- Does work, doesn't it...
- You're a genius.
- Conceptually, a brilliant idea.
- It's technically brilliant.
It works, we can
get out of that bank
with million dollars,
it works.
Norman, you are a genius.
Well, I'm afraid in real life,
if you get and you go
to jail for years...
Aw, come on,
what are you talking about?
You got nothing to risk, what...
- What have you got to lose?
- I've got years in jail
- to risk.
- You got years with Doris
upstairs, you got
years of poverty,
years in a job
that doesn't recognize
that you are the best
computer brain in the world?
This is a fantasy,
this is a toy,
this is an erector set.
If you saw a little
toy police and the toy jail...
It's years in jail.
We built this to prove
that nothing could go wrong.
All right, let's... let's assume
that we get away with it,
that you get the money,
what do you do with the money?
- It has serial numbers.
- I've explained it to ya...
- It has all kinds of...
- A thousand times.
For seven years,
I know Victor Shung, right?
I don't like his name,
I don't like the whole notion
of Victor whatever
and I don't like
- Macao and all that stuff is...
- Norman, I thought of Macao,
I'd get the money
to him somehow,
he'll figure a way for me
to get it through to him...
- See, it's not real...
- The money goes to him.
- It's not real to me.
- It is absolutely real,
he will pay me
cents on the dollar.
That money will be
absolutely clean,
it'll be in a bank
in Switzerland.
- You guarantee that?
- Nine months
from now, you will have
three million dollars.
- All right, you claim...
- In Switzerland, guarantee...
You guarantee fit,
you guarantee this?
- Yes, I guarantee it absolutely.
- Okay.
I'm crazy, but I'll do it.
It's really dangerous.
Will you answer me a question?
Yeah.
Out of all the things
you could have picked,
why did you make me a ballerina?
Mr. Halperin!
- Deal.
- Deal.
Our address,
Christ Missionary Fathers.
Hmm.
Okay, um, why don't
you come in here,
and look over his shoulder
at the blueprints.
Don't look so worried,
you're not worried.
You know what
you're doing, right?
Okay, now you point up,
try pointing up here.
Um, the other hand,
so I can see... yeah.
Okay, now point
up strong, you know,
this is up in the rafters,
there's a problem...
You, you keep your eye
on the blueprint though, okay?
Come on, men of action,
you can do it, come on,
really pretend you've
got a job here.
Look at the blueprints
and imagine
that you've really got
a job that you're gonna
take care of up there, okay?
Okay, now we're cooking.
Okay, great, rest for a second,
you're doing great.
- Gino, these guys...
- Oh, what's wrong?
Well, where'd you get them,
in a wax museum?
Oh, perfect, just what I needed,
could you stand right there?
Denise, get me a card,
oh, beautiful.
- What's going on?
- Denise, throw some light up
into those crazy eyes of his.
What?
- You always have a hard hat?
- Come on, lady,
- I don't want my picture taken.
- Gino, f*cking fabulous.
- Sign right here.
- Oh, this is great.
Standard release
in case we use your face.
- Use my face for what?
- Just sign it, please.
Wonderful, oh wonderful,
thank you.
This is all you have to do,
go for the real thing.
Well, I don't know if I'll
use those sh*ts, but...
Some of these portraits
over here.
Would you page Norman Barrie
for me, please?
Sure... Norman Barrie, on ,
Norman Barrie, , please.
No, leave the door open.
They get paranoid around here
if you close the doors.
These are good,
these are very, very...
Good, because I got
my picture taken coming out
of the command trailer
with those plans under my arms.
She just took
my photograph, calm down,
- will yah, that's all.
- Calm down, calm down.
She took your photograph,
why don't we just
take a full-page ad
in the newspapers?
Reese Halperin and Norman Barry
wish to announce the robbery
- of a new bank.
- Norman, I will get
the photograph back,
you can count on it.
The only thing I can
count on is the fact
that you're gonna screw up
every step of the way.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Stacey, you locked the door.
Will you open the g*dd*mn door?
Peter, why did
you break my door?
- You locked it.
- I did not lock it.
- Promised you'd leave it open.
- I did not lock it.
I hate you, it is not funny.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Will you forgive me?
I brought this as a token
of my appreciation.
- Whatever I say is like...
- Oh.
- Oh, my.
- What's he up to.
I think he's going to jump.
- A metaphor for you.
- Thank you.
It plugs into itself.
Look at him.
Oh, he's getting his... oh.
- Put that away.
- Not until we make love.
- We are not going to make love.
- Oh, yes we are.
With whipped cream all over you.
Peter, stop it.
Stop it, I'm not kidding,
it's not funny.
- Peter, I'm not kidding.
- Eh-eh.
I don't think it's funny,
stop it.
I swear to god,
if you do it I'll...
What, what?
Peter.
I want you while
you're sweaty and angry.
Strawberry sundae with a cherry.
Banana split
with pineapple and fudge.
- I'm nuts.
- No.
I am not amused...
- Peter, stop it.
- Do you want to put some on me?
- No, because I don't want to.
- Why?
You're not seeing
anyone, are you?
What has that got to do with it?
Stace, it has everything
to do with it.
I am not kidding, Peter.
I don't want to do this,
is that clear?
- No, it's not.
- Oh, please,
listen to me, you're hurting me!
I don't want to do this!
Don't you understand?
I don't wanna do it.
- No, I don't.
- Please!
- Who is it?
- Uh, Stacey Bishop.
- Who's that?
- Yes?
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you,
- I mean, I...
- Oh no, we were just...
I mean, I, uh, I, uh...
You don't remember me,
I'm from the construction site.
You took my picture,
yellow hard hat.
- Oh yes, yes, of course.
- Who is this?
From the construction sh**t.
Well, I was wondering
about the photographs,
about what you plan to do
with them, you know?
Oh, well, maybe nothing,
I don't really know.
Could be for a commercial...
- I'm leaving.
- Peter.
I've had enough
of this commercial shit.
No, really, I...
- Uh, I can leave.
- Never mind.
Now, what about the photos?
Well...
I'm an earthquake
inspector, and um,
it sounds dumb,
but my mother doesn't
have any idea what I do
and I just thought that...
I thought maybe
your pictures, you know,
might put her
in the picture, so to speak.
Uh, well, thank you.
No, thank you.
The negatives are
at MacDonald and Ewer,
- an ad agency.
- Oh, they're not here?
No, Battlemount.
Uh-huh.
Drop by and I'll
give you what I got.
That'd be nice...
I mean the photos.
Okay, thank you very much,
- Battlemount.
- Yeah.
What is the first
sign of the flu?
I don't feel too good,
and you're not helping.
There he is.
- Thank you.
- Mhm.
Okay, let's go.
All right.
That's over there, right.
Front stairway.
There.
So I didn't get it there at her
house,
I'll get it at her office,
it's easy.
You screwed up here and you
screwed up in Macao.
I did not screw up in Macao.
- Did you get a contract?
- I did not get a contract.
Well, how do you know you can
trust him?
Because he's old and he is still
alive,
in his business that means you
can trust him.
Wrong.
Get off my back, will you?
- This is perfect.
- Told yah.
Alarm sensors are there, there.
And up there.
Good enough?
Good.
I'm gonna carry that money
all the way down through...
- How much is that gonna weigh?
- A million dollars, pounds.
- Five million dollars...
- pounds.
It's not easy robbing a bank.
Alarm conduits,
cleaver bastards,
right in the elevator shaft.
Right here, they come out here.
There's your computer room,
this one goes into
the bank control computer,
comes back out here,
then the four of them go over
there to the alarm box.
Okay, if we're gonna
cut off these
from the vault sensors,
we're gonna have to get into
the elevator shaft and make
our diode connection there.
You can tap into the computer...
In there.
Pound on that, will you?
That's a Wheeler lock.
We can pull a line
of the computer
right along the toilet pipe,
put your terminal
right in there,
you can plug it in
anytime you want to.
Then it's all up to
the computer, boy-o.
That's all up to me.
Yeah, well, I mean,
it's all up to you...
The computer's an idiot.
Computer doesn't know
a g*dd*mn thing,
thinks it's working for the bank
but I have the distinct feeling
that your friend,
Mr. Norman Barrie will convince
the computer to work for us.
We're gonna be famous.
We're gonna be
very, very famous.
We're robbing a bank, Norman,
we're not finding
a cure for cancer.
- I'm aware it means nothing!
- Come on, do you really think
- this is the best choice?
- You're g*dd*mn right!
- In a bank?
- Yes, yes!
- Stacey Bishop?
- She's in a meeting
- at the moment.
- Well, I'm prepared to stand
behind my decision and your
taste is in your mouth.
- Oh, come on, Stacey!
- If the guy doesn't like him,
tell them they can sh**t
their own guy now...
Ms. Bishop?
- Ms. Bishop?
- Yes?
Oh, you're the one I want,
but the geniuses around here
don't agree with me.
- They say you're too jaunty.
- Too jaunty for what?
I want to use your picture for
the billboard above the bank.
Seriously?
Could've been a sweet
thousands dollars for you,
but they're not buying it,
sorry.
Well, that's too bad.
- Do you have my pictures?
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, they're terrific.
My mother's gonna love these,
you don't have any more do you?
Oh, you really like them,
uh, I'll get you the negatives,
you can blow them up yourself.
Here you go.
Thanks a lot, can I treat you
ladies to a cup of coffee,
- or something?
- Coffee?
Um, we're gonna be
sh**ting down in Gastown,
drop around later,
I'll buy you a drink.
Denise!
Whoops, I'm out.
Okay, relax for a second.
Stacey, could we
wear something kinky,
just this once please?
- Something raunchy.
- Kinky is so tired,
it will be nostalgia next week.
Listen, this lust and lonely
I think should have
more muscle in it, you know?
Something more flashy.
Powerful.
Oh, and I don't want
you to be powerful...
Hey, I need a pair
a heavy boots,
- maybe a pair of biker boots.
- You like my massages?
- What do you've got on?
- Push your hair back
a little, Sharron.
That's great, bored.
Reese, you're in my shot.
- Do you want your clothes back?
- Eventually.
Where'd you learn
to speak French, Paris?
Fort Chimo, Quebec.
- Is that where you're from?
- No, I was with
a NORAD insulation up there.
- Pilot?
- Nope, radar intelligence.
- Huh?
- Computers.
You sure seem
to love what you do.
Mhm.
Sometimes.
I don't know what I love.
Dr. pepper.
No, some of the stuff
we shot tonight,
that's for my own book,
I think it's gonna be good,
I love that.
Right now, I'm in to rain,
this section's called
wet dreams.
Wet dreams?
- Too cute, huh?
- No, it's...
Oh, see you are
gonna catch a cold,
come on back to my place.
I'll fix you some soup,
who am I kidding,
- I'll give you some vitamin C.
- I never catch colds.
Don't worry, I'll keep
my hands to myself.
I never catch cold.
All right, a wish bone,
let's do it.
Please, if we don't do it now,
we won't do it.
No, if you do it now
it'll be bad luck.
So how does somebody
get in touch with you?
I'll call yah.
Hm, I don't give out
my number either.
I got your number, -.
Got it off your camera case,
never forget a number.
Wish I could say the same.
- See you later.
- See yah.
Brought you a couple of items
designed to relieve and restore.
Really gotta get you
out of this pigsty.
Come on, roll over.
Come on, here you go,
won't k*ll you.
- Oh, what is it?
- Boy, you really look bad.
One more.
I don't think there's room
for both of us in here anyway.
Doris thinks that we should
be separated for a while.
It's not funny.
She wants to find her own space,
"I'd like to find my own space,
Norman."
She kicked you out again,
did she?
Oh, what the hell.
Get you into a nice motel.
Magic fingers in the mattress,
dirty movies,
- all the comforts of home.
- Me?
You can't move me out of here,
I'll die, I'll catch pneumonia.
- I can't leave here.
- Let's go, Reese, come on.
I'll catch pneumonia
if I go out of here.
I'm gonna check into a motel,
if you want to stay here,
you can stay here.
All right?
You can't smoke in the room.
Do me a favor, let's just move
in first before we argue.
- Conduits.
- Why don't you take
your scarf off,
and take your shoes off,
and take... take your jacket off,
and sit like
a normal human being,
you're only gonna
make the cold worse.
I think I'm catching your cold.
- Tape, the conduits are down
- I don't feel good.
I don't feel good,
I feel... I feel a little...
I think I'm catching...
I feel nauseous.
I got a pain in the ass.
I really do, I'm not kidding.
I feel like... I don't feel...
I feel very...
It's probably psychosomatic
on my part.
I'm probably afraid of
the whole thing with the bank,
I just don't feel good.
I think I'm getting it...
Chills or something,
- I got a pain.
- Norman, I'm not going
in there alone,
you got me out of the bed,
you said it had to be done
tonight, now come on.
I'm really sorry, if you...
I... I just got kind of...
Oh, boy.
- Hang on a sec.
- I think I'm running a fever.
Okay.
All right.
- You got it?
- Okay, wait a second.
You got the bag?
Do you have it? Take it.
- Hang on a sec.
- I feel like shit.
All right, help me.
Pull me.
All right.
- All right, pull.
- You're coming up the wrong way
- you got your head stuck.
- My head is... just pull.
- Pull me.
- Ah, god.
Ugh, Christ.
Pull me, pull me
for Christ's sake.
Put your feet against the wall,
for God's sake.
Here, reach over there.
Jesus Christ, you're athletic,
aren't yah?
Okay, let me get by you.
Hold on.
You don't have any Valium,
do you?
Okay.
I get vertigo
in places like this.
In fact, I got vertigo
right now.
I'm gonna die.
- Careful with the screws.
- Oh, shit.
That's a six dollar screwdriver.
- Norman.
- Let's hope this works.
That, right there.
Okay.
- Wait for the boat.
- Where we going?
Uh, we'll go here.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh.
Woo!
I think we should
get out of here.
Ah, woo!
What was that?
Wish I had a smoke.
Both the elevators are gone.
Let's get out of here, come on.
Jesus Christ.
Sounds like they're on
the tenth floor.
- What if they got g*ns?
- We got g*ns.
Mine doesn't work, it's a dummy.
They don't know that.
- What about your g*n?
- Well, it's my own.
Magnum, most powerful
handgun made.
Blow a man's head clean off.
- What was that?
- What, what?
I didn't hear anything.
Hey, uh...
- Let's split, come on.
- Yeah.
Come on.
I really think we should
call the police.
- No, no, they'll laugh at us.
- Better than getting k*lled.
- You're part time, aren't you?
- So what?
- Do you smell anything?
- No.
- You will.
- Why?
I just shit my pants.
Yes, father, can I help you?
Yes, I want to send
some boxes to Macao.
Sure thing, uh,
what do you got to send?
Clothing, used clothing
for our mission in Macao.
Macao, okay.
We got a ship going out
of here on Friday,
straight to the Philippians,
Manilla,
and then on to honk Kong,
transship to Macao,
that's the one.
You have something
to send today?
Yes, it's outside.
Okay, father,
that's gonna cost you
$ for the four,
that's if you ship
on a regular basis,
but remember,
you gotta get this stuff here
the day before.
So that's every Friday
before , okay?
I could just see Doris.
She's looking at me now,
I'm behind bars
- and she's laughing.
- The odds of us going
behind bars are so slim,
no chance.
Yeah, the odds.
Oh, boy.
The things you fantasize about
what's gonna happen to us
about this, truly,
deeply depresses me.
Thought you said this was going
to be a victimless crime?
It is going to be
a victimless crime.
- No, there's gonna be a victim.
- How's gonna be the victim?
I'm the victim.
Hey, what did you
do to my clothes?
Where are my clothes?
- Come on, you packed my...
- Oh, sorry.
Through the color.
I'm afraid, I don't feel...
I don't know,
I feel weird.
I'll be very honest with you,
I would like to get out
of the whole thing.
- I'd like to not do it.
- You wanna get out of it?
I really... I'm really afraid.
I've lead you up a whole routine
and I apologize
and I'm sorry about it,
I just can't do it.
- I cannot do it.
- It is okay, it is all right.
- Well, are you angry or...
- No, you're off it.
It's finished, you go back
and help Doris find her space.
You know the magic word,
don't you.
W... what?
Ah!
Oh, oh!
Oh, there's Richard
and Peter and Gene.
Oh, Big Jackie.
Oh, I think I'm gonna
wet my pants.
- Oh, Norman, thank you.
- You want both of these?
I want them all.
Hi, how are you,
uh, we'll take four.
You know, you'd make
a great game show host,
you really would,
you're so cute and cuddly.
Have you thought
about going on TV?
- Uh, you want one too?
- No, thanks.
I want one.
- No, I don't.
- You want one, just tell me.
Ah, oh, I can't believe it!
Is she fantastic, huh?
That's where you've been the
last few days.
Yeah, got the grip of a grizzly
that doesn't wear any underwear.
- Where'd you find her?
- She cleans the pool
at the motel, I think
she's a game show groupie.
Says I look like Peter Marshall.
- Who's Peter Marshall?
- Hollywood squares, you know?
I'm in love.
Well, should last forever,
I figure.
I am doing things that
Doris would be embarrassed
to read about, in fact,
she's promised me one thing
that even I, personally,
am a lit...
You think I'm making
a fool out of myself?
You having a good time?
Ah, this is the best time
I've had in years.
Well, live it up 'cause you know
where you could be
spending the next .
- Hi, boys.
- Hello, how are you?
- Stacey's down there.
- I'll go get her.
- I'm hungry.
- What would you like to eat?
Everything.
Well, let's get
out of this joint.
I think we should come back
to this fair every year
to commemorate the wonderful
experiences we had.
- Oh, my darling, Clementine.
- Boop-oop-a-doop.
Stace, Stace, hold on
I want to talk to you.
- Oh no.
- Come on.
- Who is that guy?
- Stacey's ex.
- Who is that guy?
- He's some kind of artist.
What?
I want to take you home.
Peter, can you see
that I'm with people?
- You're screwing him.
- Oh, Peter.
Please don't make a scene now,
okay?
Does he touch you like I do?
Peter, I'll talk to you
but not now.
I've got to go.
Stacey, listen to me.
Stay away, fella.
- I'll be seeing more of you.
- I'm sure you will.
Go on, go away.
- No, he is not neurotic.
- Okay.
He is unique, I like it that
he throws himself at things
with abandon, even if people
think he's a fool.
I don't think he's a fool
for throwing himself
at you with abandon.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I just have feelings for him.
Take one.
Wait a second, wait a second
till I close my eyes.
- Okay.
- Mhm.
- Okay.
- Ready.
- What goes up the chimney?
- Smoke?
I don't remember the rest of it.
What comes down.
"What comes down"?
Santa Claus.
May your wish and my wish
never be broke.
Mm, I love it.
So how come you're not a sailor?
I don't have a boat.
That's why I got
this outlandish job
so I could make enough
to sail again.
- Ah-oh.
- Rum, ey?
- Mm.
- No.
So tell me, sail where,
sail what?
Talk to me,
what am I doing on a boat
with an earthquake,
whatever the hell you are.
Inspector.
I got my eye on a dream boat,
foot, cat catch palomino.
Two unstayed masts,
wishbone booms.
Got an after cabin.
It's in New Zealand,
maybe I'll be picking
it up pretty soon.
- You are a sailor, hm.
- Hm, better watch yourself
with that,
it'll creep up on you.
Good, then maybe
I'll creep up on you.
All I need in is
the air I breathe,
a little breakfast in bed
in the morning.
Oh, the rites of spring
turned to nights in jail
so I cross my heart
and I jump my bail, woo!
- I'm drunk.
- On a fifth of rum.
- Am I obnoxious?
- No.
I know I'm crazy...
And wild.
I know we're different,
you're so good.
So kind and straight and sweet.
I know I'm loud,
I hate it, sometimes,
mostly when I am.
- I like you, but Reese?
- Mhm?
Even if we sleep together let's
still be friends, you know?
Mhm.
What did your father say,
beware, beware of what?
Take warning, rest
and have a care.
- Are you leaving?
- Mhm.
Don't leave, Reese, please.
Take warning to rest,
and have a care.
- Missed a great double film.
- Oh, yeah?
Jack Nicholson,
god, Robert Redford.
You ever notice how they kiss?
Huh?
Completely different.
Redford turns his face
to the side like this,
leads with this eye,
his mouth just a little open.
As he comes towards you,
he puts one arm around you
and the other behind your head.
As he pulls away,
his eyes are kind of low.
Oh, and then you know
you've been kissed.
Now, Nicholson's
completely different,
he's got that smile
and all those teeth,
and his eyes are level,
and he uses his tongue more.
And when you think
you can't breathe anymore,
he kisses you.
And the two delight me together.
He pulls away slower
than Redford.
Licks his lips,
like he's tasting you
for a second time.
And when he does that,
there isn't thing on God's...
Well, not really anything,
I mean, I wouldn't do anything
real raunchy or anything
like that but...
Well, you're only young once.
When the body goes
it's kind of sad.
Oh, I love you guys.
I really don't want to argue.
No.
How are the children?
It was not my idea, Doris.
Come on, let's be fair.
I'd like to see the children
Sunday at o'clock.
I'd just would like
to come at ten,
and spend a couple of hours
and see them.
All right, goodbye.
You got a cookie?
Thank you.
I think my marriage is finished.
I wouldn't know
what to do with the money
when we get it anyway.
Did you ever get
a pain in your chest?
- What kind of pain?
- A very sharp pain,
- near the shoulder.
- No.
Ugh, I'm beginning
to fall apart.
Why is he insisting
you fly back there?
- I don't know, why worry?
- Reese, he's not asking
for this meeting
to do us any favors,
he probably wants to screw us.
Well, if we don't like his deal,
we'll do our laundry
somewhere else.
I wish we didn't have to
do this tonight, I'm exhausted.
We have to rig the lights,
take care of the dimmers.
- Oh boy.
- Gotta handle the gate.
We've got to do it tonight,
because I don't wanna
miss any work... they're beginning
to look at me at work
- in a strange way, you know.
- That's like the pain
- in your chest.
- I know, I understand,
they know nothing,
but I'm beginning to feel
like everything I do,
they're thinking,
"he's a bank robber."
Come on.
I guess
I'm getting intellectual.
I'm just associating
the robbing a bank with sex.
Maybe I'm robbing a bank
because my sex life is no good.
I've never had anything
in my life happen to me
like with this girl.
Really.
I mean, I... I... I don't think
you could say
that I was afraid of women.
I wasn't afraid of Doris,
not when we met.
But I was...
You know this is
my first affair in years.
- Really?
- Really.
- The first?
- First time.
It'll probably drop off.
There she is.
The most beautiful girl
in the world.
- Uh-huh.
- This is good.
I wanna be able to see
the guard station.
- Okay.
- And the garage entrance
at the same time.
And we've got a pretty good
line of sight on the vault.
- Ah, huh?
- That's about it,
that's a good spot, huh?
- We should be far forward.
- Just a second.
Now I suddenly am nervous.
Yo, look, you see the garage?
- See it.
- And can you see the guard?
- Look it, look.
- See him.
I think we're being followed.
Hang on.
- Who is that?
- I think it's that guy
Stacey knows from the fair.
Hold tight.
Slow down, Reese, come on, easy!
Ohh. You've done it.
Do you get pleasure out of that?
I was positive that
that cop was gonna say to us,
"robbing a bank, are you?"
Or something like that.
Eh, could have got me
for reckless driving,
if I hadn't said I'd slipped.
Do me a favor and pay the ticket
first thing in the morning.
Just go right down there
and pay it,
so there's no problem
whatsoever.
You want curry?
No, I'll have scotch.
I can't figure out
what she ever saw in him.
What the hell's the difference
to you what she saw in him?
- What do you care?
- How many cigarettes
is that today?
- Seventeen.
- Oh boy.
Turn out the light
and start packing.
Why?
Because the freak
in the car is there.
Man's a nut, he's a psychopath.
- How long are you staying?
- How much is gonna be a week?
$. "We'll take it.
.
Here, to help with that.
Okay.
Okay, thank you.
You'll have to tell her tonight
before that weirdo
- shows up again.
- I'm not going to lie to her.
It's not a lie, just tell her
you're going to Macau
- for a couple of months.
- That's a lie,
I'm only going for three days.
That's not a lie,
it's an exaggeration.
Stacey?
Reese?
Mm, smells good.
Yeah?
Double.
- You're looking rather spiffy.
- Well, it's the least I could do
- so I did it.
- But seriously, folks.
- Champagne.
- Ahh.
Oh, a celebration?
Of course,
I have some news for you.
My peregrinations
lead me to that
maelstrom
of inscrutable fecundity.
The orient.
- How long?
- Two months.
- When?
- Tomorrow.
It means we're going to be
apart for a while, but...
Well, it's been grand.
Screw you, Reese.
- Doctor hale, ...
- What do you mean
you're going to the orient?
Two months. What the hell for?
I'm not permitted to tell you.
- Stuff it!
- Come on, Stacey,
- I'm not allowed to tell you.
- Bullshit, and don't use
- those $ words on me!
- Come on!
Have I ever been anything
but straight with you?
I know, well I could tell you,
I'm not allowed to reveal to you
- the nature of my activities.
- My imagination may be
a little worn, but how exactly
does an earthquake inspector
make a fortune in the orient?
- Selling short?
- Okay, I am permitted
to reveal to you the fact
that I am not, in fact,
an earthquake inspector.
- Are you married?
- No, I'm not married,
- what do you mean, am I married?
- Well, you lied to me.
Well, what, Stacey,
I wouldn't lie to you,
I haven't lied to you
since I've known you.
Stacey, I'd do anything to prove
that I wouldn't lie to you.
Bad mistake.
Think so?
Shouldn't have happened.
I don't think
a r*pe charge will stick.
No, it's my fault.
Aw, don't take all the blame.
What'd I say?
Nothing was revealed.
Well, not nothing.
Yeah but,
where does all this lead to?
Oh, why don't we
start with coffee
and go from there?
If you're going to Macau,
better put your pants on.
Right, Macau.
I would rather pay for you
to go see a psychologist, but...
- Look, it will not...
- Cure sexual obsession.
Come on, it's not sexual,
it's got something,
I don't know what it is,
but it will not
endanger anything,
she thinks I'm in the far east.
The ticket will
come from the far east,
she'll just see me in
the far east, it'll be isolated.
If you could guarantee me that
I would be on a desert island
with all the money,
and a few months, fine,
but you will not
be able to do that.
I guarantee you, I promise you,
have I ever...
Come on, I promised
you that absolutely
there would be no problem, okay?
Really?
You'll be on a desert island.
- Yes, I know where I'll be.
- I can't guarantee
- how much money there'll be.
- I'll be at devil's island,
- that's where [I'll be.
- Oh boy.
I've sent the telex,
she'll think I came from China.
The plane goes in an hour.
Plane goes in an hour?
- She gonna meet you there?
- I don't know, I hope so,
- I'll find out when I get there.
- Mm, good.
I saw Doris's lawyer today.
- She got a lawyer?
- Yeah, very nice chap.
$ a day.
Doris wants a divorce.
Wants the children, of course.
- Oh boy.
- Wants to give Norman
Saturdays between and .
Visitation rights.
Another piece of good news,
Marie, you remember
the beautiful Marie?
Won a prize on a game show.
Trip to the Panama Canal
on a boat, luxury cruiser.
One ticket,
so Norman doesn't go,
he's too busy robbing a bank
anyway, so he couldn't go.
And Norman's best friend, Reese,
take months' work,
and throws it down the drain.
Ah, you really think
it's a smart thing?
It's the smartest thing
I ever did in my life.
Okay.
Bring me back a nice camera,
some duty free cigarettes,
and some booze, good luck.
- See ya.
- Okay.
Here you are.
Okay, thank you, uh, there.
Now you hide in the bathroom,
and you come out
when she comes in,
okay, thank you.
And you'll play as you come out,
okay, thank you, bye.
Ah, Dom Perignon, ?
That's the most romantic thing.
So, how's your friend Peter?
He calls a lot, that's all.
I think he's finally accepted
the reality of us.
Terrific.
Oh, I have
a little present for you.
- What?
- $,.
Hm, what do you mean?
The bank now thinks you're
perfect for the promotion art.
Your picture's gonna be
on the billboard.
- You're the billboard man.
- No!
No, you gave me the negatives.
Just the dupes, exciting, huh?
Oh.
Ohh.
That's to bring you back.
You spent the whole thousand.
Well, now that
I'm a big-time model.
October th, that's...
Three weeks, can you make it?
I'll be here.
Hey, Mr. Tsang,
this is my friend Stacey Bishop.
- Nice to meet you here.
- Nice to meet you.
It's a pleasure.
Who's he?
Part of the conspiracy?
He makes blue jeans.
How did you learn
to speak Chinese?
With difficulty.
No, I was here in ', '.
- CIA.
- No.
You were part of the CIA.
During Vietnam.
Oh, everybody was part
of the CIA.
They just didn't know it
at the time.
- dr*gs, you smuggle dr*gs.
- No, absolutely not.
Not dr*gs, not CIA,
not white sl*very,
none of those.
I don't even care,
you know that?
Doesn't matter, I trust you.
- I trust you.
- Ah, not enough to tell me.
I trust you,
I don't know why, but I do.
I know why.
I'm in love with you.
Is that okay? Wonderful.
Just wonderful.
I love you.
I will always love you.
Three weeks.
Fifty cents?
I don't play that game.
Jesus Christ.
Jimmy Carter.
Thanks a lot.
Well, at least you had time
for some business.
There's the van.
- Two-way mirrors.
- Uh-huh.
Best I could do
in terms of color.
- Mhm.
- I think it's fine.
- Huh, like it?
- A diamond, yeah.
Plenty of room inside.
All my equipment.
- What do you think?
- Close it up.
- Yeah, terrific, excellent.
- It'll work.
How much you have to pay for it?
I traded in your car.
My car wouldn't cover this.
Took a second mortgage
on my house.
That's not
who I think it is, is it?
Looks good, doesn't it?
Yeah, it looks like
years to life to me.
Nobody'll ever recognize me,
I guarantee it.
I'll recognize you.
Till my dying day,
I'll recognize you.
Start doing it.
What's going on?
He's shaving I guess.
Well, what's he shaving?
Okay.
How was that?
He didn't recognize me.
We got it.
- Okay.
- She confessed everything.
The bank computer system,
which united security bank
is introducing,
is the most sophisticated system
in banking today.
Now, this computer control
is activated by my fingers
passing across this surface.
Registering my fingerprints.
My associate, Eugene Haliburton,
and vice president,
performs the same
print read-out.
And only our fingerprints
will activate the code board.
It's foolproof, I assure you.
This is gonna be
a nice operation.
Listen,
they're opening the bank.
I don't think, I think it's
better we don't.
Give me the glasses.
- Recognize me?
- No, I don't.
In the entire building,
is this instrument here.
Now, the code board opens
at : am,
five days a week.
Our fingerprints are delivered
to a master print-out computer
in New York City.
Now then, this master computer
is programmed,
upon receiving these prints,
to send information
back to our controller computer,
and from there,
- back to this bank...
- You want some punch?
- No, I'd rather not.
- Including deposits,
- withdrawals, checking...
- Mm, we'll make a withdrawal.
Biggest withdrawal they've
ever seen in their lives.
Information concerning...
I think I'll throw myself
at his mercy.
"Help"?
Why you put "help" in there,
you think there's
a little person in there
gonna help you?
Sometimes this idiot gives
information, honest to god.
"Invalid entry,
please try again."
Sounds like Doris.
Except she wouldn't say,
"please try again."
Reese?
Bingo.
Bingo!
Peter, what have you done?
Wake up, talk to me.
How many did you take?
Wake up, Peter!
- Wake up!
- I wanna go to sleep.
You can't die, I won't allow it.
Please, Peter, why have you
done this to yourself?
- I just wanna go away.
- No, no, you are not
- going far away, no.
- Far away.
You are staying with me,
talk to me.
Tell me about
what you've been doing.
What about your mural?
That was so great
for under the bridge.
Talk to me.
Peter, I love you.
I've always loved you.
I will always love you,
I'll always love you.
Come on.
I think I'd better
get under the bed sheets.
No, no, no,
you can't go to sleep.
Peter, Peter,
you can't get into bed.
Peter.
Peter, you have so much
to live for.
What?
Just wake up, come on.
You're just saying you love me
because I took the pills.
No, no, that is not true.
I mean it.
- I love you.
- Show me.
- Come on, Peter.
- Will you make love to me?
Oh, Peter, don't be silly.
Come on, Peter, please.
Peter!
I didn't take any pills.
I wasn't sure how you felt.
I'll k*ll you.
I'll k*ll you,
is that your idea of a joke?
You think this is funny?
You are very sick.
You are a very sick human being.
Get out of my bed,
get out of my life!
If you wanna k*ll yourself,
don't do it in my house!
Now get out! Out!
You're dead! You are dead!
I thought you were just
good friends with this girl?
You're not behaving
like you're good friends.
You're behaving a lot more like
you did when you fell for that...
Oh shit!
Why does it always
have to happen to me?
I'm never gonna look at
another woman as long as I live.
Don't lose your sense of humor.
Hello, operator, hi, yeah.
Would you just give me -.
Hi, Richie,
how are you sweetheart?
Daddy, yeah.
No, I'm in a hotel
with uncle Reese.
She left you alone?
How do you like that?
She left the kids alone.
Okay, Richie,
don't be afraid, honey.
I'm sure mommy
will come back soon.
No, I can't come home now.
I'm sorry, I'll call you,
I'll call you in a little while
to make sure you're okay.
All right, bye,
goodbye, sweetheart.
Well, what do you say
we go Rob a bank?
Come on, Reese,
it hurts me too, forget it.
Tomorrow at this time
we'll be on a plane
laughing about the whole thing.
Or not.
All right, Reese, come ahead.
Come ahead.
There's a chubby weirdness
doing slight movements
that I don't think
we really quite need
at this point.
Come on, you fat wart.
All right, you can come.
Sorry, stay where you are.
Close it up.
Leave me about
four inches, okay?
What are you doing?
Norman.
Norman,
the door of the vault is closed.
Norman.
Norman?
Norman?
Norman, answer me, please.
Norman?
Norman?
Norman!
Sorry, old buddy,
we had some visitors
from another planet
dressed in blue.
Just pack your suitcase,
and pack it tight.
This is going to take a minute.
Okay.
Please,
drive very carefully,
and don't get a ticket.
Excuse me.
Hey.
Um.
This is too much.
Jesus Christ.
We did it.
It's just too g*dd*mn much.
What the... Christ!
Jesus Christ!
I can't believe it.
This is $ million.
What if only Doris could...
If she could see.
Sure you don't
want me to come with you?
Wait at the airport.
Bye, father.
Bless you, my son.
Straight to the airport.
What can I do for you, officer?
Your right taillights out,
father.
Can I see your license?
Sure, I'll get that fixed
right away.
No, take it out, please.
Well, Alaska, how long
have you been down here?
Oh, just a couple of weeks.
Listen, if you're planning
on staying down here,
you've gotta get
a local license, you know.
- Yes, sir, I know.
- What have you got in the back?
Clothing, used clothing,
I'm a missionary.
I'm on my way to the docks
for the shipment of clothes
for our mission in Macau.
Macau, where is that?
Uh, it's on the coast of China.
We do very good work there.
Hm, I'll be right back, father.
Yes, sir.
calling in.
I want a D-L on Alaska.
-.
It's Halpern, p-e-r-n,
first name is Reese.
I'll wait.
, warrant.
Okay, got it.
Father, would you take your Van,
and pull it into
the parking lot right there?
- What's the trouble, officer?
- I'm gonna have to take you in.
You've got
an outstanding moving violation.
That's impossible,
that's impossible.
I mean, I paid it,
I paid it myself,
I paid it, I paid it
two or three months ago.
- I paid it.
- But you've only been here
- two weeks.
- But no, that's this time,
I mean, I come and go, I come...
Officer, I've got to get
those clothes to the docks
by o'clock, otherwise
- they'll miss the ship.
- Father, take the Van,
pull it in there, you can
lock it in a couple of minutes.
- Now.
- I will miss the ship, officer,
if I don't...
Yeah, I know,
a -hour taxi drive.
After spending my time
at the bus station
- doesn't change it.
- Oh, I don't know yet...
That's ridiculous, I can
give you a check, credit card.
- Cash only, father.
- That's an awful mistake,
my son, I've paid this ticket.
I mean, we're on a computer
here, father,
it doesn't make mistakes.
Only God doesn't make mistakes.
Well, you better pray
for us all then, father.
Now, I need your belt.
Look, I don't have time
to talk, Doris, in detail,
I want you to come with me,
and I want you
to bring the children,
do you understand?
You can!
Sorry, sir, he's
not answering the page
what?
What! Shut up, god damn it!
- What? I can't hear you.
- I'm sorry, sir,
- he's not answering the...
- He is there!
This means more to me
than anything in our life,
we can start again,
we had wonderful years.
Okay.
That's all, father.
Oh no, one more, my son,
please, I beg you,
in the name of everything
you hold sacred, please.
Just one more call, please.
- Okay.
- Thank you, my son.
- Hello.
- It's me.
Reese, where have you been?
I thought we were leaving today.
I'm in the Tyson street
police station,
I need to be bailed out of jail.
Reese!
Well, priest.
- You taking a vow of silence?
- Shut up.
Father, my car is this way.
I'm sorry I had
to impose on you,
I'll make sure
you get your money back.
I'm going that way, thank you
very much for everything.
It was real. What?
Reese!
Is this part
of this whole priest routine,
or are you really?
You're not really a priest?
Look, let's drop it, okay,
the whole thing,
it was my mistake,
just take care of yourself.
Good luck.
Hey.
What is your problem?
You, and I'm getting rid of it
right now.
What is going on?
- What is happening?
- Taxi!
We were supposed to go
to Macau today, remember?
- I'm already packed.
- Oh, you're really twisted,
- aren't you?
- What is wrong?
- What happened?
- Look, forget about it,
will you, just drop it!
You go your way
and I'll go my way, okay?
Hey, man, I don't know
what your game is,
but you are blowing it bad.
Good.
You are pissing me off!
Just leave me alone, will ya?
Taxi!
What is going on?
Just tell me that.
- Look...
- And take off this
- g*dd*mn collar.
- Taxi, I'm coming!
- Tell me, what in God's name...
- Just get out of my life!
Just go to hell,
will you, go to hell!
You ass,
I am supposed to go with you!
You shit! "I love you, Stacey."
I love you, I will never
leave you, we'll go away
on a -foot sailboat,
- and never let go before.
- Unbelievable, unbelievable
to think that I trusted you.
Trust!
I have given you no reason
to distrust me.
Trust, I have never asked you
one g*dd*mn question
about your whole costume parade.
- Will you shut up.
- Now you are a priest
I have to bail out of jail?
That's right, you go to hell!
g*dd*mn.
What about Peter?
What about "I love you,
please don't ever leave me,
please stay here tonight."
How about that? g*dd*mn it,
drive on, will you?
What about that, huh?
Just go.
Headquarters
at united security bank,
and I'm gonna switch you now
to Dave Bannock,
who's standing by.
Thank you very much, Paul.
We're in the new
united security bank building
on tender street at the scene
of what appears to be
the biggest bank heist in his...
At $ million.
When bank officials
opened the vault this morning,
the vault was clean as
Mother Hubbard's proverbial...
Anywhere on the bank premises,
and no known eye-wit...
Bank, which only opened
a few days ago, was reported
to have installed
the most advanced fail-safe
electronic security system
in the industry.
Bank officials are stressing
that no customer safety
deposit boxes were touched,
and any money taken
would have been insured.
I repeat, bank officials
are stressing that the bank...
Son of a bitch.
- Jesus.
- Father.
Sister.
You mother.
- Ah, brother.
- Means to an end.
You're an idiot and a fool,
and you don't deserve me.
Me and Peter.
If you ever doubt me again,
I'll turn you in to the fuzz.
I'm very happy to see you.
Why did you come?
I was taken
by a photograph of you.
Oh.
Oh God.
A Man, a Woman, and a Bank (1979)
Moderator: Maskath3