04x04 - Cliff's Mistake

[bunniefuu]

I'm Going To The Novelty Shop

To Get Some Things
For Rudy's Haunted House Party.

What Are You Getting?

Well, I Don't Know

But You Know, I Am
The Master Of Fright.

You Just Remember
That They're Children.

No, I'll Take It Easy On Them.

( Ominous Laughter )

Oh, Jeffrey Engels Called.

He's Coming Over In An Hour.

If He Comes And I'm Not Here,
Ask Him To Wait.

He's Bringing Beth
To Help Decorate The House.

He Also Wants
That Drill You Borrowed.

Oh, Man, I Forgot
I Had That.

You've Had It For A Month.

I've Had It That Long?

You Wanted To Put A New Shelf
Under The Sink.

Your Drill Was Broken,
So You Borrowed Jeffrey's.

The Shelf Still Is Unfinished.

Oh, But Wait A Minute,
It's Almost Finished.

Check It Out.

Halfway Home.

I Don't Mean To Criticize

But We're "Halfway Home"
On A Lot Of Projects.

You Have A Habit Of Starting
These Things With Enthusiasm

But You Don't Finish.

That's Because Every Time
I Start A Project

A Pregnant Woman Calls
With Labor Pains

And I Have To Stop
And Go To The Hospital.

When Will You Finish?

When I Retire.

Please Retire This Evening

Because You'll Need The Rest
Of Your Life To Finish

All These Projects.

If It Makes
You Happy

I'll Finish The Shelves Today.

That Would Make Me Very Happy.

If You Allow Me, I'll Also
Give You A Dish-Towel Rack.

The Shelf Will Do.

All Right, Then I Shall Go Down
And Do The Novelty Shopping

And I Will Also--

Madame--

If You
Don't Mind

Pick Up A New Drill For Myself.

Fine.

And Maybe A Forklift Truck.

When Can I Open My Eyes?

Just A Minute.

Ooh, What Is It?

Eyeballs.

Eww!

Hah! Got You.

They're Just Grapes.

What's Going On?

We're Making A Haunted House.

Our Friends Are Going
Through It Later.

You Should See
The Coffin I Made.

It's Unbelievable.

Aren't You Too Old For This?

It Sounds Immature.

We Were Thinking
You Could Be The Mummy.

The Mummy?

Yeah.

You Get All Wrapped Up
In Bandages.

Then You Walk Around
Like A Zombie.

If You Want,
You Can Even Grab People.

Oh, Wow!

All Right, I'm In.

Rudy, What Are
You Going To Be?

A Witch.

She Has To Be A Witch.

She's A Woman.

What's That Supposed To Mean?

My Brother Says Women Can Only
Be Witches And Princesses.

I Don't Care
What Your Brother Says.

I Can Be Anything I Want.

I Can Be Frankenstein.

Frankenstein Was A Man.

You Can Only Be His Wife

And She
Was Ugly.

Well, Hello,
Goblins And Goblinettes.

Hey, Dad, Check
This Out.

When You Get To
The Bottom Of The Stairs

It Flies In Your Face.

This Will Be Some Haunted House.

I'm The Mummy.

I Get To Grab People.

Wonderful.

I Think That

Combined With The Things I Just
Bought From The Novelty Store

We'll Have To Open This House
To The Public And Charge.

What Did You Get?

Here It Is.

( Scary Noises )

It's Not Very Big, Dad.

You Don't Want It Too Big,
Or People Will Know It's Fake.

Hah, Ya!

Ohhh!

Eee! Jigeee!

What Else Did You Get?

Okay.

Stand Back, Now.

You Ready?

Let's Say That You're
Walking Down A Dark Street...

( Humming )

Eee!

Ahhhh!

Waggy, Waggy, Waggy.

Bite, Bite, Bite.

Bitey,
Bitey.

Let's See What Else
You've Got Here.

Hey, This Is Great.

A Power Drill.

We Could Really Scare Kids
With This.

Oh, Wow!
Oh, Wow!

A Real Drill!

That's Not For You.

The Power Drill
Is For Me.

You People Are Sickos.

How You Doing,
Beth?

How You Doing,
Jeff?

Hey, Neighbor.

All Right.

One Skeleton
Reporting For Duty.

And A Beautiful Skeleton She Is.

What's In The Bowl?

Something For The Haunted House.

Say What It Is.

Brains.

Want To Touch?

Well, Brains,
My Goodness.

Did You Buy These,
Or Was It A Gift?

Neither.

They're Really Wet Noodles.

Ohhh, Wet Noodles!

Ohhh!

Now I Have
Something

For You, Too.

Try This On For Size.

Prepare Yourself.

( Scary Noises )

Very Funny, Dr. Huxtable.

Rudy's In The Basement If
You'd Like To Go Down There.

Okay.

Bye, Dad.

Have Fun.

Want To Take These Home,
Scare Your Wife?

That's Great.

Great.

Oh, It's That
Time Of Year.

I Just Need To Get
One More Thing Before I Go.

Your Drill.

Yeah, I'm Finally

Building That Bird Feeder.

You Need A Drill
For That.

And I Think I Have It
In My Tool Chest.

And I'm Sorry
To Have Kept It So Long.

Don't Mention It,
My Dear Fellow.

It's A Great Drill.

Yes, It Is.

Did You Like

That Variable Speed Action?

Fantastic.

And That Non-Slip Handle?

Loved It.

Nice Toolbox.

Yes, It Has
Three Different Trays.

Fabulous.

Yep.

You Have A Secret Drawer There?

No.

It Isn't Here

But I Think Wherever
My Last Project Was...

Follow Me.

I Was Working On Some
Stuff In The Kitchen

And I Think I Left It
Under The Sink.

I Bet It's
Hiding

Because It Knows
I Have Work For It.

This Is My Last Project Here
I Was Working On.

These Brackets, Your Drill.

Beautiful.

Would You Like A Drink?

No, Thanks.

I'll Just Take My Drill
And Go.

Okay, Fine.

I Know That It's Here...

Somewhere

Because A Drill
Just Can't Walk By Itself.

Well, This Particular Drill
Does Do Almost Everything.

Just Look In Here.

Is That It?

No.

No, That's Not It.

What's That Over There?

Darkness.

You Don't Need Me

Breathing Down Your Neck Here.

I Have To Go To
The Hardware Store.

I'll Come Back
At : .

Okay, And Then I'll Have It
Polished For You.

Fantastic.

Yeah, Good. Good.

Okay, I'll Let Myself Out.

All Right.

See You Later.

Waggy, Waggy.

Okay, You Guys,
Come On.

Remember, We Want This To
Sound Like A Haunted House.

Okay.

The Microphone Is Right Here.

( Wind Whistling )

( Wind Whistling )

( Wicked Laughter )

( Cackling Laughter )

( Howling )

( Groaning )

( Screaming )

That Was Pretty Good.

Let's Do It Again And
Put Our Hearts In It.

Okay.
Okay.

Cliff:
You Guys
Down There?

It's Dad.

Let's Get Him.

( Wind Whistling )

( Wind Whistling )

( Wicked Laughter )

( Cackling Laughter )

( Moaning )

( Screaming )

( Groaning )

( Moaning )

( Snarling )

We Got You, Dad.

Yes, You Got Me.

I'm Looking For
An Old Power Drill.

Is It Daddy's Drill?

Yes.

Did You Lose It?

No, I Didn't Lose It.

It's Just Misplaced.

We Can
Help You Look.

Okay, It's About
This Size, It's Grey

And There's A Box
Of Drill Bits.

Okay.

Okay, Thank You.

My Daddy

Really Likes That Drill.

He Has Every Right To.

He Keeps It In A Special Drawer
Marked "Drill."

That's A Very Good Idea.

It Was My Grandpa's.

He Gave It To My Dad
Before He Died.

Mm-Hmm.

I Guess The Drill Drawer

Will Be
Empty Now.

Yeah, Uh, Why Don't You
Go Check On Your Noodles?

Okay.

Dad, Look At This.

I Found My Old
Baseball Cleats.

I'm Happy For You, But I'd Like
You To Concentrate On The Drill.

Okay.
Where Did You Last Use It?

I Don't Remember.

You Don't Remember
Using A Big Drill?

Son, That's Not The Issue Here.

The Issue Is Find The Drill.

Okay.

Thank You.

It's Not By
The Noodles.

Yeah, Okay.

Dr. Huxtable?

Yes, Ma'am.

If You Don't Find It

Are You
Going To Cry?

No, No, I Won't Cry.

I Bet My Dad Will.

You Still Haven't Found It?

No.

Will You Keep Looking?

I Am Looking.

I'm At
That Age

Where I'm Thinking About
The Places I've Already Looked

Because I'm Not Going
Back There.

Why Not?

Because I'd Be Embarrassed

If I Saw It Someplace
I Had Already Looked.

I've Been Everywhere
You've Been.

I Haven't Found It Either.

You're At That Age, Too.

Come And
Sit Down.

( Doorbell )

It's : , Cliff.

That's
Jeffrey.

Honey, Just Tell Him
What Happened.

So You Made A Mistake.

Everybody
Makes Mistakes.

He'll Understand

Because He's Your Friend,
And He's A Nice Person

And He
Likes You.

Why Would A Drill Be
In My Makeup Kit?

I Don't Know What You Use

To Put That Stuff On.

Hey.

Hey.

How Was
The Hardware Store?

I Got Dowels And Wood Putty.

Now All I Need Is My Drill.

Jeffrey...

Yeah?

I Can't Return Your Drill.

Why Not?

I Lost It.

What?

I've Looked All Over This House
Three Times.

My Wife Looked,
The Children Looked

Beth Looked.

It's Gone.

Did You Lend It To Someone?

No, It's Just Gone.

It's Gone?

I'm Really Sorry.

I Feel Terrible About It.

I Don't Feel So Good Myself.

I'm Going To Sit Down.

I'll Get Over It.

It's Not
A Big Deal.

It Was Just
A Drill--

A Piece Of Metal
With A Motor In It.

See, It Was My Father's Drill.

It Has A Lot Of
Sentimental Value To Me.

Every Time
I Used It

It Was As If I Could Smell

My Father's
Pipe.

Don't Go Anywhere.

I'll Be Right Back.

There You Are.

There You Are.

That's Not My Drill.

No, Of Course Not.

This Is A New One.

I Bought This.

There You Go.

See, I'm Just Trying
To Understand This.

How Can You Lose
Something Like A Drill?

It's Not Like
A Button.

This Is A Major
Electrical Appliance.

I Was Just Saying To Bridget:

"If There Is One Man
Who I Can Trust With My Drill

"It's Cliff.

He Delivered
Our Children."

And It Wasn't Cheap Either.

You Know

My Father Said To Me:

"If You Lend Something
To Someone

"Watch Them
While They're Using It

And When They're Finished,
Take It Back."

I Wish

I'd Listened To Him.

What Can I Say?

I'll Never Lend You
Anything Again.

I Understand.

And By The Way,
Don't Lose My Daughter.

Thank You, Clair.

Yes?

Uh-Huh.

You Said He'd Understand.

That's Right.

I Said To The Man:

"I Lost It.

We Looked Three Times."

The Man Sat There And Told Me
That I Overcharged Him

For Delivering
His Babies.

I Bought A Brand-New Drill

Which Is Ten Times Better
Than His.

That Drill I Offered Him,
Compared To His Drill...

His Drill Is A Woodpecker.

You Can Understand
Why He's So Angry.

No.

Yes, You Can.

All I'll Say Is
"Edward Bolton."

It's Not The Same.

The Only Difference Is
You Lost A Drill.

Eddie Lost Your Barbecue
On A Camping Trip.

And That Barbecue
Was Very, Very Special.

It Was So Old
You Had To Line It With Foil

To Keep The Coals
From Falling Out.

When He Bought You
A New Barbecue--

Complete With Rotisserie--

You Opened The Front Door
And Threw It Out.

That Was The Saddest Display
I've Ever Seen.

It Would Have Gone Farther If
I Hadn't Hit My Car With It.

But You Know,
You're Not Perfect.

Excuse Me?

Ladies And Gentlemen
Of The Jury

I Ask You To Look At My Wife

And Ask Her
About Judith Harwood.

Waah!

My Wife And Judith Harwood
Were Like This.

All Day On The Phone...

"And Dear..."

"I'll Be There..."

That's How Tight
They Were.

One Day, Judith Got The Flu.

My Wife Rushed Downstairs
And Cooked A Meal For Her

And Put The Food
Into These Plastic Containers

Which Must Cost All Of $ . ...

...And For The Next Six Months

Harassed Judith

Until Judith Had To
Go See A Psychiatrist.

And Finally

Judith Sent Over New Plastic
Containers Worth About $ .

My Wife Took The Containers,
Put Them In The Driveway

Backed The Car Up

Rolled
Over Them

Went Forward

Rolled Over Them Forward

Then Put Them In A Box

And Sent Them Back
To Judith Harwood.

Ladies And Gentlemen,
I Ask You

Is This Woman Guilty?

Yes, I'm Guilty.

Hah!

Your Friendship With Jeffrey

Shouldn't End Over This.

You Should Wait Until Christmas

And Buy Him A New Drill
As A Gift.

Christmas... Christmas...

That's It.

That's It!

What Is Wrong With You?

Cliff!

Cliff...

Ba-Da-Ta-Dah!

Rrrrrrr...
Pa-Banggg!

Now..!

Now...
Jeffrey's Drill.

That Is Correct.

You Said, "Christmas."

I Hid This From The Children
So They Wouldn't Fool With It.

Knowing How They Hate To
Put Up Christmas Lights

I Wrote
"Christmas Lights"

On It So It
Would Repel.

They'd Be Gone.

So, Now
I've Got It.

I'm So Smart,
I'm Smarter Than Me.

Yes, You Are,
And I'm Happy For You.

Thank You.

There's A Lesson
To Be Learned Here.

Oh, Lord.

"There's A Lesson
To Be Learned Here."

When You Hide Things
From Other People

You Are Really Hiding It
From Yourself

Because At Your Age,
Your Memory Can't Take It.

( Knocking )

Come In.

Pedro.

You've Come For
The Haunted House.

Yes.

This Way.

Have A Good Time,
Peter.

Entrez-Vous.

Au Revoir.

Clair.

Yes?

There's A Man On This Block

Who's Been Suffering
A Long Time Because Of A Loss.

I'm Going To
Relieve That Suffering Now.

( Scary Noises )