01x01 - First Delivery/Chore or Less

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Once there was a captain ♪

♪ He was a serious dude ♪

♪ Well, he crashed into a mountain ♪

♪ But man, it lightened the mood ♪

♪ Speaking of lightening the mood ♪

♪ Speaking of thunderous joy ♪

♪ In comes Parker J., a rain cloud ♪

♪ Looking for new employ ♪

♪ The beardful captain said, "Hey!" ♪

♪ The cheerful rain cloud said, "Hi!" ♪

♪ They started working together ♪

♪ What a magical sight! ♪

♪ The Middlemost Post ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ The Middlemost Post ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[jaunty music]

- Special delivery from the Middlemost Post!

- That was my last shuttlecock.

- No worries! I gotcha.

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo, that tickles.

Those lessons are really paying off, Tina.

Nice backstroke, Todd.

- Tick-tock, Parker.

- Sorry, duty calls.

[twangy country music]

[mischievous music]

- Let's get at it.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- Oof.

- Sorry, kiddo. I got carried away.

- It's okay, Angus.

It's a lot roomier in here than it looks.

Cool, a spider!

Ouch, a spider!

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

It's time to bring the mail!

[exciting music]

Who wants a package? And free T-shirts!

- Thanks, Parker.

- Hey, no problem, Reggie.

Say hello to your mom for me.

all: We will, Parker.

- That gives me the chicken skin each and every time.

[chicken clucking]

[suspenseful music]

Ow! Oh, ya dummy, Angus.

[Russell whinnies]

What's the hold-up, girl?

- I'll deliver it!

- Well, I'll be.

This address hasn't seen a lick of mail since--

since Russell started licking the mail!

- Poor person probably thinks that no one cares about them.

At least not enough to send a letter and say hello.

- Levi Alone.

Hmm, that sounds like a man who wants to be left alone.

I can respect that.

Deliver away, Parker.

- Ahh!

It was like that when I got here!

- Oh, looks like we'll have to hand deliver the letter.

- Hand deliver? That's the best del--

[grunting]

Hmm.

I jarred it loose.

- That you did, buddy.

[foreboding music]

♪ ♪

Well, let's get at it.

Whoa!

- Whatcha doing up here? The front door is that way.

- I know, Parker. I stepped on some sort of trap.

- I'll cut you down.

- Parker, don't--

[yells]

What--what happened?

- Good morning, sunshine.

Don't worry, we got all those pesky cactus needles

out of your bum.

But Russell couldn't suck out

all the poison in time.

- Poison?

Cactus needles aren't poisonous.

- Does your butt know that?

- My rumpus!

The sooner we're out of here, the better.

Let's get this letter delivered.

[bird screeches]

- What if there's more booty traps?

- I think you mean booby traps.

- No, I mean booty traps. [both laughing]

- Come on, let's go.

- Angus! It's a booty trap!

- Yeah, yeah, I got the joke the first time, Parker.

B-b-booty trap!

- We'll save you, Angus!

[heroic music]

Hold on, buddy. Don't let go.

I said, "Don't let go!"

[gasps]

Angus?

We gotta save him, Russell!

[upbeat synth music]

♪ ♪

[falling whistling tone]

Good news. I found two of your four teeth.

- Remember when I said I respect a man

who wants to be left alone?

Well, I changed my mind.

Mr. Levi Alone.

He's a real jerkface!

- We'll still gonna deliver his letter though, right?

- Of course we are. It's what we do.

I've never missed a single delivery in my entire life,

and I'm not about to start now.

No way, no how.

- Great, because it'd be awfully sad

if Mr. Alone never knew that

someone took the time to write him a letter.

- Um, yeah. That, too, I guess.

[grunting]

- Why don't you sit this one out, big guy.

Russell and I got this.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Careful, you two.

- I can't wait to see the look on Mr. Alone's face

when he gets his first ever letter.

- Trust nothing and no one.

- Think he's gonna hug us? He's probably gonna hug us.

Just be ready for a hug. That's all I'm saying.

- Parker, once you deliver the letter,

turn and high tail it outta there.

- Almost there, Russell. The big moment. I'm so excited!

We failed, Angus!

[crash]

[grunting]

[stirring rock music]

♪ ♪

- The Middlemost Post

delivers the mail without any fail,

and no one messes with my little nimbus

and gets away with it!

You hear me, Mr. Levi Alone?

- I heard ya, Angus.

Let's do this.

♪ ♪

both: Let's still do this!

- Whoa! Oh!

[lively orchestral music]

[stirring rock music]

♪ ♪

- Hyah!

[laughing]

We did it, Parker.

- Yes! Whoo-hoo!

- Oh, no. The letter.

- [chuckles]

- Aw, cripes.

[yelling]

Yup. That hurt.

[groaning]

[thud]

- Angus? Angus? Are you okay?

- [coughs]

I got nothing left, kiddo.

The t*nk's on "E."

If that letter is gonna be delivered,

it's gotta be all you.

[groans]

- I'll finish the job, Angus. I promise.

You were the best boss a cloud could ever have.

Go in peace, dear friend.

[somber music]

- Parker, I'm not dying. I'm just pooped as all heck.

- Oh, right. [chuckles]

I knew that.

These tears are, you know, not even real.

Levi Alone!

I've got a letter with your name on it,

and you're gonna get that letter

because people care about you!

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

- The little nimbus is doing it!

- Huh! Hiyah!

I did it!

- Parker!

- [grunting] You've got mail.

- "Dear Mr. Alone, I hope this letter brightens your day!

Love, Parker J. Cloud."

- What?

Parker, you wrote the letter?

We went through all of this because of you?

Why?

- I wanted Mr. Alone to know that

he doesn't have to be alone.

[sniffling]

- You did a good thing, Parker. A real good thing.

[heartwarming music]

- If I did a good thing, then why does it feel so bad?

- Eh, you can't win every fight.

That's just the way it is.

- Yeah. [sniffles]

You lost a lot of fights today.

- I wouldn't say a lot.

- Right, you lost all the fights today.

- Parker, I think you're missing my point.

Hmm, that's strange.

Parker, this letter's addressed to you!

- A letter? Just for me? Wonder what it says.

"Dear Cloud, looking forward to our next romp.

Don't forget to bring the mail. Signed, Levi Alone"?

Angus, he wrote me back. He wants to be friends.

[gasps] We could be pen pals.

We could do this every day,

and he'll never have to feel lonely again!

- Parker, I don't think that's a good i--

[yelling]

- Let's get started on that letter

so we can do it all over again tomorrow.

Hyah! [Russel whinnies]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Okay, to recap our crew meeting,

this week, we're gonna focus on delivering the mail,

delivering the mail well,

and making sure we deliver the mail well.

- Yes, sir, Captain Sir!

- Okay then, any new business?

- Russell ate a weird bug yesterday.

Eeet sounded like deees.

[muffled shouting]

- Noted.

I have new business,

and it's about chores.

- Chores?

- This is a list of chores I do around the ship.

- [yells] Run for your lives!

- As you can see... [chuckles]

It's quite a bit. [both gasp]

- Oh, it's happening, Russell!

- I think it's time we add your name right next to mine.

- Angus, it would be an honor and a privilege

to join you in the chores.

Can I start now?

- I'd be a fool to say no.

- Yes!

- I'm gonna head into town.

You two get to it.

What a kid.

- Let's do this!

[thunder booms]

♪ Rinsing the dishes! ♪

[lively music]

Time to air dry!

[dishes shattering]

Why?

[grunting]

- [laughing]

- [humming]

[gasps] It's Angus!

Quick, let's get this all done.

Oh, he is gonna be so impressed.

♪ ♪

- Huh?

- All done with the chores, Angus.

- Wow, you really did it, Parker.

The floors are polished, the clutter is gone, and--

how come Russell's green?

[lively music]

[both yell]

- Don't worry, I'll clean it up.

- Hmm.

Hmm?

What?

- Make way, coming through.

- Crew meeting!

- I'm sorry I let you down, Angus.

Am I gonna lose my chore privileges?

- Of course not. This is not your fault.

If anyone is to blame, it's your old pal Angus.

- But I'm the one who washed your underwear

in Russell's water bowl.

- That's not-- wait, you did what?

- Who? What? Nothing.

- Ah, you don't know what you don't know,

and there's a lot you still don't know.

- I don't know what you mean.

- Parker, I'm gonna show you

how to do the chores

like I should've done in the first place.

- Me and you?

Doing chores? Together?

- How's that sound?

Ah, I take it you like this idea.

A bed is not made correctly

until you can bounce a coin off it.

[inquisitive music]

Some people go counter-clockwise

when they dust.

Those people are wrong.

If I could, I'd punch rust right in the face!

Now this is what I call the steps

to a properly folded flannel. Let's talk staining.

Just because you flushed it, don't mean it's gone.

Soap scum. Where does it come from?

Different nozzle settings on your average spray bottle.

Hmm, empty.

We'll need to go to the store.

- Oh, I'll go!

[both grunting]

- Great. Okay, now where were we?

Oh yeah, nozzles.

- Angus said, "You don't know what you don't know."

Boy was he right.

I didn't know chores were so boring.

- Of course they're boring, Parker.

They're chores.

- But Angus loves chores.

He even whistles while doing them.

I wanna love chores as much as Angus, but I don't.

- Does Angus know this?

- No, but I think I should tell him the truth

before he finds out from somebody else.

- That you don't want to do chores anymore.

- It's gonna break the big guy's heart.

- You're very brave, Parker.

- I know, Lily. I know.

- What do you mean "chores aren't your jam"?

- It's just probably best

if we go back to the way it was.

- Oh, you mean when I was doing all the chores by myself.

- Exactly.

That way, I won't have to feel like

I'm disappointing you anymore,

and it's, you know, it's a win-win.

- A win-win, huh? Well, how do I win?

- You get to do all the chores, and you love chores.

- Parker, I don't love chores.

- You don't? - No, not one bit.

- Then you should just stop doing them, Angus.

Then we can not do chores together.

- Great idea. Nobody does chores.

Oh, getting rid of chores will free up my day.

I can add that second nap I've always talked about.

- Wow, thanks for being so understanding, Angus.

- No, thank you.

I look forward to not doing chores with you.

- Me too.

- You see, Russell, this is what you call

a teachable moment.

I give the kid one day

before Parker realizes the importance of chores.

[foghorn blaring]

- [whinnies]

- Okay, so it's taken a little longer than expected,

but the kid's gonna cr*ck, trust me.

- [humming]

- [roars] - Fine, I'll say something.

But for the record, I'm doing it under protest.

Parker, we need to talk.

- Sure thing, Angus. Just let me put my dishes away.

- No, Parker.

- Fine.

Yah!

[rumbling] [wood creaking]

Is it just me, or does the ship sound funny?

- Mayday! - Whoa!

[both yelling]

[crowd clamoring]

- What is this?

Why are they gathering about?

Is this an uprising, Ryan?

- No, mayor, look.

It's the Middlemost Po--

- It's that stupid ship!

It's falling from the mountain!

Finally, we'll be free from that wretched--

[grunting]

- Abandon ship!

- The crew of the Middlemost Post

does not abandon ship.

- Is it because women and children go first,

and you're neither of those two?

- No.

All we have to do is get the old girl balanced out.

Which means--

- Me, Russell, and this bathtub

should go to the other side. [Russell whines]

On it!

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I take it back! Abandon ship!

[both yelling]

- Uh, guess we need a little more on the other side.

[both yelling]

- Yes, yes, the sun!

No! Yes! [groans]

I hate that ship so much, Ryan.

- I know you do, sir. I know.

- [yelling]

Oof! Whoa!

[Angus yells]

[all yelling]

Man overboard!

What have I done, Russell? We've lost Angus.

This is it. We're going down.

Why does down feel like up?

- Parker! - [gasps]

Parker! - Yes?

- Parker!

- Angus, you saved us!

- [grunts] I can't hold her up forever.

If she goes, she'll head straight for the city.

[crowd cheering]

- You can do it, Angus!

- No, he can't!

- Parker, I can't do this without your help, buddy.

- Tell me what to do. I'll do it.

- There's only one thing we can do,

but they're not your jam, and I have to respect that.

- You mean chores? Sure, they're not my jam.

Doesn't mean I can't try.

We have to save the Middlemost Post,

and if that means doing boring chores, then chores it is!

Ready, Russell?

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- [grunting]

- Hurry, Parker.

I can't hold it for long.

♪ ♪

- Yeah!

- [grunting]

- Okay, rust! It's just you and me now.

[yells]

- [screams]

- [grunting]

Don't quit on me now, pants!

Hold strong!

Parker, hurry!

♪ ♪

Parker!

- This is getting good, Ryan.

[elephant trumpets]

[choir vocalizing]

[crowd clamoring]

- Yikes.

- [laughs]

Look everyone, it's a full moon!

- Boo!

- Ryan, nobody laughed at my funny.

- Maybe they didn't hear you, sir.

- They heard me, Ryan.

They all heard me.

- [grunting]

- The chores are all done, Angus.

Every last one of them. You can let go now.

- You did them all? - Yup!

I can't promise I did them all

the way you taught me, but I tried my best.

- Well, that's all I could ask for.

[tense music]

[sighs] You did it, kiddo.

Now you see why these chores need to get done.

If they're not, things can get, well, pretty messy.

- Yup, people can lose their pants.

- What'd I tell you? Teachable moment.

- [chitters]

- Well, that was stupid. - Agreed, mayor.

- Not to mention anticlimactic.

- I mean, you call that an ending?

- [yelps]

- Sir?

[whimsical music]

♪ ♪