12x07 - Dirty Len

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

SCREAMING

Leave me!

TRICIA: We have to get you to hospital.

I daren't give him any more sedatives.

Has he had any accidents recently?

Because I'm afraid it looks very much like tetanus.

- I'll go ahead and clear the way. - All right.

Traffic cones. That's all I'm asking for.

- Traffic cones. - Yes.

On the sea front, to mark out a reserved parking area.

- Mrs Beresford... - I can't have my old folk

trekking all the way from the car park.

For a start, one of them's on a walking frame.

I want them set down right by the beach.

I'm not disagreeing with you.

I'm just saying it's the Whitby police you need to see.

Sergeant Merton, I'm a very busy woman,

and you are my local officer.

I'm sure I can leave it to you, yes?

- Well... - Good.

Ring up Whitby and tell them what she wants.

- Me, Sarge? - Yes, you.

SIGHS Right.

What is it, exactly? The Aidensfield old folks' outing?

It's organised by the Ashfordly Rotary Club.

Whitby'll know all about it. It happens every year.

- So, what's she got to do with it? - Her husband's a Rotarian.

Mind you, who's going to drive the charabanc

now that Vernon's away?

Don't ask me.

What do you mean, Vernon's not here?

- He's gone away. - Gone away?

Urgent business is what he said.

BEEPING

Harriet, Amanda, will you stop that at once?

And he definitely won't be back in time?

I'm afraid not.

But there's no need to worry. David's a perfectly good driver.

Mr Scripps, I don't think you quite understand.

Vernon was going to drive, and look after the old folk.

Quite honestly, I don't think David's quite up to that, do you?

- I don't see why not. - Well, I do.

Can you imagine someone him looking after the old people?

Of course you can't. It's too bad. Really, it is.

Where am I going to find another helper

at such short notice?

You couldn't come along, I suppose?

No! I mean, um...

I'd like to, but I can't leave the garage.

We gave him the antitoxin as soon as we got to casualty.

It didn't make any difference.

Oh, come on. You did the best you could.

Yeah, I know. I just don't understand it.

- What's up with her tonight? - A patient died.

Yeah, Len Fairchild. Worked up at the Kirkbys'.

The tetanus case? He actually died, did he?

Yeah.

You get it from dirty wounds, don't you?

Yes, and apparently, he was a walking health risk,

absolutely filthy.

Yeah, well, that's Len for you.

Don't think he had a bath the whole of his life.

Eh-up.

Oh, no, tell her I'm out.

Ah, Oscar! Just the man.

Change of plan.

I've been let down

by Vernon Scripps, so I'm going to need you

on the outing. - Me?

Yes.

Well, I can't look after old people

on my own, now, can I?

I'm very sorry, Mrs Beresford, but I really can't leave the bar.

Yes, you can, Oscar.

I can cope. Go on.

You go have a nice day out at the seaside with Mrs Beresford.

It'll do you good.

You are a member of the Rotary Club, Oscar.

That's true, but I'm not very good on beaches.

That doesn't matter.

So long as I have somebody, and there really is no-one else.

- Go on. - I'll have to cancel otherwise.

- Don't be a spoilsport. - Just shut up, the pair of you.

And they're all so looking forward to it.

My father's been simply counting the days.

- Saturday? - Yes.

- The seaside? - Oh, Dad!

I've told you about it time and time again.

I don't remember.

Oh, yes, you do. We booked your seat weeks ago.

What about my birds?

It's all arranged.

Harriet and Amanda are going to pop up and check them.

I'll not take no for an answer.

You are coming. I'll pick you up at nine o'clock.

MRS BERESFORD: Megan!

Megan!

Megan, come back here at once! Megan!

No control whatsoever. Hopeless.

I see.

So, how long will that take?

Right. You let me know as soon as you hear.

Thanks.

I'm just popping out for some bickies.

- Is everything all right? - Oh, um...

it wasn't tetanus. - What?

Len Fairchild, he didn't die of tetanus.

- So, what was it? - They're not sure.

They've got to do more tests.

I got it wrong, Jen.

I misdiagnosed him and he died.

He was just a young man.

- Look, Tricia... - No, I should've saved him.

DOG WHIMPERS Megan? Oh, Megan.

Megan?

Megan?

Megan?

Help! Somebody help!

- Is there anything I can do? - Oh, Mr Bradley, it's my dog.

This is Mike Bradley. This is the new vet from Elsinby.

Andrew Lawrence.

I'm afraid I was too late to save Mrs Beresford's dog.

She just gave a little whimper. As soon as I saw her, I knew.

She was doing this awful twitching.

MIKE: What was it? Heart attack?

No. Looks more like some kind of poisoning to me.

Poisoning?

Where did you take her for a walk this morning?

Where I always go, up at Father's.

Across the footpath at the Kirkbys'?

Yes. She was fine.

Just her usual happy self.

Oh, I'm sorry! It's just a shock.

Twitching, did you say?

Severe muscular spasms.

A man died at that farm yesterday from tetanus.

- Tetanus? - Similar sort of symptoms.

No, Mike. Tricia just heard from the labs.

It wasn't tetanus after all.

They say it could've been poisoning.

PHIL: Isn't this a bit awkward,

with Len recently dead and everything?

MIKE: It is, and Merton says whatever we do,

don't let them think we connect the two deaths.

- Otherwise they might clam up. - Yeah.

So, just talk about the dog, then?

Yeah.

- Very picturesque... - Actually, Phil.

I think I'd better go in on my own.

They're pretty suspicious when it comes to us lot.

Fine.

It might be an idea, though, to have a look around,

see what you can see.

Great!

Poison, you say?

That's what the vet thinks, and the dog was on your land.

Look, I'm sorry to bother you at a time like this,

when you've just heard about Len, but I have to ask...

have you by any chance been putting down poison?

No.

Are you quite sure about that? Mr Kirkby?

Aye. Quite sure, aye.

So, what sort of poisons do you keep on the farm?

I mean, most farms have something on the premises.

Pesticides, insecticides, weedkiller, sheep dip?

Agrochemicals, antimony, arsenic, household cleaners,

lead, Lysol, mercury, organophosphates, oxalic acid,

Valium... There are so many.

OK, for a start, which ones would k*ll both dogs and humans?

If that's what happened.

If Celia's dog was poisoned, if Len was poisoned.

The trouble is, we're waiting for the results of two postmortems.

I could ring Andrew and pick his brains.

- Andrew? - The new vet.

- Do I gather he's attractive? - No, I'm just trying to help.

Well, he is rather nice.

Not now. I thought you were interested in Dennis.

Maybe, but if he's going to be all Scottish and buttoned up...

Hello. Can I speak to Andrew, please?

He's what?

I see.

No, no. I'll ring later.

What?

He's just been called out to the Kirkbys'.

Their dog's been found dead too.

That dog died two days ago. There were no need to fetch the vet.

PHIL: I'm sorry, but I thought,

since we've already had Mrs Beresford's dog die

after going on your land...

And a cat.

Yes, I'm afraid so.

Mrs Atkins' cat was found dead this morning,

at the edge of one of Mr Kirkby's fields.

And then there's Len.

- What's he got to do with it? - Nothing.

- What are you implying? - Not implying anything.

Let's just concentrate

on what's been k*lling these animals, shall we?

I know what k*lled that. Old age.

ANDREW: And you may well be right,

but I'd like to do a postmortem.

Well, it's daft, is that.

Let him, Ray. It's no skin off our nose, is it?

Just don't go sending us the bill afterwards.

I'm not shelling out on any dead animal,

not with the fees you charge.

- David, the coach looks wonderful. - Oh, thank you.

Mrs Beresford's got me these seaside clothes

I've got to wear as well.

She's making Mr Blaketon wear a... What is it?

A Panama hat.

Imagine how much he appreciates that from her.

He doesn't like her much, does he?

He doesn't like being told what to do, that's what.

After a lifetime of ruling the roost in the police station,

he can't take it.

Hope you've got permission for all that?

OSCAR: You what?

BERNIE: Mrs B's most particular.

She can hardly object to cherryade, Bernie,

not when she's getting it free.

Mind you, that woman is capable of anything.

Jenny?

Hi.

I've just had a message from your fried, Andrew.

The postmortem results are through.

It was poison, strychnine.

- Strychnine? - Found in the stomach contents

of all three animals. - Did you say strychnine?

Yeah, I did, Bernie, unfortunately.

And Andrew says, until they find where the stuff is,

no-one should let their animals out of their sight.

- Right. - I'll see you back at the surgery.

- OK. - Alfred?

Alfred, come here!

ALFRED WHIMPERS

Jen? I've found it.

Here we are.

"Strychnine is rapidly absorbed by mouth.

Toxic effects begin within minutes.

Severe spasms may tear the muscles from the tendons..."

Oh, that's awful. "...patient fully conscious,

intense pain, cyanosis,

death from respiratory or heart failure.

g to g can be fatal."

So, the symptoms are the same in humans as in animals?

And fit exactly with what happened to Len.

Look, I know we don't have the results of the postmortem yet,

but you've got to agree,

Len's death looks like more than a coincidence.

We should at least phone the police and warn them.

- Jen? - Listen to this...

"Strychnine poisoning can easily be confused with tetanus.

The symptoms are identical."

There you are, you see. You didn't make a mistake.

- I did. - An understandable mistake,

which anyone in your position could've made.

Yeah, and if I hadn't made it, he might still be alive.

Who'd have strychnine round here?

ALF: "Nux-vomica..."

It's in rat poison, isn't it?

"The seed of a tropical tree found in the Indies."

Right, lads.

I've just had a call from Dr Summerbee,

and the situation is more serious than we first thought.

MERTON: Not only do we have

three confirmed animal deaths from strychnine poisoning,

but now it seems that Len Fairchild could've been a victim too.

Blimey!

It's not confirmed yet, but he had all the symptoms.

- It says here, sir. - Yes, Ventress.

So we need to find out who's got the stuff.

And quick. - Right.

The only people who can legally possess it

are mole-catchers, of course, under licence.

I've checked with the ministry

and there are no licence holders in the area.

So, we're looking at illegal possession?

And as far as I'm concerned, the evidence points squarely

at the Kirkbys.

Except they keep saying

there's no poison on that farm at all.

- Well, they would say that. - Exactly.

Which is why we need to mount a thorough search.

ALF: Erm, what they used to do in the old days

was use it as bait.

They'd sprinkle it on a dead sheep or a rabbit,

and then they'd stake the animals down,

so they wouldn't get dragged off,

then foxes and crows would see it and think,

"Oh, there's a nice meal," and dive down.

Thank you, Ventress. Very interesting

Let's get a move on. There's a deadly poison out there.

Anyone might pick it up. Anyone at all.

BARKING

DAVID: Alfred, behave!

Sorry. Come on.

What do you think this is? Crufts?

DAVID: Sorry, Mr Blaketon.

I can't let him out of my sight. The vet said.

I tell you what, Mr and Mrs Kirkby have a lot to answer for.

Can I have a word, Oscar?

Sorry, Alf. You'll have to speak up.

So, where was this cat found again?

Over there, and that's the path Mrs Beresford's dog walked up.

The Kirkbys' dog could've picked up the poison anywhere, of course.

Talk about needles in haystacks.

The vet said we should be looking for either the baited animal,

or something that's eaten it.

- So, say a crow ate the bait. - Yeah.

And then dropped dead, and then something ate the crow...

- Well, that'd die too, apparently. - Anything?

- Nothing, sarge. - Right.

Phil, you might as well head back to the station.

Mike and I will be paying the Kirkbys another little visit.

This time, I'm going to put the fear of God in them.

So, you don't think it's the Kirkbys?

It's just not in character.

Nobody's saying they did it on purpose, Alf.

They're not the brightest couple in the world.

I don't know. There's nothing wrong with Ray Kirkby.

I was at school with him.

He was always winning prizes for mental arithmetic.

Well, you know the sort of thing,

where the teacher fires off questions.

What are five sevens? - .

That's an easy one.

Eight sevens, that was a nasty one.

Well, Ray got it straight off. Ta, Gina.

.

So...

what's your theory, then? - Fred Caldwell.

Fred?

Oh, aye. You're thinking about that rare bird episode.

- Yeah. - .

- '. - Aye, he poisoned...

- What were they? - Montagu harrier.

He said they were frightening his grouse.

The bird people, they went mad. They wanted to take him to court.

He used strychnine, didn't he?

It was one of his under-keepers who blabbed on him.

He said he had half a sweet jar of the stuff,

enough to k*ll the whole population of Yorkshire.

And we never found it. He said he destroyed it.

He burnt it in a bonfire.

We don't know whether he did or not,

but we never had any more trouble.

And you're thinking,

"What if he didn't get rid of it? What if he kept it?"

He breeds poultry, doesn't he? - We've had a lot of foxes.

I think you're onto something, Alf.

I'd say he needs a visit.

Yes.

Of course, when I was in the Post Office,

I got to know him very well.

You can come along, if you can spare the time.

Thanks, Alf.

You have to lay it on the line with these people.

They won't say anything unless you put them under pressure.

Right.

Don't be surprised if I lose my rag.

Should be interesting, sarge.

Right, I'll get her. Trish, the latest results on Len.

Yes?

And that's definite, is it?

Hello?

Anyone at home?

- Any sign? - No, nothing.

Must be out on the farm somewhere.

This is Maisie.

She won the village show last year.

Hello, Maisie.

Must keep you busy, looking after this lot, Fred.

Aye, it does if you do it properly.

- Any trouble with foxes? - No.

Now, then, come and see my young 'uns.

These are about three weeks old.

What are they?

FRED: Light Sussex.

I call my shelves my sick animal dispensary, Oscar.

I brought them with me when I retired from the estate.

Quite a collection you've got here, Fred.

You never know when a thing might come in useful.

Cattle drench, horse tonic...

Hey, Alf, look at this.

OSCAR: . FRED: Aye.

Those were the days, eh,

when the late Lord Ashfordly was alive. Lovely, lovely days.

Quite a few poisons you've got here, Fred.

Aye... What did you come round for, Mr Ventress?

It's not just a social call, is it?

Well, a long while ago, back in the 's,

you had a big jar of strychnine.

What's happened to it? - Big jar of...?

Yeah, wou had trouble with those Montagu harriers,

and the bird protection people got on to you

because you were putting down baited rabbits.

I got rid of it, didn't I?

- Are you sure? - Quite sure.

You see, the thing is, Fred, your daughter's dog has just died

of strychnine poisoning.

Never!

It was here this morning, right as rain.

ALF: That's where it happened,

after walking up the path by your cottage.

FRED: Well, that's where she took it,

and then it ran off, as it always does.

Sometimes it chases Ray Kirkby's sheep.

So, you didn't see where it went?

Aye, I was watching from the garden.

No, don't touch it, Fred. It could've eaten poison.

I've been trying to find you.

- We're trying to find the Kirkbys. - The lab called about Len.

We were right. It was strychnine.

Len died from strychnine poisoning?

Yeah.

That's it, then. We'll have to bring the Kirkbys in,

see if we can get them to talk.

If it was their poison, they could be in big trouble,

unlawful possession, gross negligence at the very least.

Manslaughter?

That's one for the coroner.

Oh, cheer up, Oscar. You'll enjoy yourself.

- Mmm ... - Celia's all right.

Really?

Morning, Oscar. All ready for the fray?

Come on, quickly now. I've got Father out in the car.

Claimed he'd forgotten all about it. I ask you!

Oh, and Gina, I've a enormous favour to ask,

could I leave the girls with you?

- What? - Just while I'm on the outing.

I can't take them because they both get coach-sick.

Geoffrey's been called out to see a client.

So I'm really stuck.

- Would it be an awful cheek? - No. No, of course not.

Wipe the smile off your face, Oscar.

I like looking after kids.

OSCAR: First I've heard of it.

♪ Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on...

- Drive carefully. - Right.

Park where I told you on the front.

Right.

Make sure you help them all on and off the bus.

- Right. - Come on, David.

You'll have Oscar with you, and Mrs B. You'll be fine.

Just keep counting them all, make sure none of them strays.

Oscar? Would you look after Father while I tick off the names?

Hey...

Was that Mr and Mrs Kirkby?

Do you reckon they've been arrested?

I have no idea, David.

Come on, Fred. Let's get you on the bus.

I mean, for all these poisonings?

They reckon that Mr Fairchild died of it as well.

- I beg your pardon? - You know, strychnine.

Like the dogs. That means it could be m*rder.

Just drop it, David. We're supposed to cheering them up,

not worrying them sick.

Come on, Fred. On the bus.

Up the other end. Can you manage?

Into that driving seat, and remember everything I told you.

- Alfred, come on. - Keep an eye on Alfred.

No, no, no. I'm sorry, but no dogs.

I'm not going without him, not with all this poisoning around.

- David... - I'm sorry.

If I can't take Alfred,

you'll just have to find yourself another driver.

You'd better give him a bath in the sea then,

as soon as we get there.

I think he's rolled in something.

- Have a jolly nice time. - Yeah, thanks, Bernie.

What is all this? Are you arresting us?

Of course not.

We just need to have a little chat in the light of fresh information.

What information is that, Sergeant?

I'm afraid it may come as something of a shock.

We heard yesterday afternoon

that Len Fairchild didn't die of tetanus at all.

He died from strychnine poisoning.

Oh, aye?

Which means that he, two dogs, and a cat have all died from it.

MIKE: All very near your farm.

We've never had anything like this happen before.

Never.

MERTON: So, what's the explanation?

How would you explain it, Mr Kirkby?

The poison we're talking about is lethally dangerous.

Just a few milligrams can k*ll.

I believe you only need to get some on your fingers,

lick them and that's enough.

MERTON: Exactly, which is why we need to find the stuff

urgently, as a matter of public safety.

I'll ask you again.

Have you put poison down anywhere at all on your farm?

It's good for moles, strychnine is.

Aye.

So, is that what you've done, put it down for the moles?

Us?

Yes!

- We don't have moles. - No.

It's a rum business...

All them animals...

- Then our Len. - Aye, it is.

How much did you say it took to k*ll someone?

MUSIC: 'Beachcomber' by Bobby Darin

CHEERING

- Hello, there. - How are you doing?

In Aidensfield again?

Sure, I just can't seem to keep away from the place.

Actually, I've been picking up dead crows, of all things.

Dead crows?

To do with this poisoning business.

The police found them yesterday beneath a tree at Fred Caldwell's.

- Not strychnine again? - That's what I've got to find out.

Hi. Have you met Andrew, the new vet from Elsinby?

- This is Gina who runs the pub. - Very pleased to meet you, Gina.

You'll have to call in for a drink sometime.

I'll fill you in on the neighbourhood gossip.

Aye, I will. I'll do that. I'll see you.

I hope so.

- That was bit keen, wasn't it? - No.

Yes, it was. You were flirting with him.

No, I wasn't.

Well, I don't think a certain person would've liked it.

Not trying to make the old man jealous, are you?

If you mean Dennis, certainly not. And he's not old either.

CLEARS THROAT All right, I'm coming.

I've got these two for the day, haven't I,

while Mummy's on a day out.

We're just off to the swings.

- Come on. - Mind you, it's a good idea.

- What? - To gee Dennis up a bit.

Oh, aye? Why's that, then?

You know, he's just a bit...reserved.

Ta-ra. Come on.

♪ I can think of nothing better

♪ Than dancing on the beach

♪ See a girl, you can go and get her

♪ Your troubles will be out of reach

♪ On the beach

♪ You can dance to rock'n'roll ♪ On the beach

♪ Hear the bossanova played with soul

♪ On the beach

♪ You can dance, twist and shout ♪ On the beach

♪ Everybody, hear me, come on out

♪ On the beach ♪ Come on, everybody

♪ Stamp your feet ♪ On the beach

♪ You can dance with anyone you meet... ♪

Come on, boy!

- Have a deck chair. - I need to get home.

Nonsense!

Oscar,

get Father settled, will you?

He's being an old silly.

OSCAR: All right.

DAVID: It'll be nice when you get in.

Oh, come on, Alfred.

Mrs Beresford's going to be angry with me.

Come on, David. Give him to me. You go and cheer up Fred.

All right. Come on, Alfred. Just you and me.

Do you fancy a paddle?

All right, please yourself. Come on.

Are you all right, Mr Caldwell?

No.

Not like the seaside much?

Not today.

It's not just all about sitting in deck chairs, the seaside.

I mean, there's...

there's paddling in the sea,

listening to the band,

shrimping. - David, lad,

tell us again what you were saying about Len Fairchild.

Er... No, I can't. Mr Blaketon said not.

He died of strychnine, did he, same as my daughter's dog?

Was that what you said?

And the cat.

And the other dog.

Anyway, how about a nice ice cream?

Eat up, girls. Then we can play Monopoly.

- We need to go to Grandad's. - OK.

But finish your ice cream first.

We don't like ice cream.

Oh, come on. I bet you do, Amanda.

- No, I don't like it either. - Come on.

Wait a minute.

I'll come with you.

MUSIC: 'Let's Have Another Party' by Winifred Atwell

MRS BERESFORD: David?

Oh, it's my treat. Don't you worry, Mrs Beresford.

That's ice creams and candy floss you've bought.

Ah, well, they're on holidays.

Hey, look what I've got here.

This is for a sand castle competition later on.

Well!

Yeah, hidden talents.

Who'd have thought it?

Come on!

Come on!

Are you two all right?

Yeah, we're just going to pick some flowers for Grandad.

- OK, then. - Won't be long.

Fred, you can start digging the tunnel from that side.

And you need a flag. This is a castle. Go get a flag.

Fred? Come on, cheer up.

I'm not in the mood.

I'm not sure that quite counts as a castle, Mrs Roberts.

Very good all the same.

OSCAR: Looks like a spaceship!

I was just wondering, the time's nearly up, so...

would you mind judging the competition for us?

Of course I wouldn't. It'd be an honour.

In fact, I'll go and buy a little prize.

You certainly cheered her up. She's almost quite pleasant.

Well, almost.

Come on.

Oh, Mandy, it's disgusting!

Hey, I know! Who fancies a little paddle, then?

MUSIC: 'Nagila' by Carlton Main Frickley Colliery Band

Come on, everybody!

- Where do you think you've been? - It's Amanda!

- Where is she? - The other side of the wood.

What's happened?

Well, I never thought I'd see Dad in the water.

He seems to be enjoying himself at last.

All credit to David, I'd say, Mrs Beresford.

Oh, please, do call me Celia.

PHONE RINGS

Dr Summerbee's surgery.

Hiya, Jenny, it's Gina. I need to speak to Tricia. Is she there?

'Hold on, Gina, I'll put you through.'

TRICIA: 'Hi, Gina. What's up?'

It's Celia's little girl Amanda.

GINA: 'She's really sick.' Do you know what's wrong?

No. Look, just get over here.

OK, calm down. Where are you?

- Fred Caldwell's cottage. - 'Stay there. I'll be right over.'

What about her mum? How are we going to tell her?

Don't worry. Stay with Amanda. I'll get Mike to find Celia.

She's taken the old folks to Whitby, hasn't she?

Yeah. Just hurry up, Tricia.

I feel we've become real friends over this trip, don't you?

- Yes. - And as for David,

I have to admit, I completely underestimated him.

He's been wonderful.

Oscar, if I've been a bit, you know...

...over the arrangements and all, I do apologise.

I was just so worried about it all.

All these old people seem such a big responsibility.

I just didn't know if I'd be able to manage.

But everything's gone perfectly, hasn't it?

Well, I think so.

MIKE: Mrs Beresford?

I'm really very sorry,

but one of your daughters has taken ill.

- Which one? - Amanda.

They're not sure what's wrong, but she's at Ashfordly Hospital.

- I can take you now if you want. - Please.

What's going on?

It's your granddaughter Amanda. She's been taken into hospital.

Oh, no, not little Amanda! Please don't...

She's in the right place, Fred. She'll be fine.

I must get back, Oscar. Please. I've got to go home!

All right, hang on.

David? Can you manage here on your own?

I've got to take Fred home.

- Where's Mrs Beresford? - There's been an emergency.

Just do what you're doing. You're doing a grand job.

Just make sure this lot are on the coach by five o'clock.

All right?

- All right. - Right, come on, Fred.

Get your shoes on.

- How is she? - Mrs Beresford, before you go in,

I should warn you she's on a ventilator.

- Oh, God! - It's OK. She's holding her own,

only we've had to sedate her heavily.

MIKE: Same symptoms as Len?

But less severe. She may be all right.

Mike, Harriet's been telling me what happened,

and I think you should hear.

WHIMPERS

Fred, come on, what is it? What are you looking for?

I've done something terrible, Oscar. Just terrible.

- Well, you can tell me. - I never got rid of that...

strychnine.

I lied to you.

It were there. I'm sure it was.

In a big sweet jar. I don't know where it is, Oscar.

Right.

If Amanda's got hold of it, I'll never forgive myself. Never!

Just hang on, Fred. Let's think this through.

When did you see it last?

I don't remember.

It's been there for years and years.

Unless I moved it.

Celia keeps telling me I'm losing my memory.

I think I'd best call Sergeant Merton.

♪ One more hour and one more day

♪ Are you counting the minutes while I'm away...

Alfred?

Alfred!

Alfred!

♪ 'Cause darling, I'll be missing you ♪

Alfred!

DAVID: Alfred!

Strychnine again. I don't believe it.

But only a tiny amount this time. She'll be fine, I promise.

All right, then, ask your questions.

Anything to help find the wicked, wicked person who's doing this.

That's a bit awkward, actually. It's about your father.

My father?

How reliable is he, Mrs Beresford?

I mean, I know his memory won't be as good as it once was.

If you mean is he senile, the answer is no.

He's just a bit forgetful, that's all.

What do you want to know?

Has he ever mentioned strychnine to you?

I'm sorry?

He's never told you about the jar in his shed,

the jar half-full of the stuff leftover from his gamekeeping days.

- What? - Well, it's been there for years.

And now he can't find it.

What's he saying?

Is he telling me my own father is responsible?

- Mrs Beresford... - Well, are you?

- There it is. - Don't touch.

All baited.

See that powder there?

Anything that tries to eat that is a goner.

Not just foxes - birds, hedgehogs...

Now, your sister definitely touched the rabbit, did she?

She was stroking it.

I feel awful, Mike.

I thought they were just picking flowers.

- I should've checked. - It's all my fault.

- No, it's not. - It is.

I was looking at that old shed.

- Whose is that shed? - I don't know.

Did you go inside?

No. It had a great big lock on the door.

Wait here a minute.

Alfred!

WHIMPERS

Alfred!

Alfred, come here!

Come here.

You bad dog! Alfred!

You bad dog!

Don't you ever do that again.

Where's David?

So, what's this, then?

Well, it's Ray Kirkby's barn. Ask him about it, not me.

Come in, please.

The shed was used by Len.

Apparently, he made a bit of extra cash selling skins.

Len Fairchild, I knew it.

All right, Mr Caldwell.

So, you knew what he was up to in here?

He asked if he could use the barn.

We never thought to look inside though, did we?

No.

- You knew he was k*lling foxes? - Yes.

MERTON: Well, how did you think he was doing it?

Didn't you never suspect he might be putting down poison?

Suspected? Yes.

MIKE: So, why didn't you tell us?

It's up to you to find out, in't it? That's your job.

Look, a child has nearly died!

Mercifully, she's all right, but she might not have been.

You knew we were dealing with a deadly poison,

and you have the cheek to say it was up to us

to find out where it was!

I've a good mind to have you both up on a charge of obstruction.

Get this jar off to Forensics before it does any more damage.

It's bad enough him not telling us

about the poison in the first place.

But your attitude disgusts me.

Totally disgusts me.

Where is he? Is he back yet?

You should never have left him in sole charge.

Not David. You know what he's like.

They should've been back ages ago.

Well, maybe he's broken down.

You'd best hop in, Bernie, and fetch that charabanc back home.

We've just had a message that David's gone missing,

and the old folks, they're stranded.

ALL: ♪ Why are we waiting?

♪ Why are we waiting?

♪ Why are we waiting... ♪

So, this Len character,

he was the one putting the stuff down?

Yes.

He must've heard that Fred Caldwell had some and nicked it, I suppose.

To k*ll foxes.

So, how on earth did he manage to poison himself?

Well, he wasn't exactly Brain of Britain.

And he never washed.

That's right. Never washed, handled the poison,

got some on his fingers, then in his food.

You only need a small amount to k*ll you, don't you, Andrew?

ANDREW: Yes, I believe so.

So, if he did it, I suppose the case is closed.

The culprit becomes his own victim.

MERTON: That's right. Can't prosecute a dead man.

- So, no charges, then? - No.

PHIL: We could charge Fred Caldwell

for illegal possession, but he's been punished enough.

Not to mention what his daughter'll say to him. Can't you just imagine?

Yeah. Well, I'm off.

- My stomach says supper time. - Me too. I'm starving.

Why break up the party?

We could ask Gina to fix us up some sandwiches. Tricia?

Oh, not for us, Jen. I've made a pasta.

See you.

I'm off to watch the football. See you tomorrow.

Phil.

And what about you, Andrew?

Uh, I'd better not. My wife will have cooked something.

See you.

- Bye, Andrew. - Ta-ra.

Looks like it's just you and me, then, Jenny.

Soup and sandwiches for two, please, Gina.

Coming up.

Damn.

Damn, damn, damn!

MUSIC: 'Stranger On The Shore' by Acker Bilk

What did you think you were doing?

You've done some things in your time,

but look at the pickle we're in now!

BARKS

It's no use you answering back to me.

Hey!

Hey!

Help!

Help!

ALL: ♪ Show me the way to go home

♪ I'm tired

♪ And I want to go to bed

♪ I had a little drink

♪ About an hour ago

♪ And it's gone right to my head

♪ No matter where I roam... ♪

- Any news, Oscar? - They're still checking.

Cheer up, Bernie. It's not the end of the world.

They've been missing for hours now. Chasing after Alfred like that...

David'd do anything for Alfred.

PHONE RINGS

Yes?

Right.

Yeah, thanks.

David's on his way back.

GINA: What happened? OSCAR: He got cut off by the tide,

had to be rescued by a fishing boat.

What about Alfred?

- Didn't mention him. - Perhaps he's lost at sea.

- Thank you, Jenny. - Sorry.

He's been picked up by the Whitby police.

He should be back here any minute.

David!

I'm so sorry, Mr Scripps.

Where's the dog?

Alfred!

ALL: Ahhh!

Right then, to celebrate the safe return

of our two sea dogs,

it's drinks on the house.

CHEERING