12x13 - For Whom The Bell Tolls

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

♪ The files in your head, you take them to bed

♪ You're never ever through

♪ And they've been working all day...

That's a big one?

Aye, hard work for the next three weeks.

Oi, you! Move it!

♪ There's a five minute break and that's all you take

♪ For a cup of cold coffee and a piece of cake ♪

Tea? Coffee? Something stronger?

No, thank you. This isn't a social call.

What's the problem?

In the time you've had the licence to operate this quarry,

my royalties have fallen steadily and I'd like to know why.

You know why.

It's no good extracting stone that I can't sell.

Then how come neighbouring quarries can sell theirs?

♪ I got my mojo working

♪ But it just won't work on you

♪ I got my mojo working

♪ But it just won't work on you...

HORN BLARES

♪ I want to love you so bad

♪ I don't know what to do

♪ Going down to Louisiana

♪ To get me a mojo hand

♪ Going down to Louisiana

♪ To get me a mojo hand

♪ I'm gonna have all you women ♪

- Very funny. Whose idea was that? - Dunno.

Wasn't there when I left.

- Get it down, Gina. - I'm sure they meant well, Oscar.

Get it down now.

- Hi, Jenny. - Was that Oscar?

Yeah. He's in a right mood.

He must have travelled back on his own steam.

Oh, I wanted a word. Maybe I should try later.

No, no. Come inside. I'm sure he'll behave with you.

Come on.

I've just had a call from Division about special duties

on Saturday the th.

Nobody doing anything on that day, I hope?

Next Saturday?

Oh, I was planning on going to my auntie's in Ripon with...

- Me. - ..with Alf.

You're a friend of Bellamy's auntie, are you, Ventress?

Oh, I'd say so, sarge.

Well, Division have authorised double time in this instance.

Maybe Auntie could wait another week.

She'll be disappointed.

Naturally.

I'll talk to her.

Fine, because we have a VIP arriving by train

en route to Fylingdales warning station.

- What sort of VIP, sarge? - The Defence Minister.

We'll be responsible for seeing him off the train

and escorting his car to Fylingdales and back.

Ah, the wanderer returns.

What can we do for you, then, Oscar?

Well, don't you know?

Know what?

I'm answering to bail, sergeant.

You should have had some paperwork from Benidorm.

You'd better come through.

So how was it, Oscar?

Apart from the arrest, I mean.

Hot.

I'll tell you one thing,

the Spanish police may be cack-handed,

but you lot have got nothing to be proud of.

Nay, Oscar. I only asked.

I've just had another complaint about Briggs' Quarry trucks.

They're making lives a misery for people in Aidensfield

and nobody round here seems to be listening.

We'll have to look into that, won't we, Bradley?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sarge, yes.

So...

you invited this supposed divorcee to your room for a drink.

Well, she more or less invited herself.

When she thought I wasn't watching,

she slipped something into my glass.

Something?

Some powder.

I said nothing. Managed to dispose of the drink.

Then, I pretended to drop off.

When she thought I was asleep, she goes to the door,

lets this bloke in.

- Her husband? - Mmm.

And just as they're helping themselves to my valuables

I come to.

He does a runner, jumps over the balcony.

Lucky for him, it's a short drop.

So why were you arrested?

Well, he breaks his arm in the fall.

Next thing I know, I'm being charged with as*ault.

He says he came to my room to find his wife,

and that I beat him up.

Which the wife corroborated.

Yeah. Now the little toerag is claiming compensation.

♪ I got my mojo workin'

♪ I got my mojo workin' ♪ I got my mojo workin'

♪ I got my mojo workin'

♪ But it just don't work on you ♪

- What's up? - Spot checks.

Tyres, lights and so on...

Can I have a look at your licence, please, sir?

What's going on?

We've had complaints, Mr Copley.

About speeding, unsafe loads.

Is this meant to be secured?

Yeah, one side of the tailgate was loose.

The other was buckled and couldn't be fastened.

We'll see that's repaired straightaway. Won't we, Mal?

It's drummed into drivers,

it's their job to see that their loads are safe.

BRIGGS: Yes, all right, Mal.

We'll see it's sorted out in due course.

If it's all right with you, boss, I'll sort it out now.

Oi, you! Pull over! Over this side, come on!

Over here!

Right, you, get your cards.

You what?

I've warned you often enough. Get your cards and get out!

Oh, we'll see about that.

You'll not see him driving one of our lorries again.

- Why's that then? - I've sacked him.

KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.

- Good afternoon, Doctor. - Ah, Vicar. A problem?

Yes, Doctor. I hope you can help.

- Well, that's what I'm here for. - Good.

It's the church restoration fund, you see.

Ah.

- There's a shortfall. - Really?

But it was due a huge boost from Mr Jack Randall,

the wealthy hotelier.

I take it you're not here to tap my medical knowledge, Vicar.

Correct. I've come to enlist your services as a bell ringer.

What?

You're not unfamiliar with the craft, I understand?

Oh, no, no, no, but that was some time ago.

No matter. This is a crisis.

Mr and Mrs Randall were married in Aidensfield church

with all bells blazing.

Now they want the same for their daughter's wedding

and he's donating a large cheque to make sure that it happens.

Yes, but surely you have your regular bell ringers.

Well, that's just it. I haven't.

Two of them have gone down sick, another's on holiday.

One of them's broken his leg.

Ah.

It was a tragic incident that brought you to Aidensfield,

but now...

I discern a purpose.

- Purpose? - The reason you were sent.

What, to ring bells?

To save the fabric of our church.

Yes, but surely, just one man and a bell

isn't going to do the trick on Mr Randall's wallet.

Have faith, Doctor.

Where you lead, others will follow.

Right.

♪ Matthew & Son, the work's never done

♪ There's always something new

♪ The files in your head, you take them to bed

♪ You're never ever through

♪ And they've been working all day, all day, all day... ♪

PHONE RINGS

Ashfordly Police Station.

Just listen.

Who is this?

Check the expl*sive stock at High Rigg Quarry.

Perhaps you'll give me your name?

Check the records.

I gather you're back from your holidays.

Yes, that's right, my lord.

- Everything go swimmingly? - No, not exactly.

Good, good. Now,...

I've got a problem concerning High Rigg Quarry.

I think you probably know the operator.

Well, you could say that, my lord.

Mr Briggs is not the most considerate of neighbours.

Quite.

However, the nuisance to your constituents should be decreasing.

How's that, my lord?

Briggs reckons to be extracting % less stone now

than he was three years ago.

Really?

That surprises me.

Me, too, Blaketon. Me, too.

Which is why I've called you in.

- A man's voice, was it? - Yes, sarge.

Do we know what quantity of expl*sive

they keep at High Rigg quarry?

Not really, no.

Mike checks the expl*sives store on a quarterly basis,

but only to see if it's secure.

Right.

♪ Call out the instigator

♪ Because there's something in the air

♪ We got to get together sooner or later

♪ Because the revolution's here

♪ And you know it's right... ♪

Twist.

Bust.

points. Good enough.

Er...no.

- . - Oh!

Hang on!

Eight, nine, seven, three!

- That's ! - You're joking.

- Who's won, then? - I have.

- What, again? - David!

You should stick to Snap

and preferably, play with someone who's got a stammer.

Scripps' Speakeasy?

Oh, hello, Doctor. What can we do for you?

Oh, there's no hurry, no hurry.

- Fancy a hand, Doctor? - Yes, but I've calls to make.

Pity, I'm on a roll.

Mind you, I wouldn't like taking money off you,

no after you prescribed those pills.

Did the trick, did they?

Not an ache or a twinge since.

I said, 'If Doctor Alway ever needs a favour,

he's only got to come here.'

Really?

There's a coincidence.

So who has a key to the expl*sives?

Me and Mal. What's this about?

I don't understand it.

- Something missing, Mal? - Yeah.

What?

I'll give you a list.

You realise, I have to report this to the relevant authority.

Why? They've better things to do than worry about bookeeping errors.

Is that what these are, Mr Hutton? Bookeeping errors?

Not on my watch.

Step outside, would you, Mal?

He's made a cock-up. All right, I'll get shot of him.

Is that enough blood on the carpet for you?

MIKE: Do we leave it? MERTON: We can't.

This wasn't a bookeeping error,

there's a worrying amount of expl*sives on the loose.

What then?

We need to find the man who made that phone call

and get Ventress to run some checks on all quarry employees.

♪ I got no bags and bags to slow me down

♪ I'm traveling so fast my feet ain't touching the ground

♪ Traveling light... ♪

MIKE: Ah, here he is.

Nice motor.

Another spot check?

No, no. No point.

You obviously give this one all the attention it needs.

Is it paid for?

None of your business. What's up?

Somebody called the station but didn't leave a name.

They gave us information about High Rigg quarry.

Was it you?

No.

Well, we think it's somebody with a grudge,

against the quarry and Mal Hutton, in particular.

And why would that be me?

Well, he sacked you, didn't he?

Who told you that? Mal Hutton?

You don't want to believe what he says.

Are you still working there?

They couldn't do without me, could they.

Anyway, I'm off inside.

Keep your hands off that coachwork, all right?

Recognise the voice?

Maybe. Maybe not.

JAMES: First of all, I've got to choose which bell.

Vernon, you go to that one.

VERNON: This is a daft idea. JAMES: No, no. Be patient.

We'll do it step by step. David, you take that one there.

Bernie, come on.

Go and grab that one there. I'll take this one.

Now, stand by your ropes.

First of all, before you do anything else,

undo the knots on your ropes and drop the rope to the ground.

All right? And don't do anything else now.

All of you spread one hand right up, like that,

and put the thumb to your nose.

Now, that's the distance.

David, come on. Come on.

OK? Now, the next thing is grab the rope,

and try to feel the weight of the bell on the rope.

No, no.

Don't pull yet, David. What do you feel?

The furry bit?

That's the Sally. Can you feel the tension?

Not half. I'm sweating cobs and I've not made a sound.

I thought you said you'd rung a bell before.

Yeah, but it was outside a fish bar in Filey.

Oh...

Bernie, can you feel it?

Yes, Doctor. In fact, I think I'll have to pay a visit.

What?

Oh, for pity's sake, Bernard!

It's the cold stone, Vernon. It does it for me every time.

Oh!

All right, go on then. Hurry up.

Has it come through the op?

Looks like it.

So, let's take it for a spin round the carpet as a road test.

Don't push it.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather go out tonight?

Positive. This is great.

You seem a bit preoccupied.

What's going on?

Oh, nothing.

Is this something to do with the VIP's visit?

Yes, sort of.

I thought you were quite relaxed about that.

Well, I was,

but now some expl*sives seem to have gone missing

from High Rigg quarry.

And you think there's a connection?

It's highly unlikely,

but when it comes to security, you've got to think the worst.

The weight of the bell carries the Sally upwards.

And then, holding onto the tail end of the rope, remember?

You pull down to put the bell into the backstroke.

Now, I'm going to do it. Watch.

BELL TOLLS

Now, I catch the Sally,

until I can feel the bell in its upright position...

..where I can hold in balance.

What happens if I let go of the rope?

You don't need to know that, David, because it's not going to happen.

Right. Now, let's see if you can all ring your own bell, shall we?

Vernon.

BELL TOLLS

Then Bernie.

BOTH BELLS TOLL

JAMES: Well done, Bernie. That's not bad. David...

No, don't look up. Don't look up.

Good, good. Vernon, you're all right.

Just keep going, erm... David.

David, Watch it. Steady. Steady!

BELLS TOLL LOUDLY

OSCAR: Hi, Mal. Nobody joining you tonight?

No.

Gina's been telling me you've had some bad news.

Aye. The sack.

The price of loyalty, eh?

Yeah, well, I'm sorry.

I gave Briggs %

and I haven't even had the benefit of the doubt.

- I'll get you another one. - Typical of you, David.

BERNIE: Nobody told us it was going to be dangerous.

Give us the usual, will you, Gina?

What happened to you?

Oh, I was, er...bell ringing.

I didn't know it was a contact sport.

I let go of the rope and it flew up

and hit me in the face.

It whipped round that church

like a tentacle in that 'Monsters From The Deep' film.

Could've decapitated all of us.

Well, you made a right racket between you.

Oh, thanks very much.

That wasn't a compliment!

Well, give us a chance, Gina. We've only just started.

You know what I'd like to learn next?

What?

- The bagpipes. - Oh!

- That's all we need... - Don't worry, Gina.

Five minutes with bagpipes, he'd strangle himself.

GIGGLES

A police check?

It seems they've found errors in the expl*sives records.

Interesting. What else have you got?

Well, I've been keeping a tally

of the trucks going over the weighbridge,

but I don't think they've all been logged.

But I need to compare my figures with Briggs' official records.

Yes, I asked him to open his books not long ago,

so if I ask him again,

he'll know he's under suspicion.

Leave it to me, my lord.

How do you propose to do it?

It's best you don't know.

We'll be meeting our VIP off the Newcastle-bound train

at : on Saturday.

I'll drive a marked car ahead of his to Fylingdale's.

Ventress, an unmarked one behind it.

You two will have two hours to k*ll before we escort him back again

to catch the : London train.

Right, how did you go on with your quarry checks, Ventress?

Well, only minor convictions

and no known political affiliations apart from union membership.

- How far back did you go? - Oh, five years.

Dig deeper.

Anyone currently working at High Rigg quarry

with a conviction, check again.

♪ I'm telling you, my friend

♪ It's got to be the end... ♪

- Very nice. - It's a south-facing garden.

It's nice and private if sunbathing's your sup of tea.

That corner over there is my favourite spot.

Shady and peaceful.

CHURCH BELLS RING

Listen to it, listen to it.

Don't look up.

That's the stuff. Not too hard. Just pull gently and straight.

Pull through. Don't look up again.

How can I help you, Councillor Blaketon?

Well, it's the usual roster of complaints,

I'm afraid, Mr Briggs.

I don't see the locals complaining when they pocket the wages.

KNOCKING Yes?

You're wanted at the weighbridge, Mr Briggs.

Back in a moment.

Sorry about that.

Do you know, I thought we were very good.

I felt a bit of confidence creeping in, Doctor.

Really?

When do you think we'll be knocking out a tune

instead of each other?

Oh, just a simple round evenly repeated

is ambitious enough, thank you, Vernon.

Are you done now?

- I'm sorry. Mr...? - Taswell.

I live over there

and your bell ringing has just lost me the sale of my house.

- Well, I don't really see how. - Then you must be deaf!

There's an agreement between the church

and parish council about bell ringing practice.

One hour once a week is the limit.

Yes, quite, quite, but this is something of a crisis.

I assure you, after this weekend peace will be restored.

You think prospective buyers will believe that?

Now, cut it out! Or there'll be trouble!

- Hello, Ada. - You made me jump, Mr Blaketon.

Sorry.

Look, I came to see Mr Briggs earlier.

I think I've left my hat in his office.

Oh. Help yourself, love.

Thanks.

Hey, I've just done in there, so don't make a mess.

Mr Blaketon!

ADA: I'm late as it is!

I've called in the b*mb disposal unit.

We need expert advice on this. Any news on Oscar Blaketon?

No, Sarge.

The ambulanceman said he was lucky to be in one piece.

- What about the cleaner? - She's in my car, Sarge.

I think she's a bit too shocked to talk to us.

You'd better take her home. We'll talk to her tomorrow.

I trust you're insured, Mr Briggs?

For the building, yes. But not for the paperwork.

That's gone up in flames.

Can you tell me why Oscar Blaketon was here?

No idea.

We'll need the names of everyone who had access to the office.

- Right. - As soon as you can, please.

Thank you.

Well, it wasn't an accident.

That was the b*mb disposal unit

confirming it was the same sort of material used at the quarry

and detonated by a clock device.

Have they assessed how much expl*sive was used?

Not as yet. They're getting back to me on that.

Right.

BELLS CHIME

David, what are you playing at?!

I'm practising my timing.

Your timing is impeccable!

I was having a kip!

Will you stop it?!

Bells, bells and more flamin' bells.

It's got the bells of St Paul's Cathedral on the B-side.

And you're going to join in? A jam session?

The bells of St Paul's Cathedral, and you.

Yeah, well, Dr Alway said...

Never mind what Dr Alway says!

What started out as a little favour is ending up as a flamin' liberty.

We're neglecting the taxi business, David.

But nobody's phoned!

I know nobody's phoned.

That's because when they find out it's a bell-ringing taxi driver,

they hop on a bus!

Did you see anything suspicious

while you were cleaning Briggs's office?

No.

To be honest, I wasn't as thorough as usual.

I'd got myself behind.

You wouldn't normally have been there at that time?

No. And with rushing, I probably didn't notice.

I did pick these up off the floor.

What, with the kafuffle and everything,

I went home with them in my apron pocket.

You found these on Briggs's floor?

Yes.

Any idea whose they might be?

Well, Mal Hutton's a mad Newcastle fan,

but he doesn't work there any more.

You had some fun up at High Rigg yesterday.

Yes. We understand you were there shortly after the expl*si*n.

Yes.

- Can you tell me why? - I heard the blast.

It was out of hours, I knew there were trouble.

I see. You were there to help.

Yes. Why?

It's very thoughtful, seeing as you'd just been sacked.

I've still got some mates up there.

Do you... do you recognise these?

They're keys to the expl*sives store.

- Your keys? - Used to be my keys.

Did you hand them back when you left?

Yes. Why?

Can you tell me where you were

between : and : yesterday afternoon?

I was here.

- Can anyone confirm that? - Look, what is this?

We still don't know what's happened to the expl*sives

that have gone missing, Mr Hutton,

so I'm going to have to ask you again.

Can you confirm your whereabouts yesterday?

- What have we got on Hutton? - He knows the place.

He'd have no problem getting into the offices unseen.

He had access to expl*sives and was at the scene soon after.

And what about motive?

MIKE: Briggs did the dirty on him?

People always get the sack all the time, Bradley.

They don't blow up their works.

Yes, Ventriss.

The b*mb disposal unit have called, sarge.

They say that only part of the missing expl*sives were used

on the office blast.

That's what I was afraid of.

ALF: And the name check.

They say that five at the quarry have form and it was petty stuff.

- Hutton? - He was done for affray

whilst he was in his teens. He hit a policeman at a rally.

Wonderful.

He's hardly a red under the bed.

Near enough for me.

CHURCH BELLS

- Perhaps a second viewing? - No, you're all right.

- It's too noisy. - Thanks. Bye.

SIGHS HEAVILY

- Hiya, Phil. - Gina.

I thought I'd pop in and see how Oscar is.

Doctors say we can't see him till later.

He's not having much luck, is he?

GINA: I know. And he was so chuffed about getting a job

after his holiday fiasco.

- What job? - Something for Lord Ashfordly.

He didn't say what it was,

but I think that's why he was at the quarry.

Gina, I've got to go.

Look, if you wanted a break, you only had to say.

This is not a break. We've downed ropes.

Why?

This is a sit-in in pursuit of a fair deal.

Yes. Yes. Well, I appreciate the pay isn't very good,

but this church is the heart of the community.

Isn't it worth a little self-sacrifice?

Self-sacrifice is one thing.

Naked exploitation is something else.

Vernon. The doctor isn't even a permanent resident,

and he's not complaining.

No! Cos he's pulling the smallest bell.

Do you all feel the same? David?

I speak for all of us.

Have you been elected?!

All those in favour of David being the spokesman...

All those in favour of Bernard being the spokesman...

All those in favour of Vernon being the spokesman...

Carried, with two abstentions.

TUTS

What gives you the idea Blaketon was working for me?

You didn't go to see Briggs as your private investigator?

If he did, I'm sure he'd want it kept private.

Oscar Blaketon is lucky to be alive, my lord.

The next victim might not be so lucky.

What do you mean?

MERTON: There's a quantity of expl*sives unaccounted for.

Since we have the imminent arrival of a cabinet minister to consider,

it's everyone's duty to cooperate.

I see.

Well, if you put it like that,

then yes, he probably was working for me.

May I ask why?

I suspect Briggs is defrauding me.

This is in confidence, I assume.

Well, that depends whether it's a factor, my lord.

A factor?

Oscar Blaketon may not have been an accidental victim.

Dr Alway told me of your grievances.

He says it's taken him rather longer than expected

to whip you into shape.

Whip us into shape?!

I think what I said was weld them into a unit, Vicar.

Whatever. I told Mr Randall, our benefactor,

that a little more fine tuning may be necessary.

If that's an ecclesiastical term for more beer money, carry on.

Better than beer money.

As an incentive, he's offering you all a free week

at one of his seaside hotels.

- Flippin' heck. - Sounds very fair to me.

Vernon?

Well, it's a start.

Right, all those in favour...

Eh! Just a minute!

JAMES: All those in favour...

Carried, with one abstention.

MIKE: Seems unlikely that Blaketon was the target.

- Why not? - Nobody could've predicted

him returning to the quarry.

True. Unless he'd arranged to meet somebody.

CHURCH BELLS

Were you aware that Oscar Blaketon

had the quarry under surveillance for Lord Ashfordly?

No. I'm not surprised.

He been complaining about a drop in royalty payments.

I couldn't understand it, because we'd been working as hard as ever.

- Did you tackle Briggs about it? - A number of times.

He just told me to shift some stone,

leave the brain work to him.

MUSIC: 'Boom Boom' by The Animals

♪ Boom boom boom boom

♪ Gonna sh**t you right down

♪ Take you in my arms

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ Love that is true... ♪

- What's up? - The stuff. I want rid of it.

When everything's blown over, you can put it back, like we said.

I've changed my mind.

- Why? - You're joking?

I nearly k*lled a bloke and this stuff proves it.

You sweat on it.

Move it then.

- Come on! - You don't hurry this stuff.

I reckon I'm due another payment, don't you?

Forget it.

If you want to carry on with this, you're going to have to give.

I don't have to give you anything.

I wouldn't say that.

Anytime I say the word, you could go down.

And you with me? That's not a very bright idea.

Now you've destroyed the files for me, there's no evidence.

I've done with you, Copley.

I'm warning you.

Save your breath and shut your trap.

You nearly k*lled a bloke, remember.

♪ You're knocking me out

♪ Right off my feet ♪

Drinks all round, Gina. The doctor's paying.

Have you lot packed up ringing for the night?

Well, I can still hear them.

Not for much longer, Gina. Tomorrow's the big day.

GINA: I hope it's all worthwhile. DAVID: The vicar thinks so.

You know, he's asked some stonemasons

to copy our faces and stick 'em on the church wall,

so we're remembered. What do you call them?

Gargoyles, David!

Done your worst, have you, Alway?

Ah, good evening, Mr Taswell.

Don't good evening me, you bell-ringing buffoon.

Hang on a minute,

that's our tower captain you're talking to.

I'm not singling him out. You're all buffoons!

- Right! - No, no, no. No, Vernon.

Mr Taswell, I'm genuinely sorry if we've inconvenienced you.

Apologies won't bring back house purchasers.

Maybe not.

But remember, these men have been doing this in a good cause

for practically nothing, isn't that right?

Practically nothing.

- A few pounds, at most. - And the holiday bonus.

David.

Mr Randall is sending us to the seaside for free,

as an incentive.

We've been to see Lord Ashfordly.

Oh, I see.

You left your hat in order to go back to the quarry. Right?

- Right. - So, come on.

Tell me what you know.

I've been watching the lorry loads going over the weighbridge,

just to see if the records tallied with the amount of stone going out.

Did anyone know what you were up to?

I don't think so.

You're not thinking that device was meant for me.

It was on a timer.

Your return visit couldn't have been predicted, could it?

- No. - You were probably why it was set.

Somebody's got their wind up.

At first, Mal Hutton seemed to be the only one with a motive.

Anyhow, now the records have gone up in flames,

it'll be almost impossible to get to the truth.

Never say die.

Just before I went out with a bang, I managed to take some snaps.

- You know, I'm going to miss this. - Miss what?

Well, all this being welded into a unit.

I've never been part of a team before.

Not that I've been chosen for anything before.

I'm sorry I'm late. I got held up at the surgery.

But I'm glad to see you've all been limbering...

..up.

No, well, conserving energy's good too, you know?

Right, men. Come on.

Let's stand by our ropes for a last big pull, eh?

Here we go.

OK?

Let's ring the bells.

The treble's going.

She's gone.

SILENCE

It may be me, but I can't hear a sound.

We've come to report the theft of church property.

Well, you'd best give me some details then.

- We've lost our clappers. - Have you? What about the theft?

VERNON: We don't need any jokes, Alf.

We've lost the clappers out the church bells.

What's more, we know who's got them.

Get your best man and let's go kick in his door.

Oh, Vernon...

We'll get someone round after the weekend.

- What? - The wedding's today.

We're very stretched today. We've got something on.

We'll take matters into our own hands.

Don't be stupid.

- No, no, no. - Don't worry, Vicar.

We've got the big man on our side. Come on.

Vernon, please.

Just...

When the weighbridge man takes his break,

Briggs makes it his business to take over.

He also does another stint at the end of each day.

So what are you saying? He waves lorries through?

Not all the lorries, just one.

Have you got a registration?

There.

Hang on. This is the one we stopped for a spot check.

It's got a loose tailgate.

Have you got a date and a time?

I've got a date, time and name.

But according to this,

the lorry never made a journey at all that morning.

Well, well.

Get out of this one, Mr Briggs.

MIKE: I think Briggs knew Blaketon was onto him.

If Copley was the accomplice, what was Hutton?

A nuisance. He started asking questions.

So, they conspired to frame him

and destroy the records at the same time?

That's my guess.

You've proved that Briggs was defrauding Lord Ashfordly,

but that doesn't help us find the missing expl*sives.

- Go and lean on Copley. - Right.

But watch the time. I want you at the train station as planned.

- We are only here to talk to him. - Of course.

With one foot on his throat while we're doing it.

No, nothing like that, I beg you.

Now, listen. Vicar, if you're going to be lily-livered about it,

you should've kept out like Dr Alway.

Neville Chamberlain didn't do any good by appeasement.

But remember what Churchill said, "Jaw-jaw is better than w*r-w*r."

What do you want?

You know what we want.

Yes, I do, and I've got 'em right here.

♪ Last night, I saw a strange movie

♪ Everyone was in bed

♪ Last night, it made me feel groovy... ♪

What do you want? I'm busy.

I've come to ask you about the day we stopped your lorry.

Seems the weighbridge didn't log you out that morning.

Did Briggs wave you through?

Ask him. I don't work there no more.

He's finished with you, has he?

- I'm saying nowt. - It's in your interests to talk,

Mr Copley.

Yeah? Hang myself, while Briggs gets off scot-free?

It's not gonna happen.

Pull the other. The records went up in smoke.

Not before Blaketon collected enough evidence

to hang both of you.

Did you take the expl*sives?

Come on. You're in deep trouble. Do yourself a favour.

Hutton was getting nosey. It were a way to get rid of him.

Did you set the device?

Yeah. But it were Briggs' idea to torch the records,

and frame Hutton.

Where are the expl*sives now?

Last I saw them, they were in the boot of Briggs' car.

Disastrous. It's an absolute disaster.

Bye, Vicar.

Well, that's our holiday on the coast gone for a burton.

You never appreciate a clapper till it's gone.

Well, it's just all that rehearsal. I've thought of nothing else.

It's just like bells, bells and more bells.

David!

You've just given me a brilliant idea.

MUSIC: 'The Hurricane' by Georgie Fame

He's not there. He's gone to a meeting in Newcastle.

He'll be on the same train as the Defence Minister.

♪ Everbody knows they'll be sh**t' when he gets into town

♪'Cause everywhere he goes trouble always seem to follow him 'round...

- You're cutting it fine. - We got delayed with Copley.

He told us the missing expl*sives were in the boot of Briggs's car.

Some of it was gelignite in an unstable state.

Where's Briggs now?

He's due to catch the : to Newcastle.

From here? So, what are we looking for?

A green Alfa Romeo.

♪ And his name is 'The Hurricane'

♪ Packing halls

♪ Potting balls

♪ And they call him 'The Hurricane' ♪

Are you sure you can manage those records, Doctor?

Well, I'm sorry.

I can't imagine what all the purists will say about this.

Purists be hanged.

It's only Jack Randall we've got to satisfy.

MUSIC: 'The Hurricane' by Georgie Fame

♪ And his name

♪ Is 'The Hurricane'

♪ Packing halls

♪ Potting balls... ♪

HOOTS

♪ 'The Hurricane'

♪ Hot shot...

MERTON: Any sign?

He's not on the platform or in the waiting room.

- No, sarge. - Maybe he's changed his plan.

Sarge, he's here.

BRAKES SCREECH

You two, after him. And keep him away from here.

♪ It's his game

♪ Brought him fame

♪ And his name

♪ Is 'The Hurricane

♪ Packing halls

♪ Potting balls

♪ And they call him

♪ 'The Hurricane'... ♪

Suppose the stuff's in there?

We'll cross that bridge if we catch him.

At least he's heading out of town.

Come on, Phil. We're losing him.

PHIL: He's giving us the slip.

CHURCH BELLS

BELLS PEAL

- Such a fine English tradition. - Lovely, yes.

- So uplifting. Do come in. - Thank you.

♪ Packing halls

♪ Potting balls

♪ And they call him

♪ 'The Hurricane'

♪ It's his game

♪ Brought him fame

♪ And his name

♪ Is 'The Hurricane'

♪ Packing halls

♪ Potting balls

♪ And they call him

♪ 'The Hurricane'... ♪

MERTON: Where is it, Briggs?

Where's what?

MIKE: What were you doing in the barn?

Call of nature.

Don't play games, Briggs. Come on.

- Where's the expl*sives? - What expl*sives?

Briggs, stop messing us around.

I swear I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't care what state he's in. I'm going to cuff him.

You may now kiss the bride.

APPLAUSE

David, move it. We're on.

RECORD CRACKLES

SPEAKERS PLAY: 'From Now Until Forever'

♪ From now until forever

♪ We'll build our love together

♪ A love that doesn't fade with time

♪ A love I know will always bind ♪

What?

Listen, you great, daft lummock!

Oh, Vicar, really, I'm very, very sorry.

No need to apologise.

How did you know this was their song?