Inglourious Basterds (2009)

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Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Post by bunniefuu »

[DISTANT RUMBLING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[MEN SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

While I'm very familiar

with you and your family,

I have no way of knowing if

you are familiar with who I am.

Are you aware

of my existence?

Yes.

This is good.

Now, are you aware of the job I've

been ordered to carry out in France?

Yes.

Please tell me

what you've heard.

I've heard

that the Fhrer has put you in charge

of rounding up the Jews left in France

who are either hiding

or passing for Gentile.

The Fhrer couldn't have

said it better himself.

But the meaning

of your visit,

pleasant though it is,

is mysterious to me.

The Germans looked through my house

nine months ago for hiding Jews

and found nothing.

I'm aware of that.

I've read the reports

of this area.

But like any enterprise,

when under new management,

there is always a slight

duplication of efforts,

most of it being a complete waste of

time, but needs to be done nevertheless.

I just have a few questions,

monsieur LaPadite.

If you can assist me

with answers,

my department can close

the file on your family.

Now,

before the occupation, there were

four Jewish families in this area,

all dairy farmers

like yourself.

Doleracs, Rollins,

the Loveitts

and the Dreyfuses.

Is that correct?

To my knowledge,

those were the Jewish families

among the dairy farmers.

Herr Colonel, would it disturb

you if I smoked my pipe?

[CHUCKLES] Please,

monsieur LaPadite,

this is your house,

make yourself comfortable.

Now, according

to these papers,

all the Jewish families in this

area have been accounted for

except the Dreyfuses.

Somewhere in the last year it

would appear they've vanished.

Which leads me to the conclusion that

they've either made good their escape

or someone is very

successfully hiding them.

What have you heard about the

Dreyfuses, monsieur LaPadite?

Only rumors.

I love rumors!

Facts could be

so misleading,

where rumors, true or

false, are often revealing.

So, monsieur LaPadite,

what rumors have you heard

regarding the Dreyfuses?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Again,

this is just a rumor,

but we heard the Dreyfuses

had made their way into Spain.

[MATCHSTICKS SCRAPING]

So, the rumors you've heard

have been of escape?

[AGREES IN FRENCH]

Yes.

Having never met the Dreyfuses,

would you confirm for me

the exact members of the

household and their names?

[CLEARS THROAT]

There were

five of them.

The father, Jacob.

Wife, Miram.

And her brother, Bob.

How old is Bob?

Thirty, 31.

Continue.

And the children,

Amos

and Shosanna.

Ages of the children?

[SIGHS]

Amos was nine or 10.

And Shosanna?

And Shosanna was

I'm not really sure.

Well, I guess

that should do it.

[ZIPPER CLOSING]

However, before I go, could I have

another glass of your delicious milk?

But of course.

Monsieur LaPadite,

are you aware of the nickname the

people of France have given me?

[SIGHS]

I have no interest

in such things.

But you are aware

of what they call me.

I'm aware.

What are you aware of?

[THANKING IN FRENCH]

That they call you

"The Jew Hunter."

Precisely.

I understand your

trepidation in repeating it.

Heydrich apparently

hates the moniker

the good people of Prague

have bestowed on him.

Actually, why he would hate the

name "the Hangman" is baffling to me.

It would appear he has done

everything in his power to earn it.

Now I, on the other hand,

love my unofficial title

precisely because

I've earned it.

The feature that makes me such an

effective hunter of the Jews is,

as opposed to most

German soldiers,

I can think like a Jew

where they can only

think like a German.

[CHUCKLING] More precisely,

a German soldier.

Now, if one were to determine what attribute

the German people share with a beast,

it would be the cunning and the

predatory instinct of a hawk.

But if one were to determine what

attributes the Jews share with a beast,

it would be

that of the rat.

The Fhrer and Goebbels' propaganda

have said pretty much the same thing.

But where our conclusions

differ,

is I don't consider

the comparison an insult.

Consider for a moment

the world a rat lives in.

It's a hostile world,

indeed.

If a rat were to scamper through

your front door, right now,

would you greet it

with hostility?

I suppose I would.

Has a rat ever done

anything to you

to create this animosity

you feel toward them?

Rats spread disease.

They bite people.

Rats were the cause of the bubonic

plague, but that's some time ago.

I propose to you any disease

a rat could spread,

a squirrel could

equally carry.

Would you agree?

[AGREES IN FRENCH]

Yet, I assume you don't share

the same animosity with squirrels

that you do with rats,

do you?

No.

Yet, they're both rodents,

are they not?

And except for the tail, they

even rather look alike, don't they?

It's an interesting thought,

Herr Colonel.

However interesting

as the thought may be,

it makes not one bit of

difference to how you feel.

If a rat were to walk in

here, right now, as I'm talking

would you greet it with a

saucer of your delicious milk?

Probably not.

I didn't think so.

You don't like them.

You don't really know

why you don't like them.

All you know is

you find them repulsive.

Consequently, a German

soldier conducts a search

of a house suspected

of hiding Jews.

Where does the hawk look?

He looks in the barn, he looks in

the attic, he looks in the cellar,

he looks everywhere

he would hide.

But there are so many places it

would never occur to a hawk to hide.

However, the reason the Fhrer has

brought me off my Alps in Austria

and placed me in French cow country

today is because it does occur to me.

Because I'm aware what tremendous

feats human beings are capable of

once they abandon dignity.

May I smoke my pipe

as well?

Please, Herr Colonel,

make yourself at home.

Now, my job dictates

that I must have my men

enter your home

and conduct

a thorough search

before I can officially cross

your family's name off my list.

And if there are any irregularities

to be found, rest assured they will be.

That is unless you have

something to tell me

that makes the conducting

of a search unnecessary.

I might add, also,

that any information

that makes the performance of my duty

easier will not be met with punishment.

Actually, quite the contrary.

It will be met with reward.

And that reward will be,

your family will cease

to be harassed in any way

by the German military during the

rest of our occupation of your country.

You're sheltering enemies

of the state, are you not?

Yes.

You're sheltering them underneath

your floorboards, aren't you?

Yes.

Point out to me the areas

where they're hiding.

Since I haven't heard

any disturbance,

I assume, while they're listening,

they don't speak English.

Yes.

I'm going to switch back to French now,

and I want you to follow my masquerade.

Is that clear?

[SNIFFLES]

Yes.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SHUSHING]

It's the girl.

[SOBBING]

[EXCLAIMS]

[PANTING]

Au revoir, Shosanna!

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

ALDO: Ten-hut!

My name is

Lieutenant Aldo Raine.

And I'm putting together a special

team, and I need me eight soldiers.

Eight Jewish

American soldiers.

Now, you all might've heard rumors

about the armada happening soon.

Well, we'll be leaving

a little earlier.

We're going to be dropped into

France dressed as civilians.

Once we're

in enemy territory,

as a bushwhacking

guerrilla army,

we're going to be doing one

thing and one thing only.

k*lling Nazis.

I don't know

about you all,

but I sure as hell didn't come down

from the g*dd*mn Smoky Mountains,

cross 5, 000 miles of water,

fight my way through half of Sicily

and jump out of a f*cking airplane to

teach the Nazis lessons in humanity.

n*zi ain't got no humanity.

They're the foot soldiers of a

Jew-hating, mass-murdering maniac

and they need

to be destroyed.

That's why any and every son of a

bitch we find wearing a n*zi uniform,

they're going to die.

Now, I'm the direct descendent

of the mountain man Jim Bridger.

That means I got

a little Indian in me.

And our battle plan will be

that of an Apache resistance.

We will be cruel

to the Germans.

And through our cruelty,

they will know who we are.

And they will find

the evidence of our cruelty

in the disemboweled,

dismembered

and d*sfigured bodies of their

brothers we leave behind us.

And the German won't be able

to help themselves

but imagine the cruelty their

brothers endured at our hands,

and our boot heels

and the edge of our knives.

And the German

will be sickened by us.

And the German

will talk about us.

And the German

will fear us.

And when the German

closes their eyes at night

and they're tortured by their

subconscious for the evil they have done,

it will be with thoughts of us

that they are tortured with.

Sound good?

ALL: Yes, sir!

That's what I like to hear.

But I got a word of warning

for all you would-be warriors.

When you join my command,

you take on debit.

A debit you owe me,

personally.

Each and every man under my

command owes me 100 n*zi scalps.

And I want my scalps.

And all y'all will get me 100 n*zi scalps

taken from the heads of 100 dead Nazis.

Or you will die trying!

[SHOUTING IN GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[INTERCOM BUZZING]

[KLIEST SPEAKING GERMAN ON INTERCOM]

[KLIEST SPEAKING GERMAN]

[BUTZ SPEAKING GERMAN]

[BASTERDS LAUGHING]

Hey, Hirschberg.

Send that Kraut

sarge over.

HIRSCHBERG: You. Go.

Sergeant

Werner Rachtman.

Lieutenant Aldo Raine.

Pleased to meet you.

You know what

"sit down" means, Werner?

Yes.

Then sit down.

How is your English,

Werner?

Because if need be, we got a

couple of fellows who can translate.

Wicki here,

an Austrian-Jew, got the f*ck out

of Munich while the getting was good.

Became American, got drafted,

come back to give y'all what for.

Another one up there

you might be familiar with.

Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz.

Heard of him?

Everybody in the German Army

has heard of Hugo Stiglitz.

[BASTERDS LAUGHING]

MALE NARRATOR: The reason

for Hugo Stiglitz's celebrity

among German soldiers

is simple.

As a German-enlisted man,

he k*lled 13 Gestapo officers.

Instead of putting him up

against a wall,

the High Command decided

to send him back to Berlin

to be made an example of.

Needless to say, once the

Basterds heard about him,

he never got there.

[GASPING]

Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz?

Lieutenant Aldo Raine.

These are the Basterds.

Ever heard of us?

We just want to say we're

a big fan of your work.

When it comes

to k*lling Nazis...

[MAN GROANING]

...I think you show

great talent.

And I pride myself for having

an eye for that kind of talent.

But your status as a n*zi

k*ller is still amateur.

We all come here to see

if you want to go pro.

[BASTERDS LAUGHING]

Can I assume

you know who we are?

You're Aldo the Apache.

[BASTERDS WHOOPING]

Werner,

if you heard of us,

you probably heard we ain't in

the prisoner-taking business.

We in the k*lling n*zi business,

and, cousin, business is a-booming.

HIRSCHBERG:

[LAUGHING] Oh, yeah.

Now, that leaves two ways

we can play this out.

Either k*ll you

or let you go.

Whether or not you're going

to leave this ditch alive

depends entirely on you.

Up the road a piece,

there's an orchard.

Besides you, we know there's another

Kraut patrol f*cking around here somewhere.

If that patrol were

to have any crack sh*ts,

that orchard would be

a g*dd*mn sn*per's delight.

So if you ever want to eat

a sauerkraut sandwich again,

you got to show me on

this here map where they are.

You got to tell me how many

they are, and you got to tell me

what kind of a*tillery

they're carrying with them.

[SCOFFING]

You can't expect me to divulge information

that would put German lives in danger.

Well, now, Werner, that's where you're

wrong, because that's exactly what I expect.

I need to know about

Germans hiding in trees.

And you need to tell me. And

you need to tell me right now.

Now, just take that

finger of yours

and point out on this here map

where this party is being held,

how many is coming and what

they brought to play with.

I respectfully refuse,

sir.

[BATTAPPING]

Hear that?

Yes.

That's Sergeant

Donny Donowitz.

You might know him better

by his nickname.

The Bear Jew.

Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache,

you got to have heard about The Bear Jew.

I heard of The Bear Jew.

What did you hear?

Beats German soldiers

with a club.

He bashes their brains in with

a baseball bat, what he does.

And, Werner, I'm going to

ask you one last g*dd*mn time,

and if you still

respectfully refuse,

I'm calling

The Bear Jew over.

He's going to take

that big bat of his,

and he's going to beat

your ass to death with it.

Now, take your

Wiener-schnitzel-licking finger,

and point out on this map

what I want to know.

f*ck you.

And your Jew dogs.

[BASTERDS LAUGHING]

[BASTERDS APPLAUDING]

Actually, Werner, we're all

tickled to hear you say that.

Quite frankly, watching

Donny beat Nazis to death

is the closest we ever get

to going to the movies. Donny!

DONNY: Yeah?

Got us a German here who

wants to die for country.

Oblige him.

[BAT TAPPING]

[CONTINUES TAPPING]

[BASTERDS CHEERING]

Did you get that

for k*lling Jews?

Bravery.

[BASTERDS EXCLAIMING]

Yeah!

BASTERD 1: Oh, no!

BASTERD 2: Oh, no!

Donny!

BASTERD: Yeah, Donny!

About now I'd be sh1tting

my pants if I was you.

[LAUGHING]

Teddy f*cking Williams

knocks it out of the park!

Fenway Park is on its feet

for Teddy f*cking Ballgame!

He went yard on that one,

on to f*cking Lansdowne Street!

You!

Damn it,

Hirschberg!

Donny, bring that other one

over here. Alive!

Get the f*ck up! Batter

up. You're on deck!

Two hits. I hit you,

you hit the ground.

English?

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

ALDO: Wicki.

Ask him

if he wants to live.

[BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN]

Tell him to point out on

this map the German position.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[BASTERDS LAUGHING]

Ask him how many Germans.

[BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN]

Around about 12.

What kind of a*tillery?

[BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Now, when you report

what happened here,

you can't tell them you told us

what you told us. They'll sh**t you.

They're going to want to know why

you so special, we let you live.

So tell them, we let you live so you

could spread the word through the ranks

what's going to happen

to every n*zi we find.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Now that you've survived the w*r, when

you get home, what you going to do?

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

WICKI: He's going

to hug his mother.

[SNIFFS]

Well, ain't that nice?

Ask if he's going

to take off his uniform.

[WICKI SPEAKING GERMAN]

[BUTZ SPEAKING GERMAN]

WICKI: He's going

to burn it.

Yeah, that's what we

thought. We don't like that.

See, we like our Nazis in uniforms.

That way you can spot them.

Just like that.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

But you take off that uniform, ain't

nobody going to know you's a n*zi.

And that don't sit

well with us.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

So I'm going to give you a little

something you can't take off.

You know, Lieutenant, you're

getting pretty good at that.

You know how you get to

Carnegie Hall, don't you?

Practice.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[EXCLAIMS]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[LAUGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SIGHS]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY]

[EXHALES]

[SPEAKS FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHS EXCITEDLY]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[OFFLCER EXCLAIMS]

[OFFICERS CHATTERING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[EXHALES]

[CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHS]

[SAYING GOODBYE IN FRENCH]

[DRIVER SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[CAR APPROACHING]

[BRAKES SCREECH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHING]

[GOEBBELS LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[GOEBBELS SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[FREDRICK LAUGHS]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[PANTING]

[BRAYING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[TRANSLATING IN FRENCH]

[TRANSLATOR SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[COUGHS]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[TRANSLATOR SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[TRANSLATES IN GERMAN]

[GOEBBELS SPEAKING GERMAN]

[TRANSLATING IN GERMAN]

[SCOFFS]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHING]

[TRANSLATING IN FRENCH]

[FREDRICK SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

HANS: Au revoir, Shosanna!

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHING]

[HANS SPEAKING GERMAN]

[FREDRICK SPEAKING GERMAN]

[HANS SPEAKING GERMAN]

[FREDRICK SPEAKING GERMAN]

[GOEBBELS SPEAKING GERMAN]

[HANS SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[CHUCKLES]

[GASPING]

[GOEBBELS SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHS]

[TRANSLATOR

SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SHOSANNA SPEAKING FRENCH]

[GOEBBELS SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SCOFFS]

MALE NARRATOR: At that time, 35

millimeter nitrate film was so flammable

that you couldn't even

bring a reel onto a streetcar.

Hey, you can't bring those

here on a public vehicle.

They're films, ain't they? Yes.

Then they're flammable.

Go on, hop off.

MALE NARRATOR: Because nitrate film

burns three times faster than paper.

Shosanna has a collection

of over 350 nitrate

film prints.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

MAN: Right this way,

Lieutenant.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Lieutenant Archie Hicox

reporting, sir.

General Ed Fenech.

At ease, Hicox.

Drink?

If you offer me a scotch and plain water,

I could drink a scotch and plain water.

That-a-boy, Lieutenant. Make it

yourself like a good chap, will you?

The bar is in the globe.

Something for yourself,

sir?

Whiskey. Straight.

No junk in it.

It says here that

you speak German fluently.

Like a Katzenjammer Kid.

And your occupation

before the w*r?

I'm a film critic.

List your accomplishments.

Well, sir,

such as they are,

I write reviews and articles for a

publication called Films and Filmmakers,

and I've had

two books published.

Impressive. Don't be modest,

Lieutenant. What are their titles?

The first book

was called

Art of the Eyes, the Heart and the Mind:

A Study of German Cinema in the '20s.

And the second one was called

Twenty-Four Frame da Vinci.

It's a subtextual film criticism study

of the work of German director G.W. Pabst.

What should we

drink to, sir?

Well...

Down with Hitler.

All the way down, sir.

Yes.

Are you familiar with German

cinema under the Third Reich?

Yes. Obviously, I haven't seen any of

the films made in the last three years,

but I'm familiar with it.

Explain it to me.

Pardon, sir?

Well, this little escapade of ours requires

a knowledge of the German film industry

under the Third Reich. Explain

to me UFA under Goebbels.

Goebbels considers

the films he's making

to be the beginning of a

new era in German cinema.

An alternative

to what he considers

the Jewish-German intellectual

cinema of the '20s,

and the Jewish-controlled

dogma of Hollywood.

How's he doing?

Frightfully sorry, sir.

Once again?

You say he wants to take on

the Jews at their own game.

Well, compared to,

say, Louis B. Mayer,

how's he doing?

Quite well, actually.

Since Goebbels

has taken over,

film attendance has steadily risen

in Germany over the last eight years.

But Louis B. Mayer wouldn't be

Goebbels' proper opposite number.

I believe Goebbels sees himself

closer to David O. Selznick.

Brief him.

Lieutenant Hicox, at this point and time

I'd like to brief you on Operation Kino.

Three days from now

Joseph Goebbels is throwing a gala

premiere of one of his new movies in Paris.

What film, sir?

The motion picture is

called Nation's Pride.

In attendance at this

joyous Germatic occasion

will be Goebbels, Goring, Bormann,

and most of the German High Command

including all high ranking officers

of both the SS and the Gestapo,

as well as luminaries of the

n*zi propaganda film industry.

The master race at play?

Basically, we have all our

rotten eggs in one basket.

The objective

of Operation Kino,

blow up the basket.

And like the snows of

yesteryear, gone from this earth.

Jolly good, sir.

An American Secret Service outfit

that lives deep behind enemy lines

will be your assist.

The Germans call them

the Basterds.

The Basterds.

Never heard of them.

Whole point of the Secret Service,

old boy, you not hearing of them.

But the Jerries have heard of them, because

these Yanks have been them the devil.

You'll be dropped into France,

about 24 kilometers outside of Paris.

The Basterds

will be waiting for you.

First thing, you'll go to a

little village called Nadine.

In Nadine, there's a

tavern called La Louisiane.

There you'll rendezvous with our

double agent. She'll take it from there.

She's the one who is going

to get you into the premiere.

It'll be you, her, and two

German-born members of the Basterds.

She's also made all the other

arrangements you're going to need.

How will I know her?

I suspect that won't be

too much trouble for you.

Your contact

is Bridget von Hammersmark.

Bridget von Hammersmark?

[CHUCKLING] The German movie

star is working for England?

Yes, for the last

two years now.

One could even say that

Operation Kino was her brainchild.

Indeed.

Got the gist?

I think so, sir.

Paris when it sizzles.

You didn't say the g*dd*mn

rendezvous is in a f*cking basement.

I didn't know.

You said it was

in a tavern.

It is a tavern.

Yeah, in a basement.

You know, fighting in a basement

offers a lot of difficulties.

Number one being, you're

fighting in a basement.

What if we go in there

and she's not even there?

We wait.

Don't worry. She's a British

spy. She'll make the rendezvous.

Stiglitz, right?

That's right, sir.

I hear you're pretty good

with that.

You know, we're not looking

for trouble right now.

Simply making contact with our

agent. Should be uneventful.

However, the off chance I'm

wrong, things prove eventful,

I need to know

we can all remain calm.

I don't look calm to you?

[LAUGHS]

Well, now that you put it

like that, I guess you do.

This Jerry of yours, Stiglitz, not

exactly the loquacious type, is he?

Is that the kind of man

you need? Loquacious type?

Fair point, Lieutenant.

So you all get in trouble in

there, what are we supposed to do?

Make bets

on how it all comes out?

If we get into trouble,

we can handle it.

But if trouble does happen,

we need you to make damn sure

no Germans, or French, for that

matter, escape from that basement.

If Frau von Hammersmark's cover is

compromised, the mission is kaput.

Speaking of Frau von Hammersmark, whose

idea was it for the deathtrap rendezvous?

She chose the spot.

Isn't that just dandy?

Look, she's not a military

strategist. She's just an actress.

You don't got to be Stonewall Jackson to

know you don't want to fight in a basement.

She wasn't picking

a place to fight.

She was picking a place

isolated and without Germans.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHING]

[ORDERING IN GERMAN AND FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[MAN LAUGHING]

[FEMALE SERGEANT SPEAKING GERMAN]

[GLASS SHATTERING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH AND GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN

SOFTLY]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[CORK POPPING]

Mmm.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[ALL CHEERING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[ALL TOASTING IN GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[STAMMERING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHING]

[THANKING IN GERMAN]

[EXHALING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[PHONOGRAPH CRACKLING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[CHUCKLING]

[LAUGHING]

[SIGHS]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[HUMMING EXOTIC MELODY]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[WHIP CRACKING]

[GRUNTS]

[VON HAMMERSMARK LAUGHING]

[VON HAMMERSMARK AND HICOX

SPEAKING GERMAN]

[HICOX SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[EXHALES]

[ERIC SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[EXCLAIMS]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Well, if this is it,

old boy,

I hope you don't mind if I

go out speaking the King's.

By all means,

Captain.

There's a special rung in hell reserved

for people who waste good Scotch.

Seeing as I may be rapping

on the door momentarily,

I must say,

damn good stuff, sir.

Now, about this pickle

we find ourselves in.

It would appear there's only

one thing left for you to do.

And what would that be?

Stiglitz.

Say auf Wiedersehen

to your n*zi balls.

[SCREAMING]

[PANTING]

[DOOR OPENING]

[g*n COCKING]

You outside.

Who are you?

British? American?

What?

ALDO: We're American.

What are you?

I'm a German, you idiot.

ALDO: Speak English

pretty good for a German.

I agree.

So let's talk.

Okay, talk.

I'm a father.

My baby was born today.

In Frankfurt.

Five hours ago.

His name is Max. We were in

here drinking, celebrating.

They're the ones that came in sh**ting

and k*lling. It's not my fault!

Okay!

It wasn't your fault.

What's your name,

soldier?

Wilhelm.

Now, is there anybody alive

on our side?

No.

I'm alive!

[SHOUTING IN GERMAN]

ALDO: Who's that?

[GRUNTS]

Is the girl

on your side?

Which girl?

Who do you think?

Von Hammersmark.

Yeah, she's ours.

Is she okay?

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Wilhelm!

[SHOUTING IN GERMAN]

She's been shot.

But she's alive.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

ALDO: Okay, Wilhelm.

What do you say

we make us a deal?

What's your name?

Aldo.

Okay, Wilhelm,

here's my deal.

You let me and one of my men come

down there and take the girl away.

No g*ns. No g*ns me,

no g*ns you.

And we take the girl and

leave. It's that simple, Willi.

You go your way,

we go ours.

And little Max gets to grow up

playing catch with his daddy.

So what do you say, Willi?

We got us a deal?

Aldo.

I'm here, Willi.

I want to trust you.

But...

But how can I?

What choice you got,

son?

Okay, okay.

Aldo,

I'm going to trust you.

Come down.

[SNIFFLES]

Hey, Willi, what's with the machine

g*n? I thought we had us a deal?

We still have a deal.

Now, get the girl and go.

Not so fast.

We only got a deal,

we trust each other.

And a Mexican standoff

ain't trust.

You need g*ns on me for it

to be a Mexican standoff.

You got g*ns on us. You

decide to sh**t, we're dead.

Up top, they got grenades. They

drop them down here, you're dead.

That's a Mexican standoff,

and that was not the deal.

No trust,

no deal.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

All right, Aldo.

Fine.

Just take that f*cking traitor,

and get her out of my sight.

[VON HAMMERSMARK GROANING]

Not so g*dd*mn fast, doc. Tell

him to go play with his dogs.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[DOGS BARKING]

Before we yank that slug out you,

you need to answer a few questions.

Few questions

about what?

About I got three men

dead back there.

Why don't you try telling us

what the f*ck happened?

The British officer blew his German

act and the Gestapo major saw it.

Before we get into

who shot John,

why'd you invite my men to a rendezvous

in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?

I can see since you didn't

see what happened inside,

that the Nazis being there

must look odd.

Yeah, we got a word for

that kind of odd in English.

It's called suspicious.

[EXCLAIMING]

Everybody needs

to calm down.

You're letting your imagination

get the better of you.

You met the sergeant

yourself. Willi.

You remember him,

don't you?

Yeah, I remember him.

His wife had a baby tonight.

He had just become a...

He had just become

a father!

His commanding officer gave him and

his mates the night off to celebrate.

[GROANS]

The Germans being there was either a

trap set by me or a tragic coincidence.

It couldn't be both.

[GRUNTING]

How'd the sh**ting start?

The Englishman

gave himself away.

How'd he do that?

He ordered three glasses.

We order three glasses.

That's the German three.

The other looks odd.

Germans would

and did notice it.

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

Okay, let's pretend

there were no Germans

and everything went exactly

the way it was supposed to.

What was the next step?

Tuxedos.

To get them into the premiere

wearing military uniforms

with all the military there

would've been su1c1de.

But going as members

of the German film industry,

they wear tuxedos and fit

in with everybody else.

I arranged for the tailor

to fit three tuxedos tonight.

How'd you intend to get them

in that premiere?

Hand me my purse.

Lieutenant Hicox

was going as my escort.

The other two were going as a

German cameraman and his assistant.

You still get us

in that premiere?

You speak German better

than your friends? No.

Have I been shot? Yes!

I don't see me tripping the light

fantastique up a red carpet anytime soon.

Least of all,

by tomorrow night.

However, there's something

you don't know.

There've been two recent

developments regarding Operation Kino.

One, the venue has been changed from

The Ritz to a much smaller venue.

Enormous change at the last

minute? That's not very Germatic.

Why the hell is Goebbels

doing stuff so damn peculiar?

It probably has something to

do with the second development.

Which is?

Der Fuhrer is attending

the premiere.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

f*ck a duck!

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking getting a whack

at planting old Uncle Adolf

makes this horse

a different color.

What is that

supposed to mean?

It means you getting us

in that premiere.

I'm probably going

to end up losing this leg.

Bye-bye, acting career.

Fun while it lasted.

How do you expect me

to walk the red carpet?

[SNORTS]

Doggy doc's going to dig

that slug out your gam.

He's going to wrap it up

in a cast,

and you got a good how-I-broke-my-leg-

mountain-climbing story.

That's German, ain't it? You all

like climbing mountains, don't you?

I don't. I like smoking, drinking

and ordering in restaurants.

But I see your point.

We fill you up with morphine

till it's coming out your ears

and just limp your little

ass up that reuge carpet.

I know this is a silly

question before I ask it,

but can you Americans speak

any other language than English?

We both speak

a little Italian.

With an atrocious accent,

no doubt.

But that doesn't exactly

k*ll us in the crib.

Germans don't have

a good ear for Italian.

So you mumble Italian and brazen

through it. Is that the plan?

That's about it.

That sounds good.

It sounds like shit. What else

are we going to do? Go home?

No, that sounds good.

If you don't blow it, with that,

I can get you in the building.

Who does what?

Well, I speak the most

Italian, so I'll be your escort.

Donowitz speaks second most, so

he'll be your Italian cameraman.

Omar, third most.

He'll be Donny's assistant.

I don't speak Italian.

Like I said, third best. Just

keep your f*cking mouth shut.

In fact, why don't you

start practicing right now?

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[CHUCKLES]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE STARTING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[KISSES]

[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Yes.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[MAN SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

Gorlomi?

Gorlomi.

[SOFTLY] Gorlomi.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

Antonio Margheriti.

Margheriti.

HANS: Margheriti.

Dominick Decocco.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

Dominick Decocco.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

[ALL SAYING GOODBYE IN ITALIAN]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[HANS SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

[USHER CONTINUES

ANNOUNCING IN GERMAN]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[GASPS SOFTLY]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

What's that

American expression?

"If the shoe fits,

you must wear it."

[CHUCKLES]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[HANS EXCLAIMING]

[VON HAMMERSMARK GRUNTING]

[VON HAMMERSMARK SIGHS]

[HANS PANTING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

ALDO: f*cking shithead.

f*gg*t f*ck. f*ck you!

Bunch of shithead f*ck.

f*ck you, too!

g*dd*mn n*zi farts, sons of

b*tches! Get your hands off me.

You f*cking bratwurst-smelling...

g*dd*mn you! Get off!

Hmm.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

You Jerry-banging,

Limburg-smelling...

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

As Stanley said

to Livingstone,

Lieutenant Aldo Raine,

I presume?

Hans Landa.

[TRUCK ENGINE STARTING]

You've had

a nice long run, Aldo.

Alas, you're now

in the hands of the SS.

My hands to be exact.

And they've been waiting

a long time to touch you.

Caught you flinching.

ALDO: Touch me again,

Kraut-burger.

Utivich?

Is that you,

Lieutenant?

Yeah.

Do you know

what happened to Donny?

Omar?

The woman?

No, I do not.

Tell me, Aldo, if I were

sitting where you're sitting,

would you

show me mercy?

Nope.

What is that English

expression about shoes and feet?

"Looks like the shoe is on the other

foot." Yeah, I was just thinking that.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

So you're Aldo the Apache.

So you're The Jew Hunter.

I'm a detective.

A damn good detective.

Finding people

is my specialty,

so naturally, I worked for

the Nazis finding people.

And, yes, some of them

were Jews. But Jew Hunter?

[SNORTS]

Just a name that stuck.

Well, you do have to

admit, it is catchy.

Do you control the nicknames

your enemies bestow on you?

Aldo the Apache

and the Little Man?

What do you mean

the Little Man?

Germans' nickname for you.

The Germans' nickname for me

is the Little Man?

And as if to make my point, I'm a little

surprised how tall you were in real life.

I mean, you're a little fellow,

but not circus-midget little,

as your reputation

would suggest.

Where's my men?

Where's

Bridget von Hammersmark?

Well, let's just say,

she got what she deserved.

And when you purchase friends

like Bridget von Hammersmark,

you get what you pay for.

Now as far as your paesanos,

Sergeant Donowitz and Private Omar...

How you know our names?

Lieutenant Aldo,

if you don't think

I wouldn't interrogate

every single one of your

swastika-marked survivors,

we simply aren't operating on the

level of mutual respect I assumed.

No, I guess not.

Well, back to the whereabouts

of your two Italian saboteurs.

As of this moment,

both Omar and Donowitz should be sitting

in the very seats we left them in.

Double-zero 23 and double-zero

expl*sives still around their

ankles, still ready to explode.

And your mission, some

would call a t*rror1st plot,

as of this moment,

is still a go.

That's a pretty exciting story.

What's next? Eliza on Ice?

However,

all I have to do is pick up

this phone right here,

inform the cinema,

and your plan is kaput.

If they're still here, and if they're

still alive, and that's one big if,

there ain't no way you're

going to take them boys

without setting off

them bombs.

I have no doubt.

And, yes, some Germans will die.

Yes, it will ruin the evening.

And, yes, Goebbels will be

very, very, very mad at you

for what you've done

to his big night.

But you won't get Hitler,

you won't get Goebbels,

you won't get Goring,

and you won't get Bormann.

And you need all four

to end the w*r.

But if I don't pick up

this phone right here,

you may very well

get all four.

And if you get all four,

you end the w*r

tonight.

So, gentlemen,

let's discuss the prospect

of ending the w*r tonight.

So, the way I see it,

since Hitler's death or possible

rescue rests solely on my reaction,

if I do nothing,

it's as if I'm causing his

death even more than yourselves.

Wouldn't you agree?

I guess so.

How about you,

Utivich?

I guess so, too.

Gentlemen,

I have no intention

of k*lling Hitler and k*lling Goebbels

and k*lling Goring and k*lling Bormann,

not to mention winning the w*r

single-handedly for the Allies,

only later to find myself

standing before a Jewish tribunal.

If you want to win

the w*r tonight,

we have to make a deal.

What kind of deal?

The kind you wouldn't

have the authority to make.

However, I'm sure this mission

of yours has a commanding officer.

A general.

I'm betting for...

OSS would be my guess.

[EXCLAIMS]

That's a bingo!

Is that the way you say it?

"That's a bingo."

You just say, "Bingo."

Bingo! How fun.

But I digress. Where were

we? Yeah! Make a deal.

Over there is a very capable

two-way radio and sitting behind it

is a more than capable

radio operator named Hermann.

Get me someone on the

other end of that radio

with the power of the pen

to authorize my,

let's call it, the terms

of my conditional surrender.

If that tastes better

going down.

You know,

where I'm from...

Yeah?

Where is that exactly?

Maynardville,

Tennessee.

I've done my share

of bootlegging.

Up there, if you engage in what the

federal government calls illegal activity,

but what we call just a man trying

to make a living for his family

selling moonshine liquor, it

behooves oneself to keep his wits.

Long story short, we hear

a story too good to be true,

it ain't.

Sitting in your chair, I would

probably say the same thing,

and 999. 999 times out of a

million, you would be correct.

But in the pages of history,

every once in a while,

fate reaches out

and extends its hand.

What shall

the history books read?

[PEOPLE ON FILM SHOUTING]

[g*nf*re]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[SCREAMING]

MAN: I implore you.

We must destroy that tower.

Sarge, that tower...

MAN: The tower stands!

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Psst! Psst!

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[g*nf*re]

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

HANS: So when the military

history of this night is written,

it will be recorded that I

was part of Operation Kino

from the very beginning

as a double agent.

Anything I've done in

my guise as an SS Colonel

was sanctioned by the OSS

as a necessary evil

to establish my cover

with the Germans.

And it was my placement of

Lieutenant Raine's dynamite

in Hitler and Goebbels' opera

box that assured their demise.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

By the way, that last

part is actually true.

I want my full military pension

and benefits under my proper rank.

I want to receive the

Congressional Medal of Honor

for my invaluable assistance in

the toppling of the Third Reich.

In fact, I want all the

members of Operation Kino

to receive the

Congressional Medal of Honor.

Full citizenship for myself.

Well, that goes without saying.

And I would like

the United States of America

to purchase property for me

on Nantucket Island

as a reward for all the

countless lives I've saved

by bringing the tyranny of

the National Socialist Party

to a swifter-than-imagined

end. Do you have all that, sir?

I look forward to seeing you

face to face as well, sir.

Lieutenant Raine?

Right here.

Yes, sir.

GENERAL: Colonel Landa will put you and

Private Utivich in a truck as prisoners.

Then he and his radio operator will

get in the truck and drive to our lines.

Upon crossing our lines, Colonel Landa

and his man will surrender to you.

You will then take over

driving of the truck

and bring them straight to me for

debriefing. Is that clear, Lieutenant?

Yes, sir.

Over and out.

[g*nf*re]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[CHIMING]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SIGHS]

[g*nf*re ON FILM]

[GROANS]

[MOANS]

[SCREAMS]

When I k*ll that guy, you got

Can you do it?

I have to.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

Champagne?

[g*nsh*t]

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Who wants to send

a message to Germany?

I have a message

for Germany.

That you are

all going to die.

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

And I want you to look deep into the

face of the Jew who's going to do it!

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

Marcel, burn it down.

Oui, Shosanna.

[LAUGHING]

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

My name

is Shosanna Dreyfus,

and this is the face

of Jewish vengeance.

[SHOSANNA LAUGHING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

HANS: Hermann,

uncuff them.

I'm officially surrendering myself

over to you, Lieutenant Raine.

We're your prisoners.

How about my knife?

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you very much,

Colonel.

Utivich, cuff the Colonel's

hands behind his back.

Is that really

necessary?

I'm a sl*ve

to appearances.

[g*nsh*t]

Scalp Hermann.

Are you mad?

What have you done?

I made a deal with your

general for that man's life!

Yeah, they made that deal. But they don't

give a f*ck about him. They need you.

You'll be shot for this!

Nah, I don't think so. More like

chewed out. I've been chewed out before.

You know, Utivich and myself heard

that deal you made with the brass.

End the w*r tonight?

I'd make that deal.

How about you, Utivich?

You make that deal?

I'd make that deal.

I don't blame you.

Damn good deal.

And that pretty little nest

you feathered for yourself.

Well, if you're willing to

barbecue the whole High Command,

I suppose that's worth

certain considerations.

But I do have

one question.

When you get to your little

place on Nantucket Island,

I imagine you are going to take off that

handsome-looking SS uniform of yours.

Ain't you?

That's what I thought.

Now, that I can't abide.

How about you, Utivich,

can you abide it?

Not one damn bit, sir.

I mean,

if I had my way,

you'd wear that g*dd*mn uniform for

the rest of your pecker-sucking life.

But I'm aware

that ain't practical.

I mean, at some point, you're

going to have to take it off.

So,

I'm going to give you a little

something you can't take off.

[HANS SCREAMING]

You know something,

Utivich?

I think this just might be

my masterpiece.
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