04x05 - Shakespeare

[bunniefuu]

Clair...

It's Past
: A.M., Dear.

So?

You Have To
Go To Work.

I Quit.

You're A Partner
In A Law Firm.

Hit It!

I'll Be
A Silent Partner.

Clair, Look Outside--
The Sunshine!

Look At This!

Ta-Dah!

The Birds Are Saying

"Clair, It's Your Day!

"Let's Make A Nest!

Let's Eat A Worm!"

Uh-Uh.

Tonight Would Be

A Perfect Night
For A Bar-Bee-Cue!

Cliff, No.

Come On,
You'd Love A Bar-Bee-Cue.

Every Time You Barbecue,
You Become A Man Possessed.

Any Food In The House
Goes On The Grill:

Hamburgers, Hot Dogs,
Tossed Salad, Macaroni

Strawberry Shortcake.

Nothing Enhances The Flavor
Of Strawberry Shortcake

Like The Smoke Going Through It
From The Barbecue.

How Could You Barbecue
On A Day Like Today?

It Is November
And Freezing Outside.

It Doesn't Make Any Difference.

Professor Foster Is
Coming From Hillman.

He Won't Want A Barbecue.

Are You Kidding?

He Loves It.

Denise Is Coming,
And We'll Barbecue Outside...

I'll Make A Bargain With You.

You Can Cook Outside

But We Have To Eat
Inside The House.

Okay.

Can We Eat On
Paper Plates?

Yes.

With Plastic
Knives And Forks?

You Got It.

All Right!

Bar-Bee-Cuuue!

Bar-Bee-Cuuue!

Hey!

This Is Something
I Like To See--

Open Books, Open Minds

And A Closed Refrigerator.

Hey, Dad.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Walter,
Want To Stay For Dinner?

Sure.
I'll Call Home.

A Young Man Should
Call His Parents For Permission.

He's Not Asking Permission.

He's Finding Out
What They're Having.

If Our Dinner Sounds Better

He'll Eat Here.

Uh, Walter...

Just Let Me Say
Three Words:

Bar-Bee-Cue!

I'm Eating Here.

I Hope We're Still Hungry
After Studying This.

What?

Shakespeare.

You Took That Last Year.

We Did, But He Reappeared.

History Class.

Shakespeare's Part Of History.

Dad, It's Not Fair.

Is He Literature Or History?

He Can't Be Both.

We're Studying
Ancient Rome.

We Have To Read
About Julius Caesar.

The Teacher Gave Us A Choice--

A Thick Book By Plutarch
Or Shakespeare's Julius Caesar

Which Is Much Thinner.

The Class Chose This.

They Didn't Know
Shakespeare Is A Drag To Read.

Wait A Minute.

Julius Caesar Is
Quite Interesting.

They Have Good Guys, Bad Guys...

And Isn't There A Car Chase?

I Wouldn't Know.

This Isn't Even
Written In English.

Well, Brighten Up, Fellas

Because Tonight's Meal Will Take
All Of Your Bad Thoughts Away.

What Are We Having?

I'm Going To Go Out.

I'm Going To Bar-Bee-Cue.

Then I'm Going To Make Something

That Goes Right Along
With What You Guys Are Studying.

Caesar Salad.

Vanessa,
Where's Mom?

She's In The Kitchen
With Dr. Foster.

But Don't Bother Them.

They're Talking.

I Don't Know How
To Spell "Forest".

I'll Tell You That.
F-O-R-E-S-T.

Good. That's What I Have.

What Are You Writing?

A Fairy Tale.

Can I Read It?

No.

Why Not?

Whatever I Show You

You Say It Is Wrong.

Let Me Read It.

I'll Only Say Nice Things.

Okay...

But I Only Have
Two Sentences

And They
Took Forever.

Well, The First
Sentences In A Story

Are The Most Important.

"The Beautiful Princess
And The Dragon."

Good Title.

I'm Already
Interested.

It Gets Better.

"Once Upon A Time

There Was A Beautiful Princess
Named Rudy."

You're
In It!

"She Lived In A Magic Forest

"Where There Was A Mean Dragon
Named Va...

Vanessa?"

Are You
Saying

You Think I'm A Dragon?

No.

Then Why Call It Vanessa?

I Couldn't Think Of
Another Name.

Rudy, You're Not Making Me
A Dragon.

I'll Write What I Want.

Show Me That

Before You Hand It In.

Maybe I Will...

Maybe I Won't.

Dr. Foster, I Have Married
A Strange Bird.

What's He Doing?

It Is Thirty Degrees Out.

He's Standing Over The Barbecue
Shivering

And Blowing In His Hands.

Let's Get Him Inside.

Are You Kidding?

Cliff Loves This Sort Of Thing.

The Wind Shifted
And Blew The Smoke In His Face.

Arrrrgh!

Clair:
How's It
Going?

"How's It Going?"

It's Going Fine
Is How It's Going.

It's A Perfect Night
For A Barbecue.

You Look Up And See
The Stars Twinkling.

Thirty Degrees,
Huh?

I'm So Excited
About The Barbecue

I Forgot How
Cold It Was.

I'm Sure That Dr. Foster's
Excited About It Also.

I'm Trembling With Anticipation.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Sweetie.

Hi, Dr. Foster.

Hello, Denise.
How Are You?

Fine.

I Haven't Seen You.

You Know What Hillman's Like--
Busy, Busy, Busy.

Denise, You Should
Take Dr. Foster's Class.

She Did.

She Did?
She Did?

Uh-Huh.

We Didn't
Know That.

She Was In Class
For Only One Day.

One Day?

One Day?

Uh-Huh.

Students Often Drop My Class

After They See
The Work Schedule.

You Mean A Certain Person

Who Will Remain Nameless,
But Is In This Room

Dropped Out Of Your Class?

After She Saw

The Work Schedule.

Uh-Huh.
Uh-Huh.

Dr. Foster's Class
Meets So Early

I Was Afraid
I'd Oversleep And Miss It

Because Of All My
Late-Night Studying.

Uh-Huh.

( Doorbell )

I Think
I'll Get That.

Stay In The Heat

While You're
In The Kitchen.

There's A Rumor Around Campus

That You're Thinking
Of Retiring.

I'm Considering It.

I Promise

I'll Stay Long Enough

For You To Take My Class.

Hey!

Hey, Dad!

This Is
Jonathan Lawrence.

My Son, Heathcliff.

Hello, Sir.

Nice To Meet You.

Russell,
Here's Your Dollar.

What's That For?

We Smelled Charcoal In The Air

So I Said, "Who Would Be
Daft Enough To Barbecue

In Thirty-Degree Weather?"

Okay.

I Said, "Only My Son."

I Didn't Believe Him,
So We Bet.

Give Me The Dollar
And Stay For Dinner.

We're Having Dinner
In The Village.

We're Going To The Blue Note
To Hear Some Jazz.

Well, Dr. Foster
Is In The Kitchen.

That's Smart--

Keeping A Doctor Around
When You Barbecue

In Bad
Weather.

No, This Is A Doctor
Of Literature At Hillman.

Jonathan Teaches
Drama At Columbia.

I Thought
They Should Meet.

You're
Kidding!

Please Stay For Dinner.

It's Fine With Me.

Jonathan?

I'll Accept.

Follow Me
To The Kitchen!

If We're Staying
For Dinner

I Should Go Out
And Get Some Dessert.

You Don't Have To.

It's Already
On The Barbecue.

This Is The Best
Indoor Barbecue

I've Ever Had.

Thank You, Sir.

Not A Bad Meal

For A
Dollar.

Dr. Lawrence,
You Teach Acting?

Yes, Along With
Theater History

And Directing.

Maybe I Should Become
A Drama Major.

You Still Must Take My Course.

Is Everybody
Ready For Dessert?

Count Me
And Cockroach Out.

Why?

We Have Homework.

Wait.

You Guys Are
Passing Up Dessert

To Do Your Homework?

We Have A Ton To Do.

Are You Showing Off Because
There Are Professors Here?

Oh, No.

What Are You Studying?

Shakespeare.
Shakespeare.

The Sonnets
Or The Plays?

The Play, Julius Caesar.

How Far Are You
Into The Play?

We're Up To
Where Those Senators

Are Ready To
Ambush Caesar.

Where Cassius Is Trying
To Recruit Brutus

To Plot Against Caesar?

Yeah.

Well, That's A Marvelous Scene!

The Senators Are Applauding
And Cheering Caesar

And Brutus Leans Over
To Cassius And Says

"Another General Shout?

"I Do Believe
That These Applauses

Are For Some New Honors
That Are Heaped On Caesar."

Hit It, Hit It!

Well, Then Cassius
Says To Brutus

"Why Man, He Doth
Bestride The Narrow World

"Like A Colossus

"And We Petty Men
Walk Under His Huge Legs

"And Peep About

"To Find Ourselves
Dishonorable Graves.

"Men At Some Time
Are Masters Of Their Fates.

"The Fault, Dear Brutus,
Is Not In Our Stars

"But In Ourselves

That We Are Underlings."

"Brutus And Caesar

"What Should Be In That Caesar?

"Why Should That Name
Be Sounded More Than Yours?

"Write Them Together,
Yours Is As Fair A Name;

"Sound Them, It Doth Become
The Mouth As Well

"Weigh Them

"It Is As Heavy.

"Conjure With Them

"Brutus Will Start A Spirit
As Soon As Caesar.

"Now, In The Name Of
All The Gods At Once

"Upon What Meat Doth
This, Our Caesar, Feed...

That He Has Grown So Great?"

Vanessa:
Yeah!

All Right.

All Right!

Yeah! Ha-Ha!

Dr. Lawrence, Do You
Remember Other Speeches?

Well, Caesar
Has A Speech

That I'm
Particularly Fond Of.

Caesar Spots
The Slim Cassius

One Of The Conspirators

And Says To His Friend
Antonius

"Let Me Have Men About Me
That Are Fat.

"Sleek-Headed Men, And
Such As Sleep-A-Nights...

"Yond Cassius Has
A Lean And Hungry Look.

"He Thinks Too Much.

"Such Men Are Dangerous."

"Fear Him Not, Caesar,
He's Not Dangerous.

"He Is A Noble Roman,
And Well-Given."

"Would He Were Fatter!
But I Fear Him Not.

"Yet If My Name
Were Liable To Fear

"I Do Not Know
The Man I Should Avoid

"So Soon As That Spare Cassius.

"He Reads Much,
He Is A Great Observer

"And He Looks Quite Through
The Deeds Of Men.

"He Loves No Plays,
As Thou Dost, Antony

"He Hears No Music.

"Seldom He Smiles...

"And Smiles In Such A Sort
As If He Mocked Himself

"And Scorned His Spirit

"That Could Be Moved
To Smile At Anything.

"Such Men As He Be
Never At Heart's Ease

"Whilst They Behold
A Greater Than Themselves

"Therefore Are They
Very Dangerous.

"I Rather Tell Thee
What Is To Be Feared

"Than What I Fear

For Always I Am Caesar."

Vanessa:
All Right,
Grandpa!

Yeah.

That's My Father.

Your Father
Can't Do That.

Oh, I'm Very Impressed.

It's Easy When You Have
Such Beautiful Language.

Shakespeare Was
No Mean Writer.

I'm A Writer, Too.

You Are?

Yes.

I Wrote A Fairy Tale

And It's Good.

I Would Like
To Read That.

Really?

Yes.

Let Us See

This Young Scribe's Work.

Young Rudith

Run Thither And Yon
To Thy Roometh

And Get Thy Writings And Bring
Them Downeth To The Meneth.

What?

Go To Your Room
And Get The Script.

Theo:
Grandpa,
When Did You

Learn Shakespeare?

When I Was Traveling
With The Jazz Caravan.

Here's My Story.

Dr. Lawrence:
Aha!

Now, I Have Seen

Original Manuscripts
By William Shakespeare

But I Want To Tell You

They Are Not
As Neat As This.

Can You Read It
Out Loud, Please?

It Would Be My Pleasure.

I'll Have To Seek
The Assistance

Of My Fellow
Thespians.

Would You Join Me?

I'll Be Happy To.

No, Cliff,
They Don't Need You.

Woman, Go Hide Thyself.

Ladies And Gentlemen

We Would Like To Present
The World Premiere

Of "The Beautiful Princess
And The Dragon"

By Rudy Lillian Huxtable.

Yay!
Yay!
Yay!

Whoo!

Once Upon A Time

There Was A Beautiful Princess
Named Rudy.

She Lived

In A Magic Forest

Where There Was A Dragon
Named Bud.

No.

No, No, That's Bud.

Bud.

That's It.

Thank You.

The Dragon Liked To Walk
Through The Forest

And He Would Say
To Everyone

"I Am Bud--

"Meanest Dragon In The World.

"I Breath Fire.

I Eat Anything That Moves."

( Grunting )

He Was A Scary Dragon.

One Day,
Princess Rudy Walked Up

To Her Flying Horse
Named Theo

And Theo Said

( Whinnying )

"Princess Rudy

"You Are The Loveliest
Princess In The Land.

Where Would You
Like To Fly Today?"

Princess Rudy Said

"Let Us Fly To Canada."

And Just Then,
Bud The Dragon--

Bud, The Dragon--

Jumped Out
From Behind A Tree.

"Princess Rudy, If You
Try To Leave The Forest

I'll Blow Fire On Your
Horse And Eat Him Up."

Barbecue!

Theo Tried To Fly Away

But The Dragon
Swallowed Him Whole.

( Whinnying )

Gulp, Gulp.

Princess Rudy
Was Afraid.

She Ran Into A Cave
Made Of Chocolate.

Bud Said

"Princess Rudy, Come Out
Or I'll Eat The Cave."

Princess Rudy Yelled

"Leave Me Alone, Bud.

Go Eat Your Feet."

Bud Huffed And Puffed And Said

"I'd Rather Eat Your Feet."

Princess Rudy Ran
And Opened The Back Door

But A Witch Was There
Named Vanessa.

You Made Me A Witch?

How Could You?

You Said You Didn't
Want To Be A Dragon.

I Don't Want
To Be A Witch.

Let Them Finish.

So Vanessa Said

"I Am Not A Bad Witch.

I'm A Good Witch."

All Right.

"I Have A Magic Wand,
And I Will Save You."

Then Vanessa
Hit Bud On The Nose

With Her Magic Wand.

"Ow!"

And When Bud
Opened His Mouth

Theo Flew Out.

The Dragon Ran Away.

Theo, Vanessa And Rudy
Flew To Canada

And Lived
Happily Ever After.

Denise:
Yeah!

Whoo!

Denise:
Bravo!

Bravo!

Denise:
Bravo!

Bravo!

That Does It For Me.

I'm Done.

What Do
You Mean?

What Did You Do?

We Had An Agreement.

You Were
Cleaning

The Barbecue

And I Was Taking Care
Of Everything Else.

All You Had To Do Was
Throw The Paper Plates Away.

I'm Going To The Living Room
To Watch An Old Movie.

What Old Movie?

Captain Blood
With Errol Flynn.

But Captain Blood
Is My Favorite Movie.

I Know.

I'll Tell You What.

I'll Leave Those Soaking

Because In The Morning
When I Come Down

The Little Bubbles
Will Have Eaten The Grease.

Like On The Commercials--

The Little Bubbles
Go Eat The Grease.

I'll Watch The Movie With You.

And In The Morning

I'll Find That Nasty Thing
Floating In The Grungy Water.

No, Thank You.

Okay.

You Know, I, Uh...

I Thought That A Marriage...

Was, Uh, Something
That Was Sharing, You Know?

But, Um, It Seems Like
That Isn't What It Is

So, I'll Just Go Back Here
And Scrub These Up.

Do You Promise Me That
You Will Wash That Thing

First Thing Tomorrow Morning?

First Thing In The Morning.

After The Bubbles
Eat The Grease.

Okay, Let's Watch The Movie.

Wait,
Wait, Wait!

This Is A Marriage.

We're Sharing.

This Is Marriage.

Sharing.
Sharing.

Sharing.
Marriage.

Hey.

How Was The Studying?

We're Done.

After What
We Heard Tonight

Shakespeare
Made Some Sense.

We've Made It
Make More Sense.

How?

We Practiced
Marc Antony's Speech--

"Friends, Romans,
Countrymen."

Want To Hear?

Well, Go With On It.

( Imitating Trumpet )

( Rap Music )

♪ I Say Friends ♪

♪ Let Me
Hold Your Ears ♪

♪ And Romans ♪

♪ Let Me
Hold Your Ears ♪

Theo:
♪ Say Countrymen ♪

♪ I'm Marcus Antonius;
They Call Me Marc ♪

♪ I Didn't Come To Bite,
But To Bark ♪

♪ About The Holes ♪

♪ The Brothers Put
In Julius C.-- ♪

♪ It Was Cool With Me ♪

♪ Brutus Knew
What He Was Doin' ♪

♪ Caesar Was Running
Rome To Ruin ♪

♪ 'Cause Brutus
Is Cool ♪

♪ Caesar Romanized
The World ♪

♪ And Put Bronze
In The Palm ♪

♪ Of Every Boy
And Girl ♪

♪ But When They
Handed Him The Crown ♪

♪ He Turned
The Crown Down ♪

♪ Brutus Said Caesar
Was Into Greed ♪

♪ That's How
He Justified ♪

♪ The Ides
Of March Deed ♪

♪ But Brutus Is Cool ♪

♪ I Say Chill, Homeboy ♪

♪ My's Heart's
With Dr. J. ♪

♪ Let's Get Busy
Till It Comes This Way ♪

♪ Doc, Go Sing It ♪

♪ To The Bridge! ♪

♪ Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam ♪

♪ Doo Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo ♪

♪ Now The Last
Little Caesar Scene ♪

♪ Before Homeboy Blew ♪

♪ Was To Drop
Some Old Gold ♪

♪ On Each One Of You ♪

♪ J.C. Was Your Father ♪

♪ J.C. Was
Your Brother ♪

♪ When Comes
Such Another? ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ He's The Most ♪

♪ From Coast To Coast ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪