03x03 - Sit-In

[bunniefuu]

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Hello.

Mrs. Lunis,
you've only been my
housekeeper two weeks,

and already
you've lost three keys.

Okay. Put the landlord on.

Hello, Abdul.

No, it's okay, man.
You can let her in.

It's all right.
Don't worry about it.

Put Mrs. Lunis back on.

Mrs. Lunis, the dishwasher
is still broken,

so you'll have to do
the dishes in the sink.

Did I say something funny?

Bring home paper plates.

(BAND PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)

What is that?

Hold it.

What? Marcy!

Hey, Marcy, what is...

Uh...

Excuse me.

What is this?

Mozart's Eine
kleine Nachtmusik

the allegro portion.

You wouldn't happen to have
a smaller portion, would you?

What?
Could I see you
in my office, sir?

When is the last time
you heard music like that?

The last time
I was on an elevator.

Look, Mister, uh...

Selby. Frederick Selby
of the State Arts Council.

I have a :
appointment.

You always travel
with a backup band?

Have a seat.

Mr. Dubois,
we're protesting
the cuts you made

in the arts council budget.

We've had to cancel our
entire concert season.

Then what is this?
A benefit?

We're here to convince you
to restore our funding.

It's only $,.

I didn't recommend that cut.

It was made by the former
budget director, Henry Dylan.

Where's he?
Shady Grove
Memorial Park.

Guess I'll have
to talk to you.

Unless you have
connections.

Is that a polite
way of saying,
"stop the music"?

Well...
We expected you
to say that.

You expected me
to say, "well"?

We're staging this sit-in

because we're sick and tired
of taking it on the chin

every time someone complains
about government spending.

You can only
push us so far.

Mr. Selby, I understand
the problem,

and I sympathize with you.

I'll look into it
and see if I can help.

In the meantime,
there's no need
for a sit-in, right?

Wrong. We're staying
and playing until
we get our money back.

What's this? A list
of your demands?

The rest of
today's program.

We're featuring
Reichardt, Bartok,
Hindemith, and Stockhausen.

Aren't these the guys
that developed the b*mb?

Very amusing, Mr. Dubois,
but I warn you,

we intend to make things
very unpleasant for you.

So did the guys
who developed the b*mb.

I don't want
to hear your excuses.

Well, Gretchen,
this is it.
My last day.

Now, look, Schweitzer,

either you get those hams
over here by :,

or I'll come down there
und nail your
giblets to the wall!

Trouble with the butcher?

That's the least
of my problems.

I'm really gonna miss
the chaos around here.

They keep adding people
to this stupid banquet.

Yeah, Dan and I leave for
Buffalo tomorrow morning.

I'll be lucky if I see
tomorrow morning.

I just can't believe
this is my last day.

I wish this was
my last banquet.

Well, I'll tell you,
it's my last move.

I hate it.

And it's very hard to pack
and cry at the same time.

Kept thinking about
leaving all of you.

It's like losing
a part of me.

Well, I'm sure it will
turn up someplace.

What?

Whatever it was you lost.

I was talking
about leaving.

Kraus, why is Schweitzer
calling me?

Didn't you tell him I don't
handle that anymore?

Tell him yourself, Benson.
I got big problems.

At least we agree
on something.

Well, I guess some things
will never change

even after I'm gone.

I wish those musicians
were gone.

Musicians?

The ones staging a
sit-in in my office.

What are you
talking about?

Selby from
the arts council.

He brought his whole
band with him.

They're in there now playing
the top from the s.

You want me to go in
and talk to them?

You can't go in until
after intermission.

I didn't know they were gonna
bring a whole group.

Don't blame me.

Well, who am I gonna blame?
The composers are dead.

Besides, you made
the appointment.

Would you stop
giving me a hard time?

This is my last day.

And you haven't even
found me a secretary yet.

I need one now, today.

What about the woman
from the secretarial pool?

She types
words a minute.

Yeah, and all
of them wrong.

There's a Denise Stevens
coming in this morning.

I'm sure she's exactly
what you want.

Benson, why aren't
you in your office,

working on that
appropriations bill?

Because obviously
I'm in the kitchen,

working on
a cup of coffee.

Ah. Wonderful.

The foundation of the capitol
building begins to crumble,

the senate and the house
go into overtime,

they rush through a bill
so that it can be rebuilt,

and everything screeches to
a halt while you have coffee.

It's hard to work
with a chamber
ensemble in my office.

(IN SING-SONG TONE)
You're not listening, Benson.

The capitol building
is sinking into the mud.

The speaker of the house
is making my life...

A... A chamber ensemble?

They're sitting in,
protesting a budget cut.

A sit-in?
Way to go, Benson.

You know you're
doing a good job
when people hate you.

In that case,
Clayton deserves a raise.

It has been my experience

that being nice is
counterproductive.

If I were in your shoes,
I'd throw those people out.

If you were in my shoes,
I'd throw the shoes out.

(LAUGHS)

Benson, Benson, Benson.

Clayton, Clayton, Clayton.

Look, I'll get to it as soon
as I can hear myself think.

Ah, has it ever
occurred to you

that perhaps there's
nothing to hear?

That's one for Clayton.
Way to go.

Oh, I'm really gonna
miss this kind of thing.
(CHUCKLES)

Hey, that's right.

After today,
you're yesterday's news.

How poetic.

Hey, can I have
your parking space?

(EXHALES) I'll put in
a good word for you.

Now, now, Marcy,

unlike my insensitive
colleague, I empathize.

I can well understand
how you must feel on this,

your last day with cherished
friends and associates.

Well, thank you, Clayton.

Actually, I'm not
sure how I feel.

I feel sad about leaving
because I love my job here,

and I feel so close
to everyone.

Excuse me, Marcy.

Come, come, Peter,
we're due at the capitol.

That was a touching moment.

Governor, I say we should
throw those guys out.

They have a right
to protest, Benson.

We didn't throw out
the veterans or the Indians.

We didn't even throw
out the teamsters.

That's 'cause we couldn't
throw out the teamsters.

You know what I mean.

Good morning, Marcy.
Good morning, sir.

Oh, dear, that's the
last time I'm ever
gonna say that to you.

Oh, I'm sorry
to hear that.

Does it have something
to do with women's lib?

No, sir.

This is my last day.

I thought you weren't
leaving till Friday.

Today is Friday.

Oh, that's why
I'm out of shirts.

Governor, what am I gonna
do about those musicians?

I thought we settled
all that.

No, we didn't settle that.
Those guys are in my way.

Oh, all right, Benson.

Does that mean
I can throw them out?

No, it means I'll talk to them
the first opportunity I get.

But what about
that music?

Well, if it bothers
you that much,

why don't you work
here in the kitchen?

I served my time
in the kitchen.

"Gee, Marcy, we're just
sick about you leaving."

"Oh, thank you, guys.

"I'm gonna
miss you, too,

"but Dan and I are so excited
about going to Buffalo."

"Really, honey?
Tell us all about it.

Spill your guts.
We want to hear
every detail..."

(EXHALES)

Uh, uh, Katie,
I was just...

Don't bother, Marcy.

When you've been here
as long as I have,

you learn to accept things.

I'm not even gonna
ask about the band.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Come in.

What's going on?

Oh, that?

That's music to interview
secretaries by.

Wouldn't a stereo
be cheaper?

(CHUCKLES)

Not only that.
I could pull the plug.

Have a seat, Miss Stevens.
It's nice to meet you.

I'm Mr. Dubois.
I know.

I was just going over
your resume.
I know.

I can read upside down.

Oh?

You didn't list it
under "skills."

Look under "hobbies."

Ah-ha.

Oh, let's see.

Now, you graduated from
business school with honors,

and you spent
a year on wall street.

And then we moved here.
We?

The four of us.

Me, my mother,
my father, and...

Well, we say there
are four of us,

but actually there
are only three.

Unless you think
a cocker spaniel

can be considered
a member of the family.

Depends on the family.

Then there are four of us.

Miss Stevens...

Call me Denise.

All my friends do.
My family, too.

Including
the cocker spaniel?

Of course not.
He licks my face.

If you don't mind,
I'll just call you Denise.

Do you always say whatever
pops into your head?

Uh-huh.

I know most people watch
every word they say,

but the truth is they're
afraid to let you know

what they're thinking,
what they're feeling.

That's no way
to go through life.

I mean, how can
you enjoy anything

if you're on your
guard all the time?

Did I answer
the question?

That one
and several others.

Now, you worked over
at the capitol?
Mm-hmm, yeah.

I started in the secretarial
pool at the legislature,

and then I worked two years
in the accounting department.

Where you moved up to assist
the head of the department.

Mr. Camino.

Why'd you leave?
Mr. Camino.

Ah-ha. Well...

Denise, you certainly seem
qualified enough for this job.

You know who's
who in the legislature,

and you're good
with numbers.

So, you know, I'll have to be
seeing some other people.

I guess that's it
unless you have
something you want to add.

Oh, sure, I don't mind.
Just give me the figures.

No, I meant
to the conversation.

Oh. No, I don't think so.

I mean, if you feel
I'm qualified,

why say something
that would mess it up?

Thank you,
Mr. Dough boy.

Dubois.

But you can
call me Benson.

(GIGGLES)
Thank you, Benson.

Sorry to interrupt you two.

Benson, I think you need
to take a look at this.

Accounting gave us
the wrong figures

on the amortization of
the new revenue bonds.

You mean, I worked
this whole thing out

based on the wrong
set of figures?

Well, it's okay.

I just spent
the last hour refiguring
it on the calculator.

So, look, it's not .%
compounded quarterly

on a total
of $,,.

It is .%

calculated semiannually
on $,,.

Mm-hmm.
So, what's the new total?

$,,.

She's right.
She is?

Yes.
You're hired.

You did all this
in your head?

DENISE: Oh, well, I have
this thing for numbers.

It's like a second
language to me.

In fact, coming through
the parking lot today,

I memorized all
the license plates.

By the way,
who has -?

I think that's Pete.

His radiator is leaking.

That would be Pete.

Denise, you start today.
All right.

Marcy will show
you the ropes.

This way, Denise.

Watch yourself around
the bassoon player.
Oh...

That's it. Marcy,
call security.

I'm gonna have
these guys thrown out.

That's not a good idea.
Why not?

Governor.
Can I talk to you?
What?

I want to talk to you.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Grazie.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

How about arrivederci?

Governor, what are you
doing with Katie's cello?

Mozart.

When are you gonna
talk to these guys?

Well, I can't right now.

I've used up all my
free time playing,

and I have to go
have lunch now with
the speaker of the house.

But don't worry,
I'll clear everything out
as soon as I get done.

Why're taking
a short break now.

But when we return,

we'll be playing a delightful
little piece entitled,

Bravura variations on a theme
from Moses in Egypt.

I love Paganini.

I prefer fettuccine.

What are you two
talking about?

Lunch!

Come on, Denise,
we'll eat in the kitchen.

MISS KRAUS: Who had the
liverwurst on whole wheat?
Thank you.

Kraus!

Not so fast, Benson.

You didn't even order.

Kraus, musicians are
like stray dogs.

If you feed them, you'll
never get rid of them.

Well, how can they keep
going on an empty stomach?

Same way you keep going
on an empty head.

If you're so fond of them,
take them to the kitchen.

Are you crazy?

I wouldn't be able
to get any work done.

Hey, Mr. Selby,
I found my copy of
Teddy Bears Picnic.

Thank you.

Gee, thanks, Katie.
You're a big help.

It was Daddy's idea,
not mine.

Where is he?

Where is who?
Governor Gatling.

The press
is gonna come over.

They're gonna get some sh*ts
of him playing the cello.

Well, how'd they
find out about this?
I told 'em.

Pete, restrict your
mouth to eating.
Huh?

I mean, the sit-in
is trouble enough.
I don't need publicity.

You think this
is publicity?

If these guys can
hold out a week,

I can get you
Geraldo Rivera.

If they hold out a week,

you can get a new
budget director.

Boy, are you touchy.

I get that way whenever
a mob invades my office.

No, that's good.
You take a hard line.

The public eats it up.

Hey, who made
the sandwiches?

What is this, Benson?
A picnic?

Only if you're
a teddy bear.

When are you
going to recommend

that the governor sign
that appropriations bill?

As soon as I find out
what the rider is all about.

What rider?
The rider the senate
tacked onto the bill.

Benson, you're being evasive.

And you're being evicted.

Benson, you got
anything to drink?

Gentlemen, the
Teddy Bears Picnic.

That's it.

I want you out,
and I want you out.
Leaving.

And most of all,
I want you out.

Security, I have a bunch of
musicians here in my office,

and I want them thrown
out prestissimo.

I specifically told you
not to throw them out.

You didn't tell me that.
You told me that you
were going to talk to them.

Well, I did.

And what I found out
was that these guys
donate their time and talent

to give free concerts
to the people.

The $,
is just for expenses.

$, or $ million, what
they're doing is extortion.

And I can't afford to
let a pressure group
tell me what to do.

Are you saying
that I'm giving in
to a pressure group?

Well, that's what
it looks like.

I don't care
what it looks like.

Am I interrupting
something?
Yes.

Well, I was
just wondering...
Not now, please, Marcy.

I only have till :.
Marcy, can we
have some privacy?

All you want.

If we give in to
these horn tooters,
who's next?

Snake charmers?

Now, don't get sarcastic
with me, Benson.

I'm not getting sarcastic.
I'm getting angry.
Well, so am I.

I don't like it
when somebody

deliberately disobeys
a direct order.

Well, it wasn't
a direct order.

It was a direct suggestion.

I don't need another
cousin Ralph.

Well, good, because
I'm not applying for the job.

What the hell does that mean?
Who is cousin Ralph?

Ralph is running
the Gatling lumber mill
while I'm governor.

And whatever I suggest,
he does exactly
what he wants to do,

which is all right as long
as he takes responsibility.

Fine, then I'll take
the responsibility

for throwing
those guys out.

You'll also take the
responsibility for
solving their problem.

Does that mean
I have to find the $,?

DENISE: Actually, it's $,.

Denise?
Yeah?

What are you doing here?

DENISE: You hired me,
remember?

Yeah, but what are you
doing under my desk?

Oh, well, I thought I would
sharpen some pencils,

and one of them
rolled under your desk.

And when I went to get it,

that's when you and the
governor came in, and I...

Please stop me if I'm
making a fool of myself.

It's too late for that.

Governor, this is my new
secretary, Denise Stevens.

How do you do?

Uh, where was I?

You were telling Benson
he had to take responsibility
for his actions.

But then again,

you can't hear very well
from under a desk.

All right, sir, I'll see
if I can find the money.

Oh, no, Benson,
you will find the money.

Should I take that
as a direct order?

That would be
my suggestion.

Oh, at last.
Somebody I recognize.

Hi, Margie.

Marcy.

What's the trouble,
Denise?

For one thing,
I thought your
name was Margie.

For another, I'm lost.
Where's the
copying room again?

Down the hall
and to the right.

I thought
it was to the left.

It is when you're
at the other end of the hall.

Gotcha. Oh, I don't know
what I would've done
without you today.

Yeah, I'm invaluable.

You are, and I want
to thank you
for all your help.

Oh, you're welcome,
and I'm sure you're
gonna like it here.

They're wonderful,
wonderful, busy people.

I mean,
they're running the state,
and that comes first, right?

It's very demanding work,

and on some days
there isn't even time

for simple pleasantries
like "Hi",

or "how you doing?"
Or "goodbye."

ALL: Surprise!

Oh, my heavens!

I had no...
You didn't...

I'm so glad you did.

Come on, we'll talk later.
Would you cut the cake?

Now, Marcy, did you think
we'd let you get away
without a farewell party?

No, of course not.

Denise...

Forget what you said.
Thank you.

Wow, this is wonderful.

We all chipped in.
Big bucks, too.

Clayton made us
buy champagne.

Peter, one does
not bid farewell
to a treasured friend

with a six-pack
of light beer.

Attention, everybody.
I want to propose a toast.

Benson's not here,
though.

That's why I'm
having a good time.

To Marcy Hill Slater,

the best executive secretary
any man or woman ever had.

May your new life
be filled with good
health, good cheer, and...

(SINGING)
♪ Should old acquaintance
be forgot

♪ And never brought to mind?

♪ Should old acquaintance
be forgot

♪ And days of auld lang syne

♪ For auld lang syne, my dear

♪ For auld lang syne

♪ We'll take a cup
of kindness yet

♪ For auld lang syne ♪

Well, you sure know how
to tell a girl goodbye.

Not just any girl.

(GASPS)
Oh, dear, thank you.

ALL: To Marcy!

Oh, they're gorgeous.

Well, Benson,

does this mean Mr. Selby's
problems are all solved?

Well, there was
nothing to it, sir.

I made a quick phone call.
I got them a private sponsor.

Won't cost the
taxpayers one thin dime.

Well done, Benson.
Thank you, sir.

And may I present the Gatling
lumber mill chamber ensemble?

The Gatling lumber mill?

Yes, I called
your cousin Ralph.

Hit it, fellas.

(BAND PLAYS FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW)

(SINGING)
♪ For she's a jolly
good fellow

♪ For she's a jolly
good fellow

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

(CHEERING)

All right, Benson,
for the last time,

have you finished with
that appropriations bill?

Yes, I have, and I put it
on the governor's desk.

Well...

And it's about time.
And I advised him
not to sign it.

Are you telling me
we're not going to shore up
the capitol building?

No, I'm telling you

we're not going to shore up
a bunch of fat politicians.

In that rider they tacked on,

they tried to sneak through
a new senate gym.

What's wrong with that?

What's wrong
with the old senate gym?

It's two blocks away.

Let 'em jog over.

Benson, the speaker
of the house
weighs pounds.

He can't jog.

He can roll, can't he?

So, that's it,
eh, Benson?

In a nutshell.

And speaking of nutshells,

why don't you go back
to your office?

Of course.

(CHUCKLES)

Certainly.

Benson?
Yeah?

(BLOWS A RASPBERRY)
BENSON: Out!

(DOOR OPENS)
I said get out!

That's a warm goodbye.

Come on in, Marcy.

Well, you're the last.

I've said goodbye
to everybody else.

How did it go?

Well, everybody
was wonderful.

With the possible
exception of Clayton.

What did he do?

Well, he had the
gall to ask me how
much Dan and I expected

to make from the ad agency.

What did you tell him?
The truth.

The first time I've ever
seen Clayton cry.

You look like
you've been doing
some crying of your own.

Yeah.
Came prepared, though.

I wore
industrial-strength mascara.

When's your flight?

Tomorrow morning.

You think you'll come
visit us in Buffalo?

You want the truth?
Lie.

I'll be there
the first chance I get.

Oh, I'm gonna
miss you so much.

Take care of
yourself, huh?

You too.

Bye.

(SIGHS)

Oh, good news.

I hope your first day
wasn't anything
like Jo Spindler's.

Oh, it wasn't.

Who's Jo Spindler?

(LAUGHING) You are
gonna love this story.

Governor, I've already
lost one secretary today.

Denise will like
this story, Benson,
so will you.

See, Jo Spindler
came to work for me
for the mill...

A lumber mill, right?
Yeah. Right. Right.

So, Jo came in
on the first day...

You know, this reminds
me of Howard Keel.
Why?

He was a lumberjack
in Seven Brides
for Seven Brothers.

Well, Jo wasn't
actually a lumberjack,
he was a bark stripper.

Anyhow, Jo had
never seen a time clock.

(GASPS) I forgot to
punch in this morning.

Was I supposed to punch in?
I was here, really.

I could go punch in now
and stay the whole night.

Funny. That's what Jo did.

Let's all go
watch the news.

You're gonna come in
real handy around here.