14x26 - Bin Man

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

MUSIC: 'Blue Monday' by Georgie Fame

♪ Blue Monday, I hate Blue Monday

♪ Got to work like a sl*ve all day

♪ In comes Tuesday BARKING

♪ Oh, hard Tuesday

Shoo! Come on!

♪ And I ain't got no time to play

♪ In comes Wednesday

♪ I'm beat to my socks... ♪

Oh, Alfred, clear off. Go on.

Alfred, get out of there! Go home. Go on, get lost.

- Aaaagh! Oscar! - What is it?

What is that?

- It won't go through there. - Oh, yes, it will.

Just put your back into it.

Where'd you get it from, anyway?

I told ya, a sale.

What do we need a freezer for?

Oh, don't be such a stick-in-the-mud.

Think what we'll be able to put in it.

- What? - Ice lollies, of course.

- On tap whenever you want them. - Oh!

See how I look after my favourite nephew, eh?

- Hm! - Come on.

MUSIC: 'Needles And Pins' by The Searchers

♪ I saw her today

♪ I saw her face

♪ It was a face I loved

♪ And I knew I had to run away-ay

♪ And get down on my knees and pray-ay

♪ That they'd go away

♪ But still they'd begin-a

♪ Needles and pins-a

♪ Because of all my pride

♪ The tears I gotta hide ♪

- I got the fright of me life. - I would've died.

I... phoned Helen, by the way.

She is the police surgeon, so I thought... er...

OK.

Without Alfred, it would've been off with the bin men.

- No-one would have ever known. - Chopped off exactly at the point...

Oh, Bernie, shut up!

Right.

First impressions only...

A left hand.

Probably male.

Hasn't done any manual work.

No ring on the wedding finger.

Severed quite neatly.

I'd guess after death.

Oh, and... no decomposition, so...

..it must be recent.

Do you have a plastic bag, Rob?

We need to get it over to the path lab.

Do you want me to do that?

I can manage, thank you.

What I'm wondering is,

did this person or persons put any other body parts in any other bins?

In other words, where's the rest of the body?

- Exactly. - There might not be one.

- It might just be the hand. - Somebody mislaid it, you mean?

- Well... - Through carelessness?

I don't really think so.

DOOR CLOSSES

Ah, Walker. How far did the bin men get?

Right through the village, Sarge. Just a few outlying farms to do.

- You managed to stop them? - Yes, Sarge.

I told them to take what they'd collected back to the depot.

Right.

Ventress, get me the path lab.

I'll see if they've found any prints on that hand yet.

Well, go on, you two!

Get to the depot and start sorting through the refuse. Chop-chop!

Great.

And you, Younger, you'd better check through the outlying bins.

You know, Rosie, if Gina hadn't come out at that exact moment,

Alfred might have run off and buried it.

- I know! - Or he might have run over here

and put it in his basket. Can you imagine

finding a human hand in Alfred's basket?

What're you doing?

I'm trying to find a torque wrench.

Oh, I don't know, David. This whole place, it's a mess.

I spend half my life trying to find things.

FOOTSTEPS Don't say anything.

It'll only upset him.

- What are you two up to? - Nothing.

- Trying to find a torque wrench. - David!

- It's where I left it, on the floor. - No, Bernie, it isn't.

And I can't get on without it.

Oh, er...

- I... I was just... - Yes?

Well... no-one here's had an accident, have they?

With a bit of machinery or summat?

Lost a hand and put it in...

But if anyone does come in...

Yes.

Thanks, then.

No hand-related accidents at either Ashfordly General or the Royal.

- And you've tried the GPs? - Oh, yeah.

So, no accidents, nothing on the missing persons list...

..and Younger hasn't come up with anything yet.

Ah, any luck?

Luck, Sarge?

Poking through a stinking mass of potato peelings and...

rotten cabbage, chicken carcasses...

All right, that's enough.

- Any body parts? - No.

Right, well, I think we've done as much as we can. Get me DI Shiner.

Look, Bernie, it's no-one's fault.

- Apart from you did have it last. - David!

Leave it for now and I'll have a clear-up in the morning.

No! I'll find it in a minute.

Now, you just... go home.

Come on, then.

Night, Mr Scripps.

Night, Bernie.

CLIFF RICHARD: ♪ If you hear somebody knockin' on your door

♪ If you see something crawlin' across the floor

♪ Baby, it'll be me

♪ And I'll be lookin' for you

♪ Well, if you see somebody climbin' up a telegraph pole

♪ If you find a new lump in your sugar bowl

♪ Baby, it'll be me

♪ I'll be lookin' for you

♪ I'm gonna search in the mountain

♪ Down in the deep blue sea... ♪ Helen?

Oh, I'm really sorry.

Look, I know it's way past surgery hours, but...

- I feel really shaky. - Come on in.

♪ If you find a new bait on your fishin' hook

♪ If you find a funny face in your comic book

♪ Baby, it'll be me... ♪

One sleeping tablet.

Don't make a habit of it.

I won't. Thanks, Helen.

I mean, it's not every day you find a horrible...

- What're you looking at? - Oh, nothing.

What?

I think there's someone out there.

Where?

Just down the road.

You'd better call Rob.

No.

Helen?

There's a bloke sat outside in a car staring at us.

Do it now!

It's probably nothing.

♪ If you hear somebody knockin' on your door

♪ If you see something crawlin' across the floor

♪ Baby, it'll be me

♪ And I'll be lookin' for you

♪ Well, if you see somebody climbin' up a telegraph pole

♪ If you find a new lump in your sugar bowl

♪ Baby, it'll be me

♪ I'll be lookin' for you

♪ I'll be lookin' for you

♪ I'll be lookin' for you ♪

g*nsh*t

g*nsh*t

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

What a shot!

Good old Peg!

- What are you doing? - sh**ting bunnies.

I got six this afternoon and another one now. Good, innit?

Seven?

Yeah. And pheasants.

We're never gonna eat all those.

Not for us, you silly boy.

To sell on our stall.

- What stall? - David,

- I've told you that many times. - No, you haven't.

Why did I buy the freezer?

For me ice lollies and that.

Don't be daft.

No, it's to store game in, you great dollop.

We get as many rabbits and pheasants as we can find.

Free, mind.

Then each week we take 'em into Ashfordly and...

bingo! % profit.

"We"?

You don't think I'd leave you out, do you, lovie?

I mean, this is a joint venture.

You'll be doing the plucking and the gutting.

g*nsh*t Ha-ha-ha! Yoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

David...

..have you moved anything?

No.

SLURPING

- Why, are you looking for something? - No. No, nothing. No.

SLURPING

Do you have to do that?

Sorry.

DI Shiner has just pulled up.

No reports on any more body parts?

No, Sarge, not a sausage.

Good. With any luck, there won't be.

They could be in all different places, Sarge.

Sort of... scattered about, to avoid detection.

The legs in... Scotland, perhaps,

- and the arms in... - All right, Younger.

Just get on, eh? D R CLOSES

Sorry I'm late. I came via the path lab to pick up this.

Several sets of prints on the Sellotape, all from the same person.

And... bit of a breakthrough, as a matter of fact.

Surprised you didn't notice.

This.

Tucked inside the box.

If we find who wrote this, we could discover who put the hand in that.

"T-B-C-B-C...

"A-H C-R £ / d."

Some sort of code, obviously.

Distinctive handwriting. Look at the H and Cs.

I know that writing.

It's Bernie Scripps!

Yeah.

But think about it, Gina.

It'd take a helluva lot of elbow grease to cut a hand off.

You've gotta go thought the bones

- and the sinews... - Please.

Shut up! You're making Bernie feel sick.

Not half as sick as I felt when I found it.

If I'd found it, I'd have thought it was a lady out of a shop window.

One of those dummy things.

Apart from the blood, obviously.

I think I'm going barmy.

Oh, aye?

Things keep going missing from the workshop.

I leave them where I remember them and next day they've gone!

Today was the worst. I can't find my pressure gauge, my small spanners...

Hang on, hang on.

Have you asked Rosie and David?

I can't. If I tell David, he'll tell her

and she'll think I'm going gaga.

- Don't be daft. - It's true!

She already thinks I'm past it. I'm beginning to think she's right.

Oh, come on, Bernie. You've got years left.

- You're still a spring chicken. - Yesterday we lost a wrench.

I knew exactly where I left it, but... no.

I'm losing my memory.

Either you are or somebody's nicking things.

Nicking things?

Somebody must be helping themselves to your tools.

If that's the case, you must tell the police.

Hang on.

Mr Scripps.

Yes?

Would you step outside a minute, please?

What's he done?

I don't know.

It'll be about that hand, I bet.

Well, think about it.

He does run the mortuary.

He might have cut the hand off by accident

in the embalming process.

Could you confirm that this is your handwriting, please?

- Yes. - Excellent.

It was found in this box, which presumably you also recognise.

No.

That's strange.

This box, Mr Scripps, with your writing in it,

was used by someone to throw away a hand.

The hand that was found just across from your garage in a bin.

Mr Scripps,

did you put this box with a hand in it in that bin?

No!

No, I didn't!

I'm not at all happy about all this. In fact, I'm not putting up with it.

Get him back.

Look, Bernie...

..all we want you to do is remember what that bit of paper's all about,

- in case it leads us somewhere. - What piece of paper?

Some old invoice of mine.

Found with the hand.

Blimey.

Trouble is, I can't remember writing it.

Well, that's all right. I'll help ya.

- It's a case of jogging your memory. - There's nowt wrong with my memory!

Course there isn't.

- Everyone's saying...! - Shut up, David.

They reckon you got that hand from a mortuary

and put it in a bin and forgotten it!

That's it, I'm shutting up shop!

Oh, come on, it were only Peggy. David!

There you are, Mrs Armstrong.

Oh, lovely!

So, er...

- when do I get me cut? - Lennie.

Trust me.

Once we're up and running

we'll both be... ♪ in the money! ♪

Meanwhile, you keep 'em coming. The more the merrier.

ENGINE SPLUTTERS

It's not a code, Mr Shiner.

It's the way I work my invoices out before I write them properly.

SHINER: OK.

What does T-B-C-B-C mean?

To Be Collected By Customer.

And C-R?

- Car Part. - That's C-P, you dope.

I know what A-H is, Ashfordly Hall.

Right.

So if we look under the Ashfordly Hall account...

- C-R... - Nothing on that page...

- Car Radio. - Car Radio. What do you think?

Aye, yes.

I recall getting a radio for Lord Ashfordly once ages ago.

Yes, um... but I didn't fit it.

No, one of his chaps must've done.

In which case,

he might have collected it from you in its box,

and you could have left the rough invoice in there by mistake.

Aye, I suppose so.

- It may have ended up at the hall. - Here, car radio.

£ / .

It were ages ago, too.

Five years, in fact.

Thank you, Mr Scripps.

You've been most helpful.

Sgt Miller's here.

Good.

Walker, he and I had better pay a visit to the hall straightaway.

Anything the matter, Bernie?

You seem rather, er...

No, no. Nothing.

CAR DRIVES OFF

Hello.

- Sorry, were you...? - No!

It's just, I wanted a quick word,

- but if you're busy... - No!

I'll... I was just going home for a sandwich.

- Would you like to join me? - No... really.

It...

it's just... I'm not sure, but I think someone's watching my house.

Right.

For the last couple of days there's been a dark car parked outside.

It sounds a bit silly now I say it.

Oh, I don't want to make a big thing of it.

I know you're up to your ears in this hand business.

I'll take the details, all the same.

I can always get Geoff or Phil on to it if necessary.

Thanks.

♪ There's two men just standin' there

♪ They don't look scared Well, I don't care

♪ I wouldn't be in your shoes, son

♪ I tell you now you'd better run

♪ Ooh-whee-ooh-ooh ♪

Ohhh!

Walker had better be right.

I don't think His Lordship'll be best pleased.

We're all equal in the eyes of the law, I hope.

Of course.

This? You seriously expect me to remember this?

I can't even remember the radio. When am I meant to have bought it?

Five years ago.

Five years? This is ridiculous.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Constable Walker, milord, to speak to the officers.

While you're here, Mrs Kellett,

do you remember us getting a new car radio a few years ago?

- Yes, milord. - Well, and, er...

what happened to the box that it came in?

- The box? - Yes, Mrs Kellet, the box.

Unbelievable, I know, but these gentlemen asked what happened to it.

Well, it must've been thrown away.

Sorry, Sarge. It's pretty urgent.

HE SIGHS

Yes?

Geoff's found another body part.

There y'are, Geoff. That'll perk you up.

Ta.

So, um...

..what part of the body was it?

I didn't look!

DOOR CLOSES

Right, lads. Younger's find has given us a lot more information.

One, the fingerprints on the wrapping paper

were the same as those found on the box,

which means the same person parcelled up both bits.

And two, the path lab think that the hand and your bit

were almost certainly from the same body.

What bit was it, by the way?

Part of the torso.

And three...

..that it was frozen.

Frozen? But surely it hasn't been cold enough.

Unfrozen on the outside, but frozen in the middle.

Hey, you don't suppose that...?

Yes, Bellamy, I do.

The body parts were stored in a freezer.

Right, Bernie, what's the big mystery, then?

This.

Yes?

It's open.

Yes?

It's never open. I keep it very firmly shut.

Bernie, if that window is open when it's always shut

and things are going missing,

I'd say you've definitely got an intruder.

I'm not going to the police.

Well, you're gonna have to!

No, I can't!

I mean, then everyone'd know, and...

and... it might all be my fault, this.

I could've opened this for some reason and forgotten.

No, I want this kept between you and me.

All right.

OK.

I've got another idea.

Sorry, Mrs Kellett,

- I need to see Lord Ashfordly again. - What is it now, Walker?

Silly question, but does the estate own a freezer?

- We did have, but we got rid of it. - When?

A few days ago?

Lord Ashfordly thought we needed something bigger.

- It hasn't arrived yet. - What about old one?

Really! What is this all about?

PEACOCK CRIES

LORD ASHFORDLY: I've never known such a fuss, Walker.

Anyway, this is where we put the rubbish.

If it's going to be anywhere, it'll be here.

What on earth you want to see it for, I cannot imagine.

It's to do with the body parts business.

Well, so you keep saying.

Doesn't make any sense to me, I can tell you.

Well, there's nothing here.

Lennie, just a moment.

- Yes, sir? - We're looking for our old freezer.

The staff say they put it on the dump. Did you see it?

I might've done, sir.

- Well, where is it now? - I don't know.

Come on, did you see anyone take it?

No.

David.

Hello.

Pull over!

ENGINE STOPS

All of a sudden, every time I see you,

you're eating an ice lolly. Why is that?

I... I can't tell you that, Mr Walker.

Peggy says that it's a secret.

Oh... not these, the freezer.

You want to see my freezer?

Yes, please.

It's not dodgy, if that's what you're thinking.

I bought it in a sale, all legit and above board.

I don't think so. I think this came from the Ashfordly estate.

It most certainly did not!

Oh, have you been talking to Lennie Carter?

All right.

He got it for me from the estate, yes,

but only off the dump.

I can't see owt wrong in that.

Neither can I in principle, Peggy.

It's just that it's needed as part of a criminal enquiry.

- You what? - I'm afraid so.

Sgt Miller wants it for forensic examination.

Now?

- Is there much in it? - N... n... no.

I see.

BARKING

Agh! BARKING

- Down, boy, down! - Keep him off me!

Sit, Trojan, sit!

He's only doing his job.

He's an ex-police dog, aren't you, me gorgeous?

He wouldn't hurt a fly, really.

He's from Mr Pickersley.

- Who? - Friend of Oscar's.

Security, David. He's our new guard dog.

BARKING

Now, if Lennie Carter found that freezer...

What?

Wonder if he knows anything.

Like?

I dunno. Anything.

- Why don't you ask him, then? - You won't get a straight answer.

DOOR CLOSES

Morning, all.

Any more complaints about that dog?

Two.

One, it barked all night,

and two, it att*cked a postman.

Go and sort it out, will you?

- Me, Sergeant? - Yes, you!

I'm not very good with dogs.

PHONE RINGS

Ashfordly Police Station.

Oh, hello, Helen.

Right, we'll get straight on with it.

The snooper's back.

I'll go.

Come on, Geoff. Come on. I'll give you a lift.

Take the brolly, lad.

That'll keep it off.

BARKING

CAR HORN TOOTS

TOOTING AND BARKING

- Well, I'm not going! - David.

Lie down, Trojan! Lie down!

She can't keep doing the pumps, she's got work to do.

- Well, pull that dog away. - What?

There'd be no point in having him, then, would there?

What's the point, anyway? All it does is scare people to death.

Exactly.

Where is it?

What?

The dog.

Let's have a look at him, then.

Be careful, Mr Younger. It's...

BARKING Agh!

YELLING AND BARKING

Bearing in mind that the freezer came from Ashfordly Hall,

where we think the box with the hand came from,

- and bearing in mind... - All very interesting,

but events have moved on. We've found a b*llet.

A b*llet?

Yes, a . calibre b*llet,

embedded deep in our torso.

Only discovered as the flesh unfroze.

- So it is m*rder. - Yes.

And if it's a . b*llet,

I'm told it could only have been fired from a Webley p*stol.

SHOUTS OF ALARM

SHOUTING AND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS

- Agh! - Oi!

Oi, stop!

Thanks for that.

What?

I was approaching a suspect,

before you came crashing in.

I've been chased by a great big dog!

Geoff...

it's chained up.

Go on!

DOG WHINES

- What're you doing? - You may well ask.

Thanks to your little friend, PC Walker, we've lost our freezer.

Why?

Oh, I don't know.

Miller wanted it for something.

- This lot's gonna melt! - Exactly, so we've gotta cook 'em.

Well, you can't cook.

No, David, but I know someone who can.

Here, you get on with the plucking and the skinning,

while I get on t'telephone.

Poor Helen. She's really nervous, you know.

Thanks to Geoff, it'll be even harder to catch the snooper now.

PHONE RINGS

Aidensfield Arms.

Hi, Peg. What can I do for you?

What?

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

I must say, I'm surprised that Miller is not taking this more seriously.

All he can think about is freezers and Webley pistols.

You know, it's about time

you and I did a bit of snooping on our own, don't you?

I'm warning you, Shiner,

any more of this and I shall have to call my solicitor.

Sir, according to our records, you do own a Webley p*stol.

Oh, come on in, then.

Well, what do you think, Alf? Another half an hour?

Oh, might as well.

I doubt he'll come back.

Yeah.

If he was there in the first place.

But on the other hand...

that could be him.

Let's go.

Can we have a word, sir?

Yes?

Do you mind telling us what you're doing here?

I don't think that's any of your business, is it?

It is when you've been parked here off and on for several days.

And as an ex-police officer and a member of the parish council,

I've been asked to investigate.

HE SIGHS HEAVILY

Alf, I've forgotten me glasses.

"Mr C Williams, private investigator."

There we are.

A wartime memento of my days in the Green Howards.

Thank you, sir.

One of you going to explain to me what this is all about?

It was a g*n of this type that was used to k*ll our victim.

What victim? The owner of the hand and the torso.

It wasn't this particular g*n, I can assure you.

I'm the only person who knows about it.

Unless, of course, you think it was me.

That I'm in the habit of going around sh**ting people,

and chopping them up and putting them in dustbins.

Nothing would surprise me in this job, Lord Ashfordly.

So you were a sergeant with the Manchester lot?

Yes, indeed.

And you were a sergeant over here at just the same time.

And Alf?

Oh, I never rose to those dizzy heights, sir.

Always a constable.

Still doing a grand job, though.

Ah, yes. In civvies.

I was going to do just that when I retired,

and then this private eye job came up.

- How do you find it? - Pretty dull, really.

Mainly matrimonial.

Just like this one.

And you were sent up here by Matthew Trent.

That's right. Usual thing, pre-divorce.

Surveillance on the wife.

See if she's up to anything naughty...

CHUCKLING ..so we can counterclaim.

Ah, Helen.

This is the man I phoned you about, Mr Williams.

How dare you spy on me!

- I'm sorry... - I don't want a conversation, Mr...

whoever you are.

Why don't you go back to where you came from,

and tell my ex-husband that he's wasting his money?

I'm not up to anything.

Considering his record in that field, he's got a cheek to even suggest it.

Don't you dare show your face outside my house again.

Ever.

Helen, it's not his fault, he's just doing his...

Sorry about that.

Par for the course.

KNOCKS ON DOOR

Lennie, I just want a quick word about that freezer.

- It were dumped, rubbish! - I know.

Mrs Armstrong wanted one and I found it for her.

And you've come to accuse me of poaching? I won't have it!

It's her problem, but it's nowt to do with me.

If Mrs Kellett says different, she's a lying cow.

Lennie, I'm not interested in whether you've been poaching.

I'm interested in what was in that freezer...

- What did you say about Mrs Kellett? - Nothing.

No, no, come on.

I can't believe this.

She said she wouldn't say. I mean...

she didn't want me to see her any more than I wanted her to see me.

I think I'd better come in.

Lennie was adamant, he was out doing a spot of... poaching

in the early hours of the morning, when he met Mrs Kellett.

Just near where I found the torso the next day, sir.

- No. - That's what he said, sir.

He said she was carrying a package.

I've known her for years.

She's not the sort of lady to go round at night PHONE RINGS

- popping body parts in bins. - Ashfordly Police Station.

Don't smile, Bellamy. It's not funny.

Yes, sir.

It's Forensics, for you, Inspector.

Hello. Shiner.

So, not keen on the Mrs Kellett idea, eh?

- Doesn't look like it, Sarge, no. - SHINER: I see.

Make enquiries about her, all the same.

SHINER: Thank you.

Fingerprints.

They found several sets on the Webley

and one of them matches the prints on the parcels.

So whoever wrapped up the body parts must have handled the g*n.

Come on, come on.

I haven't got all day. BARKING

Down, Trojan! Down!

Whatever you do, don't raise...!

No! No! Bad dog. No!

BARKING

I'm so sorry.

I... I'll fetch the doctor.

- Is that your dog? - In... in a way.

Do something or I'll have you under the Dogs Act,

hung, drawn and quartered! BARKING

I'm really sorry about this.

I had rather hoped for an apology from Inspector Shiner in person.

He couldn't. He's been bitten by a dog.

Oh, has he now?

Well, that's everyone, apart from Mrs Kellett.

For goodness sake don't go upsetting her.

You know what housekeepers are like.

Easily upset?

I've only upset her once, but never again, I can tell you.

It took me months to win her round.

What was it about?

Oh, goodness me, it was years ago.

Her brother came to stay, that's right.

Set himself up in the servants' quarters and didn't want to leave,

so I had to put my foot down.

- I bet she didn't like that. - No, she did not.

She got rid of him all right,

but was in the most frightful mood for ages afterwards.

DOOR OPENS Ah, Mrs Kellett.

- We were just talking about you. - Well, about your brother.

- What did you say his name was? - Peter.

Poor, dear Peter. We've lost touch completely, I'm afraid.

Just as well, from what I remember.

Anyway, Mrs Kellett, as I'm sure PC Younger has told you,

we need your fingerprints. Absurd, but there it is.

That's quite all right.

Mrs Kellett, we won't be a minute.

How long ago was it since her brother was here?

Well... about five years, I think. Why?

Yep, I've got that, Rob.

Last seen five years ago.

Right, I'll find out what I can.

Out.

Police? Ashfordly here.

Something rather odd.

Hey! WOMAN GASPS

It was you!

- I was just, um... - Tidying up.

- I thought... - Well, you thought wrong.

I'm sorry. I was only trying to help.

Well, in future, don't!

At least it clears one thing up, I'm not losing my marbles.

I never thought you were.

- That's not what this was about? - Yes!

Oh, I am so sorry, Bernie.

As there's no intruder, we shan't need a dog.

Just as well, as Oscar's taking him back to Mr Pickersley.

- Aw! - No "aw" about it, Rosemary,

he was a disaster!

Come on.

Let's get things back to how I like it, eh?

THEY CHUCKLE

CAT STEVENS: ♪ Time rise

♪ Time fall

♪ Time leaves you nothing

♪ Nothing at all

♪ Words, just words

♪ Don't know

Mrs Kellett!

♪ Words take you nowhere

- ♪ Nowhere to go - No! Don't!

♪ To go

Oh, my God!

She's gone in!

Wait there.

♪ I'm going back...

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ooh

♪ Going back... ♪

SPLASHING AND GASPING

MRS KELLETT SPLUTTERING

PC WALKER GRUNTING

♪ Time rise

GRUNTING

♪ Time fall... ♪

- Are you OK? - (GASPS) Yeah.

How long has she been in?

- A minute or so. - Blankets, please.

In my bag. Quick as you can.

Here you go, Doctor.

MRS KELLETT GASPS

- We've got her, sir. - If you want the evidence...

..look in the sitting room on the carpet.

I think you'll find the blood stain's still there.

Let's get you warm and dry.

I had to do it.

You don't know what it was like.

DI Shiner will take a statement as soon as we get you warm.

He was going to tell Lord Ashfordly everything. I was desperate.

I never meant to do it, John.

Honest I didn't.

Take her away.

I've got enough.

Come on, Mrs Kellett.

OWL HOOTS

In my car.

Doctor's orders.

BUZZ OF VOICES

- Here we go. - Hooray!

PEGGY: Cheers, everybody!

ALL: Cheers, Peggy!

It's on the house, I hope.

- I beg your pardon? - I supplied this lot. Fair's fair.

SHE CACKLES

Come on, Gina. If you don't like it,

charge it to the boys in blue.

They was the ones that nicked my fridge, after all.

Hey, you've got a hope, haven't you?

Oh, look at him.

Doesn't know what's good for him.

Have another leg, Bernie. Go on.

Ohhh!

Oh, I don't know how you can do that, Mr Scripps.

The freezer that we've kept this lot in...

had a dead body in for a whole five years.

- Nonsense! - Oh, no, it's true!

It's all over the village.

Mrs Kellett kept her brother...

in our freezer.

He was blackmailing her, apparently.

Either she gave him her life savings

or he'd make sure she lost her job up at the hall.

So why put him in the freezer?

I don't know. Er...

Panic. Terror. Who knows?

- So where's the rest of him? - I don't know, Geoff!

Stop asking questions. I mean, we only found out tonight.

Look, you know as much as I do, all right?

- Where's Rob got to? - Somebody tell Geoff to shut up!

ALL: Shut up, Geoff!

LAUGHTER

Am I forgiven, then?

So long as there's no more digs about me and my memory.

There won't be.

- I told you that a minute ago. - Tell him again, love.

He'll have forgotten by now.

LAUGHTER

THE DRIFTERS: ♪ All you have to do is touch my hand

♪ Wonderful

♪ To show me you understand ♪ Wonderful

♪ Wonderful

♪ And something happens to me ♪ Wonderful

♪ That's some kind of wonderful ♪

Come on, you'll catch your death.

♪ Any time my little world seems blue

No need to be modest.

After all, I've seen it all before. ♪ I just have to look at you

♪ Wonderful

♪ And everything seems to be

♪ Wonderful

♪ Some kind of wonderful ♪

I don't think that's very sensible, Dr Trent.

I'm sick of being sensible.

Are you, now?

Well, maybe I'm not.

Especially when you've been so unfriendly.

It's only because I was scared.

Scared?

Of what?

You.

Me?

♪ This world is a happy place ♪ Wonderful

No more compliments till you get these wet clothes off.

YOUR clothes, I said.