16x24 - Laying The Ghost

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss

♪ When my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

Morning!

HONKS HORN

Oi! Stop!

Are you all right, son?

She's been nowt but trouble since the moment she moved in.

♪ Got a good reason

♪ For taking the easy way out, now

♪ Got a good reason... ♪

SIGHS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Morning. Are you all right?

Yeah.

♪ It took me so long to find out

♪ But I found out ♪

So, what was the rush?

Mr Kirby says she always drives like that.

Yeah, well, he can't stand her.

From what I hear, nobody can.

JOYCE: Ah, Mr Scripps!

I've brought you a poster for my bring and buy sale to put up.

Ooh, goodness me, whatever's happened?

David got knocked off his bike.

Oh, was he hurt?

No, but he might easily have been. And guess who did it?

That new lady up at Hill Cottage.

- And she didn't even stop. - She's peculiar, ain't she?

She hardly goes out, doesn't speak to anybody.

Maybe she's a celebrity, a famous film star.

Come on, Rosemary, she's probably just a bit shy.

That's right, Mr Scripps.

New to the village, just needs to get to know people, that's all.

Mrs Jowett, we've tried being friendly,

she's just not interested. - Oh, right.

I'll ask her to help at the sale, that might help break the ice.

Which reminds me, Mrs Armstrong--

- Sorry, I can't stop. - About the sale...

I've put you on jumble.

- Me? - That's right.

- Right up your street, I thought. - Yes. But--

I knew you'd say yes.

Morning.

My word, Rob, I'm impressed.

- You got in. - Yep.

Out of all those candidates. Well done.

When do you start?

Well, I uh... I haven't got back to them yet, actually.

- Not having any doubts, are you? - Well...

This is a place on a special course.

It's a fantastic opportunity.

- I know, but... - But what?

Well, am I up to it for a start?

What do you mean, are you up to it?

You passed the exam, you got through the interview.

Yeah.

Look, the thing is, Oscar,

this job in Aidensfield is all I've ever wanted.

Working with the people I grew up with.

I mean, I love it, I really do.

- So, why move on? - Promotion. You're on the ladder.

A sergeant straight after the course,

an inspector in a few years' time.

You're on the fast track,

something that didn't exist in my day.

I know. I know. It's just... I keep thinking about the others.

Alf, Geoff, Phil. Phil especially.

They're my mates. It seems, I don't know...

disloyal somehow.

There's another reason for all this nonsense, isn't there?

No.

Oh, aye?

Blonde hair, blue eyes.

Known to us all as the district nurse.

♪ Rumours, gossip, words untrue

♪ Can't take me away from you

♪ I trust in you baby and I'm never gonna let you down

♪ After all is said and done

♪ You know I'm gonna be around ♪

DOGS BARKING

BELL RINGS

BABY CRYING

DOGS BARKING

- David. - Auntie.

You know that camera you found?

- The one I won that prize with? - Yeah, that's right, lovey.

Can I borrow it?

That is not going on our jumble stall.

We won't be running a jumble stall,

we're going to run a stall of our own.

I thought Mrs Jowett said--

I don't care what that old bat said. We are going to sell pictures.

Pictures?

Yes. Photographs.

Like these.

David Bailey.

It's that photographer bloke!

He earns a fortune.

And if he can, so can we.

Albeit on a smaller scale.

Hang on, that...that's Twiglet.

Twiggy, David.

We're never gonna get her, are we?

Well, of course not we're not.

I am talking landscapes.

We've still got all them development trays and what-not, I take it?

- Well, yeah, somewhere, but-- - Good.

I shall take the pictures, with my artistic flair

and you can develop them

and stick 'em in them old frames in the garage.

Framed studies of local sights.

I can see 'em now. Could bring us in a nice bob or two.

I thought all the money had to go to the Aidensfield Toddler Group.

Of course it is, David.

After we've taken out our costs.

Hey, have you heard off Bramshill yet, Rob?

No.

TELEPHONE RINGING

Ashfordly Police Station. Oh, hello, Mr Kirby.

What's the problem today?

Right. Leave it to me, then.

Er, Mr Kirby again, Rob.

He's still got a problem with that woman opposite.

- Where's he gone? - Miller's office.

He seems in a funny mood at the minute.

Must be the strain of waiting for the results.

BELL TOLLING

I think it's a really good idea, Peggy.

I'd buy a nice moorland scene any day.

You've got to get it right, though.

The thing about a good photo is the composition.

Yes, I know.

What you've got to do is get your fingers like this and make a square.

Right? Then you frame your scene through it,

and you move it round like that till you get a nice picture.

That's what Jack used to always say.

Yes.

And you need a focal point, something that draws you in.

- I know. - And don't make it too symmetrical.

Don't want a tree on that side, a tree on that side.

Thank you, Gina. I think I'll manage.

Oh, Mrs Jowett. About that jumble stall...

I've a question for you, Nurse Cassidy.

I've just discovered Miss Elliot's got a baby.

- A baby? - Definitely.

I've just heard it, and the thing is, she's out.

Now, that's illegal, isn't it? Leaving a child on its own?

It would be, yeah, if she had one.

I don't think she has, Mrs Jowett. She told me she lived on her own.

It's probably just the dog whining.

Excuse me, Mr Blaketon,

I do know the difference between a dog and a baby.

PEGGY: Tell you what,

I've got to go and see about our David's bike.

I'll ask her.

Well, well. There's a feather in your cap, Walker.

I haven't told the others yet

and I'd rather not for the time being,

just while I think things over. - Very well.

Although what there is to think over, I can't imagine.

- Well, it'd be a big change, sarge. - Indeed.

And for us too.

We'll be sorry to lose you.

And would we get a replacement, I wonder?

Sarge?

Don't forget you own the police house.

Once you're gone, it's gone.

It might just be the excuse HQ need to scrap the position.

♪ Running to and fro hardworking at the mill

♪ Never fail at the mail yeah, he come a rotten bill

♪ Too much monkey business

♪ Too much monkey business

♪ Too much monkey business

♪ For me to be involved with you

♪ Salesman talking to me tryin' to run me up a creek

♪ Says you can buy it, go on try it you can pay me next week

♪ Too much monkey business

♪ Too much monkey business... ♪

Hello. Miss Elliot? I've called around about my nephew's bicycle.

Only I'm afraid, you see, that it's a complete write-off.

So, as I said to our David, rather than call the police,

I thought I'd come round here

and see if we could sort out a financial settlement.

You know, keep it all out of court.

So, if I could come in--

I'm sorry. I have no idea what you're talking about.

♪ Too much monkey business

♪ Too much monkey business for me to be involved with you... ♪

- Geoffrey. - Yes?

You know this bring and buy sale?

- No. - You do. Mrs Jowett's thing.

Well, we were thinking, how about you for Naming The Dolly?

Naming the Dolly?

Yeah, Mrs Ventress has made this doll,

and there's a prize for guessing its name and we need...

Oh, come on, Geoff. It's for the Toddler Group.

Toddler Group?

Well! That Elliot woman!

I have never known anybody so rude in the whole of my life.

I went round there to see about our David's bike and what did she do?

She slammed the door in my face.

No apology. No offer of compensation.

As rude as rude could be.

And...

I saw a teddy bear.

Sorry?

That's right. A teddy bear.

Plain as a pikestaff, and though it hurts me to say so,

Joyce Jowett was right. There is a baby.

- Peggy... - No, there's got be be, Gina.

Otherwise why would there be a toy on the floor?

If there was a baby we would have seen it by now.

- Of course we would. - Not necessarily.

- Not if she never takes it out. - Come on!

Well. It could be very ill.

Or...

- She could be hiding it. - Hiding it?

It'd explain why she never lets anybody in the house, Gina.

That's right. She could've stolen it.

She might've been desperate for a child and pinched one.

Or she could've kidnapped it and be asking for ransom.

That could be why she wears them dark glasses, to avoid detection.

Hold on. I think we're getting a bit carried away, aren't we?

Yeah, I agree. Talk about speculation!

The teddy bear is not speculation, Oscar,

and where there's a bear there's a child,

and if it's a child, why is it a secret?

It's going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

We'll track her down. Don't you worry.

DOORBELL RINGING

Go on, go on!

Go on, Trojan. Go on!

DOG BARKING

BOY: Get off! Get off!

Get off!

- Go on, get off! - MAN: Get out of it!

Rob, it's Carol for you. Urgent.

Carol?

Miss Elliot's dog, yeah.

About half an hour ago.

Tell him it's a danger to the whole village.

Tell him it wants sh**ting!

Kirby again. Guess what this time.

The woman opposite set her dog on his sons

and he got bitten fending it off.

I'd better get over there before World w*r Three breaks out.

Well, I'm glad it's your patch, mate, and not mine.

Whose dog did he say?

That lady who everyone's so up in arms about.

Apparently she might've stolen a baby.

- You what? - Well, that's what they're saying

down at the pub. - Oh, yeah?

You don't want to listen to village gossip, lad.

♪ When I look up to the sky

♪ I see your eyes a funny kind of yellow

♪ I rush home to bed I soak my head

♪ I see your face underneath my pillow ♪

I hope this is not going to take long.

It might be quicker if you put the dog away first.

Go on, Trojan, go on.

Let's get back to why you let it out in the first place.

I told you, because somebody kept ringing my doorbell.

Yes. Two young boys, aged just nine and eleven.

I was frightened. I thought...

You thought what?

I didn't know who it was.

In other words, you let out a dangerous dog

to att*ck persons unknown. - Trojan's not dangerous.

Mr Kirby only got hurt because he tried to pull away.

And it was his fault. If he hadn't allowed his kids to run wild--

That's no excuse, I'm afraid.

If you have a big dog like that, you must act responsibly.

I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again.

All right. As it's the first time it's happened,

I'll let the matter rest this once.

- But should there be a next time-- - There won't be.

You have my absolute word.

I can't afford to lose him, living here on my own.

- Not quite on your own, I see. - Yes, Constable. Quite on my own.

The toy belongs to Trojan.

- DAVID: Good news? What good news? - This good news right here.

Ah.

- Can we come in? - What, into the dark room?

It takes but five minutes to save a soul.

Actually I'm just a little bit busy at the moment

cos I'm working on some photographs for my auntie.

Well, perhaps there's someone else. A lodger, somebody new to the area.

Someone who could do with the comfort of the good book.

Sorry. No takers.

Come on, David. Let's have a look at them pictures.

I said, I'm sorry, no takers.

We're heathens.

I'm not a heathen, am I?

Did you see Frances Elliot?

- Yep. - And?

Six of one, half a dozen of the other, as far as I could tell.

What, so you're taking it further,

even though her dog bit Ronald Kirby?

No.

And what about this baby that Peggy and Mrs Jowett are on about.

- Any sign of that? - Not really.

LAUGHS

What's that supposed to mean?

Sorry?

Rob, what's the matter with you? You're on another planet.

- You got in. - So it seems.

That's amazing.

- When did you hear? - Yesterday.

Yesterday? Why didn't you tell me?

You've accepted, I take it.

Rob, what you playing at? This is a chance in a lifetime.

Is it?

Of course it is.

It's wonderful.

I could've been a photographer, you know, David.

I seem to be able to take a really good photo quite naturally.

Yeah, especially seeing as there's nothing in them.

I beg your pardon!

- Well, no people. - David, I thought I explained.

We're doing landscapes.

Yeah, but I mean, well, that's just sky and bits of hills and that.

Exactly. That is a landscape.

Oh, just get on.

OK.

Oh, hang on!

I forgot this roll of film. It was the first one I took.

I'll put it here on this shelf.

Now, see, there was another one who was a bit like Twiglet,

only she wasn't quite as skinny, called The Prawn. I liked her.

SIGHS

The Shrimp, David. Jean Shrimpton.

So I'd get a really nice picture of her and I'd put her right there,

that's what I would do.

- David... - Make it much more interesting.

Shut up.

So, I'm not allowed an opinion now?

No.

♪ Sunday morning Sunday shine ♪

Come on, go get it.

TYRES SCREECH

CAR SPEEDS OFF

Peter!

It's Ronnie Kirby's lad. Rosie, call an ambulance now, quick!

TELEPHONE RINGING

- Aidensfield Police house. - 'Rob, there's been an accident.'

CRIES IN PAIN

- Is he going to be all right? - Yeah, I'm sure he is.

Come on. We can follow the ambulance in my car.

And you, Ryan, there's a brave lad.

It was her, Mr Walker. That woman again.

And she never stopped, she just carried on regardless.

OK, Ronnie. We'll speak later.

- Did either of you two see the car? - Yeah, I did, Rob.

Was it Miss Elliot's?

Judging by the way that car was being driven,

I would say it was definitely her, yes.

- How is he? - He's been to theatre.

He had to have his leg set.

Oh, poor little lad.

Don't worry. Look, I'm sure he'll be fine.

Yeah, maybe, but that's not the point, is it?

He could've been k*lled.

And what are the police doing about it?

Well, Rob Walker's up seeing Miss Elliot now.

Good. I hope he puts her behind bars.

BERNIE: Yeah but, Ronnie, nobody saw the car properly.

- Ryan did. - Not for definite.

- Look, whose side are you on? - I'm not on anybody's side.

She did it, all right? I know what she's like.

You won't find anything, constable. Feel the engine. Go on.

It's cold, isn't it?

Quite cold because, as I keep telling you, I haven't been out.

All the same. I'll need to ask you some questions. Can I come in?

- It's not convenient. - Oh?

Look, constable. I came to Aidensfield for peace and quiet, OK?

I live on my own. I keep myself to myself,

and I don't want to be disturbed. So, please, can you just go?

I had nothing to do with whatever it is you're investigating.

All right. I'll leave it for now.

Oh, this business about living alone.

One or two of the villagers think they heard a baby.

Oh yes? And have they got nothing better to do

than make up wild stories?

There's no-one here but me, I assure you. Goodnight.

DOG WHIMPERS

Sit!

BABY BABBLES

Oh, little man, mm?

Ssh.

- Hi. - Hi. You all right?

- Has she been arrested? - Who?

That woman, of course.

Look, Ronnie, I've been dealing with Ryan.

His granny's with him now but he's very upset.

- I think you need to get back. - Yeah, and I will,

when I know what's going on.

Have you seen PC Walker?

Yes. Coming back from Miss Elliot's.

And?

Apparently she said she had nothing to do with it.

Well, she would, wouldn't she?

- What's happening now? - Nothing, I don't think.

- Not until the morning. - Nothing?!

There's nothing to do. Not until the police have found witnesses.

Unless she starts telling the truth!

Which she won't, I suppose, not if it'll incriminate her.

Maybe not to the police, but she might to us.

- Given a little gentle persuasion. - Come on we'll go and sort it out.

Steady on, you lot. You can't go taking the law into your own hands.

- Who says? - I do.

Well, it's not your son that's been run over, is it?

Just think about what you're doing. A woman living on her own,

not knowing anyone, you could frighten her to death.

Don't give me that, Oscar.

If the police are too feeble to act, I'm not. Get out of my way.

- Living on her own? A stranger? - We have her.

Rob, it's Oscar, big trouble.

BANGING ON DOOR

Open up!

You knocked my son down and you're not gonna get away with it!

She's in there. I can hear somebody.

BANGING ON DOOR

Open up!

BANGING ON DOOR

GASPING

Come on out, lady! We know you're in there!

Come on, open up!

Get back!

Away from the door! Come on!

We're only doing what you should've done.

Stop behaving like a fool, Mr Kirby. You, too. Or you'll be under arrest.

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

I want to hear an apology. Now!

- WOMAN: Yes! - So, when?

Tonight?

No, not with that copper around.

Tomorrow will do fine.

♪ Strange lady in town

♪ Strange lady in town

♪ She's all that any man could ask for... ♪

Aunt Peggy, come and look what I've done.

What is it, lovey?

Come here.

Right, now you see those, see those tiny people there in the distance?

What I've done is I've blown that up and...

I've got that. You see?

And I don't care what you say, but I reckon that is

a much more interesting photograph even though it's not a landscoop.

Scape!

Two picnickers and a car?

Whose going to want to buy a picture of two picnickers and a...

Hang on a minute.

Well, I'll be blowed!

It's them two what were round before, in't it?

Flogging the Bible. Except her hair's...

her hair's... - DAVID: Hanging on the aerial.

- Hang on, that's a wig! - Eh, you're right, David.

And, by 'eck, what's this?

- You definitely checked her car? - Yes, sarge. No sign of anything.

No dents, scratches, and the engine was cold.

She's adamant it wasn't her.

PHIL: Yeah, and Ronnie's adamant that it was.

His boy saw a woman driver at the wheel

and Oscar's caught a glimpse of the car,

a dark-coloured saloon, very like hers.

And she knocked David off his bike the other day. It all fits.

I agree. Two hit and run accidents in the same village

in the same week.

We know she did the first. Cold engine or not,

I think we've got our prime suspect.

Except I get the feeling she was telling the truth.

Your feelings are neither here nor there.

A child has been run down and until we find the despicable person

responsible for this, we leave no stone unturned. You got that?

Sarge.

You two, double check the scene for tyre marks,

then door to door round the village.

Find out if anybody saw anything.

Particularly a dark saloon and its driver.

- Yes, sarge. - Right, sarge.

Walker, go and see her again. This time get the truth out of her.

Yes, sarge.

And I need to have a word with you in my room. Straight away.

HQ rang. They want to know why you haven't contacted them

about your replacement.

Right.

Get on with it lad, for heaven's sake.

DOORBELL RINGS

DOG BARKING

BABY BABBLES

DOORBELL RINGS

BABY BABBLES

Shh.

OK. She's there.

BABY CRIES

BABY CRYING

g*nshots

DOG WHIMPERS

No!

g*nsh*t

Go!

It's that couple. The door to door Bible people.

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

What on earth's he doing with a g*n?

Hardly the way to convert someone, I'd have thought.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Aidensfield police House.

OK, Ronnie, take it slowly.

She's still alive, Mr Walker. I called the ambulance.

- Good. Try and stay calm. - I saw it happen.

Right in front of my eyes it was.

Hold that there. Press firmly. Got it?

Yeah.

They ditched the car down the road, I passed it on my way down.

Yeah, road blocks on all exits.

Alf, the car's near the station. I'm gonna check there first.

Yeah, get the others to meet me there just in case.

All right, over and out.

BABY CRIES

BABY CRYING

It's a baby! What's a baby doing here?

OK. Call Carol Cassidy. She'll know what to do.

BABBLING

Mr Woodley!

Can you hold the train, please?

Come on, little man.

Let's change your nappy and give you a feed, eh?

♪ Can't hear your daddy's warning cry

♪ You're going back to be all the things you want to be

♪ While in sweet dreams you softly sigh

♪ You hear my voice is calling to be mine again

♪ Live the rest of your life in a day... ♪

- Take her! - No!

Get off! Get off!

♪ Get out and get what you can... ♪

Get up!

Well done, lad.

♪ 'Cause they've lost what they thought they were keeping ♪

One step nearer and I'll sh**t your pal!

In fact I'll probably sh**t you, anyway.

One less Englishman's always good news.

Watch out!

Get off the track! Move!

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

So that gossip I heard in the pub,

you know, about that lady stealing a baby,

it looks as if it might be right.

I mean, these two could be the parents trying to get it back.

ALF: Yes, Geoff, but why the g*n? Why did they sh**t her?

Yeah, and the dog. No, that doesn't make sense.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

Name?

Address?

Why did you sh**t Frances Elliot?

Is it to do with the child?

Is the child yours?

It's Detective Sergeant Dawson.

- In there? - She is. He's in the cells.

Right. Lets bring him out.

What's going on?

Special Branch wants them taken straight to HQ.

- Special Branch? - Yeah.

ROB: So, what's it all about?

Let's get the prisoners out to the van, shall we?

BELL TOLLING

- OK, so now can we be told? - I don't know much myself, Rob.

Just that Elliot wasn't Frances's real name

and her husband was Alastair King. Remember him?

That journalist in all the papers a while ago.

The bloke who vanished in Belfast or somewhere.

Belfast?

Yeah. Went off to report about the riots and never came back.

- Something like that, yeah. - Hold on a sec, Rachel.

Are you saying this is something to do with Irish politics?

- I think it is, isn't it? - Careful, Rob.

Village bobbies aren't paid to think,

not about this sort of thing, anyway.

So, Frances is going to be OK, then?

Yeah. Weak but out of danger,

and her mum's coming over to look after the baby.

Aw, do you hear that Carol?

You what?

ROB: Granny's coming to take over.

Oh, that's great. Hello!

- You look bit... - What? Rough?

I'm sure I do, Rob, and so would you if you'd had two hours sleep.

- He woke up five times. - Six!

And I thought you were the baby expert.

Come on, then. Yeah?

Here we go.

Look who's here.

Thank God he's safe. Thank God.

I was just so frightened for him.

So, so frightened, every minute of every day,

the whole time I've been in Aidensfield.

That's why I had to keep you hidden away, wasn't it, my pet?

I knew they'd stop at nothing.

You're all I've got left in the world, now Daddy's gone.

- CAROL: Do you want talk about it? - Not really.

Sorry. Just...

Well, my husband vanished in Northern Ireland

and like a fool I tried to find him

and that's how I landed in this mess.

I thought I knew the ropes.

I didn't, of course.

Find him, I mean, because he was dead.

But I found out it was the IRA who'd k*lled him.

And a whole lot more. Names--

COUGHS

- So, that's... - What it's all about, yes.

Let's just say I knew too much.

ROB: And you came to Aidensfield to hide yourself away.

- CAROL: How did they find you? - I don't know.

That's the worst of it, because it means where ever I go,

I'm never going to feel safe.

Oh, I'll survive.

I'll have to, won't I?

Or all of PC Walker's efforts will have been in vain.

Thank you for saving my life.

If you hadn't come along when you did...

Actually, it wasn't me that saved you.

It was your neighbour. Ronald Kirby.

Aren't you coming in?

No, I'd better get off on my rounds.

Just for five minutes. I need to talk to you about the course.

I've got to give them an answer this morning.

- So give it. - I can't.

- I'd like to know what you think. - That's not really relevant, is it?

Of course, it is.

No, Rob. This is something you need to decide on your own. Really.

And I do have patients waiting. I'm Sorry.

- ROB: I've accepted. - I know.

HQ just rang to tell me.

Well, Walker's with him just now but as soon as see him...

Er, it's Forensics, for you. You were right.

The fibres found on the couple's car do match.

Excellent. I'll take it in my room.

Constable Walker's got something to tell you all.

Oh aye, what's that then?

- Nothing. - ALF: Bye.

Well, erm...I got on the course.

Flipping Norah. Well done, mate.

Congratulations.

Out of all those people, and all.

The only thing is, I've got to start next week.

What?

Yeah, I leave tomorrow.

It's all to do with Peter's red jumper,

the one he were wearing in the accident.

They took it away for forensics

and Sergeant Miller's rung me with a piece of news.

Oh, yes?

They've actually found a car with red fibres stuck in the paintwork

and they match. - Match?

Peter's jumper. Of course, Miller wouldn't tell me whose car it was...

Just that it weren't yours.

So, I owe you a big apology.

- That's really not... - No, please.

Let me say what I've come to say.

I accused you of knocking my son down

when you had absolutely nothing to do with it

and that was a terrible thing to do and I'm very sorry.

Sorry I came round that night.

Sorry I shouted at you like I did.

And I'd... I'd like you to have these as a peace offering.

Thank you.

But I think it should be me thanking you, for saving my life.

Saturday?

But that's tomorrow.

I know. Someone dropped out of the next intake.

I didn't have much choice.

It's a bit of a rush to get packed and what-not.

What'll you do with this place? Suppose you'll have to sell it.

How you gonna do that when you're down--

Never mind all that.

Look, Carol.

CLEARS THROAT

I've been doing a lot of thinking.

I don't know how to say this, but erm...

Would you come with me?

- Come with you? - Yeah, to Bramshill.

You could get a job down there. Everyone's crying out for nurses.

We don't have to live at the college.

No. Don't go on, Rob. You don't mean it.

LAUGHS

- I do. - No, I don't think so.

And even if you did, I'd say no.

Rob...

Thank you. It's very nice of you to ask and I...

I do appreciate it, but...

I don't want to move.

But me and you. I thought after the last few--

There is no me and you.

I mean, we're good friends, yes, but...

it's not the real thing.

Look, Carol, I erm... I think about you all the time.

- No! - I really care for you.

Why are you talking like this?

Because, Rob, I've been waiting for you for months and months.

- Waiting for you to just... - To what?

I don't know.

Part of you is always somewhere else, isn't it?

Oh, come on, Rob, you know what I'm talking about.

There's always this other person.

Helen.

I lost my wife, it's a very hard thing to come to terms with.

Yes, and you haven't yet.

Which is why you and I can only ever be friends.

Which is why it's good that you're leaving

because unless you get away from this place

where everything around you reminds you of her,

you're never going to be-- - Any good for anyone else?

I'm sorry, Rob.

- I did want it to work out. - Right

Morning. Morning. Steady with those, girls.

- Good morning. - OSCAR: Mrs Jowett.

- How many have you got? - Oh, about uh...

- ALF: Hold it down there. - Well, hurry up!

I would if I could find the end. Ah, there we are.

- Very nice, Mrs Armstrong. - Yes, they are, aren't they?

And of course, you know that shocking business

over poor Miss Elliot?

Well, it was because I took these pictures

that the villains were caught.

- Never! - Oh, yes, it was.

Oh, David, there you are.

Did you find that missing film?

Oh, yes. On the shelf just like you said.

Tell you what, these are very good but they did make me laugh.

Good.

Well, here we are, Mrs Jowett, our latest pictures, hot off the press.

- Go on, lay them out, David. - Oh.

Thank you.

CHUCKLES

I like that!

DAVID LAUGHS

Mrs Armstrong!

Well, it wasn't me!

LAUGHS

Well, with your old one being on its last legs.

It's got a cassette thingy, look. For your tapes!

If the lectures get too boring, wear them.

Listen, this is too much, thanks.

Oh, and we got you a card.

ROB: Oh, as well!

Good luck, lad. We'll miss you.

Thanks, sarge. And don't worry about the police house. I'll sort it out.

You should've heard Mrs Jowett. She had a right go at Peggy.

"This is a Christian country, with no place for filth and obscenity."

- And then Peggy had a go at David. - Oh, dear!

Obviously, someone borrowed the camera. Yeah.

Oh, Carol!

Come on, cheer up.

I know how you must be feeling.

I'm fine.

I'll just go check on the urn, OK?

Ey up, Rob.

- All packed and ready to go? - Yup.

Boxes delivered to the station. House cleared.

- Have you seen Carol anywhere? - She's in the kitchen.

WATER BUBBLING

I've been thinking about what you said.

Oh, yeah?

You were right. I do need to go.

SOBS

Come here.

All right.

I'm going to miss you so much.

- WOMAN: Agatha. - Agatha, thank you, madam. Agatha.

- WOMAN : Lulu. - Lulu. Oh, lovely.

Thank you, madam. Lulu.

The name will be announced at the very end.

- What name would you like to guess? - Dewdrop.

Dewdrop? Well, yes, that's a lovely name. Thank you.

Come on, Geoff, what is the dolly's name?

Well, it's...

Oh, you're joking!

I forgot.

Bye, Rob, we're all going to miss you.

If I don't see you before I leave, take care.

PEGGY: shillings for the big ones, ten the medium...

- David, keep out of trouble, eh? - Yeah, I will. I'll try my best.

Oh, sorry. They're not for sale.

Of course they are. They're a bit pricey, though. £, that one.

But Mrs Jowett said...

I don't care what Mrs Jowett said.

- Oh, I want shillings for that. - What the...?

Did you two do this? Eh? Just wait till I get hold of you!

CROCKERY SMASHING

BOY: Sorry!

- He's going, Oscar. - What, he's going now?

- Yeah. I'm gonna go wave him off. - All right, I'll follow you.

Right, ladies and gents. Rob Walker is just about to leave,

so all of us outside and give him a great big send off.

Shall we? Come on!

Now, then, Rob, drive safely.

CHEERING

- Seen Rob anywhere? - He's just gone.

- I'll see you. - Thanks, Phil.

- What, left? - Yeah.

But I wouldn't worry. I'm sure you'll meet him again.

Somewhere up that greasy pole.

Damn.

♪ Don't set your life out on paper

♪ You have the road light shining on you ♪

ROB: What was I, Helen,

some bit of rough to keep you company after Matthew d*ed?"

HELEN: It wasn't like that at all!

CHILDREN LAUGHING

ROB: You once said to me, "whatever anyone has done long wrong, lad,

better face the truth than hide behind a lie.

I still believe that.

I call upon these persons here present, to witness that I, Robert,

do take thee, Helen, to be my lawful wedded wife.

CHILD'S LAUGHTER

OSCAR: You're on the ladder.

- ROB: They're my mates. - OSCAR: You're on the fast track.

ROB: It seems disloyal.

OSCAR: A sergeant straight after, inspector in a few years.

Helen!

Where are you going?

Well, I thought we'd take the scenic route.

OSCAR: There's another reason for all this nonsense, isn't there?

ROB: I just want us to be friends again.

CAROL: Not just friends.

♪ Is your life your own? ♪