04x14 - Bookworm

[bunniefuu]

(Slow Chuckle)

Now I Got You
On The Run.

Protect Your Queen.

You Moved Pawn To King Four.

Hit Your Little Machine.

My Computer Says
I Should Counter Your Move

With Bishop To Knight Three.

Go Ahead.

Exactly What
I Wanted You To Do.

See, It's Your Dad's Mind

Against
That Machine.

Deal With It.

Rook To Bishop One.

My Friend, The Computer, Says
I Should Move Here, Which Means

That Would Be
Checkmate

Which Means That Would Be
Eight In A Row.

Ahh!!

Eight In A Row!

Theo And His Computer... Eight.

Dad And His Brain... Zilch.

Theo!

Theo!

Theo!

Theo, You Should
Get Packed, Honey.

We Told Sondra And Elvin
We Would Be There In An Hour.

Okay, Mom.

You May Be Able
To Use This, Dad.

What Are You Doing?

Just Sitting Around
Losing Everything.

We Have A Book Discussion
Group Tonight.

How Much Have You Read?

I've Read Through
The Basic Ideas.

In Our Discussion Group
We Don't Just Deal With Basics.

We Get Serious.

We Talk About Character,
Theme, Structure, Symbolism.

These Are Very Deep Discussions.

Okay, Well, Bring On The Deep.

I'm Ready For Deep.

What Happens When
We Discuss Something

You Haven't Read?

I Will Say,
"Does Anyone Want Some Coffee?"

Cliff, You're Not
Going To Fool Anybody.

Everyone Will Know
You're Unprepared.

This Is The First Time
Men Have Been Invited.

Please Don't Embarrass Yourself.

I'm Not Going To
Embarrass Myself.

I'm Going To Be So Good,
Those People Are Going To Think

I'm The Greatest Thing Ever.

They Will Ask Me To Set Up An
International Literary Society

With Me As The President.

When They Ask
About The Vice-President

I Won't Be Naming You.

Cliff, Read
The Book.

Dear...

Thank You.

Read The Book, Cliff.

Hey, Our First
Overnight Guests.

I Love This Place.

It Looks Better
Every Time I Come Here.

Glad You
Like It.

If I Lived Here,
I'd Party, Party, Party.

You Have To Walk Up
So Many Stairs.

When Are You
Getting An Elevator?

It's Only Five Flights.

You Get Used To It.

What If You Get Downstairs
And You Forgot Something?

It Depends On
Whether You Need It.

I Wouldn't Care What It Is.

I Wouldn't Come
Back Up Here.

Vanessa, You've Been Very Quiet.

Is Anything Wrong?

Do You Know
All Your Neighbors?

Most Of Them. Why?

When We Were Walking
Past The Second Floor

This Door Opened, And I Saw
This Eye Staring At Me.

I Said, "Hello"
And The Door Slammed Shut.

I Kept Walking,
And I Turned Around.

There Was The Eye Again.

I Could Feel Rays From It Going
Through The Back Of My Skull.

That's Mrs. Harris.

She's Very Sweet.

She's Just Shy Around Strangers.

Is She Human?

Of Course.

I Wanted To Make Sure
Because I Saw This Movie Once

And There Was This Old Woman
Who Lived In A House Like This.

All She Did
Was Stare Out Of Her Door.

Everyone Thought
She Was So Sweet

Until She Got A Hatchet
And Wiped Out Everybody.

Vanessa, Trust Us.

Mrs. Harris Would Never
Attack Us With A Hatchet.

She'd Be Too Tired
After She Walked Up

All Those Stairs.

Hi, Paula.

How Are You?

Hi, Cliff.

Sorry We're Late.

We Dropped Off The Kids.

Not Everybody's Here.

I'll Take Your Coats.

I Found
A Doctor For You--

Six-Foot-Two,
Brilliant, Sensitive

And Has His Own
X-Ray Equipment.

Whenever I See You, You Try
To Set Me Up With Somebody.

When Are You Going To Stop?

When You Get Married.

Shall I Take
Him Home?

No, He Can Stay.

Well, Why Don't We Go Inside

And Get Down In Deep
With The Literary Discussion?

We'll Do Our Best.

Come On In.

Hi, Everyone.

Hello.

This Is My
Husband, Cliff.

This Is Deborah.

This Is Sari.

This Is Elena.

Hi, Cliff.

Nice Meeting You.

So Where Are The Men--

In The Kitchen
Cooking Biscuits?

So Far You Are
The Only Man Here.

What Happened
To Everybody Else?

Ted Had
A Family Emergency.

What Happened?

His Cousin Got Two Tickets
For Tonight's Knicks Game.

Joel Stayed With The Baby.

What About Roger?

He Didn't Finish The Book.

We Don't Need To Put Up
With That Deadbeat, Do We?

Let's Give Everybody
A Few More Minutes To Arrive.

Cliff, Claire,
Something To Drink?

Orange Juice.

I Think I Will Have
The Usual Literary Drink--

A Cup Of Tea And
A Slice Of Cucumber.

Coming Right Up.

Cliff, Could I
Talk To You, Please?

Yeah.

I Am Sorry The Other Men
Didn't Show Up.

It's Not Fair.

You Should Make An Excuse
So You Can Slip Out.

No, That Wouldn't Be Right.

We Drove A Long Way,
And You Have Nice Friends.

I Know, But Soon We're Going
To Talk About The Book.

You Should Admit To Everyone
That You Haven't Read It.

No, I Can't Do That.

I'll Do What I Said Before.

I'll Say, "Anybody Want Coffee?"

(Doorbell)

Alex, Jean, Hello.

Hi, Claire.

Hi, Cliff.

Are Jerry And Gilbert
Parking The Cars?

No, Jerry Had To Work Late.

Gilbert Is Sick.

Okay.

Well, Does Anybody
Want Some Coffee

Or Is It Too Early?

Isn't Making
Our Own Pizzas Fun?

Mine's Ready.

A Pepperoni,
Hot Dog, Mushroom

Onion, Garlic
And Sardine Deluxe!

Ugh!!

Theo, You're A Pig!

Theo Can Be Anything
He Wants To Be.

He's Our Guest.

Thank You, Sondra.

And May I Say To Both Of You,
"Oink!"

Mine's Ready To Go.

Mine, Too.

I'm Hungry.

Let's Put Them
In The Oven.

We Can't Do That.

Why Not?

We Only Have A Toaster Oven.

We Can Only Cook
One At A Time.

Oh, Man.
You're Kidding?!

What Am I Supposed To Do,
Eat My Arm?

Come On Now, Everyone.

It Won't Hurt To Wait
A Little Bit For Dinner.

I Guess
You're Right.

I've Got An Idea.

While We're Waiting
For The Pizza

Let's Play Charades.

You Must Be Joking.

Elvin, We're Not
Middle-Aged People.

Let's Watch Tv.

Yeah, Tv.

Wouldn't You Rather
Expand Your Minds?

Isn't That Why
We Made Our Own Pizzas?

I'll Turn On The Television.

Elvin, There's Nothing On
Channel But Fuzz And Static.

We Don't Get Channel .

Channel
Works Real Well.

That's Not A Good Picture.

Everyone's Head
Is Waving Around.

Yeah. There's A Big Line
Down The Middle.

You Should Return It
To Where You Bought It.

I Didn't Buy It.

We Found It
On The Street.

It Needs A New Picture Tube

But They Stopped Making
This Model Years Ago.

Is My Pizza Ready?

No, Rudy,
It Will Take A While.

But Elvin Had
A Good Suggestion.

Let's Play Charades.

Do You Have
Other Games?

I Was Going To Save
This Until Later

But We Can
Do It Now.

How About We
Make Up Limericks?

Charades.
Charades.
Charades.

Charades.

Oh, Good.

This Will Be
So Much Fun.

Honey, You Go First.

Sure, Okay.

Windmill!

No, Rudy.

That Means He'll
Act Out A Movie Title.

Gone With The Windmill.

Try To Concentrate.

Man:
You Heard Me.

I'm Going Bowling!

Woman:
If You're Not HereWhen My Mother Comes

You'll Sleep On
The Fire Escape!

Man:
I'd Rather Freeze ThanLook At Your Mother!

Woman:
You Big, Dumb Slob.

You'll Pay For That!

(Door Slamming)

Who's That?

That's Burt And Agnes.
They Live Upstairs.

Do They Always Yell?

Only When They're Together.

Let's Get Back
To Charades.

We Were Just Starting
To Have Fun.

Go Ahead, Elvin.

Sounds Like...
Sounds Like...

(Loud Folk Music)

Somebody's Blasting
Their Stereo!

No, There's A Wedding Downstairs
At The Greek Restaurant.

Just Talk Louder.

What?!

Talk Louder!

Okay!

I Think This Book

Dares You To Be Intimate
With The Thematic Premise.

Yes, But Structurally,
It Pushes You Away.

It's Different Than
Last Week's Book

Although They're Both Written
In Second Person.

Too Many Contemporary Novels
Are Written That Way.

Second-Person Novels Are Usually
More Expressive To Me.

Would You
Listen To Us?

We're Leaving
Cliff Out.

No, I'm Enjoying Myself.

But We Want You
To Participate.

I Have Participated.

I Had Some Tea And Basil Leaf
Dipped In Garlic Sauce.

I'd Like A Man's Opinion
About The Book.

Well, I Thought It Was
Very Well Written.

She Means The Male Perspective.

Oh, The Male Perspective?

I Really Don't Feel
That You Should Look

Or Read A Book From The Male
Or Female Perspective.

I Think That It Ruins
The Whole Literary Outlook.

Good Point.

Good Point.

Ahem.

Absolutely.

One Shouldn't Be Limited
In One's Thinking.

Cliff?

What About
The Ring Motif?

The Ring Motif?

I Could Really Use
Some Coffee Right Now.

Cliff, Could You
Get It For Me?

Go Get It Yourself.

We're Having
A Discussion.

Don't You Think
It's A Good Time

For You To Have
Some Coffee?

We're Having
A Literary Discussion.

That's Why
We Came Here.

Now What Was
Your Question?

Did You Have Any Thoughts
About The Ring Motif?

The Ring Motif.

The Ring Motif.

Yes, I Heard
What She Said.

Well, I Thought
That The Ring Symbols

Showed The Boundaries
And The Limitations

That We Put
On Our Lives.

Very Nice Observation.

Where Did You
Feel That The Most?

Where Did I
Feel It The Most?

Yes, Cliff, Where Did
You Feel It The Most?

I Felt It The Most...

Um... In The Areas

Of The, Uh, Water Wheel
And... And The Circus.

And Then

Not As Obvious
As The Others

In The Description
Of The Silo.

The Silo.

I Didn't
Think Of That.

Well, You See,
It's Not That Obvious.

And One That Was Really
Almost Buried, I Felt

Was The Wine Barrel.

The Wine Barrel?

The Wine
Barrel

On Page .

I Think It's
The Second Paragraph, .

You Read
This Whole Book.

Isn't That The Whole Idea
Of This Meeting?

Cliff, I Want To Hear More.

I Felt That The Book
Made A Rather Bold Statement

In The Congresswoman And
Her Relationship With Arthur.

That Fascinated Me.

What Did You Think?

I Felt The Author
Seemed To Be Saying

That A Woman
Can Be Equal To A Man

But At
The Same Time

Can Fulfill A Subconscious Need
To Be Rescued.

And So

What I Felt About...

Ow!

Did You Say That A Woman Has

"A Subconscious Need
To Be Rescued"?

Rescued.

I Said "Rescued."

(Groaning)

Well, Attended, Then.

Attended...

Well, Liberated, Then.

We Got Liberated
And Equal.

There You Go.

Cliff, That's Worse.

Worse?

Yes.

Ahhh...

Oh, Well, You Know...

It's Like Women
And Other People.

There's Only
Two Kinds Of People--

Men And Women.

Okay...

Well, There's Children.

Cliff, You're Not Comparing
Women To Children, Are You?

Don't You Want
Some Coffee?

No, I Think We're
Much More Interested

In What You
Have To Say.

I Know I Am.

What Did You Mean By "Rescued"?

What I'm Saying
Is That Women...

Mm-Hmm?
Mm-Hmm?
Mm-Hmm?
Mm-Hmm?

...And Men Need
To Be Rescued.

I Need To Be
Rescued Right Now.

But I Need To Be Rescued
By A Big, Strong Woman...

Obviously, Because The One
Who Is Sitting Beside Me Now

Is Not Helping.

(Soft Jazz)

I Still Can't Believe
You Faked Me Out Like That.

Ha Ha Ha!

That Will Teach You To Doubt
My Intellectual Prowess.

I Was Impressed With Some Of
Your Thoughts On The Book.

Are You Saying That You
Are In Love With My Mind?

That's Exactly What I'm Saying.

In Fact, At This Moment,
I Am Quite Attracted To It.

Whew!

Would You Like To Have
More Of My Mind?

Yes.

I Feel That The Thematic Premise
Of Our Relationship

Is Filled With
Metaphoric Ironies.

Kiss Me,
You Literary Fool!

Oh, What A Night!

Why Are You Here?

They Didn't Have
A Great Time At Our Apartment.

You Can Say That Again.

Is It Okay If We
Turn The Music Off?

Go Ahead.

We Were Sitting In Here
Sharing Each Other's Minds.

You All Get Back
Over To Elvin's.

Please Let Us Stay.

We Love It Here.

Okay, What Happened?

You Couldn't
Hear Yourself Think.

People Were Yelling,
A Band Was Playing.

Then That Thing
Moved In The Corner.

What Thing?

Vanessa Swears
She Saw Something Move.

I Did!

It Was Alive
And Had Legs.

It's All Her Imagination.

It Was Not,
I Saw It.

The Apartment Got Cold,
So We Turned The Heat On.

It Got Hotter And Hotter.

I Opened The Window.

This Bag On The Sill
Blew Over Near Vanessa's Head.

Vanessa Started To Scream

And Woke Up
The Whole Neighborhood.

Then Vanessa

Swore She Saw A Woman
Coming Down The Hallway

With A Hatchet.

Vanessa, Take Your Sister
Upstairs And Put Her To Bed.

Thank You.

Good Night.

Theo:
Don't Let That
Hatchet Woman Get You.

Popcorn
Looks Good, Dad.

Are You Guys Watching
An Old Movie?

Having A Chat?

What Are You Doing?

Oh...

Should I Leave?

No, You Stay.

We'll Leave.

Good Night.

Elvin:
Good Night.

Dad, How Was
The Meeting Tonight?

Good Night, Dad.

Elvin, Help Yourself
To Some Popcorn--

Popped In A Brand-New
Hot-Air Popper

Bought In A Store.

It's Very Tasty.

Elvin, Listen.

No Burt And No Agnes.

Life Without The Loudmouths.

Check This Out.

No Waving Head.

Clear Channel.

You Got It.

Color, Too.

I Forgot They
Invented That.

Even Though I Don't Have
A Lot Right Now

I'm Sure Sondra Loves Me
More Than Anything In The World.

Why Do You Say That?

She'd Have To
To Give Up All This.