03x17 - Calling Doctor Huxtable

[bunniefuu]

Pardon Me, Ma'am,
Have You Seen My Daughter?

Where Did You Get That?

What?

You Couldn't Wait

To Get Denise's Wigs
From Her Closet.

You Love It Now That
She's Away At College.

Yeah.

So What's So Funny?

Tommy Turtle.

He's Hilarious.

Oh, Really?

What's So Hilarious?

He Lives In A Swamp.

Ah, Yeah, Well...

He Was Having A Picnic,
And Got Stuck In The Mud.

Well, That Is Funny.

That's Not The Funny Part.

Oh, I'm Sorry.

Alan The Alligator
Steps On His Head.

That Is Funny.

That's Not
The Funny Part, Either.

I'm Sorry. It Isn't?

The Funny Part Is
Tommy Turtle Says:

"Hey, You, I Could Have
Done That Myself."

( Ring )

( Ring )

Huxtable Residence.

Yes, Mrs. Gregory.

How Far Apart Are They?

Okay, I'm On My Way Over.

All Right. Bye-Bye.

♪ On My Way To The Hospital ♪

Have A Good Baby.

Get It?

Who Made That Up?

I Made It Up.

Oh.

♪ Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha ♪

I'm On My Way
To The Hospital.

All Right, Dad.

Watch Rudy

Until Your Mom Comes Back
From The Community Center.

Okay.

What Are You Doing?

Getting Loose Change
From The Couch.

Really? Any Luck?

So Far, I Got $ . .

Good. When You Finish,
Put It On My Dresser.

But Dad, I Found The Change.

That's The Couch
Where I Take Naps.

It's My Change.

I Take Naps On The Couch, Too.

You Never Have Money
In Your Pocket.

Now I Have $ . .

( Doorbell )

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Hello, Janet.

This Is My Friend
Althea Logan.

Pleased To Meet You.

I'm On My Way To The Hospital.

"Althea" Later.

Get It?

Tommy Turtle
Made That Up.

I'll Thee-Ya.

Hi, Theo.

Hi.

This Is
Althea Logan.

Hello.

Hi.

Is Vanessa In Her Room?

Yeah.

Come On, Althea.

You Were Right, Janet.
He Is Cute.

Okay, Very Good.

Thank You, Nancy.

You're Welcome,
Doctor.

This Is A Real Hospital
Because Dr. Eckert--

My Favorite Resident--
Is On Board.

Hello, Dr. Huxtable.

How Are You?

I'm Okay.

Mrs. Gregory Was Admitted
At : .

She's In Birthing Room # .

I Checked Her.

She's Seven Centimeters
Dilated.

The Vertex Is
At Station Minus Two.

You See, You're A Gentleman
Who's Still Writing Things Down.

You're On The Case.

I Plan To Continue Writing
The Rest Of My Life.

That's My Job.

What Color Was
Her Overnight Bag?

I Don't Know.

You Call Yourself
A Doctor?

You Better Get It
Together, Son.

Right, Sir.

Let's Go.

I Think It
Was Green.

No, It Doesn't
Count Now.

Hi, Karen, How Are You?

Not As Well As I Will Be
This Time Tomorrow.

I'd Like You To Meet
My Father, Clayton Lee.

Hi, Mr. Lee.

Hello.

Hello.

Mr. Lee, Are You
Going To Be All Right?

No, I'm Miserable.

My Father's Unhappy About
Being Here For The Delivery.

I Wouldn't Be Here

If Her Husband Hadn't
Gotten Stationed In Iceland.

I've Never Had
A Baby Before.

My Wife And I
Have Three Children

But They Didn't Let Men
In The Delivery Room.

Those Were The Good Old Days.

Dad, Don't Worry.

I'll Be Right Here Next To
You Through The Whole Thing.

I Appreciate The Support.

( Breathing Deeply )

Pardon Me.

Oh!

There She Goes.

In, Out...

That Keeps Happening.

It's Going To, Sir, Or Else
The Baby Won't Be Born.

When Will That Be?

Two To Four Hours.

So Soon?

Yeah.

( Breathing Deeply )

Are You All Right?

I'm Fine,
But This Room Is Stuffy.

You're
Hyperventilating.

Is That Bad?

It's Bad If You Do It
During Delivery.

We're Going To Take Your Pulse
And Your Blood Pressure.

I Didn't Bring My Checkbook.

Don't Worry About It.

This Is On Dr. Eckert.

Take Him Outside.

You'll Be Fine.

I'll Be Back.

Don't Start Without Me.

Brian's Moving?

That's What
I Heard.

Now He Can't See My New Look.

What New Look?

The One Althea Designed.

It Took Me A Whole Week.

I Read A Lot Of Magazines.

Here's The Hair.

Oh, Great Hair.

And Look At This Dress.

Fabulous.

Check Out These Shoes.

This Is An Ad
For Dishwashing Detergent.

But Look At The Shoes
The Model's Wearing.

Oh, They'll Go Perfect
With The Hair And The Dress.

I Know.

I'm Going To Be A Fashion
Consultant When I Grow Up.

What Are You Doing?

Smoking A Cigarette.
You Want One?

No.

Janet?

No, Thanks.

Okay.

Althea, I
Don't Think

You Should Smoke In Here.

Why Not?

My Parents Won't Like It.

They're Not Here.

My Older Brother Is.

Don't Worry.

He'll Never Know.

What's That?

A Smoke Eater.

It Absorbs Smoke.

What The Smoke Eater
Doesn't Get, This Will.

Eww.

How Long Have You Been Smoking?

A Few Days.

I Can't Inhale, But I Love
How It Makes Me Look.

You Really Don't
Look That Different.

Well, I Feel Different.

Althea

Don't Light That.
Why Not?

I Don't Want You
Smoking In Here.

You're Infringing On My Right
Not To Get In Trouble.

What?

I Have A Right To Be In
My House And Not Be In Trouble.

I Wouldn't Cause Trouble
At Your House.

Don't Worry,
I Won't Cause Trouble.

Nobody Will Know.

Are You Sure?

I'll Just Take A Couple Of Puffs
And Then Put It Out.

They Have To Be
Tiny, Tiny Puffs

And You Have To Blow The
Smoke Directly Into Here

And Spray
Immediately Afterwards.

Dr. Huxtable?

You Wouldn't Believe The
Patient Who Just Arrived.

I Had Trouble Getting Her
Into The Birthing Room.

She Insisted On Handing Out
Gifts To All Of The Staff.

This One's For You.

Mmm, Banana Bread.

Mr. And Mrs. Schrader.

Right.

They Seem To Be Friends
With The Whole Staff.

If You Come Here Eight Times

You Would Have
A Lot Of Friends.

She Has Eight
Children?

Nine. Last Time,
She Had Twins.

This Is A Fun Couple.
Come On.

Three Of Diamonds.
You Need It?

Yeah.

Mmm...

Right On Schedule.

Camp Schrader.

Hi, Doctor.

Every Five
Minutes.

Mm-Hmm.

Be Right With You,
Dr. Huxtable.

That's
All Right.

Which One Should I Discard?

That One.

Why Didn't You Call Me?

We Called Your House, But Rudy
Said You Were Already Here.

I Like That New Lobby Furniture.

We Change The Furniture

To Keep Our Regular Customers
From Getting Bored.

Every Five Minutes?

We've Got Plenty Of Time,
Dr. Huxtable.

Sit Down,
Have Some Banana Bread.

Thank You Very Much.

Nancy, Will You Check
On Mrs. Gregory, Please?

Certainly,
Dr. Huxtable.

I'll Check On
Her Father Soon.

Very Good, Dr. Eckert.

I Like Her.

Yeah, She's A Good Nurse.

Dr. Eckert Likes Her, Too.

Oh, Really?

Is That True, Dr. Eckert?

Well, She's Very Efficient.

Good Answer.

I Have Good Instincts
About These Things.

Pay Attention To Her Instincts--

Nine Children.

Maybe We Shouldn't
Be Discussing This.

I Agree.

Stop Picking On
Dr. Eckert, Okay?

Everybody
Agree On That?

Okay.

When You Going
To Ask Her Out?

I'm Not!

Dr. Huxtable, Aren't You
Covering For Dr. Burshette?

Sure.

You Have Another Patient.

Okay.

Birthing Room # .

You Have Three Patients Delivering At The Same Time?

Sure, I Can Handle That.

If You Get Too Busy,
We'll Do This One Ourselves.

All Right.

Just Make Sure
You Send Me The Check.

Hi. Mr. And Mrs. Mira?

Si.

I'm Dr. Huxtable.
This Is Dr. Eckert.

I'm Filling In
For Dr. Burshette.

Como?

Perdone Nosotros
No Hablamos Ingles.

Dr. Huxtable, I Speak Spanish.

Then Hit It.

Buenos Dias.

'Buenos Dias.'

I Could Have Said That.

Yo Soy Es El Doctor Eckert.

De Donde Son Ustedes?

De Venezuela.

Yo Tuve Que Venir
A Los Estados Unidos

Por Negocios.

Si, Ya Tenemos
Aca Dos Meses.

They're From Venezuela.

They've Been Here About
Two Months On Business.

Este Es El Doctor Huxtable,
El Hombre Que La Atendera.

Bueno.

I Told Them
You're Their Doctor.

Tell Them I'm A Good Doctor.

El Doctor Huxtable
Un Doctor Bueno.

No, Muy.

Muy Bueno.

Tell Them
I'm Better Than You.

El Doctor...

El Doctor Burshette
Ha Dicho Muchas Cosas
Buenas Acerca De El.

Dr. Burshette Told Them
Good Things About You.

That's Right.

Okay, Um...

How...

How Far Apart

Are The... Things?

You Know

The Things.

Tiempo...

Mal...

Oww!?

Contracciones.

Contracciones!

There You Go.
Contracciones.

Seis Minutos.

Seis Minutos.

Six Minutes.

Just Tell Them
Welcome To America.

Their Next Family Member
Will Be A Citizen.

El Doctor Huxtable
Dice Que Hoy

Un Miembro De Su Familia
Sera Un Americano.

Si, Gracias.

All Right,
Bye-Bye.

Muchas Gracias.
Yes, Yes.

She Looks So Much Better
In Long Skirts.

Althea, That's Your
Second Cigarette.

No More.

I Wasn't Going To
Have Any More, Anyway.

Vanessa, I Wouldn't Worry.

I Can Hardly Smell It.

Theo:
What's Going On In There?

Nothing!

Why Do I Smell
Cigarette Smoke?

Let Me In.

Just A Second.

( Whispering: )
I Knew It!

This Will Fix It.

Dad Left Me In Charge.

I Am The Law.

Hold On.
I'm Coming!

You Have Five Seconds.

Thousand-One,
Thousand-Two...

I Smell Smoke
In My Sweater.

( Coughing )

Open The Door!

Okay, I Will.

Thousand-Four,
Thousand-Five.

Ooh, Using That Spray
Doesn't Hide Anything.

Theo, It Wasn't Me.

Look, I Don't Care
Who Was Doing The Smoking.

Just Please, Please,
Don't Do It In Here!

It's Going To Cause
Major Problems.

How Would You Know?

Dad Caught Me
And Cockroach Smoking

In My Room Once.

He Yelled So Loud,
I Still Have Cracks In My Walls.

If You Love Me, You'll Stop.

Okay, Althea?

What's Going On In Here?

Nothing,
Rudy.

Vanessa, Have You Been Smoking?

No. Can You Smell
Cigarette Smoke?

All The Way Downstairs.

This Is All
Your Fault.

You Just Had To Smoke.

Cigarettes Aren't Good For You.

They Make Your Breath Stink...

Your Lungs Dirty

And Then You Die.

Rudy, I Think
She Gets The Message.

Come On.

None Of My Friends Smoke.

Hi, Mr. Lee.

Is It Time?
No, No, No.

I Was Just Saying Hi.

Oh, Hi.

Hi.

I'm Waiting Out Here
For A While.

Are You Okay?

Oh, Sure.

Well, Your Daughter Said To Me

If You Don't Feel Like It,
It's All Right.

I Want To Be In There!

You're Sure?
Yes.

You're Okay?

If She Asked,
I'd Have The Baby For Her.

You'll Need A Different
Doctor For That.

Hey, Teatime.

Yeah.

I Hope You Like
Cinnamon Delight.

I Hate Cinnamon Delight.

I Also Have Snappy Apple.

Just Bring Me Warm Water.

Any Updates?

I Checked Everybody.

Mrs. Schrader Will Go First.

No Way, Dr. Huxtable.

Mrs. Gregory's Fully Dilated.

The Station Is Plus One.

I Hate To Contradict

But She's Going
To Go First.

Mrs. Schrader's
Been Here Eight Times.

When Schrader Babies
See Daylight, They Run.

It's Your Experience
Against My Data?

Excuse Me, Dr. Huxtable,
I Think Room Number...

Ah! Wait One Second.

Is It Mrs. Schrader?

Yes.

( Whistling )

I'll Be Right There.

Okay. Will You
Be Assisting, Dr. Eckert?

Yes, Nance.

Uh, Doctor Eckert...

You Just Called Her "Nance."

No, I Didn't.

What Did He Say?

Nance, But I Don't Think
He Meant Anything By It.

I Didn't Mean
Anything By It.

I'm Not The One Who
Said It, You Are.

Mrs. Schrader's The One
Who Started It.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, Hi.

How Did Things Go?

Everything Went Just Fine.

Brought Back Some Banana Bread,
Delivered Three Babies.

Want To Know
How Things Went Here?

Well, How Did Things
Go At Home?

Something Happened
While You Were Gone.

What?

Dad, I Tried To Stop It,
But I Couldn't.

What Happened?

Althea Smoked In My Room.

Smoked What?

Two Cigarettes.

The Kind You Buy In Stores?

Yeah.

Did You Smoke Any Of Them?

No. I Said To Stop,
But She Wouldn't.

Okay.

"Okay"?!

That's All You're Going To Say?

Yeah.

Come Here.

Come Here.

Listen...

You're .

Thirteen.

You Got A Lot Of Things.

You Got Cigarettes,
You Got dr*gs.

You Got
What Lipstick To Wear.

You Got Boys.

You Got To Make Up
Your Mind About
Peer Pressure--

Good And Bad.

And Listen--
Sometimes You May
Not Know What To Do.

You're Not Mad?

No.

Theo Said

When You Caught
Him And Cockroach Smoking

You Yelled So Loud,
The Walls Cracked.

Yes, Because Those Two Fools
Were Upstairs Smoking.

I Knocked On The Door

And I Don't Know
What They Were Thinking--

"Just A Minute! Just A Minute!"

I Hear All This
And Open The Door.

There's Thick Smoke
In The Room.

They Put
The Cigarettes
Under The Bed.

The Cigarettes
Are Still Burning.

Smoke's Coming Out.

They're Sitting Like,
"How You Doing, Dad?"

"Hi, Dr. Huxtable."

I Asked
A Dumb Question.

I Said, "Have You Been Smoking?"

"No! No!"

Smoke Coming Out Their Mouths.

I Said, "What Is That
On Your Breath?"

"We've Been Eating
Really Strong Beef Jerky."

They're Lucky

I Didn't Crack More Than
Just The Walls Yelling.

Dad, Thanks For Understanding.

As Long As You Understand
That With This Family

Your Honesty Is Important

Your Love Is Important

And While You're Thirteen...

You'll Be A Pain In The Behind.

Clair.

Hi, Cliff.

It's : In The Morning.

I Know.

Why Are You Up?

I Couldn't Sleep
And Decided To Do Some Work.

Be Honest.

Was I Snoring?

Like A Buzz Saw.

Why Didn't You Turn Me Over?

I Turned You Over.
I Turned You Around.

Then You Turned Me Out.

I Never Leave You
When You're Snoring.

That's Because I Don't Snore.

Ha!

Are You
Kidding Me?

When The Head Is Back,
Mouth Wide Open

Little Camel Flies
Flying Around, And This...

( Loud Snore )

Come On Now.

Go To Bed.

Cliff, I'm Sorry.

I'm Just Not Sleepy.

( Soft Jazz Playing
On The Stereo )

( Music Gets Louder )

( Turns Music Off )