Dreams change.
- Yeah, well mine haven't.
Just now, that's all they are, dreams.
- What's going on, Nick?
Talk to me.
- There's nothing
to talk about, Doug.
My life's a joke.
What the hell happened?
- Look, forget about it, all right?
g*dd*mn you, Cooper.
Had to spoil our f*cking
moment, didn't ya?
Gotcha.
Oh, you fucker.
Shit, that hurt.
- Oh, come on.
My hands are still
swollen from last week.
Got you pretty good, though, huh?
- Just remember, payback's
a real but bitch around here.
- Is that a challenge?
- Later.
- You're on.
Maybe George will wanna join in.
- I doubt he's got any
feeling left in either hand
as many times as he's lost.
True.
Where's Bob?
- He went out to the
car for cigarettes.
- Oh, shit
I forgot to put 'em back.
Don't tell him.
He's got a thing about that,
people getting in his shit.
- Well, then why'd you take 'em?
Because he's a f*cking thief.
I'm bumming 'em off him all the time.
Funny thing is he's
always trying to keep track.
Drives him nuts that
his count's always off.
Doug, I need some advice.
- Quit smoking.
No, f*ck the cigarettes, man.
This is some serious shit.
Something wrong?
- They fired him today.
Bob?
- Yeah.
- Well, he's taking it
pretty f*cking well, isn't he?
- That's the thing.
He doesn't know.
- You fired him,
and you didn't tell him?
- I didn't fire him.
- Well, I thought you were the man.
- The owner fired him.
- What for?
- Said he didn't like his attitude.
I think it had something
to do with this customer
that was in today.
Besides, he's never really
liked him for some reason.
- Maybe it's a Black thing.
- Who knows?
The point is-
- Look, the point is they
told you to let him go,
and you haven't done it yet.
- I keep trying.
I don't know what to say.
- How 'bout, "See ya"?
- Thanks, Nick.
- You gotta tell him, Coop.
- I know, and before he goes
in tomorrow morning, f*ck.
- It's f*cking weird, man.
I coulda swore I had a pack.
- Be right back.
- That's it.
Stock them shelves, boy,
'cause that beer stuff
is okay for a warmup,
but I need something
that's gonna put
some hair on this chest.
- They don't make
anything that strong.
- Hey, it's great to be here.
- Name your poison.
- It really doesn't matter
this early in the game,
a little whiskey, vodka,
tequila, mix and match.
Hell, I don't care.
Just gimme something
that's gonna make me forget
the troubles of this world.
- Better make it a double.
- Just go a little easy tonight, huh?
I'm not into carrying
anybody else home.
Jerry was enough.
- Just relax, Dougie boy.
As they say, there are some of those
who can handle their drink,
and then there's those who can't,
and I, my friend,
am definitely one who can .
So, tell me about your
troubles of the world.
- Oh, shit, I, I, I guess I
really can't complain.
Sure you can.
- All right, if you insist,
Nick, uh, no woman.
That's old news.
Yeah, ancient.
- And for the financial part of it,
a funnier joke you're not gonna hear.
- Speaking of jokes,
how was last Saturday night?
- Wasn't.
Never happened.
- Are you saying she
stood you up after all that?
- No, what I'm saying
is I'm trying very hard
to put this whole thing behind me.
What the hell's this?
We really don't need
to hear this story again.
It's bad enough we have to listen
to Cooper explain his jokes.
But I love Cooper's jokes,
and this is a great story.
Yes, and we both know it by heart.
Bob takes a blind date to dinner.
She orders two meals, has the
waiter wrap one of them to go,
and-
- Hold it.
Damn it, Doug,
would you wait a second?
What?
You could skip the rest,
but at least let me see the end,
makes me laugh every time.
For you, Nick, anything.
Yeah, right.
- So, did you end up
paying for all three meals?
- Oh, what kinda
question is that, Doug?
Of course, he's gonna cover it.
- Well, actually, that's
when things start to get fun.
I knew I didn't have
enough cash on me.
- No.
- What about plastic then?
- Against my code.
I never even applied.
- So, you're f*cked.
Yes, I am.
- You hit her up for the difference.
- Also against my code.
See, the only saving
grace of the evening was
I knew in advance that I was screwed.
So, I take a little trip to the facilities.
I call Cooper, have him come down
and discreetly slip
100 on the manager .
That's very smooth.
You bet your ass, Bobby.
You were one smooth m*therf*cker.
- I don't know.
If it was me, I'da asked the
woman to cough up a little.
- Ah, it's not the same, Dougie.
You're married.
I mean, it's a whole
different set of rules.
- So, did you ask her
about the extra meal?
- I had to.
- And?
- She said her
and her roommate Lorraine
always eats together,
and she knew she would
be getting hungry, okay?
No, shit.
So, when's the next date?
- No, thank you.
- Oh, come on.
Give her one more chance.
Think of them, um, titties.
- Tits or no tits, I can't afford
to feed both of them b*tches.
Nick all right?
- Hey, you mind if I
warm 'em up on a few?
I feel like getting the old kinks out.
Well, knock yourself out.
They're all yours.
- Great.
- The f*ck are you doing, George?
That's my shot.
Who the f*ck told
you to take my shot?
I, I was just,
Bobby said I could.
I, I, I was just-
- Relax, George.
I'm just f*cking with you, all right?
Somebody buy this boy a
beer or something, huh?
Everybody ready for first round?
- I got first round tonight.
Just stand back now.
You might learn something.
Go for it.
Will you be joining us, Nick?
Nah, thanks, I'm fine.
Damn right I'll join ya.
I'll drink y'all under the f*cking table.
- But what the hell
are you doing, boy?
- Trust me.
- I've done that
before and regretted it.
- What the hell kind of drink is that?
Oh, just a little something
I picked up back home.
- In that case, I think you
better wash your hands
before you start making mine.
Oh, I can't watch this.
The question is,
are you man enough to drink it?
As long as you go first.
Bottoms up.
Oh.
- Your turn.
- Get the f*ck out.
I'm not drinking that shit.
- You said mix and match.
To a point, yeah.
- Come on, Bob, it'll make you forget
about the troubles of the world.
- Of course, it will.
I'll be dead.
- But you'll die a man.
- Call me nuts.
- You're nuts.
- But I'm in.
Me too.
- Oh, I gotta see this.
- Not without downing one with us.
- Nah, no, I said I'm
not drinking that shit.
Gimme a real drink and no problem.
You got it.
You are crazy, Cooper.
- Here's to the bartender.
- And here's to
replacing the bartender.
Bottoms up.
You're fired, Cooper .
Want a beer?
- I'll take a beer.
- And I'll go for another shot.
Attaboy, George.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, be careful, man.
Just pace, okay?
Just take your time.
- Pace is for pussies.
- That's right, Cooper,
you keep drinking
these nightmare concoctions,
and we'll be taking
you out tonight in a body bag.
- But he'll die a man.
- You ready?
- Sure.
All right, somebody call it.
- Nine ball.
- No kidding?
What the f*ck else is there?
Well, let's see.
There, there's eight ball.
There's rotation.
- Chicago.
- Straight pool.
- Get the f*ck out.
- Just giving you some options.
- Look, you wanna switch to one
of them f*cking pansy games,
you can count me out.
Ain't nothing wrong with rotation .
Oh, nothing except we
don't play rotation here.
We play nine ball.
Jesus, I can't even believe
we're f*cking talking about this.
- It was a joke, all right?
- All right, I, I didn't get it.
All right, Jesus, Nick,
would you lighten
up a little here, huh?
You know, we're
supposed to be having fun.
Somebody gonna
call this thing or what?
- Same as before, a ball in
hand on a miss or a scratch.
- Do it on the nine, and you're gone.
- Best two outta three?
- That works for me.
- All right.
Someone wanna hit that overhead?
It's too f*cking bright
in here to see anything.
- Well, that makes sense.
- Shit, wait, I almost forgot.
Hold the lights a second.
You guys aren't gonna believe this.
Bob, the switch on the far right?
Yeah.
- Okay, grab onto it,
but don't hit it yet.
Right.
- Okay, now turn off all four switches.
Ooh, nice effect.
Now what?
Hit the other switch.
I hate that f*cking thing.
What the f*ck is that?
A strobe.
No shit, Cooper,
what the f*ck's it doing in here?
Are you ready for this?
It's Frank's idea to try
and boost business.
Every Tuesday and Thursday
starting next week,
he's gonna have dancing in here.
All right, all right.
Oh, yeah.
- Jesus Christ.
- Whoo, whoo.
Whoo, whoo.
The stupidest f*cking
thing I ever seen.
What the hell is that, Cooper?
That's the white man's boogie-
- All right.
- self-taught.
Turn that f*cking thing off, all right?
Hey.
- All right.
All right already.
- Turn that f*cking thing off.
All right, man.
Whoo, I'm outta shape.
- Hey, wait a minute.
- What?
- Don't you think it's a little early
for your second bottle?
- I was thirsty, all right?
- Yeah, but booze
doesn't quench your thirst.
It just keeps you wanting more.
Haven't you at least
learned that by now?
- Save the sermon, Doug.
You're not my f*cking-
- Oh, I'm not your f*cking mother.
Oh, now where have
I heard that before?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm jumping ahead
again now, aren't I?
- Just leave me alone, will ya?
- Never.
Not until you get it.
- Get what?
- Can't tell ya.
- Georgie Porgie, pudding pie,
so what's shaking, baby, huh?
So, tell me about that
amazing new job of yours.
- What's there tell you?
He rented the uniform,
paid somebody 10 bucks
for a phony ID card, huh?
- It's not a phony ID, Nicky.
- Prove it.
- Prove that it is.
- Oh, well, that's easy.
Who in their right f*cking
mind is gonna hire him
for a legit security job,
least of all involving a g*n?
- That's a point.
- I don't know.
There's a lot of crazy
people in this world.
Hey, and there's one
for the other team .
Look at this f*cking uniform, man.
This is too new looking.
It ain't the real thing.
- What, they don't make
new security guard uniforms?
- What are you busting
my chops here for, Doug?
- I just think you need to
lighten up on him a little.
- What are you, my mother?
- What?
- I said, are you my f*cking mother?
- No, Nicky, I'm not
your f*cking mother.
Pay attention.
This is important.
- And stop telling me
to f*cking lighten up.
- Whatever.
- We all can't make a living
pounding nails into boards.
- Excuse me?
- George, you don't-
- Somebody's gotta
protect all those boards.
- Down, George.
- What the f*ck have
you been smoking?
- I don't do that, Nicky.
dr*gs are for weak people.
- I see.
Are you looking
to have your head taken off?
- Nick.
- What?
- Take your shot.
Hey, it's great to be here.
- Hey, George, what do
you say we pass the time
with a game of bloody knuckles?
No.
- Come on, I'll even let you
win the first couple times.
Okay, how about slap hands?
- I'm happy just to sit here,
and watch, and wait my turn.
- No, you can't wait for the
action to come to you, George.
You gotta make it
happen for yourself.
Come on, one game.
I'll give you five misses.
- How's that work?
Simple, you get to swing at me
till you miss five times.
- That's nuts, man.
You can take a guy's hands
off before you miss five times.
- A chance I'll have to take.
- Better make his a double.
- Can I get the same deal?
- Sorry, this is a one-time only offer.
- Five misses?
In a row.
Maybe later.
Now or never George.
- I'm gonna pass.
Okay.
- 10 misses.
- Get the f*ck out.
- Take it, George.
- Okay, you're on.
Yes.
Now, you know how
this works, right?
- Sure, I swing at you
till I miss 10 times.
- Right, but only once.
After that one miss,
and it's my turn again.
And there's no stopping
or turning back once
you take that first swing.
- Right.
- I mean it.
That's the most important rule.
There's no stopping
unless they stop it.
- I got it. Can you start?
- Go for it, Georgie.
- Ow, Jesus, Cooper,
do you like pain, is that it?
- Turns me on.
Ooh, again.
- See, I tried to tell you that boy
done lost it.
- Jesus, Cooper.
- Okay, that one hurt.
- What's a matter?
You starting to feel it?
No, just switching gears.
- Time for phase two.
- Phase two.
I love this part.
- That's one.
- Shit.
- Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
That's six, George.
Four more.
- Stay f*cking still.
- Seven.
Eight.
Only two more, George.
Better relax and take your time.
- Breathe, Georgie, breathe.
Come on, Georgie.
You're almost there.
You got him shaking in his shoes.
Nine. Ten.
My turn.
Oh, you didn't, George.
- What?
- You flinched.
You know the rule about flinching.
- What rule?
- Put 'em up now.
Don't move 'em.
- What?
- Don't move your hands.
I get a free shot.
- What, are you high?
- That's the rule.
Oh, I know that rule.
I mean, he f*cked me up
many a times on that one.
- Dougie.
- He's right.
- f*ck.
- Attaboy, put 'em back up.
Put 'em up, now.
Don't move 'em.
It's still my turn.
Want another drink?
f*ck.
- f*ck me.
- Here on the table?
Or, you want we should
go in the back room?
- Ball in hand on the eight, Doug?
Nobody told me it was Christmas,
not that it's gonna do
you any good, but, uh, call a pocket.
- All right.
Three cushion, corner.
- Three cushion, corner.
All right, no problem.
- Yeah, right, maybe next time, Nick.
- Come on, I got ya, Nick.
Admit it.
No way you're gonna make that shot.
- Just watch.
What are you doing?
You don't seriously think this
is gonna change anything?
- Well, let's see.
If I remember right, I lose this game.
I take over slap hands
with Cooper over here.
He makes some crack about
Cindy, and we go from there.
How am I doing, huh?
Not bad.
- So, what happens if I don't lose?
- Something else'll set you off.
- You sure about that?
- You can't change the past, Nick.
- Weren't you watching?
I just did.
- So, you helped
yourself cheat, big deal.
- Yeah, well, we'll see.
Yes.
- f*ck, I can't believe he made that.
- Did you see that?
- Whoo.
- Did you f*cking see that?
Oh, is this my night or what?
I love this game.
Get ready to rack 'em, Bob.
- Hey, um, wait a minute,
Nick, um, nature calls again.
- Take a break, George.
It's my turn.
- It ain't over until the fat lady sings.
Ooh, you chicken?
- The fat lady just sung.
Nice game, George.
Go have a drink on me.
- Ooh.
- Can you believe it's August already?
- Speaking of time,
where the f*ck did that come from?
- I paid my rent the
other day, August.
Christmas was the
day before yesterday.
- Christmas is the 31st of July now?
When did they change it?
- Nobody told me.
- I know what you're saying, George.
Time is flying.
Ow, you fucker.
- Come on, Bob.
What the f*ck are
you doing back there?
I don't think we wanna know.
f*ck it.
- Yeah, guys, August.
Hey, guess what's
just around the corner.
- Easter?
You mean they changed that, too?
- It ain't till Monday,
but seeing that
we're all here tonight-
- Doug, shut the f*ck
up about it, all right?
- Sorry, it's too late.
Make a wish, Nick.
And then blow.
It's a lot of candles, Nicky.
Yeah, I'll clap to that.
- Hey, so how old are you really?
- Well, now that you mention it-
- Doug, I ain't fooling around here.
Thanks for the cake and all,
but just shut the f*ck
up about it, all right?
- He's 30.
- Get the f*ck out.
No kidding?
That's the end from what I hear.
- Are you playing pool,
or are you just trying to piss me off?
- Hey, I can't do a damn
thing till you miss one.
- How long you and
Cindy been together?
- I told you, there it is.
- We'll see.
- 10 years.
10 years with the same woman?
That's a long time .
- Come on, Nick.
You mean to tell us you've
been with her for 10 years,
you're turning the big 3-0,
and you still haven't made
an honest woman out of her?
What the hell's the matter with you?
Excuse me?
- I said you've been-
- No, I heard what you said.
How about I take this cue
and shove it lengthwise
up your f*cking ass?
- Let's don't make
promises you can't keep.
Oh, you want a promise?
All right, how 'bout we step outside?
'Cause I promise you
won't f*cking walk away.
- Nick.
- No, you stay
outta this, Doug.
Come on.
Let's go, come on.
Fucker.
Nick, Nick, hey.
- Let's go.
Bro, what the f*ck is wrong with you?
- Off me.
- Man, something wrong.
Man, hey, come on,
this ain't Nick, all right?
- You all right?
- Come on, look.
I didn't mean to come
off like that, all right?
- f*ck you, Nick.
- I'm trying to apologize here.
Would you give me a break?
- And I don't f*cking wanna hear it.
It's always something
with you, isn't it, Nick?
Last time, Doug was cheating.
The time before that-
- I had a bad f*cking week.
- I didn't ask.
- Fine.
No.
You wanna know what,
know what's wrong with me?
I come home last week
after a f*cking long day
of pounding nails into boards
a little earlier than usual
to find my loving girlfriend
in our bed f*cking my
construction foreman.
- Oh, my God, Nick.
- Nick, I didn't mean.
- Tom, Cindy.
No wonder you punched
out at a half day, huh, Tom?
You had something else
you were waiting to punch?
m*therf*cker's lucky they
found all the pieces in time
to keep him alive,
or on top of everything else,
I'd be up on m*rder charges.
- Nicky, do you hear me?
You're gonna k*ll him.
I swear, if you don't
shut your f*cking mouth-
- You'll what?
You'll hit me, too?
Go ahead, Nicky.
Slap, and punch,
and kick the shit outta me
if it makes you feel any better.
But hey, this way,
it's just as*ault and battery,
no more construction job,
no more girlfriend,
no money, no f*cking life,
possible, but only possible
jail time of up to five years.
But no problem 'cause,
hey, I've been on the wagon
for three weeks now,
and it really seems
to be helping me turn things around.
So, gimme another root beer.
It really seems to be doing the trick.
- Little warm for a fire, isn't it?
How can I help, Nick.
- Know any good lawyers?
You remember back in high school
when my old man kicked
me outta the house
'cause I wouldn't let him beat
the crap outta me anymore?
- Yeah, you slept in
that blue Bonneville
of yours for, like, a week
till my parents convinced
you to move in with us.
- That's where I wanna start.
- Start what?
- My life, man,
I wanna start over from there.
- What are you talking
all crazy for, Nick?
- No, didn't you ever think that?
I mean, if there was one point
that you could, you could go back to,
you could find your way,
that that was where you got lost.
- That was 13 years ago.
- You still look up to me, Doug?
- What?
- Man, everybody
used to look up to me.
- Well, sure.
I mean, you know,
people still look up to you.
I mean, shit, George is always-
- f*ck George, all right?
I'm talking about you, you and me.
And why can't we just
take off someplace,
just, just start all over again?
- That's not gonna happen, Nick.
And running away
from it isn't the answer.
Right now, life sucks,
big f*cking deal.
The important thing is
that you've already started
to turn things around.
- Yeah, right.
- What, you don't think
I know how hard it is?
I am so f*cking proud of you, man.
Don't let this shit that
happened f*ck you up.
I am your friend, and I promise
I'm gonna help you through
this no matter what it takes.
- You are my friend,
aren't you, Dougie?
- Man, till doom cracks.
- Even after, you know, what
happened, um, three weeks ago?
- That wasn't you.
That was the booze.
You got me pretty good, though.
Gotta admit that.
Almost broke my f*cking jaw.
- Yeah, well, you know, you got
a couple lucky sucker
sh*ts in yourself.
- Oh, yeah?
Come on, let's go in and,
come on, let's go inside
and sh**t some pool.
- Nine ball.
Take your shot.
You only got one, no regrets,
no f*cking apologies.
So, I scratched, what the hell?
It's funny 'cause that's the only time
I feel like I'm myself
anymore, you know, is
when I'm running the table.
I feel like I'm everywhere
all at once, you know,
like I can do no wrong.
Dougie.
- Yeah?
- Do you really want to help me out?
You just name it.
- I want a drink.
- Nick, you know how-
- No, no, no, just save the
f*cking sermon, all right?
And no, it ain't the answer,
but I just want a break
from all this m*therf*cking pain,
all right, just for tonight.
- Yeah, and what about
tomorrow night, huh,
and the night after that?
Because it's not gonna
get any better, Nick,
not until you decide
that you want it to.
- You said to name it, and I did.
- Yeah, but I'm not gonna stand here
and watch you k*ll yourself.
- You don't know what it's
like to be inside of here, Doug.
- Fine, it's your life.
Are you sure?
Bravo, what a performance.
I don't think I could ever get
tired of watching that part.
We're right back on
track now, aren't we?
- Sure, Doug, sure.
Don't think I didn't catch that.
- What?
- You gave me the bottle.
- Hey, you didn't exactly
make it easy on me.
- What, I twisted your arm?
You had to give in, huh?
- Oh, poor Nick,
still trying to change things
and still looking for
someone else to blame.
Look, let's continue, shall we?
- What for, huh?
What's the f*cking point?
We keep going over
this again and again.
It never ends, and it never changes.
- You're getting warm.
What do you say we skip ahead a bit,
finish a little early for a change.
Who knows?
Maybe we'll even have
time for a game of nine ball.
- There ain't a table.
- We'll work something out.
You ready?
- Sure, Doug, whatever.
Knock yourself out.
- All right, let's see.
It's a few hours later.
Everyone's been drinking a lot,
especially you and Coop.
You want to cue us in?
Everybody okay?
Everybody but you.
Haven't you had about enough?
Hell, no, I ain't even
seeing double yet.
- Make me one of those,
whatever the hell it is
you're drinking here.
- Sure thing, Nick.
So, tell me something, Nicky boy.
You thought about California lately?
- No, why?
- Now might be a good
time to give it a shot.
- What, you trying to get rid me?
- No, but with everything
that's happened, why not?
The weather's good this time of year.
- What, in August?
- Sure, it's nice and sunny.
- I thought it was
always sunny out there.
- I thought about moving
to California for a while.
- Get the f*ck out.
I'm serious.
- When?
- Right outta high school,
right about the same
time you started talking
about going to
California to be discovered.
- Nah, I never said discovered, Doug.
I just wanted to give it a shot.
- No shit?
You wanted to be
an actor, too, Doug?
- No, it was nothing like that.
I just wanted to go there for the sun,
and the babes, and,
and just hang out with Nick.
- Ah, why the hell
didn't you ever tell me?
- I don't know.
Maybe I was, I was just like you,
just too scared to actually
ever go through with it.
- No, I was never scared, Doug,
and you know it, all right?
Just things just always
seemed to come up.
That's all.
- So, why don't you go now?
- Why don't you?
- I'm married.
It's a whole different set of rules.
- Ah, shit, you don't wanna
go to California, Nick,
not LA anyway.
- Why not?
- He's a tit man.
Am I right?
It's a fact.
There ain't no real titties
in that whole damn town
worth putting your hands on.
I've been there, baby.
I mean, they got some amazing
f*cking women out there.
I give 'em that,
but as for bankable breasts,
you got the real McCoy out here.
You better off staying
where you live at .
- Thanks for the tip.
Keep it in your mind .
- He couldn't go even if he wanted to.
- But why is that?
- The law.
- Shut up, George.
- But it's true.
There's no way they're
gonna let someone
who's up on felony
charges out of the state,
not even if-
George.
George, come here.
Here, George, come on, boy.
George, I said get the
f*ck over here, George.
George.
Now, Georgie, there's
something you're not getting here.
See, I've had a really f*cked up week.
I'm not in a good mood,
and I've been drinking a lot,
so I don't think I'm the guy
you wanna f*ck with right now.
Now, I know I f*ck with you,
but that's different.
I can, but you can't
f*ck with me, George.
I mean, you can if
you really wanted to,
but I just don't think
it's such a good idea.
So, why don't you just go
back in your little corner over there
and throw little sharp
objects against the wall,
and stay the f*ck outta my face.
That way, you won't piss me off,
I won't hate you so much,
and nobody will get hurt, all right?
First, what do you say
you just get a broom
and sweep all this shit up, all right?
Jesus, George,
look what you made me do?
My turn to pay.
- g*dd*mn, that early-morning shift
at the garage is kicking my ass.
Can you believe I gotta be
there at 6:30 in the morning?
You know, honestly,
if it wasn't for the free booze
and the love of this game,
6:30 in the morning.
Can you believe that?
- Maybe they'll give you
the day off tomorrow.
- Nah, no chance, man.
Ain't gonna find somebody else
to come in that early in the morning.
I ain't even gonna
waste my time asking.
- Yeah, well, you might not have to.
- Nick.
- What?
Somebody's gotta tell him, Doug.
What the f*ck?
I mean, there's no sense in
losing sleep over nothing.
Am I right?
- Tell me what?
- Nothing.
Well, am I right, or am I wrong?
- You are not involved.
- Not involved?
No, of course, I'm involved.
Bob's my friend.
That makes me, well,
you are my friend, aren't you, Bob?
Honestly, I don't know what the f*ck
you talking about, Nicky.
Whatever you say, man.
- So, you're my friend?
Your my best friend in
the whole world, man .
- They fired you at work.
- Jesus Christ, Nicky.
- What?
Don't you f*ck with me
about something like that now.
Please tell me you're
f*cking with me, Nicky.
You almost had me going
there for a minute, Nicky.
Don't you do that shit to me, man.
f*cking Nicky, man .
Hey, Cooper, my man.
Everything come out all
right for you back there?
- Oh, shit, that reminds me of a joke.
- Oh, you got a joke?
I don't believe it.
- Well, it's not exactly a joke.
It is, though, sort of.
- Either it's a joke, or it's not a joke.
- Down, George.
It's something funny that happened.
So, tell us the story.
- Remember Diane?
Oh, Diane, that's a joke right there .
- Well, one night,
I was over at her place.
- So, uh, is this gonna
be a long story or what?
- And we were getting
ready to go out,
and she was in the can putting
on makeup and everything.
- Wait.
Do you call it a can
if a woman's using it?
- No.
- It's the lady's room.
- Or the powder room, man.
That's it.
- Whatever.
The point is she coulda
taken hours in there.
The f*cking house could have
burned down to the ground.
Got the picture?
We're with you, baby.
- So, I come over, and I'm
hanging out waiting for her,
and I realize I gotta take a shit.
Problem.
- No, there's no problem.
Just kick her outta the f*cking can.
- The powder room.
- All right, so kick her outta
the f*cking powder room.
- I can't.
It's against my code.
You guys and your codes.
- So, I'm thinking.
Do I go back home and take a shit
and take a chance of
missing the early show?
Or, do I drive around looking
for a gas station
that'll let me use theirs,
which can make me late?
And I could miss the show
or at least the previews.
I hate missing previews .
- So, you hold it till
you get to the theater.
- No, that's impossible at this point.
It ain't happening.
So, I'm trying to decide.
And then, I see her cat
run across the room .
And then, I get this idea.
- What idea?
- I used his.
- Get the f*ck out.
You didn't.
- You took a in the cat box?
Hell, yeah.
- Why?
- And this just wasn't any shit.
I'd been saving this up for days.
I laid a line of pipe like
you've never seen before,
and you, you'll never see again.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry I missed.
- And it fit?
- Barely.
- How did you wipe?
Hey, good question, George .
- No need.
It was all one solid piece,
perfectly formed.
Sweeped it away with a whisk broom.
Yeah, thanks for sharing.
We get the picture.
Is there a point to this shit?
Here it comes.
So, about 15 minutes later,
Diane finally comes
out of the bathroom,
and before she could say anything,
I asked her what the f*ck
that was that I was smelling?
"Gee, Diane, what the
f*ck is that smell in here?"
And she says,
"It must be the cat litter box.
I just haven't changed it."
No.
Oh, shit .
- So, I casually walk
over to the litter box,
and I say, "Jesus Christ, Diane."
What the f*ck?
You got a mountain lion living here?"
- That's f*cking brilliant.
Whoo.
- I got a joke.
- Uh, that's nice, Georgie.
- Okay.
- What the f*ck do you
think you're doing, Cooper?
- Oh, shit.
Sorry, Bob.
- Sorry?
You take one of my
cigarettes right in front of me,
right out the pack
like it ain't nothing?
- It was an accident, dude, so sue me.
I, I f*cked up.
- I guess you did.
But the question is,
how often does it happen?
It doesn't happen.
- How many cigarettes have
you accidentally ripped off
in, let's say, the last month?
- That was a one-shot deal.
I, I swear.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
I believe you.
So, where's your jacket, huh?
- What?
- Ah, nevermind, uh,
I'll just, uh, this it?
- Jesus, come on, Bob.
- Come on, what, man?
I, hold the phone.
What have we here, huh?
It's funny, isn't it, how you
think you know somebody,
and all this time,
I never knew we smoked
the same brand of cigarettes.
We even open the box the same way,
and I thought I was the
only one that did that.
I was gonna put 'em back, all right?
I forgot.
Can we get back to the game?
- Oh, yeah, sure, no problem.
Look, um, why don't you let
me light that for you, huh?
Or, maybe you want
me to put my lighter
down on the table and turn my back
so you can add that to
your collection too, huh?
- Take it easy, man.
- Nah, just get away
from me, man, huh,
you lying, thieving m*therf*cker,
before I f*ck you up for real.
- Jesus, Bob,
he didn't f*ck your sister.
It was a g*dd*mn
cigarette for Christ's sakes.
- Don't start on me, Nicky.
You almost k*lled a guy for
checking his taillight earlier.
It wasn't a cigarette.
It was a full pack.
Man, have you priced
those things lately?
I'm not made of money, man.
- Especially now.
Ain't that right, Cooper?
- f*ck me.
You're standing here crying
about a pack of smokes?
You owe me a hundred bucks.
- It was a loan.
Thank you very much,
and I appreciated it.
But where I come from,
friends don't steal from friends,
plain and simple.
- Or lie.
- Oh, shit, what?
- Withholding information and shit,
ain't that the same as lying?
- Yeah, whatever you say,
Nicky, but the point is, man-
- The point is I wasn't
f*cking with you before, Bob.
Ask your buddy Cooper here.
He'll tell ya all about it.
- You f*cking assh*le.
- Wanna f*cking go with that?
'Cause I still ain't through
with you from before.
Why do you keep interrupting?
It's just starting to get good.
I'm afraid you're not
getting the point.
- What point?
- Well, you tell me.
- Hey, all right.
I got a little outta of
control that night.
Uh, everybody did.
- Oh, I see, and is that what
you call what's coming up,
a little out of control?
- I was provoked.
- Oh, action, reaction.
- What?
- Nevermind, Nick, all right?
Have it your way,
no more interruptions.
- What's he talking about, Coop huh?
He said I lost my job.
- I was trying to find
a good time to tell ya.
I see.
Well, f*ck you, Cooper, man.
- Roger just told me today.
I'm sorry.
- You're sorry?
I'm sorry.
- I'm out of a pack of cigarettes, a job,
and any kind of self-respect
that I might have left,
and you're sorry?
Bob.
Doug, the bartender.
Why don't you buy me a drink, huh,
so I can tell you my problems,
and they can just
magically disappear?
Thanks, but tell you what.
I'll take a rain check, okay?
So, I wanna thank everyone
and all for a great evening,
and I think I just get the f*ck out.
- Come on. Don't do this.
Just finish your game,
and let me make you another drink.
- I said no, thank you, all right?
Just gimme my shirt, Doug, all right?
- Come on, you're not leaving.
And if you ever call me
Doug the bartender again,
I promise I'll piss in your
beer when you're not looking.
Name your poison.
- Tequila.
And everything's okay, fine .
But I'm not playing pool
with your sorry ass, Cooper .
- Hey, I was hoping for a little
more of a challenge anyway.
- So, rack those babies
up and get ready to lose.
- You're on.
I just need to sit down for a little bit.
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Yeah?
- This is my game.
- Really?
I didn't see your name on the list.
Where's the list?
Let me see it.
- There isn't any list,
Nicky, but this is my game.
- What, you got a hearing problem
or just a death wish, George?
- This isn't fair.
I shoulda never had
last game to begin with.
I cleaned the can.
I waited for everyone else to play.
Now, it's my turn.
- I never got to play a full game.
- It's not my fault.
You forfeited.
You let him go, Nick.
You hear me?
You let him go.
- All right, fine,
anything you say, Dougie boy.
But I ain't playing him.
I'm not wasting my f*cking time.
- How long could it take
to kick George's in
a game of nine ball?
Come on, Nick.
Come on, Nicky,
one game, you and me.
- Okay, fine, rack 'em.
Stay away from me, all right?
Just take your f*cking sh*ts
and stay the f*ck away from me.
And it's my break.
- Thought we lagged for it.
Hey, Doug, that last concoction
of yours just knocked
me out for the night.
Don't even bother calling
me a cab or nothing,
because I plan on
spending night right here.
- Can I get you anything?
- Oh, yeah, a pillow would be nice.
Oh, thanks, man.
- So what are you gonna do?
- f*ck you think I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna hit the f*cking three in.
- No, I mean about Cindy.
- Doug, will you please tell him
to shut the f*ck up and play?
- George, would you please
just shut the f*ck up and play?
- It's not my shot.
- It's not his shot, Nick.
- Hey, make me something, will ya?
What do you want?
- I don't care, anything.
Make me one of them special
f*cking froo-froo drinks
like all those preppies order.
- George?
- I'll have the same
thing Nicky's having.
- The f*ck you will, George.
- Why not?
- Why not?
'Cause that's my f*cking
drink, my special drink
that he's making for me and me only.
That's why not.
Why do you gotta be
such a f*cking pain in
the ass all the time, huh?
Can you tell me that?
- I'm just trying to fit in.
Well, you don't, all right?
You don't f*cking fit in
around here, and you never will.
So, why don't you just stop trying
so f*cking hard and
pissing everybody off?
Nick.
- Doug, just shut
the f*ck up, all right?
Just butt the f*ck out.
I mean it.
It's between me and George.
We're having a little
man-to-man talk here.
Isn't that right, George?
- Sure, Nicky.
- What are you doing?
Don't do, Jesus, George.
What the f*ck are you doing?
I'm trying to hit the three in.
- Well, you can't hit it like
that straight in like that.
What the f*ck's the matter with you?
Oh, man.
The f*ck is this?
- My last-call special.
Two of them?
- Yeah, good addition, Nick.
I'm going to the john.
- Oh, f*ck.
- Are you okay?
- I'm gonna blow some chunks, man.
- Well, you're gonna have to fight it
'cause Nicky just went back there.
- You're sh1tting me.
That's not good.
The sink, let me use the sink.
- Oh, no you don't.
I scrubbed that thing
out for half an hour
last time you lost it.
- Come on, Doug.
I'm gonna blow, man.
Shit.
Okay, focus, concentrate, don't puke.
Don't puke.
Do not puke.
You're not gonna puke.
Everything's cool.
Just don't puke.
- Hey, man, you don't look so good.
- I can't help it, Bob.
We're gonna blow.
- Hey, hey, hey,
get the hell outta here, man.
Uh, uh, first of all,
you, you steal from me,
you lie to me, you fire me.
Now, you want to puke
all over my Black ass?
Get the hell outta here.
- Shit.
What are friends for?
- Shit, oh, shit, oh, shit.
Oh, shit .
Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit.
- George, for your sake,
I hope he made it.
- There's no way I'm cleaning that up.
It's all part of the job, Georgie.
Better get that mop ready
'cause I plan on
finishing you off right now.
- But it's still my shot.
- Where's the three ball?
- I hit it in the side pocket.
The f*ck you did, George.
Where is it?
- I hit it in the side pocket,
straight in like you said, easy shot.
Now, the tough part's
gonna be the four.
- Did anybody see him
hit in the three ball?
Nobody saw you hit it in, George.
- That doesn't mean anything.
- Sure, it does.
It means, on top of being
a low-life, f*cking
pain-in-the-ass prick,
you're also a liar and a cheat.
- Nick.
- Shut up, Doug.
Shut the f*ck up before I throw you
through that f*cking wall, all right?
Now, what are we gonna
do about this, George?
I can't let you just cheat
and get away with it.
- I didn't cheat.
Don't you lie to me, George.
Don't you lie to me, man.
Don't you stand there in a $10
phony college cop's costume
and lie to me, George.
- I'm not lying.
I hit it in, straight in.
If you don't believe me, you could go-
- What?
What?
I, I can go, what, George?
- You can go f*ck yourself.
Goddammit, guys.
Shut up, shut up, okay?
This is between me and, uh,
I can go do what to myself?
- You heard me, Nicky.
I'm sick of you.
You think you're so
much better than me?
You're the loser.
You walk around here,
and you treat everybody like shit,
and then you expect
people to feel sorry for you.
No one even wants you
around here anymore.
And you wanna know why?
It's because they're tired of you.
And let me tell you something else.
The only person I ever saw
cheating around here was you.
Except I was always too
scared to say anything.
- That's good, George.
I'm glad, um, you're not
scared of me anymore.
I tell you what.
Just for being so brave,
I'll give you the first shot.
- Game's over.
- That's right, George,
no more games.
One free shot, and then it's my turn.
Leave me alone.
- Hit me, George.
I said hit me.
Come on, hit me.
- I don't want to fight you, Nicky.
- Well, it's a little f*cking
late to back out now,
don't you think, George?
You're not going home till
you hit me, just one swing.
Come on, m*therf*cker.
Hit me.
Hit me, George.
Come on, go for it.
Go for it.
Hit me, George.
Hit me so I can
f*cking k*ll you, George.
Hit me.
Come on.
Get off me.
Jesus Christ, Nick.
f*cking let me go.
Let go.
- Jesus Christ, Nicky, what the f*ck?
You coulda k*lled him,
you know that?
Is that what you wanted?
A soul wasn't enough, huh?
Gotta go that extra mile.
What the f*ck is wrong with you?
He's your friend.
Okay, Doug, it's over.
Let's, let's play one more game.
- What?
- One last game.
- Don't you think we
should go look for George?
- He'll be back.
If not, he made it home.
Coop's right.
I need something to
come down from that.
- No lie, I'm still shaking.
- I still think we
should go look for him.
- Give him 15 minutes.
If he's not back,
we'll all go find him, all right?
- All right, 15 minutes.
I'll break.
Doug, that's enough.
- You're shot, Dougie boy.
- I don't wanna see anymore, man.
I don't wanna see anymore.
- All right, one off the seven.
- That's an awful lot of real estate.
Nothing to it.
- Yeah, we'll see.
- I could do it blindfolded.
- Please, man, please.
- Wanna bet?
- Never bet last game.
It's bad luck.
- You're damn right it is.
It is.
- 10 Bucks says you miss.
- You're on.
Doug, didn't you hear me?
I've had enough, man.
Don't take that shot,
don't take that shot.
- Wait a minute.
Where's the blindfold?
- Sorry, I left it at home.
- Well, check it out, baby.
I got your blindfold for ya.
- Don't touch that strobe, man.
Jesus, get away from
that f*cking thing.
- Oh, f*ck, thanks, Bob.
- My pleasure.
- That'll do.
Come on, Doug.
Let's see that straightforward shot.
- Piece of cake.
Nicky.
- It's your break.
Very nice.
- God, I love this game.
Oh, me too.
I think it's one of the
things I miss the most,
simple cause and effect.
The sh**t hits a ball,
that ball hits another,
and the laws of physics take over.
The thing is you can only
play what's on the table
at any given moment.
- What the hell are you talking about?
- Well, you're always saying
that life is just like nine ball,
no regrets and no apologies.
- Yeah, you take your shot.
You only got one.
- How many sh*ts did
you have that night, Nick?
- What?
- How many chances did you
have to turn things around?
- Christ, I knew you couldn't
shut up and sh**t pool.
- You had 1,000 chances, Nick,
and you blew every one of them.
- Just let it go, Doug, huh?
Just let it go.
- Oh, is that what you think?
And you think I'm holding you here?
You think we enjoy going
through this night after night?
- Then, leave me the f*ck alone.
We can't.
You won't let us.
- What's it gonna take?
- You'll know.
Nick.
Who's the sh**t?
What do you say we take it
again from the same place?
Hey, it's my dad.
Hey, old man.
Did you know this
is private property?
Oh, man, the way that
looked, it gotta hurt.
Nine Ball (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3