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01x16 - Wailing in a Winter Wonderland

Posted: 04/25/23 07:24
by bunniefuu
[Barking]

(Jacqueline) we have a christmas
tradition at convent san tanco.

We draw names and
make gifts for each other.

This year sister bertrille
was in charge of the drawing.

Oh, hi.

The yank bag?

Grab bag.

You first, sister. Don't peek.

[Giggles]

I grabbed myself.

Oh, here try again.

Hey, maybe I'd
better keep myself.

How come?

I know what I want.

Oh.

(Jacqueline) sister olaf had
come to us only recently.

She had served in puerto
rico for many years,

And had hoped to return to
her native norway for christmas.

But the doctors
felt that sister olaf

No longer had the
strength for the trip.

Reverend mother,
should I trouble her?

(Olaf) yes, child.

These hands can still
make something for a sister.

What would you like for
christmas, sister olaf?

The impossible.

A white christmas.

Snow, sister olaf?

Puerto rico is beautiful.

But sunshine and palm trees

Do not make christmas.

I know.

Maybe next year.

(Jacqueline) sister
bertrille came to me last.

Sister.

I got sister olaf's name.

Ooh, you were meant
to keep it a secret.

Well, I couldn't anyway. I
need your help. Both of you.

I want to make it
snow for sister olaf.

Snow in san juan?

Sister, it never
snows in san juan.

Have you ever had a
flying nun here before?

Now, sister bertrille, the fact that
you can defy one of nature's laws

Should not be taken as a
challenge to try them all.

Oh, I won't do
anything conspicuous.

I'll just make it
snow in the convent.

Sort of a mini-storm.

Yes, kind of. Will you help me?

It would mean so
much to sister olaf.

If reverend mother
should hear of this.

I know. Will you help
me with that too?

Oh, what can we
lose? Snow in san juan?

She's whistling trixie.

Dixie, sister.

But if I were you, I'd
get out my winter habit.

I can feel a nip
in the air already.

(Jacqueline) sister bertrille
went to the experts.

She consulted the weather
bureau at our local airport.

Snow in san juan?

Sister, I have been
stationed here 10 years,

And those needles
have never moved.

It's always sunny.

It's always 80 degrees.

It's always clear skies
followed by tourists.

My job is so predictable
my pep pills need pep pills.

Oh, uh, I was wondering
how to make it snow,

Artificially.

What for? A christmas pageant?

You know, when I was a kid,

We wrapped ourselves in bed
sheets and called ourselves angels.

Cute, huh?

Marvelous.

Actually, I was just curious,

Kind of a research project.

Has anyone ever made
it snow artificially?

Oh, there have been experiments

But they're very elaborate.

How elaborate?

It involves seeding the
clouds with pellets of dry ice.

Dry ice. Of course,
carbon dioxide.

They just pepper the clouds?

That's right, sister.

[Phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Weather bureau.

Uh, thanks a lot. I'll just
be running along now.

Now, what do you think
it's going to be, madame?

80 Degrees, clear and sunny.

After all, it's
almost christmas.

Don't mention it.

(Jacqueline) to get the dry ice,

We went to sister bertrille's
friend, senor ramirez,

The owner of the biggest
discotheque on the island.

And get this, first thing.

Carlos?

[Clearing throat] and this, too.

Carlos?

Sister, I'm a very busy man.

This is the height of
the christmas season,

And I have 500 tourists
to feed this evening.

Well, I just wanted
to ask a favor.

That's exactly
what I was afraid of.

What is it this time?

A foul mouthed parrot
I have to give a home to?

Or you fix me up again with
a gangster's girlfriend?

No, I wanted to
borrow something.

What?

Some dry ice.

Why didn't you say so?

Well, I need quite a bit.

You take as much as you like.

Now, you go right
to the kitchen.

You know where the
kitchen is, right? Yes.

Ok. You go there and
get as much as you like.

Thank you, carlos.
Thank you. Bye, bye.

Dry ice.

Now...

(Jacqueline) we managed to
smuggle the ice into the convent

Without any trouble.

Making it into pellets
was another matter.

Here.

Good.

We're almost over the hump.

[Knocking at door]

Who is it?

(Rev. Mother) what is going on,
sister? Is something burning?

It's the reverend
mother. The jig is down.

I think it's up, sister.

Uh, just a moment,
uh, reverend mother.

[Shushing]

Hurry.

(Rev. Mother) why is
this door locked?

Uh, was it?

What's the meaning
of all the smoke?

Smoke?

Uh, sisters,

I, uh, I do not think
that I need to remind you

That the church
frowns on alchemy.

Yes. Well, uh, we were just
making my gift for the yank bag?

Grab bag!

Grab bag.

(Rev. Mother) well, I hope you were
not making anything too elaborate.

Uh, the, um, gifts are
better if they're simple.

Yes. Well, uh, this gift
is practically elemental.

Oh, we don't want to keep you

From your evening
walk, reverend mother.

I've already been. And I
must say I feel exhausted.

Well, you don't look exhausted.

But I feel exhausted.

Well, you look radiant.

Uh, don't you think
so, sister sixto?

Oh, I can't see too good. Come
over in the daylight. I can see better.

Sister sixto, what daylight?

Well, I sense that I
am intruding, sisters.

But if I could just
sit for a moment.

I got here first.

Good night, sisters.

Good night, reverend mother.

[Exclaims]

(Jacqueline) the day
before christmas

The flying weather
was excellent.

The trade winds quickly took
sister bertrille into the clouds.

[Children cheering]

I can't believe my eyes.

Uh, it's sort of like a
belt from the blue, huh?

Bolt, sister sixto.

Uh, of course, this comes as
a complete surprise to you?

I beg your pardon,
reverend mother?

Uh, you had no, uh, premonition
that it just might snow?

Uh, why do you ask,
reverend mother?

[Clearing throat]

It's a miracle.

Well, not exactly.

It's a...

Well, the snow is sister
bertrille's gift to you.

Gift?

There's something I'd better
tell you about sister bertrille.

(Jacqueline) unfortunately, the
trade winds grew stronger,

Carrying sister bertrille
and her mini-storm

Away from the convent
and over the city of san juan.

[People clamoring]

[Yells]

[Beeping]

I left maine to
get away from this.

I'm gonna have to pay for this
snowball for the next 18 months.

If they'd have warned me in new
york, I'd have brought my mink.

Harry, at least take a picture.

Why bother?

They'll never
believe it back home.

Oh, sister.

I landed on the other
side of the island.

I had to hitchhike back.

You know something, for
the day before christmas,

It sure is quiet in the city.

(Rev. Mother) sister bertrille.

We've got big problems.

What?

The tourists are
leaving san juan.

Leaving? Why?

Because the tourists do not come
to san juan to throw snowballs.

I'm sorry, reverend mother. I
guess things got a bit out of hand.

They still are.

The hotels are emptying and
there are mobs at the airport.

Without the tourists, half
the city will end up flat chested.

My guess would be that
you mean flat busted.

And I'm afraid you're
absolutely right.

Sister bertrille, I
know you meant well,

But it is not going to be a very
merry christmas in san juan.

[Knocking at door]

Come in.

You asked for me, sister olaf.

It was so beautiful.

I wanted to thank you.

They told you.

Yes.

And now I hear that
you are in trouble.

Oh, I'll survive.

I'm not sure san juan will.

(Olaf) that is sad.

You were only trying to
make my wish come true.

(Bertrille) and
I'm glad if I did.

I just wish I could think of a
way to get the tourists back.

Of course, if I did, I'd probably
foul up something else.

I seem to be a one-woman
plague of locusts.

That is not true.

Yes, it is.

The reverend mother is right,
it's time I grounded myself.

Sister, you have a great gift.

Not to use it would be a sin.

Flying?

No.

Making people happy.

(Jacqueline) the snow melted
quickly, but the crisis lingered on.

Senor ramirez summoned the other
restaurant and hotel owners to his office

For an emergency meeting
to calm things down.

Just a moment. Just a moment.

Now we are not pleading,
we are not begging,

We are demanding an explanation.

It happened, that's all.

The economy of our
country is having convulsions,

And the only explanation
we get is, "it happened."

Senor ramirez, may I remind you

I don't do anything
about the weather.

I just talk about it.

There must have been
a... A hint. A warning.

Of course, what's the projection
for the rest of the holidays?

The projection, senor ramirez,

Is clear and warmer
just as it was for today.

[All groaning] out! Out! Out!

Well, at least that
little nun must be happy.

What nun?

[Stammering] no one, senor.

What nun?

A nun nun.

She came to the
tower the other day.

What did she look like? Young?

Yeah.

Moon face? Kind of.

Freckles?

Senor ramirez, she came to talk
about snow, not her complexion.

Carry on, gentlemen.

[All clamoring]

It was you, wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

You know what's happened to you?

You've gone power mad.

Oh, carlos, I'm sorry.
I just wanted to help.

You want to help.

Why don't you go and
make a blizzard in jamaica?

Carlos, listen.

All those tourists are
still trapped at the airport.

Well, they know you.

You could go and talk to them

And tell them all I wanted to
do was to make a white christmas.

Brilliant. Superb.

Why didn't I think of it myself?

Ladies and gentlemen,

The little, uh, disturbance you felt
this morning was only temporary.

You see, this is
sister bertrille,

And though it is a very
well-kept secret, she can fly.

But, naturally, it being the
christmas season... All right, carlos.

It was just an idea. Honestly.

I know my good
intentions backfired,

But you don't have to act like
it's the end of the world for you.

Me?

Well, it's not myself
I'm thinking about,

Or the other hotel owners.

We can handle a
setback like this.

It is the little people.

The tourist guides,
the street vendors,

The taxi drivers,
the flower lady.

It's going to be a
big blow to them.

Oh, carlos, you're right.

I never thought of that.

We who have known poverty and...

Carlos, you know something?

You're really very sweet.

I try.

That's why I want you to...

Carlos, you're right.

We've got to do something
for those people.

Me? We? No, sister.

The only thing I want from
you is to stay on the ground.

But carlos, that won't
help those little people now.

Look, carlos, what if...

What if you and your friends,

The other big hotel owners,

What if you gave me
some money to distribute?

And where do you
suggest we get this money?

Well, you must have
something in reserve.

Before the busy season?

Just enough to
escape the sheriff.

Carlos, there are
thousands of children

That are expecting
toys on christmas.

And mothers who are
planning big christmas feasts.

You can't disappoint
them, carlos.

And don't tell me
that among the group...

Sister, may I ask
you a question?

What?

Why is it every time I
try to pin your ears back,

You end up cracking my spine?

[Phone ringing]

Convent san tanco.

You did?

Over $5000.

Oh, carlos, that's fantastic.

I'll bring it over to the
convent in about 10 minutes.

Uh, let's make it 15 minutes.

Ok, bye.

[Sighing]

My friends,

I want to thank you
for the friendly way

In which you have responded.

Reverend mother,

I think we can start
the jingle bells jingling.

Really, sister bertrille?

Yes. Carlos ramirez has raised an
emergency fund for us to distribute.

A handup?

Handout. But it
wouldn't be. Not really.

And what else would
it be, sister bertrille?

People have pride.

They're used to
working for their money.

A touch of charity isn't going to
make their christmas any merrier.

Reverend mother's
right, sister bertrille.

Oh, wow.

I guess I'm really
batting a thousand today.

Think I should tell senor
ramirez to give the money back?

I'll leave the
decision up to you.

Come along, sister.

Reverend mother, what
if the people didn't know

Where the money came from?

What if it just
fell from the sky?

A happening instead
of a handout.

As I understand it...

I mean, flying is what
got me into this trouble.

Why not cure it the same way?

[Sighing] oh, me.

Sister bertrille, when are
you going to accept the fact

That a nun is meant to do
our lord's work on earth?

Heaven is his territory.

(Bertrille) ♪ I know my feet
should stay firm on the ground ♪

♪ But sometimes I can't
seem to keep them down ♪

♪ When the wind starts
blowing that's the time I know ♪

♪ I just got to pick right up ♪

♪ And go ♪

♪ All of a sudden I
look way up high ♪

♪ Next thing I know
I'm just up in the sky ♪

♪ And I'm flying ♪

♪ Flying so high ♪

♪ Touching the sky ♪

♪ The places I'm going
to cannot be planned ♪

♪ The fun is not knowing
just where I will land ♪

♪ When I'm flying ♪

♪ Flying so high ♪

♪ The birds that I
meet on the way ♪

♪ Keep me company
all of the day ♪

♪ As I fly over places I love ♪

♪ There's always one thing ♪

♪ I'm certain of ♪

♪ It's a beautiful world
and I'm glad to be in it ♪

♪ When I'm up there I just
love every minute of flying ♪

♪ Flying so high ♪

♪ I'm so glad I can fly ♪

[People shouting]

♪ Flying, flying so high ♪

♪ We're flying, flying so high ♪

♪ I'm so glad I can fly ♪

♪ I'm so glad I can fly ♪

♪ I'm so glad I can fly ♪

Harry, go wire my mother.

Maybe she can still get a plane.

Oh, and wire my
sister and her family.

Why should they be left out?

Wire everybody.

It's christmas.

The planes are
coming back in relays.

The hotels are filling up.

The shops are opening again.

This might not be
our biggest christmas,

But it's going to be the wildest
new year san juan has ever had.

Everyone thinks there's going
to be another money storm.

Yes. Say, you
wouldn't like to make,

Let's say, one
little flight a week?

Just to maintain the image?

Afraid not, carlos.

[Knocking at door]

Just a moment.

Oh, my friends,
come in. Come in.

You've come to celebrate
our good fortune.

That's right. And to
get our money back.

Money? What money?

The $5000 that we
gave you to distribute.

It... It is gone.

G-gone?

Yeah, given away.

We didn't see any
nuns distribute money.

Of course you did not.

It was done...

It was not done
in the usual way.

Oh? Then how?

You will not believe it.

Carlos, you wouldn't
try to cheat your friends.

On christmas eve.

In front of a nun.

[Gasping]

Carlos, remember,
it's going to be

The wildest new year
san juan ever had.

Merry christmas, sister.

Merry christmas, carlos.

♪ [Organ playing]

(All) ♪ deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪

Why aren't you singing?

Do I have anything
to sing about?

I am the biggest
philanthropist in san juan

And you are the
only one who knows.

Carlos, isn't it more gratifying

To know in your
heart what you've done,

Than to be the biggest
hero of the whole city?

No.

Carlos, look.

♪ See the blazing
yule before us ♪

She hasn't been
downstairs in months.

Wasn't it all worth it?

Oh, boy, was it.

♪ Join the chorus ♪

♪ Fa, la, la, la, la ♪

Merry christmas, sister olaf.

Merry christmas, sister.

And thank you.

Why do you thank me?

Because you've just given me

The nicest christmas
present I've ever had.

Merry christmas.

Merry christmas.

♪ Follow me in merry measure ♪

♪ Fa, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ While I tell of
yule tide treasure ♪

♪ Fa, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la ♪