04x06 - Cash and Carry

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[RATTLING]

I'm through with prospecting
forever.

Me too. We've been diggin'
for six months,

and all I got is blisters.

I'm still gettin' blisters.

[TIRE POPS]

There goes our last tire.

We oughta
trade this car in next year.

Yeah. I hope it lasts
till we get home.

Home sweet home.

I can hardly wait.

Gee, the old neighborhood
still looks the same.

Hey, there's our house.

Turn in quick.

[RATTLING]

We made it.

[CHUCKLES]

Bring the key.
The car ain't insured.

Got the key? Yeah.

Good.

MOE: How do you like
that? Somebody in our house.

Let's throw 'em out. Come on.

Hey.

What's the idea,
moving into our apartment?

LARRY: Come on, beat it.

I'm sorry, mister.

Sis and I didn't know
anyone lived here,

so we just moved in.

But we'll get out right away.

Hey, where's your father?

We ain't got no father.

Just sis and I.

Wait a minute, son.

We made a mistake.
This ain't our house.

We didn't have any curtains.

Go on, sit down,
do your homework.

Oh, thank you.

Take it easy.

There we are.

I'm stuck.

How much is six and six?

Well-- Hey, you help him.

Six and six? Uh-huh.

Don't tell me.

Two sixes...

Hmm. Boxcars.

Boxcars?

Yeah, it looks like two lumps
of sugar with smallpox.

You throw it up against--
Hey, wait a minute.

What are you trying to learn
the kid?

Come on, we got places to go.

Get goin'.

Come on, hop to it.

[GRUMBLES]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

What's the matter with you?

It's him.
He's on a sit-down strike.

We gotta get some tires.

Tires? Where?

Right here where we got the car.

Oh. Go on.

[WHIMPERS]

There's one. Get it out.

[GRUMBLES]

[GRUNTING]

Oh, stubborn, eh?

[GRUNTS]

So you wanna strike back?

[GRUMBLES]

[YELPS]

It att*cked me.

[YELPS]

I'll attack you.

[RATTLES]

What'd you find?

Look. Oh, boy. Real money.

I didn't know
they put money up in cans.

Well, they don't.

CURLY: Sure, see? Canned coin.

Why are we prospecting
up in the hills,

when there's a gold mine
right in our own back yard?

Certainly.
What are we waiting for?

We'll start right here. Come on.

[GRUNTING]

[GRUMBLING]

See, Jimmie.

Gee, sis, won't be long
before that bank's full.

I know.

Oh, Jimmie, the money. What?

It's gone.

What's the idea,
hittin' me with tin cans?

[YELPS]

I didn't do it.

Did you?

[GROANS]

Oh.

Hey.

What are you doin' here?

This is our claim.

Oh, we didn't mean
to disturb anything,

but we had $ hidden
in a tin can and now it's gone.

The money we were savin'
for my leg operation.

You see, if we could get
Jimmie's leg fixed up,

then he could walk
like other boys.

There's your money, lady.

We didn't know.

Oh, gee, thanks. Look, Jimmie.

Oh, you don't know
what this means to us.

When are you gonna have
the operation done?

As soon as we get $ .

Five-hundred dollars?

Hmm. That's almost a million.

What do you leave your money
layin' around in cans for?

Why don't you put it
in the bank?

Will a bank give it back to us?

Oh, sure. They didn't used to,
but now they do.

And when you take it out,
they give you some more.

I had a dollar once--

That's enough.

We'll put the money
in the bank for you.

And then all you have to do
is wait till it grows to .

Oh, gee, thank you very much.

Come on, gentlemen.
We got bankin' to do.

Give her a twist.

Contact.

BOTH: Switch on.

Get under it. Grab that motor.

I'll get it. Don't worry.

[CURLY WHIMPERS]

[WHINES]

Why didn't you catch it?

Uh, bucks there.

How long do we have to wait
before it swells to ?

Sixty-two dollars?

Yes, sir.

That'll take you years,
six months and days.

Oh, we can't wait that long.

Why not?

Time marches on.

That guy won't cash this check.

Never mind. I think I see
some easy money.

Right.

Let's give 'em the business.

We can't do business with you.

Let's find another bank.

Sure. [WHINES]

Oh, pardon me, gentlemen.

How would you like
to get in on a deal

where you can make thousands?

That ain't enough.
We gotta make $ .

Go on, stranger.

You strangely interest me.

Now, I have a house-- Yes, sir.

and I know that you...

This is the house
I was tellin' you about, boys.

There's a treasure. It was
buried by Captain Kidd's kid.

No kiddin'. That's right.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Just a minute.

It'll cost you $

for the privilege
of diggin' it up.

Two hundred?
Two hundred or nothin'.

Well, we'll take it for nothin'.
Yeah.

Now, we got $ here.
How would that do?

Throw in the car
and it's a deal.

That money belongs to the boy.

I know, but we're investin' it
for him, ain't we?

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's a deal.

Get the tools. Go ahead.

Say, how will we know
where to dig?

Oh, uh-- Why, uh--

Give him the map.

Oh, yes. I almost forgot.

Here. Follow that map
and you can't go wrong.

Thanks.

You're welcome. So long, chumps.

Chumps? Ha-ha.
He don't even know our names.

Come on. We gotta get
that for the kid.

Come on. [YELPS]

[GROANS]

Hey, somebody beat us
to the furniture.

Let the finance company
worry about that.

Hey, where do we start?

Right here. Give me the tools.

[YELPS]

Come on. Stop dancing.
We got work to do.

Where's the map?

Right here. Well...

MOE: Walla Walla with an X.

I got it. X marks the spot
where the treasure is buried.

It's in the Walla.

But there's two Wallas.
Certainly.

There's a Walla
and there's a Walla over there.

Which one's it buried in?

It don't make any difference.

We'll each take a Walla.
Come on.

[HOLLOW BONK]

One at a time.

[HOLLOW BONK, ALL GRUNT]

I'm gonna stick your pick
in your head in a minute.

[KNOCK ON WALL]

[KNOCK ON WALL]

Hmm. Mice.

[CLANGS]

[WHIMPERING]

[SCREAMS]

[THUDS]

[GRUNTS, GRUMBLES]

Did you find anything?

Yeah, I found that first step

everyone tells you
to watch out for.

Well, don't lose it.

Hmm. Walla Walla with an X.

Hmm.

[GRUMBLES]

[GASPS, GRUNTS]

X. Walla Walla Walla.
I found it.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

[THUDDING]

[YELPS]

Curly, help! Help!

What are you doin' in there?

The building's cavin' in on me.

Keep cool.

I can't. It's hot in here.

[YELPING]

Take it easy.

I'll get you out.

[MOE'S HEAD THUDS]

[GRUMBLES]

[GASPS]

The treasure.

It's in the ground.

Hey, fellas, I got it.

Hey, fellas.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

[GRUNTING]

[BARKS]

[YELPS]

[GRUNTS]

What's the idea,
pulling the building down?

I found part of the treasure.

See? Where?

There.

Right on.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUMBLING]

[HUMMING]

Get that big bucket down here.

MOE: Hurry up.

[BUCKET CLANGS, MOE SCREAMS]

[GROANS]

I'd m*rder you
if I had you down here.

But I ain't down there.
Nyuck, nyuck.

CURLY:
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[CHUCKLES, YELPS]

[ALL YELPING]

What's the big idea?

I just dropped in.

Well, if we knew you was coming,
we'd have baked a cake.

What's the matter with you?
[YELPS]

[GRUMBLES, SPITS]

How do you like that? Get busy.

Oh, shut up.

Take this shovel.

Remember, we gotta get
the money for the kid.

Now, get busy.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[HIGH-PITCHED GROAN]

[SHRIEKS]

Why? [GRUNTS]

[MOE GRUNTS, GROANS]

What's that?

That's an eye.

Yeah, an eye for an eye.

Get out.
And a tooth for a tooth?

Certainly.

Get away from here. [YELPS]

Now, get busy.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

What's goin' on here?

[GRUNTS]

The idea is to get the dirt
out of the hole.

Oh. Now, get shoveling.

Wait a minute.

We gotta dig a hole
to put that dirt in.

Get your pick.

Here's one for you.

Now, we'll start right there.

Go ahead.

[TOOLS CLINKING]

Look, another Walla.

A concrete one.
Now we gotta blast.

Get a chisel and mallet.

Hey, look out.
Do you wanna get hurt?

Get over there.

Fore.

[YELPS]

Remind me to k*ll you later.

I'll make a note of it.

I ain't got a pencil.

Well, I changed my mind.
I'm gonna do it now.

[GRUNTS, WHIMPERS]

Grab that chisel, chiseler.

[YELPS]

I'll do the whackin'
around here.

[WHINES] Put it up there.

[MALLET CLINKING]

Hey, what's that noise?

Oh, that's from next door.
Some guy's rebuilding a house.

Oh.

It's through.

All right, get the dynamite.

Oh, boy, I like firecrackers.

[TRILLS, SPITS, SIGHS]

Hurry up.

[CHUCKLES]

[GRUNTS] [YELPS]

What's the matter with you?
You wanna blow us all up?

[GRUNTS]

Light her up.

[CACKLES]

Hey, we'd better get outta here.

Yeah. [WHINES]

How you gonna get--? [WHINES]

Where's the rope?

Ow. Ow, my leg.

Hey!

CURLY: Hey! LARRY: Let me up.

Outta my way. Outta my way.

[WHINES]

MOE: Get off of me.

[GRUNTING]

[MUFFLED GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS, WHIMPERS]

Look, it's open.

Another room.

Come on.

[YELPS]

[WHINES]

The treasure! We found it.

Now Jimmie can get
his operation.

There's enough here for
all of us to have an operation.

ALL [ECSTATICALLY]: Yeah.

[ALARM RINGING]

It's Vault .

[CHUCKLES]

[YELPS]

Hee-hee-hee. I don't care.

[GIGGLES]

Just right: $ .
The rest is profit.

[GIGGLES, GROWLS]

I got a bagful.

[GIGGLES]

[GRUNTING]

Hey, we better get a truck
to get this outta here.

You dummy.

[ALARM RINGING]

[GIGGLES]

Mmm.

Hey, we better take
this load out

and come back for another.

Oh, claim-jumpers, eh?

Well, beat it, all of you.
We were here first.

What wall did you come through?

Claim-jumpers?

You'll get life

for breaking into
the United States Treasury.

Treasury?

It said Walla Walla on the map.

Stealer!

[YELPS, GROANS]

Get 'em out of here.

I'm sorry, gentlemen,

but the Senate subcommittee
will have to wait.

The president is in conference.

Yes, sir. And when they told us
the money was yours,

you could've knocked us down
with a gold bar.

And that's the whole story,
Mr. President, so help me.

I see.

Well, Jimmie,

I shall arrange personally
for your operation.

Thank you, Mr. President.

And as for you, gentlemen,

in view of the extenuating
circumstances,

I find it possible
to extend to you

executive clemency.

Oh, no. Please, not that.

[YELPS]

Mr. President means we're free.

No. Yes.

Gee, Mr. President,
you're a swell guy.

You said it.

[♪]