Two Thumbs Up (2015)

[bunniefuu]

Organizers say that 300,000 attended
today's protests against the government,

but police numbers were at 50,000.

A government spokesman said
an ad hoc committee has been formed...

KWUN TONG

...but with no results yet.
Hong Kongers are…

...a month after the Big Roach Disaster…

In a reconstruction project in Kwun Tong,

an illegal roach farm
was accidentally destroyed.

TAIPING PRISON
266 KM NORTH OF KUALA LUMPUR

Countless roaches have infested Hong Kong
for the last month,

but the government can't help.

The incident has
attracted international attention.

but roaches multiply faster
than they can be k*lled.

The roaches have paralyzed
financial operations.

Hong Kong is finished.

It's not up to you to say
if Hong Kong is finished.

The city lost two billion dollars
in a few hours.

Hong Kong really is finished.

- What does that mean?
- It's English. Don't you know that?

Too powerful to have friends.
Too powerful for words.

What do you mean,
"too powerful for words"?

as*ault, or robbery?

It still fits perfectly.
I haven't changed at all.

I still have a model's physique.

You haven't changed,
but the whole world has changed.

You don't know the world
and it doesn't know you.

You only know yourself!

EXIT

Is that necessary? Escorted in here,
and now escorted out?

Not everyone can take this step!

And it is not "To Jump Up."

- It should be "Two Thumbs Up."
- Let me tell you...

if I come back again, I'm a rotten egg.

No longer is there officer 39633
in this world. There is only me, Lucifer.

You can call me Big F.

SIXTEEN MONTHS AGO

Why does this look so familiar?

Are you from Hong Kong?
It's an emergency unit vehicle, EU.

The old ones are repurposed
as school buses.

The kids wore out the left door.
That's 2,000 dollars.

There's a market for them.
Think about it back in Hong Kong.

Have I come out of one door
just to open another?

Of course! To do a major job.
Two thumbs up!

PRISON COMMANDER

THE ALLEY SOUTH OF 266 BOUNDARY STREET
NIGHTCLUB BACK ALLEY HAIR SALON

Look at this.

Great! it's the same as before.
You see?

Just a bit younger.

Ready, Big F.

Come again.

Hello, Crazy B? Big F is back.

He didn't pay for his blow-dry.

- I'm so unlucky.
- It's only about 100 dollars.

You can't ask him for that!
Don't treat your buddies like dirt!

MINIBUS

A citizen has called in a lead.

Roach farm boss BK Cheung has been found
in Luk Keng.

It was he who made Hong Kong
a city of roaches.

Please call the police
if you see BK Cheung.

Okay! I'll pay for the last two tickets!

It's full. Let's go!

NO CHANGE GIVEN
DEPARTS WHEN FULL

- Hello, Crazy B?
- Yes?

Did you know Big F is back?
He's finally back. He paid for two people.

That's just a few coins.

- Give him his change!
- Okay.

- Don't treat your buddies like dirt!
- I'm leaving.

We're full. Let's go!

NGAU TAM MEI, NORTHEASTERN YUEN LONG

OCTOBER 31ST, HALLOWEEN

The EU after us
is not a real police vehicle.

The people sh**ting at us
are also not cops.

I've never seen a cop sh**t an AK-47.

Ours is also not a real EU.

It's a Toyota Coaster, 2003 model
with over 500,000 km.

For ten years, its route has been
Kwun Tong Road,

Prince Edward Road West,
Argyle Street, Sai Yee Street.

It's a Kwun Tong Mong Kok red van.

Sixteen minutes ago,
when we attempted a robbery in our EU,

we ran into another g*ng
with the same idea.

Identical robbery tactics.

We never imagined
that after a few kilometers,

this minibus would think it was a real EU
and we would think we were real cops.

REAL COPS

Big F...

- Big F, I've waited 16 years for you--
- Shut up! Listen to me!

I've been refining a plan for 16 years.

A decades-old plan? It will be outdated.

Marvelous ideas are never outdated.

Then we'll see
if anyone else has come up with it.

It's not easy to come up
with a marvelous idea.

We disguise ourselves as cops
for a robbery.

None of us here looks like a cop.

How many real cops look like cops?
Those are the real cops.

Drive an Emergency Unit, wear a uniform.
Anyone will think you're a cop.

I think he's right.
But where can we get an EU?

I know where to buy one.
Where you can buy one, you can sell one.

- You can steal one there.
- So we steal one. What do we rob?

Banks, gas stations, goldsmiths,
convenience stores,

whatever you like.

People use credit cards, debit cards
and cash cards.

No one uses cash!
CCTV cameras are everywhere!

- You can't get shit!
- What's wrong with you, Crazy B?

We're robbers. We have to rob!

No knife? Find a brick, rob something,
buy an AK, trade up to a bazooka.

If you're gonna eat shit,
make it the smelliest.

If you' re gonna rob,
make it the biggest place. Two thumbs up!

We get it, you're powerful!

Everyone else eats food and shits poop.
It's powerful to eat poop and shit food.

If you're so powerful,
why don't you go eat shit?

Are you in this or not?

If you're not, we'll go by ourselves.

Sit down.

- What's wrong?
- What?

Give it back! It's very expensive.
You still owe me for your last blow-dry!

I'll pay when we've stolen money.
I'll even pay for haircuts forever, okay?

I'm on your side right now!
We are robbers. It is right that we rob.

But we must share the same goal
from the start, do you understand?

Are we all here? If we're full, let's go.

Call me when you have everyone.

You have reached the messaging service.
Please leave a message after the beep.

We will notify the recipient
as soon as possible.

Scumbag! Where did you go? Scumbag!

What weapons do you have? Jets? Cannons?

You were gone for days.
You treat your buddies like dirt.

Crazy B, bad news!
You were right not to come.

Big F left on the speedboat.

But he said
you treat your buddies like dirt.

Crazy B, where are you?
Where were you? It all went bad!

MISSED CALLS

Big F had to leave town.
He said you treat your buddies like dirt.

BIG F, ANSWER?

Treat your buddies like dirt…

Treat your buddies like dirt…

I didn't! I didn't!

- Treat your buddies like dirt…
- I didn't!

Those scumbags locked me up for days!
I didn't treat my buddies like dirt.

Bowling alley.

Bad daughter.
You don't even greet your father.

Calling to check I'm at work?

It's been two weeks and seven days.

The boss is so friendly to me.

You're calling each other buddies,
Mr. Chou?

That's good!
I don't want to find you another job.

We have to steal corpses.

Some people remove corpses’ innards,
stuff money in them...

and fill the corpse with money.

They use these cross-border services
to bring dirty money into Hong Kong.

CROSS- BORDER CORPSE TRANSPORTATION

Why? The cost of living is too high
in Hong Kong.

Many move back to their hometowns,
but are buried in Hong Kong.

So, lots of bodies need to be shipped.

With a system you can hide anything.
Crematoriums use this to move money.

So, now we've gone beyond robbery.
We're not just doing this for money...

but to uphold justice!

If we don't rob those scumbags,
we are not doing justice to heaven

nor to our ancestors.

They will be buried
with an incomplete corpse! Imagine!

If they did this to your mother,
your father, your brother,

wouldn't you do something about it?

Back in the day, you were a champion
car racer nicknamed "Never looking back."

Now you drive a minibus
called "Not starting up."

- It's been so long, you must be used--
- Used to what?

Don't get used to it!
Why must four of us share a lane?

We should each take up four lanes!

- And you--
- What about me? I'm okay.

I style masseuses' hair in the alley.
What's wrong with that?

You're cutting hair for streetwalkers.
No wonder your girlfriend dumped you.

We should do a major job.
Is that okay or not? Okay?

Well, Crazy B?

Crazy B, how about what you owe me?
How will you pay me back what you owe me?

Excuse me, gentlemen. It's closing time!

Please pay your tab.

Thanks.

It's 473 dollars, 50 cents.

You have to chip in a few hundred bucks.

Here's mine.

- Shall I treat you?
- You're too kind. I'll pay for this.

- Take it off my paycheck.
- In your dreams.

- Have you worked here a month yet?
- Must you talk like that?

I treat you as an elder brother.
You treat my buddies like dirt.

If these are your buddies,
then you deserve to be treated like dirt.

I quit!

The sooner I die,
the sooner I'll be reincarnated.

Steal that vehicle!

The sooner we work,
the sooner we'll enjoy the rewards.

That is a police car graveyard.
All the old, dead EUs are brought here.

Those police transport vehicles
are all wrong.

The Traffic Department classifies vehicles
with H-beams under the chassis as trucks,

not passenger vehicles.

OUT OF SERVICE

In the past,
all police vehicles were illegal.

You never would have thought
the cops would be breaking the law.

HONG KONG WING WAH

Really? You want to steal these?
The cops must keep records.

I don't want to steal these.
I just brought you to see them.

We've seen them,
and all we can do is see them. Now what?

You might use more than your eyes
to see things.

Robbers must have imagination.

See.

Do you see it now?

No g*ns? Make one.
No vehicle? Soup one up!

We used to make AKs out of revolvers.

Now, we transform a minibus into an EU.

This is our 16-seater EU.

It sounds cool...

but I don't know why it feels stupid.

Looking upside down at an upside down
Hong Kong, it should look right.

But it seems strange!

This fully-equipped, 7,800kg EU
fell down from a 16-meter flyover

and flipped 180 degrees!

My number is 39633.

My name is Tsui On Leung.

Today is my first day back as 39633
and in my uniform again.

Sixteen weeks ago, I was undercover in
Operation "Lost in Time"

aimed at gangsters controlling
the "Tin- Tong line,"

the minibus line from
Tin Shui Wai to Kwun Tong.

Out of uniform,
I did not recognize myself.

I didn't know
if I was a cop or a bus driver.

Should I catch thieves with a g*n
or drive passengers?

I couldn't take it,
and went back to the station.

A g*n, a wok...

and a minibus.

Which do you think
can help you catch thieves?

You don't have to rely on a uniform.
It's not important what you wear.

He is my elder brother.

His undercover mission went on
for three and then another three years.

He thinks you can catch thieves
whatever you wear.

My police cap is gone! I never thought
that by looking for the cap,

I would finally understand, 16 days later,

that one can look at the world
upside down.

Heroes have more than one angle.
They have 360 degrees!

DOUBLE STAR JUNKYARD

- Where is the flipped-over EU?
- It was cleared by the vehicle pound

and written off as a total loss.
It's waiting to be junked.

Have you seen my police cap?
My police cap is caught in the door.

No.

- Fill out the form. Apply for a new one.
- No, that cap is important to me.

My police cap and the door are gone.

This isn't the only one
missing a side door.

That one is missing a back door.

Thirty-two parts have been dragged
across here.

Six vehicles are missing doors,

some are missing hoods, bumpers,
rearview mirror, wipers,

mud guard, window grille,
head and tail lights, siren lights…

Put all these parts together
and you get a complete EU vehicle.

They're stealing parts to make an EU!

Who are these people?
What do they want to do?

Criminals leave clues at the scene,
like you leave your smell on your clothes.

The crime scene can speak.

It tells me there were four people.

Drawer, glove compartment, visor.

All 40 compartments in 20 EUs
have been opened.

He takes every opportunity to find money.

He is greedy. He'll do anything for money.

Let's call this suspect "A".

"A" is the arrogant type of criminal.

My police cap is caught
in the door he stole.

Unlike "A", "B" has cleaner moves.
He's a pro.

Loves machines, experienced.

Kills roaches with a spray
chilled to -75 degrees

He uses his skills in his crimes!

A typical professional criminal.

A dried wet wipe made to clean shoes.

"C" must have high standards
to be so picky about cleaning his shoes.

He is the perfectionist criminal.

There are two footprints on this poop,
facing in opposite directions.

To step in poop twice
on a 3.5-meter-wide path,

D either has vision problems,
or chooses not to look at anything.

These 38 overlapping, chaotic footprints
belong to the team's most loyal follower

who has no opinions or ideas of his own.

It's done.

It's done.
It's so difficult to be a thief.

It's always difficult
to do something well.

Why couldn't we use a can of white paint
and spray it white?

Write "Police" on it, and it's done.
All these steps! Are you stupid?

Spray it white.
It's a white minibus.

Spray yourself black.
You're a black thief.

So deep.

We can snap off the shell.
It will become a minibus again,

and we can take paying passengers.
We'll make over 100 dollars, buddies!

Don't you think we're missing something?
We don't have g*ns!

We certainly can't use these.
They're all rusty. Useless, like you!

Hey, I worked hard
to keep these four g*ns.

Don't talk about the past any more.
We need g*ns to rob people.

Police! Hands up!

You didn't say "Don't move."

Police! Don't move! Hands up!

How can I put my hands up if I don't move?
Stupid!

It works. We look the part.

Hey, we look better in these uniforms
than real cops.

Come over here.

I don't look like a cop.
What cop has this much style?

- Come on.
- Let me take the picture…

- Come on…
- Cool.

I don't like the look of you.
Where did you come from, boy?

- Wait--
- Why won't you answer?

Show me your ID card, show me!

Or I'll charge you
for attacking an officer.

Don't move! Hands up!

Obviously not like that!
Hands on the wall.

Spread your legs. Like this.

Of course not! You're too gentle.
Like this: left, then right…

- Hey--
- Did you bring it?

That's not patting down.
You're copping a feel.

You do it if you're so smart.

Wearing all those bright colors.

So indecent!

And without a bum!

- Without a bum!
- Hey.

Are you done fooling around?
Who are you calling a bum?

Why am I a bum?

What are you saying?

Because I went to jail in Malaysia
for you.

They whipped me until my bum bled.
"Without a bum."

Watch what you say.
Not everyone in a uniform is a cop,

nor is everyone in designer brands
a celebrity.

No matter what we wear, we're robbers!

- We're scumbags!
- About that--

- You're a scumbag who betrays buddies.
- About that--

Don't talk about that.
I don't want to listen.

You can say what you want, but I can't?

Stop talking! I don't want to listen!

- You can talk and I can't?
- Yes! Can't you accept that?

You want to be a robber? A scumbag?

We're going to rob that transport truck.

Everyone's here. Let's go!

Alright, let's go!

Don't leave anything behind!

You don't know you've left it
until you need it.

ART BEATS NATURE

Alright?

Let's go!

Hey!

Roger that! Wrong button, sir!

Let's go.

Oh, shit! A car!

Of course, we're on a road. Idiot.

AUTO- DOOR

Damn it! Son, put on your seat belt!

Sir, I can eat noodles, right?

Yes.

See? I told you so.

When you're in a uniform, in a police van
everyone thinks you're a cop.

Let's go!

It's certain death ahead. There's no
going back if anything happens.

Just follow the road.

They use this road to transport corpses.
Where else would they choose?

- Robbers would take the side roads.
- Yes!

Do you hear me?

Do you hear me? Hello?

BEWARE OF BOARS

There's no signal.

Not even one bar.

- We're in the right place. Stop!
- Stop!

- There's no signal.
- Stop calling your girl.

That's good, no signal.
This is a good place to get to work!

It's so quiet

-nobody would know if you got k*lled--
- Watch out!

Who is it?

- Who are they?
- Didn't they see what we're wearing?

You think Hong Kong cops
are just for decoration? After them!

Stop!

- Stop!
- Stop the car!

Engine off. Driver’s license.

Hey!

These scumbags are molesting a girl!
Don't let them go!

You want to run?
I'll let you run. Run!

I'll let you run. Run!

Do you know what you're guilty of?

r*pe! And you tied her up like that!

Damn! Where are my glasses?
I just bought them!

A car is a private place. I'm just doing
private business in my space.

r*pe!

r*pe!

Scumbag! You're raping a woman!

Sir--

Sir, Listen to me.
We cannot punish them ourselves.

We are cops!
We cannot punish them ourselves!

Listen, Miss, don't be afraid!
We're...

We're cops. You'll be fine.

It's useless to bring us in.

According to studies, 87 percent
of women victims don't press charges--

Save your strength.

- You'll never be able to open a file.
- You'll have to let us go.

Let us go, damn cops!

- Are you cops stupid?
- Shut up!

Hello? Police? I'm Kong Dai Hoi.

My ID number is Z600206(2)

I'm Leung Tin C991733(3).
Our car registration…

Our car registration is KD1813.

We're on Ching Yau Road,
Ngau Tam Mei, Lamp post PA36.

We r*ped a girl here.

Send someone to arrest us now, okay?
Thank you!

Hey.

- This is all wrong.
- Do you think we're real cops?

We're robbers. Why is it wrong?
This is the only right way.

- Whatever! It's up to you.
- Come on.

Let's swap.

Put his in your mouth, yours in his mouth.
That makes it fun! Let's go.

The boars here will bite your dicks!

- East L, what are you doing?
- Poor girl, she's shivering.

- Let's go. We've called the cops.
- Let's go.

Don't look for trouble.

Lady, don't be afraid!
Sue them out of house and home!

Are you coming yet?
She's not your daughter!

My colleagues will come soon.
Be brave. Be brave.

- Be brave!
- Thank you!

She was taken by them
while selling ice cream.

- Hurry!
- At this hour?

It's hard to make a living.

You know so much.
Were you flirting with her?

- Are you blind?
- I really can't see without my glasses.

- How will you drive?
- I'll look for them.

Hey! We've called the cops.

- I have spares.
- Hurry!

I have them.

Hurry.

We've called the cops! Hurry!

Let's go!

Sir, the registration number is KD1813.

It's the car reported in the r*pe case.

Miss, don't be afraid. We are
police officers. We're here to help you

Don't be afraid.

Can you please tell us what just happened?

Sir.

- The suspects could have left these--
- They're mine!

The girl said a police car came by
and officers helped her.

When the incident occurred,
no patrol cars were on duty in this area.

The only possibility is
that the police car is a fake.

They reported it with the suspect's phone.

Clearly, they want
to hide their identities.

Therefore, the policemen were also fake.

He remembered to clean out their wallets.
That's A!

Black cable ties,

Giantlok GT630HD, 9mm,
79.4kg tensile strength.

First choice of first-rate technicians.
That's B!

Is a dried wet wipe still a wet wipe?
It's C.

These glasses should belong to D.

These are the bad guys who stole the parts
built the EU and impersonated cops:

A, B, C and D.

It looks like they've completed their EU
and they've begun their mission.

But why did they save her
and call the cops?

- The police are beating me up.
- Shut up!

Sir, they rescued the girl

but they stole, and carried out their own
punishment and impersonated policemen.

So, note it down.
You want to be a hero again?

What's the difference
between a hero and a cop?

Cops must abide by the law.
Heroes don't have to.

Cops earn a salary, they're employees.

Heroes don't. They are mostly bosses,
like Iron Man.

Become a boss before
you learn to be a hero.

Superman is not a boss.

He wears his underpants
outside his clothes.

We'll take up four lanes each!

The chicken wings smell great.

- Thank you, Boss!
- So wasteful.

That's not wasteful!
Wasteful is throwing money into the sea.

We're consuming it, albeit extravagantly.

Here.

- Thank you!
- Hey! That's not for you.

It's for you to pay a salary to my buddy
and buy back his watch.

Sure, no problem!

Crazy B, it's payday!

- Here.
- Thank you.

Put your watch on.

Thank you.

Enjoy yourselves.

Everyone has always cussed me out.

That's the first time
I've been thanked. Cool.

Cool.

SURPRISINGLY AWESOME SKILLS

There is no signal here.

They've been here, captured two bad guys,
and rescued a girl.

I believe they were planning
to make a move here.

They stole police car parts
but not a whole EU

to avoid police attention.

I ordered noodles but they gave me rice.

You can't even get the right takeout
order around here.

Robbing while dressed as a policeman,
like a wrong takeout order,

is a very serious crime.

I am a policeman. I must catch robbers.

If anything goes wrong,
it's every man for himself.

No! I won't let anything
happen to my buddies.

I'm a very fair man.
I decide when things are right or wrong.

Money is first priority in a robbery.
I'm with you this time.

- Stop horsing around.
- Aren't you in on this?

No, I'm not. Why?

- Real g*ns? You have real g*ns?
- What?

- Why did you bring a real g*n?
- Go away.

The corpse transport truck!

- Where did you get real g*ns from?
- Come on. Let's go!

CROSS- BORDER CORPSE TRANSPORTATION

Hands on your heads!

Don't move!

Turn off the ignition!

Sir, how can I do that and not move?

You speak Cantonese well, friend.

I was just joking.

We suspect there are expl*sives
in your truck.

Open the back door.

Okay.

- What are you doing?
- What is that?

- Why are you opening the door?
- To open the back door for you.

- Give me the key. I'll open it.
- Okay.

What are you doing? Freeze!

What is that? Bring it out slowly.

Slowly!

It's a samosa, sir.

It's delicious.
Have you eaten dinner, sir?

Reach out.

Try some.

Big F.

Sergeant, it's quite good.

I can't take it when you're holding on.

It's delicious.

Curry is their specialty.

Do you have any more?
Bring them all out.

That's all I have.

- My daughter made them.
- Give it back.

My colleague will take over.

They'll just check the license. Calm down!

Hands on your heads. Don't move!

We suspect you have expl*sives
in your truck.

What shall we do? Someone is coming.
Do we let them go?

Let them go? Get moving!

k*ll them!

No policemen use AK-47s.

They're not real cops, idiot!

We're thinking the same thing!

- Go in. Move the body out.
- Roger that.

At 12 o'clock! He's running. sh**t him!

Hey.

One isn't dead yet.
Playing dead? sh**t him!

- Three!
- Three.

Let's go! Johnny T!

Are we all here?

That's everyone. Let's go!

Sit tight!

It's all going wrong! How many died?
Did you see that just now?

Yeah, we did it!

I told you so! If I hadn't insisted on
real g*ns, you'd all be dead.

We're rich.

This corpse is all swollen.
There must be a lot of money.

Oh, no! They're all dead.

What do we do with the kid?

We're finished. Oh, no!

- What do we do?
- We're finished. Oh, no!

What do we do with the kid?

- What do we do? They're all dead.
- Don't panic! One step at a time.

- Did you see that?
- East L, pull over.

- They're all dead!
- Don't panic! One step at a time.

- Listen to me. Pull over.
- Okay.

- Don't panic! One step at a time.
- Okay.

Stop.

Fine. Which crisis shall we
deal with first?

What do we do with the kid?

- You decide.
- You had a part in bringing her here.

I ran out to rescue you. I didn't think
you would bring her in here!

Her parents are dead! That's very sad!

What can we do about that, Crazy B?

How about this? You adopt her.
Call her your daughter.

She can have your last name
and be a robber on our team, okay?

Open the door!

- What are you doing?
- You're always like this.

- Money is not everything
- Crazy B.

- Where are you going?
- You're a beast.

- Wait here for the bus.
- Where is Daddy?

There are no buses at this hour.

Calm down!

Where is my corpse?

I think the cops took it.

Calm down.

Where is my girl?

- I think the cops took her, too.
- I got it, East L.

- Don't panic! One step at a time.
- Oh, no! They're all dead.

East L, I got it! Come on out.

- Come on out.
- This was your idea.

- Tell us what to do now.
- Here, have a smoke.

- Have a smoke.
- You're smoking?

So many people are dead
and you're smoking? I'm not in the mood.

Give me your phone.

- Give me your phone.
- Why?

Someone is dead, right?
I'm calling the police.

They'll find out who called.

I know, call from a phone booth.
Guaranteed to be untraceable.

Give me a coin. Come on.

I didn't bring any money.

Johnny T, give me a dollar.

Hey.

Hey.

East L, look who is it?

It's Johnny T. No, it's not.

- You idiots. Emergency calls are free.
- Crazy B.

Why did you bring the kid back?

First a woman, and now the kid again.
What is wrong with you guys?

We're finished! Not only is someone dead,
but now there's a kid--

Don't panic.

One step at a time. First, tie her up.

You're finished.
They will come back to save me.

Now what? We've tied her up!

What's next? We're all here.
You, Big L, me, the corpse.

Where's Johnny T?

Police! Don't move! Hands up!

We're thinking the same thing!

How did this happen?

It's the EU! Take this, Crazy B.
East L, drive!

Auntie, this is my bicycle,
and that's my lunchbox.

You're crazy.
Of course I know Ming's bicycle.

I'm a policeman.
I need the bicycle to catch a robber.

Ming, you became a policeman.
Mommy has waited so long for this.

I'm sorry. You have the wrong person.
I'm not Ming.

That's nuts!
Of course Mommy recognizes you.

Don't be afraid.
They're hunting wild boar.

They have to k*ll them.

Ming, you won't get it with just one shot.

Aim at the solar plexus, double tap.

- Excuse me.
- Where are you going, Ming?

Calm down!

Don't hit my girl.

Calm down! Calm down!

- Let me die!
- Calm down!

- Let me die.
- Don't move. They're gone.

- k*ll me with one shot.
- He's gone.

After him!

ROACH DISASTER IS
BETTER THAN THE GOVERNMENT

Drive over there.

No way! Why? Are you serious?

- Just go! Don't ask!
- You're nuts.

HONG KONG WAS DEFEATED BY ROACHES

Is anyone there?

If not, I'm requisitioning your bicycle.

We can't go without everyone.

What do we do now?

JOHNNY T.
ANSWER?

Johnny T, how are you doing?

- How's my buddy?
- I think you have my stuff--

JOHNNY T.
ANSWER?

I know.

Make them nervous.
We'll regain the initiative.

No, Crazy B. I want to say something.

Have you thought about
why we're doing all this work?

It's for the money.

Right?

- Why else if not for money?
- You can't do this to your buddies.

We must! We're doing a major job!
How long have we waited for this day?

Every big job has collateral damage.
As they say, in a robbery, cash is king.

Nothing else matters.
Every man for himself.

He got into the wrong vehicle.

Those robbers all have AKs.

They're beasts.
They'll k*ll everyone in sight!

Johnny T may have already
been k*lled.

Why are we looking for him?
To get back another corpse?

No, no.

I have to see him, dead or alive!

If we go, we'll all be dead!
Don't you understand?

We only have these two old toys,
but every one of them has an AK!

Ignore him! drive!

In this situation, I definitely
will not drive. I'm not driving!

Now what?

I only obey you two.

I'm not your buddy.
My words carry no weight, right?

I say drive!

- Drive!
- I won't!

- I'm not driving! Drive!
- No. I'm not driving!

You must not leave your buddy

I'm not driving!

- Drive!
- I won't drive!

Drive!

I need to pee.

Take her to pee.

I'm going too.

Can you drive?

Answer me. Can you drive?

Get my girl on the phone.

Get my girl on the phone.

- Big F, what are you doing?
- Can't you hear me?

- Get away!
- Get her on the phone!

Go!

Big F!

Our buddies are gone, the money is gone,
my glasses are gone! Everything is gone!

I quit!

Crazy B, I quit!

I really need to pee.

JOHNNY T.
ANSWER?

Just pee here!

k*ll me.

k*ll me.

k*ll me. What are you waiting for?

- Calm down.
- Too scared?

Calm down.

- k*ll me!
- Calm down!

Where are they?

Where are they?

Stop asking!
The baby I'm carrying is not yours.

Whose is it? I know! Fung's! No, Jack's!

It's not Fung's, and not Jack's.
It's Robert's.

I know. Robert the barbecued meat guy.
I'm going to chop him up.

It's not Barbecue Robert.

- Give it to me.
- It's your cousin, Robert.

Damn it.

Yes. The baby is Robert's.
Don't call me anymore.

- Who is Robert?
- His cousin.

k*ll me! Please!

So, where to?

Where are we going?

I don't think you have plan.
You never had an exit strategy.

I know a smuggler's tunnel
under a drainage pipe.

I'll guide you through it
but you must let me go.

We'll split the money.

What did we hit? Hey!

- Did we run over someone? Stop!
- It's a dog.

Back up and check.
See if we ran over anyone.

- If so, we're in trouble.
- So what? Will you call the police?

Of course we'll call the police.
What else can we do?

Go back! I told you to back up.

It's no big deal to us robbers
if someone dies.

Didn't you say there's collateral damage?

See how unlucky you are.

Your girl doesn’t want you,
your buddies abandon you.

Yes. That is very unlucky,
but there's nothing we can do!

Money buys you buddies and girls, right?

As they say...

in this business, we only trust money.
You must understand that. Don't be naive.

If you have money,
women know you're a man.

But if you have no money,
they don't treat you like a human, right?

Alright, alright.

Vent your hatred, k*ll me!

I want to die.
Why don't we make a bet before I die?

I'll bet you won't find your girl.

I'll win.

Give me a b*llet.

Remember to hit my head.

Make it accurate! Don't make any mistakes!

sh**t me in the head.

Get my girl on the phone now!

Call her.

Auntie, are you okay?

Mommy's fine. Ming, were you
frightened by the wild boar?

Let me take you to the hospital.

The pickles will rot at home.
I want to go home.

The robbers will get away
if I don't catch them.

I'll take you to the hospital,
then go catch the robber. Come on!

If you won't eat this, I won't go.

What is this?

Ming, you are right.

I am wrong.

The police must catch robbers, right?

Don't worry about me.
Go catch the robbers.

I'm fine.

Cop or robber,
you're still my good boy!

Rotten or not, it's still a pickle!

Underpants inside or outside,
Superman is Superman.

I'll take you home.

Oops.

The pickle really is rotten.

JOHNNY T
DIALING

Hang up on me again and I'll k*ll him.

Let my buddy go.

We'll give you your girl and the corpse.

That parking lot we just passed,
we'll exchange hostages there.

Why would I trust you?

Hostage exchanges are all about trust.

I dare to gamble. So should you.

I saw you k*ll many people.

For my buddy's sake, I trust you.

For a corpse and a girl,
do you dare to take the risk?

I must prove that you are wrong.

You're unlucky but I'm not.

Your girl is not my girl.
My girl would never betray me.

Fine. I trust you!

Scumbag. It's my turn to hang up on you.

ICE CREAM

Don't be afraid, calm down, Miss.
So, what do you do?

I sell ice cream.

Why are you selling ice cream
so late at night?

Tonight is Halloween.
Some people stay out really late.

It's great for my business!

Okay.

I must go now.

Where are you going? I'll give you a lift.

You ask where I'm going.
I really don't know.

I've bumbled through half my life.
following my buddies wherever they go.

Now I'm left all alone.

I really don't know where to go.
My glasses are gone, I can't see.

Calm down, don't be afraid.

Thank you, Officer!

Stop.

I know you're not Ming.

If not for the damned wild boars...

Ming would be your age now.

He might have become a policeman, too.

He might have chosen...

to bring me home
before catching robbers, too.

Why are you still standing here?
Go catch robbers!

Goodbye, sir.

Hey.

I'm warning you,
they are human!

You're not concerned your buddy has died.
yet you would worry about a stranger.

Be a true bad guy, then.

Police! Stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Watch what you're doing!

Give me your g*n.

Why would I give you my g*n?
Don't come any closer.

- Give me your g*n!
- I'll sh**t!

Why would I give you my g*n?

I came to rob, but I didn't get anything.
I didn't k*ll anyone.

The b*tch in the van is a k*ller.

- Give me your g*n.
- Why would I do that?

Why would I do that?

Why?

Give me your g*n.

What?

So what if you're police?

You think I should just
hand over my g*n?

Do cops trump everyone else?

- Get in.
- You don't go after robbers, only me?

Get in!

- Remember, I saved your life!
- Get in.

We'll talk at the station.

Girls can't go into the men's restroom.

It's late. It doesn't matter.

HONG KONG WAS DEFEATED BY ROACHES

I need to pee.

He may be tied up,
but he needs to shut up.

After I find my girl,
I will sh**t him in the mouth,

and then sh**t him in the head.

Hey. Hold on.

Just ignore what that scumbag says.

You're nuts. Why would I listen to him?

It's his bad luck that he got dumped.

That really is unlucky.
She got herself pregnant by his cousin.

THERE ARE BAD GUYS OUTSIDE

I've thought it through.

My girl would never betray me.

Come find my girl with me.

My princess was taken by bad guys.

Don't move.

I made you lose the Princess,
so I'll make another one.

You're a princess.

I have a buddy who always wants people
to give him two thumbs up.

Where's my police cap?

You weren't wearing one just now.

- Hey.
- Where's my police cap?

You're asking me?
Sir, arresting me doesn't help.

- Ouch, it hurts.
- Move.

You should arrest those scumbags.

They are inhuman.
Spraying b*ll*ts with their AKs.

- Sit down.
- Catch those guys.

They are the bad robbers.

We arrest anyone who commits a crime.

Impersonating police officers
and making a fake EU

are serious crimes already.

I will take you in now.

Princess. Wait here for the bus.

Your beard tickles.

Are there buses at this hour?

I'm going to catch the robbers
and save my buddies.

When you get on the bus,
tell the driver...

to go find Mr. Policeman.

Don't leave me here.

- Don't leave me here.
- Be good.

Wait for the bus here.

BAD

THERE ARE BAD GUYS OUTSIDE

Hello, what time is it?

- Did you get fired again?
- Did I--

Did I ever give you a doll?

I don't remember. Why are you asking
in the middle of the night?

Are you okay?

What kind of doll do you like?
I'll buy it for you.

Mr. Chou, how old am I?
You want to give me a doll?

Twenty-two, and still my little girl.

You are decades old, still my old man
and still sleeping too late.

Get some sleep.

What?

Why?

Why is she alone?

Where is Crazy B?

Little girl, where did you
get your jacket from?

Hey! Girl! Where is that man?
The curly-haired policeman.

He said he's going to save his buddies.

Did you hear that, sir?

I really can't go
to the station with you.

I have to save my buddy. Please!

I promise you,

after taking you to the station,
we will go save your friend.

DELICIOUS, FRESH ICE CREAM

Little girl, would you
like some ice cream?

Here.

Sir, I'm doing great business today.

I just gave a cone to another policeman.

and gave him back his glasses.

It's him.

He was confused and couldn't see too well.

Now he knows where to go.

Sir! Let me go!

East L has returned to the team!

After I finish my business,
I will go in with you.

Trust me.

Miss, can you please
take her to the police station?

- Okay.
- Thank you.

"B" saved a little girl.

"D" saved a r*pe victim.

You are "A,"

-and you saved me.
- That's right!

I saved you.

- You should let me go to save my buddies.
- You say you want to save your buddies?

You want to go against those robbers?
You think that uniform is real?

It doesn't matter what we wear.

Trust me, just this once!

Our last stop will be
the police station...

but we can make one stop before that.

Thank you, sir.

Where do you want to get off?

assh*le.

Why are those scumbags here?

These are the scumbags.

Watch what you're doing.
They are heavily armed.

Stay calm.

They won't dare touch us.

We have his girl.

They have my girl.

Don't sh**t.

My two buddies!

Grab the girl and the corpse!

What happened?

Get up.

Are you okay?

Buddy. He is alive.

Crazy B.

Who is this?

Officer Tsui, a real cop.

What happened to him?

He's been shot.

Do you have a dollar?

Another dollar? What for?

With these injures, we need to
call an ambulance.

Emergency calls are free.

I can't take you to the police station
anymore.

The world is so strange.

Turtle jelly that has no turtle.

Milk tea that has no milk.

Bad guys that aren't bad.

Where will you get off?
Think about it carefully.

ROACHES OUTBREAK

Stop.

What's wrong?

The money is not inside the corpse.

Why didn't you say so sooner?

When I was in the truck,
I removed the money.

I am really sorry, buddies. I didn't think
you'd risk your lives for me.

I sold out my buddies
over a woman like that.

I'm a scumbag.

I'm a scumbag.

I am a bastard! I'm sorry.

Hey! Hey!

- Hey.
- I'm bastard.

I'm a scumbag.

- Hey.
- I'm a scumbag.

You're a scumbag?
I'm just as much of a scumbag.

I've made it clear.
I'd choose money over you.

Hey, alright. Sit down.

- Are you sure?
- The money is still with us?

Yes.

I have to pee.

I have to pee.

I haven't seen the sunrise in a long time.

I haven't seen Hong Kong in a long time.

I haven't seen so clearly in a long time.

Have you thought about where to go?

Hey.

Out of my way.

Don't block me. I must stop those robbers!

That g*ng of inhuman beasts
kills everyone they see.

I don't know if I did the right thing,
but I don't want to do too much wrong.

Big F, can you drive?

Right. You saved me at such great cost
but now you're planning to leave me here?

Take me with you, I'll be okay.

You followed my plan to be robbers,
but now we're catching other robbers.

This sounds rather stupid to me.

This whole incident
sounds a bit stupid.

And I don't know why,
but somehow it feels so cool.

Faster! If they get to the campsite,
more people will die! East L, step on it!

Roger that.

Go! Ignore them.

- Hurry, East L.
- Faster.

These four g*ns may be rusty
and not so good on their own

but they're vicious when tied together.

Why didn't you tell me sooner?
What else are you hiding?

- Also--
- sh**t! Talk later.

Your turn. k*ll!

sh**t it!

assh*le!

What?

What happened?

- Hey.
- What happened?

We're out of a*mo.

- What happened?
- We're all out.

Sit tight!

- Oh, shit.
- Oh, shit.

Good thing we put in bulletproof glass!

Stop! East L--

Stop!

East L!

Stop!

Crash into them!

Oops.

Wow.

Yo!

Yeah!

Yeah.

It's flattened.

All done!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

The police cap really is here.

DO NOT DISTURB DRIVER

They did everything they said they would.

These four came to turn themselves in
and brought gifts.

Five AKs, five Type 54s

three shotguns, 236 b*ll*ts,

and five robbers with 172 wounds.

But most incredibly, there was also
the police cap I lost 16 days ago.

This minibus' last stop
was the police station

but they went to the wrong place

and brought it
to the Marine Police Station.

This is a case of one g*ng
of police-impersonating robbers

running into another g*ng
of police-impersonating robbers.

This g*ng of fake cops k*lled many people.

That g*ng of fake cops felt that was wrong

and went to capture this g*ng
of fake cops.

Without that g*ng of fake cops,

we would never have caught
this g*ng of fake cops.

I'm not sure what you're saying,
but it sounds cool.

It is cool.

Four bowling balls and one minibus
captured five robbers with AKs.

Two dead, three seriously injured.

It really doesn't matter what one wears.

I've been a g*ng boss and a robber,

and impersonated a cop.

Whatever one does, it's just a job title
that others call you by.

Just like how what you wear
is for others to see.

When you have courage to face yourself,
what does it matter what you wear?

The key is to know what you're doing.

"Two thumbs up" is not
what others give you.

It's what you give yourself!

No matter where he wears his underpants,
Superman is still Superman.

A dried wet wipe or a wet dry wipe,

as long as it believes
it can clean things, it is a wipe.

Don't think that everyone in uniform
is a policeman.

It doesn't matter what you wear.

Angel or devil. Devil or angel.

It depends on how you look at it.

Special news report.
This morning, just after five a.m.,

two morning joggers discovered
wanted fugitive

and illegal roach farmer, Cheung Po-keung,
near a public toilet in Nam Chung.

Police describe Cheung
to be very emotionally agitated

when they discovered him.
Cop steals bicycle.

Police rushed to the scene

and arrested this man
who turned Hong Kong upside down.

Why do people throw trash everywhere?

Just have a barbecue, damn it!

- Big F.
- What?

I've wanted
to tell you something for years.

Fine, never mind.

16 MONTHS LATER, HONG KONG'S
SOUTH- EASTERNMOST COUNTRY PARK

It's about that time you drank pee
and ate roaches for us, right?

How long have you known?

A long time.

But I didn't tell you

to make you feel you owed us.
It's not about us owing you.

You're just a scumbag.

A real scumbag.

A real scumbag!

Lost seven-year-old girl, Tsang Ching-yee,
miraculously rescued after two weeks.

So, those weren't her parents.
They were kidnappers.

So, not only did we catch robbers,
we even rescued someone.

If I didn't risk it all to save you,
you would have died of a brain hyperemia.

No matter what we wear, we are heroes!

Remember, girl, I saved you.

Tell her, I rushed out to save her.

Tell her, if not for my g*n,
both of you would have been dead.

Without my g*ns,
you three would have died.

See who they are thanking.

- Two thumbs up! That's me!
- I taught her that!

- You tell him, I taught you.
- Let me tell you,

I taught him about "two thumbs up".

There is no more officer 39633
in this world.

There is only me, Lucifer.

You can call me Big F.

I'll get off at the intersection.

- I want to get off.
- Restricted area.

Why didn't you tell me?
We've passed our stop.

Get off when you can.

I want off. You damned minibus driver!

I want to get off.

How would I know that's a restricted area?

I'll tell you.

Don't take the minibus if you can't walk!
Take a taxi! Scumbag!

PUBLIC LIGHT BUS DRIVER
IDENTITY PLATE, HO WING SIU

My number is 39633.

My name is Tsui On Leung.

Buddies! I have another idea!

- Tell me if you're okay with it.
- I'm okay with it.

Aren't you unlucky enough?

Speak! Since we are buddies.
I, Crazy B, will back you if I can.

What's there to back?
We don't have the minibus any more.

Even if it's full,
we have no van to drive.

My third great-uncle in Apleichau
had a dragon boat.

Let's turn it into a warship
to take back our island.

This won't only be carrying out justice,
we'll be the glory of our nation!

END