[ALL grunting]
[shouting]
[ISSEI]
I'll never forget.
It happened right after
Asia and I kicked ass
during the three-legged race
at the sports festival.
Are you Hero Faction
from the Chaos Brigade?
The Three Great Powers entrusted
us to protect this town.
Therefore, we will not
allow you to go any further.
[growls]
Looks like he's a possessor
of a Sacred Gear!
[ISSEI] I don't give a sh*t,
I won't let him touch Rias!
[groans]
[screams]
[ISSEI gasps]
What the hell?
[ALL gasp]
[ISSEI groans]
[ISSEI pants, sighs]
Thanks, Asia. Oh, and thanks
for helping me train
while we're in Kyoto.
[ASIA]
No problem!
Being able to help you
makes this school trip
even more special.
[KIBA]
Training is the best way
to shorten a power gap
between two people.
Don't you think having more
partners would probably help?
Yeah, I'd have
to agree with Kiba.
You sure do love
that practice sword, Xenovia.
[XENOVIA]
Well, of course.
I'm gonna be
carrying it today, too.
I'm not taking any
chances out there.
[grunts]
Here's an idea, why don't you
take this with you, as well?
Thank you, this should
be pretty easy to hide
while we're walking around.
Now, I'll be prepared in
case we're att*cked again.
That's true.
We can't afford to
let our guard down
while those Chaos
Brigade dipshits
are loose somewhere in Kyoto.
We should all be
extra vigilant today.
Fo sho.
All right, enough talk!
It's time to get
down to training!
♪
[KIRYUU] Asia, there's a rumor
that if you trip in Sannenzaka,
you'll tumble to your death.
What? How scary!
Hey, calm down.
It's just an urban legend.
Uh, what? Oh, come on.
Not you too!
Why would Japan
develop this place
in such a terrifying manner?
[ISSEI]
I said it's a superstition.
[IRINA gasps]
Is it true!
Will we die if we fall down?
[KIRYUU]
Wow, guys, take a chill pill.
[GIRLS]
We can't!
[ASIA]
What a beautiful view!
[IRINA] This temple honors
the home of Kannon Bodhisattva.
[XENOVIA]
In Sanskrit, it's
"sahasrabhuja arya
avalokitesvara."
[ASIA]
Huh?
Hey, it's not like I go around
speaking Sanskrit every day.
[IRINA] Did I ever tell
you that Issei said
he'd like to fondle the boobs
of women at the same time?
Did you hear me?
Uh, yes. That does
sound like him.
Guess it's no surprise
those three get along so well.
But that church-y vibe
they've got going on
can be kind of annoying.
[ISSEI]
Hm?
[clapping hands]
[KIRYUU]
Hey, Issei, you and Asia
should totally draw
a love fortune.
[ISSEI]
Let's see. He, he...
Hell to the yes!
It says we're super
compatible with each other!
Yay! That's wonderful.
I'm so happy.
Oh, Issei.
[XENOVIA]
Congratulations, Asia!
You guys are totes adorbs.
Aw, even a perv
like you can be happy.
[MOTOHAMA crying]
Man the eff up,
Motohama!
We're gonna cock kick
that sucka later
for stealing
all the shorties.
Hey! Time to move on!
Huh? It's not silver?
Xenovia told me she thought
living in this place
would be tough,
but then again,
she also thought
the temple would actually
be made of silver.
Based on its name,
that's a fair assumption.
[gasps delightedly]
Oh, wow! It's gold!
Real gold!
I'm happy for you.
It's just like you imagined.
[ISSEI]
If she says "my precious,"
I'mma lose my sh*t.
[XENOVIA]
That shrine is at maximum shine!
To Rias, and send!
[KIRYUU] You're gonna
catch a lot of flies
like that, Xenovia.
[WOMAN screams]
Help! That man just grabbed me.
-[WORKER] Stop that guy!
-[MAN laughing]
[MAN]
Boobies!
Just one more squeeze,
I beg of you.
--[WORKER] You can't...
--Wow, a shrine perv.
Yo, what if it's like
an epidemic or whatever?
It was on the news!
They were sayin there's like
zombie pervs everywhere,
know what I'm sayin'?
If so, then that means
you're patient zero
since you grabbed my chesticles
on the train yesterday.
Say dawg,
I'd have to be infected
to willingly touch your
fugly-ass man titties.
I'm tellin' you, bro,
you ain't got no jiggle.
Perhaps you should
be quarantined.
Oh! A zombie perv-ocaplyse
would be tight, son!
Hello?
[AKENO]
Hi, Issei.
I'm sorry to bother
you on your trip.
Koneko noticed something about
the picture you sent Rias.
Oh, yeah? What was it?
[AKENO]
The other people in the photo,
they're actually fox yokai .
We wanted to let you know.
Wait, you're kidding me!
[XENOVIA]
We've got company.
I gotta go.
Something came up.
Everyone just hold on a second!
[ISSEI]
Huh?
[ROSSWEISSE] Azazel asked
me to come and find you.
Everyone must come
with me immediately.
What the fox?
Oh, they're here.
So glad you all
could make it!
[ISSEI]
Azazel? Lady Leviathan?
What the heck's going on?
[FOX WOMAN] We brought them,
as you requested.
[ISSEI gasps]
You again?
Greetings.
I lead the yokai who live
within the shadows of Kyoto.
I'm the daughter of Yasaka.
My name's Kunou.
Please forgive
my rash behavior.
I wasn't thinking straight
when I att*cked you yesterday.
It was wrong of me.
I am truly sorry.
Hey, all's well
that ends well.
I'm just glad we were able to
clear up the misunderstanding.
For sure!
Luckily, angels are, like,
super forgiving beings!
[ASIA] Yeah! We'd much
rather be your friend.
[KUNOU]
But, the way I acted.
[chuckles]
[ISSEI] Uh, you said
your name's Kunou?
So, here's the thing.
You were just worried
about your mom, right?
[KUNOU gasps]
Yes, of course!
[ISSEI] It's easy
to make a mistake
when you're worried about
someone you care about.
Believe me.
I've hulked out for my homies
so many times I've lost count.
Look, what I'm saying is
we're cool, so don't b*at
yourself up over it, okay?
[KUNOU exhales]
Thank you.
[KUNOU] Also, I feel bad
for even asking, but...
Okay, so here are the current
details of the situation.
A few days ago, Yasaka,
Kunou's mother and the
revered leader of the yokai,
left to meet up with Sakra,
who's a servant of Mount Meru.
Unfortunately,
we've been informed
that Yasaka never made
it to the meeting.
The yokai conducted
an investigation
regarding her disappearance,
and they determined that
Yasaka must have been kidnapped
by an unknown party.
So, they decided
to search all over Kyoto
for any suspicious people,
which eventually lead them
to Issei and his tour group,
resulting in
yesterday's att*ck.
That's when
Lady Leviathan and I
came to speak to the yokai .
We explained
that the underworld
was not involved
with Princess Yasaka.
In fact, judging from
the method and various intel,
we believe that more than
likely the culprits may be
the Hero Faction of
the Chaos Brigade.
[ISSEI] More like
the d*ck Weed Faction.
[TENGU-LEADER]
Governor-General,
Lady Leviathan,
I beg you, we must
try and find a way
to save Princess Yasaka.
We've shared a bond
with the fox clan
since the days of old,
and we shall aid you
however we can.
If it would help you,
here is a painting
of Princess Yasaka.
Whoa! Mama!
[KUNOU]
That is my mother.
Promise me.
Promise me that you'll
lend us your strength
and help save her!
Please, I'm begging you!
I need your help.
[ISSEI] Hold up.
If we save her...
[gasps]
[YASAKA giggles]
Oh my.
Are you the
Red Dragon Emperor?
You're incredibly brave.
Ah, I simply must thank you
for rescuing me, Issei.
But why are you
just sitting there?
[YASAKA laughs]
[YASAKA] Very well, if this
is what you desire,
I shall allow it.
It's the least I can do,
since you saved me.
[ISSEI moans happily]
MILF att*ck!
[laughing]
[ASIA]
Issei!
I know what nosebleeds mean,
Mister Dirty Thoughts!
U-Uh, it's just allergies!
[AZAZEL]
So yeah, that's the situation.
For right now,
all you need to do
is enjoy your school trip.
Keep your guard up
and your ears to the ground.
Rock on.
[AZAZEL]
As an apology,
and also as a way
to deepen our relationship,
the young princess has
offered to be your tour guide.
It would be my honor.
[AKENO] I wonder how
Issei and everyone else
are doing in Kyoto.
[RISE] It is a little strange
that he hasn't called us back,
but you did say
the yokai in the picture
weren't hostile,
right, Koneko?
True dat. At least,
they seemed pretty chill
for a bunch of foxes.
[RIAS]
Then I'm sure it's fine.
Knowing Issei, he's handling
the situation with care.
[AKENO]
Knowing Issei,
he's probably handling
more than the situation,
if you catch my drift.
[RISE, KONEKO gasps
[sighs] How nice...
To get away for a little while?
and I love Kyoto at night.
[AKENO giggles]
[AKENO] Asia, Xenovia,
and Irina are such cute girls,
though a little naive.
Who knows what's happening
on that trip right now?
Three of them
and just one of him.
That is enough!
What's wrong with you?
Why you would even bring
something like that up!
[AKENO] Because you're
so much fun to tease.
Seriously, Rias.
You make the most adorable face
when you're worried about Issei.
[RIAS gasping]
Uh, what's up, Asia?
Hiya! Wanna play
some cards, maybe?
I invited Xenovia
and Irina over too.
Hope that's all right.
[ISSEI]
Uh, say what, now?
[MOTOHAMA]
Issei! Let's go, man!
We hit the jackpot!
Ah, quick!
You gotta hide. Come on!
--[ASIA] Huh?
--[ISSEI] Here!
[MATSUDA]
Holla at ya boy!
Huh? He's not here.
[MOTOHAMA] Do you think he
already found our peeping spot?
[MATSUDA] What? I'll pop
a cap in that busta's ass
if he's scopin' torpes
without his crew.
[MOTOHAMA gasps] Now we
don't have to share the hole!
Aww. I'm missin'
the peep hole?
[ISSEI gasps]
[ASIA]
Tell me something.
At the train station
the day we left for Kyoto,
you kissed Rias,
didn't you?
Uh, well, yeah. It was
a "see you later" kiss.
Oh, if that's the case,
would it be too much trouble
for you to kiss me, too?
[door clatters]
Hey, there!
So why are you guys just
swappin' spit in the closet?
[ASIA/ISSEI gasp]
Whoa! A true PG-
moment right here!
How much longer until you two
kick things up to Rated R, huh?
Or is it M for Mature?
[ASIA chuckles nervously]
[ISSEI gasps]
Asia? Hey! Speak to me!
[XENOVIA]
Make some room.
[IRINA]
Ex-squeeze me.
[IRINA giggles]
There we go.
[ROSSWEISSE]
Stand firm, ladies.
Tonight, we must not allow
the Grabbin' Dragon
to strike again!
[XENOVIA]
Okay, I'm up next.
[ISSEI chuckles]
Hold up.
You can't just call dibs!
[XENOVIA] Irina,
you should get in on this.
Huh? Why me? I'll pass.
This is a golden opportunity!
Just think, you could
experience a man!
Yeah, but if I do that,
then I might become
a fallen angel.
Don't be such a worrywart.
Think about the big picture!
Plus, there's always the
possibility you won't fall.
It's not like
you know for sure.
I could birth the
Red Dragon Emperor's child.
Which I suppose would be
a good asset to Heaven.
[XENOVIA] All right then,
let's be fruitful and multiply.
Kiryuu said it's important
to make good memories
on school trips.
Clothes off, mister.
[ISSEI]
Memories, not mamories!
[grunts]
[ISSEI] And the whole
angel light thing
makes it kinda awkward,
you know?
[XENOVIA]
Listen, it's only fair
that you also do the deed
with Asia when she wakes up.
But I'll let you
practice on me,
that way you'll get
loads of experience.
[sighs] How thoughtful
of you, Xenovia!
[ISSEI shrieks]
[BOTH moaning]
[ROSSWEISSE]
Weaklings.
[door clatters]
Hey, this might be
a weird question,
but have you seen Asia
or the other girls?
[gasps]
[ASIA moans]
What happened?
[XENOVIA] Oh,
welcome back to the party!
Issei and I were just
getting ready to make a baby!
Uh, what, did you say a baby?
[XENOVIA]
Indeed I did.
You can have a go next,
if you want to.
Hold on! This is a big deal.
His manhood isn't
that impressive.
[ASIS] No, what I'm saying
is you shouldn't be
the one to do it, Xenovia!
If anyone's gonna bear
Issei's children, it's me!
Now kindly, move aside!
Here, I come!
Uh, excuse you?
I called dibs while
you were sleeping!
Amazing.
I've never seen two girls fight
over a boy's bodily
fluids before.
[ISSEI] Hey, how about
a little less commentating
and more helping?
[XENOVIA]
That's cool.
I just want, like,
a little of his DNA.
[ISSEI] This is a wet
dream come to life,
but I might actually
suffocate from boob overdose.
The closet isn't just small,
it's lacking oxygen!
[grunts]
[ISSEI moans]
[ISSEI] I've fallen
and I can't get up.
[IRINA] I've never done
anything like this before.
So, could you maybe
show me what to do?
[ISSEI gasps]
[ISSEI]
Huh? Squeeze on, squeeze off.
--[IRINA moans]
--[ISSEI] Squeeze on.
[GROUP gasping]
All of you out, right now!
[ISSEI]
I still can't believe I had
three babes fighting over me.
I mean, score! But in
the end, I'm all talk.
I suck at actually
making any kind of move.
At this rate, the only thing
I'll be is the Virgin King,
like a loser.
I can't even seal
the deal with Rias,
and she sleeps
next to me naked!
Then again, she's definitely
out of my league.
And yet, she's always
on my mind.
We always want
what we can't have.
[MATSUDA]
Yo, Issei.
What's up with that
dumb-ass look you got?
Uh, just inner monologuing,
but since we're on the subject
of dumb-ass looks...
Yeah, well, hashtag worth it.
Yo ass missed out.
I have zero regrets and
zero feeling in my face.
Hey, so what's the deal?
Are we waiting for someone?
[ISSEI]
Yep.
[KUNOU] There you are,
sorry I'm late.
[GROUP gasps]
[ISSEI]
Ah, Kunou, what up?
[MATSUDA]
Damn, Issei.
Is this pipsqueak
the tour guide
you were telling us about?
Aw, she's so itty bitty---
Wow! She's cute. Aw!
Pervs like you
should really avoid
hanging out with
little girls though.
Unhand me, you foul
tasteless plebeian.
Bonus, she even
talks like a princess!
--OMG, it's like a fanfic!
--[KUNOU groans]
[ISSEI]
That's enough.
Okay? Everyone,
this is my friend, Kunou.
I'm here because I promised
him a tour of Kyoto.
Thanks a lot.
I appreciate it.
Of course.
Mother would be
very angry at me
if I were to neglect
a promise that I made.
I am happy to oblige!
Glad to hear it.
Okay, we're ready to roll out
whenever you are, Kunou.
[KUNOU] The boiled
tofu here is famous.
For sure!
It's actually really good!
[MATSUDA gasps]
This stuff is mad tasty, yo!
[KUNOU]
This is my favorite dish.
I'll gladly eat it every day.
Yeah! I'm right there
with you, sister!
[ISSEI] Don't get me wrong,
it's pretty bad-A,
but I like to
switch it up a bit.
[KUNOU]
Even though this tofu is good,
it doesn't even
begin to compare
to the boiled tofu
my mother can make.
Well, moms always make
the best food, don't they?
--Huh?
--[IRINA gasps]
Here! Have some more!
[ISSEI]
Don't mind if I do.
What a nice surprise.
Hey Kiba, what's up, man?
Oh, nothing much.
You must be Kunou.
It's so nice to meet you.
Our teacher, Azazel,
has told me all about you.
--I'm Kiba.
--[KUNOU chuckles]
I see, well in that case,
it's a pleasure to meet you.
[ISSEI]
We're going this way,
so maybe we'll catch up
with you guys later.
Arashiyama in autumn.
It's truly a sight to see.
Wait, Azazel?
Dude, isn't it a little early
for day drinking, bro?
That's exactly what I said,
and in front
of students, no less!
But will he listen to me?
No, because he's just
another stubborn man!
Jeez, has anyone ever told you
that you're a total buzzkill?
You know what?
You've gotta learn
to unwind a little bit.
That's why you can't
find yourself a man.
[loud bang]
How dare you,
what would you know
about my personal life?
Give me that cup!
I'll show you how to
drink for real, little man!
[AZAZEL stammers]
[exhales]
Hot button issue.
[ROSSWEISSE groans, hiccups]
[AZAZEL] Wait, are you
already drunk from just that?
[ROSSWEISSE] Listen, Azz-face,
you don't know true day drinkin'
until you've worked for Odin,
God of Ratty Beards
and chief abandoner!
[ROSSWEISSE sighs]
[ROSSWEISSE crying]
Don't you understand,
I can't get a boyfriend
'cause I have
abandonment issues,
you fool!
[AZAZEL]
You guys get going!
I'm sensing that we're headed
for downward spiral here.
[ROSSWEISSE crying]
You can sense that?
Wow, deep down you're not such
a stupid head after all, huh?
[AZAZEL] Thanks. Aw, crap.
That's on my tab.
[AZAZEL groans]
Barkeep, give me some more!
[MATSUDA] Snaps, Miss Rossweisse
can't hold her liquor.
[MOTOHAMA]
For reals, dog.
[KIRYUU]
Oh, here's a fun fact.
You shouldn't look behind you
until you've completely
crossed over
the Togetsukyo Bridge.
[MATSUDA]
Who cares?
[KIRYUU] You should,
because if you look back
you lose any knowledge you
may have previously received.
And since you didn't have
that much knowledge
to start with,
I'd hate to think about
what kind of state
that'd leave you in.
[MATSUDA/MOTOHAMA]
Shut your face!
[KIRYUU]
Here's another fun fact!
If a couple happens
to look back,
then their relationship
is doomed to fail.
I'll never look back, Issei.
I'll never look back!
[BOTH gasp]
[GROUP gasping]
[ISSEI] What is this?
Why is this fog so familiar?
[KIBA]
Dimension Lost!
The power of a Longinus.
Azazel has
mentioned it before.
[AZAZEL]
Kids! Are you all right?
I don't see anyone
else in the area.
It looks as though
everyone but us
has disappeared somewhere.
If I had to take an
extremely educated guess,
I'd say we've been forced
into another dimensional space.
No way.
[ISSEI]
What's wrong, Kunou?
When we investigated my
mother's disappearance,
they reported the same fog
right before she went missing.
Eff. Bad news bears.
[ISSEI gasps]
Oops, my bad.
Guess that was rude, huh?
Sorry.
Hello, Red Dragon.
♪
[ISSEI]
"Showdown!
Gremory Family vs.
Hero Faction in Kyoto."
04x03 - The Party of Heroes
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Set during the struggle among the devils, fallen angels, and angels, the story follows the adventures of Issei Hyodo.
Set during the struggle among the devils, fallen angels, and angels, the story follows the adventures of Issei Hyodo.