06x15 - Return to the Cotton Club" / "No Friends Like Old Friends
Posted: 05/04/23 06:46
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[BELL TOLLING]
The plane! The plane!
[GIRLS GIGGLE]
- Good morning, boss.
- Good morning, Tattoo.
[GIRLS GIGGLE]
Smiles, everyone! Smiles!
[TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
TATTOO: Boss, that
lady looks terrified.
She looks like she got
on the plane by mistake.
ROARKE: Oh, that's
Miss Doreen Murphy.
She's nervous.
Three of her old
friends from college
will be arriving this afternoon.
Is that her fantasy,
to see them again?
In a way.
You see, Tattoo, in college,
Miss Murphy was a
bit of an ugly duckling.
Her three friends,
on the other hand,
were beautiful.
They had fine
clothes and fast cars.
They had power.
They treated Miss Murphy almost
as they would treat a servant.
Why would she invite them here?
Because, Tattoo, her fantasy
is to turn the tables on them.
This time they are
going to be in awe of her.
Ah, Mr. Charles Whelan,
or Diggs Whelan,
as he called himself
before he gave up
his singing career.
How come he gave it up?
Uh, well, I'm afraid he
believes his style of singing
isn't salable in
today's market, Tattoo.
Maybe what he needs is a break.
Exactly.
Mr. Whelan's fantasy
is to get that big break.
But in a time and
place he thinks
would be more
receptive to his talent.
The famous Cotton
Club in Harlem,
in the year .
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
TATTOO: How do you like it?
DOREEN: Tennis
courts, a swimming pool,
bedrooms as big as
Brooklyn, and it's mine?
For the weekend that is.
Well, after all, a
simple bungalow
would hardly befit a
member of the haute couture.
Furs, dress, shoes,
everything you need.
Oh! [GASPS]
Oh...
Oh!
I don't believe it!
- You came to Fantasy Island...
- [DOREEN LAUGHING]
Miss Murphy, to gain the respect
and admiration of the women
who once commanded yours.
And you shall.
Oh...
Oh, forget it. I
can't pull this off.
I look like the
same, little mousey
nothing I did in college.
Oh, uh, forgive me.
I almost forgot.
I am terribly sorry.
The finishing touch.
May I?
Let's face it, only
a plastic surgeon
could give me the
finishing touch I need.
How did you do it?
Actually, you did it.
All I did was give
you a necklace
that makes whoever wears it...
look her very best.
I can't wait to see their faces.
BROOKE: Ah! Doreen!
[SQUEALS]
DOREEN: Oh, honey.
BROOKE: Oh, I don't believe it.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
- SHEILA: Oh, oh, darling!
- DOREEN: Oh! [LAUGHS]
-[SQUEALS] -[ALL LAUGHING]
BROOKE: I can't believe it!
Limousines,
chauffeur, a mansion!
-[LAUGHS] -And
look at you, darling,
doesn't she look great?
Oh, thank you. [CHUCKLES]
Considering you could
count the number of dates
she had in college
on one finger, yes!
-[LAUGHS] -[CHUCKLES]
AL: One finger, huh?
Well, I bet now she could
use an adding machine.
-Hmm. -AL: Hello, Dory.
LIZ: You remember
my husband, Al.
- [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
- Boy, you look fantastic.
Thank you, Al. [GIGGLES]
Ah, uh, Davis here will
show you to your rooms.
There's champagne and
caviar waiting on the patio,
so hurry up and get changed.
-[GIGGLES] -Caviar
and champagne?
Davis, darling, lead the way.
Caviar. It's hysterical.
She ate her way through college
on soda crackers and cheese!
[LAUGHING]
We'll see who's hysterical
before this weekend's over,
queenie, dear.
[DOOR CLOSING]
ROARKE: You know, Mr. Whelan,
starting a singing
career in
may not be any
easier than it is today.
Are you kidding?
Hey, listen, the
music business today,
nobody cares whether
you got talent or not, man.
It doesn't matter. Talent
don't mean a thing.
It's who you know.
But, unfortunately, I don't know
the right people, you know.
And you think it
was different then?
You just get me back
there. was my time.
- You see, I know that, Tattoo.
- Very well, Mr. Whelan.
-Very well. -Hmm.
Uh, will you close
your eyes, please?
All right.
That's right.
Now...
imagine you are there,
the Cotton Club, the year ,
where you can
almost hear the music.
Hey, I almost can.
Snap your fingers, Mr. Whelan.
[HI-HAT TAPPING]
Hey, yeah, you know, I
can almost hear it, man.
Oh, boy, I'm gonna knock
'em dead, Mr. Roarke.
[ECHOING] I'm
gonna k*ll them, man.
Yeah.
[JAZZ BAND PLAYING]
LINDA: ♪ All of me ♪
♪ Why not take all of me?
♪ Can't you see? ♪
♪ I'm no good without you ♪
♪ Take my lips ♪
♪ I wanna lose them ♪
♪ Take my arms ♪
♪ I never use them ♪
♪ Your good-bye ♪
♪ Left me with eyes that cry ♪
♪ How can I go on
here Without you? ♪
♪ You took the part ♪
♪ That once was my heart ♪
♪ So why not ♪
♪ Take all of me ♪
[MUSIC ENDS]
Ugh.
Let's take five and
try it again later.
- Okay, Fingers?
- Anything you say, Linda.
Hi.
It's a closed
rehearsal, pal. Beat it.
Oh, no, sir. I'm
supposed to be here.
I'm Diggs Whelan.
-Whelan? -Yes, sir.
The new guy.
Well, why didn't you say so?
I'm Big Gus Belly. I
manage the place.
Wow, I've really
been looking forward
to being here for a long time.
- What's this for?
- What do you think?
Get out of those clothes
and get started on
these tables over there.
No, you don't understand.
I'm a singer, not a waiter.
Oh, I know that.
But in this club,
you clean tables first,
then you wash dishes,
then maybe, uh,
two, three years,
um, you might get a spot.
No, no, you don't understand.
I don't have two years.
Oh, you don't like
the club's policy?
- Well...
- Well, maybe you should take it
- up with the owner.
- Well, who is he?
Oh, he's that, uh,
a guy over there
in that, uh, dark gray suit.
Here you go, Mr. Schultz.
Exactly minutes old.
Hope you like it.
[CHOKING]
[IN RASPY VOICE]
Out! Get him out of here!
- His name is Dutch Schultz.
- Dutch Schultz, the gangster?
Uh, I... I better clean
a couple of tables first.
Uh-huh.
BROOKE: Sheila, would
you please lie down?
You're blocking the sun.
Darling, the sun is one
of your worst enemies.
Dory, I wish you'd told us
this is what happens to girls
who go to college
and actually study.
Think you'll ever
get married, Dory?
Girls...
this is Bob, Mike,
Jeff, and Tim.
- They are professional masseurs.
- Thank you, Tattoo.
Anybody who wants to
use their services, roll over.
Go ahead, guys.
Enjoy yourselves, girls.
Now what were you saying
about my getting married, Liz?
This reminds me of
the Beta Toga parties.
Remember them?
Oh, I guess you
wouldn't, would you, Dory?
Imagine being in
college four years
and never once
going to a frat party.
SHEILA: Oh, wait a minute, Liz,
what about the time
we fixed Dory up
- with the Alpha Sig?
- [BROOKE LAUGHS]
Oh, yeah. What was his name?
LIZ: First she spends
all day in rollers,
so that when she
finally took her hair down,
it looked like something
out of National Geographic.
- [BROOKE LAUGHS]
- Then her date shows up,
all five foot two of him,
and proceeds to spill red wine
down the front of her dress...
Okay, well, that's
enough! That's enough.
Uh, excuse me,
I have to go see
Mr. Roarke about a party
I'm throwing tomorrow night.
I'll be back.
Way to go, Sheila.
Well, how was I supposed
to know she'd still be sensitive
about some stupid blind date?
It's nice to know some
things never change, isn't it?
[PIANO PLAYING]
Radio, huh?
-Huh. -Mm-hm.
How's it get clear
across the country?
- [CAR TIRES SCREECHING]
- Them little tiny wires?
-[CHUCKLING] -[DIGGS GASPS]
It's Lucky's boys!
Everybody down!
[PIANO STOPS]
[g*nshots]
- What's going on?
- Lucky Luciano!
-It's a rival club... -Hey!
- up in Jersey! -Watch it!
-Watch it! -He hates Dutch!
- Dutch hates him! Oh!
- DIGGS: Duck down!
-LINDA: Oh-ho! -DIGGS: Hey!
-LINDA: Oh... -DIGGS: Whoa!
-[LINDA SIGHS] -Damn
it, boys! Hit 'em back!
Hit 'em hard!
Oh, we got to stop
meeting like this.
-[LAUGHS] -Diggs Whelan.
And thank you.
- Linda Bell. You're welcome.
- Hmm.
- That mess could have been me.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
-[SIGHS] -So, um,
what do you do?
Do you dance, sing, blow horn?
Or are you just a plain,
old, ordinary waiter?
-Mm, I sing. -Ah, I thought so.
You don't look
plain, old or ordinary.
Hmm.
You, radio bums,
stay out of here.
I don't want no cheap
gimmicks in my place.
Huh, we got class here.
- Did he say radio?
- MAN: Radio...
Yeah, some radio
station wants to broadcast
from here tomorrow night.
March .
Of course! Listen, are
you singing on that show
- tomorrow night?
- Yeah, Dutch gave me a spot.
Wow, you know all the
people that's gonna be
on that show are
gonna become stars.
That's gonna be
a big break for you.
And it might be for
me, too, you know.
-[SCOFFS] You're crazy. -Why?
'Cause Dutch hates
radio. You heard him,
he won't let that guy
near this place again.
Hey, somebody's got to
change his mind, babe.
You know? Yeah.
DUTCH: This salad stinks!
Needs more Parmesan.
Boy, that was one
smooth move, Mr. Schultz.
You really put that
radio guy in his place
and showed him
who's boss around here.
Why's this guy talking to me?
I mean, like you said,
this is an exclusive club,
and you don't want people all over
the country knowing about it, huh?
What's he mean,
all over the country?
You know, Lucky Luciano said if you
don't let them do the broadcast from here,
he's gonna let them
do it from his place.
Oh, yeah?
What else did you hear him say?
Uh, that Lucky
be laughing at you.
Get that radio bum back in here!
You better be
right about this, pal.
'Cause if this
blows up in my face,
you will too.
[CHUCKLES]
ROARKE: Change your fantasy?
Do you mean to say
that your old friends
aren't impressed?
Well, they're treating me
just like they did in school.
Especially Liz.
Every time I turn around,
they're either putting me down
or making me feel stupid.
I'm getting about as
much respect as a dog.
Uh, forgive me, but
perhaps the fault lies
not so much with your fantasy
as with your
powers of perception.
- What do you mean?
- TATTOO: He means
that the plan is working,
that Liz is very jealous.
Well, think about
it, Miss Murphy.
If your friend insists upon
treating you like a failure,
it can only mean that
your fantasy is a success.
She's obviously envious.
Well, I'm sorry.
It's just not enough!
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
-Like it? -Oh, hi.
-Hi. -Yeah!
I've never seen one of
these up close before.
How would you like to see it
from, uh, behind the wheel?
- This is your...
- DOREEN: Uh-huh.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, sure.
We can take the long
way back to my place.
That way we can get to
know each other better.
Your wife won't mind, will she?
Frankly, my dear, I
don't give a damn.
[LAUGHS]
DIGGS: ♪ I've got a
right To sing the blues ♪
[PIANO PLAYING]
DIGGS: ♪ I've got a
right To feel lowdown ♪
♪ And I've got a right
To hang around ♪
♪ Down around ♪
♪ The river ♪
♪ There's a girl
In this old town ♪
♪ Keeps dragging
My heart around ♪
♪ All I see for me ♪
♪ Is misery ♪
♪ I got a right To
sing the blues ♪
♪ I got a right
To sit and sigh ♪
♪ I got a right To
moan and cry ♪
♪ Down around the river ♪
♪ I know the deep blue sea ♪
♪ Soon will be callin' on me ♪
♪ It must be love Say
what you choose ♪
♪ I got a right To
sing the blues ♪
[MUSIC ENDS]
A different style,
but I like it, a lot.
I used to think I
was pretty good.
You are good. You're
better than good.
Well, maybe. [SIGHS]
Well, I thought sure
this would be my time.
[CHUCKLES] It will be.
You can't give up
on yourself, Diggs.
That's what success
is really all about.
- You really care, don't you?
- Of course I do.
People gotta stick
together and...
help each other out, don't they?
Well, that's what
I always thought.
[SIGHS]
Wow, you really look
dynamite in that dress.
And, um...
you're gonna be dynamite
on that radio show.
[INAUDIBLE]
[LAUGHS] Oh, boy, that
Clénet sure beats the heck out of
any car I've ever driven.
Your keys, Madam.
And my thanks.
That was the kiss of
the greatest quarterback
Ohio Wesleyan's ever seen?
What's the matter?
[CHUCKLES] Well, it's
just that I'm not used to
doing this sort
of thing in a foyer.
Oh, well, how about a bedroom?
Like mine, in five minutes.
[CHUCKLES]
You got yourself a deal.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Hello, Miss Murphy.
- May we come in?
- Well, I am kind of busy.
I felt we should
continue the discussion
- we began in my office.
- Oh, oh, it's okay, Mr. Roarke.
Um, I think I was just
a little over-anxious.
We came here to talk
about the real reason
for your fantasy.
-[DOOR CLOSING] -Real reason?
Yes. Yes.
You don't want respect
from your old friends.
You want revenge.
Those women
humiliated you in college.
You brought them here...
to do to them what
they did to you.
- Am I not correct?
- Well, so what if I did?
They hurt me.
In college, Liz took away
the one thing I needed most,
my self-respect.
Well, I'm gonna do
the same thing to her...
by taking away her husband.
Will you excuse us, Miss Murphy?
Tattoo.
Come on, Gus,
just listen to him.
He's really good.
Do it as a favor to me.
Please?
Do it as a favor to you?
- Sure, baby.
- Oh, thanks, Gus. [CHUCKLES]
You're not going
to regret it! [SIGHS]
- You bet I won't.
- [DOOR CLOSING]
Long time no see.
♪ Can't you hear
The pitter-pat ♪
♪ And the happy
tune Is your step ♪
♪ Life can be so sweet... ♪
So? What do you think?
DIGGS: ♪ On the sunny
side Of the street... ♪
Not bad. Not bad.
DIGGS: ♪ I used to
walk In the shade ♪
♪ With those blues on parade ♪
♪ But now I'm not afraid ♪
♪ 'Cause this rover
Done crossed over ♪
♪ If I never have a cent... ♪
Let's talk about it.
DIGGS: ♪ I will be
rich As Rockefeller ♪
♪ With gold dust at my feet ♪
♪ On the sunny
side Of the street ♪
♪ On the sunny ♪
♪ Sunny side of the street ♪
[SIGHS]
So what do you think?
Can you get him on that
radio show tomorrow night?
Listen, baby, you asked
me to listen, and I listened.
But there's only, uh,
three spots tomorrow night.
Fingers, yours, and the band.
Now, I did you a favor.
-Where's mine? -Hey now.
Come on, Gus,
what are you doing?
- Time to pay up.
- Uh-uh, no, forget it.
Are you telling me no?
With a capital N.
Okay, Whelan, you're
on tomorrow night.
You've got a spot.
- Hey, congratulations.
- I got a spot, I got a spot!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Your spot.
He's in and you're out.
DOREEN: Hi, everybody!
I don't believe it.
[CHUCKLES] We've been
looking all over for you two.
What have you been doing?
[SIGHS] Well, I sure
hope you're hungry,
because I had my chef prepare
the biggest the rack of
lamb you've ever seen.
Shall we?
DOREEN: Good morning, everybody.
- Where's Al?
- LIZ: He's still asleep.
Apparently, he didn't
get much sleep last night.
Brooke, let's go make
the beds or something.
Good plan.
Well, maybe some
nice, hot breakfast
will get your mind off
whatever's bothering you.
So, little Dory thinks
that for once in her life
she has the upper hand.
Rubbing our noses
in all her money,
making a play for my husband.
Don't think I don't
know what you're up to.
When it comes to doing
numbers on people's heads,
I'm an expert.
Well, you had enough practice
on me in college, didn't you?
[GASPS]
I should have
known it all along.
You flew us out here
so you could try
to even the score.
Did you think I was
just gonna forget about
what the three of you did?
You treated me like dirt.
You made me feel ugly
and stupid and worthless!
Well, I'm not! You can ask
your husband about that.
I'm afraid I have some
bad news for you, sweetie.
My husband... is all yours.
What?
Number one, all he's
after is your money.
And number two, in case
you haven't noticed it yet,
Al's got an ego
the size of Texas.
Having grown rather
tired of feeding it,
[SIGHS] I'd be delighted
to let you take over.
In other words...
you can have him.
DIGGS: Mr. Schultz.
Mr. Schultz, sir.
-Mr. Schultz. -Get in.
Yeah, I want to talk to
you about Linda Bell, sir.
Shut up.
Okay.
You told me Lucky Luciano
was gonna let them do
the radio show from his club.
You lied.
Yeah, well, you see I... I...
Hey, Glover,
Fleckenstein's short.
Go explain to him
I meant what I said.
His... his left kneecap ought
to understand. [CHUCKLES]
Ever since Luciano
heard I'm letting them do
the radio show from my club,
he's been laughing
up his sleeve at me.
I don't like that.
I don't blame you, sir, but,
you see, it's about Linda.
She got fired for
no apparent reason.
Get out!
[SIGHS] Okay.
DUTCH: Hey!
If that radio show
ain't a big hit tonight,
if Luciano's still
laughing at me tomorrow,
your breathing
days is over, Whelan.
- Drive, Glover.
- You don't understand!
Linda's got to sing tonight!
Linda's got to
sing tonight, man!
[PIANO PLAYING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[PLAYING STOPS]
[SOBS]
[SNIFFLES]
[SNIFFLES]
Hi.
Hi.
Can I talk to you, please?
[LINDA CLEARS THROAT]
[LINDA SNIFFLES]
I was, uh, thinking maybe
I'd paint the place, you know,
now that I got so much
time on my hands, uh...
I just came by to tell
you how sorry I am
that, you know, I
took your spot and all.
[SOBBING] It doesn't
matter, really, I...
Oh, my God, look
what I've done to you.
Really, uh, it
isn't your fault, I...
I'll get a break someday. My...
my dream will come
true, just like yours did.
Yeah, thanks to you.
Oh, well, maybe I
helped some, but...
that's what Cotton
Club is all about,
helping each other,
seeing that the cream gets
a chance to rise to the top.
You're cream.
I could tell that
from the very first.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-Miss Murphy. -Oh, Mr. Roarke.
Hi, Tattoo.
You specifically asked
that an extravagant party
like this be part
of your fantasy.
Well, you are the hostess.
You should be out there
impressing your old friends,
enjoying the limelight.
What are you doing here hiding?
[SCOFFS] Exactly that,
hiding from Liz's husband, Al.
-Oh? -Oh, Mr. Roarke, I blew it.
I just wanted to take Al
away from Liz for the weekend.
He wants to make it permanent.
Why don't you tell him
the truth about yourself?
I can't do that.
If I do that, Liz and
Sheila and Brooke
will know this has
all been a put-on,
and I'll look like a
bigger loser than ever.
I don't believe I've
met your friend, uh, Liz.
- Where is she?
- Oh, she's up in her room,
probably laughing at me.
Turns out she could
care less about Al.
You're certain of
that, Miss Murphy?
Yeah, of course I'm
certain. She told me herself.
You're not
suggesting she's lying?
Well, in light of
your current problem,
it would seem
worth checking into,
would it not?
Hey, Dory, there you are.
- Oh.
- [LAUGHING] Hi, I'm Al Adams.
Oh, excuse me,
uh, this is Mr. Roarke
and his assistant Tattoo.
Uh, how do you do?
Whoop, wait. [CHUCKLES]
- Ah, nice to meet you.
- Mr. Adams.
- Nice to meet you too.
- How do you do?
Hey, Dory, these friends
of yours are outstanding.
I mean, you talk about
class. [CHUCKLING]
[MUNCHES]
You know what,
that guy over there,
he runs a modeling agency.
Who knows, if I
play my cards right,
I might wind up
on the cover of GQ.
[LAUGHING]
-[LAUGHS] -[CHUCKLES]
Well, you just keep
on mingling, Al.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I,
uh, have something to check out.
Sure.
Want a carrot?
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
[SNIFFLES]
[SNIFFLES]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Who is it? -DOREEN: Dory.
[SNIFFLING, SIGHS]
Come in.
If it isn't the hostess
with the mostest.
Shouldn't you be outside
with your future husband?
- You've been crying.
- I've been drinking.
May you and Al and
all his football trophies
live happily ever after.
You really do care
about Al after all.
Shows how much you know.
Damn it, Liz! All you
ever do is belittle me.
You did it in college,
and you're doing it now.
How have I hurt you?
Why is it so important to you
to make me feel unimportant?
You're the one
with all the brains.
You figure it out.
You were jealous.
Not just now, but back then too.
Jealous? Of you?
[SCOFFS]
You were the little
nothing, weren't you?
[SNIFFLES]
All you ever had
was your good looks
and your parents' money.
No brains, no talent.
And you left
school with a degree
that I earned for
you and a husband.
Well, looks like you're
not going to have him
very much longer, doesn't
it, Miss Happily Married?
[SNIFFLES]
[SOBBING]
- Liz, I'm sorry.
- Why? It's the truth!
[SOBS]
Come on,
you've got a new
leaf to turn over.
- Where are we going?
- To the party.
No offense, Liz, but
Al's really not my type.
And now that I know
you really love him,
you're getting back
together again. Come on.
But... but, Dory...
I'm a mess.
There's no way Al's
even going to look at me.
Boy, do I have a
surprise for you.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Oh, hi, Mr. Schultz.
Hey, it's a big night for you
and the Cotton Club, huh?
Those microphones
really look impressive,
- don't they?
- Yeah, just two minutes
until this big deal
broadcast starts.
And there's nobody out there
but our regular customers.
Well, Mr. Schultz, see, you
looking at it the wrong way.
Uh, you got to think about
the people that's at home
listening to the radios.
There's hundreds
of thousands of them.
- I want it to hurt.
- You want what to hurt?
When Ralphie here kills you.
[MUSIC ENDS, PATRONS APPLAUD]
From the Cotton
Club, from Harlem,
from New York City,
live, a broadcasting first!
An hour of magical music.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the great Fingers Lewis
and the Cotton Club Band!
[PATRONS CHEER AND APPLAUD]
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, Al.
Hi.
Hey, uh, what
happened? You look...
Well, um, you look
different. [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
This is the real
me, Al. And, um...
so is this.
AL: Savings account passbook?
The balance represents
the sum total of my net worth.
[LAUGHS]
Eight hundred and
three dollars? [LAUGHS]
Come on. I don't understand.
If you ask real nicely,
maybe, uh, Liz will fill you in.
That's Liz?
Hello, everyone.
[CHUCKLES] Wow!
Wow, Liz, you
look... you look great!
Um, hey listen,
you wait right here.
I'll get you some
champagne, huh?
Wow look at...
This... this is Liz.
Don't go away now. I...
I'm going to be right back.
Whoa!
[LAUGHING]
He's panting like a puppy
dog, like when you first met him.
Oh, remember, the necklace
is only good for tonight.
[GASPS] Don't worry.
Now that I've got his attention,
I intend to keep it. [GASPS]
Maybe I can even
get him to put those
damn football
trophies up in the attic
-where they belong. -[CHUCKLES]
Well, that's pretty
radical, don't you think?
My future is going
to be ten times better
than my past ever was.
Thank you, Dory.
Dory, this is absolutely
the best party I've been to
since the one that got the
Betas kicked off campus.
-[ALL LAUGH] -Oh, did you do
something different
to your hair?
Uh, well, it's a long story.
It reminds me of the way
you used to wear it in school.
I like it.
Oh, hey, remember how you
used to set my hair in school?
And how you used to do
Brooke's laundry for her
because she was so lazy,
and how you used to go
to class for Liz and
take all her tests for her.
Yeah, yeah, I
remember. [CHUCKLES]
You deserve to be rich
and important, my darling,
because nobody should
depend on someone
the way we depended on you.
I'll say, you were
really terrific.
Correction. She is terrific.
You know what the best
thing about this party is?
Us.
ALL: Oh...
[ALL GIGGLING]
ALL: Hooray, hooray!
We're gonna stay together!
[PLAYING PIANO]
-Hello again, Mr. Whelan. -Oh.
Are you ready to start
your singing career?
Am I ever. Look at me,
I'm a nervous wreck.
Oh...
Oh, is that your friend
Linda over there?
Yeah. She came!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
What's going to happen
to her, Mr. Roarke?
Is she going to ever
make it as a singer?
Oh, I think that's
something you would know
much better than I, Mr. Whelan.
[PATRONS APPLAUD]
That was Fingers Lewis.
And now for the final number
in our live broadcast tonight.
Coming to you direct
from the Cotton Club,
ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Diggs Whelan!
[PATRONS APPLAUDING]
FINGERS: One, two, three.
[JAZZ MUSIC STARTS]
♪ Grab your coat
And get your hat ♪
♪ Leave your worries
On the doorstep ♪
♪ Just direct your feet ♪
♪ To the sunny
side Of the street ♪
♪ Hear that... pitter-pat... ♪
[BAND STOPS PLAYING]
Oh, what is this?
First, he talks me into
doing the lousy show,
then he ruins it!
Suddenly, I don't care
if people think I'm tacky.
Get him!
Ladies and gentlemen,
there's been a change
in the program this evening.
We'd like to bring up a
very beautiful young lady,
Miss Linda Bell, who's
going to sing for you,
"Birth of the Blues."
Come on up, Linda.
Linda Bell, ladies
and gentlemen.
Come on, hey.
[ALL APPLAUD]
- DIGGS: Come on, Linda.
- [ALL CHEERING]
DIGGS: Miss Linda Bell.
[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]
Hey...
What the hell are you doing?
For the first time in my
life, I'm doing the right thing.
You belong here,
Linda, and I don't.
This is your time, baby.
Give me something
beautiful to remember you by.
Really sing me a good song.
Hit it, Fingers.
[PIANO PLAYING]
♪ From a whippoorwill ♪
♪ Out on a hill ♪
♪ They took a new note ♪
♪ Pushed it through a horn ♪
♪ Till it was worn ♪
♪ Into a blue note... ♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪ They heard the
breeze In the trees ♪
♪ Singing weird melodies ♪
♪ And they made that ♪
♪ The start of the blues ♪
♪ And from a jail ♪
♪ Came the wail ♪
♪ Of a down-hearted frail ♪
♪ And they played that ♪
♪ As part of the blues ♪
♪ From a whippoorwill
Out on a hill ♪
♪ They took a new note ♪
♪ Pushed it through a horn ♪
♪ Till it was worn ♪
♪ Into a blue note ♪
♪ And then they nursed it... ♪
DUTCH: Hey, Ralphie!
LINDA: ♪ And they rehearsed it ♪
♪ And gave out the news ♪
♪ That the Southland ♪
♪ Gave birth to the blues ♪
- ♪ From a whippoorwill ♪
- ♪ From a whippoorwill ♪
- ♪ Out on a hill ♪
- ♪ Out on a hill ♪
- ♪ They took a new note ♪
- ♪ They took a new note ♪
- ♪ They pushed it ♪
- ♪ They pushed it ♪
- ♪ Through a horn ♪
- ♪ Through a horn ♪
- ♪ Until it was worn ♪
- ♪ Until it was worn ♪
- ♪ Into a blue note ♪
- ♪ Into a blue note ♪
- ♪ And then they nursed it... ♪
- ♪ And then they nursed it... ♪
The place is overflowing.
People that usually
go to Lucky Luciano's
are coming here
because of what they heard
-on the radio. -How about that!
[CHUCKLES] Well,
like I always said,
this radio gimmick is
here to stay. [CHUCKLES]
Am I a genius or what?
BOTH: ♪ Gave
birth to the blues ♪
- ♪ And then they nursed it ♪
- ♪ And then they nursed it ♪
- ♪ Rehearsed it ♪
- ♪ Rehearsed it ♪
- ♪ And gave out the news ♪
- ♪ And gave out the news ♪
- ♪ That the Southland ♪
- ♪ That the Southland ♪
-♪ Gave birth ♪ -♪ Gave birth ♪
- ♪ To the blues ♪
- ♪ To the blues ♪
-[MUSIC ENDS] -[ALL
CHEER AND APPLAUD]
MAN: One more time! Oh!
One more time! One more time!
[BAND STARTS PLAYING]
LINDA: ♪ And then
they nursed it... ♪
It's time to go, Mr. Whelan.
♪ And they gave out the news ♪
♪ That the Southland ♪
♪ Gave birth ♪
♪ To the blues ♪
♪ And then they
nursed it Rehearsed it ♪
♪ And gave out the news ♪
♪ That the Southland ♪
[ALL CHEERING]
♪ Gave birth ♪
♪ To the blues ♪
-[MUSIC ENDS] -[ALL
CHEER AND APPLAUD]
I wanted to go for
one last spin in that.
I hope it's okay.
Oh, that's quite all
right, Miss Murphy.
Where are your guests?
Oh, I put them on
an earlier plane.
But not before making them
promise to keep in touch.
Oh, before I forget...
here.
I never needed that, or
the car, or any of that stuff.
My three friends were
impressed with just plain old me.
- Thank you, Mr. Roarke.
- You're welcome, Miss Murphy.
-Bye, Tattoo. -Goodbye.
Well, I guess it's goodbye, huh?
I hope you're not too
mad at me, Mr. Whelan.
Mad? Why should I be mad?
Well, you didn't
get your fantasy.
You know, your singing career.
Well, I did start
a singing career.
It just wasn't mine, Tattoo.
I wouldn't be too
sure, Mr. Whelan.
You see, the man you
thought was Dutch Schultz
was actually a
guest just like you.
It was his fantasy to
be a part-time gangster.
-So? -Well, in real life,
Mr. Schultz runs a
nightclub in San Francisco.
He's been looking for
someone to sing there
on a regular basis, and
it seems he's found him.
All right! Thank
you, Mr. Roarke.
- You're very welcome.
- All right, Too'.
Hey, get down, man. Oh, man.
Boss, it's such a nice word.
What word is that?
Friends.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
[BELL TOLLING]
The plane! The plane!
[GIRLS GIGGLE]
- Good morning, boss.
- Good morning, Tattoo.
[GIRLS GIGGLE]
Smiles, everyone! Smiles!
[TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
TATTOO: Boss, that
lady looks terrified.
She looks like she got
on the plane by mistake.
ROARKE: Oh, that's
Miss Doreen Murphy.
She's nervous.
Three of her old
friends from college
will be arriving this afternoon.
Is that her fantasy,
to see them again?
In a way.
You see, Tattoo, in college,
Miss Murphy was a
bit of an ugly duckling.
Her three friends,
on the other hand,
were beautiful.
They had fine
clothes and fast cars.
They had power.
They treated Miss Murphy almost
as they would treat a servant.
Why would she invite them here?
Because, Tattoo, her fantasy
is to turn the tables on them.
This time they are
going to be in awe of her.
Ah, Mr. Charles Whelan,
or Diggs Whelan,
as he called himself
before he gave up
his singing career.
How come he gave it up?
Uh, well, I'm afraid he
believes his style of singing
isn't salable in
today's market, Tattoo.
Maybe what he needs is a break.
Exactly.
Mr. Whelan's fantasy
is to get that big break.
But in a time and
place he thinks
would be more
receptive to his talent.
The famous Cotton
Club in Harlem,
in the year .
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
TATTOO: How do you like it?
DOREEN: Tennis
courts, a swimming pool,
bedrooms as big as
Brooklyn, and it's mine?
For the weekend that is.
Well, after all, a
simple bungalow
would hardly befit a
member of the haute couture.
Furs, dress, shoes,
everything you need.
Oh! [GASPS]
Oh...
Oh!
I don't believe it!
- You came to Fantasy Island...
- [DOREEN LAUGHING]
Miss Murphy, to gain the respect
and admiration of the women
who once commanded yours.
And you shall.
Oh...
Oh, forget it. I
can't pull this off.
I look like the
same, little mousey
nothing I did in college.
Oh, uh, forgive me.
I almost forgot.
I am terribly sorry.
The finishing touch.
May I?
Let's face it, only
a plastic surgeon
could give me the
finishing touch I need.
How did you do it?
Actually, you did it.
All I did was give
you a necklace
that makes whoever wears it...
look her very best.
I can't wait to see their faces.
BROOKE: Ah! Doreen!
[SQUEALS]
DOREEN: Oh, honey.
BROOKE: Oh, I don't believe it.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
- SHEILA: Oh, oh, darling!
- DOREEN: Oh! [LAUGHS]
-[SQUEALS] -[ALL LAUGHING]
BROOKE: I can't believe it!
Limousines,
chauffeur, a mansion!
-[LAUGHS] -And
look at you, darling,
doesn't she look great?
Oh, thank you. [CHUCKLES]
Considering you could
count the number of dates
she had in college
on one finger, yes!
-[LAUGHS] -[CHUCKLES]
AL: One finger, huh?
Well, I bet now she could
use an adding machine.
-Hmm. -AL: Hello, Dory.
LIZ: You remember
my husband, Al.
- [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
- Boy, you look fantastic.
Thank you, Al. [GIGGLES]
Ah, uh, Davis here will
show you to your rooms.
There's champagne and
caviar waiting on the patio,
so hurry up and get changed.
-[GIGGLES] -Caviar
and champagne?
Davis, darling, lead the way.
Caviar. It's hysterical.
She ate her way through college
on soda crackers and cheese!
[LAUGHING]
We'll see who's hysterical
before this weekend's over,
queenie, dear.
[DOOR CLOSING]
ROARKE: You know, Mr. Whelan,
starting a singing
career in
may not be any
easier than it is today.
Are you kidding?
Hey, listen, the
music business today,
nobody cares whether
you got talent or not, man.
It doesn't matter. Talent
don't mean a thing.
It's who you know.
But, unfortunately, I don't know
the right people, you know.
And you think it
was different then?
You just get me back
there. was my time.
- You see, I know that, Tattoo.
- Very well, Mr. Whelan.
-Very well. -Hmm.
Uh, will you close
your eyes, please?
All right.
That's right.
Now...
imagine you are there,
the Cotton Club, the year ,
where you can
almost hear the music.
Hey, I almost can.
Snap your fingers, Mr. Whelan.
[HI-HAT TAPPING]
Hey, yeah, you know, I
can almost hear it, man.
Oh, boy, I'm gonna knock
'em dead, Mr. Roarke.
[ECHOING] I'm
gonna k*ll them, man.
Yeah.
[JAZZ BAND PLAYING]
LINDA: ♪ All of me ♪
♪ Why not take all of me?
♪ Can't you see? ♪
♪ I'm no good without you ♪
♪ Take my lips ♪
♪ I wanna lose them ♪
♪ Take my arms ♪
♪ I never use them ♪
♪ Your good-bye ♪
♪ Left me with eyes that cry ♪
♪ How can I go on
here Without you? ♪
♪ You took the part ♪
♪ That once was my heart ♪
♪ So why not ♪
♪ Take all of me ♪
[MUSIC ENDS]
Ugh.
Let's take five and
try it again later.
- Okay, Fingers?
- Anything you say, Linda.
Hi.
It's a closed
rehearsal, pal. Beat it.
Oh, no, sir. I'm
supposed to be here.
I'm Diggs Whelan.
-Whelan? -Yes, sir.
The new guy.
Well, why didn't you say so?
I'm Big Gus Belly. I
manage the place.
Wow, I've really
been looking forward
to being here for a long time.
- What's this for?
- What do you think?
Get out of those clothes
and get started on
these tables over there.
No, you don't understand.
I'm a singer, not a waiter.
Oh, I know that.
But in this club,
you clean tables first,
then you wash dishes,
then maybe, uh,
two, three years,
um, you might get a spot.
No, no, you don't understand.
I don't have two years.
Oh, you don't like
the club's policy?
- Well...
- Well, maybe you should take it
- up with the owner.
- Well, who is he?
Oh, he's that, uh,
a guy over there
in that, uh, dark gray suit.
Here you go, Mr. Schultz.
Exactly minutes old.
Hope you like it.
[CHOKING]
[IN RASPY VOICE]
Out! Get him out of here!
- His name is Dutch Schultz.
- Dutch Schultz, the gangster?
Uh, I... I better clean
a couple of tables first.
Uh-huh.
BROOKE: Sheila, would
you please lie down?
You're blocking the sun.
Darling, the sun is one
of your worst enemies.
Dory, I wish you'd told us
this is what happens to girls
who go to college
and actually study.
Think you'll ever
get married, Dory?
Girls...
this is Bob, Mike,
Jeff, and Tim.
- They are professional masseurs.
- Thank you, Tattoo.
Anybody who wants to
use their services, roll over.
Go ahead, guys.
Enjoy yourselves, girls.
Now what were you saying
about my getting married, Liz?
This reminds me of
the Beta Toga parties.
Remember them?
Oh, I guess you
wouldn't, would you, Dory?
Imagine being in
college four years
and never once
going to a frat party.
SHEILA: Oh, wait a minute, Liz,
what about the time
we fixed Dory up
- with the Alpha Sig?
- [BROOKE LAUGHS]
Oh, yeah. What was his name?
LIZ: First she spends
all day in rollers,
so that when she
finally took her hair down,
it looked like something
out of National Geographic.
- [BROOKE LAUGHS]
- Then her date shows up,
all five foot two of him,
and proceeds to spill red wine
down the front of her dress...
Okay, well, that's
enough! That's enough.
Uh, excuse me,
I have to go see
Mr. Roarke about a party
I'm throwing tomorrow night.
I'll be back.
Way to go, Sheila.
Well, how was I supposed
to know she'd still be sensitive
about some stupid blind date?
It's nice to know some
things never change, isn't it?
[PIANO PLAYING]
Radio, huh?
-Huh. -Mm-hm.
How's it get clear
across the country?
- [CAR TIRES SCREECHING]
- Them little tiny wires?
-[CHUCKLING] -[DIGGS GASPS]
It's Lucky's boys!
Everybody down!
[PIANO STOPS]
[g*nshots]
- What's going on?
- Lucky Luciano!
-It's a rival club... -Hey!
- up in Jersey! -Watch it!
-Watch it! -He hates Dutch!
- Dutch hates him! Oh!
- DIGGS: Duck down!
-LINDA: Oh-ho! -DIGGS: Hey!
-LINDA: Oh... -DIGGS: Whoa!
-[LINDA SIGHS] -Damn
it, boys! Hit 'em back!
Hit 'em hard!
Oh, we got to stop
meeting like this.
-[LAUGHS] -Diggs Whelan.
And thank you.
- Linda Bell. You're welcome.
- Hmm.
- That mess could have been me.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
-[SIGHS] -So, um,
what do you do?
Do you dance, sing, blow horn?
Or are you just a plain,
old, ordinary waiter?
-Mm, I sing. -Ah, I thought so.
You don't look
plain, old or ordinary.
Hmm.
You, radio bums,
stay out of here.
I don't want no cheap
gimmicks in my place.
Huh, we got class here.
- Did he say radio?
- MAN: Radio...
Yeah, some radio
station wants to broadcast
from here tomorrow night.
March .
Of course! Listen, are
you singing on that show
- tomorrow night?
- Yeah, Dutch gave me a spot.
Wow, you know all the
people that's gonna be
on that show are
gonna become stars.
That's gonna be
a big break for you.
And it might be for
me, too, you know.
-[SCOFFS] You're crazy. -Why?
'Cause Dutch hates
radio. You heard him,
he won't let that guy
near this place again.
Hey, somebody's got to
change his mind, babe.
You know? Yeah.
DUTCH: This salad stinks!
Needs more Parmesan.
Boy, that was one
smooth move, Mr. Schultz.
You really put that
radio guy in his place
and showed him
who's boss around here.
Why's this guy talking to me?
I mean, like you said,
this is an exclusive club,
and you don't want people all over
the country knowing about it, huh?
What's he mean,
all over the country?
You know, Lucky Luciano said if you
don't let them do the broadcast from here,
he's gonna let them
do it from his place.
Oh, yeah?
What else did you hear him say?
Uh, that Lucky
be laughing at you.
Get that radio bum back in here!
You better be
right about this, pal.
'Cause if this
blows up in my face,
you will too.
[CHUCKLES]
ROARKE: Change your fantasy?
Do you mean to say
that your old friends
aren't impressed?
Well, they're treating me
just like they did in school.
Especially Liz.
Every time I turn around,
they're either putting me down
or making me feel stupid.
I'm getting about as
much respect as a dog.
Uh, forgive me, but
perhaps the fault lies
not so much with your fantasy
as with your
powers of perception.
- What do you mean?
- TATTOO: He means
that the plan is working,
that Liz is very jealous.
Well, think about
it, Miss Murphy.
If your friend insists upon
treating you like a failure,
it can only mean that
your fantasy is a success.
She's obviously envious.
Well, I'm sorry.
It's just not enough!
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
-Like it? -Oh, hi.
-Hi. -Yeah!
I've never seen one of
these up close before.
How would you like to see it
from, uh, behind the wheel?
- This is your...
- DOREEN: Uh-huh.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, sure.
We can take the long
way back to my place.
That way we can get to
know each other better.
Your wife won't mind, will she?
Frankly, my dear, I
don't give a damn.
[LAUGHS]
DIGGS: ♪ I've got a
right To sing the blues ♪
[PIANO PLAYING]
DIGGS: ♪ I've got a
right To feel lowdown ♪
♪ And I've got a right
To hang around ♪
♪ Down around ♪
♪ The river ♪
♪ There's a girl
In this old town ♪
♪ Keeps dragging
My heart around ♪
♪ All I see for me ♪
♪ Is misery ♪
♪ I got a right To
sing the blues ♪
♪ I got a right
To sit and sigh ♪
♪ I got a right To
moan and cry ♪
♪ Down around the river ♪
♪ I know the deep blue sea ♪
♪ Soon will be callin' on me ♪
♪ It must be love Say
what you choose ♪
♪ I got a right To
sing the blues ♪
[MUSIC ENDS]
A different style,
but I like it, a lot.
I used to think I
was pretty good.
You are good. You're
better than good.
Well, maybe. [SIGHS]
Well, I thought sure
this would be my time.
[CHUCKLES] It will be.
You can't give up
on yourself, Diggs.
That's what success
is really all about.
- You really care, don't you?
- Of course I do.
People gotta stick
together and...
help each other out, don't they?
Well, that's what
I always thought.
[SIGHS]
Wow, you really look
dynamite in that dress.
And, um...
you're gonna be dynamite
on that radio show.
[INAUDIBLE]
[LAUGHS] Oh, boy, that
Clénet sure beats the heck out of
any car I've ever driven.
Your keys, Madam.
And my thanks.
That was the kiss of
the greatest quarterback
Ohio Wesleyan's ever seen?
What's the matter?
[CHUCKLES] Well, it's
just that I'm not used to
doing this sort
of thing in a foyer.
Oh, well, how about a bedroom?
Like mine, in five minutes.
[CHUCKLES]
You got yourself a deal.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Hello, Miss Murphy.
- May we come in?
- Well, I am kind of busy.
I felt we should
continue the discussion
- we began in my office.
- Oh, oh, it's okay, Mr. Roarke.
Um, I think I was just
a little over-anxious.
We came here to talk
about the real reason
for your fantasy.
-[DOOR CLOSING] -Real reason?
Yes. Yes.
You don't want respect
from your old friends.
You want revenge.
Those women
humiliated you in college.
You brought them here...
to do to them what
they did to you.
- Am I not correct?
- Well, so what if I did?
They hurt me.
In college, Liz took away
the one thing I needed most,
my self-respect.
Well, I'm gonna do
the same thing to her...
by taking away her husband.
Will you excuse us, Miss Murphy?
Tattoo.
Come on, Gus,
just listen to him.
He's really good.
Do it as a favor to me.
Please?
Do it as a favor to you?
- Sure, baby.
- Oh, thanks, Gus. [CHUCKLES]
You're not going
to regret it! [SIGHS]
- You bet I won't.
- [DOOR CLOSING]
Long time no see.
♪ Can't you hear
The pitter-pat ♪
♪ And the happy
tune Is your step ♪
♪ Life can be so sweet... ♪
So? What do you think?
DIGGS: ♪ On the sunny
side Of the street... ♪
Not bad. Not bad.
DIGGS: ♪ I used to
walk In the shade ♪
♪ With those blues on parade ♪
♪ But now I'm not afraid ♪
♪ 'Cause this rover
Done crossed over ♪
♪ If I never have a cent... ♪
Let's talk about it.
DIGGS: ♪ I will be
rich As Rockefeller ♪
♪ With gold dust at my feet ♪
♪ On the sunny
side Of the street ♪
♪ On the sunny ♪
♪ Sunny side of the street ♪
[SIGHS]
So what do you think?
Can you get him on that
radio show tomorrow night?
Listen, baby, you asked
me to listen, and I listened.
But there's only, uh,
three spots tomorrow night.
Fingers, yours, and the band.
Now, I did you a favor.
-Where's mine? -Hey now.
Come on, Gus,
what are you doing?
- Time to pay up.
- Uh-uh, no, forget it.
Are you telling me no?
With a capital N.
Okay, Whelan, you're
on tomorrow night.
You've got a spot.
- Hey, congratulations.
- I got a spot, I got a spot!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Your spot.
He's in and you're out.
DOREEN: Hi, everybody!
I don't believe it.
[CHUCKLES] We've been
looking all over for you two.
What have you been doing?
[SIGHS] Well, I sure
hope you're hungry,
because I had my chef prepare
the biggest the rack of
lamb you've ever seen.
Shall we?
DOREEN: Good morning, everybody.
- Where's Al?
- LIZ: He's still asleep.
Apparently, he didn't
get much sleep last night.
Brooke, let's go make
the beds or something.
Good plan.
Well, maybe some
nice, hot breakfast
will get your mind off
whatever's bothering you.
So, little Dory thinks
that for once in her life
she has the upper hand.
Rubbing our noses
in all her money,
making a play for my husband.
Don't think I don't
know what you're up to.
When it comes to doing
numbers on people's heads,
I'm an expert.
Well, you had enough practice
on me in college, didn't you?
[GASPS]
I should have
known it all along.
You flew us out here
so you could try
to even the score.
Did you think I was
just gonna forget about
what the three of you did?
You treated me like dirt.
You made me feel ugly
and stupid and worthless!
Well, I'm not! You can ask
your husband about that.
I'm afraid I have some
bad news for you, sweetie.
My husband... is all yours.
What?
Number one, all he's
after is your money.
And number two, in case
you haven't noticed it yet,
Al's got an ego
the size of Texas.
Having grown rather
tired of feeding it,
[SIGHS] I'd be delighted
to let you take over.
In other words...
you can have him.
DIGGS: Mr. Schultz.
Mr. Schultz, sir.
-Mr. Schultz. -Get in.
Yeah, I want to talk to
you about Linda Bell, sir.
Shut up.
Okay.
You told me Lucky Luciano
was gonna let them do
the radio show from his club.
You lied.
Yeah, well, you see I... I...
Hey, Glover,
Fleckenstein's short.
Go explain to him
I meant what I said.
His... his left kneecap ought
to understand. [CHUCKLES]
Ever since Luciano
heard I'm letting them do
the radio show from my club,
he's been laughing
up his sleeve at me.
I don't like that.
I don't blame you, sir, but,
you see, it's about Linda.
She got fired for
no apparent reason.
Get out!
[SIGHS] Okay.
DUTCH: Hey!
If that radio show
ain't a big hit tonight,
if Luciano's still
laughing at me tomorrow,
your breathing
days is over, Whelan.
- Drive, Glover.
- You don't understand!
Linda's got to sing tonight!
Linda's got to
sing tonight, man!
[PIANO PLAYING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[PLAYING STOPS]
[SOBS]
[SNIFFLES]
[SNIFFLES]
Hi.
Hi.
Can I talk to you, please?
[LINDA CLEARS THROAT]
[LINDA SNIFFLES]
I was, uh, thinking maybe
I'd paint the place, you know,
now that I got so much
time on my hands, uh...
I just came by to tell
you how sorry I am
that, you know, I
took your spot and all.
[SOBBING] It doesn't
matter, really, I...
Oh, my God, look
what I've done to you.
Really, uh, it
isn't your fault, I...
I'll get a break someday. My...
my dream will come
true, just like yours did.
Yeah, thanks to you.
Oh, well, maybe I
helped some, but...
that's what Cotton
Club is all about,
helping each other,
seeing that the cream gets
a chance to rise to the top.
You're cream.
I could tell that
from the very first.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-Miss Murphy. -Oh, Mr. Roarke.
Hi, Tattoo.
You specifically asked
that an extravagant party
like this be part
of your fantasy.
Well, you are the hostess.
You should be out there
impressing your old friends,
enjoying the limelight.
What are you doing here hiding?
[SCOFFS] Exactly that,
hiding from Liz's husband, Al.
-Oh? -Oh, Mr. Roarke, I blew it.
I just wanted to take Al
away from Liz for the weekend.
He wants to make it permanent.
Why don't you tell him
the truth about yourself?
I can't do that.
If I do that, Liz and
Sheila and Brooke
will know this has
all been a put-on,
and I'll look like a
bigger loser than ever.
I don't believe I've
met your friend, uh, Liz.
- Where is she?
- Oh, she's up in her room,
probably laughing at me.
Turns out she could
care less about Al.
You're certain of
that, Miss Murphy?
Yeah, of course I'm
certain. She told me herself.
You're not
suggesting she's lying?
Well, in light of
your current problem,
it would seem
worth checking into,
would it not?
Hey, Dory, there you are.
- Oh.
- [LAUGHING] Hi, I'm Al Adams.
Oh, excuse me,
uh, this is Mr. Roarke
and his assistant Tattoo.
Uh, how do you do?
Whoop, wait. [CHUCKLES]
- Ah, nice to meet you.
- Mr. Adams.
- Nice to meet you too.
- How do you do?
Hey, Dory, these friends
of yours are outstanding.
I mean, you talk about
class. [CHUCKLING]
[MUNCHES]
You know what,
that guy over there,
he runs a modeling agency.
Who knows, if I
play my cards right,
I might wind up
on the cover of GQ.
[LAUGHING]
-[LAUGHS] -[CHUCKLES]
Well, you just keep
on mingling, Al.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I,
uh, have something to check out.
Sure.
Want a carrot?
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
[SNIFFLES]
[SNIFFLES]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Who is it? -DOREEN: Dory.
[SNIFFLING, SIGHS]
Come in.
If it isn't the hostess
with the mostest.
Shouldn't you be outside
with your future husband?
- You've been crying.
- I've been drinking.
May you and Al and
all his football trophies
live happily ever after.
You really do care
about Al after all.
Shows how much you know.
Damn it, Liz! All you
ever do is belittle me.
You did it in college,
and you're doing it now.
How have I hurt you?
Why is it so important to you
to make me feel unimportant?
You're the one
with all the brains.
You figure it out.
You were jealous.
Not just now, but back then too.
Jealous? Of you?
[SCOFFS]
You were the little
nothing, weren't you?
[SNIFFLES]
All you ever had
was your good looks
and your parents' money.
No brains, no talent.
And you left
school with a degree
that I earned for
you and a husband.
Well, looks like you're
not going to have him
very much longer, doesn't
it, Miss Happily Married?
[SNIFFLES]
[SOBBING]
- Liz, I'm sorry.
- Why? It's the truth!
[SOBS]
Come on,
you've got a new
leaf to turn over.
- Where are we going?
- To the party.
No offense, Liz, but
Al's really not my type.
And now that I know
you really love him,
you're getting back
together again. Come on.
But... but, Dory...
I'm a mess.
There's no way Al's
even going to look at me.
Boy, do I have a
surprise for you.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Oh, hi, Mr. Schultz.
Hey, it's a big night for you
and the Cotton Club, huh?
Those microphones
really look impressive,
- don't they?
- Yeah, just two minutes
until this big deal
broadcast starts.
And there's nobody out there
but our regular customers.
Well, Mr. Schultz, see, you
looking at it the wrong way.
Uh, you got to think about
the people that's at home
listening to the radios.
There's hundreds
of thousands of them.
- I want it to hurt.
- You want what to hurt?
When Ralphie here kills you.
[MUSIC ENDS, PATRONS APPLAUD]
From the Cotton
Club, from Harlem,
from New York City,
live, a broadcasting first!
An hour of magical music.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the great Fingers Lewis
and the Cotton Club Band!
[PATRONS CHEER AND APPLAUD]
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, Al.
Hi.
Hey, uh, what
happened? You look...
Well, um, you look
different. [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
This is the real
me, Al. And, um...
so is this.
AL: Savings account passbook?
The balance represents
the sum total of my net worth.
[LAUGHS]
Eight hundred and
three dollars? [LAUGHS]
Come on. I don't understand.
If you ask real nicely,
maybe, uh, Liz will fill you in.
That's Liz?
Hello, everyone.
[CHUCKLES] Wow!
Wow, Liz, you
look... you look great!
Um, hey listen,
you wait right here.
I'll get you some
champagne, huh?
Wow look at...
This... this is Liz.
Don't go away now. I...
I'm going to be right back.
Whoa!
[LAUGHING]
He's panting like a puppy
dog, like when you first met him.
Oh, remember, the necklace
is only good for tonight.
[GASPS] Don't worry.
Now that I've got his attention,
I intend to keep it. [GASPS]
Maybe I can even
get him to put those
damn football
trophies up in the attic
-where they belong. -[CHUCKLES]
Well, that's pretty
radical, don't you think?
My future is going
to be ten times better
than my past ever was.
Thank you, Dory.
Dory, this is absolutely
the best party I've been to
since the one that got the
Betas kicked off campus.
-[ALL LAUGH] -Oh, did you do
something different
to your hair?
Uh, well, it's a long story.
It reminds me of the way
you used to wear it in school.
I like it.
Oh, hey, remember how you
used to set my hair in school?
And how you used to do
Brooke's laundry for her
because she was so lazy,
and how you used to go
to class for Liz and
take all her tests for her.
Yeah, yeah, I
remember. [CHUCKLES]
You deserve to be rich
and important, my darling,
because nobody should
depend on someone
the way we depended on you.
I'll say, you were
really terrific.
Correction. She is terrific.
You know what the best
thing about this party is?
Us.
ALL: Oh...
[ALL GIGGLING]
ALL: Hooray, hooray!
We're gonna stay together!
[PLAYING PIANO]
-Hello again, Mr. Whelan. -Oh.
Are you ready to start
your singing career?
Am I ever. Look at me,
I'm a nervous wreck.
Oh...
Oh, is that your friend
Linda over there?
Yeah. She came!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
What's going to happen
to her, Mr. Roarke?
Is she going to ever
make it as a singer?
Oh, I think that's
something you would know
much better than I, Mr. Whelan.
[PATRONS APPLAUD]
That was Fingers Lewis.
And now for the final number
in our live broadcast tonight.
Coming to you direct
from the Cotton Club,
ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Diggs Whelan!
[PATRONS APPLAUDING]
FINGERS: One, two, three.
[JAZZ MUSIC STARTS]
♪ Grab your coat
And get your hat ♪
♪ Leave your worries
On the doorstep ♪
♪ Just direct your feet ♪
♪ To the sunny
side Of the street ♪
♪ Hear that... pitter-pat... ♪
[BAND STOPS PLAYING]
Oh, what is this?
First, he talks me into
doing the lousy show,
then he ruins it!
Suddenly, I don't care
if people think I'm tacky.
Get him!
Ladies and gentlemen,
there's been a change
in the program this evening.
We'd like to bring up a
very beautiful young lady,
Miss Linda Bell, who's
going to sing for you,
"Birth of the Blues."
Come on up, Linda.
Linda Bell, ladies
and gentlemen.
Come on, hey.
[ALL APPLAUD]
- DIGGS: Come on, Linda.
- [ALL CHEERING]
DIGGS: Miss Linda Bell.
[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]
Hey...
What the hell are you doing?
For the first time in my
life, I'm doing the right thing.
You belong here,
Linda, and I don't.
This is your time, baby.
Give me something
beautiful to remember you by.
Really sing me a good song.
Hit it, Fingers.
[PIANO PLAYING]
♪ From a whippoorwill ♪
♪ Out on a hill ♪
♪ They took a new note ♪
♪ Pushed it through a horn ♪
♪ Till it was worn ♪
♪ Into a blue note... ♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪ They heard the
breeze In the trees ♪
♪ Singing weird melodies ♪
♪ And they made that ♪
♪ The start of the blues ♪
♪ And from a jail ♪
♪ Came the wail ♪
♪ Of a down-hearted frail ♪
♪ And they played that ♪
♪ As part of the blues ♪
♪ From a whippoorwill
Out on a hill ♪
♪ They took a new note ♪
♪ Pushed it through a horn ♪
♪ Till it was worn ♪
♪ Into a blue note ♪
♪ And then they nursed it... ♪
DUTCH: Hey, Ralphie!
LINDA: ♪ And they rehearsed it ♪
♪ And gave out the news ♪
♪ That the Southland ♪
♪ Gave birth to the blues ♪
- ♪ From a whippoorwill ♪
- ♪ From a whippoorwill ♪
- ♪ Out on a hill ♪
- ♪ Out on a hill ♪
- ♪ They took a new note ♪
- ♪ They took a new note ♪
- ♪ They pushed it ♪
- ♪ They pushed it ♪
- ♪ Through a horn ♪
- ♪ Through a horn ♪
- ♪ Until it was worn ♪
- ♪ Until it was worn ♪
- ♪ Into a blue note ♪
- ♪ Into a blue note ♪
- ♪ And then they nursed it... ♪
- ♪ And then they nursed it... ♪
The place is overflowing.
People that usually
go to Lucky Luciano's
are coming here
because of what they heard
-on the radio. -How about that!
[CHUCKLES] Well,
like I always said,
this radio gimmick is
here to stay. [CHUCKLES]
Am I a genius or what?
BOTH: ♪ Gave
birth to the blues ♪
- ♪ And then they nursed it ♪
- ♪ And then they nursed it ♪
- ♪ Rehearsed it ♪
- ♪ Rehearsed it ♪
- ♪ And gave out the news ♪
- ♪ And gave out the news ♪
- ♪ That the Southland ♪
- ♪ That the Southland ♪
-♪ Gave birth ♪ -♪ Gave birth ♪
- ♪ To the blues ♪
- ♪ To the blues ♪
-[MUSIC ENDS] -[ALL
CHEER AND APPLAUD]
MAN: One more time! Oh!
One more time! One more time!
[BAND STARTS PLAYING]
LINDA: ♪ And then
they nursed it... ♪
It's time to go, Mr. Whelan.
♪ And they gave out the news ♪
♪ That the Southland ♪
♪ Gave birth ♪
♪ To the blues ♪
♪ And then they
nursed it Rehearsed it ♪
♪ And gave out the news ♪
♪ That the Southland ♪
[ALL CHEERING]
♪ Gave birth ♪
♪ To the blues ♪
-[MUSIC ENDS] -[ALL
CHEER AND APPLAUD]
I wanted to go for
one last spin in that.
I hope it's okay.
Oh, that's quite all
right, Miss Murphy.
Where are your guests?
Oh, I put them on
an earlier plane.
But not before making them
promise to keep in touch.
Oh, before I forget...
here.
I never needed that, or
the car, or any of that stuff.
My three friends were
impressed with just plain old me.
- Thank you, Mr. Roarke.
- You're welcome, Miss Murphy.
-Bye, Tattoo. -Goodbye.
Well, I guess it's goodbye, huh?
I hope you're not too
mad at me, Mr. Whelan.
Mad? Why should I be mad?
Well, you didn't
get your fantasy.
You know, your singing career.
Well, I did start
a singing career.
It just wasn't mine, Tattoo.
I wouldn't be too
sure, Mr. Whelan.
You see, the man you
thought was Dutch Schultz
was actually a
guest just like you.
It was his fantasy to
be a part-time gangster.
-So? -Well, in real life,
Mr. Schultz runs a
nightclub in San Francisco.
He's been looking for
someone to sing there
on a regular basis, and
it seems he's found him.
All right! Thank
you, Mr. Roarke.
- You're very welcome.
- All right, Too'.
Hey, get down, man. Oh, man.
Boss, it's such a nice word.
What word is that?
Friends.
[♪♪♪♪♪]