03x23 - A Gift for El Charro

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[BARKS]

[♪♪♪]

JACQUELINE: At the Convent San Tanco, like anywhere else,

there is a time for sewing, and for leaky pipes,

a time for reaping, and for cracked plaster.

And a time for quiet contemplation

and for falling rooftops.

[BARKS]

Buenos días.

Oh, buenos días.

BERTRILLE: Coming down. Bien.

Ah, look at the rainbow.

Look. Look. See? ¿Que?

Uh, uh... Oh, you know how rainbows are.

They come and they go.

Yo no entiendo Inglés.

Huh, oh.

He doesn't speak English.

Oh, well, what does he want?

[ASKS IN SPANISH]

[RESPONDS IN SPANISH]

Oh. He's looking for work.

Maybe he can help us with the plastering?

Fantastic!

Listen, why don't you wait here--

No, why don't you come with us?

Tell Pablo that we do have a lot of things to mend,

but, unfortunately, no money to do it with.

Ah, SeñorPablo...

[TRANSLATES IN SPANISH]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

He's just a humble man

who wishes to make his mark on the world

without humiliation. Instead of payment,

he would like to learn to read and write in English.

Well, don't just stand there.

Repeat after me.

The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain.

[♪♪♪]

JACQUELINE: Placing Pablo in the gardener's cottage was a simple matter

compared to placing him in a class with children.

But we could spare no other time for him.

Uh-oh.

[STAMMERS] Good morning, children.

CHILDREN: Good morning, Sister Bertrille.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING] [MUTTERS IN SPANISH]

Ah, in English, please.

[IN ENGLISH] Good morning, Sister Bertrille.

Good morning. Okay, everybody, sit down.

[BARKS]

No, Horatio. I don't wanna do tricks right now.

I'm too busy.

[BARKS TWICE]

Okay. Okay.

We'll do just one, and that's it.

Okay. Gimme your paw.

Gimme your paw.

[GROWLS SOFTLY]

[CHILDREN LAUGH]

Oh, well, forget it.

That's one demerit for you.

Perdon,Sister.

How you call?

Oh, I knew you'd come in handy for something.

This is, uh, a dog-- Dog.

Uh, escribelo"dog."

Mm.

Uh, almost.

You spelled "doc." That stands for "doctor."

Ah, pues gracias.

For what?

New word, "doctor."

Okay, kids. Here we go.

"Hickory Dickory Dock."

Okay.

CHILDREN: "Hickory Dickory Dock."

Sister, what-- What means "hickory"?

Well, hickory is a kind of wood.

And what is "dickory"?

"Dickory" doesn't mean anything.

Ah, hickory doc.

Hickory doctor.

[CHILDREN LAUGH]

Well, let's move right on ahead to "Jack and Jill."

JACQUELINE: Considering Pablo's future,

Humpty Dumpty would have been more appropriate.

Since not even all the king's horses or all the king's men

could handle what was coming up the driveway.

[♪♪♪]

I'll be back in a moment.

But to me, it will seem like an eternity.

Muah!

You see, the J isn't pronounced in English

the same way it is in Spanish.

You call frijoles fri-joles?

No, we call them beans.

Sister Bertrille?

Am I interrupting? Nuh-uh.

Okay.

Here.

Catcher's mitt, gloves...

Oh. ...baseballs.

BERTRILLE: Carlos, how fantastic.

Now you can tell the catcher from the pitcher.

CARLOS: Oh, I forget to tell you.

I won't be able to umpire the first game.

That day I'm gonna have an eye examination

for new reading glasses,

and I won't be able to see too well.

Oh, they put drops in your eyes, you know?

Well, can't you postpone it?

For another six months.

That's how long it took me to get this appointment.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Uh, Carlos, this is Pablo Cortina.

Uh, this is Carlos Ramirez.

He's our new handyman,

and we're teaching him English.

Um, mucho gusto.

Mucho gusto.

No, you mean, "Pleased to meet you."

Uh...pleased to meet you.

Pleased meeting you.

What's the matter?

Well, he looks exactly like El Charro.

What's an El Charro?

Not an El Charro.

El Charro.

He's a bullfighter from Madrid.

BERTRILLE: Oh, no, Pablo's from a small fishing village

near Río Manos.

Okay. Well, I'm leaving.

We are going to be late for the museum.

Who's "we"?

Uh, Theresa and I. She's in the car.

If I had time, I introduce you to her,

but, uh, today's the last day

of the exhibit Pre-Colombian at the museum.

Oh, since when have you been interested in Pre-Colombian art?

All my life. I'm crazy about it.

Pre-Colombian, Post-Colombian, Modern Colombian.

I tell you the truth.

I'm crazy about her.

I don't know. Maybe this is it.

Congratulations.

Thank you, but this is not definite yet.

But I think when the moment of truth comes, she'll accept.

Oh. Well, I have to leave.

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[♪♪♪]

"How do I love thee, question mark.

Let me count the ways."

Yeah.

And a rose for each way.

And sign it simply, "Carlos."

Okay. Thank you. Bye-bye.

[SIGHS]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR] Come in.

You want to okay this, boss?

It's for, uh, .

Ramon Esteban? Who is he?

He manages a bullfighter.

I think it's El Charro.

Uh, El Charro.

El Charro. Hmm.

The handyman.

It seems he, uh, disappeared during the middle of the season,

and he traced him to San Tanco.

Now what would a bullfighter be doing in a place like this?

I don't know.

Why don't you go out,

and try to find out?

Uh-huh. But be discreet.

So the check is good, huh?

Yeah, the check is good.

I'm not too sure about his bullfighter.

[♪♪♪]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

SeñorEsteban,

I got a hot lead on El Charro.

But remember, I want an exclusive.

You got it.

Now what did you find out?

When I was in the tobacco shop,

I saw Sister Bertrille from the local convent.

What do nuns have to do with a bullfighter?

Ah, well, she was ordering a box

of these special Panetela cigars from Madrid.

The kind that El Charro favors.

So since there are very few nuns who smoke cigars,

I checked further, and I found out

that the convent hired a handyman about the same time

that El Charro was supposed to have arrived.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Hmm.

Well, he says his father was raised here as an orphan,

and it's the only place he knows

where he can hide from the public

while he's learning English.

I greatly appreciate his thirst for knowledge,

but tell me, why can he not attend night school,

like anyone else?

CARLOS: Well, he's not like anyone else.

[CAR DOOR OPENS]

If people know where he is,

uh, he won't have any privacy.

Besides, the manager wants him to continue his tour,

and that will be the end of his education.

An unless there is a miracle, that's what's gonna happen.

Unless the miracle happens right now.

Well, uh, here's the handyman

you've just been dying to meet.

Uh, Señor Morales, Señor Esteban, Señor Ramirez.

ESTEBAN: This is not El Charro.

This is a plumber with expensive taste in cigars.

That's not a plumber.

That's Carlos Ramirez, who runs the local casino.

Right, Mr. Ramirez?

CARLOS: Right.

How long have you been, uh, moonlighting?

Moonlighting? Uh-uh.

I consider it a privilege to help the Sisters.

Hand me the wrench, please.

Hmm. Thank you.

You see, it is a matter of, uh, Christian charity

to do whatever one can

to make this world a better place to live in.

So I do a little here, a little there.

The Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts.

It's penance, and the way I live,

a little insurance doesn't hurt.

No, no. Sure, Mr. Ramirez.

I'm sorry for your trouble, Sister.

Oh. Come on.

[HUMMING TO SELF]

Carlos, you were just great.

Yeah, I was fabulous. Uh-huh.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

What'd he say?

He's going to dedicate his, eh, next bull to me.

Oh.

Thank you very much.

I don't know, Señor Esteban.

As a good Catholic, I believe the nun.

As a good newspaper man, I don't.

Bad vibrations. [CHILDREN LAUGHING, SHOUTING]

Hey, nice, catch.

Thank you.

Yeah. With good coaching,

you could be an A quarterback, eh?

The Sisters don't know too much about football.

Well, what about the handyman?

He looks like an athlete.

Yeah, but he is too busy studying.

Studying? Studying what? English.

Sister Bertrille is teaching him to read and write

while he does some work around here.

Come on.

I don't have all day to waste.

Maybe you didn't have any luck,

but I just hit the jackpot.

Hey, hey, hey. Come here!

Look at this.

"What local casino owner

"is learning to read and write

at the Convent San Tanco?"

I just can't believe it.

Well, they wouldn't print it if it wasn't true.

They could get sued for libel.

That's right.

And there is only one casino owner in San Tanco.

You got to give him credit.

The way he carries it off.

There is a party of for dinner tonight.

I... Yes.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Everything is fine.

Okay.

What's the main course for tonight?

It's right here on the menu.

Okay.

I-- I cannot make it out.

The ophthalmologist put some drops in my eyes today,

and I can't see too well. Read it for me.

That's all right, boss.

I'll read it for you.

Lobster Diavolo

with puffed potatoes

and creamed spinach.

Anything else you want me to read for you?

What's wrong with you two?

Nothing. Nothing. DISHWASHER: Nothing.

Hey boss, have you seen this?

Please!

Don't humiliate the man.

Would you please read this for me?

[SIGHS] "What local casino owner

is learning to read and write at the Convent San Tanco?"

Why are you bothering me with that?

But, boss, "What local casino owner"?

Oh, that's me!

That is me.

Come with me. Come to my office.

And lock the door behind me.

And if I pound on it to let me out, don't!

Because you know, I go directly to the convent, and I...

You will read it tomorrow in the obituary pages.

So you read it.

Everybody in San Tanco read it, and I cannot prove a thing.

Not with these drops in my eyes.

Do you know what I have in my hands?

A children's reading book.

Yeah, sent to me by an anonymous friend.

Well, at least, say you're sorry.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Well, "sorry" doesn't help.

I know how you feel, Carlos,

but you can't let El Charro down now.

Give him one week.

I'm sure in one week, he'll have a--

A working knowledge of English. Sister Bertrille,

why is it every time I am the injured party,

you make me feel guilty and selfish?

Because you're so kind and generous.

You are doing it again.

Okay. I'll give you one week.

One week. That's all.

This is the last time I'm going to give you...

I know you're upset, Father,

but I'm sure I'd know if it were true.

Are you positive?

But he must have gone to some college.

You know I won't bring home anybody you'd be ashamed of.

[♪♪♪]

[DOORBELL RINGS] There's someone at the door.

Yes. Yes, I'll let you know.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hello. Mmm! Carlos.

Thank you for the lovely flowers.

And that-- That poem, very sweet.

Oh, it's just a reflection of my thoughts.

Beautiful. Uh-huh.

But, um, it did have a very familiar sound.

Oh, it did? Hmm.

Um, as-- As a matter of fact, it--

It was from Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Oh, it was?

Oh, it was. The first part.

The second, I wrote.

Of course, heh.

I'll-- I'll be right back.

Be right back.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, you're reading.

No, just looking at the pictures.

The doctor put some drops in my eyes today,

and, uh, I can't see a thing.

Carlos, I've got to talk to you.

What's wrong?

Nothing, I hope.

Remember those stories you told me about high school?

Yes.

Well, you did graduate, didn't you?

Of course I did. Oh, come on.

What's wrong with you?

Oh, it's not just me. It's my father.

He read that item in the newspaper.

Oh, come on. Now you don't want to tell me

that your father really believes that?

Carlos, what else did you lie about?

Oh, Theresa, be sensible.

I mean, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

Over three quarters of the world's population

is illiterate. I'm not illiterate.

[SIGHS]

Please sit down.

I'm going to tell you the truth.

But you have to promise me that it's just between the two of us.

Okay? Anything you say.

I am doing this as a favor

to a famous bullfighter who should be nameless.

You're learning to read and write for a famous bullfighter.

No, I didn't say that.

Then why are you learning to read and write?

I am not learning to read and write.

You see, the Sisters at the convent

asked me to do them a favor for this bullfighter.

A bullfighter in training in a convent.

No. He's staying at a convent.

You see, he told them he's a fisherman,

but nobody's supposed to know he's there.

So when his manager came, I pretended to be him.

Well, doesn't his manager know you're not him?

Of course, that's the whole point!

You see, the manager thinks that the handyman is his bullfighter.

So I took his place.

And who is the handyman?

The manager.

I mean, the bullfighter.

I mean me. You see how simple it is?

All right, Carlos.

Shall we have lunch?

No.

I don't feel like eating.

The whole thing made me too upset.

I don't think I'm gonna be good company.

Maybe later for dinner.

We'll see how you feel. [SIGHS]

[CLICKS TONGUE]

I'm sorry I spoiled your afternoon.

That's all right.

I think I'll stay home and do some reading.

Good.

Convent San Tanco?

I'd like to speak to Sister Bertrille, please.

No, she doesn't know me.

Sister Bertrille?

Um, Maria Gonzales.

It's a very delicate situation.

You see, my uncle was offered a job at a tourist agency,

but he has to learn how to read and write.

And I heard it on good authority that you...

So it is addressed to you,

but you're supposed to read it to me?

That's right, boss.

I just got it special delivery.

Okay, read it.

[CLEARS THROAT]

"My Dear Carlos,

"because of your reading problem,

"I've sent this letter to Raoul to read to you.

"Due to its intimate nature,

I know you would want me to choose a good friend."

Who signed that?

"Signed with kind memories, Theresa."

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

It's addressed to me, boss. Oh, come on.

Boss!

[SIGHS] Okay. Read it.

"Some things can never be.

Frankly, it just wouldn't work out with my family."

Hey, boss, what's with her family?

Never mind. Read.

"Whatever you do, pursue your education.

There's no substitute for knowledge."

"P.S. Please apologize to Sister Bertrille.

"I'm sorry I had to deceive her,

but I had to find out the truth for myself."

What did you tell her?

I didn't tell her anything.

I don't even know her.

But you must have talked to somebody.

Well, as a matter of fact, I--

Oh, no, it couldn't be.

What couldn't be, but I'm sure it is?

Well, I did talk to a lady that called

and said her name was Maria Gonzales.

I blew it, didn't I?

What did you tell her?

Well, I couldn't tell her it was him,

but I-I didn't exactly say it was you.

But I guess she could have thought I said that.

You blew it.

I blew it.

Why don't you go to her home now,

and tell the truth? She'd never believe me now.

Something is very much wrong, no?

Something is very much wrong,

si, a disaster.

Carlos, don't worry.

I'm sure everything will be all right. Sister Bertrille,

the last time I saw that look in your eye,

I lost my girl.

Well, that's why El Charro and I have to go there

and make sure you don't lose her.

Oh, so you see, anyway,

uh, Pablo, our handyman, is really El Charro,

the, uh, bullfighter.

Uh, Carlos was just covering up for him.

El Charro.

Well, of course.

If-- If Carlos had only told me your name.

PABLO: You know of me?

Last summer at the bullring in Mexico City.

I threw my scarf down to you.

Black lace with a red rose in the middle.

Oh, si.I remember.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

Well, anyway, you see, uh, Pab--

Uh, El Charro just insisted on coming along

to make sure that nothing came between you and Carlos, heh.

[♪♪♪]

Well...

Now that we've cleared the air...

I know Carlos will be relieved to hear what's happened.

Ahem, could I have a cookie?

Excuse me.

[BERTRILLE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

What happened, Sister?

Well, we told her the whole story.

And she believed you. Every single word.

Good! You did it again.

I mean, you and El Charro. He sure did.

I have to thank him. Where is he?

I don't know exactly.

Hmm. I-- I better call Theresa.

She must be waiting for me.

Well, I don't think she's in, Carlos.

Where-- Where is she?

With him.

With whom? El Charro.

You see, it seems she threw her handkerchief down to him

in the bullring in Mexico City.

Oh, just a moment.

What are you trying to tell me?

We blew it.

You mean... him and her?

Well, sometimes it happens like that, Carlos.

I don't understand.

When I was a big illiterate, I wasn't good enough for her.

What makes him so different?

Well, she says it took great courage

for him to jeopardize his career for an education,

and when it came to you, you didn't have anything to lose.

I didn't have anything to lose?

I almost lost her.

I mean, I did.

Now, Carlos, don't feel too bad.

You never know who she's gonna throw her scarf to next, do you?

Yeah, right.

You know something? What?

I think she's also right.

There's no substitute for knowledge. Right.

I just learned one thing. What?

If you ever ask me to do anything for you again,

and I say yes, lock me up until I come to my senses.

JACQUELINE: With El Charro graduated,

it was business as usual at the Convent San Tanco.

[BARKING]

Sister Bertrille,

I have a letter from the bishop.

Okay.

[BARKING]

For me? Indirectly.

It seems that a certain bullfighter dedicated his bull

to Sister Bertrille of the Convent San Tanco.

You were awarded two ears and a tail.

Well, you can't change a bull's ear into a silk purse.

That's a sow's ear.

No, it would look ridiculous for a matador to fight a pig.

[CHUCKLES]

Heh. Well, anyway, I told him

bullfighting was for the birds.

The bishop voiced the same sentiments in a different way.

El Charro apologized and donated his fee to the convent

for the embarrassment. that he caused.

My word.

Who says you can't turn a bull's ear into a silk purse?

[♪♪♪]