01x17 - Domestic Agenda

[bunniefuu]

In golf, like love, the game
is all about how many strokes

it takes to get into the hole.

Golfers in both sports
feel that fewer is better.

Losing strokes in golf
can cost you money

and sometimes even friendships.

Losing strokes in love can
cost you much, much more.

Baby, you are so fun.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Ooh.

Oh.

What's that?

Is your husband coming home?

No.

You forget it.

He's out for the night.

He's on duty.

So you stay on duty.

Ooh, you got me helpless, baby.

Ooh.

Oh.

There it is again.

Lloyd.

Come on.

It's nothing.

What's behind there?

Get back with the program, baby.

Come on.

Lloyd.
Lloyd, come on.

Will you forget it?

Lloyd, come on.

Don't worry about it.

What is this?

Hey, there's a video camera.

Who's back there?

Jesus.

Lloyd. Lloyd!

Look.

This case is going
to trial tomorrow,

and my new boss is
cutting me no slack.

My career is on the line.

or :.

That's as close
as we can pin it.

This case is no dunker.

Some of the evidence that
provided the search warrant

is creaky.

The warrant could
get pitched, and we

have Shane Miller, the
ayatollah of confusion,

at the defense table.

Hung juries are his specialty.

He's probably over in
his office right now

throwing newspapers
into the bathtub

and getting them
wet so he can burn

them and set up lots of smoke.

I need precise answers.

What is wrong with you?

We have been to court
for you , times now.

Suddenly you're...
You're sweating

like a trick in a vice raid.

Now, we're going to be fine.

We are going to be fine.

Besides, I cannot
think without food.

I am so hungry, Donovan.

What?

What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with
me is no joy Roy.

I mean, who but a
thoroughgoing ass

would have a name that rhymed?

Roy Conroy.

Huh?

Don't you hate that?

I mean and nothing is
good enough for him.

I mean, it's not enough that
he's the supervising attorney,

he wants to be
district attorney.

Excellence is merely
adequate around here.

So you got a tough boss.

That's politics, but the good
old reliable sweating homicide

bull still remains the
backbone of the force,

and like any county
hump on overtime,

you got to feed us
or we malfunction.

We become physically
incompetent,

like lawyers after two drinks.

We get gas, lose
concentration, start to giggle.

You guys are funny
as Friday traffic.

Homicide.

Lorenzo.

I want to report a crime
that's about to happen.

What's your name, ma'am?

No, forget my name.

Just go to ocean park
near the carousel.

I think a m*rder is about to
happen there, and please hurry.

It may already be too late.

Donovan, give me
a couple of minutes

with my partner, all right?

Personal business.

If I'm toast, I'm taking
everybody down with me.

So what was it?

A lady on the phone
seemed kind of hysterical,

said there's going to be a
m*rder in ocean park right

now near the carousel.

Could be a joke,
but I don't know.

She seemed pretty legit.

So what do you want to do with
the Earl of toast over there?

Take him, take him.

About time he saw
one of these fall.

We could suggest raoul's.

He'll go if we buy.

Then I'll do it.

I never should have let you talk

me into leaving the squad room.

We've got too much work to do.

Hello.

Anybody hear me out there?

What the hell is this raoul's?

I mean, I never
heard of raoul's.

One of the city's
emporiums of fine cuisine.

I think that's it
right over there.

It's an amusement park.

What kind of restaurant
is in an amusement park?

Hey, you're going
to love this place, George.

So just give it a rest.

This is where we
came to eat dinner,

some two-bit tourist dive?

What is this?

Go see if maybe
raoul is sleeping over

by the children's play area.

Huh?

Sometimes when things are slow,

he'll go sleep
underneath the slide,

wait for the late night crowd.

What is this?

What are we doing here?

I lose this case, Conroy's going
to stick an apple in my mouth

and feed me to the geeks
on the fifth floor.

Give me the damn tickets.

You gotta get my old lady...

Get your hands off or I'll beat

your brains out, you dirty...

Freeze, police!

Please don't sh**t me.

I'm not in this.

Freeze!

Police officer.

- You ok, Sam?
- Yeah.

I'm ok.

Commander stonewell.

Get these cuffs off me.

Now!

Yes... yes, sir.

I'll... I'll be right back.

Sam, take the way...
The the way out.

Lean back.

Oh.

We'll try that.

I know it looks like it
hell, but it's just a graze.

I took him down.

You should go see who he is.

I already checked.

You put a round in commander
John stonewell, Sam.

Last time I checked, he was
number two on the board.

Jeez, he just fired at us.

He did even identify himself.

I know.

I know.

We're standing on
a claim w*r here.

Put pressure right there.

Ok.

I'll call the paramedics and
internal affairs, all right?

Yeah.

Hey, get these cuffs off me.

Who's that guy you shot?

He was a drug dealer.

Why don't you go find
out what happened to him.

I... I ran past him
and put two in his back.

He's dead.

You robbery homicide on him.

Is it Lawrence?

Lorenzo, sir.

What did they teach
you when you, uh, you're

in a firing situation to i...

Identify yourself
as a police officer.

I did, sir.

So did my partner.

You just came in sh**ting.

This is going to go
down very hard, Lorenzo.

I was trying to
make an arrest here.

You messed up.

Now, why don't
you just go back...

Back with that perp
until ia arrives, huh?

Get outta here.

Saturday night special.

Polo shirt, saddle shoes,
country club haircut.

Don't look much like a drug
dealer to me, Johnny boy.

Well, you're lucky
commanders don't

have to get g*n checks twice
a year like the rest of us.

It was low and outside.

John stonewell.

If my memory serves
me correctly,

didn't they used to...

Ah... call him
slaughterhouse John

when he was on the streets?

Yeah, he was pretty basic
before he got into command.

Hm.

I think my putting a
cap in his shoulder's

going to inhibit my
career opportunities?

Oh, gee.

I don't think so, Sam.

He'll probably say
accidents happen,

recognizes an
unavoidable mistake,

move on and close ranks, steal
blue line, something like that.

Yeah, something like that.

You know, you're
both going to be up

before a sh**ting review board.

Normally, I'd sit on that
board, but I'm removing

myself for obvious reasons.

And for the record, I was
making an undercover drug buy,

controlling the situation
when you two blundered in

without identifying
yourselves and suddenly

it's world w*r III, huh?

With all due respect, sir,
you turned and fired at us

after we identified ourselves.

Your captain is
waiting for you downtown.

I want you to file all
your statements by tonight

and have them on my
desk in the morning.

By the way, what the hell
were you two doing down there

in the middle of night anyway?

We got a call from
an anonymous source

saying there was going to
be a k*lling in the park.

We were checking it out.

Well, then there is a
record of the call, huh?

All calls that come
in are recorded, sir.

I'm sure it's on tape.

I know.

We've got a career-ending
whodunit on our hands,

and our commander is
shuffling cow chips.

This is starting to burn.

Here, hold this, Sam.

Let me get you in a chair.

What?

Yeah.

Oh, this is so sweet of you.

This is the best part of my job.

Oh, ah.

Be careful.

Ok.

Here's what we got.

Commander John stonewell says
he was sitting in the bar

after having gone fishing alone.

He, dressed in civilian clothes.

Then the dead man, still
John Doe, came up to him

and tried to sell him cocaine.

And since he,
stonewell, is a cop,

he made an appointment
to meet the guy

in the park for the buy.

But the guy pulled a g*n,
apparently a burn job.

Then he, stonewell, says you two
showed up and started sh**ting.

Skipper, we identified
ourselves as police officers.

And stonewell turned around
and started firing at us.

I don't have to tell
you this rates real low

on the palm beach
advancement scale.

With any luck, you two could
probably end up working

parking lots, sporting events.

Look.

He turned and shot at us first.

Now, Donovan was a witness.

He saw it.

Ia is taking Donovan's
statement right now.

We found the guy's car.

It's a rental from,
um, beach rentals.

We'll have an ID on
him pretty quick.

Look, captain.

I know that this
seems a little sticky,

but we got a phone call.

It was recorded.

That's why we were there.

I checked that.

It doesn't exist.

There's no phone call on tape.

We're going down
a rabbit hole, Sam.

It's gotta exist.

Donovan witnessed the call.

Except for you told
him it was personal.

So what?

It came in.

He witnessed it.

Donovan will testify
that I received

a call before going the park.

Yeah.

Mm-hm.

Thanks.

The John Doe's name
is Lloyd ashmore.

What makes this
especially interesting

is that he's with the
Tallahassee police commission.

He's a civilian
police regulator.

You hung in there, George.

And I like it when my
guys are stand-up players.

Well, sir, uh, once
the sh**ting started,

there really wasn't
much else I could do.

Commander stonewell
had it under control.

Funny.

I was just about to
try and tackle him,

and then I recognized
him and pulled back.

Of course, uh, Lance and
Lorenzo were out there

sh**ting up the place.

Lead was flying.

It was pretty damn exhilarating.

I bet.

But now we've got a problem.

And I'm looking for you to
get that problem to drop.

Can you do that for me, George?

Well, uh, you mean,
uh, because the perp

that commander stonewell
shot is on the Tallahassee

police commission.

Is that what you're
referring to?

Look, George.

We got two, maybe
three problems here.

Problem one, it
is not going to go

down easy that we
shot our sister city's

police commissioner.

Problem two, we've got the
sworn statement of our patrol

division commander
that he was making

an undercover drug buy when the
victim was tragically expunged.

The third problem is
we got no flexibility.

Everybody's positioned.

And we can't make this thing
fall if too many people

are leaning up against it.
- Right.

Right.

I was, uh, just thinking
about that myself.

So we need to start by assigning

the right homicide team.

We need somebody
who's going to look

at this from the right
angle, if you get my meaning.

Lance and Lorenzo are
already on the case, sir.

I think they already left
for Tallahassee to talk

with the family of Mr. Ashmore.
- Yeah.

I just don't think Lance
and Lorenzo are the team

players we're looking for.

We need somebody who can grasp
the delicacy of the situation.

I'm not saying we rig it,
but nobody comes out if this

ends up the way it's looking.

We need cooperation up and
down the line or this case

won't fall.

So now, how do we get it
to fall so you don't get

crushed and lose your career?

Me, sir?

We need irrefutable
evidence that Lloyd ashmore

has a secret drug problem.

Can't buy his dr*gs
up in Tallahassee

because of who he is.

So he sh**t down here, and he
makes a connection in our park,

only he hits on the
wrong guy, and he

gets tragically expunged.

Got, we feel horrible,
but what can we do?

It's a sad ending
to a sad old story.

We book it, George,
and we move on.

But according to commander
stonewell's sworn statement,

he offered to sell
dr*gs, not buy them.

Come on.

Get the big picture here.

The man was selling
dr*gs to support a habit.

Come on.

Be the guy I know you can be.

Don't take gas.

So thanks for coming, George.

And remember, play team ball.

Let me know how it's going.

Look.

I don't want to
appear naive, Chris,

but it occurs to me that the
people who live in these houses

probably don't need to
sell dr*gs in our park

to support their habit.

You got that right.

I realize this is difficult, Ms.
Ashmore, but we have a couple

questions we'd like to ask you.

Except I think if you ask
any questions, sergeant,

you can ask me.

I'm captain range with the
Tallahassee police department.

Except this is a
palm beach m*rder.

Except you got a
strange story down there.

You're saying Mr. Lloyd ashmore
was using dr*gs, selling them

in the park, died in a
sh**t with a mail-order g*n

in his hand.

Now, far be it from me to
say your patrol commander is

a lying trigger-happy
pus-filled maggot,

but I certainly have
a few polite questions

about his story.
- So do we.

That's why we're here.

Are those his
g*ns, miss ashmore?

Yeah, he was a target champion.

He really knew g*ns.

So naturally, when he went to
palm beach on his drug run,

instead of taking his
hand-balanced heckler and koch

-shot -millimeter
with an adjustable sight,

he preferred to
pack a trusted $

Saturday night special that
would blow up in his face.

I understand this
is difficult, but is

the sarcasm really necessary?

Why don't we just
let the truth come out.

I'm sure once you
find out the truth,

you'll know daddy had
nothing to do with this.

So you going to play
or you going to block?

Hm?

Let's find out where
everybody stands.

- I guess I'll play.
- Good.

All right.

In that case, do you mind if
we take a look at his bedroom?

No, but I'd rather
just wait right here.

Rita.

Captain Raines,
will you witness this?

We're going to open
a sealed envelope.

Well, well.

What do you know?

It's the "southern
Florida golfing digest."

You ready?

Yeah.

.

What are you doing?

See, if you read
a magazine or a book

and you fold back one of the
pages, it scores the spine.

Every time you drop it, page .

It goes back to the same spot.

Well, maybe we got a
swinger on our hands.

Maybe this'll help
shed a little light.

Listen to this...

White female, clean, discreet
seeks well-endowed male

for what comes naturally.

Nudism, exhibitionism,
and oral delights.

Am clean.

You be too.

Can travel outside palm beach.

Will try anything once.

Hm.

I wonder if that
includes carpools.

You know what?

We should split up.

Who gets these porn stars and
who gets command stonewell?

Well, I think that we should
definitely invoke club rules.

Nothing doing, hoss.

I would not sacrifice
you to these meat-eaters.

You would get mauled.

Whoa.

I sure hope you sell
vacuums that hum and suck.

Interesting opening
remark, Mrs. Stonewell.

I'm sergeant Lorenzo.
I need some information.

Well, we can start
with information and move

towards something that
feels a little better.

Lady, give it a rest, ok?

Come on, sergeant.

Where's your sense of humor?

Learn to sing and
dance a little.

I'm going to talk to
you about your husband's

whereabouts on the night
of Lloyd ashmore's m*rder.

Didn't know I'd need a banjo.

No.

You don't need a banjo.

But you do need
the right mindset.

Come on in.

It's ok.

Come on.

I just got out of the shower.

Excuse me, but can we do
this in your living room?

No.

I mean, not unless you want
to wait until tomorrow.

I, uh, already told you
I'm late for a luncheon.

Ok, sergeant.

Which one do you like best?

Purple or the pink?

Miss stonewell, it's
not going to happen, ok?

Your husband's my superior.

I'm investigating the death
of an important Tallahassee

official.

Now, if you think I'm going
to play around with you,

you got better dope than most.

There is this game I
just love to play but only

with reluctant gentlemen.

It's called how
long can you last?

I can last a long time.

Mm.

You're a very beautiful woman.

You shouldn't have to
try this hard, you know?

Desperation isn't
a good aphrodisiac.

I'm not desperate, sergeant.

I'm horny.

They're not even in
the same category.

What's the matter, sergeant?

You afraid?

Don't be.

I'm not dangerous.

I beg to disagree.

Being a detective,
I couldn't help

but notice the b*llet hole over
your bed when I came in here.

Oh, that.

My husband did that
cleaning his g*n.

His metal one.

He told me that he went
fishing on Wednesday night.

Mm-hm.

I can confirm that.

He always leave you alone with
your motor running that fast?

John and I have an agreement.

You see, I don't mess with
his toys, and he lets me play.

And sometimes it just all comes
together in one glorious pile

of love and friendship.

You're playing
Russian roulette, lady.

No, no, no.

I know how to play
and protect myself.

Come on, sergeant.

Come on.

No.

No, don't.

Not right now.

Shame, shame, Jackie.

You are such a tramp.

Hey, what are you doing here?

It's the stonewell residence.

But you're going to
want to get sh*ts

before you meet Mrs. Stonewell.

Stonewell?

This is my best bet for
the swingers magazine.

I got the address from
the post office box.

I don't like where
this is going, Sam.

Mrs. Stonewell advertises
for studs, right?

Lloyd ashmore answers the
ad, and then Mr. Stonewell

kills him and plants the g*n?

Bang.

We've got love, sex,
jealousy, m*rder.

Now, all we need is
a good screenwriter.

We can retire.

Yeah.

This is going to unwind badly.

Yeah, I know.

Let's go figure out
where we want to be when

the balloon goes up, all right?

Come on, hop-along.

I'll buy you lunch at raoul's.

What a guy.

When you stop to think about it,

politics is a lot like golf.

All strokes count,
winning is everything,

and your outfit
is very important.

But this political golf
course was getting dangerous.

Donovan was in the rough,
Sam and I were in the sand,

and hutch was in deep water.

And the new airbag in the
da's office, Roy Conroy,

was preparing any available
virgin for sacrifice,

except for our
patrol commander, who

was making out better than a
waterbed salesman in a singles

bar.

But the system is all we
have, and Chris and I were

determined to stick with it.

We had faith that it
would treat us fairly.

District attorney's
office requests

that Lorenzo and Lance
be relieved of duty

and suspended until
further review.

Oh, is that right?

They lied under oath.

They testified that they took
a telephone call that led

to they're going to the park.

No record of such a call exists.

Well, that's because commander
stonewell removed the tape.

We don't want to say that
just yet, without proof

it's an unfortunate allegation.

To hell with that.

Everybody knows that
this is the hot grounder,

and whoever fields it is
looking at an early retirement.

Right now, we got it.

But I'll be damned if I'm going
to stand by while evidence

disappears, and I'm accused
of lying by superiors whose

own actions are questionable.

I couldn't have said
it better myself, Sam.

Donovan, you were there.
All right?

Step up.
You heard the phone call.

Tell him.

Tell him what?

Did I or did I
not receive a phone

call last night while we were
working on your for trial?

Yeah, George.

The truth counts.

We're team players.

I tell you, it seems
like the phone was ringing.

I mean, it seems like...

I mean, i... I couldn't
swear to any of this, but...

Come on, George.

Hang in there for us.

I tell you, Mr. Conroy.

Uh, well, I mean, I couldn't
swear to the exact time,

but uh, well, the phone...

I mean, there was
definite sporadic

incoming telephonic uh traffic.

And as far as I
could ascertain...

Oh, this is ridiculous.

I want Lorenzo and
Lance off the case.

That's what we need.

He shot my partner.

He put a hole in her thigh.

He shot at us
after we identified

ourselves as police officers.

And unless we lie, he's going
to put Rita in for bad sh**ting.

And then I'm going
to put him in.

- Hey, well...
- You got that, Roy?

- You're not putting anybody in.
- Hey!

- Would you step back, please.
- Hey, you two.

You two.

Why don't we all just back off
and give this thing some air.

Now, as far as your
request is concerned,

I'm not going to reassign these
two officers without cause.

If commander stonewell wants
to press a bad sh**ting

against detective
Lance, detective Lance

will face those charges
when they're filed.

But my detectives will
not be reassigned.

Next question.

There is no next question.

We go to the
departmental infighting.

Get a helmet, captain.

You take your best shot.

Get out of my office.

George.

Donovan.

Better than you did in
the park the other night.

Look.

I got no room to maneuver.

This guy could bust my career.

I suppose the next thing you'll

tell me is that stonewell's
wife is sleeping with the mayor?

Actually, we think she was
sleeping with Lloyd ashmore.

That's why stonewell shot him.

It's fun case, isn't it?

No, it sucks.

The only reason you two
are still on this case

is because I don't want some guy
with tight underwear pushing me

around.

Now, you get out of my office.

Thanks anyway, captain.

It was a guts ball move.

We gotta think fast, all right?

Now, stonewell k*lled Lloyd
ashmore for reasons relating

to his wife's sexual needs.

Got a b*llet hole
in the bedroom.

Right.

I say we go back there
and have a look around

well, we can never get a warrant

to search the stonewell house.

I see Conroy signing
that piece of paper right

after our execution documents.

So we go in without one.

What?

You mean a black-bag job?

Yeah.

- Christopher, you cad.
- Come on.

It'll be fun.

We'll uh... we'll wear
matching outfits.

Look, maybe they'll
have a trapeze.

We can do a couple of triple
somersaults, a flying wallenda.

We gotta to make sure that
they're outta there, though.

What's tonight?

Tonight's Wednesday night.

District commanders
meet on Wednesday night.

All we gotta do is lure
Jackie outta there.

And the last time
I was over there,

she showed a little
interest in me, I think.

Let's do it, Sam.

Let's go.

Hello.

Yeah, Mrs. Stonewell,

this is Chris Lorenzo.

I need to see you.

You do?

I was thinking
about what you said,

and I thought maybe
we could explore

some of the possibilities.

You did?

I see.

Uh, how would you arrange that?

Well, I thought we could

meet at the electric clock.

It's a bar on the
outside of town.

I'm working tonight, but I can
meet you there around :.

It's a date.

Ok.

Ooh.

Good thing you're
not going to show up.

You would have had
your hands full.

That woman would leave skid
marks on your libido, Sam.

You better let aunt Rita
pick the competition.

Come on, let's go.

There's got to be a
board code someplace.

Let's find it.

I found it.

.

Yeah.

Yeah, sorry about that.

We tripped it off by mistake.

Stonewell.

Commander John stonewell.

.

There's a purple one in there
that would be k*ller on you.

I won't even ask
you how you know that.

The slug is gone.

Right there.

Hey, Rita.

We got some kind of
b*llet hole here.

b*llet must have come
from behind the wall.

There's gotta be some
kind of room back here.

Let's find a way in.

Get a load of this.

These cassette
boxes are all empty.

So he sits back here,
and he videotapes

his wife while she golfs
with guys from swing world.

So maybe Lloyd ashmore figured
out he was starring in a video,

and he got mad.

Let's say that Lloyd ashmore
doesn't like being taped.

All right?

Things go sideways.

Now we've got motive,
we got method,

and all we need is a
little bit of evidence.

Come on.

Let's get out of here.

My other alarm is ringing.

Let's get the hell
out of here, Sam.

Hey, what are you
two doing in my house?

Lorenzo.
Lance.

Come here.

It's over!

Oh.

Oh.

Ooh.

Hold it.

Ooh.

Mark Templeton.

Mayor's coastal commission,
the no growth guy.

He was growing pretty good
on the tape, wasn't he, John?

Boy, I tell you.

We got, uh, politicians,
city managers.

John, your wife gives
new meaning to the idea

of raising a political point.

But still, pretty good motive
for you k*lling Lloyd ashmore.

Roy, I got nothing
against these people.

I made the tapes.

So what?

You uh, you hide in your
little closet with your VCR

and you've gone off
these masterpieces?

For what reason?

We like to watch
them afterwards.

It uh, turns us both on.

My wife, she has this
insatiable sexual appetite.

I... I simply can't satisfy her.

I see.

Well, why'd you bring them here?

Well, I've seen
you operate, Roy.

I mean, you ride hard,
kick up a lot of dust,

don't leave many
Indians behind to talk.

It occurred to me that,
uh, this box of tapes

with influential men in
compromised situations

might prove useful when
the, uh, district attorney

elections come up.

Blackmail my way into office.

No, let... let's just
say that, uh, leverage

like this couldn't hurt.

I mean, Don hanford's in there.

Isn't he your principal rival?

I think that, uh,
a copy of that tape

would convince him to
sit out the race, huh?

In return for what?

You close the investigation
on Lloyd ashmore's death.

You Bury it.

You get Lorenzo and
Lance off the payroll,

and you guarantee it goes down
as a drug-related sh**ting,

just like I said it was.

What if I decide
to just take the tape

and tell you to
catch the next bus?

Not a good idea.

No, not a good idea.

Well, listen, John.

So why did you k*ll him?

I mean, you're not
overcome with jealousy.

He found out I was taping him.

He got crazy, you know?

Said he was going to uh,
call the authorities unless I

give him back the tape.

So I met him in the park.

Things, they got
a little froggy.

That's all.

There's a profound lesson here.

All access leads to disaster.

Listen.

You know what I thought it was?

I thought it was all
lawyers could be bought.

Chris Lorenzo: Stonewell.

Commander John stonewell.

.

They broke into
stonewell's house.

They searched his
premises without a warrant

and they left.

He saw them as he
was coming home.

I don't like you, Conroy.

Oh, what a shame, and I was
so hoping for a sleepover.

What do you want?

Jack these hoodlums up and deal

them off to internal affairs.

Really.

Oh, you got no choice,
no choice at all.

They went off the road, and they
violated the first commandment.

Which is?

Thou shalt not break
into thy neighbor's house

and go through his
underwear without a warrant.

- A
- penalty stroke in golf

generally occurs when the
ball goes so far out of play,

it can't be retrieved.

One look at hutch's face,
and I knew our ball was dust.

Chris was, as usual, a
little more optimistic.

What, you outta your minds?

What are you thinking about?

Get outta my office.

Leave your badge and your
g*n with the night commander.

Now get outta here.

I can't believe this.

I mean, what am
I supposed to do?

Teach school?

Get a job in a boutique?

Cannot get a straight job, Sam.

I am a cop.

Yeah, you'd be a good
school teacher, Sam.

You're not even listening to me.

You know what's with
the fly in the cupcake?

Yeah, the Saturday
night special.

Bingo.

He would never
own a g*n like that,

not with that collection
of armor-piercing hand

cannons he's got in his den.

That g*n had to be a
throw-down stonewell planted.

So we trace that g*n
back to stonewell.

That's how we get outta this.

You and I, we start
screwing around with this g*n,

the only thing that's
going to happen

is we're going to
get buried deeper.

And oh, honey.

This one is way too
short, and I can see

my underwear through the back.

So you get up off
your lazy butt,

and you go get me
the silver lam with

the spaghetti straps in a .

You're a maniac.

But you're right.

Absolutely.

Let's go.

There.

There's the g*n.

I'm not letting it
out of my sight.

I checked it out.

I got to put it back.

It's still evidence.

Thanks for helping us, George.

Just for the record,
I am not helping you.

I got a piece of evidence
in a case I'm involved

with out of the evidence room.

You happen to be
holding it while I look

in my pockets to see
if I have enough money

to buy Lorraine dinner.

But I'm taking it
back and rebooking it.

And in my opinion, does
not constitute help,

because I would never
help suspended officers

under internal investigation.

When you have dinner with
Lorraine, you rebook that.

I want you to run the
numbers through the computer.

See if the g*n has a pedigree.

Really.

And why would I be
doing that, Lorenzo?

Because George, underneath
that bureaucratic exterior

rests the heart of
a pretty decent guy.

And you know Lloyd ashmore
wasn't out there buying

or selling narcotics, and
you know that that g*n was

a throw-down, plus
you hate seeing Chris

and I running through
hell in gasoline shorts.

I do, huh?

Yeah, you do.

It offends your
eastern upbringing,

your sense of right and
wrong and your commitment

to civic duty.

And you want to see this
end right, don't you?

With no-joy Roy looking like
the limbo dancer that he is.

And all this comes
from helping us.

Look, uh, where
are you going to be?

This may take an hour or two.

We'll be at the
Billy club learning

how to be boutique salespeople.

See ya, George.

Next you know, I'll be filing
writs for Charlie manson.

Hey, Alan.

Alan, what's this
all about, huh?

I got a message you
found some dry rot

in the boat or something?

I didn't call
you, Mr. Stonewell.

I called.

I got to get back to that
Bertram, Mr. Stonewall.

Yeah, you do that.

See, I don't want to have any
conversations with you, though.

Oh, I think you do,
commander stonewell.

You k*lled Lloyd ashmore because
he was going to expose you

and your wife for what you were
doing, taping her sex acts.

But you can't prove
that, sweetheart.

In the meantime,
you've got an internal

affairs investigation
on you that ought

to keep you busy for a while.

Except we ran a trace
on the g*n you dropped.

It was used three years ago in
a bayside liquor store robbery.

You were the primary detective.

It was supposedly miss-logged
in the evidence room.

Never did make it to court.

Case went down
without it anyway.

You kept it for a throw-down,
and I think it'll put you

away for first-degree m*rder.

See, you lured
him into the park,

telling him you'd give
him back the tape.

And then you dumped
him not knowing

that he was a political
appointee from Tallahassee.

This little Saturday night
special's the one thing

that didn't fit the profile.

Hold it, commander.

What?

You don't think I'll use it?

Remember the last
time I had it out I

put a hole in your shoulder.

I ain't going down for this.

Either you take me
down now or I'm going

to try to take both of you.

Either way, you see, it
don't matter to me anymore.

But it is going to
happen right now.

If I were you, I'd drop it.

I'll be damned.

He tried to k*ll you.

Yeah.

Remember that for
your statement.

Oh.

Right in the butt.

You ok, Sam?

- Right in the butt.
- You got...

Oh, man.

I'm never going to be
able to live this down.

Please, Sam, don't tell
anybody about this.

I won't.
I won't.

I won't.
I promise.

I promise.
You're my partner.

- Ah.
- Watch your butt.

I don't... I don't talk about it.

Oh, man.

Ow.

In a bit of surprising news,

senior prosecuting
attorney Roy Conroy

announced that he
intends to make

a run for district attorney.

What makes this
doubly surprising

is the simultaneous
announcement from Don hanford

that he will not seek the job.

Conroy seems to have
bipartisan support.

Everybody from slow
growth conservatives

to large land developers.

This kind of broad-based appeal
he would seem to be a shoe in.

Diane Newman for
eyewitness news.

It's like, uh, my aquarium...

Slimy moss at the bottom
always seems to grow faster.

Yeah.
Sleeze.

Somehow he ended up
with those videotapes.

He's used them to
turn the big wigs...

I mean, how do you
get the slow growth

people and the big developers
both to support you?

Oh.

You have Mrs. Stonewell
doing her stuff on videotape,

and that is how
you spell relief.

I'm depressed.
I am to go cheer myself up.

You know, uh, you
two escaped this one

by the narrowest of margins.

Ia is going to drop the
charges against you.

But if you and Rita ever
pull a black bag job again,

you're gone.

You understand me?

That is, unless of course
you ask for it, right hutch?

Yeah.

That's a... absolutely.

That's different.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Anyway, so then Chris,
he dives to his right,

exposing the cutest
part of his little tush,

and then stonewell,
he drills it.

He puts a copper
jacket right in there,

left side, neat as you please.

It was great.

Nice cap.

Hey, we're back.

- How you guys doing?
- Good.

No time without pay.

You tell them where I
caught it, I'm saying thigh.

You're saying thigh, right?
- Oh, yeah.

Absolutely.
Yeah.

How come they're
smiling at me, Sam?

They're looking at me like
they know I got butt shot.

Well, I think they're
glad to see you, Sam.

I mean, I think that's
why they're smiling.

They're glad to see ya.
- Hey, Chris.

Show us your scar.
- Yeah, Chris.

Show us.

You told 'em.