03x01 - Benson's Appointment

[bunniefuu]

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Poor Mr. Dylan.
Funerals are
so sad.

Yeah, well,
look at it this
way, Marcy.

It's death
that gives life
its meaning.

Pete, what a
profound thought.

He saw that on a sign
at the funeral parlor.

Well, I think Dylan
let the job of budget
director get to him.

He took the blame
for inflation,

unemployment,
high interest rates.

Yeah.
That poor guy
was hated

from one end
of the state
to the other.

Somebody
must have
liked Dylan.

Otherwise, where'd
all those flowers
come from?

You sent them, sir.

Oh.

Well, I thought
he looked very peaceful.

I think he looked
very dead.

I didn't think
he looked that dead.

Well, at least
he didn't die of
anything serious.

I'll be in my office.

You know something?

The poor man
didn't even have
any next of kin.

You're kidding.

Hey, I wonder if he left
anything in his desk.

Well, I think Henry
was a wonderful man,

and I'm gonna miss him.

Well, I will, too,
of course.

However, the ship of
state must sail on.

You're right about that,
Clayton.

Nothing will bring
Henry back.

At least nothing
that we know about.

What does that mean?

Well, if you knew anything
at all, Benson,

you'd know there
is a possibility

that people die
und come back in
another shape.

Well, let's hope
you do better next time.

Uh, sir,

I think we should
set aside our grief
and mourning

and get on with the
business at hand.

What business is that,
Clayton?

Appointing a new
budget director, sir.

Now, I've given
the matter a great
deal of thought.

I've considered a number
of highly qualified people,

but I keep coming back
to one name.

Mine.

Oh, well,
I'll, uh...

Certainly take it
into consideration.

Well, you certainly
won't regret it, sir.
Good.

I feel my qualifications
speak for themselves.

Oh, what do they say?

Why would Clayton
want to go to a job

where everybody's
gonna hate him?

Beats me.
He's got that
right here.

Clayton, I know
how much you
want this job,

but you are just
too valuable to me
as chief of staff.

Is that your
final decision, sir?

I'm afraid so.

Very well Governor.
(SIGHING)

I can live with that.

(WAILING AND SHRIEKING)

(CLAYTON WAILING)

Benson, you
must have ESP.

I was just thinking
about you.

ESP Governor?
You sent for me!

Oh, well, that's why
I was thinking about you.

Well, I figured you
wanted to okay
this request

for the new security gate.
Oh.

Sign there.
Ah.

Benson, did I ever
tell you the story

about Jeb Holly,
used to work for me
down at the mill?

I wish I could say yes.

You will never
guess what happened

the first day Jeb
was a lumberjack.

I'm not about to try.

See, after we cut
down the trees,

we'd load them
onto these big trucks

and carry them
off to the mill.

And one of the
trucks got too many
logs on the top,

and it got jammed
underneath a
railroad trestle.

Got wedged right in there!

Couldn't budge it
one way or the other.

That's one of your funnier
stories, sir.

You mind if I use it?

Would you sign this?

So, we called in
the highway department,

the civil engineers.

Nobody could figure out
how to get that darn truck out

from underneath
that trestle.

Then it's still there?

No. Oh, no.

Jeb Holly came up
with a solution.

He pointed to
the trucks,
and he says,

"Why don't you
let some of the air
out of the tires?"

It worked!

A hell of a story, sir.
Would you sign this?

So, I really kept
my eye on Jeb Holly.

The next year
I made him my foreman,

and he did a
wonderful job
for me.

And that's why,
I want you to be my new
state budget director.

Say what?

I want you to
be the state
budget director.

(LAUGHING)

You're serious,
aren't you?

Hi, Benson.
Hi, Katie.

How was school?

Why? What did
my father say?

Is he freaked out?

I don't think so.
Why should he
be freaked out?

No special reason.

Just the usual
pressures of
being Governor.

The stress of office.
My report card.

Ah-ha.

I got a D in history.

What do you think
I should do?

Leave town.

Come on Benson,
this is serious.

Well, you better go
and talk to your father.

What can I say?

Tell him you
will study harder.

Well, I might as
well give it a try.

That's a trouble
with being desperate,

you go with the
first crazy idea
that comes along.

Hey, how's it going,
Mr. Budget director?

Come on, Pete.
I'm still thinking about it.

Okay, while
you're thinking,
check this out.

What's this?
That's your biography.

I'd like to have
a press release ready,
you know, just in case.

You spelled my
last name wrong.

What? Benson Dubwah.

D-U-B-W-A-H.

How else would
you spell it?

How about D-U-B-O-I-S.

No, that can't
be right.

You're telling me
how to spell my name?

Oh, well, okay.
Give it to me again.

Dubwah.
D-U-B-O-I-S.

Hey, shouldn't
that be Debois?

Shouldn't you
be someplace else?

I'll fix it.
No problem.
What is this?

What's what?
I never attended
Harvard University.

Sure you did!

Remember when they
honored the Governor?

You were there.

I was also in Detroit.
That doesn't make
me a Buick.

Look, Benson,
it's not easy
building an image.

Especially for a man
who doesn't have one.

Well, I got
some great news.

The Governor says
I can become your aide
when you take the job.

What are you
talking about?

Well, he knows you
gonna need somebody

to help you get
over the rough spot.

Well,
I appreciate it,
Marcy,

but I haven't decided
to take that job yet.

Benson, would you
please consider the
people of this state?

Now, suppose you
refuse the job and
the next budget director

turns out to be
some insensitive,
pompous jackass.

Well, then, Clayton
would have somebody
to go to lunch with.

Good evening, Governor.

Good evening, Benson.

Couldn't sleep, huh?
Right.

You're thinking
about that
budget director job.

Right.

Thinking you
might not accept it.
Right.

That's why
I couldn't sleep.

I got to thinking
that you'd be thinking

exactly what
you've been thinking.

Well, if I'd known
you were thinking it,

I would have
gone to sleep.

Benson, it's a
terrific opportunity!

Why don't you go for it?

Oh, Governor,
what do I know
about high finance?

Well, we've got
experts for that.

But their decisions
are always based
on decimal points first

and people second.

Now, I know
you'd do it the
other way around.

But I don't have any
practical experience.

That's exactly
what you do have.

You've brought this
mansion in under
budget for two years.

How can you compare
the mansion budget
to the state budget?

Well, it's just a
matter of size.

If you can handle
one budget, you can
handle the other.

All you do is add zeroes.

Well...

I don't know.

But you've studied
business management.

You're taking courses
toward a degree in economics.

Yeah, but suppose
I didn't do a good job.

It'd make you look bad.

And frankly, sir,
you don't always look
that good, to begin with.

You know, Benson,
that's what
I like about you.

Your honesty, which is
why I want you in there.

You sure about this?

Benson, there are safer men
I could pick for this job,

but I don't want
somebody to play it safe.

I want somebody
to play it straight.

And that's why I want you!

Will you do it?

Well...

If you're willing
to take the chance,
so am I.

Did you know Marcy
wants to be your aide?

Yeah, yeah.

But if she
works for me,
what will you do?

Oh, I'll stay Governor.

Excuse me, Governor.
Senator Chapman's here.

Ah, send him in.
Governor.

Right this way, sir.

Nice to see you,
Senator.
Thank you.

Sit down, please.

Well, what can
I do for you?

I thought we might
discuss your nominee
for budget director.

Ahh, yes. Benson.
Good man.

I don't want him.

Oh, now,
really, Senator.

His job is running
this mansion,

and now you are
nominating him

to be budget director
for this state?

Well, I see nothing
wrong with that.

After all, don't we
have an astronaut

and a basketball player
in the United States Senate?

I don't really want to
debate the issue, Governor.

I want to know why
you rejected my
candidate for the job.

Representative Harris.

The perfect choice.

Since he's been in the
house of representatives,

he has made hundreds
of decisions,

none of which
I have disagreed with.

Well, Benson's made
hundreds of decisions,

some of which
I have disagreed with,

but then Benson
has a mind of his own.

Are you implying

that representative
Harris is my yes-man?

No, I'm not implying
anything, Senator.

I'm stating it
loud and clear.

Well, I have something
to tell you, Governor.

My committee has to
approve this nomination,

and your Benson
doesn't stand a
chance in hell.

I'm going to bury him.
I think you'd
better leave.

Now!

Out of the way!

Who was that?

Senator Chapman.

Nasty sucker,
isn't he?

What's his problem?

You.

Ah, I see
the financial wizard

is still cramming his head
with facts and figures.

Mm-hmm.

You've been at it
for two weeks, Benson.

But then,
it must be slow going

when you have to
count on your fingers.

(CHUCKLING)

Kraus, please,

I have to go
before the committee
tomorrow morning.

Oh, forget it, Benson.
You're wasting your time.

They say the last nominee
who faced Chapman's committee

went in as a
college professor and
came out a Russian spy.

The only way
Chapman can hurt me

is if I fail to
answer his questions
about the economy.

I hope you're
right, Benson,

because if that committee
approves your nomination,

never again will we work
side by side in the kitchen.

So don't blow it.

What are all
these people doing here?

Well, you always get
a crowd like this

when they smell blood.

Hey, look who
just walked in.

Dracula
and his bride.

Hello, Benson.
Surprised to see me?

Horribly.

Clayton, what are
you doing here?

Well, the Governor sent
me to counsel Benson.

Can't leave you two
alone for five minutes.

MARCY: Here's
the committee.

Which one is Chapman?

The one who looks like
he just had a tooth pulled.

And liked it.

Hearing will come
to order, please.

The matter before
this committee
is the confirmation

of a new
budget director.

Is the nominee present?

Yes, sir.

Good luck, Benson.

Don't embarrass
the guys at Harvard.

Just get the job.
Lie if you have to.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, Senator Chapman,
is there any objection

to my acting as
counsel for Mr. DuBois?

Not at all Mr. Endicott.

Thank you, sir.

Distinguished members
of the committee,

I stand before
you today...

Sit down, Endicott.
We're here to listen
to the nominee.

Oh. Yes, of course.

(CLEARS THROAT)

That's why I arranged
to have him present.

Thank you.

Mr. Debasie...

Uh, DuBois, Senator.

You must have me
confused with
Count de-Basie.

The only thing that
I'm confused about

is the Governor's recent
budget cut of $ million.

Now, won't that eliminate
a number of state services?

Uh, you don't
have to answer that.

He's setting you up.

I hope I'm not paying
you for this advice.

No, Senator, none
of the state's services

will have to
be eliminated.

But with such a
drastic reduction
in funds,

how do you propose to keep
these services operating?

You walked right
into that, Benson.

You're on your own.

We can keep these
services operating,
Senator,

by getting rid
of some of the things

that the state
doesn't need anymore.

Such as aid
to the elderly?

No, Senator.

Such as private
consulting firms
duplicating state services.

Such as members of the
legislature going to Hawaii
at government expense.

Such as schools...
Schools?

Yes, Senator. Schools
that are half empty.

years ago,
we had a lot more young
people in our state.

Today, we can
consolidate those schools
and use the savings

to help maintain aid
to the elderly and
other services.

(SPECTATORS MURMURING)

Well, we pulled out
of that one very nicely.

Now, on July , ,
in Perth Amboy, New Jersey,

weren't you arrested
for armed robbery?

MARCY: What?

That's a simple
question. Yes or no?

Well...

Yes.
Oh, no.

But there's
an explanation.

There's always
an explanation.

Recess.
We want a recess.

No, we don't want
a recess, Clayton.

I want to explain
about the arrest.

Well, while you're at it,
why don't you explain

why you were AWOL from
the United States Army?

You left out the part
about the nun.

Recess.
I demand a recess.

Sit down, Endicott.
You're out of order.

I was AWOL
because I was in jail.

Jail?

We throw ourselves
on the mercy
of the committee.

Clayton.

I was in jail
because I was arrested

while thumbing my
way back to Fort Dix
after a -day pass.

I hitched a ride
with this nun.

At least, I thought
she was a nun.

She drove until she
saw the roadblock,

and then she pulled out
a g*n and said, "You drive."

Well, you know
how difficult it is

to drive with
your hands up.

The next thing I knew,
the sheriff arrested us both.

I was cleared.
The nun got to .

I get a card from her
every Christmas.

You see? There
was nothing to it.

And you must have
known that, Senator.

Well, these questions
have to be asked.

If they're causing
the nominee
any embarrassment,

I'm sorry.

Senator, I know why
you brought up my arrest,

so that in
the public mind,

there'd always be
some sort of connection

between me and
armed robbery.

Well, the damage
has been done.

And you're not
the least bit sorry.

But I am.

I'm sorry that all the
voters who put you in office

weren't in this hearing room
today, because if they were,

you'd be out on
your duff tomorrow.

(SPECTATORS MURMURING)

Just a minute!
(SPECTATORS CLAPPING)

Just a minute.
(SPECTATORS CLAPPING)

You're not the first
to abuse authority, Senator,

and you certainly
won't be the last.

That's why they
were so careful
with the constitution,

so that it would work
in spite of people like you.

Are you finished?

No, sir, I am not.
These things
had to be said.

And if they cause
the senator any
embarrassment,

I'm delighted.

Now why don't you go on
with this hearing?

(SPECTATORS CLAPPING)

(CAMERA CLICKING)
(SPECTATORS CLAPPING)

Why don't you
go on with this
hearing without me?

And whatever
you decide, I know
that I can do this job

for the people
because I'm
one of them,

which is more than
I can say for you,
Senator.

(SPECTATORS CLAPPING)

Relax, Benson,
the committee will
call in their decision

as soon as they can.

I shouldn't have
let Chapman get
to me, sir. I'm sorry.

Well, my only regret is that
I wasn't there to see it.

(TELEPHONE BUZZING)
(BENSON GASPING)

Yes? Oh,
thank you, Marcy.

Hello, yes, I've been
waiting for your call.

Oh?

No, I understand.

Oh, yes, yes.
These things happen.

GOVERNOR: Well,
of course I'm disappointed,

but I'll just have to find
somebody else, that's all.

It's not the
end of the world.

All right, thank you.
Good bye.

(SIGHS)

Well, that's it, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

I'll just have to
find another history
tutor for Katie.

Governor,
next time the
phone rings,

would you let
me pick it up, please?

Committee sure is taking
its time, isn't it?

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Oh, Benson wants
to take this, Marcy.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Oh, just a minute.
It's for you, Marcy.

Sorry. I'll take
it at my desk.

Why don't they call
and get it over with?

Patience, Benson.
As the Chinese say,

"The oxen may pull
the cart up the hill,

"but it's the bird
that makes its
nest in the trees."

(EXHALING SLOWLY)

I'll try
to live by that.

Oh, come on,
sweetheart,
don't tease me.

Tell me the news.

They did?
No! No kidding?

Oh, that's great!

When do we start?

That soon?

No, no, of course
I'm excited.

I just didn't expect it
to happen this fast.

Okay.

All right, so,
you'll fill me in on the
details when I get home.

Yeah, sure
we'll celebrate.

Okay, honey, bye-bye.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Uh, Governor's mansion.

Yes, one minute, please.

(TELEPHONE BUZZING)

Yes, Marcy?

Well, it's about time.
Hold your breath, Benson.

Who's breathing?

Yes, Senator?

Uh-huh.

All right, thank you.

Congratulations,
Mr. Budget director.

You got it, right?

BENSON: Right.
Right, right, right.

That's wonderful.
Congratulations.

And Miss Kraus
didn't think
there'd be anything

to celebrate,
but that's all right.

I insisted that
she put some
champagne on ice.

Even though I knew
Benson didn't have
a chance in...

Marcy, I can't
believe it.

MARCY: Well, I can.
I knew you'd get the job.

Yeah, but now
I got to do it. We've
got our hands full.

Yeah.
How about an early
start in the morning?

Sure.

Okay, what's the matter?

I need to talk to you
about something.

Well, come on.
Out with it.

Well, I...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Dan and his partner
have bought a
small ad agency.

That's terrific.

In Buffalo,
New York.

Oh.

Too bad.

You've only been
married a year.

It's gonna be tough
not living together.

I'm going with him.
I'm the partner.

Oh, Marcy,

I was counting on you.

Lousy timing,
I know. I'm sorry.

Well, that just means
we'll have to get
organized a lot faster.

How much time do we
have before you leave?

Two weeks.

Two weeks?

Is that all you're
gonna give me
is two lousy weeks?

Oh, come on, Benson.
Please don't make
me feel guilty.

It's not my fault
he found the
agency in Buffalo.

It is your fault.

Why'd you go
and marry a gypsy?

'Cause he asked me.

What kind of a
dumb excuse is that?

Now wait a minute.

Do you think it's easy
for me to just pick up

and leave people
that I care about?

Well, you're going,
aren't you?
Yes I'm going!

Well, the sooner
the better.
Oh, that suits me fine.

Me too.

I didn't mean
a word of that.
Did you?

No.

I guess we're just
trying to say we're
gonna Miss each other.

Listen, I'm...
I'm extremely
happy for you.

And I'm extremely
happy for you.

I'll see if the Governor
and Gretchen need
any help, okay?

All right, all right. Okay.

(SIGHING)

Hmm.

I wish my mother
were here to see me.

She'd sure be
proud of me.

(CHUCKLING)

If this don't beat all,
this is the damndest thing.

Oh, that's a lot indeed.

Oh, here's to
you Benson.

To Benson, whose
life story reads
like a fairytale.

It will be by the
time you get
through with it.

And I'd like to say, the
governor couldn't have picked
a better man for the job.

Here, here.

Now that you hit
the big time, Benson,

don't forget
your old friends.

I won't Katie.

Does that include me?

Especially you.

Uh, hey Clayton,
don't you want
to make a toast?

Oh, uh...
(CLEARS THROAT)

Yes of course. Uh...
(CLEARS THROAT)

Here's to permanent peace
in the Middle East.

Uh, okay. Alright, uh,
Kraus, your turn.

Oh, yeah.
Um, to Benson,

at last he's out of
my kitchen und
out of my hair.

Nothing gets out
of your hair, Kraus.

I have seen things try.