[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[BELL CLANGING]
The plane. The plane.
[WOMEN CHATTERING]
- Good morning, boss.
- Good morning, Tattoo.
[GIRLS CHATTERING]
Smiles, everyone.
Smiles.
[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
TATTOO: Boss, who's that man?
MR. ROARKE: His
name is Mr. Fred Simpson.
TATTOO: He looks
kind of nervous.
MR. ROARKE: Perhaps,
because he's suffering
from a very
distressing affliction.
You see, Tattoo,
Mr. Simpson is a kleptomaniac.
A crook?
Boss, are you sure you
locked up the safe in the office?
Perhaps, I should explain
something to you, Tattoo.
With Mr. Simpson as
with all kleptomaniacs,
the urge is to
steal is not because
of personal desire
or monetary rewards.
It's simply an
obsession with them,
a psychological
disorder, really.
What's his fantasy?
MR. ROARKE: His
fantasy is to be free forever
of this compulsion to steal,
which I suspect will
require a great deal
of ingenuity on our
part to accomplish.
TATTOO: The pretty
lady with Mr. Simpson?
MR. ROARKE: No, no, Tattoo,
the young lady
is Emily Carlisle.
She's a courier
from a very high-priced
New York jewelry company.
She's come to Fantasy
Island to make a delivery.
She was on the
plane with a thief?
I thought I just explained
that to you, Tattoo.
TATTOO: Boss, that's
Loretta, the waitress
who sling hash at
the lodge restaurant?
That's right, Tattoo.
However, for the next two days,
you will refer to her as
Mrs. Loretta Wentworth,
of Wentworth mansion.
But, boss, that's crazy.
Yesterday, she served
me a hillbilly hamburger
with onions.
MR. ROARKE: Nevertheless,
today, she is Mrs. Wentworth,
an elegant lady of
wealth and social position.
TATTOO: I get it, boss.
Her fantasy is to be the
opposite of a hash slinger.
MR. ROARKE: Her fantasy, Tattoo,
is to be the fine
lady of social status
she believes her daughter
Lorraine wants her to be.
But, boss, her daughter
will know the truth about her.
No, no, Tattoo.
You see, Mrs.
Wentworth and her child
haven't seen each other
since the little girl was
given up for adoption
when only nine months old.
Hmm.
My dear guests,
I am Mr. Roarke, your host.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
MR. SIMPSON: It's just so
embarrassing, Mr. Roarke.
Even my best friends
don't want me around.
TATTOO: You mean you
steal from your friends?
I can't help it.
Naturally, when I
realize what I've done,
I return the stuff.
If it's valuable, I
give them cash too,
double the amount of
whatever I stole is worth.
But my friends are getting
little tired of my habit
and so am I.
Now, tell me, Mr. Simpson,
just what happens
when this urge to
steal overcomes you?
Well, first of all,
I only steal things
that are shiny.
Shiny?
Yeah, if I see something shiny,
then I freeze up for a second
and then this boing sound
goes around in my head.
Boing sound?
Next thing I know I've
stolen something again.
I've tried everything,
Mr. Roarke. Nothing works.
You've got to help me.
Well, I can't guarantee you
that I can cure
you, Mr. Simpson.
But I will do
everything in my power
to help you cure yourself, huh?
- That's all I'm asking.
- Very well.
In the meantime,
I will assign Tattoo
to stay with you
and shall we say...
keep him out of trouble.
[RELIEVED SIGH]
Oh, and, Mr. Simpson,
my pen, if you please.
MR. SIMPSON: Sorry.
I couldn't help myself.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
[SWANS CRYING]
Am I really gonna fool anybody
in this fancy get
up, Mr. Roarke?
Well, you look absolutely
charming, Mrs. Wentworth,
doesn't she, Tattoo?
Yes, boss, and the dog too.
Well, to tell you the truth,
I prefer animals that
walk on their own legs.
Ah, but for the impression
that you wish to create,
I assure you the lap
dog is most appropriate,
which is what you
meant, isn't it, Tattoo?
- Sure, boss, sure.
- I thought so.
Well, I just hope
I haven't bitten off
more than I can chew.
Why do you say that?
Well, I want more than
anything in this world
for Lorraine to be proud
of me when she sees me.
And you know yourself, I'm
just a plain old country girl.
You may be a country
girl, Mrs. Wentworth,
but you are also a lady
who gave up her dream
to become a professional
country singer years ago.
Instead, you worked
hard your entire life
to give your daughter
every social advantage
and a fine education.
And I'm proud I did too.
She's worth every
blue plate special
and every tray of
beer I've served.
My daughter is a
beautiful young lady now.
But I thought you said
that you didn't see her.
Oh, Joe and Nancy Ogden,
the couple that adopted Lorraine
sends me a picture
of her every year.
-[PHONE RINGS] -Excuse me.
But your daughter
has never seen a
photograph of you
even though you sent
her money all these years,
supported her?
Well, she accidentally
found out a few months ago
that she was adopted
and she kind of wanted to see
what her real mama looked
like before she got married.
-I see. -Excuse me, boss.
The steamship is here
and your daughter Lorraine
is gonna be here soon.
Oh, she mustn't see me yet.
That will spoil everything.
Go meet them,
Tattoo, will you, please?
No problem.
Now.
Well, it seems to me,
that with us planning
a fancy wedding
here on Fantasy Island
the least Mr. Roarke can do
is to be here when we arrive.
Don't worry, Mrs. Ogden,
everything is under control.
Nancy had a rough trip over
on the steamer. [CHUCKLES]
Motion sickness, you know.
I'm sorry.
Most likely all that
rich food and
champagne day and night.
I was just making sure
you had a good time, my dear.
It was a wonderful.
Thank you, Nancy and Joe.
It was like a beautiful
four-day party.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, give me
a little credit too.
All that dancing and
all that romancing.
Oh, Earl, you know
how wonderful you are.
Yeah.
When do I get to see
my mother, Tattoo?
Lor... Mrs.
Wentworth is preparing
a wonderful reception
in your honor tomorrow.
- Oh, that's wonderful, isn't it?
- Great.
In the meantime,
my driver will drive
you to your bungalow
and then you can
do some sightseeing.
I've got to go
now. See you soon.
Excuse me.
I have got business
to take care of.
But don't move from here.
Okay?
Fred.
Is this what you
call not moving?
If you'll excuse me, I
have to powder my nose.
[GASPS]
My dress. My broach.
My God, somebody
has stolen my broach.
It's gone. Somebody stole it!
-I've got it. Here it is. -Oh!
You, you stole my broach.
Don't touch me, you pervert.
Don't touch me.
[SOBBING] Don't
just sit there. Help me.
This is terrible.
Wow!
I've been lost in smaller
places than this, Mr. Roarke.
I'm delighted you're pleased.
Scared to death is what I am.
Do you think I'm gonna
be able to pull this thing off,
you know, pretending
I'm something I'm not?
With the help of some
close friends, Ms. Wentworth.
I am myself will act
as your butler, madam.
Oh, boy.
Yes. And may I
present your associates.
Ms. Doris Lee,
your personal maid.
Mr. Otis McAlister,
butler's assistant and chef.
And Mr. Buford Joe Skogins,
chauffeur and general factotum.
[LORETTA GASPING]
[STUTTERING] Handyman.
LORETTA: Oh, boy, thank you.
- We're in with you all the way.
- [ALL LAUGHING]
Mr. Roarke, I hope you
know what you're doing
'cause I don't know
if I'm gonna have
enough money left over
after bringing Lorraine and
all of them over on the boat
to pay you for all this.
I've never heard you
perform. Mrs. Wentworth,
I'll consider myself amply paid
if you sing something
for me now, will you?
I'd love to Mr. Roarke.
But I didn't bring a...
Thanks, Mr. Roarke.
I guess maybe this
song will set it off for me.
[STRUMMING CHORDS]
♪ I was born to be country ♪
♪ But my little
girl Doesn’t see ♪
♪ She wants me to
be Somebody else ♪
♪ But I just want to be me ♪
♪ Everybody's got a dream ♪
♪ But most dreams
Don't come true ♪
♪ They all dream
The same old way ♪
♪ I must've dreamed
Something new ♪
♪ My little girl
Just can't see ♪
♪ That I've found my fairyland ♪
♪ All those wishes
On all those stars ♪
♪ Can't change who I am ♪
[MUSIC STOPS]
Thank you.
[CLEARS THROAT] I...
I hate to drop a weasel
in a chicken yard,
but we're all due back at
work for the next shift and...
Oh, I'm gonna go with you.
The party ain't till tomorrow
and frankly, Mr. Roarke,
I could really use the money.
I understand.
Let's get out of these clothes
and get to work.
[DOG WHINING]
Hey, look at all
this pulchritude.
Yeah, and pretty
girls too. [CHUCKLES]
Thank you.
Is this the office?
Yes, I'm Emily Carlisle.
I was wondering when
Mrs. Vanderclef is due in.
No, it's just that
I'm carrying something
very valuable in my purse
that I'm supposed
to deliver to her.
She wants to wear it
to Prince Rudolph's
coronation ball
when she returns to Europe.
Can't you at least
give me an idea
when you're expecting her?
[SIGHS]
Then I just think I'll
drop it off with Mr. Roarke
for safekeeping
until she gets here.
Thanks.
[SIGHS]
Look, I've got to check
the dinner menu for tonight.
I want you to stay here
and don't get in trouble.
Now stay put. I'll be a minute.
-Okay? -Okay.
Why don't you watch
what you're doing?
-Did you see that? -Yeah.
The thing is, nobody else did.
Come on.
I may go to the
coronation ball myself.
That dumb guy.
My bag... It's gone!
Somebody stole my bag.
Oh, no.
EMILY: I've got to find it.
If I don't, I'll lose my job.
I might even go to prison.
Stay here.
You know, Loretta,
you should have
taken the day off.
Tomorrow is so
important for you.
I'd split the tips with you.
Oh, thanks, Doris,
but to stay in that
big country club
with the house
for myself, no way.
Girl, with a house like
that wouldn't have to be
by herself very long.
You know what I mean?
[GASPS] Ouch. Darn. Darn it.
Oh, honey,
go put something
on that right now
and I'll take care
of your table.
Thank you.
Come on, Earl.
It's an ordinary cup of coffee.
It's not gonna
permanently injure you.
Besides, I think this
place is kind of quaint.
EARL: I had plans to a drive
off around the island with...
with a little champagne
on the beach,
swim in the warm surf and...
And I know all the rest.
Can I help it if
you're irresistible
which is more than I
can say about this... joint?
Well, my instincts say
that their coffee
is out of this world.
Uh-huh.
Oh, Miss.
LORETTA: Menus?
No, thank you.
Just two coffees
with cream and sugar.
LORETTA: Oh,
that's my little girl.
- Not bad for a hash slinger.
- [CHUCKLES]
Earl, you are a snob.
Is that why I love you?
Probably. [CHUCKLES]
-Probably. -Yeah.
Are you all right, Loretta?
You look like you've
seen a ghost or something.
Shh, I have.
That's her.
Don't look.
Now, look.
Over at the table
by the door, the girl.
Okay.
- That's her, huh?
- LORETTA: That's her.
Wow.
She's some kind of pretty.
Who's her?
That's Lorraine, my daughter.
That must be her fiancé.
-Don't look. -Ow!
- I think I busted something.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
But we can't let
them get a good look
at any of us or they'll
recognize us tomorrow.
What are we gonna do?
You go warn Doris and Otis.
God, ain't she pretty?
Loretta would
tell me all about it.
All the plans are set.
She told me to come
back and talk to you two.
[LAUGHS] Don't look.
-Thank you. -Mmm-hmm.
Thanks.
That little girl of
mine is not gonna
marry that wondering-hand Romeo.
I don't care what kind of
fancy pedigree he's got.
Cover for me, honey.
I've got something
real important to do.
Did anyone see a
man carrying a purse?
[ALL LAUGHING]
MR. SIMPSON: Wow.
Beautiful.
Boy, am I in trouble now.
Whoa!
[GROANING] Wait a minute. Wait.
[GRUNTING]
Ahhh!
TATTOO: Boss! Boss!
You mean you stole the purse.
Then someone stole it from you?
Even Ripley wouldn't
believe this one.
Well, as I mentioned to Tattoo,
the lady from whom
you stole the purse
is a courier.
The necklace inside the purse
was worth... $ , .
$ , ?
Do you know what that
means, Mr. Simpson?
It gets worse.
MR. ROARKE: Oh, indeed, it does.
It means that Ms.
Carlisle's employer
has ordered an immediate
investigation of the theft.
Pending its results,
he had her placed in jail.
However, in light
of your confession,
Ms. Carlisle can now be released
and the real thief
will take her place.
-You. -Me?
But, Mr. Roarke,
I saw the guy who
really stole the necklace.
You did?
Well, kind of.
I was upside down.
What he's trying to say
is he only saw his shoes.
His shoes?
Yeah. I got a hell of
a good look at them.
Well, I regret to say
this, Mr. Simpson,
but I'll have to notify
the island police.
Don't worry. I'll
get you out on bail.
MR. ROARKE: Oh,
I'm sorry, Tattoo.
But since you've admitted
being with Mr. Simpson at the time
the purse and the
necklace inside was stolen,
that makes you an accomplice.
Oh, I do hate to
see you go to jail too.
But... my hands are tied.
Boss, do I really
have to go to jail?
Well, how would you handle
it if you were in my place?
Well, I... You know...
You see what I mean?
[DIALING]
Look, I just wanna say
I'm really sorry
about this, Tattoo.
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
Thanks.
LORETTA: All I'm asking you is
will you please
postpone the wedding,
just give my daughter
a little more time
to get to know this
Earl What's-His-Name
a little better.
And she'll catch on
to what kind of a
bum he really is.
What he really
is, is a young man
who is heir to the
Brookfield oil fortune.
This is the thanks
we get for seeing that
Lorraine meets
the right young man.
This Earl is not the
right young man.
He's a leg grabbing,
skirt chaser.
He'd make my
daughter' life miserable.
Believe me. I know the type.
I can imagine.
Yeah, but maybe you
don't hear too good.
Earl is a rich, young man.
And he's promised to
take care of all of us.
Now, it comes out.
Your little bird's
leaving its nest.
That cuts off my
money supply, don't it?
All you care about is a
bigger and a better meal ticket.
[SCOFFS]
We've never given a thought
to our own future. [CHUCKLING]
Oh, quit whining, Joe.
We've got a right to
think of ourselves a little.
After all, we adopted Lorraine.
We brought her up,
and we don't need
any suggestions
from any outsiders now.
The good Lord made me her mother
and there's nothing
anybody can do about it.
All I want is what's
best for Lorraine.
What's best for her
is what we think
is best for her.
And that's Earl
Brookfield the III.
And I'm not gonna
let that happen.
We only agreed to this farce
because Lorraine wanted it.
Well, you open your mouth
to spoil our chances and
me tell you something.
I'll ruin this whole rich
lady charade of yours.
And I'll tell Lorraine
what a phony you
really are, sweetheart.
Now, get out of
here and let us alone,
Mrs. Wentworth.
MR. SIMPSON: Sorry.
I just can't help myself.
Well, what do you mean
you can't help yourself?
He's a sicky.
Well, what Tattoo means
is I'm a kleptomaniac.
Oh, well, I'm sorry.
But do you know
that I'll probably lose
my job because of you?
Look, Ms. Carlisle, I didn't
mean to get you in trouble.
We're gonna get your
necklace back for you
just as soon as
we get out of here.
[SCOFFS] In years, I
probably won't even care.
No, no, the bails bondsman.
He's on his way over here now.
We got a clue.
A clue?
His shoes.
Shoes?
Yeah, the guy that grabbed
me and took the necklace away,
I got a look at his shoes.
Now, all I have to do
is find out who was
wearing those shoes.
Oh, Fred, you
mean you really think
we might get the necklace back?
-Well... -Oh, Fred.
[MOANING]
[CHUCKLES]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Madam Wentworth
will be with you shortly.
I've never been so
nervous in my life.
Relax, sweetheart. And
one thing I'll say for her.
Your mother has
taste, a lot of class,
and money, lots of it.
Yeah, hasn't she?
Excellent. Excellent.
You all look absolutely perfect.
I'm the best short order cook
south of the
Mason-Dixon, Mr. Roarke.
But I'm lost in the swamp
when it comes to
this uptown grub.
All has been prepared
for you, McAlister.
Just light the fires
under the pots.
And don't burn
anything. Now, you two,
just carry the hors d'oeuvres
trays from the kitchen
and pass them around.
Don't worry. I'll keep
an eye on things.
Better keep an eye
on me too, Mr. Roarke.
I feel like Mrs.
Esther's pet horse.
You are stunning, Mrs.
Wentworth, stunning.
Your daughter should
be very proud of you.
Now, go in and meet her.
Mr. Skogins.
You're beautiful.
Mother?
Baby.
Next to the day you were born,
this is the happiest
day of my life.
MR. SIMPSON: If I find
the shoes, I can find the guy.
[GRUNTING]
This is the life, huh, Vic?
I think the only thing to do
is hit the restaurants again.
- Is it okay with you, friend?
- Hold it.
There they are.
That's it?
That's it.
Now, the question is
who's gonna be the one
who finds out who fits in them?
[GROANING]
[GASPS] Let's go.
We've got to get dressed.
We might have a problem.
Do you know who he is?
Yes, he's Mr. Razik.
He's staying at
the Lilac Bungalow
with the other man.
Oh, that's probably where
they're keeping the necklace.
What do we do now?
I don't know. I
better ask the boss.
Don't leave him
out of your sight
for one minute.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
You should be very
happy, Mrs. Wentworth.
I would be if it wasn't for
that snake in the grass.
Huh? Which snake is that?
Earl Brookfield the III.
[LAUGHING]
Well, it's not the biggest
yacht in the world.
But it's... It's about foot.
My daddy always told me
when you buys something,
make sure it's big.
He can't keep his
eyes or hands off
of anything that's
got a skirt on.
I'm not gonna let my daughter
marry into that kind of trouble.
Now, assuming what
you're saying is true,
what can you do about it?
I've been thinking about that.
Just give me a few minutes
and then bring her
out on the porch. Okay?
Of course, if you are certain
you know what you are doing.
Charming party, Mrs. Wentworth.
Oh, Loretta, please.
Loretta, of course.
To our charming, gracious
and beautiful hostess.
LORETTA: We haven't
had too much of a chance
to get acquainted,
have we, Earl?
No, but that can always
be, shall we say, remedied.
Just what kind of remedy
do you have in mind?
Oh, I was thinking
about lesson number one,
the Brookfield technique of
instant and rewarding romance.
[CHATTERING]
You're pretty much of a
mystery to everyone, you know,
that is as much a mystery as
a woman can be. [CHUCKLES]
Earl, you're a nice young
man, but what about Lorraine?
You're getting married.
She's everything you'd
want your daughter to be.
She's dear, sweet, innocent
but very, very immature.
-Quit. -LORRAINE: Earl.
You, you...
And you...
I don't ever wanna see
either one of you again, ever.
MR. SIMPSON:
Sure, we think we know
who stole the necklace.
What we don't have is proof.
Then there's only
one logical solution.
You've got to steal the
necklace back for me.
What, I have
never stole anything
on purpose in my
life. I'm afraid to.
[SCOFFS] Then I'll just
have to get it back myself.
Now, those two men
are in the restaurant.
I saw them go in.
I'll just take my chances
that they stay in there
while I'll search
their bungalow.
Wait a minute.
I'm going with you.
Oh, you don't have to do that.
Look. I got you into
this. Remember?
Emily,
look, I've never
gone out on a limb
for anyone in my life.
I'm always been too
busy, trying to get ahead,
trying to run my business.
Well, now is my chance.
I wanna be your limb.
I'm... starting to have this
real special feeling for you.
You are?
Uh-huh.
Oh.
I've been looking
for you, Lorraine.
I don't think you
got the message.
I don't want anything
to do with you.
I know.
And I'll go.
But first, honey, I
want you to listen.
Why should I?
Because you deserve
to know the truth.
That's why.
I saw that, didn't I?
No.
You saw a mother trying
to save her only daughter
from a life of pain.
I had to show you
what kind of a man
you were gonna marry.
You see, honey,
I've seen a lot of Earl
Brookfield the III's.
Your father was one of them,
without the money or the name.
I made a mistake.
And before you were
born, he was long gone
chasing after some other woman.
And... where we
lived is mining country
and there were
times we didn't have...
food for the table or
roof over our head.
And I did the best
thing I thought for you.
I gave you up for adoption.
And that's been
the saddest mistake
I ever made in my life.
That's all very
touching, Mother.
But times aren't nearly so
bad for you now, are they?
Oh, you mean these
fine clothes and jewels
and big uptown country house?
This is Fantasy Island, baby.
Mr. Roarke set all
this up. Ask him.
I only get to wear this
finery for the weekend.
[SCOFFS] What are you saying?
I made a mistake.
But I gave up my
chance of being somebody
and all the years it takes
to be a country singer.
Instead I slung hash
and served beer in
every h*nky-tonk bar
from Houston,
Texas, to Tallahassee.
And I sent you the money,
so you would have nice clothes,
a good education
and a real sh*t at life.
Are you saying that
you sent the money
and supported me?
All these years, it was you?
Joe and Nancy deserve
a lot of credit, honey.
But I served a lifetime of beers
and sent the money to you.
I have a trunk load of
canceled checks to prove it.
Joe and Nancy never
mentioned your help ever.
I may never
forgive them for that.
But they were there every day,
changed my diapers,
they wiped my nose.
They raised me.
You understand what I'm saying?
More than you'll
ever know, baby.
More than you'll ever know.
Thank you for
telling me the truth.
MR. SIMPSON: I know the
necklace has got to be in here.
It wasn't in the living room,
so it's got to be in
here somewhere.
I'll check these drawers.
Oh, where is it?
Oh, Emily.
Oh, Freddie,
you did it.
We found it.
Oh!
That's what you think. You
found nothing but trouble.
EMILY: Uh-oh.
You take care of that one, Fred.
I'll get this one.
[GRUNTING]
That will teach you
to steal from me.
Get out of here.
-Go on! -[OBJECTS SHATTERING]
Go on! Get out.
Come here a minute.
-[GRUNTING] -Ow!
The window.
EMILY: Ow!
[GRUNTING]
EMILY: But wait.
[GROANS]
Come on, Emily. Run.
I am. I am running
as fast as I can.
Oh.
[GRUNTING]
Come on out of there.
I want that
necklace, sweetheart.
Please don't hurt us.
We'll do anything you say.
[EXCLAIMS HAPPILY]
Oh, it worked.
It worked.
Oh, we got the necklace,
and we got two of them.
We even got my g*n back.
A g*n? He was
pointing a g*n at you?
Oh, my g*n, Fred,
the one they stole
along with the necklace.
Hey, it's okay.
It's never loaded. See.
[g*nsh*t]
EMILY: Oh.
-Never loaded, huh? -Oh, Fred.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I wanna thank you, Mr. Roarke,
before I go back to work.
I guess I messed things
up good and proper, didn't I?
Placing the happiness
of your daughter
ahead of your own
is hardly messing things
up, Mrs. Wentworth.
We are very proud
of you, Loretta.
I mean, Mrs. Wentworth.
Loretta will do,
Tattoo. Thank you both.
Thank you both.
Uh, Mrs. Wentworth...
there is one more thing.
Oh, I almost forgot.
The money for
the fantasy, right?
-Wrong. -Quite wrong indeed.
No, I am talking about
your future, Mrs. Wentworth.
Your lifelong dream to
be a country singing star.
That part of my future is
in the past. You know that.
Perhaps, not, Mrs. Wentworth,
perhaps not.
If you'll change
into the costume
you'll find in the
next room over there,
Tattoo and I will be
ready to escort you
in about ten minutes.
-Escort me? -Yes.
-Where? -Into the future,
Mrs. Wentworth.
Into the future.
[DRUM ROLL]
MR. ROARKE:
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to a very special event.
For tonight is the very first
professional appearance
of a very special artist
and I want to especially
thank Mr. and Mrs. Joe Ogden
and their lovely
daughter Lorraine
for accepting my
invitation to attend.
The lady you are about
to hear sing up to tonight
has totally devoted her
career to her other talents,
such as, unselfishness,
cheerfulness...
and love.
Tonight, she begins
her new career.
Now, ladies and
gentlemen, if you will,
please welcome Ms.
Loretta Wentworth.
- [CROWD APPLAUDING]
- [MAN WHISTLING]
Sit down, Nancy.
LORETTA: Thank you,
Mr. Roarke, and thank you, friends.
One time in my life,
I tried to be
something that I wasn't
and I was a real flop.
And I'd like to say tonight
that I'm just me.
So, what you see
is what you get.
I'd like to say thank
God I'm a country girl.
[APPLAUDING]
[WHISTLING]
[COUNTRY MUSIC STARTS PLAYING]
♪ Well, life in the country
Is kinda laid back ♪
♪ Ain't nothing This
country girl can't hack ♪
♪ Early to rise
Early in the sack ♪
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
♪ Well, a simple kinda
life Never did me no harm ♪
♪ Raisin' a family
Workin' on the farm ♪
♪ My days are spent
With a country charm ♪
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
♪ Well, I got fine man
And I got an old fiddle ♪
♪ When the sun comes up
We got cakes on the griddle ♪
♪ Life ain't nothin' But
a funny funny riddle ♪
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
♪ When the work's all
done And the sun sets low ♪
♪ I'll pull out my fiddle
And I rise up my bow ♪
♪ The kids are asleep
So I keep it kinda low ♪
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
♪ I'd play "Sally Goodin"
All day if I could ♪
♪ But the Lord and my man
Wouldn't think it's so good ♪
♪ So I fiddle when I can
And I work when I should ♪
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
♪ Well, I got fine man
And I got an old fiddle ♪
♪ When the sun comes up
We got cakes on the griddle ♪
♪ Life ain't nothin' But
a funny funny riddle ♪
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
-[MUSIC CONTINUES] -[CLAPPING]
♪ Well, life on the
farm Is kinda laid back ♪
♪ Ain't nothing This
country girl can't hack ♪
♪ Early to rise
Early in the sack ♪
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
♪ Well, a simple kinda
life Never did me no harm ♪
♪ Raisin' a family
Workin' on the farm ♪
♪ My days are filled
With a country charm ♪
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
♪ Well, I got fine man
And got an old fiddle ♪
♪ When the sun comes up
We got cakes on the griddle ♪
♪ Life ain't nothin' But
a funny funny riddle ♪
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
♪ Life ain't nothin' But
a funny funny riddle ♪
Whoo!
♪ Thank God I'm a country girl ♪
-[MUSIC ENDS] -[APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUDING]
Oh, Mother, I love you.
I love you too, baby.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Thank you, Mr. Roarke.
You did what I thought
nobody could ever do.
Does that mean you're cured?
Why, Tattoo, Mr. Simpson helped
put two dangerous
criminals behind bars.
If he was strong
enough to do that,
I'm sure he's strong enough
to kick his former habit.
Especially since he has
a new habit to
worry about now. Me.
Congratulations, Mr. Simpson.
- Goodbye, Mr. Roarke.
- Goodbye, Ms. Carlisle.
So long, Tattoo.
Oh...
here's your watch, Tattoo.
Sorry.
Well, it probably just
fell off your wrist...
or something.
Boss, where's
Loretta? She's late.
How many times
have I recommended
the practice of patience
to build up your
character, Tattoo?
[HORN HONKING]
Ah, there she is now.
[COUNTRY MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO]
Hey! What do you
think, Mr. Roarke?
MR. ROARKE: Exactly the
right touch, Mrs. Wentworth.
May your bus be a magic carpet
for a new wonderful career
for both you and your daughter.
And you... just gonna
put it on the plane?
We're gonna put it
on the big steamer
instead, Tattoo.
I don't know what kind of
booking agent I'm gonna be
but I'm gonna find out.
MR. ROARKE: You'll do just fine.
With Lorraine, and Otis,
and Doris, and Bufford,
how can we miss?
We're heading to the Deep South,
and we're gonna hit every
joint from Dallas to Baton Rouge.
Look out, Nashville.
Yeah, watch out, Nashville.
- Here we come.
- [MR. ROARKE LAUGHS]
-Bye-bye. Thank you. -Thank you.
- Goodbye, Mrs. Wentworth.
- Thank you for everything.
Bye!
[COUNTRY SONG PLAYING]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]