04x03 - I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do
Posted: 06/27/23 13:23
Dad.
When I grow up,
do I have to get married?
Oh, no, Nicholas!
You don't have to get married.
You also don't have
to decide right now.
Why don't you wait till you
graduate from elementary school
before giving it
serious thought?
Why do you ask?
Well, I was at
Kenny P. Lander's house today.
And all his parents did
was yell at each other.
And I figured I get
yelled at enough as a kid.
Who needs it later?
Well, look. You-you can't
judge marriage by one couple.
Maybe Kenny's parents
were just having a bad day.
Besides, some couples show love
at the top of their lungs.
Well, at least, when you're
married, you get to yell back.
Now, you got the wrong
idea on marriage.
Besides the yelling,
there's, uh, all kinds of fun.
- There is?
- 'Oh, yes.'
You can't imagine.
Look at Abby and me.
How can I?
Your door is always closed.
Oh! Well..
Eh, that, uh..
Nicholas, clean the windshield.
Nicholas, the windshield.
[funk music]
[theme song]
♪ There's a magic in the
early morning we've found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles
on everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ For eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days ♪
♪ Like bright
and shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled
by the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
Hi, is this Mr. Bobby Randall?
Well, I have a message
for you from Marsha.
Hold on.
[blowing harmonica]
♪ Bobby ♪
♪ How I miss you
How I miss you ♪
♪ My dear friend Bobby ♪
♪ I'd give the world to be ♪
♪ Back in the dorm with ♪
♪ B-O-B-B-Y because I love ya ♪
♪ Can't stop missin'
reminiscin' ♪
♪ My dear friend Bobby ♪
♪ When you come back ♪
♪ You'll see that
I can make you ♪
♪ H-A-P-P-Y because I'm.. ♪♪
Nancy Bradford.
And this has been a singing
telegram from Hot Wire.
What is Nancy doing out there?
- She's earning a living.
- It's her new job.
- Singing telegrams.
- Singing telegrams?
I thought they went out
sometime before World w*r II.
Well, they're back.
- Staying for dinner?
- No.
Janet and I have other plans.
Huh! You've had other plans
every night this week.
- Don't you love us anymore?
- Of course, I do.
It's just that
Janet feeds me better.
- Aw..
- Don't wait up.
Did I hear singing?
Dear ol' Bobby didn't think so.
[doorbell rings]
Nicholas, would you get that?
I can't face another critic.
Sure.
Hi, Nicholas.
How's my ol' buddy?
- Ooh!
- Fine.
You wanna play some catch?
Um, sorry, slugger.
I haven't got time right now.
Got a date with Susan.
You haven't had
time to play catch
ever since you caught Susan.
[sighs]
W-w-whoa!
Hello there, young lady.
Well, hello there,
handsome stranger.
I-I thought, uh, i-if you
weren't doing anything
you might like to
give me a kiss.
Oh, I'll think about it.
Oh, then
you've thought long enough.
[giggles]
Mm. Delicious.
Mm, must be
my chocolate mint lip gloss.
No, I think it's more
like your lasagna.
Oh, thanks a lot.
We've only been back
together a few weeks
and already the romance
has gone out of our lives.
Untrue.
You see, the secret
to true romance
is to avoid acting romantic.
Oh! Is that so?
Mm-hmm.
Especially when you're
too nervous to be romantic.
Oh, why are you nervous?
Because, I, um..
To tell you the truth..
[sighs]
I'm about to ask you...Janet..
Hmm.
Will you marry me?
Well, will you?
'Our engagement ring.'
'You kept it?'
I guess I always knew
you'd come back to me.
Then you will marry me?
[instrumental music]
- Good coffee.
- It's cocoa.
Really?
Yeah. I guess my mind's
been kinda drifting.
Oh, where to?
Well, I have something
I have to tell you.
What?
I have to go
on the road in a week
and I'm gonna be gone
for almost a month.
Oh, Merle, a whole month?
- That's forever.
- I know, baby. I know. But..
Paragraph C,
sub-section of our contract..
...us Cyclones are not
allowed to take girlfriends
on the road with us.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too.
Dumb paragraph C,
sub-section .
- Do you really wanna elope?
- I think it's the right move.
But why? I thought eloping
was something that kids do
when they couldn't get
their parents' consent.
It's not consent
that I'm worried about.
It's all the hassles.
Look, my family has been
walking on eggshells with us
ever since we got back together.
They don't wanna do
anything that might
cause problems between us.
I've noticed the same
with my parents.
Well, I don't wanna do
anything that might
cause problems
for either family.
Namely, putting them through
the bother of a big wedding.
Let's just do it.
Okay, I see your point.
But, why do we have to run off?
Why can't we just go down
to the justice depuis
and tell them that we love
each other very much?
Because I had something
more romantic in mind.
Nice little cottage
on Lake Tahoe, just you and me.
Nice quiet weekend.
- That does sound romantic.
- Yeah.
And then Sunday morning,
we'll go into town
find a chapel and presto,
we'll be man and wife.
Man and wife?
Husband and wife?
Man and woman?
Okay. I give up.
Well, what will we be?
Happy.
[glasses clink]
(Nancy)
'Hi, may I please
speak to Debbie Albert?'
(Debbie on phone)
'Oh, this is Debbie.'
Yeah, well I have
a get well message for you
from the g*ng down
at K & B Upholstery.
Yeah. Hold on.
[snaps finger]
♪ Debbie ♪
♪ How we missed you
How we missed you ♪
♪ Our dear rose Debbie ♪
♪ Yeah ♪♪
Hello?
Debbie.
Debbie?
[clears throat]
I guess some people
just don't wanna be cheered up!
[giggling]
Hi.
Hi, Nance, how's the job going?
Someone just hung up on me on
the middle of the first chorus.
What does that tell you?
Your future's not in
singing telegrams.
I didn't want the phone work.
I requested the live jobs.
'At least they can't
hang up on you.'
Well, what's the problem then?
My boss says I lack
the necessary performing skills.
Namely, dancing.
Dancing? Uh, you got..
Oh! With an expert like
Elizabeth around to teach you?
Come on, show her a few things.
Okay, now, watch this.
Watch this, alright.
Just somethin' simple,
you know, to do while you sing.
Good. That's good.
Alright, you have it already.
Almost.
Hey, that's terrific, Nancy.
In no time at all, you'll be
shuffling off to Buffalo.
Yeah. With my sense of rhythm,
I'll be dancing like a buffalo.
[all laughing]
(Susan)
'Merle, you're not supposed to
be here for two more hours.'
- 'I'm not ready yet!'
- I-I don't care.
Just get yourself down here.
- This is important.
- 'Okay.'
'But you have to promise not
to look, my hair's in curlers.'
Oh, I don't care about that,
just hurry up.
'You promise you won't peek?'
O-o-okay, okay. Just hurry!
Now, what's so important?
Uh, lead me
into the living room.
[sighs]
[sighs]
Okay. Couch is behind you.
Sit.
Look, uh, this could be
a lot more romantic
if I could look at you.
I wouldn't bet on it.
Okay.
Susan, I can't stand
the thought of being away
from you for a whole month.
Oh, Merle, I know.
I can't stand it either.
So, I'm gonna take you
with me, beautiful.
- What did you say?
- Um..
I said you're beautiful.
No, Merle, not that part.
The part about
taking me with you.
Did you forget
about sub-section ?
Nope, I-I remembered
sub-section .
I can't take my girlfriend
but I can take my wife.
What?
We can get married before
I leave, like, this weekend.
This weekend? You mean
in a couple of days?
But, Merle, how can we get
a wedding together by then?
I mean, there's
arrangements to make.
And-and we have to buy clothes
and have to get blood tests--
Are you sure
this weekend's soon enough?
(Tom)
'Oh, boy, it's meals
like this that are gonna'
'force me to wear
stretch-pants.'
(Mary)
'Mm, you can say that again.'
I think I'm gonna walk it off.
Anyone wanna go with me?
Sure, I could stand to walk off
a few hundred calories. Nance?
Oh, these days
I'm singing mine off.
Um, Joan and Mary,
could you wait a minute?
I.. Merle and I have
an announcement to make.
'Yeah?'
Oh, huh..
Um, Susan and I
are pushing up our wedding date.
- Alright!
- Wait a minute, Nicholas.
What do you mean, how far up?
To this Sunday.
This Sunday. This Sunday?
Four days from now,
Sunday? But why?
(Susan)
'Well, Merle has to go
on a road trip on Monday.'
- So?
- Well, dad.
He's gonna be gone a whole month
and-and we can't stand
the thought of being
separated that long.
Oh, Susan, uh..
I-I mean, you're not gonna
have time to plan anything.
Well, I was hoping
all of you would help.
Sure, we'll help.
I hope this
doesn't put anyone out!
Why you're looking so put out?
Susan and Merle just announced
that they're getting
married this Sunday.
Looks like we're gonna have
to cancel our wedding plans.
Again.
[instrumental music]
I don't believe it,
of all days to pick!
This Sunday.
Well, there's not much
we can do about it.
I say we just
go ahead with our plans.
Susan will understand.
(Janet)
It's not Susan
I'm concerned about.
It maybe Susan's wedding,
but it is a family occasion.
Everyone should be there.
We can elope next weekend.
Two days before
you start a major court case
and I start
a big construction job?
No, there won't be
this much time.
We'll make time.
I mean, the whole idea was
not to create a family hassle.
Wasn't it?
You're wonderful, you know that?
No, I'm just a woman
who loves you
and who understands
you love your family.
I just hope my family realizes
how lucky they are
to be getting you.
Well, if they don't,
we'll tell them.
[chuckling]
(Susan)
'Okay, everybody,
let's talk about Sunday.'
Elizabeth, um,
I'd like you to make
the phone calls
to invite the guests.
- Okay.
- Logical choice.
Oh, and I'd also like you
to make the wedding cake.
- Carrot, of course.
- Sure.
And, um, I've decided
to have it in the backyard.
- The cake?
- No, the ceremony.
- In the backyard, Susan?
- Yeah.
Are you serious?
I think it will be pretty with
all the trees and the flowers.
And the leaves that
need to be raked.
And the lawn that
need to be mowed.
I mean, where do we seat people?
Where do we do for music?
'Susan, this is only
a couple of days away.'
Come on, Mary.
And all you guys, I thought
you promised to help me make
my wedding beautiful, remember?
- Right.
- Okay, then.
We agreed on an outdoor wedding?
Yes, and it will be fantastic.
Good, then, um, I'm gonna
go to the garage and see
if I can salvage
that old trellis.
Yeah. Great.
Come on now, we're not
being fair to Susan.
I mean, maybe we all don't
agree with what she's doing
but it is her big day
and we don't wanna ruin it.
I'm sorry, Abby, but I--
It's just hard not to
worry about her, you know.
I know. But let's try.
What do you think, dad?
Will it hold a people?
Oh, a ?
Well, yeah, there's
of the Cyclones.
Not to mention, the day school
g*ng plus family friends.
Susan, I think that maybe
you better prepare yourself
for certain amount of fallout.
I mean, some of these people are
gonna have plans this weekend.
Plans that they can't
change so quickly.
Well, then I'll just find out
who my real friends are.
Wouldn't it be better if..
If I waited? Is that
what you were going to say?
Well, yes, I think it
might be more considerate
to give people a little time.
So that they can do
this right for you.
Dad, I know what's right for me
and that's to marry
Merle this Sunday.
You're sure about that?
Couldn't be anymore sure if
we'd been engaged for ten years.
Yeah, but I mean,
you were sure about other
young men you dated
too, you know.
Dad, I know that I've said
I've been in love in the past.
But those were
just infatuations, crushes.
This is the real thing,
dad. I know it.
Well, in that case,
your love will hold
until Merle comes back.
There's plenty of time.
Mary, now, you. Why is
everybody fighting me on this?
Oh, no. We're are not fighting
you. We're on your side.
Then stop spoiling
things for me, dad.
I'm going on that
road trip with Merle.
Wouldn't you rather
I go as his wife?
I just wanted to
tell you, Mr. Donahue..
...I've been practicing
my singing and dancing.
Yeah. And I really think
I'm ready for some live work.
B-but, Mr. Donahue,
if you don't give me a chance
how will you know
what I can do?
Oh, I see.
There are no live jobs?
None at all?
Okay, I'll call again next week.
Yeah.
Thanks. Bye.
Can't get the big break, huh?
Yeah, I didn't realize
singing telegrams
were such a competitive field.
Aw. It's okay.
Can't your dad take a day off
to see you get married?
Eh, during harvest season,
Nicholas
there's no such
thing as a day off.
You don't get
the crops in on time
the whole summer's work is lost.
Well, there'll be
plenty of people there.
And Tommy
will be taking pictures.
So you can show them
what they missed.
Yeah, slugger. Guess that's
what I'll have to do.
You've ever been to
a wedding, Nicholas?
Uh-huh. Dad and Abby's.
I was the ring bearer.
I'd say you're an old hand
at this sort of thing.
Uh, I guess so.
Then, maybe you can help me
out with this little problem.
What problem?
Well, see, I had always
promised my cousin Fred
that he'd be my best man.
Since Fred's not gonna
be able to make it
I'm gonna need a-a pinch hitter.
Now, I figured if it
weren't for you, me and Susan
wouldn't be getting
hitched in the first place.
So, slugger, how would you
like to be my best man?
Best man?
Sure, nothing to it.
I don't know.
I've never been
a best man before.
And I'm only ten.
Heck, Nicholas, I got
a feelin' you'll be the best
best man this
side of the Ozarks.
Okay, but I'd rather
be a bad boy.
- Hi, Joannie.
- Oh, hi.
Well, pretty soon,
this all will be yours.
Yeah. Heh.
It's gonna be lonely.
- Miss your snorin'.
- Yeah.
We spent the last
years together
in these spacious quarters.
Yeah.
Shared our secrets
and our heartaches
and our private thoughts.
- Our clothes.
- Yeah. That too.
And I can't think
of anyone else I'd rather
share my moment with.
Joannie..
...I want you to
be maid of honor.
Oh, Susan.
Your maid of honor!
You happy?
Oh, of course, I am.
It's-it's a great honor.
Well, frankly,
Joannie, I thought
you'd be a little
more enthusiastic.
Oh, hey, I will be, honest.
You wait and see,
really, on Sunday
I'll be vibrating
with excitement.
You too, huh?
What do you mean?
Well, I expected static from
dad, Joannie, but not from you.
- Thanks a lot.
- Oh, Susan.
Susan, it's just because
I care for you.
So much, and you're so young.
- Oh, forget about it, Joannie.
- Susan!
Oh, no!
Hi, is this Clarence Bigelow?
[chuckles]
Everyone calls you Bingo, huh?
Well, anyway, Bingo,
my name is Elizabeth Bradford
and I'm calling to invite you to
Merle and Susan's
wedding this Sunday.
[chuckling]
Yeah. How about that?
The old pearl did
finally get snagged.
By my sister.
Yes.
Well, uh, the ceremony
starts at o'clock sharp.
Well, great, then
we'll see you Sunday, Bingo.
Me? No, no.
I'm not married.
Uh, thanks, Bingo, but I think
I'll wait a few more years.
Yeah, bye-bye.
Bingo.
[yawning]
How come I'm doing all the work?
Seniority, squirt.
That's not fair.
When will I get seniority?
Well, when Susan and Merle
have their first kid.
- Really?
- Sure, you'll be his uncle.
You can really
push the kid around.
Alright!
I said a nail, not a bolt.
Oh.
I'm sorry, I guess
I wasn't concentrating.
Is all this getting to you too?
[sighs]
Well, I'm trying not to let it
but I can't help but wish
we were the ones
getting married on Sunday.
It's not too late to change
our minds and go to Lake Tahoe.
No, we'll have our chance.
We shouldn't spoil things
for Merle and Susan.
I-I'm sorry, eh, what-what did
you say your name was again?
E. David Charles.
Oh, yes! Yes, now I remember.
You are the, uh, director
of publicity for the Cyclones.
And a man
with a very interesting
proposition for you, Tom.
Uh, may I call you Tom?
Go ahead.
You have already. Ha ha ha.
[chuckles]
Right.
Now, Tom, here's what
I have in mind.
What would you think
of two young lovebirds
brought together at home plate
before a grand stand
of captivated fans
who send them lovingly off
down the base paths of life?
Brings tears to
your eyes, doesn't it?
No. It doesn't.
[scoffs]
Think about
the possibilities, Tom!
'It's great publicity
for the team.'
And the owner will pick up
all the expenses.
Look, how much money you'd save.
I don't care about the money,
this is my daughter's wedding.
All I care about
is her happiness.
What girl wouldn't be thrilled
marrying a famous pitcher
in front of a throng
of adoring fans?
And I suppose we'll have
the umpire perform the ceremony.
Hey..
You may have something there!
Of course, we couldn't
use a real umpire.
But if we dressed
the minister up
in a chest protector,
then perhaps--
- This is ridiculous.
- No, this is spectacular.
Look, you're not going
to make a spectacle
out of my daughter's wedding.
You may leave, sir.
- I struck out?
- Out!
[door opens]
Susan, did you know
what the publicity man
from the Cyclones
had in mind for your wedding?
- Yes, dad.
- Well..
Well, this thing is turning into
a three ring circus.
Calm down, dad, Merle told
E. David to forget it.
You missed the point.
If you're going to make
hasty decisions like this
then you're just
opening the door to chaos.
It's not the way
I wanted it, dad.
I know that, so here's
what I want you to do.
'I want you to just consider
postponing the wedding'
to give you sometime to think
and give us time to prepare.
Right now,
things are so frantic!
Oh, I see, dad.
All this has become a little
too much for you to handle?
And for Mary, and for Joannie?
No, no, no. Try to understand.
I do understand, really.
- We'll call it off.
- Alright, for how long?
- Forever.
- What?
We'll call off
the wedding plans, dad
but we won't call
off the marriage.
Merle and I will just elope.
We don't need a family
who doesn't need us.
[dramatic music]
Good morning.
Anybody want any breakfast?
Uh, not really.
What's the old expression?
Let them eat cake?
It sure was selfish
of Susan to run off to Reno
and leave us with
half a wedding.
Now, wait a minute,
don't blame Susan.
Dad did a real number on her.
(Mary)
'Don't be so quick
to blame dad either, Tommy.'
I think we all did
our little number on Susan.
I mean, you have to admit
that we weren't exactly
exuberant about her plans.
Oh, boy, I sure wasn't.
She asked me to be
her maid of honor.
I tried to be enthusiastic
about it, you know, but..
...she could see I didn't
approve of her decision.
Which, when you think about it,
is really none of our business.
Oh, it is, when you
care about someone.
Yeah, well sometimes
this family cares too much.
Nancy, that's not true.
It's just that
when two people are in love
they usually
follow their hearts.
No matter who cares.
[sighs]
Tom?
- Tom.
- Hmm?
Oh, Abby, I'm sorry.
I didn't hear you come in.
I noticed.
I guess morale's
pretty low around here
for everybody today, huh?
Yeah. And as usual,
I'm the villain.
Oh. That's not true.
You weren't the only one who
thought Susan was being hasty.
Abby, are we wrong
to try to protect
our children from
hurting themselves?
No, we're not wrong.
Maybe sometimes we're just,
um, a little over protective.
What am I supposed to do?
Tell her that I approve
of her marrying a boy
that she's only
known for a month?
I-I had to say what I feel.
That's right, you have
to say what you feel.
And you could not have foreseen
how things were gonna turn out.
I can't stop thinking.
The first of my children
to get married
and I'm not even gonna
be there to see it.
I thought you guys were gonna
set up the trellis.
Well, haven't you heard? Susan
and Merle took off to Reno.
- They-they eloped.
- They eloped?
- What? Why?
- I don't know.
But if you find out, will
you please tell me so I ca--
I guess Susan didn't figure
we were too hip
on the idea of them
getting married, so they split.
I don't believe it.
(Tommy)
'Neither does dad.'
And if I were you,
I'd tiptoe past the study.
This is the last time
I try to arrange my life
around my family.
Oh, come on, David.
Think of how much
planning and arranging
our families went through
for the wedding we canceled.
Yeah. What are we
supposed to do now?
Oh, I don't know.
- Get married?
- Now, wait a minute.
You saw what one elopement
did to this family.
I don't think
they can handle another.
That's not exactly
what I had in mind.
What is going on in that
devious little mind of yours?
Well, since we were planning on
getting married this weekend
anyway, and, uh, since
everybody was so disappointed
there isn't gonna be a wedding
and...we worked so hard
to make the backyard beautiful..
You're suggesting we take
Merle and Susan's place?
Why not?
Why not?
Well, I guess someone should
think about fixing dinner.
I'm not hungry.
You haven't eaten all day, Tom.
Yeah.
You know, I bet Susan
is married by now.
[door opens]
- Hi, guys.
- Oh!
I didn't know you two were here.
We were on the porch
having a little discussion.
Yeah, Janet and I decided, uh
if it doesn't upset
things too much
we'd like to take
Merle and Susan's place.
What was that?
You mean, you guys
were thinking of..
Ironically enough,
we had planned
a nice, quite ceremony
out of state
but we shelved our plans
to be here for Susan's wedding.
You wanna be married?
Tomorrow? Here?
(David)
Yeah, if it's okay.
I realize we're last minute
replacements
but I think we make
a decent bride and groom.
Oh, you always have!
Oh, David, Janet.
Oh, that's so exciting!
I don't believe you.
This is great!
- 'Isn't that great?'
- 'Thank you.'
I don't believe it.
I just finished
calling all the guests
and nobody is coming.
Nicholas has Irving J. Moore
devouring all
the homemade canapes.
We still have time to
put it together, you guys.
- Now, that's the spirit.
- What about Susan?
Joannie, it is too late
to worry about Susan.
What we have to worry about
right now is David and Janet.
Okay, I guess
it's back to the phones.
If Tommy touched that cake,
I'm gonna layer him!
- Don't worry.
- I'm worried.
No, he won't.
[instrumental music]
Susan?
Honey, I thought
you were hungry.
I am.
Hey, you could've fooled me.
You haven't touched a bite.
Hey, now.
See that cook over there?
Well, he may not look like it
but he's very sensitive
about his cooking.
And you don't wanna hurt the big
fella's feelings, do you?
Okay. Cute's not gonna work.
Can I ask you something?
Is this the way people
are supposed to act
just before they get married?
'Cause, speaking personally,
I'm kinda excited about it.
I'm sorry. I guess
my mind wandered a little.
W-where did it
wander off to, honey?
Oh, back about years
when I was a little girl.
Yeah?
I don't know, it's just,
well, when I was little
on rainy days, I used to
sneak up to the attic
and I'd take my mom's
old wedding dress
out of the old trunk
and hold it up in front of me
and, uh, I'd act out
the whole ceremony.
- Y-you did?
- Yeah.
The old-the old trunk
would be the altar
and we had this bird cage
and that would be the preacher.
And mom and dad
were always smiling at me.
So was the rest of the family.
Everybody was there.
And then, I'd look over
at my husband
and...we'd be holding hands.
Then we'd kiss.
Heh, all the boxes
and the cartons would cheer
and-and I could hear the music,
from behind the walls..
[humming]
Then it'd get real quiet
a-and I could hear the raindrops
on the roof again..
Then I'd fold up the dress
and put it back in the old trunk
for another rainy day.
- Come on. Let's go.
- Huh?
I'm not gonna let you
miss out on your dreams.
(Elizabeth)
'Yeah, that's right, Dr. Max.
The wedding is back on.'
Uh-huh. Yeah, same time,
same place.
Different bride and groom.
Okay, we'll see you Sunday.
Bye-bye.
Oh, you guys, that's everybody
and believe it or not,
they're all coming.
- Great.
- Yeah, I believe it.
A Bradford wedding
is a major event.
Sure is.
[telephone ringing]
Hello.
Yes? Uh, this is Nancy Bradford.
Oh, hi, Mr. Donahue.
What?
You really mean it?
A live singing telegram!
'When?'
'Tomorrow?'
'I can't.'
My brother's getting married
and I..
I can do both?
What?
The telegram's for my brother
and his wife?
Wait a minute. Who sent this?
Oh, I see.
'And she said only
I could perform it?'
'Oh, yeah, I can
handle it. Sure.'
Thanks. Yeah. Bye.
Joannie, thanks.
[laughing]
I got a few breaks in my time.
It's nice to give one
for a change.
Thank you.
[knocking on door]
Wha..
I don't understand.
Are you married already?
Could we talk to you, dad?
Yes, of course. Come in.
Dad, it was-it was childish
and selfish of me
to run away like that,
and I am sorry.
I don't know
who it hurt more, you or me.
What's done is done.
Don't worry about it.
No, it's not, dad.
We didn't go through
with it, Mr. B.
Oh.. You mean
you're not married?
(Merle)
No, sir.
Susan loves y'all so much.
There's...no way we could have
got married without you there.
It just took me a little while
to realize it, dad.
Oh. Well, I'm glad you did.
You had a decision to make
and you made it.
It was yours to make.
Nobody can tell you whether
you're right or wrong.
I shouldn't have tried to.
Mr. B.
I want you to know right now
y-you don't have to worry
'cause I'm gonna take such
good care of your little girl..
I-I'll do anything it takes
to make her happy.
Just wait and see, I'll..
You have already
proven that, Merle.
How long have they
been in there?
Well, I saw them pull into
the driveway ten minutes ago.
Just long enough for dad
to hit the ceiling.
So, we-we have your blessin'?
Oh, yes, yes, you certainly
have my blessing
but I think you better
check with David and Janet.
They have to approve
our marriage?
(Tom)
'If you still plan on being
married here tomorrow, they do.'
Wait a second.
Uh, Susan, aren't you two, uh..
No, we're getting married
tomorrow, as planned.
That's funny. So are we.
- W-what's going on?
- We sort of took your place.
I-if nobody objects, I propose
that we have a double wedding.
I second the motion.
Sounds good to me.
Some of my best games
are double headers.
[all laughing]
Well, it's up to you.
Well, this family has always
been known for its togetherness.
Why stop now?
[all cheering]
[indistinct chatter]
[pounding on door]
(Tommy)
'Joannie, if you don't come out
of that bathroom in two minutes'
I'm gonna break the door down!
Joannie, I mean it.
I can't find my dress!
My dress! Uh, didn't somebody
pick it up from the cleaners?
- Here's your dress.
- Oh, thanks, Nance.
You're welcome.
Joannie, I'm gonna give you
till the count of three.
- One.
- My uniform!
- Where's my uniform?
- Two.
Nancy, remember
you wanted me to hem it?
Oh, thanks.
Three!
[door slams]
[knocking on door]
Anybody but Merle can come in.
[door opens]
- Hi.
- Hi.
There's no law
against the father
seeing the bride, is there?
No.
Susan..
I...I was up in the attic
and I...brought you this.
[instrumental music]
Your mother wanted you
to wear it.
She had this wonderful dream
about watching all her daughters
walk down the aisle.
She wanted the first one of them
to wear the dress that she wore
when we got married.
She was a beautiful bride too.
Susan, I'm sorry about
everything that happened.
Oh, I'm sorry too, dad.
It's just that I...
I love you so much.
And, gosh, you grew up
so fast that I-I can't
stop thinking of you
as my little girl.
Dad, I don't want you
to stop completely.
It's just..
...when other people are around
let's pretend that
we are a modern, mature
liberated father and daughter.
But when we're alone,
just the two of us..
...I want you to be my daddy
and I wanna be your little girl.
Okay, you've got a deal.
I love you, daddy.
I love you too...little girl.
[instrumental music]
David, you think you can give me
a hand with these cufflinks?
Are you kidding,
I've been trying to do mine
for the last ten minutes.
Let me do it.
Why are you guys
so nervous anyway?
Hey, slugger, we're getting
married in a few minutes.
Big deal.
Hey, don't worry.
Your time will come.
I'm not getting married.
Why not?
Takes your mind
off important things.
Like baseball.
Oh, heh, phew!
Oh, it's just gotta fit!
Susan, calm down. In a second.
- Okay.
- Am I in?
Yeah. Turn around. Let's see.
Oh, you look wonderful.
- You really think so?
- Yeah, I really think so.
Oh, let me see.
Oh, no, but look
at my hair, Abby!
- What am I gonna do with it?
- Oh, Susan, relax.
Oh, I can't help it.
I'm so scared.
Oh, I didn't think
I'd be like this.
Why should you be different
from any other bride?
Well, how did you feel?
What's it like being married?
Oh, gosh, well, there are
as many different answers
to that question
as there are husbands and wives.
You shouldn't compare
your marriage to anybody's.
But, w-were you sure about
you and dad when..
I mean, were you sure that
you were gonna be happy?
Susan, I was sure
I loved your father very much.
And I was sure I would reach
the place in my life
where I was capable
of making the, the sacrifices
and the compromises
that are necessary
for a successful marriage.
Oh.
Do you love Merle that much?
Oh, Abby, I really do.
Well, then, stop worrying.
I have a feeling
you're gonna do just fine.
Thanks.
Well, you know, I would have
liked to have my mother here
but I'm sure glad
that you're here.
Oh, thanks.
[knocking on door]
Hi. We finally made it.
Is that what you're wearing?
Yeah, it was my mother's dress.
It's beautiful.
I'm afraid I'm gonna be
a bit underdressed.
Why? What are you wearing?
You are looking at it.
[snaps finger]
Follow me.
Bye.
[instrumental music]
Ta-da!
Oh, Abby!
[gasps]
Oh..
- Oh, I couldn't.
- Oh, but you must.
It's not doing any good
just hanging in the closet.
But I mean, it's yours.
I mean, it's your wedding dress.
I know, so maybe, we'll start
a new Bradford family tradition
that all the women
marrying into this family
must do so in this dress.
[both laughing]
Well, I hope Tommy and Nicholas
marry girls who are size eights.
Yeah.
[birds chirping]
(Mrs. Maxwell)
'Tom.'
We're so happy for you.
There you are,
you old son of a g*n.
How did you manage it?
Getting rid of two of them
at the same time.
You know me, Greg. When it comes
to kids, I deal with volume.
Everything looks super.
Well, the kids
did it all. Twice.
Now, remember, fellas.
Be on your best behavior.
We don't wanna
embarrass the team.
Right, Mr. Charles.
And, Bingo, you think you could
take that gum out of your mouth?
This a classy affair.
Right, Mr. Charles.
Ladies.
Oh, Mr. Bradford,
I'm glad to know
you're not the kind of man
to hold a grudge.
Oh, no, no. That's alright.
I'm just glad that
you could come.
And I've got to admit.
This is a lot nicer
than the infield.
Yep. That grass sure is a lot
softer on the old cleats.
- Are you ready?
- Oh, yeah, just a minute, dad.
Um, there's Janet's father,
I think.
Hi.
Tom, I just want to reiterate
what I said over the phone.
I fully intend
on splitting everything -.
Oh, well, that's very
generous of you, but--
No, no, no, I insist.
I only wish you'd let me
and Sylvia in on the planning.
That's part of the privilege
of giving away the bride.
Yeah, well,
we'll discuss it later.
Right now, I wanna make sure
they get married.
[Sylvia sobbing]
Oh. Not yet, mom.
I can't help it.
Everything is just so beautiful.
Anyway, I always cry
at weddings.
Except my own.
[chuckling]
[both sigh]
Well, this is it.
- Good luck.
- You too.
Susan, I think they're ready.
Come on, Sylvia.
Susan, you look
absolutely beautiful.
You do.
Susan, I wanna apologize
for being so insensitive.
'I'm just glad you came back
to share it with us.'
I love you.
Well, I understand.
It's just there's a...little bit
of dad in all of us.
[guitar music]
[music continues]
[instrumental
"Here Comes The Bride"]
[music continues]
It's the only family
I still make house calls for.
Please be seated.
Who gives these brides away?
(Tom and George)
We do.
Today I've been given
the opportunity to perform
the happiest and most gratifying
of a cleric's duties.
To join in holy matrimony
two people.
Four people.
'Who have chosen to make
a lifetime commitment'
to each other.
The Greek poet Aristophanes
once theorized
about the quest of love.
'He said that at creation'
'humans were created
as one being.'
'Half man, half woman.'
'At birth, these two halves
were separated.'
'Torn apart and placed
in separate wombs.'
'And from that time of birth'
'these torn halves search
for each other.'
'That is the quest of love.'
'And when the quest is over
and love has been found'
'there is a marriage.'
'The joining again
of these two halves..'
...into one whole being.
'Here today, we witness
this holy reunion.'
David and Janet.
Susan and Merle.
You may say your vows now.
I, David Bradford
take Janet McArthur
to be my wedded wife.
To have..
And to hold
from this day forward..
For better, for worse.
For rich or for poor.
In sickness..
And in health.
To love, honor and respect
till death do us apart.
'Do you, David Bradford,
take Janet to be your wife?'
I do.
'Do you, Janet'
'take David as your husband?'
I do.
'Do you, Merle Stockwell,
take Susan to be your wife?'
I sure do.
'Do you, Susan, take Merle
to be your husband?'
I do.
'And by the power
vested in me by this state'
it is my honor
to pronounce you all..
...husbands and wives.
Grooms, you may
kiss your brides.
Alright!
[all laughing]
[guitar music]
[music continues]
Well, we did it.
Yeah, and it didn't turn out
too bad, either.
Are you kidding?
It was beautiful.
It sure was.
You know, I can't believe it.
Two of my children,
actually married.
Yeah, but, dad,
you got six more to go.
Do me a favor. Don't rush.
I don't think I can take it
six more times.
Hey, dad, it could have been
sooner than you thought.
I came pretty close
to catching the bouquet.
Oh, you came close! Elizabeth,
I came that close to it!
I touched it, for a second.
So who finally did catch it?
- Bingo Bigelow.
- Oh, no..
Well, he is the catcher.
Hey, you guys.
Where is everybody, huh?
Oh, Nancy, you're too late.
They took off already.
Yeah, but I didn't get
a chance to sing my telegram.
Alright, Nancy.
You're center stage.
This I gotta hear.
Yeah, come on.
♪ Da-da da-da da da ♪
♪ Dave and Janet got married ♪
♪ And so did Susan and Merle ♪
♪ First there were eight of us ♪
♪ Now there are ten of us ♪
♪ Adding a boy and girl ♪
♪ Dave and Janet got married ♪
♪ And so did Susan and Merle ♪
♪ Now we are just
one happy family ♪
♪ And he's just wild about ♪
♪ She's just wild about ♪
♪ We're just wild about you ♪
Come on, dad. Go.
♪ Da-da da-da da da ♪
Alright!
[all humming]
♪ And he's just wild about ♪
♪ She's just wild about ♪
♪ No you're just wild about ♪
♪ I'm just wild about ♪
♪ He's just wild about ♪
♪ You're just wild about ♪
♪ Wild about you ♪♪
[all cheering]
[theme music]
[music continues]
When I grow up,
do I have to get married?
Oh, no, Nicholas!
You don't have to get married.
You also don't have
to decide right now.
Why don't you wait till you
graduate from elementary school
before giving it
serious thought?
Why do you ask?
Well, I was at
Kenny P. Lander's house today.
And all his parents did
was yell at each other.
And I figured I get
yelled at enough as a kid.
Who needs it later?
Well, look. You-you can't
judge marriage by one couple.
Maybe Kenny's parents
were just having a bad day.
Besides, some couples show love
at the top of their lungs.
Well, at least, when you're
married, you get to yell back.
Now, you got the wrong
idea on marriage.
Besides the yelling,
there's, uh, all kinds of fun.
- There is?
- 'Oh, yes.'
You can't imagine.
Look at Abby and me.
How can I?
Your door is always closed.
Oh! Well..
Eh, that, uh..
Nicholas, clean the windshield.
Nicholas, the windshield.
[funk music]
[theme song]
♪ There's a magic in the
early morning we've found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles
on everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ For eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days ♪
♪ Like bright
and shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled
by the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
Hi, is this Mr. Bobby Randall?
Well, I have a message
for you from Marsha.
Hold on.
[blowing harmonica]
♪ Bobby ♪
♪ How I miss you
How I miss you ♪
♪ My dear friend Bobby ♪
♪ I'd give the world to be ♪
♪ Back in the dorm with ♪
♪ B-O-B-B-Y because I love ya ♪
♪ Can't stop missin'
reminiscin' ♪
♪ My dear friend Bobby ♪
♪ When you come back ♪
♪ You'll see that
I can make you ♪
♪ H-A-P-P-Y because I'm.. ♪♪
Nancy Bradford.
And this has been a singing
telegram from Hot Wire.
What is Nancy doing out there?
- She's earning a living.
- It's her new job.
- Singing telegrams.
- Singing telegrams?
I thought they went out
sometime before World w*r II.
Well, they're back.
- Staying for dinner?
- No.
Janet and I have other plans.
Huh! You've had other plans
every night this week.
- Don't you love us anymore?
- Of course, I do.
It's just that
Janet feeds me better.
- Aw..
- Don't wait up.
Did I hear singing?
Dear ol' Bobby didn't think so.
[doorbell rings]
Nicholas, would you get that?
I can't face another critic.
Sure.
Hi, Nicholas.
How's my ol' buddy?
- Ooh!
- Fine.
You wanna play some catch?
Um, sorry, slugger.
I haven't got time right now.
Got a date with Susan.
You haven't had
time to play catch
ever since you caught Susan.
[sighs]
W-w-whoa!
Hello there, young lady.
Well, hello there,
handsome stranger.
I-I thought, uh, i-if you
weren't doing anything
you might like to
give me a kiss.
Oh, I'll think about it.
Oh, then
you've thought long enough.
[giggles]
Mm. Delicious.
Mm, must be
my chocolate mint lip gloss.
No, I think it's more
like your lasagna.
Oh, thanks a lot.
We've only been back
together a few weeks
and already the romance
has gone out of our lives.
Untrue.
You see, the secret
to true romance
is to avoid acting romantic.
Oh! Is that so?
Mm-hmm.
Especially when you're
too nervous to be romantic.
Oh, why are you nervous?
Because, I, um..
To tell you the truth..
[sighs]
I'm about to ask you...Janet..
Hmm.
Will you marry me?
Well, will you?
'Our engagement ring.'
'You kept it?'
I guess I always knew
you'd come back to me.
Then you will marry me?
[instrumental music]
- Good coffee.
- It's cocoa.
Really?
Yeah. I guess my mind's
been kinda drifting.
Oh, where to?
Well, I have something
I have to tell you.
What?
I have to go
on the road in a week
and I'm gonna be gone
for almost a month.
Oh, Merle, a whole month?
- That's forever.
- I know, baby. I know. But..
Paragraph C,
sub-section of our contract..
...us Cyclones are not
allowed to take girlfriends
on the road with us.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too.
Dumb paragraph C,
sub-section .
- Do you really wanna elope?
- I think it's the right move.
But why? I thought eloping
was something that kids do
when they couldn't get
their parents' consent.
It's not consent
that I'm worried about.
It's all the hassles.
Look, my family has been
walking on eggshells with us
ever since we got back together.
They don't wanna do
anything that might
cause problems between us.
I've noticed the same
with my parents.
Well, I don't wanna do
anything that might
cause problems
for either family.
Namely, putting them through
the bother of a big wedding.
Let's just do it.
Okay, I see your point.
But, why do we have to run off?
Why can't we just go down
to the justice depuis
and tell them that we love
each other very much?
Because I had something
more romantic in mind.
Nice little cottage
on Lake Tahoe, just you and me.
Nice quiet weekend.
- That does sound romantic.
- Yeah.
And then Sunday morning,
we'll go into town
find a chapel and presto,
we'll be man and wife.
Man and wife?
Husband and wife?
Man and woman?
Okay. I give up.
Well, what will we be?
Happy.
[glasses clink]
(Nancy)
'Hi, may I please
speak to Debbie Albert?'
(Debbie on phone)
'Oh, this is Debbie.'
Yeah, well I have
a get well message for you
from the g*ng down
at K & B Upholstery.
Yeah. Hold on.
[snaps finger]
♪ Debbie ♪
♪ How we missed you
How we missed you ♪
♪ Our dear rose Debbie ♪
♪ Yeah ♪♪
Hello?
Debbie.
Debbie?
[clears throat]
I guess some people
just don't wanna be cheered up!
[giggling]
Hi.
Hi, Nance, how's the job going?
Someone just hung up on me on
the middle of the first chorus.
What does that tell you?
Your future's not in
singing telegrams.
I didn't want the phone work.
I requested the live jobs.
'At least they can't
hang up on you.'
Well, what's the problem then?
My boss says I lack
the necessary performing skills.
Namely, dancing.
Dancing? Uh, you got..
Oh! With an expert like
Elizabeth around to teach you?
Come on, show her a few things.
Okay, now, watch this.
Watch this, alright.
Just somethin' simple,
you know, to do while you sing.
Good. That's good.
Alright, you have it already.
Almost.
Hey, that's terrific, Nancy.
In no time at all, you'll be
shuffling off to Buffalo.
Yeah. With my sense of rhythm,
I'll be dancing like a buffalo.
[all laughing]
(Susan)
'Merle, you're not supposed to
be here for two more hours.'
- 'I'm not ready yet!'
- I-I don't care.
Just get yourself down here.
- This is important.
- 'Okay.'
'But you have to promise not
to look, my hair's in curlers.'
Oh, I don't care about that,
just hurry up.
'You promise you won't peek?'
O-o-okay, okay. Just hurry!
Now, what's so important?
Uh, lead me
into the living room.
[sighs]
[sighs]
Okay. Couch is behind you.
Sit.
Look, uh, this could be
a lot more romantic
if I could look at you.
I wouldn't bet on it.
Okay.
Susan, I can't stand
the thought of being away
from you for a whole month.
Oh, Merle, I know.
I can't stand it either.
So, I'm gonna take you
with me, beautiful.
- What did you say?
- Um..
I said you're beautiful.
No, Merle, not that part.
The part about
taking me with you.
Did you forget
about sub-section ?
Nope, I-I remembered
sub-section .
I can't take my girlfriend
but I can take my wife.
What?
We can get married before
I leave, like, this weekend.
This weekend? You mean
in a couple of days?
But, Merle, how can we get
a wedding together by then?
I mean, there's
arrangements to make.
And-and we have to buy clothes
and have to get blood tests--
Are you sure
this weekend's soon enough?
(Tom)
'Oh, boy, it's meals
like this that are gonna'
'force me to wear
stretch-pants.'
(Mary)
'Mm, you can say that again.'
I think I'm gonna walk it off.
Anyone wanna go with me?
Sure, I could stand to walk off
a few hundred calories. Nance?
Oh, these days
I'm singing mine off.
Um, Joan and Mary,
could you wait a minute?
I.. Merle and I have
an announcement to make.
'Yeah?'
Oh, huh..
Um, Susan and I
are pushing up our wedding date.
- Alright!
- Wait a minute, Nicholas.
What do you mean, how far up?
To this Sunday.
This Sunday. This Sunday?
Four days from now,
Sunday? But why?
(Susan)
'Well, Merle has to go
on a road trip on Monday.'
- So?
- Well, dad.
He's gonna be gone a whole month
and-and we can't stand
the thought of being
separated that long.
Oh, Susan, uh..
I-I mean, you're not gonna
have time to plan anything.
Well, I was hoping
all of you would help.
Sure, we'll help.
I hope this
doesn't put anyone out!
Why you're looking so put out?
Susan and Merle just announced
that they're getting
married this Sunday.
Looks like we're gonna have
to cancel our wedding plans.
Again.
[instrumental music]
I don't believe it,
of all days to pick!
This Sunday.
Well, there's not much
we can do about it.
I say we just
go ahead with our plans.
Susan will understand.
(Janet)
It's not Susan
I'm concerned about.
It maybe Susan's wedding,
but it is a family occasion.
Everyone should be there.
We can elope next weekend.
Two days before
you start a major court case
and I start
a big construction job?
No, there won't be
this much time.
We'll make time.
I mean, the whole idea was
not to create a family hassle.
Wasn't it?
You're wonderful, you know that?
No, I'm just a woman
who loves you
and who understands
you love your family.
I just hope my family realizes
how lucky they are
to be getting you.
Well, if they don't,
we'll tell them.
[chuckling]
(Susan)
'Okay, everybody,
let's talk about Sunday.'
Elizabeth, um,
I'd like you to make
the phone calls
to invite the guests.
- Okay.
- Logical choice.
Oh, and I'd also like you
to make the wedding cake.
- Carrot, of course.
- Sure.
And, um, I've decided
to have it in the backyard.
- The cake?
- No, the ceremony.
- In the backyard, Susan?
- Yeah.
Are you serious?
I think it will be pretty with
all the trees and the flowers.
And the leaves that
need to be raked.
And the lawn that
need to be mowed.
I mean, where do we seat people?
Where do we do for music?
'Susan, this is only
a couple of days away.'
Come on, Mary.
And all you guys, I thought
you promised to help me make
my wedding beautiful, remember?
- Right.
- Okay, then.
We agreed on an outdoor wedding?
Yes, and it will be fantastic.
Good, then, um, I'm gonna
go to the garage and see
if I can salvage
that old trellis.
Yeah. Great.
Come on now, we're not
being fair to Susan.
I mean, maybe we all don't
agree with what she's doing
but it is her big day
and we don't wanna ruin it.
I'm sorry, Abby, but I--
It's just hard not to
worry about her, you know.
I know. But let's try.
What do you think, dad?
Will it hold a people?
Oh, a ?
Well, yeah, there's
of the Cyclones.
Not to mention, the day school
g*ng plus family friends.
Susan, I think that maybe
you better prepare yourself
for certain amount of fallout.
I mean, some of these people are
gonna have plans this weekend.
Plans that they can't
change so quickly.
Well, then I'll just find out
who my real friends are.
Wouldn't it be better if..
If I waited? Is that
what you were going to say?
Well, yes, I think it
might be more considerate
to give people a little time.
So that they can do
this right for you.
Dad, I know what's right for me
and that's to marry
Merle this Sunday.
You're sure about that?
Couldn't be anymore sure if
we'd been engaged for ten years.
Yeah, but I mean,
you were sure about other
young men you dated
too, you know.
Dad, I know that I've said
I've been in love in the past.
But those were
just infatuations, crushes.
This is the real thing,
dad. I know it.
Well, in that case,
your love will hold
until Merle comes back.
There's plenty of time.
Mary, now, you. Why is
everybody fighting me on this?
Oh, no. We're are not fighting
you. We're on your side.
Then stop spoiling
things for me, dad.
I'm going on that
road trip with Merle.
Wouldn't you rather
I go as his wife?
I just wanted to
tell you, Mr. Donahue..
...I've been practicing
my singing and dancing.
Yeah. And I really think
I'm ready for some live work.
B-but, Mr. Donahue,
if you don't give me a chance
how will you know
what I can do?
Oh, I see.
There are no live jobs?
None at all?
Okay, I'll call again next week.
Yeah.
Thanks. Bye.
Can't get the big break, huh?
Yeah, I didn't realize
singing telegrams
were such a competitive field.
Aw. It's okay.
Can't your dad take a day off
to see you get married?
Eh, during harvest season,
Nicholas
there's no such
thing as a day off.
You don't get
the crops in on time
the whole summer's work is lost.
Well, there'll be
plenty of people there.
And Tommy
will be taking pictures.
So you can show them
what they missed.
Yeah, slugger. Guess that's
what I'll have to do.
You've ever been to
a wedding, Nicholas?
Uh-huh. Dad and Abby's.
I was the ring bearer.
I'd say you're an old hand
at this sort of thing.
Uh, I guess so.
Then, maybe you can help me
out with this little problem.
What problem?
Well, see, I had always
promised my cousin Fred
that he'd be my best man.
Since Fred's not gonna
be able to make it
I'm gonna need a-a pinch hitter.
Now, I figured if it
weren't for you, me and Susan
wouldn't be getting
hitched in the first place.
So, slugger, how would you
like to be my best man?
Best man?
Sure, nothing to it.
I don't know.
I've never been
a best man before.
And I'm only ten.
Heck, Nicholas, I got
a feelin' you'll be the best
best man this
side of the Ozarks.
Okay, but I'd rather
be a bad boy.
- Hi, Joannie.
- Oh, hi.
Well, pretty soon,
this all will be yours.
Yeah. Heh.
It's gonna be lonely.
- Miss your snorin'.
- Yeah.
We spent the last
years together
in these spacious quarters.
Yeah.
Shared our secrets
and our heartaches
and our private thoughts.
- Our clothes.
- Yeah. That too.
And I can't think
of anyone else I'd rather
share my moment with.
Joannie..
...I want you to
be maid of honor.
Oh, Susan.
Your maid of honor!
You happy?
Oh, of course, I am.
It's-it's a great honor.
Well, frankly,
Joannie, I thought
you'd be a little
more enthusiastic.
Oh, hey, I will be, honest.
You wait and see,
really, on Sunday
I'll be vibrating
with excitement.
You too, huh?
What do you mean?
Well, I expected static from
dad, Joannie, but not from you.
- Thanks a lot.
- Oh, Susan.
Susan, it's just because
I care for you.
So much, and you're so young.
- Oh, forget about it, Joannie.
- Susan!
Oh, no!
Hi, is this Clarence Bigelow?
[chuckles]
Everyone calls you Bingo, huh?
Well, anyway, Bingo,
my name is Elizabeth Bradford
and I'm calling to invite you to
Merle and Susan's
wedding this Sunday.
[chuckling]
Yeah. How about that?
The old pearl did
finally get snagged.
By my sister.
Yes.
Well, uh, the ceremony
starts at o'clock sharp.
Well, great, then
we'll see you Sunday, Bingo.
Me? No, no.
I'm not married.
Uh, thanks, Bingo, but I think
I'll wait a few more years.
Yeah, bye-bye.
Bingo.
[yawning]
How come I'm doing all the work?
Seniority, squirt.
That's not fair.
When will I get seniority?
Well, when Susan and Merle
have their first kid.
- Really?
- Sure, you'll be his uncle.
You can really
push the kid around.
Alright!
I said a nail, not a bolt.
Oh.
I'm sorry, I guess
I wasn't concentrating.
Is all this getting to you too?
[sighs]
Well, I'm trying not to let it
but I can't help but wish
we were the ones
getting married on Sunday.
It's not too late to change
our minds and go to Lake Tahoe.
No, we'll have our chance.
We shouldn't spoil things
for Merle and Susan.
I-I'm sorry, eh, what-what did
you say your name was again?
E. David Charles.
Oh, yes! Yes, now I remember.
You are the, uh, director
of publicity for the Cyclones.
And a man
with a very interesting
proposition for you, Tom.
Uh, may I call you Tom?
Go ahead.
You have already. Ha ha ha.
[chuckles]
Right.
Now, Tom, here's what
I have in mind.
What would you think
of two young lovebirds
brought together at home plate
before a grand stand
of captivated fans
who send them lovingly off
down the base paths of life?
Brings tears to
your eyes, doesn't it?
No. It doesn't.
[scoffs]
Think about
the possibilities, Tom!
'It's great publicity
for the team.'
And the owner will pick up
all the expenses.
Look, how much money you'd save.
I don't care about the money,
this is my daughter's wedding.
All I care about
is her happiness.
What girl wouldn't be thrilled
marrying a famous pitcher
in front of a throng
of adoring fans?
And I suppose we'll have
the umpire perform the ceremony.
Hey..
You may have something there!
Of course, we couldn't
use a real umpire.
But if we dressed
the minister up
in a chest protector,
then perhaps--
- This is ridiculous.
- No, this is spectacular.
Look, you're not going
to make a spectacle
out of my daughter's wedding.
You may leave, sir.
- I struck out?
- Out!
[door opens]
Susan, did you know
what the publicity man
from the Cyclones
had in mind for your wedding?
- Yes, dad.
- Well..
Well, this thing is turning into
a three ring circus.
Calm down, dad, Merle told
E. David to forget it.
You missed the point.
If you're going to make
hasty decisions like this
then you're just
opening the door to chaos.
It's not the way
I wanted it, dad.
I know that, so here's
what I want you to do.
'I want you to just consider
postponing the wedding'
to give you sometime to think
and give us time to prepare.
Right now,
things are so frantic!
Oh, I see, dad.
All this has become a little
too much for you to handle?
And for Mary, and for Joannie?
No, no, no. Try to understand.
I do understand, really.
- We'll call it off.
- Alright, for how long?
- Forever.
- What?
We'll call off
the wedding plans, dad
but we won't call
off the marriage.
Merle and I will just elope.
We don't need a family
who doesn't need us.
[dramatic music]
Good morning.
Anybody want any breakfast?
Uh, not really.
What's the old expression?
Let them eat cake?
It sure was selfish
of Susan to run off to Reno
and leave us with
half a wedding.
Now, wait a minute,
don't blame Susan.
Dad did a real number on her.
(Mary)
'Don't be so quick
to blame dad either, Tommy.'
I think we all did
our little number on Susan.
I mean, you have to admit
that we weren't exactly
exuberant about her plans.
Oh, boy, I sure wasn't.
She asked me to be
her maid of honor.
I tried to be enthusiastic
about it, you know, but..
...she could see I didn't
approve of her decision.
Which, when you think about it,
is really none of our business.
Oh, it is, when you
care about someone.
Yeah, well sometimes
this family cares too much.
Nancy, that's not true.
It's just that
when two people are in love
they usually
follow their hearts.
No matter who cares.
[sighs]
Tom?
- Tom.
- Hmm?
Oh, Abby, I'm sorry.
I didn't hear you come in.
I noticed.
I guess morale's
pretty low around here
for everybody today, huh?
Yeah. And as usual,
I'm the villain.
Oh. That's not true.
You weren't the only one who
thought Susan was being hasty.
Abby, are we wrong
to try to protect
our children from
hurting themselves?
No, we're not wrong.
Maybe sometimes we're just,
um, a little over protective.
What am I supposed to do?
Tell her that I approve
of her marrying a boy
that she's only
known for a month?
I-I had to say what I feel.
That's right, you have
to say what you feel.
And you could not have foreseen
how things were gonna turn out.
I can't stop thinking.
The first of my children
to get married
and I'm not even gonna
be there to see it.
I thought you guys were gonna
set up the trellis.
Well, haven't you heard? Susan
and Merle took off to Reno.
- They-they eloped.
- They eloped?
- What? Why?
- I don't know.
But if you find out, will
you please tell me so I ca--
I guess Susan didn't figure
we were too hip
on the idea of them
getting married, so they split.
I don't believe it.
(Tommy)
'Neither does dad.'
And if I were you,
I'd tiptoe past the study.
This is the last time
I try to arrange my life
around my family.
Oh, come on, David.
Think of how much
planning and arranging
our families went through
for the wedding we canceled.
Yeah. What are we
supposed to do now?
Oh, I don't know.
- Get married?
- Now, wait a minute.
You saw what one elopement
did to this family.
I don't think
they can handle another.
That's not exactly
what I had in mind.
What is going on in that
devious little mind of yours?
Well, since we were planning on
getting married this weekend
anyway, and, uh, since
everybody was so disappointed
there isn't gonna be a wedding
and...we worked so hard
to make the backyard beautiful..
You're suggesting we take
Merle and Susan's place?
Why not?
Why not?
Well, I guess someone should
think about fixing dinner.
I'm not hungry.
You haven't eaten all day, Tom.
Yeah.
You know, I bet Susan
is married by now.
[door opens]
- Hi, guys.
- Oh!
I didn't know you two were here.
We were on the porch
having a little discussion.
Yeah, Janet and I decided, uh
if it doesn't upset
things too much
we'd like to take
Merle and Susan's place.
What was that?
You mean, you guys
were thinking of..
Ironically enough,
we had planned
a nice, quite ceremony
out of state
but we shelved our plans
to be here for Susan's wedding.
You wanna be married?
Tomorrow? Here?
(David)
Yeah, if it's okay.
I realize we're last minute
replacements
but I think we make
a decent bride and groom.
Oh, you always have!
Oh, David, Janet.
Oh, that's so exciting!
I don't believe you.
This is great!
- 'Isn't that great?'
- 'Thank you.'
I don't believe it.
I just finished
calling all the guests
and nobody is coming.
Nicholas has Irving J. Moore
devouring all
the homemade canapes.
We still have time to
put it together, you guys.
- Now, that's the spirit.
- What about Susan?
Joannie, it is too late
to worry about Susan.
What we have to worry about
right now is David and Janet.
Okay, I guess
it's back to the phones.
If Tommy touched that cake,
I'm gonna layer him!
- Don't worry.
- I'm worried.
No, he won't.
[instrumental music]
Susan?
Honey, I thought
you were hungry.
I am.
Hey, you could've fooled me.
You haven't touched a bite.
Hey, now.
See that cook over there?
Well, he may not look like it
but he's very sensitive
about his cooking.
And you don't wanna hurt the big
fella's feelings, do you?
Okay. Cute's not gonna work.
Can I ask you something?
Is this the way people
are supposed to act
just before they get married?
'Cause, speaking personally,
I'm kinda excited about it.
I'm sorry. I guess
my mind wandered a little.
W-where did it
wander off to, honey?
Oh, back about years
when I was a little girl.
Yeah?
I don't know, it's just,
well, when I was little
on rainy days, I used to
sneak up to the attic
and I'd take my mom's
old wedding dress
out of the old trunk
and hold it up in front of me
and, uh, I'd act out
the whole ceremony.
- Y-you did?
- Yeah.
The old-the old trunk
would be the altar
and we had this bird cage
and that would be the preacher.
And mom and dad
were always smiling at me.
So was the rest of the family.
Everybody was there.
And then, I'd look over
at my husband
and...we'd be holding hands.
Then we'd kiss.
Heh, all the boxes
and the cartons would cheer
and-and I could hear the music,
from behind the walls..
[humming]
Then it'd get real quiet
a-and I could hear the raindrops
on the roof again..
Then I'd fold up the dress
and put it back in the old trunk
for another rainy day.
- Come on. Let's go.
- Huh?
I'm not gonna let you
miss out on your dreams.
(Elizabeth)
'Yeah, that's right, Dr. Max.
The wedding is back on.'
Uh-huh. Yeah, same time,
same place.
Different bride and groom.
Okay, we'll see you Sunday.
Bye-bye.
Oh, you guys, that's everybody
and believe it or not,
they're all coming.
- Great.
- Yeah, I believe it.
A Bradford wedding
is a major event.
Sure is.
[telephone ringing]
Hello.
Yes? Uh, this is Nancy Bradford.
Oh, hi, Mr. Donahue.
What?
You really mean it?
A live singing telegram!
'When?'
'Tomorrow?'
'I can't.'
My brother's getting married
and I..
I can do both?
What?
The telegram's for my brother
and his wife?
Wait a minute. Who sent this?
Oh, I see.
'And she said only
I could perform it?'
'Oh, yeah, I can
handle it. Sure.'
Thanks. Yeah. Bye.
Joannie, thanks.
[laughing]
I got a few breaks in my time.
It's nice to give one
for a change.
Thank you.
[knocking on door]
Wha..
I don't understand.
Are you married already?
Could we talk to you, dad?
Yes, of course. Come in.
Dad, it was-it was childish
and selfish of me
to run away like that,
and I am sorry.
I don't know
who it hurt more, you or me.
What's done is done.
Don't worry about it.
No, it's not, dad.
We didn't go through
with it, Mr. B.
Oh.. You mean
you're not married?
(Merle)
No, sir.
Susan loves y'all so much.
There's...no way we could have
got married without you there.
It just took me a little while
to realize it, dad.
Oh. Well, I'm glad you did.
You had a decision to make
and you made it.
It was yours to make.
Nobody can tell you whether
you're right or wrong.
I shouldn't have tried to.
Mr. B.
I want you to know right now
y-you don't have to worry
'cause I'm gonna take such
good care of your little girl..
I-I'll do anything it takes
to make her happy.
Just wait and see, I'll..
You have already
proven that, Merle.
How long have they
been in there?
Well, I saw them pull into
the driveway ten minutes ago.
Just long enough for dad
to hit the ceiling.
So, we-we have your blessin'?
Oh, yes, yes, you certainly
have my blessing
but I think you better
check with David and Janet.
They have to approve
our marriage?
(Tom)
'If you still plan on being
married here tomorrow, they do.'
Wait a second.
Uh, Susan, aren't you two, uh..
No, we're getting married
tomorrow, as planned.
That's funny. So are we.
- W-what's going on?
- We sort of took your place.
I-if nobody objects, I propose
that we have a double wedding.
I second the motion.
Sounds good to me.
Some of my best games
are double headers.
[all laughing]
Well, it's up to you.
Well, this family has always
been known for its togetherness.
Why stop now?
[all cheering]
[indistinct chatter]
[pounding on door]
(Tommy)
'Joannie, if you don't come out
of that bathroom in two minutes'
I'm gonna break the door down!
Joannie, I mean it.
I can't find my dress!
My dress! Uh, didn't somebody
pick it up from the cleaners?
- Here's your dress.
- Oh, thanks, Nance.
You're welcome.
Joannie, I'm gonna give you
till the count of three.
- One.
- My uniform!
- Where's my uniform?
- Two.
Nancy, remember
you wanted me to hem it?
Oh, thanks.
Three!
[door slams]
[knocking on door]
Anybody but Merle can come in.
[door opens]
- Hi.
- Hi.
There's no law
against the father
seeing the bride, is there?
No.
Susan..
I...I was up in the attic
and I...brought you this.
[instrumental music]
Your mother wanted you
to wear it.
She had this wonderful dream
about watching all her daughters
walk down the aisle.
She wanted the first one of them
to wear the dress that she wore
when we got married.
She was a beautiful bride too.
Susan, I'm sorry about
everything that happened.
Oh, I'm sorry too, dad.
It's just that I...
I love you so much.
And, gosh, you grew up
so fast that I-I can't
stop thinking of you
as my little girl.
Dad, I don't want you
to stop completely.
It's just..
...when other people are around
let's pretend that
we are a modern, mature
liberated father and daughter.
But when we're alone,
just the two of us..
...I want you to be my daddy
and I wanna be your little girl.
Okay, you've got a deal.
I love you, daddy.
I love you too...little girl.
[instrumental music]
David, you think you can give me
a hand with these cufflinks?
Are you kidding,
I've been trying to do mine
for the last ten minutes.
Let me do it.
Why are you guys
so nervous anyway?
Hey, slugger, we're getting
married in a few minutes.
Big deal.
Hey, don't worry.
Your time will come.
I'm not getting married.
Why not?
Takes your mind
off important things.
Like baseball.
Oh, heh, phew!
Oh, it's just gotta fit!
Susan, calm down. In a second.
- Okay.
- Am I in?
Yeah. Turn around. Let's see.
Oh, you look wonderful.
- You really think so?
- Yeah, I really think so.
Oh, let me see.
Oh, no, but look
at my hair, Abby!
- What am I gonna do with it?
- Oh, Susan, relax.
Oh, I can't help it.
I'm so scared.
Oh, I didn't think
I'd be like this.
Why should you be different
from any other bride?
Well, how did you feel?
What's it like being married?
Oh, gosh, well, there are
as many different answers
to that question
as there are husbands and wives.
You shouldn't compare
your marriage to anybody's.
But, w-were you sure about
you and dad when..
I mean, were you sure that
you were gonna be happy?
Susan, I was sure
I loved your father very much.
And I was sure I would reach
the place in my life
where I was capable
of making the, the sacrifices
and the compromises
that are necessary
for a successful marriage.
Oh.
Do you love Merle that much?
Oh, Abby, I really do.
Well, then, stop worrying.
I have a feeling
you're gonna do just fine.
Thanks.
Well, you know, I would have
liked to have my mother here
but I'm sure glad
that you're here.
Oh, thanks.
[knocking on door]
Hi. We finally made it.
Is that what you're wearing?
Yeah, it was my mother's dress.
It's beautiful.
I'm afraid I'm gonna be
a bit underdressed.
Why? What are you wearing?
You are looking at it.
[snaps finger]
Follow me.
Bye.
[instrumental music]
Ta-da!
Oh, Abby!
[gasps]
Oh..
- Oh, I couldn't.
- Oh, but you must.
It's not doing any good
just hanging in the closet.
But I mean, it's yours.
I mean, it's your wedding dress.
I know, so maybe, we'll start
a new Bradford family tradition
that all the women
marrying into this family
must do so in this dress.
[both laughing]
Well, I hope Tommy and Nicholas
marry girls who are size eights.
Yeah.
[birds chirping]
(Mrs. Maxwell)
'Tom.'
We're so happy for you.
There you are,
you old son of a g*n.
How did you manage it?
Getting rid of two of them
at the same time.
You know me, Greg. When it comes
to kids, I deal with volume.
Everything looks super.
Well, the kids
did it all. Twice.
Now, remember, fellas.
Be on your best behavior.
We don't wanna
embarrass the team.
Right, Mr. Charles.
And, Bingo, you think you could
take that gum out of your mouth?
This a classy affair.
Right, Mr. Charles.
Ladies.
Oh, Mr. Bradford,
I'm glad to know
you're not the kind of man
to hold a grudge.
Oh, no, no. That's alright.
I'm just glad that
you could come.
And I've got to admit.
This is a lot nicer
than the infield.
Yep. That grass sure is a lot
softer on the old cleats.
- Are you ready?
- Oh, yeah, just a minute, dad.
Um, there's Janet's father,
I think.
Hi.
Tom, I just want to reiterate
what I said over the phone.
I fully intend
on splitting everything -.
Oh, well, that's very
generous of you, but--
No, no, no, I insist.
I only wish you'd let me
and Sylvia in on the planning.
That's part of the privilege
of giving away the bride.
Yeah, well,
we'll discuss it later.
Right now, I wanna make sure
they get married.
[Sylvia sobbing]
Oh. Not yet, mom.
I can't help it.
Everything is just so beautiful.
Anyway, I always cry
at weddings.
Except my own.
[chuckling]
[both sigh]
Well, this is it.
- Good luck.
- You too.
Susan, I think they're ready.
Come on, Sylvia.
Susan, you look
absolutely beautiful.
You do.
Susan, I wanna apologize
for being so insensitive.
'I'm just glad you came back
to share it with us.'
I love you.
Well, I understand.
It's just there's a...little bit
of dad in all of us.
[guitar music]
[music continues]
[instrumental
"Here Comes The Bride"]
[music continues]
It's the only family
I still make house calls for.
Please be seated.
Who gives these brides away?
(Tom and George)
We do.
Today I've been given
the opportunity to perform
the happiest and most gratifying
of a cleric's duties.
To join in holy matrimony
two people.
Four people.
'Who have chosen to make
a lifetime commitment'
to each other.
The Greek poet Aristophanes
once theorized
about the quest of love.
'He said that at creation'
'humans were created
as one being.'
'Half man, half woman.'
'At birth, these two halves
were separated.'
'Torn apart and placed
in separate wombs.'
'And from that time of birth'
'these torn halves search
for each other.'
'That is the quest of love.'
'And when the quest is over
and love has been found'
'there is a marriage.'
'The joining again
of these two halves..'
...into one whole being.
'Here today, we witness
this holy reunion.'
David and Janet.
Susan and Merle.
You may say your vows now.
I, David Bradford
take Janet McArthur
to be my wedded wife.
To have..
And to hold
from this day forward..
For better, for worse.
For rich or for poor.
In sickness..
And in health.
To love, honor and respect
till death do us apart.
'Do you, David Bradford,
take Janet to be your wife?'
I do.
'Do you, Janet'
'take David as your husband?'
I do.
'Do you, Merle Stockwell,
take Susan to be your wife?'
I sure do.
'Do you, Susan, take Merle
to be your husband?'
I do.
'And by the power
vested in me by this state'
it is my honor
to pronounce you all..
...husbands and wives.
Grooms, you may
kiss your brides.
Alright!
[all laughing]
[guitar music]
[music continues]
Well, we did it.
Yeah, and it didn't turn out
too bad, either.
Are you kidding?
It was beautiful.
It sure was.
You know, I can't believe it.
Two of my children,
actually married.
Yeah, but, dad,
you got six more to go.
Do me a favor. Don't rush.
I don't think I can take it
six more times.
Hey, dad, it could have been
sooner than you thought.
I came pretty close
to catching the bouquet.
Oh, you came close! Elizabeth,
I came that close to it!
I touched it, for a second.
So who finally did catch it?
- Bingo Bigelow.
- Oh, no..
Well, he is the catcher.
Hey, you guys.
Where is everybody, huh?
Oh, Nancy, you're too late.
They took off already.
Yeah, but I didn't get
a chance to sing my telegram.
Alright, Nancy.
You're center stage.
This I gotta hear.
Yeah, come on.
♪ Da-da da-da da da ♪
♪ Dave and Janet got married ♪
♪ And so did Susan and Merle ♪
♪ First there were eight of us ♪
♪ Now there are ten of us ♪
♪ Adding a boy and girl ♪
♪ Dave and Janet got married ♪
♪ And so did Susan and Merle ♪
♪ Now we are just
one happy family ♪
♪ And he's just wild about ♪
♪ She's just wild about ♪
♪ We're just wild about you ♪
Come on, dad. Go.
♪ Da-da da-da da da ♪
Alright!
[all humming]
♪ And he's just wild about ♪
♪ She's just wild about ♪
♪ No you're just wild about ♪
♪ I'm just wild about ♪
♪ He's just wild about ♪
♪ You're just wild about ♪
♪ Wild about you ♪♪
[all cheering]
[theme music]
[music continues]