03x20 - The Party's Over

[bunniefuu]

Oh! Benson,
don't you look handsome.

Thank you, Kraus.

And you look...
Thank you, Kraus.

The limousine is here
und the Governor
will be right down.

Mmm-hmm.
How much are they charging
for this fundraising dinner?

Well, they're not charging
the staff anything,

but the guests are having to
shell out $ a plate.

$?

Well, I suppose
it's for a good cause.

But I don't see why
the Governor has to run for
reelection every four years.

In Bavaria
once you were in office

you stayed there
until the other party
got out of jail.

What am I
supposed to do?

Peter, I don't care
what you do,

but you cannot go to
the Governor's banquet
wearing a sequined bowtie.

What are you talking about?

It matches the cummerbund.

I didn't know Liberace
rented out his tuxedos.

You know,
the salesman said
this is the latest thing.

You guys are going
to be out of style.

(SHOES TAPPING)

Are you wearing
tap shoes?

Yeah. They're the only shoes
that the tuxedo shop had
in my size.

(TAPPING CONTINUES)

Please sit down.
You sound like
you're sending Morse code.

Hi, fellas, listen.

I've got a great new opening
joke for my speech.

Do you want
to hear it?

It's not an ethnic joke,
is it, sir?

Oh! No.
No, no.

See, there was this Italian,
this Irishman, this Swede...

Sir, you're going to alienate
the entire Third District.

Oh, you've heard that joke?

Well, you know what,
let me actually start
with one of my stories.

And you'll alienate
the entire state.

Sir, I think
we'd better go.

Yeah, we're going
to be late.

Well, if I'm not going
to start with a joke

and I'm not going
to start with a story,

what will I start with?

BENSON: You have your choice
of Souper Salad.

I don't know, Benson,
I thought that dinner
last night was pretty good.

(EXCLAIMS DISMISSIVELY)

But what was that spongy
yellow vegetable on the toast?

Chicken.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Come in.

I'm sorry I'm late, sir.

I just got the message
about the meeting.
What's up?

The party chairman's
gonna stop by.

Ned Harper
is coming to us? Why?

Oh, I don't know.
I suppose he wants to
discuss campaign strategy.

(TELEPHONE BUZZES)

Yes?

Good.
Send him right in.

Harper's here.

Ah, Gene.
Hard at work, as usual.

Good to see you.

Do you know my staff?

How do you do, gentlemen?
I'm glad you're all here.

Please sit down.

Gene, let me get right
to the point.

What are your plans
when you finish up here?

Oh, I don't know.
I haven't given it
much thought.

Ah, but we have.

Now, the party feels
that with a couple of years
in the foreign service,

followed by a term
in the senate,

you'll be ready to
be president.

Of what?

Why, the United States.

Of America?

Ah, Gene,
that's the kind of humility

that makes you an attractive
presidential candidate.

Plus, you're independent,
decisive.

Gee, I don't know.

How could I qualify
for the foreign service?

Can you ride a camel?

Well, between us,

there's an
ambassadorship opening
coming up in a few days.

An ambassadorship?
What an opportunity.

Where would
I be ambassador to?

Oh, I'm not at liberty
to divulge that information
at the moment.

Well, can't you give us
a hint?

Well,
let's just say the embassy

is in a city
where the lights never go out.

Mmm-hmm. At least we know
it's not New York.

Oh, yes, Gene, it's time
you set your sights higher.

Ambassadorship, the senate,
the presidency.

Presidency?

Sleep on it, Gene,
but not too long.

The boys at
the State Department
are waiting to hear from me.

GOVERNOR: Oh, I'll let you
know tomorrow.

Until tomorrow then,
gentlemen.

I know you'll
make the right decision,

Ambassador Gatling.
(GOVERNOR CHUCKLES)

You realize, sir,
that if you accept
his offer,

you won't be running
for governor.

Oh, I know.

But you're
still considering it?

I'd be a fool not to.

Well, I've got to get
back to work.

Lots of papers to sign.

An ambassadorship.

I don't think
the Governor
should take it.

Oh, Benson,
butt out of this.

The Governor knows exactly
what he's doing.

Well, if he knows exactly
what he's doing,

where'd he go
to sign those papers?

Where he always goes,
to his...

Sign the papers.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Denise,
are you busy tonight?

No, why?

Well, I need your help
with something.

Sure.
Anything I can do.

Doris Bergman
is having a baby.

Wouldn't you rather
get a doctor?

No, no. I need
somebody to fill in
on the bowling team.

Oh, okay,
but I'm not very good.

What's your average?

About once a year.

Do you know
what this is?

A bowling ball.

You'll do.

Oh.

I still say we're going
to Switzerland.

Well, I think he's gonna be
ambassador to Belgium.

Und I say Jamaica.

Benson, where do you think
we're going?

Off the deep end.

The Governor hasn't accepted
that ambassadorship.

Well, he will, and then
we are going to Switzerland.

We? Are you going with him?

Of course.

I'm the only member
of the staff

who has any background
in foreign affairs.

Dating a gypsy
doesn't count.

Well, I can live
in any environment.

Yeah, as long as the ground is
soft enough to burrow in.

KRAUS: I hear you!

I don't care
what you say, Benson.

I'm taking French lessons

from a lady I met
in remedial driving class.

Now you can have accidents
in two languages.

Tres amusing, Benson.

Au reservoir.

Benson, Benson,
give me some help.

What do you think
about this ambassador thing?

Governor,
I'm the wrong person to ask.

All I know
about foreign policy is
don't hitchhike in Korea.

But an ambassadorship is
such a wonderful opportunity.

Seeing foreign policy
in action.

Seeing signs that say,
"Yankee, go home."

I'd be corresponding
with the President.

Begging to come back.

I'd be having dinners
with foreign leaders.

Eating household pets.

There are a lot
of pluses, Benson.

Yes, I've just named
a few.

The only thing I'm afraid of
is that I'll end up

like Charlie
the Irish setter.

I don't blame you.
Mange is a terrible disease.

No, see,
we'd be playing softball.

You and Charlie?

No, no, no,
us kids.

And when the ball
would get hit to the outfield,

Charlie would catch it
in his mouth,

and he'd run off
into the woods with the ball.

And we'd
have to call the game off

'cause we could never
get the ball back.

Governor, I'm struggling
to find a connection

between that
and the ambassadorship.

Oh, I'll get to that
in just a minute.

See, we decided
that the only way

to get the ball back
from Charlie

was to throw him a bone,

and that's what I think
the party is doing to me.

Trying to
get their ball back?

And the ambassadorship
is the bone.

They don't want me
to be governor.

No kidding.

So I'm gonna tell 'em
no, thanks,

they're barking up
the wrong tree,

that I'm gonna run
for governor.

I think that's
a wise decision, sir.

Besides, I don't want
to end up like Charlie.

Whatever happened
to him?

He had puppies.

Denise, is this
my : appointment?

Sorry, Benson,
it's my bowling ball.

That was my next guess.

It just slipped out of
my hands and rolled in here.

Since there's no a*t*matic
return in this alley,

you'll have to
get it yourself.

I know this seems silly,

but there is a perfectly
logical explanation.

See, Doris Bergman's
having twins,

and I won't have a chance
unless I practice.

I see.
Bowling for babies.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Oh, Benson,
could I see you for a moment?

Oh, Chairman,
come on in.

Well, Denise, if I find
your other earring,

I'll let you know.

What? Oh.

(LAUGHS)

Come on in, Chairman Harper.
Have a seat.

Oh, I just left
the Governor.

You're not gonna
believe this.

He turned down a
United States ambassadorship.

Oh, really?

I've been
giving away appointments

for nearly years.

It's the first time
I've ever been rejected.

Don't take it personally.

Oh, look, Benson, you and
the Governor are friends,

don't let him
make this mistake.

Who am I to say
it's a mistake?

Besides, I don't make
his decisions for him.

All right, I'll lay my cards
on the table.

Please do.

The party
doesn't think Gatling

stands a chance
of reelection.

Shouldn't the voters
have a chance to decide that?

Oh, it's too late.

He's a nice man and all,
but he's a lightweight.

Party already has a candidate,
Senator Bud Resnick.

Bud Resnick,
the ex-football player?

Hey, he was a big hero
in this state, you know?

Some people think the only
reason he went into politics

was because
he had bad knees.

Yeah, well, you don't need
good knees to get votes.

The party wants Bud Resnick.

He thinks the way we do.
He supports the same issues.

And we need
that kind of loyalty.

Loyalty? Don't you mean
blind obedience?

I suspect
the party found out

that they couldn't
control Governor Gatling,

so they want to replace him
with someone they can.

All right, bottom line.

The party doesn't
want Gatling on the ticket.

Now, you're bright enough
to know

that if you do a favor
for the party,

they'll do a favor
for you.

But, you see, I'm not looking
for any favors.

Well, let me be
a little more specific.

You convince Gatling
to take that ambassadorship,

and there's a spot
on the ticket for you.

How does Lieutenant Governor
Benson DuBois sound?

Like a bribe.

Oh, come on, Benson.

Don't be a fool.

If the situation was reversed,

Gene would drop you like that.

You don't
know Governor Gatling,

and you certainly
don't know me.

But I do know every man
has his price.

All right. What's your price?
What do you want?

I want you out of here.

(SCOFFS)

Well, I guess you're not
so bright after all.

You don't have to be a PhD
to see that this stinks.

Who the hell do you think
you're talking to?

Now, cut the games.

Gatling takes
that ambassadorship

or his political career
is over.

Says who?
The party
won't support him.

No nomination,
no second term.

And no second term,
no cushy job for you.

I know it's gonna
be difficult, Harper,

but have a nice day.

Congratulations.

You just put
the entire administration

on the unemployment line.

(LAUGHING)
I cannot believe it.

They were going to make
Benson lieutenant governor.

They really
must be desperate.

What I don't understand, sir,

is why they bothered
to offer you
the ambassadorship.

Why didn't
they just dump you?

They were afraid
if they dumped him,

he'd take his constituency
with him.

(TELEPHONE BUZZES)

Yes? Who?

Majority leader Grady is here.
I wonder what he wants.

I know
how we can find out.

How?

Send him in.

Sorry to interrupt,
Governor.

I'll only take a minute.

Senator Grady.
You know Benson, Clayton.

Sit down, please.

Governor,
I came by to talk to you

about that ambassadorship
you've been offered.

You're a little late, Bill.
I just turned it down.

I don't want to be
an ambassador.

I want to be governor.

And you damn well
should be.

There's no room
in this party

for this nonsense
Harper is trying to pull.

If we wanted a halfback
for governor,

we'd at least get one
with good knees.

Does that mean you'll
be supporting the governor?

Naturally,
but don't kid yourself.

Even with the delegates
I control,

it's gonna
be a tough fight.

But I think
we can pull it off.

Good.

Of course I'm going to have
to call in a few favors.

Bill, thank you, but don't
make any deals for me.

I'd rather
not have the nomination

than win it
the wrong way.

I know that, Gene,
just like I knew

you didn't want to
be the ambassador to Iceland.

Iceland?

Yeah, you know,

that place where the lights
never go out.

Now,
if you'll excuse me,

I have to make
a roll-call vote.

I'll walk you out,
Bill.

Thank you.

I can't believe it.
They were gonna
send us to Iceland.

No, they were gonna
send you to Iceland.

They were gonna
make me lieutenant governor.

Oh, Kraus, how did bowling go
last night?

Oh, it was wonderful
for Denise.

Every man in the place thought
she was so cute.

They kept saying,

"Gretchen, why don't we
make her a regular?"

And why not?

She was wearing
a T-shirt she must have bought

when she was seven years old.

And the pair of slacks
that were only slack
around the ankles.

All I said was
"How was bowling?"

Oh, we won.

You know, I think even Arnold
was interested in her.

Oh, come on, Kraus,
you don't believe that.

Oh, yeah?
Why else would he go out
to the Volkswagen

to get his toupee?

The first time I ever heard
of a rug in a bug.

Hi, Benson.

Hi to ya.

Daddy tells me you're giving
his nominating speech.

Are you nervous?

No, I'm not nervous.

Good, because Daddy's
whole future

depends on this convention.

I know.
He really
wants to be governor again.

I know that, too.

I mean, he really,
really wants it.

You're making me nervous.

Don't worry, Benson.

I can give you
a few tips my teacher gave me.

Okay.

First of all,
always stand up straight.

I know that.

Second,
try and make eye contact.

I know that, too.

And third, never tug
at your underwear.

That's one
I never considered.

Hi, kiddie.
Oh, Benson, I'll be with you
in just a second.

Are you about ready?

Yeah, I got my speech
in my jacket.

I called the hotel.
We're all set up on rooms.

Pete and Clayton are waiting
in the limousine.

I don't think
I've forgotten anything.

I just asked
if you were about ready.

Okay,
I'll see you in the car.

Daddy, good luck
at the convention.

Oh, thank you,
sweetheart.

I'll call you from the hotel
and say good night.

Oh, Daddy, it's important
that you take it
on the first ballot.

Why is that?

Because I don't want to Miss
Magnum, P.I.

What's he got
that I haven't got?

A mustache
and a Ferrari.

Watch me anyway,
okay?

Okay.

Bye, sweetheart.

Bye-bye.

Governor?

Oh, sir?

Benson, have you seen
the Governor?

What? You mean
he didn't watch me
give his nominating speech?

I have no idea.
I can't find him.

Well, he's probably down
on the convention floor.

No. He is not
supposed to do that.

I wish
he'd listen to me.

Clayton,
if he'd listened to you,
we'd be in Iceland now.

Uh, Bambi?
Bambi, come in, please.

Bambi?

That's Peter's code name.

We all
have to use a code name

when we're
on the walkie-talkie.

Bambi, Bambi, please come in.
This is Thumper.

PETER: Thumper, this is Bambi
on the convention floor.

Roger, Bambi.
I'm here with Grumpy.

Grumpy?
That's my code name, Grumpy?

Uh, Thumper,
we can't seem to find Goofy.

PETER: Well, Thumper,
I haven't seen him
on the convention floor.

I'll keep an eye out
for him.

Over and out, good buddy.

Hi, fellas.

Sir, where have you been?

Yeah, Thumper
was worried sick.

I'm sorry, Clayton.
I ran into Mayor Easterbrook.

Oh, Benson, how did
the nominating speech go?

Well, sir,
I got up to give the speech,

and the minute
I mentioned your name,

Harper gave the signal for
a spontaneous demonstration.

Oh, that was nice.

No, sir, the demonstration was
for the other side.

GOVERNOR: Come in.

Gene, I need
to talk to you about
the Elm Ridge delegation.

I think we can get them
in our column

if you're willing
to modify your position

on the Pine Forest
Preservation bill.

You mean make a deal.

Bill, I told you,
no deals.

Okay, fine.

(SIGHS)
Nothing to worry about.

Your support is pretty solid,
but you know me.

I just like to cover
all the bases.

Let me ask you
something, Senator.

When the Governor
wins this nomination,

are we gonna end up
with a divided party?

That's something
that concerns me, too.

I'm gonna talk to Harper.

I think I can convince him
to withdraw his man
after the first ballot.

Good. Anything I can do
in the meantime?

Sit tight and practice
your acceptance speech.

PETER: Thumper, Thumper,
come in. This is Bambi.

Yes, Bambi?

I need you and Grumpy
down on the floor.

They're tearing down
Goofy's pictures

and popping his balloons.

Let's go, Benson.

Okay, Thumper.
Right on your tail.

Give them heck,
fellas.

HARPER: (ON TV)
Deer Park, three votes.

Come on, Deer Park,
you can do it.

MAN: (ON TV) Mr. Chairman,
The town of Deer Park,

the flower
of the tri-city area,

and the home of this year's
AA basketball champion,

Deer Park, where friendship
is the rate of exchange...

Would you just vote!

...casts all three
of its votes

for this state's
next governor,

Gene Gatling!

Yeah!

So, how are we doing now,
Benson?

We got three more
than when you last asked.

I know,
but what's the count?

-,
Gatling's favor.

Whoo-hoo!
Hip, hooray!

Well, I just got
some inside information.

Deer Park is gonna give its
three votes to Bud Resnick.

(LAUGHS)
Wrong again, Clayton.

Are you questioning
my sources, Benson?

Do you want to bet $
on that?

I don't
want to take your money.

(LAUGHS)
Put up or shut up.

Okay.

Clayton, Deer Park
just voted for me.

Oh.

You owe me $, Clayton.

Uh-uh,
you didn't take the bet.

I said, "Okay."

We didn't shake hands.

You owe him $,
Clayton.

Yes, sir.

So, Deer Park puts me ahead.
Is that right?

Yeah, until Resnick's
hometown votes.

Right. East Lynn.
They've got votes.

Oh, here it comes.

HARPER: (ON TV)
East Lynn, votes.

MAN: (ON TV)
East Lynn, the home
of "b*llet" Bud Resnick,

star of football, baseball,
and track...

Who can't even walk
the -yard dash anymore.

...casts all votes
for senator Bud Resnick!

Boo!

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

I'll get it.

Hey, everybody,
this is Cassie Camaro

and the news crew
from Channel .

They want to get
some candid coverage
of the governor.

Thanks, Pete.
You're a sweetie pie.

Hello, Miss Camaro.
I see you all the time on TV.

Pete, you didn't tell me
anything about this.

Oh, it's no big deal,
Governor.

You just continue
watching the roll call,

and we'll set up
the camera

so we can cut to you
from time to time.

You don't have to do anything.
You just sit there.

And when the camera's on,
look like a winner.

Well,
we just lost Sweetwater.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Sir, the camera
isn't on yet.

Oh, so we just
lost Sweetwater, huh?

Okay, Governor,
we're gonna be on
in just a few seconds.

So why don't you have a seat
on the couch here?

You, too, Mr. DuBois.

Now, everybody
just act natural,

and we're watching
the television.

What in the world
are we gonna talk about?

Oh, just casual conversation.
Follow my lead.

I really wasn't prepared
for an interview.

Oh, it isn't an interview.

It's just chitchat.
Forget I'm even here.

I'll tell you, why don't
you forget I'm here.

Oh, we're on.

This is Cassie Camaro in
Governor Gene Gatling's suite

at the Excelsior Hotel.

We're watching the roll call
on the convention floor.

Ah, we just
took Pine Valley.

Oh, we just
took Pine Valley?

That's wonderful,
Governor.

Yes, we didn't expect
Pine Valley.

Actually, you don't expect
to win the nomination, do you?

Well... Well, we, uh...

Isn't it true that
the party wants you out?

I'm still trying to
answer your first question.

But they do
want you out.

Uh, Miss Camaro,
if the party wants him out,

it's because the bosses
have figured out

they can't
control Governor Gatling.

This is Benson DuBois,
State Budget Director,

whose constant slashing
of programs

is undoubtedly
totally responsible

for the Governor's lack
of popularity.

Thank you, Miss Camaro.

You know, I've enjoyed you
for years on television.

I used to watch you
do your pantyhose commercials.

There, uh... There seems to be
some activity on the floor.

Back to you, Dave.

Well, that was certainly
a cheap shot, Mr. DuBois.

I was trying to keep up
with you.

Thanks very much, sweetie pie.
Now, get out of here.

All right.
Calm down, calm down.
I've got a job to do.

Well,
do it on somebody else.

Come on, go.
Out, out.

That's terrific.

Walnut Grove.
We got Walnut Grove.

Oh, Walnut Grove?
What's the tally?

Resnick needs five to win.
You need nine.

What about Somerset?
Grady has delegates.

Grady passed.

Yeah, well, he obviously
wants to be the one to put
the Governor over the top.

With his votes,
it's in the bag.

Congratulations, sir.

It's not official yet.

He's getting ready
to vote.

Wait a minute.
Why is he going to the podium?
Turn it up, Pete.

It looks like
Harper's gonna introduce him.

(GAVEL BANGS ON TV)

Delegates, ladies and
gentlemen of the press,

and honorable guests,

the chair recognizes
a loyal party member,

senate majority leader
William Grady,

our next lieutenant governor!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Lieutenant governor Grady?
What's going on?

Mr. Chairman.

The delegation from Somerset
proudly casts its votes

for the nominee of this party,
the man of the hour,

and the governor
for the next four years,

Bud Resnick!

No!

NARRATOR: Next on Benson...

I've been looking
for everybody.
I have wonderful news.

We're going to
get back to work?

Yes, at the lumber mill.

Great. We can cut the budget
with an ax.

You didn't hear
any crickets?

You get used to all sorts
of wild creatures around here.

Good morning!

Call the ranger station.
It's bigfoot.

If you really
want to be governor again,

run as an independent.