02x22 - Nell Gets Sick

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪



♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪


♪ It's time I made it to the top ♪


♪ Gimme a break, I'm looking forward ♪


♪ Get behind me, pull out every stop ♪


♪ I want a happy ending, I'm tired of pretending ♪


♪ Won't let 'em get the best of me ♪


♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa


♪ Gimme a break


♪ The game is survival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ And plan my arrival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ For heaven's sake


♪ What happened to my piece of the cake? ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Oh, gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Hey, gimme a break!


Ah-choo!


Ah...ah...ah...


Ah-choo!


Ohh.


Hi.


Hi.


Nell?


You look like something the cat dragged out.


That's very sweet of you, honey.


I mean, you look okay...


Just in a yucky way.


[ Coughing and wheezing ]


You're coughing better, too.


I've been practicing all night.


Haven't you finished packing my bag yet?


I'm gonna miss that plane to l.a.


Chief, life moves slowly when you're packing for a man


Who takes pairs of shorts for a -day trip.


He's either very neat or very nervous.


Well, at least you managed to cook my breakfast.


I didn't get a chance to cook it,


So I just sat on it.


Samantha, how about giving nell a hand today?


Dad, can't it wait till nell get's better?


I've got more important things to do.


Like what?


Well, I have to help chucky baxter feed rover.


Oh, is it his dog?


No, his brother.


I'm sorry, nell, but I've got to get out of here.


You're just gonna have to move it.


Please.


I got a fever.


I'm too hot to trot.


You're way above normal.


You're pretty cute yourself.


Nell?


Huh?


What you gonna do with that?


Doo-wop.


Do wah...


[ Mumbling indistinctly ]


Speak up, I can't understand you.


I said, this thing better have some numbers on it


When you take it out.


Keep it in your mouth.


I'm sure you got enough room in there.


You got a lot of room in your head.


You don't see me shoving things in there, do you?


That's 'cause I always keep my head closed.


Uh-oh.


"Uh-oh" what?


.


What?!


No, .


Oh.


Look, I hate to say this, nell, but...


You're really sick.


I am now.


You know, you're really gonna have to take it easy


While I'm gone.


Chief, somebody got to look after this place.


I mean, even a garbage truck needs a driver.


I'm gonna call my mother


And have her come over and give you a hand.


Oh, thanks, chief.


That's the best idea you've had all...


Did I just say that?


I must really be sick. Don't call her.


Hi, grandma.


Hi, sweetheart.


When did you get here?


Oh, about an hour ago.


Grandpa didn't mind.


When I left, he just smiled.


He had a light breakfast, so I know it wasn't gas.


It's too bad daddy had to go to los angeles.


Right. There's smog there.


And floozies.


He's allergic to smog.


I don't know about floozies.



He must like them.


He ran out of here like a hippo in heat.


Grandma, it's police business.


He has to testify in the weirdest case.


It's against this guy who shot his wife


With a bow and arrow.


Why would he do that?


Maybe he didn't want to wake the children.


Grandma, our milk turned black!


Oh, honey, that's not milk. I brought prune juice.


I hate prune juice.


Well, you'll get used to it,


And when you do, you'll be running for it day and night.


You got the chills, nell?


No, I'm going to a slumber party in alaska.


I'll get you dad's electric blanket.


Nell, you shouldn't be up.


I'm going back to bed. I just came for an aspirin.


I'm gonna go back and look at soap operas.


I love to see white people suffer.


Nell, you should be in bed!


Oh, I'm just burning up.


Oh, you've got a fever, too?


Well, I can take care of that.


My grandmother had a surefire cure for fever.


Here you are. Soak your wrist in ice water.


Aah!


[ Coughing ]


Cough too? I can take care of that.


You wait and see.


Here, chew on this raw onion.


Grandma, I can't eat that.


Well, then I'll squeeze it in your prune juice.


Grandma, I want to go to bed.


Give me the aspirin!


Okay, if that's the way you feel about it.


You want a glass of water with that?


No, I'll suck on my mitten.


Grandma, I have a date coming over.


Do I have to wear this garlic bulb?


The house is full of germs.


Garlic is the only thing that will ward them off.


I thought garlic only protected you from vampires.


I've seen some of katie's dates.


She needs all the protection she can get.


You wear that garlic.


It'll keep your sinuses from getting clogged up.


So will drano.


Well, now you're all in for a great treat.


This is a traditional dish from the old country.


Oh, some in there.


Glopnik.


Eat hearty.


Don't hold back.


My grandfather ate glopnik every day of his life,


And he lived to be .


How did he die?


He was shot in the w*r.


He was in the army at ?


No, he was in a pool room.


He was leaning out the window


Looking to see what the sh**ting was about.


He found out.


Well, you're not eating.


Grandma, what's this stuff made of?


It's just plain lamb...


Stuffed with goat's intestines.


I'll go get some more.


No! No!


They mean... Save some for tomorrow.


[ Laughs ] that's silly. I made enough for weeks.


Ah-choo!


Ah...


Ah...ah...


Ah...ah...


Drink this.


What is it?


It's a cold cure that never fails.


What's in it?


Uh, tea, honey, and lemon...


And red pepper, and tabasco sauce.


Mmm.


I'm gonna finish this in my room.


Don't spill any.


Yeah, I don't want to burn a hole in the rug.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Bye, grandma. That's my date.


Hold it. I want to meet your young man.


Oh, no, grandma. You'll make him nervous.


He's the shy, quiet type.


Well, so am i.


Uh, grandma, we got to get going.


Get in here!


I thought you said you were going to a concert,


Not a masquerade.


It's a punk concert.


Oh, this must be the punk.


Greg, this is my grandmother.


Grandma, this is greg hartman.


Hello, nice to meet you.



Is that an earring you're wearing?


Sure is.


Oh, what they'll do today to break their mothers' hearts.


Well, we got to get going.


Uh, if you don't mind my asking...


[ Laughs ]


Is one half of your hair brown?


You got it, grandma.


And is this half of your hair pink?


You got it again.


Were you born that way?


I can't remember. I was just a baby.


[ Laughs sarcastically ]


Drop him. He's a nutcase.


Please, grandma!


I'll do it for you.


All right, out of here, you weirdo.


Grandma, what are you doing? He's my date!


You're not going out with that clown.


Oh, I'm a clown now, huh?


Look at you guys -- you're wearing garlic!


You go back to your mother and father,


Unless you came out of a test tube!


Grandma, you blew it!


I waited a month for that date, and you blew it!


What's all this screaming going on?


Nothing, nothing at all.


Grandma just scared off the most gorgeous guy in glenlawn.


I'm never gonna forgive you for this, grandma.


Never!


Hi, sweetheart.


Oh, not feeling better?


No.


Don't worry, katie,


You can always find another guy with pink and brown hair.


He sure was a hunk.


Thanks for cheering me up, julie.


Between you and grandma,


I'm thinking of spending the rest of my life


Locked in my room.


Good. At least the bathroom will be free.


Grandma's ruining everything!


Look, you guys, we've got to get her out of here.


[ Sighs ] okay.


Well, look, let's try to think of a way to do it


Without hurting her feelings, okay?


I know, we can all play dead.


And when grandma goes out to buy a black dress,


We'll move.


That won't work.


Maybe if we put a big rock in her bed.


Nah, she'd just think she was home with grandpa.


Maybe grandpa could help.


Yeah, yeah, maybe he could convince grandma


To come back home.


Right. They got married.


He must have swept her off her feet at least once.


Yeah, but we don't know what shape his broom is in today.


You guys, anything's worth a try.


Well, one of us has to go talk to him.


Thanks for volunteering.


But I'm too young to go! Why me?


'Cause grandfathers always love the littlest one.


Yeah, that's right. Come on.


Aren't you his little chibulnik?


That's what he calls me.


What is a chibulnik, anyway?


I'm not sure,


But I'll bet you it's got a lot of garlic in it.


Listen, you go see your grandfather tomorrow, all right?


Why not? I guess I can take one more...


[ Laughter ]


Okay, charlie.


Be here at sharp for the poker game.


What's that?


Oh, no, no, no, don't bring a thing.


I got everything --


Hot dogs, caramel corn, saltwater taffy.


Uh-oh, you better stop by for a tube of fixodent.


And, charlie, for the benefit of those of us


Who can still smell,


Will you kindly not wear your lucky socks?


[ Doorbell rings ]


Charlie, I got to go now.


You're ringing the front doorbell.


Samantha!


[ Laughs ]


Well, I'm afraid you're a little early for the poker game,


But come on in.


You can help me soften up the pretzels.


Grandpa, this is serious. I have to talk to you.


Sure. Sure, darling. Sit down.


I came to ask you a favor.


Anything. Anything at all.


Okay. Get grandma to come back here.


Well, what do you know? My hearing aid just went out.


Come on, grandpa! This is your chibulnik talking.


Chibulniks can't talk. They're little toads or warts.


Grandpa, please!


Oh, all right.



How can grandma come back?


Nell's sick, isn't she?


Well, nell's getting better.


But the rest of us are getting sick.


Well, now, come on. Grandma can't make you sick.


A little nauseous maybe.


We love grandma, but not full-time.


She served cabbage every way except for dessert.


You've never had her cabbage à la mode?


Grandpa, will you help us?


Oh, samantha, I don't know.


You see, I'm having a real ball now.


I have poker with the boys and baseball on tv and beer --


All the things grandma won't let me do.


I can understand that.


Anyway, I don't blame you for not wanting to help us.


[ Sighs ] so, uh, I guess this is goodbye...


Forever.


I'm hopping a bus to a new town.


Where?


I don't care.


Anywhere that they have an anti-cabbage law.


And don't worry about julie.


She's gonna start her own business --


Selling flowers on freeway off-ramps.


What about katie?


Katie's gonna elope.


With whom?


She doesn't care.


She's had offers from every scuzzball in town.


Oh, and, uh, nell says that she's gonna run away.


She's gonna join the circus as a trapeze tester.


Here? In earthquake country?


That does it, I'm coming with you.


All the kanisky women were great housekeepers.


That's why it's very important to learn how to iron.


But, grandma, the messy, wrinkled look is in.


Julie, if that were true, you'd be miss america.


Hi.


I just happened to run into grandpa.


He was feeding geritol to the pigeons in the park.


I came by to see how my better half is doing.


Wipe your feet.


And I'm doing just fine.


[ Sniffs ] I smell cabbage.


[ Sniffs ] and menthol.


[ Sniffs ] and wet wool.


What's she cooking? Stuffed pajamas?


Grandpa, don't forget why you're here.


Oh, yes, yes. Yes, yes.


Mildred, my dear, I miss you,


I need you, and I want you to come home.


Oh, my, he's delirious.


Nothing wrong with me, my little strudel.


I just can't live without you.


Last week, you couldn't live with me.


Times change, and so do people.


Come home with me now


And I'll give you a night to remember.


I cannot leave nell. And what about the children?


How will they get along without me?


Better. What?


No, she means "better that I'm all better."


You see, grandma,


It's okay for you to go home with grandpa.


But your father wouldn't even know I was even here.


I think he will.


I think you're burning a hole in his pants.


Oh, my! I hope it's not in a crucial place.


Oh, dear.


Now I'll have to put a patch in there.


You see, stanley. They need me.


Are you quite sure of that?


Yes, dear. Run along home.


All right, my little turtledove,


Just one teensy-weensy, little phone call.


Beep, beep, beep, da, da, da, da.


Charlie, stanley here.


Well, she's not coming home, so we're on for tonight.


[ Laughs ] I'll bring the food and drinks.


You bring the girls. Goodbye.


You are bringing girls to my home?


Well, I don't dance with fellas.


I'll go get my bag.


Thanks, grandpa! You saved our lives.


Well, don't give me too much credit.


The truth is I really miss the old ball and chain.


Grandpa, that's sweet.


No, that only means I'm not rowing with both oars.


Mildred! Don't silly sally. Come on, let's go home!


Goodbye, nell. Goodbye, girls.


Goodbye, grandma.


I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer.


Oh, we are, too.


Mildred, next time you go shopping for a hat,


Take someone with you.


Stanley!


That was quite a performance you put on in there.


As good as dustin hoffman.


Better, I thought. He had to wear a dress.



All that stuff about missing me and needing me --


Well, it started out as an act,


But when I really saw you, looked in your eyes,


It wasn't an act anymore.


Honest?


You betcha.