03x01 - Ants in the Pantry (1936)

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Any checks?

No checks, Mr. Mouser.
All bills.

Bills, bills.

Nothing but bills!

This rat-catching business
is going to the dogs.

Where is those three loafers?

They're in there
talking politics.

Politics?

Yeah. I just heard
one of 'em say,

"Let's have a new deal."

Cut the cards.

Oh, you don't trust me, eh?

Why, I oughta...

[YELLS]

Ah, good morning, boss.

Get your things together
and make it snappy.

Oh, boy. We're going on a job.

What, already? We had a job
two months ago.

Brush the hair out of your eyes
and get going.

You heard what he said.

You too, Rain-in-the-Face.

Come on,
get your things together.

You get me tired.

Loafers. Lowlifes.

I'll show 'em. Hm.

[THUDS]

Oh...

What's that thing for?

You never can tell.
We might meet up with a bear.

Yeah,

meet my bare hand. Get out.

All right, boss, where do we go?

You go to blazes.
You're fired! Through!

Oh, now, listen, boss,

give us another chance, will ya?

CURLEY: Yeah, be a regular guy.

All right! I give you
one more chance.

But you go out
and drum up business,

or you don't come back.

What do you mean,
"drum up business"?

If people ain't got ants,
they ain't got ants, that's all.

So then you give them ants.

And mice! And moths!

All through their houses!

You Dummkopf.

Oh, boss,
you got a head like Napoleon.

Come on.

[CHATTERING]

Oh, my dear Lord Stoke Pogis.

I'm so glad you came down
for the hunt.

Thanks, awfully.

You know, the last time
I rode the hounds,

it was with his gracious,
the Duke of Piccadilly.

I think we struck oil.

You take care of
the lower floor.

You go get a ladder
and we'll handle the upstairs.

Go ahead. Get going. Okay.

Easy.

Easy! Whoop!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Scram, scram. scram--

Get out. Shh, shh...

[WOMEN CHATTERING]

Quick, somebody's coming.

[YELPS]

Beat it, kid. I'll hide.

[YELPS]

Why don't you scram?

I can't, my hand's caught!

Wait, under there.

Oh, dear.

My foot's just k*lling me.

But I must show you my beautiful
new broadtail coat.

I'd love to see it.

You'll love it.

[HUFFING]

[PANTING]

Look! Oh, my beautiful coat!

Look!

Why, I didn't know we had moths.

Have them cleaned out
immediately

and put on my shoe.

Oh, dear.

CLARA: Oh, don't be excited.

Oh, Beulah, take it easy.

Oh, there, there, Beulah.

Don't be so excited.

I don't know, I'm distraught.

[CRIES]

[SCREAMING] A mouse!

Oh, Beulah! Oh, my goodness.

[CLAMORING]

Get it. Oh, Clara.

Where is it?

Oh...

Oh!

Is something crawling
on my back?

You have ants.

Oh... So have you!

Ah, yoo-hoo?

Girls?

Girls?

That chatterbox, Eleanor.

If she finds this out
she'll tell everybody.

[GASPS]

Oh, there you are.

My dears, I've been looking
for you everywhere.

You simply must come down
and meet my Willy.

Oh, in just a moment, dear,
we'll be right down.

Oh, no, I want you
to come down right now.

You know, I call him, Baldy?

He calls me his little hazelnut.

Isn't that the funniest
thing you ever heard?

[ALL CHATTERING]

Isn't that just
the funniest thing?

You know, he's been married
a couple of times already...

Success. Success.

BOTH: Success.

Phew...

What's the idea
taking the ladder away?

I didn't take no ladder.

Come on, get your things
together quickly.

What is it?

Pardon me, got any mice,
insects, ants or bugs

you want exterminated?

Heaven must have sent you to us.

We are overrun by them.

Come right in, gentlemen.

Please wait here.

My word, Gawkins,
what are these?

These are the pest
exterminators, madam.

Well, if you gentlemen
will exterminate them

without letting my guests know,

I shall reward you handsomely.

You can depend on us, toots.

What do you mean,
gettin' familiar with the dame?

Don't pay any attention
to him, babe.

Oh, Gawkins,

dress them in riding habits
like the other guests,

so they can work in
the living room, unobserved.

And gentlemen, don't forget,

you must not disclose
what you are doing.

We get you, lady.

Come with me, gentlemen.

Boy, what does this room
remind you of?

The reform school.

[GRUNTS]

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

Get to work at once.

And above all,
don't be conspicuous.

Hey, if that "conspicarus"
means what I think it does,

I'm apt to punch you
right in the nose.

Pipe down,
it's derived from the Latin.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

What school did you go to?

Oxford.

Well, you better go back
to high shoes.

[YELPS]

Now, you.

You take the front
part of the house.

I'll take the upstairs,
you take the kitchen.

No, you take the upstairs,
I'll take the kitchen.

Oh, toots. Come here.

You know, little girl,
I'm gonna like you.

I like you too, you big
handsome mouse-catcher.

Ah, let's leave business
out of this.

You know, all my life
I've dreamed of lovin'

a girl like you.

And I never believed in
love at first sight

until this very minute.

Kiss me.

Ah, kiss me.

Anything else, sir?

I'm poisoned, I'm poisoned.

[YELPS] Get out. Get to work.

Get to work. Oh, toots,
wait a minute, will ya?

Wait a minute.

See any mice?

Oh, what are you doing?

Get those cats out of here.

Quickly, quickly, hurry.

Hey.

Hey, get rid of those cats quick
before somebody sees us.

What'll I do with them?

Give 'em to me. Wait--

Put 'em in there. Hurry up.

Say, uh, what ever
happened in ?

What street?

Skip it.

and that's how
it actually happened.

How very interesting.

You haven't told us that before.

Quite remarkable, isn't it? Yes.

[CHUCKLING]

Your lordship,

you're as pale as a ghost.

A what?

Uh, let me try your reflexes.

There.

[YELPS]

and I'm so glad I could.
It's really the most

enjoyable party, I--

Mrs. Burlap always has such
interesting people, you know.

[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]

WOMAN:
Fox hunts are so thrilling.

Heh, hello.

May I have this dance?

But what dance?
There's no music.

I never dance to music.
Let's shake the tootsies, kid.

[YELPS]

Oh, yes, I always, uh,
enjoy myself.

Mrs. Burlap says she...

[SHOUTS]

[GRUNTING]

[CLAPPING]

[CHANTING GIBBERISH]

[HOWLS]

[SCREAMS]

Quiet, you'll scare him.

Do come over later then, judge.

Will you? Oh, that--

Ow! You blithering idiot.

Oh, not you, judge.

You wanna get us
thrown out of the place?

Wait a minute, I got it.

This will fix those rats.

[SNEEZES]

Hey, try this.

Ah, Camemberty.

Mmm.

How do you feel? All right?

Do you feel a little dizzy?

I never felt better in my life.

LARRY: I knew it.

I didn't put enough
rat poison in this cheese.

Yeah.

[SQUEAKS]

[GROANS]

What's the idea?

What does he think I am, a rat?

Yeah, what about it?

Well, he don't have
to tell everybody.

Mmmmm.

Serves you right.

You started everything.

Oh. I can't see.

I can't see!

BOTH: What's a matter?

I got my eyes closed.

Get out. Spread out.

Come on.

Oh, poppy-seed cake.

Want some?

No, no.

What's going on here?

You want some poppy-seed cake?

Did you come to work
or to a banquet?

To a banquet.

[YELPS]

To a banquet and he got a--

[SPITS]

Now that the banquet's over,
make it snappy.

We gotta work fast
or you don't get paid.

Hmm. Get it off your face.

All right, I'll get it off.

Right this way, professor.

Right here.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it gives me great pleasure
to introduce to you

Professor Repulso who will
favor us with a piano recital.

She say he was gonna
play the piano?

The cats.

[MEOWING, CRYING]

[HISSING, GROWLING]

[SNARLING]

Come here.

Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck-nyuck--

[YELPS]

[GRUNTS]

[YELPS]

Now, get in that piano
and get those cats out.

Hurry up. All right.

[YOWLS]

Hurry up, now.

I can't reach 'em.

[SNARLS]

I'll hold your feet.
Get in there.

[YELLING]

Take it easy, kid, I'll get you.

Hey, Moe, get me out of here!

I'm caught.

Hey, puddinghead.

Lend a hand.

Which one?

Both of 'em. Pull!

[YELPS]

[SCREAMS]

[THUD]

What happened?

Get me out.

The cats are k*lling me.

Oh!

I'll m*rder you
when I get out of here.

[YELPS]

[TEARING]

Get me outta here!

Get me out!

Ow!

MOE: Lift the piano off.

[ALL LAUGHING]

I got ya, I got ya, I got ya--

[YELPS]

Get out here and give us a hand.

Come on.

What do you wanna do, k*ll him?

Save him for me, I'll k*ll him
when he gets out.

Come on, kid, take it easy.

I'll bite you back.

It was a great fight,
what happened?

Who won?

Aren't they the cleverest
entertainers?

Entertainers?

What an ingenious idea.

Oh, my dear,
I thought they were guests.

They did it so naturally.

[ALL LAUGHING]

You know, we should
congratulate Mrs. Burlap.

Her entertainment
is certainly novel.

[ALL TALKING AND LAUGHING]

Your entertainment
is a huge success.

How did you ever think of it?

Wasn't it?

Oh, why--

I saw them in vaudeville.

Oh, how clever.

[CHATTERING]

Well, lady--

You were perfectly wonderful.

You funny men.

Oh, you must come
on the fox hunt with us.

We always did wanna get in
on that fox-hunting racket.

Not me!

[YELPS]

I'm not going.

[SQUEALS]

I'm still not going.

I guess I told him.
I guess you did.

[SCREAMS]

♪ A-hunting we must go ♪

ALL: ♪ A-hunting we must go ♪

♪ Hi-ho the derry-o ♪

♪ A-hunting we must go ♪

[BARKING]

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

WOMAN: Come on, boys. Hurry up.

[CONGESTED]
My cold is k*lling me.

Are my ankles sore.

Get over there.

[GROANS]

[SNEEZES]

[HONKS]

Did you hear that bugle?

They must have seen a fox.

Give me a hand.

I see a fox.

[SQUEALS]

Come here, foxy.

Come here, come here.

Come here.

[SQUEAKS]

I got him! I got him!

I got a fox.

Where?

Ahh...

[SNEEZES]

[WHINNIES]

[♪]